Part 13
The Waylandian Ring, Illyria
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto." Kyle said.
Max rolled his eyes mentally, but kept his face completely impassive. He knew that Kyle was totally freaked, could tell by the tone of his voice. If making dumb comments was going to help him get through the next five minutes without totally screwing everything up, well, then Max wouldn't stop him.
The Dernian guards were still staring at them, their weapons primed and ready to fire. And yet, they didn't move.
"What do we do now Max?" Tess whispered. All three of them were kneeling motionless, their eyes glued on the guards. For some reason Tess seemed incapable of mind-warping them at the moment. Max heard Kyle snort, didn't bother to look at him.
It wasn't his problem at the moment that Kyle Valenti could not seem to get his narrow little mind around the fact that Tess did NOT love him, Max. This was no time for his ridiculous jealousy issues.
"Why are they just standing there?" Tess continued, her voice still low. "I'm not warping them. They can see us. Max, what's going on?"
Max stared at the guards's faces, one after the other, trying to get a read on what was going on in their heads. Their faces were blank as was always the case with Dernians.
And suddenly he saw a flicker cross one of the guard's faces. He was very young, likely no older than Ren - but then age on Illyria was all relative. He could be fifty years old and not look a day over eighteen.
"All hail Jaxon, King of Illyria!" The young guard suddenly yelled, dropping to his knees. Max blinked. He heard Kyle snort again.
"Well, this is just peachy." The Sheriff's son muttered.
While all the other guards paused momentarily, they quickly joined their comrade on his knees.
"Max! What are they doing?" Tess squealed. She was beginning to sound hysterical.
"They think Max is still their king." Kyle replied for him, sounding annoyed. "Typical."
"I don't think Tarsus ever gave them orders otherwise." Max added, feeling amazed that the shapeshifter could have made such a strategic error. "I mean, I was TECHNICALLY their leader before I went back to Earth."
Yes, technically he had been, although Tarsus had really been running the show. It had all been a farce. Max had never willingly been on their side, he had been brainwashed. He shuddered, remembering how awful not having his real memories had been. He had been in such turmoil, hating all those he loved most, not even really REMEMBERING Liz.
But she had taken care of that pretty quickly. The minute he had been around her again he had started to remember who he was.
Liz Parker was his anchor - in every world he had ever existed on. Which was why he had to find her, immediately if not sooner.
And, thank the good Lord, apparently these guards had never been informed of the fact that he wasn't their leader anymore.
Max stood slowly, reached down and helped Tess to her feet. His head was absolutely killing him from the journey through the portal. He quickly brought his hands to his temples, eased a light healing force through his mind.
"Er - just give me a moment." Max told the Dernians. They all seemed sort of in awe. He just hoped he could keep them from contacting Tarsus for a while.
"This is the best luck we've had all day." Max told Tess and Kyle quietly. He could see that Kyle had his lips pressed together tightly, lines around his eyes showing that his head was beginning to pound too. "You guys need to get out of here." He reached out, gently touched Tess's hair, searching for the headache he knew was there, easing the tension in her brain.
He saw Kyle's eyes narrow. "Don't even think about it." He snapped when Max made a move towards him. Max sighed, dropped his hand.
"Max! We're not leaving you." Tess insisted. Max smiled at her. Who knew that she would so quickly become his greatest ally, closest companion? He was going to miss her. They had worked well together in the hours leading up to opening the portal.
But Liz, as always, had to come first. And he needed Tess for something more important.
"They're going to take me straight to Liz." He told her gently. "I have to go. But we can't all be captured. You need to go find the Illyrians Tess. They have to be out there somewhere. The minute Tarsus sees me, he's going to lock me up - but if I can play this out long enough, I might be able to see Liz first. It's going to be up to you and Kyle to rally the troops." He paused, stared at her intently. "Tess, as far as they're concerned, at this time, you are their queen. You can do it."
"But how are you going to get Liz out of the Citadel?" Tess demanded, still sounding like she wasn't at all happy with this plan.
"I'll find a way." Max replied. "The first thing we need to do is take back the Ring. The entire planet is off balance with it under occupation."
"How do you know all this?" Kyle asked, sounding suspicious.
"I just KNOW." Max replied, surprised to realize that this was true. The minute he had stepped through the portal he had felt like he was coming home in a way. All the memories of his last time here came rushing back, reinforcing his feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Great." Kyle shook his head. "And that's supposed to be enough? What about Michael and Isabel? They're going to be freaking."
Max's eyes narrowed. "They were trying to stop me. Let them wait." He snapped.
"And that just proves once and for all that you DON'T know what you're talking about oh mighty one." Kyle was practically yelling. He flinched suddenly, bringing his hands up to massage his temples. "They did believe you. They were trying to stop you so that you could all go together."
Max heard Tess's sharp intake of breath. "Oh no!"
Max felt his guilt hit him with its usual force. He pushed it aside for the moment. "Well, I'm sorry about that." He finally replied quietly. "I didn't know. But its too late for regrets now. I'll make it up to them later."
"You really are a king aren't you." Kyle sounded disgusted. "Its always about you and what YOU want. Don't you even care that our best friends are stranded on Earth with no way to help us?"
"Of course I care." Max snapped again. "But Liz is all that matters right now. She's in the hands of a lunatic shapeshifter. At least they're safe. That has to be enough for the moment."
"It is." Tess nodded resolutely, glaring at Kyle. "There's nothing we can do about it, we didn't know. I'll find our people Max. We'll be ready to help you."
Kyle sighed heavily, thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Whatever." He finally muttered, sounding defeated. "It's not like anyone ever cares what I think anyway."
Max felt another pang of guilt, quickly suppressed it. Tess would deal with Kyle when they were alone he was sure. He reached out, hugged her quickly. "Be careful."
He could hear Kyle starting to complain as he walked away, towards the guards. "Can I ask how we're supposed to find these people?" He was saying to Tess.
Max approached the guards. "Who am I addressing?" He demanded, trying to make his voice sound as commanding as possible. He sort of felt ridiculous, but this was no time to be shy.
"I am Jaxon your highness." The youngest guard stepped forward. Max felt his eyes widen.
"Er, pardon me?" The guard looked proud, an emotion that should NOT have been on his face if he had been podded.
"I was named for you." He admitted.
"Right." Max could feel his face reddening. Would things ever stop being so weird? "Where is Tarsus?" He asked, deciding to get right to the point.
"At the Citadel." Young Jaxon replied. "Balthor has contacted him." He indicated another guard who stood nearby.
Max swallowed. So much for trying to not let Tarsus know that he was there. "What did he say?"
"He said to bring you to the Citadel, that you would speak to each other there."
Max sighed. "Very well. Lead on."
He followed two of the guards towards a nearby transport.
His mind was focused on one thought and one thought alone.
What was he going to do to make Tarsus let him see Liz?
He suddenly felt very alone.
Part 14
Why am I lonely?
You're sitting right here.
Why am I talking?
It's like I'm talking to the air.
What am I looking for that just isn't there?
Why am I angry
And how'd it get so bad?
Why am I missing what we never really had?
Why don't you love me the way I love you?
Why don't you feel things as deep as I do?
We've got a fundamental difference
In matters of emotion,
But I need to feel you need me
Like a river needs an ocean,
Baby, why don't you love me?
Who am I kidding baby?
It wasn't meant to be.
But you wanted a believer
And I needed to believe.
For every wall you built around you
I learnt a brand-new way to climb.
If I could have been your angel
I would have found a way to fly.
Why don't you love me the way I love you?
Why don't you feel things as deep as I do?
We've got a fundamental difference
In matters of emotion,
But I need to feel you need me
Like a river needs and ocean,
Baby, why don't you love me?
Amanda Marshall
"Where the hell are we going?" Kyle demanded a few minutes after they had left Max behind.
Tess had taken off across the grass-covered plain in which the stone circle sat at a fast pace. She had no idea where she was going but she knew that they needed to put as much distance between them and the Ring as they could. "We're going to walk until we find something familiar." She replied.
She was still adjusting to the fact that Kyle was really there. She was angry and confused by the fact.
The whole point of this trip had been to protect Kyle, not to bring him right into the thick of the danger. How had this happened?
To top it all off she was worried about Max. He was walking willingly into the hands of their enemy. The last time he had done that it had ended disastrously. And she had let him do it.
But somehow she had known that it was the right thing to do. Max needed to deal with the situation on his own - at least for the moment. In the end, this was all about Tarsus and Max and the twisted relationship that existed between them. Why else would Tarsus have taken Liz?
Tess couldn't even begin to understand Tarsus's motives. After all, his leader, Danala, was long dead. What did he hope to accomplish by continuing this conflict? She and Michael were the only members of the Dernian ruling family still alive and they were firmly entrenched on the Illyrian side. The Dernian position seemed hopeless.
And yet they were winning. Holding the Citadel AND the Ring meant nothing less.
"Can we stop for a minute?" Kyle said what seemed like forever later. He had been trudging along behind her. Tess had been doing her best to try and ignore his misery. He was huddled in his letterman's jacket, clearly freezing. He had also not allowed Max to heal his portal-imposed head-ache.
But they needed to keep going. They had to find help before the sun set. It was hanging low in the yellow sky at the moment, almost at the horizon of the yellow waving grass which seemed to stretch on forever.
It was all so strange and yet so familiar. Tess was not having memories exactly but she KNEW this place. It wasn't home, and yet it was.
"Just a little further." Tess replied.
She heard Kyle sigh heavily. She didn't look at him, didn't want to see how much he was hurting. There was nothing she could do and she had to get him to safety. They had to find the Illyrians. Max was sure that his people were out here somewhere. She would find them, rally them, take them to help Max regain the Citadel.
"Tess." Tess realized that Kyle's voice suddenly seemed kind of distant. She turned, saw that he was standing about fifty feet away from, had clearly stopped walking.
"Kyle, c'mon. We're not safe out in the open. We need to find..."
"Who Tess? There's no one! We're not safe anywhere." Kyle replied, sounding highly irritated. "We need to talk. Now."
Tess looked at his face. He was staring at her steadily, his eyes blazing with what seemed to be a combination of anger and hurt. Her stomach clenched.
"Kyle, you need to pull yourself together here." Tess told him, wincing at how cold her voice sounded. "I know this is weird for you, but we HAVE to help Max. We don't have time for this right now."
Kyle's eyes flickered. "It's not as weird as you might think." He finally muttered. He started walking again, his head down. "I've had dreams like this you know. Being alone with you. But we're never really alone are we?"
Tess watched him pass her, her eyes wide. "I don't understand." But she did. He was talking about Max - again.
Kyle stopped abruptly again. "You're not the only one. I don't get you at all Tess." He turned around, stared at her again. "Why did you even write that note to Michael? Coming here has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about Max, just like it always is. Isn't it?" He demanded.
Tess swallowed. "No." She whispered. She couldn't put this off any longer. She didn't WANT to. They had to resolve this.
But Kyle wasn't listening. He had apparently been storing this up for a long time and now that the floodgates were opened, there was no stopping him. "Why did you even come to the prom in the first place? I was doing fine until you decided to show up, looking all gorgeous and sexy. I was okay, I was getting over it. I had a girlfriend for God's sake! Do you know I dumped Vicky the day after the prom? What kind of bastard does that make me? A stupid one that's for sure. I can't do it again Tess. I can't get over you AGAIN. And really, what is there to get over? I mean its not like we've even kissed...which makes me an even bigger idiot." His voice was lowering. He suddenly sounded incredibly weary. He shook his head, stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I don't even know how the hell I ended up here. How stupid was I, following you to England? You had what you wanted - Max Evans needing you."
"No." Tess said again, more firmly this time. She could not believe the pain she had put him through.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. She had known. She just had not had the courage to deal with it. And then when she had finally worked up the strength, at the prom, they had been interrupted again.
And now it seemed to be too late. Kyle was certainly in no mood to listen to her. She didn't even think that he would believe her if she told him that it was him she loved. He had convinced himself so completely that she wanted to be with Max, how could they ever get past this?
"Just forget it." Kyle continued. "Let's just go. The sooner we deal with this, the sooner I can get off this rock." He started to walk off. "I think I see lights over there." He told her over his shoulder.
"Kyle." Tess tried one last time. "You have to listen to me...please."
But Kyle was in his own little world. "Definitely lights." He seemed to talking to himself. "So let's go find these minions of Max's and get this over with."
"Kyle!" Tess practically yelled. He sighed heavily again.
"What Tess?"
"I think we need to get something straight once and for all." Tess told him.
"What?" Kyle asked sarcastically. "Oh wait, are you going to tell me that I should call you your highness now? How rude of me." He sneered at her. Tess blinked. She wondered why he was so good at making her want to kiss him and hit him at the same time.
"Can you just shut up?" She asked him quietly. "You wanted to talk, so let's talk."
"I changed my mind." Kyle snapped. "The last thing I want to do is to hear you tell me what I already know. Let's just go."
Tess closed her eyes briefly. He was completely unreasonable. In situations such as these, there was only one thing to do...
"Fine. If you don't want to talk, we won't talk." Tess told him. She marched over to him, saw his eyes beginning to widen. "I don't think words will convince you anyway."
She frowned when she realized that he had started to back up. "Stop. Stay right there." She ordered.
"What are you doing?" Kyle asked, his voice sounding a little squeaky.
She glared at him. "If you won't listen to me, then I'm going to have to show you aren't I?"
"Show me what?"
"What a complete and utter moron you are." Tess replied, smiling despite herself. He just stared at her as she stopped about a foot away from him. "I really don't think you're ready for this Kyle Valenti, but I can't think of any other way to make you stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"Tess..." Tess ignored him, reached up, ran her hand down his face. He was staring at her, his expression actually frightened.
"Can't you ever just act Kyle?" Tess whispered, bringing her hand to the back of his neck, pulling his face down close to hers. "Kiss me. I'll show you exactly how stupid you are."
Kyle swallowed, frowned. She had taken his hand in hers, could feel his pulse beating at a mile a minute. "I can't do it." He whispered. "I can't do it first Tess."
She arched an eyebrow at him, could not believe that they were actually finally in this position. She understood how he felt.
By taking the next step, there was no turning back. Once and for all, they would be laying their cards on the table. There would be no more stupid games.
She bit her lip, stared into his eyes. This was right. She knew it was.
She loved him. He was the only one who liked her the way she was, was the only one who saw her as Tess, not as Sabrya, not as a pawn to be used.
"If you can't, its okay." She told him. "I've waited a long time for this. I've been a chicken long enough. I'm willing to go out on a limb here."
She could see that Kyle's blue eyes were shifting down to stare at her lips. He licked his own, swallowed again. "It's time to give up." She whispered. "I love you."
And with that, she brought her lips up to meet his.
**************************************************************
*Dreams* Isabel
"Are you all right Miri?" Tristandor's hand was gripping mine tightly. The transport had stopped. I could feel thousands of eyes on us, watching, waiting. "There's still time to turn back. We don't have to do this you know."
I stared at him. I could see that he wasn't frightened at all. But that was my Tris. He was the bravest person I knew, even more so than Jax. Tris had had to turn his back on his entire people to be with me. The least I could do was go through this for him.
And it wasn't just for him. It was for our entire planet. If the Judgment went off without a hitch, everyone would see that uniting the Illyrians and the Dernians was what was meant to be.
"I'm fine." I smiled weakly. "Let's just get it over with. It's not like anything is going to happen anyway. We know this is right."
Tris brought my hand up to his lips, kissed my knuckle. "It is more than right. It is destiny."
He helped me down. I could see Jaxon nearby. He was standing with his arms folded, our mother and step-father beside him. His lips were pressed together tightly. He was glowering. I knew it was only a ruse to hide his fear.
He didn't want us to do this. He said that it wasn't necessary, that he would find another way to appease Danala...
It was another reason that this had to work. Jax could not be left alone. He needed us. Surely the powers that controlled the Ring would see this?
"You should go talk to him." Tris told me quietly.
I shook my head quickly. "Let's just get this over with." I insisted. My eyes met Jaxon's across the short distance between our transports. His face twitched, but he had managed to tame it into an expression of bland indifference.
He was my king. He was my beloved brother. We had to do this for him - to keep his throne safe.
"Is she here?" I asked as Tristandor and I stepped through two of the standing stones into the Ring proper. I was clutching the green orb in my sweaty palm, my other hand still firmly clenched in my husband's.
"I don't care." Tris replied. "I'm sure she's over there somewhere."
"Tris, she has to see it or it won't have the same effect." I told him gently.
He was quiet for a moment. I could feel the eyes of the Dernians on the far side of the Ring. They were, of course, outside the stones, but they were there. "She's there." He finally told me. "I think Sabrya is there too."
"You can go see her first Tris." I knew how much my husband missed his younger sister. She was the one person who could have made him go back to Dernia, but she had never asked that of him, knew that it would be like cutting off his right arm.
Tristandor might have been born Dernian, but in spirit he was all Illyrian. Always had been. His emotions were never far below the surface, whether joy, anger, annoyance, love...
It was one of the many reasons I adored him.
"It's all right. If all goes according to plan, I'll see her soon enough." He told me.
We had reached the centre of the Ring. I could feel my heart thundering in my chest. I wasn't really nervous, I knew that Tristandor and I were meant to be...
And yet, standing in the exact spot where thousands of traitors, criminals and evil-doers had been incinerated...well, I wasn't exactly comfortable either.
I took a deep breath, turned to my young husband, gazing up at him for what might be the last time. He was staring down at me, his dark eyes gleaming with love. "You are my heart." He told me.
"You are my soul." I replied. It was how we always told each other that we loved each other. Jaxon often rolled his eyes when he heard it, but I had also seen him smile on occasion. He was happy for us, although my brother had never understood the way I felt about Tristandor. He didn't really believe in love, my brother.
I wondered if that would ever change.
At the thought of Jaxon, I sent my love to him, hoped that he knew that in these last moments, my thoughts were of him.
I squeezed Tris's hand, kissed him gently on the lips and closed my eyes.
I waited for judgment to be passed.
**********************************************************
Salisbury, England
Isabel gasped, sitting up in the bed, the sheets clutched to her heaving chest. She was covered in perspiration.
The dreams wouldn't stop.
Ever since she had set foot in England again, every time she closed her eyes, they came.
And they were all about Michael.
She brought her hands up to her face, tried to compose herself. Several moments later, she glanced at the clock. It was after three a.m.
She was amazed that she had managed to fall asleep at all. She had been tossing and turning for hours.
After Max, Tess and Kyle had disappeared through the portal, Michael and Isabel had stared at each other across the stone circle.
Isabel's own horror had been etched on Michael's face. She knew that he had seen them at the last minute too. Kyle's tackle had surprised Tess enough to make her drop the warp.
But by the time Isabel had managed to gather her wits, they were all gone.
Her brother was gone. Again.
"Idiot! Why is he always such a bloody idiot?" Michael's yell of rage had broken the silence that had fallen over Stonehenge. It was enough. Isabel had collapsed in tears where she stood.
Michael had been at her side a moment later, pulling her into his embrace. "We'll find a way to get there Izzy. I promise." His anger seemed to have drained away quickly. But then that was Michael, quick to anger, just as quick to let it go.
They hadn't even known what to tell the Sheriff. When he had shown up, he had just stared at them dumb-founded as they had recounted what had happened.
"What the hell was Kyle thinking?" Valenti had asked when they were through. He had been clenching his hands tightly at his sides. Isabel could see that he was trying to supress his fear for his son, which had reinforced to Isabel that losing it was not going to help them help her stubborn brother and stupid friends.
They had checked into a hotel in Salisbury, had called Roswell to see if any progress had been made on finding another way to open the portal.
They hadn't found anything.
Isabel had talked very briefly to Alex. She had just needed to hear his voice. He was the only one who could calm her down. She had wished that he was there so that she could collapse into his arms, sob out her fear.
Now, sitting up in bed, staring out the window at the star-pocked sky, she felt the longing for Alex even more strongly. She needed him with her. If he was there, these stupid dreams would not be happening.
She loved Alex. He was the one who understood her, he was the one she wanted.
No matter what her dreams said.
And even if he had sounded a little weird on the phone - sort of distant and stiff. Totally unlike himself.
He had almost sounded like he wanted to tell her something, but was refraining.
"Is something wrong Alex?" She had finally asked.
"Wrong? What do you mean wrong? Other than the fact that we have fifty thousand alien books to go? No, what could be wrong?" Alex had demanded.
Isabel had blinked on her end of the phone. "Er - okay then. You just sound kind of odd."
There had been a short pause. "Just tired I guess. How are you sleeping by the way?" Isabel had frowned slightly at the quick change of topic, but she had let it go. Alex likely wasn't acting strange at all. They were all totally on edge. She was sure that she sounded like a lunatic too.
It hadn't helped that she hadn't told Alex about her original dream, that she hadn't talked to anyone. Keeping a secret like this from Alex was probably making her paranoid, making her think that HE was keeping secrets from her too.
And she had just had another stupid dream.
She was beginning to realize that these were more than dreams though. They were almost like memories. She was living these vignettes - in them, she WAS Princess Mirana of Illyria again.
And when she woke up, there was only one person she wanted to talk to.
It wasn't Alex Whitman.
Isabel pressed her lips together, thought about Michael.
She knew that he had had that first dream right along with her. He had never said as much, but the look on his face when they had both woken simultaneously in the van had made it clear. Didn't it seem likely then that he would have shared this latest vision too?
She and Michael had bickered all day, had tried to hide from it, but it couldn't be avoided any longer.
It had to be dealt with so that they could move on. She was no longer Mirana, he was no longer Tristandor, but if they remembered being them, it had to be dealt with.
Because one thing was becoming abundantly clear. Her marriage to Michael in their past lives had been a love match.
Isabel climbed out of her bed, padded across the carpeted floor to the door that separated her room from the one shared by the Sheriff and Michael. She knocked lightly.
Michael opened it almost immediately. His hair was standing more on end than usual. He looked exhausted. But the look on his face told Isabel that he had been expecting her.
"Come in here." She told him quietly.
Michael just stared at her for a moment, but finally complied, shutting the door behind him quietly. He raked his hands through his hair, stood defensively.
So he had definitely had the dream again too.
"Michael..."
"What the hell is going on Isabel? Are you doing this to me?" Michael demanded suddenly, cutting her off. "Because it's really low. You're giving me the heebie-jeebies. You're like my sister for Christ's sake. Didn't we have enough of this crap with Tess a couple of years ago?"
"What?" Isabel screeched despite herself. Trust Michael to thrust all the blame on her. "Excuse me Mr. Arrogant! Do I have to remind you that I love Alex? Why on Earth would I be doing this?"
"I don't know Isabel. But it seems awfully convenient that this is happening when we happen to be almost alone together." She could hear the slight trace of fear in his voice. He didn't want to deal with this almost as much as SHE didn't want to deal with this. Blaming her clearly made it easier. Because at least then there would be an explanation.
"Michael, get over yourself." Isabel snapped back. "We have to figure out where the heck these dreams are coming from. And why are they coming now?"
Michael sighed heavily, flopped back on her bed, his eyes closed. "We don't have time for this." He said wearily.
"Don't you think I know that?" Isabel asked, sitting down carefully beside him. "And I don't want to deal with it Michael. But there has to be a reason that we're remembering all of this now."
Michael opened one eye, glared at her. "What do you mean remembering?"
"Michael, these aren't ordinary dreams." Isabel insisted. "Or nightmares even. I feel like I'm living those moments."
Michael sat up abruptly. "Are you saying that we're reliving our lives as Tristandor and Mirana?"
"I think so." Isabel replied, watching him carefully for his reaction.
"Well, we're just going to have to stop." Michael stood up, pacing. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to Maria that when I go to sleep I'm suddenly married to YOU?" He stopped, stared at her. "She's going to kill me Iz. I can't be the cause of more pain for that girl. She's got enough to deal with."
Isabel stood up, put her hand on his arm. He jerked his arm away quickly. Isabel felt sad, wondered why. "Alex and Maria don't even have to know about this Michael. We'll make it stop - somehow."
Michael's features were shadowed in the dark room and yet Isabel could feel his dark eyes burning into her.
Her Tris.
She shook her head quickly, horrified. Good grief! Now she was losing control of herself when she was AWAKE!
Isabel felt rather than saw Michael shudder. "I'm going to call Maria. Right now. I suggest you call Whitman - fast."
"That sounds like a good idea." Isabel squeaked.
He was gone a moment later.
She was completely unsurprised when her heart ached, missing him already.
The Waylandian Ring, Illyria
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto." Kyle said.
Max rolled his eyes mentally, but kept his face completely impassive. He knew that Kyle was totally freaked, could tell by the tone of his voice. If making dumb comments was going to help him get through the next five minutes without totally screwing everything up, well, then Max wouldn't stop him.
The Dernian guards were still staring at them, their weapons primed and ready to fire. And yet, they didn't move.
"What do we do now Max?" Tess whispered. All three of them were kneeling motionless, their eyes glued on the guards. For some reason Tess seemed incapable of mind-warping them at the moment. Max heard Kyle snort, didn't bother to look at him.
It wasn't his problem at the moment that Kyle Valenti could not seem to get his narrow little mind around the fact that Tess did NOT love him, Max. This was no time for his ridiculous jealousy issues.
"Why are they just standing there?" Tess continued, her voice still low. "I'm not warping them. They can see us. Max, what's going on?"
Max stared at the guards's faces, one after the other, trying to get a read on what was going on in their heads. Their faces were blank as was always the case with Dernians.
And suddenly he saw a flicker cross one of the guard's faces. He was very young, likely no older than Ren - but then age on Illyria was all relative. He could be fifty years old and not look a day over eighteen.
"All hail Jaxon, King of Illyria!" The young guard suddenly yelled, dropping to his knees. Max blinked. He heard Kyle snort again.
"Well, this is just peachy." The Sheriff's son muttered.
While all the other guards paused momentarily, they quickly joined their comrade on his knees.
"Max! What are they doing?" Tess squealed. She was beginning to sound hysterical.
"They think Max is still their king." Kyle replied for him, sounding annoyed. "Typical."
"I don't think Tarsus ever gave them orders otherwise." Max added, feeling amazed that the shapeshifter could have made such a strategic error. "I mean, I was TECHNICALLY their leader before I went back to Earth."
Yes, technically he had been, although Tarsus had really been running the show. It had all been a farce. Max had never willingly been on their side, he had been brainwashed. He shuddered, remembering how awful not having his real memories had been. He had been in such turmoil, hating all those he loved most, not even really REMEMBERING Liz.
But she had taken care of that pretty quickly. The minute he had been around her again he had started to remember who he was.
Liz Parker was his anchor - in every world he had ever existed on. Which was why he had to find her, immediately if not sooner.
And, thank the good Lord, apparently these guards had never been informed of the fact that he wasn't their leader anymore.
Max stood slowly, reached down and helped Tess to her feet. His head was absolutely killing him from the journey through the portal. He quickly brought his hands to his temples, eased a light healing force through his mind.
"Er - just give me a moment." Max told the Dernians. They all seemed sort of in awe. He just hoped he could keep them from contacting Tarsus for a while.
"This is the best luck we've had all day." Max told Tess and Kyle quietly. He could see that Kyle had his lips pressed together tightly, lines around his eyes showing that his head was beginning to pound too. "You guys need to get out of here." He reached out, gently touched Tess's hair, searching for the headache he knew was there, easing the tension in her brain.
He saw Kyle's eyes narrow. "Don't even think about it." He snapped when Max made a move towards him. Max sighed, dropped his hand.
"Max! We're not leaving you." Tess insisted. Max smiled at her. Who knew that she would so quickly become his greatest ally, closest companion? He was going to miss her. They had worked well together in the hours leading up to opening the portal.
But Liz, as always, had to come first. And he needed Tess for something more important.
"They're going to take me straight to Liz." He told her gently. "I have to go. But we can't all be captured. You need to go find the Illyrians Tess. They have to be out there somewhere. The minute Tarsus sees me, he's going to lock me up - but if I can play this out long enough, I might be able to see Liz first. It's going to be up to you and Kyle to rally the troops." He paused, stared at her intently. "Tess, as far as they're concerned, at this time, you are their queen. You can do it."
"But how are you going to get Liz out of the Citadel?" Tess demanded, still sounding like she wasn't at all happy with this plan.
"I'll find a way." Max replied. "The first thing we need to do is take back the Ring. The entire planet is off balance with it under occupation."
"How do you know all this?" Kyle asked, sounding suspicious.
"I just KNOW." Max replied, surprised to realize that this was true. The minute he had stepped through the portal he had felt like he was coming home in a way. All the memories of his last time here came rushing back, reinforcing his feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Great." Kyle shook his head. "And that's supposed to be enough? What about Michael and Isabel? They're going to be freaking."
Max's eyes narrowed. "They were trying to stop me. Let them wait." He snapped.
"And that just proves once and for all that you DON'T know what you're talking about oh mighty one." Kyle was practically yelling. He flinched suddenly, bringing his hands up to massage his temples. "They did believe you. They were trying to stop you so that you could all go together."
Max heard Tess's sharp intake of breath. "Oh no!"
Max felt his guilt hit him with its usual force. He pushed it aside for the moment. "Well, I'm sorry about that." He finally replied quietly. "I didn't know. But its too late for regrets now. I'll make it up to them later."
"You really are a king aren't you." Kyle sounded disgusted. "Its always about you and what YOU want. Don't you even care that our best friends are stranded on Earth with no way to help us?"
"Of course I care." Max snapped again. "But Liz is all that matters right now. She's in the hands of a lunatic shapeshifter. At least they're safe. That has to be enough for the moment."
"It is." Tess nodded resolutely, glaring at Kyle. "There's nothing we can do about it, we didn't know. I'll find our people Max. We'll be ready to help you."
Kyle sighed heavily, thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Whatever." He finally muttered, sounding defeated. "It's not like anyone ever cares what I think anyway."
Max felt another pang of guilt, quickly suppressed it. Tess would deal with Kyle when they were alone he was sure. He reached out, hugged her quickly. "Be careful."
He could hear Kyle starting to complain as he walked away, towards the guards. "Can I ask how we're supposed to find these people?" He was saying to Tess.
Max approached the guards. "Who am I addressing?" He demanded, trying to make his voice sound as commanding as possible. He sort of felt ridiculous, but this was no time to be shy.
"I am Jaxon your highness." The youngest guard stepped forward. Max felt his eyes widen.
"Er, pardon me?" The guard looked proud, an emotion that should NOT have been on his face if he had been podded.
"I was named for you." He admitted.
"Right." Max could feel his face reddening. Would things ever stop being so weird? "Where is Tarsus?" He asked, deciding to get right to the point.
"At the Citadel." Young Jaxon replied. "Balthor has contacted him." He indicated another guard who stood nearby.
Max swallowed. So much for trying to not let Tarsus know that he was there. "What did he say?"
"He said to bring you to the Citadel, that you would speak to each other there."
Max sighed. "Very well. Lead on."
He followed two of the guards towards a nearby transport.
His mind was focused on one thought and one thought alone.
What was he going to do to make Tarsus let him see Liz?
He suddenly felt very alone.
Part 14
Why am I lonely?
You're sitting right here.
Why am I talking?
It's like I'm talking to the air.
What am I looking for that just isn't there?
Why am I angry
And how'd it get so bad?
Why am I missing what we never really had?
Why don't you love me the way I love you?
Why don't you feel things as deep as I do?
We've got a fundamental difference
In matters of emotion,
But I need to feel you need me
Like a river needs an ocean,
Baby, why don't you love me?
Who am I kidding baby?
It wasn't meant to be.
But you wanted a believer
And I needed to believe.
For every wall you built around you
I learnt a brand-new way to climb.
If I could have been your angel
I would have found a way to fly.
Why don't you love me the way I love you?
Why don't you feel things as deep as I do?
We've got a fundamental difference
In matters of emotion,
But I need to feel you need me
Like a river needs and ocean,
Baby, why don't you love me?
Amanda Marshall
"Where the hell are we going?" Kyle demanded a few minutes after they had left Max behind.
Tess had taken off across the grass-covered plain in which the stone circle sat at a fast pace. She had no idea where she was going but she knew that they needed to put as much distance between them and the Ring as they could. "We're going to walk until we find something familiar." She replied.
She was still adjusting to the fact that Kyle was really there. She was angry and confused by the fact.
The whole point of this trip had been to protect Kyle, not to bring him right into the thick of the danger. How had this happened?
To top it all off she was worried about Max. He was walking willingly into the hands of their enemy. The last time he had done that it had ended disastrously. And she had let him do it.
But somehow she had known that it was the right thing to do. Max needed to deal with the situation on his own - at least for the moment. In the end, this was all about Tarsus and Max and the twisted relationship that existed between them. Why else would Tarsus have taken Liz?
Tess couldn't even begin to understand Tarsus's motives. After all, his leader, Danala, was long dead. What did he hope to accomplish by continuing this conflict? She and Michael were the only members of the Dernian ruling family still alive and they were firmly entrenched on the Illyrian side. The Dernian position seemed hopeless.
And yet they were winning. Holding the Citadel AND the Ring meant nothing less.
"Can we stop for a minute?" Kyle said what seemed like forever later. He had been trudging along behind her. Tess had been doing her best to try and ignore his misery. He was huddled in his letterman's jacket, clearly freezing. He had also not allowed Max to heal his portal-imposed head-ache.
But they needed to keep going. They had to find help before the sun set. It was hanging low in the yellow sky at the moment, almost at the horizon of the yellow waving grass which seemed to stretch on forever.
It was all so strange and yet so familiar. Tess was not having memories exactly but she KNEW this place. It wasn't home, and yet it was.
"Just a little further." Tess replied.
She heard Kyle sigh heavily. She didn't look at him, didn't want to see how much he was hurting. There was nothing she could do and she had to get him to safety. They had to find the Illyrians. Max was sure that his people were out here somewhere. She would find them, rally them, take them to help Max regain the Citadel.
"Tess." Tess realized that Kyle's voice suddenly seemed kind of distant. She turned, saw that he was standing about fifty feet away from, had clearly stopped walking.
"Kyle, c'mon. We're not safe out in the open. We need to find..."
"Who Tess? There's no one! We're not safe anywhere." Kyle replied, sounding highly irritated. "We need to talk. Now."
Tess looked at his face. He was staring at her steadily, his eyes blazing with what seemed to be a combination of anger and hurt. Her stomach clenched.
"Kyle, you need to pull yourself together here." Tess told him, wincing at how cold her voice sounded. "I know this is weird for you, but we HAVE to help Max. We don't have time for this right now."
Kyle's eyes flickered. "It's not as weird as you might think." He finally muttered. He started walking again, his head down. "I've had dreams like this you know. Being alone with you. But we're never really alone are we?"
Tess watched him pass her, her eyes wide. "I don't understand." But she did. He was talking about Max - again.
Kyle stopped abruptly again. "You're not the only one. I don't get you at all Tess." He turned around, stared at her again. "Why did you even write that note to Michael? Coming here has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about Max, just like it always is. Isn't it?" He demanded.
Tess swallowed. "No." She whispered. She couldn't put this off any longer. She didn't WANT to. They had to resolve this.
But Kyle wasn't listening. He had apparently been storing this up for a long time and now that the floodgates were opened, there was no stopping him. "Why did you even come to the prom in the first place? I was doing fine until you decided to show up, looking all gorgeous and sexy. I was okay, I was getting over it. I had a girlfriend for God's sake! Do you know I dumped Vicky the day after the prom? What kind of bastard does that make me? A stupid one that's for sure. I can't do it again Tess. I can't get over you AGAIN. And really, what is there to get over? I mean its not like we've even kissed...which makes me an even bigger idiot." His voice was lowering. He suddenly sounded incredibly weary. He shook his head, stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I don't even know how the hell I ended up here. How stupid was I, following you to England? You had what you wanted - Max Evans needing you."
"No." Tess said again, more firmly this time. She could not believe the pain she had put him through.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. She had known. She just had not had the courage to deal with it. And then when she had finally worked up the strength, at the prom, they had been interrupted again.
And now it seemed to be too late. Kyle was certainly in no mood to listen to her. She didn't even think that he would believe her if she told him that it was him she loved. He had convinced himself so completely that she wanted to be with Max, how could they ever get past this?
"Just forget it." Kyle continued. "Let's just go. The sooner we deal with this, the sooner I can get off this rock." He started to walk off. "I think I see lights over there." He told her over his shoulder.
"Kyle." Tess tried one last time. "You have to listen to me...please."
But Kyle was in his own little world. "Definitely lights." He seemed to talking to himself. "So let's go find these minions of Max's and get this over with."
"Kyle!" Tess practically yelled. He sighed heavily again.
"What Tess?"
"I think we need to get something straight once and for all." Tess told him.
"What?" Kyle asked sarcastically. "Oh wait, are you going to tell me that I should call you your highness now? How rude of me." He sneered at her. Tess blinked. She wondered why he was so good at making her want to kiss him and hit him at the same time.
"Can you just shut up?" She asked him quietly. "You wanted to talk, so let's talk."
"I changed my mind." Kyle snapped. "The last thing I want to do is to hear you tell me what I already know. Let's just go."
Tess closed her eyes briefly. He was completely unreasonable. In situations such as these, there was only one thing to do...
"Fine. If you don't want to talk, we won't talk." Tess told him. She marched over to him, saw his eyes beginning to widen. "I don't think words will convince you anyway."
She frowned when she realized that he had started to back up. "Stop. Stay right there." She ordered.
"What are you doing?" Kyle asked, his voice sounding a little squeaky.
She glared at him. "If you won't listen to me, then I'm going to have to show you aren't I?"
"Show me what?"
"What a complete and utter moron you are." Tess replied, smiling despite herself. He just stared at her as she stopped about a foot away from him. "I really don't think you're ready for this Kyle Valenti, but I can't think of any other way to make you stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"Tess..." Tess ignored him, reached up, ran her hand down his face. He was staring at her, his expression actually frightened.
"Can't you ever just act Kyle?" Tess whispered, bringing her hand to the back of his neck, pulling his face down close to hers. "Kiss me. I'll show you exactly how stupid you are."
Kyle swallowed, frowned. She had taken his hand in hers, could feel his pulse beating at a mile a minute. "I can't do it." He whispered. "I can't do it first Tess."
She arched an eyebrow at him, could not believe that they were actually finally in this position. She understood how he felt.
By taking the next step, there was no turning back. Once and for all, they would be laying their cards on the table. There would be no more stupid games.
She bit her lip, stared into his eyes. This was right. She knew it was.
She loved him. He was the only one who liked her the way she was, was the only one who saw her as Tess, not as Sabrya, not as a pawn to be used.
"If you can't, its okay." She told him. "I've waited a long time for this. I've been a chicken long enough. I'm willing to go out on a limb here."
She could see that Kyle's blue eyes were shifting down to stare at her lips. He licked his own, swallowed again. "It's time to give up." She whispered. "I love you."
And with that, she brought her lips up to meet his.
**************************************************************
*Dreams* Isabel
"Are you all right Miri?" Tristandor's hand was gripping mine tightly. The transport had stopped. I could feel thousands of eyes on us, watching, waiting. "There's still time to turn back. We don't have to do this you know."
I stared at him. I could see that he wasn't frightened at all. But that was my Tris. He was the bravest person I knew, even more so than Jax. Tris had had to turn his back on his entire people to be with me. The least I could do was go through this for him.
And it wasn't just for him. It was for our entire planet. If the Judgment went off without a hitch, everyone would see that uniting the Illyrians and the Dernians was what was meant to be.
"I'm fine." I smiled weakly. "Let's just get it over with. It's not like anything is going to happen anyway. We know this is right."
Tris brought my hand up to his lips, kissed my knuckle. "It is more than right. It is destiny."
He helped me down. I could see Jaxon nearby. He was standing with his arms folded, our mother and step-father beside him. His lips were pressed together tightly. He was glowering. I knew it was only a ruse to hide his fear.
He didn't want us to do this. He said that it wasn't necessary, that he would find another way to appease Danala...
It was another reason that this had to work. Jax could not be left alone. He needed us. Surely the powers that controlled the Ring would see this?
"You should go talk to him." Tris told me quietly.
I shook my head quickly. "Let's just get this over with." I insisted. My eyes met Jaxon's across the short distance between our transports. His face twitched, but he had managed to tame it into an expression of bland indifference.
He was my king. He was my beloved brother. We had to do this for him - to keep his throne safe.
"Is she here?" I asked as Tristandor and I stepped through two of the standing stones into the Ring proper. I was clutching the green orb in my sweaty palm, my other hand still firmly clenched in my husband's.
"I don't care." Tris replied. "I'm sure she's over there somewhere."
"Tris, she has to see it or it won't have the same effect." I told him gently.
He was quiet for a moment. I could feel the eyes of the Dernians on the far side of the Ring. They were, of course, outside the stones, but they were there. "She's there." He finally told me. "I think Sabrya is there too."
"You can go see her first Tris." I knew how much my husband missed his younger sister. She was the one person who could have made him go back to Dernia, but she had never asked that of him, knew that it would be like cutting off his right arm.
Tristandor might have been born Dernian, but in spirit he was all Illyrian. Always had been. His emotions were never far below the surface, whether joy, anger, annoyance, love...
It was one of the many reasons I adored him.
"It's all right. If all goes according to plan, I'll see her soon enough." He told me.
We had reached the centre of the Ring. I could feel my heart thundering in my chest. I wasn't really nervous, I knew that Tristandor and I were meant to be...
And yet, standing in the exact spot where thousands of traitors, criminals and evil-doers had been incinerated...well, I wasn't exactly comfortable either.
I took a deep breath, turned to my young husband, gazing up at him for what might be the last time. He was staring down at me, his dark eyes gleaming with love. "You are my heart." He told me.
"You are my soul." I replied. It was how we always told each other that we loved each other. Jaxon often rolled his eyes when he heard it, but I had also seen him smile on occasion. He was happy for us, although my brother had never understood the way I felt about Tristandor. He didn't really believe in love, my brother.
I wondered if that would ever change.
At the thought of Jaxon, I sent my love to him, hoped that he knew that in these last moments, my thoughts were of him.
I squeezed Tris's hand, kissed him gently on the lips and closed my eyes.
I waited for judgment to be passed.
**********************************************************
Salisbury, England
Isabel gasped, sitting up in the bed, the sheets clutched to her heaving chest. She was covered in perspiration.
The dreams wouldn't stop.
Ever since she had set foot in England again, every time she closed her eyes, they came.
And they were all about Michael.
She brought her hands up to her face, tried to compose herself. Several moments later, she glanced at the clock. It was after three a.m.
She was amazed that she had managed to fall asleep at all. She had been tossing and turning for hours.
After Max, Tess and Kyle had disappeared through the portal, Michael and Isabel had stared at each other across the stone circle.
Isabel's own horror had been etched on Michael's face. She knew that he had seen them at the last minute too. Kyle's tackle had surprised Tess enough to make her drop the warp.
But by the time Isabel had managed to gather her wits, they were all gone.
Her brother was gone. Again.
"Idiot! Why is he always such a bloody idiot?" Michael's yell of rage had broken the silence that had fallen over Stonehenge. It was enough. Isabel had collapsed in tears where she stood.
Michael had been at her side a moment later, pulling her into his embrace. "We'll find a way to get there Izzy. I promise." His anger seemed to have drained away quickly. But then that was Michael, quick to anger, just as quick to let it go.
They hadn't even known what to tell the Sheriff. When he had shown up, he had just stared at them dumb-founded as they had recounted what had happened.
"What the hell was Kyle thinking?" Valenti had asked when they were through. He had been clenching his hands tightly at his sides. Isabel could see that he was trying to supress his fear for his son, which had reinforced to Isabel that losing it was not going to help them help her stubborn brother and stupid friends.
They had checked into a hotel in Salisbury, had called Roswell to see if any progress had been made on finding another way to open the portal.
They hadn't found anything.
Isabel had talked very briefly to Alex. She had just needed to hear his voice. He was the only one who could calm her down. She had wished that he was there so that she could collapse into his arms, sob out her fear.
Now, sitting up in bed, staring out the window at the star-pocked sky, she felt the longing for Alex even more strongly. She needed him with her. If he was there, these stupid dreams would not be happening.
She loved Alex. He was the one who understood her, he was the one she wanted.
No matter what her dreams said.
And even if he had sounded a little weird on the phone - sort of distant and stiff. Totally unlike himself.
He had almost sounded like he wanted to tell her something, but was refraining.
"Is something wrong Alex?" She had finally asked.
"Wrong? What do you mean wrong? Other than the fact that we have fifty thousand alien books to go? No, what could be wrong?" Alex had demanded.
Isabel had blinked on her end of the phone. "Er - okay then. You just sound kind of odd."
There had been a short pause. "Just tired I guess. How are you sleeping by the way?" Isabel had frowned slightly at the quick change of topic, but she had let it go. Alex likely wasn't acting strange at all. They were all totally on edge. She was sure that she sounded like a lunatic too.
It hadn't helped that she hadn't told Alex about her original dream, that she hadn't talked to anyone. Keeping a secret like this from Alex was probably making her paranoid, making her think that HE was keeping secrets from her too.
And she had just had another stupid dream.
She was beginning to realize that these were more than dreams though. They were almost like memories. She was living these vignettes - in them, she WAS Princess Mirana of Illyria again.
And when she woke up, there was only one person she wanted to talk to.
It wasn't Alex Whitman.
Isabel pressed her lips together, thought about Michael.
She knew that he had had that first dream right along with her. He had never said as much, but the look on his face when they had both woken simultaneously in the van had made it clear. Didn't it seem likely then that he would have shared this latest vision too?
She and Michael had bickered all day, had tried to hide from it, but it couldn't be avoided any longer.
It had to be dealt with so that they could move on. She was no longer Mirana, he was no longer Tristandor, but if they remembered being them, it had to be dealt with.
Because one thing was becoming abundantly clear. Her marriage to Michael in their past lives had been a love match.
Isabel climbed out of her bed, padded across the carpeted floor to the door that separated her room from the one shared by the Sheriff and Michael. She knocked lightly.
Michael opened it almost immediately. His hair was standing more on end than usual. He looked exhausted. But the look on his face told Isabel that he had been expecting her.
"Come in here." She told him quietly.
Michael just stared at her for a moment, but finally complied, shutting the door behind him quietly. He raked his hands through his hair, stood defensively.
So he had definitely had the dream again too.
"Michael..."
"What the hell is going on Isabel? Are you doing this to me?" Michael demanded suddenly, cutting her off. "Because it's really low. You're giving me the heebie-jeebies. You're like my sister for Christ's sake. Didn't we have enough of this crap with Tess a couple of years ago?"
"What?" Isabel screeched despite herself. Trust Michael to thrust all the blame on her. "Excuse me Mr. Arrogant! Do I have to remind you that I love Alex? Why on Earth would I be doing this?"
"I don't know Isabel. But it seems awfully convenient that this is happening when we happen to be almost alone together." She could hear the slight trace of fear in his voice. He didn't want to deal with this almost as much as SHE didn't want to deal with this. Blaming her clearly made it easier. Because at least then there would be an explanation.
"Michael, get over yourself." Isabel snapped back. "We have to figure out where the heck these dreams are coming from. And why are they coming now?"
Michael sighed heavily, flopped back on her bed, his eyes closed. "We don't have time for this." He said wearily.
"Don't you think I know that?" Isabel asked, sitting down carefully beside him. "And I don't want to deal with it Michael. But there has to be a reason that we're remembering all of this now."
Michael opened one eye, glared at her. "What do you mean remembering?"
"Michael, these aren't ordinary dreams." Isabel insisted. "Or nightmares even. I feel like I'm living those moments."
Michael sat up abruptly. "Are you saying that we're reliving our lives as Tristandor and Mirana?"
"I think so." Isabel replied, watching him carefully for his reaction.
"Well, we're just going to have to stop." Michael stood up, pacing. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to Maria that when I go to sleep I'm suddenly married to YOU?" He stopped, stared at her. "She's going to kill me Iz. I can't be the cause of more pain for that girl. She's got enough to deal with."
Isabel stood up, put her hand on his arm. He jerked his arm away quickly. Isabel felt sad, wondered why. "Alex and Maria don't even have to know about this Michael. We'll make it stop - somehow."
Michael's features were shadowed in the dark room and yet Isabel could feel his dark eyes burning into her.
Her Tris.
She shook her head quickly, horrified. Good grief! Now she was losing control of herself when she was AWAKE!
Isabel felt rather than saw Michael shudder. "I'm going to call Maria. Right now. I suggest you call Whitman - fast."
"That sounds like a good idea." Isabel squeaked.
He was gone a moment later.
She was completely unsurprised when her heart ached, missing him already.
