AN: Sorry if it has taken soooo long to update. But I've really been busy. I'm going to change school, study in another country in two months, and have had tons of interviews for jobs this summer, plenty of exams making you want to puke and also writers block with this chapter.

Behind The Shell There Is a Flower And a Man

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Chapter 6

"Her Shell"

Lily stretched out her legs as she leaned back against the comfortable armchair on the furniture. Her gaze followed the dance of the flaming and crackling fire, as its sparkles was thrown softly from the large fireplace. This was a quiet place, isolated and unknown for the rest of the world. She was sure that it was only she who was obvious of the small room at the end of the long corridor in the north tower, an insignificant room with only a fireplace, a lonely sofa on a crimson red soft carpet, and with a single window letting in the moonlight.

She was thinking, thinking about him. About what was to happen soon. She knew that he would be there.

Today had been a very unbarable day. Everywhere she went she met that grinning face, or serious face, or blushing face. Everywhere her eyes drew to was where he was, though there were always girls after girls giggling, chanting, laughing as they looked at him, probably thinking of him, talking about him, trying to get his attention. It was as if the whole world was screaming "James Potter, James Potter, look at him!" And she couldn't bare it! At one point during dinner it even felt like she was going to suffocate, that there wasn't enough air in the Great Hall. But she didn't say anything to Melissa, though she knew that she must feel even worse. So the only thing for her to do was to look at him from a distance, when he talked to Sirius, laughed, ate his soup, while a feeling she never in her life had felt grew deep inside her chest until it began to ring in her ears. Oh, how she truly despised him! And every time he smiled or talked to a girl who whispered something in his ear, giggling, she loathed him even more, swearing to herself that he wouldn't get away with it.

Melissa didn't deserve it, and no one did.

A smooth frustration crept from her feet up to her head, until the feeling of rage became tangible and almost melt together with the warmth of the yellow flames. What was so special about him? Why did everyone have to bend down to his feet? Even Sirius and Remus, the most popular boys in the fifth grade and perhaps all over the school together with seventh years and whoever else, have fallen in love with him! Looking at him in admiration, and it felt so, so, disgusting! Melissa had fell into this boy's trap, and wasn't able to come up. Because even though she didn't admit it, Lily could see the glances she gave James when she thought no one was looking, during every lesson, during supper, breakfast, and when he laughed. Especially when he laughed. Lily came to realise that Melissa actually had fallen in love with him, in spite of everything, but it was not only love, but also something else. A feeling interlaced with the other, so tight together that one couldn't distinguish them by. Impossible for the untrained eyes. But not for Lily. What Melissa also felt together with love.. was hate.

She sighed, her diary with her troubling thoughts laid still on her hands. The ink from her feather pencil stained black spots on the carpeted floor, but she was too far away from the presence to lay notice to that.

She kept thinking. Wondering. This was it. Every person has to do something important, something meaningful sometime. Someday everyone has to sacrifice themselves for a beloved one. And this was her time.

With one quick glance on the slurred image of the slowly vanishing flames in the fireplace, Lily rose up, putting her diary inside her jacket pocket, and opened the door. And with a determined face she walked along the corridor. It was time.

She had forgotten her feather pencil on the now dark room, but it didn't matter. It had at least served its purpose. Its last letters being written from very well solemn mind ("I Hate James Potter")

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"James!" Hagrid bellowed when seeing a gangly boy, dizzyingly coming towards him. He grinned toothily, waving a hand as he continued digging up the monstrous tiny Digdig, from a huge pile of dung. James walked distractedly towards his new found friend, kicking small stones on his way to the small cabin with a thin lace of smoke coming from the chimney above.

"Hi Hagrid!" James mumbled gloomily, grabbing the pair of yellow gloves that laid next to the oak tree, not even asking how his day had been. Politeness or not, Hagrid didn't mind, though barely knowing the kid he satisfied himself when only receiving a greeting

James wrinkled his nose, but didn't say anything, as he was about to dig his hand in the brown dung to dig out a yellow Digdig, much alike the sprawling one that Hagrid held by the feet, and put it in a fresher dung.

"Nasty little fellows", Hagrid commented, smiling foolishly at the sharp teeth that the Digdig showed before it buried itself in the dung. "But you can't help loving them, can you?"

James shook his head, smiling inwardly for a second, before he saw the pile of brownness that waited for him. He sighed.

"Hey, you sure that you're going to do this now?" Hagrid said with a quizzing face. James just looked at him, raising one eyebrow. Wasn't it James job to help Hagrid after school because of that little "incident" with the skeleton of Slytherin? "I mean, a- wait a minute- what are you even doing here?"

"What are you talking about, Hagrid?" James frowned, not having the slightest clue of what Hagrid was talking about. And he wasn't getting many hints to be precisely. "It's fine with me you know, if I'm not needed here"

James took of his gloves and let them fall down on the damp grass. Well, he didn't mean to be-well such a nitwit- but he didn't feel in a good mood this afternoon. Why? He didn't know. Perhaps it was because of what Serverus Snape had told him right after Potions. Or just because he felt tired.

But Hagrid didn't care. He didn't even notice James' rudeness. "James, haven't they told you? Or have you forgotten?" he said seriously, his typical accent suddenly gone." In about five minutes you're supposed to be in the Great Hall. Boy, they expect you to be there", he murmured.

James turned around, eyeing Hagrid behind his round glasses. "What do you mean " they" are expecting me?"

Hagrid looked troubled, while he bit his under lip. Perhaps he thought that he'd said too much. "You better go to the Great Hall, James." He looked at James worryingly. "I don't know what's going on, or what is to happen there, or what the prefects have planned exactly, but you better go there."

"Oh," James said, wrinkling his nose." It's that stupid prefect thing, isn't it?"

Hagrid nodded, throwing one Digdig of mistake in a green bucket filled with rose petals.

The boy sighed, lowering his shoulders." Well, better go there. If I must"

"Good Boy" Hagrid smiled toothily. "And don't worry, you already have them in your hands!"

James smiled faintly." Well, I sure don't hope so. Think what it would mean to my slowly growing good reputation if I suddenly become one of those prefects! Well, not that all of them are kind of weird." He smiled, feeling a blush creep to his cheeks. But he quickly turned his head so that Hagrid wouldn't notice.

Hagrid laughed, throwing another Digdig accidentally down in the green bucket again.

"Well, See you later, Hagrid"

But the half Giant didn't longer pay attention, though he suddenly became aware of the crying tiny yellow monsters in the green bucket.

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Her pace quickened through the hollow corridors. From a distant laughed a couple of fresh years, their voices echoed between the walls. Her lips trembled and her body quivered. There was no escape. She had to do it. It had to be almost a million thoughts that at that instant whirled in her head like a soup of several emotions, everyone with different tastes and senses. She could feel sweat run from her forehead, and down the slope of her nose. She dried it off with the sleeve of her grey coat. Her heart pounded against her ribs, and somehow she found it difficult to breath. Her pace quickened even more.

"Hey, Lily" someone suddenly shouted, making her heart take a leap. "Lily, wait!" It was Francesca. But she didn't stop to turn around, instead she hugged the grey coat around her tighter and bent her head, and mumbled words that coldly said "Sorry Francesca, don't have time" She continued walking down the corridor, and turned to the left, leaving the pretty girl dumbfounded behind.

, a voice echoed in her head.

She shook her head, it was too late. There was not turning back.

She didn't know how long time it had taken to get to the Great Hall, but suddenly the huge oak doors stood in front of her, closed. There were to torches on each side, casting flames and cracking softly in the empty hall with no one besides the red-haired girl, who had her eyes glued on the doorknobs of gold in front of her. It was time.

Dramatically she suddenly burst the doors opened and let the ocean of light inside the Hall flow out, as she continued holding on each side of the doors. Dreading to let go. But she had to. She did hear the gasps of the prefects on their chairs, and she did hear their chairs move as she fell down to the floor. Her heart throbbed maniacally, and tears begun to run along her blushing cheeks. At least she wasn't forced to let them run. Fortunately they came naturally. Someone shouted something, perhaps her name. And soon she felt someone take a grip of her arm and force her to sit up.

"Lily!" Arabella Figg shrieked, soon accompanied by two other prefects, Jason Hagg and Molly Fowl." Lily, what's wrong!? Talk to me!"

Lily blinked slowly, focusing on the two elbow round glasses looking down at her with much concern. "I'm alright Bella", she whispered between breaths." I- I- I just hope I'm not too late"

"Late for what?" Arabella continued shrieking, loosing her tight grip on Lily as the red-haired slowly sat up. "Are you feeling well? Look you're crying!"

Lily glanced at James, who stood in a distant, the whole time looking at her with a concern expression on his face. Quickly she turned her gaze to Arabella.

Arabella Figg followed her gaze. "The election?" She then wrinkled her nose, remembering what Lily had forgotten to do, which had been to tell James about it, but her face softened when she saw the pale face infront of her." You don't need to be here Lily. It's obvious that you don't feel very well."

"What is this, people!?" Snape suddenly burst out" The clock is ticking.. TICK, TACK, TICK, TACK"

"Shut your pie hole Serverus!" someone in the back, a ravenclaw prefect, shouted.

Jason, the seventh year boy with the hazel brown hair and dreamy eyes kneeled down and very much to Lily's surprise suddenly caressed Lily's hair. "What is it, Lily?" he whispered softly, and dried away a tear from Lily's cheek, making her forget what she was about to say. "You don't need to be here if you don't want to. Let us call for Madam Pomfrey."

Viggo Sigfried from Slytherin coughed loudly, while Snape snickered and laughed quietly behind the palm of his hand.

"N-no" she said tightly. "I can't", she gripped the left shoulder of Arabella while she slowly with shaking legs stood up, having the eyes of twelve prefects from the four different houses, Head boy and Head Girl, two candidates from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and James Potter follow her moves, as she took one step at a time along the threshold in the middle of the Great Hall. Jason, Molly and Arabella close behind.

"This can't happen. I- I Can't allow it to happen". She felt her courage grow while the faces before her became clearer. And with the stars from the jinxed sky joining her footsteps, she could almost touch her souls' pond of bravery.

"Allow what?" Arthur Weasley asked, standing up from his chair at the end of the row of the Gryffindor table. Soon followed by every other prefect. "What is it Lily?"

"Can WE PLEASE, ignore her and move on!!" Serverus implied impatiently, still sitting down. ("Shut your PIE HOLE Serverus, or do you want me to shut it for you!")

"What's happening here?" An elderly woman suddenly said, making everyone jump. Professor McGonagall walked past Lily and every other student until she reached the foot of the teachers table, with a folder in her hand. "Haven't you begun with the election?" Her eyes moved from one student to another, until she noticed Miss Evans and the teary green eyes. "What is going on here, pupils?"

Air ceased to exist, and time likewise. It was as if everyone had stopped breathing. Lily had at least stopped. Her eyes were suddenly darted on James, who looked at her with a lost expression on his face.

Her arm felt like a stiff log, as she slowly raised it, with her index finger pointing towards the boy with unruly raven black eyes, and dazzling dark eyes like the ebony black night on the enchanted sky above. "He is what's wrong."

Every single soul in the Great Hall turned their eyes to James Potter, who slowly became red from the nape of his neck to his face.

"He's what's been wrong the whole time" She still had her eyes on James, who opened and closed his mouth, unable to utter a single word.

"What are you talking about Miss Evans!?" Professor McGonagall interrupted severely, forcing Lily to look at her. "How can you say something like that!"

Suddenly Lily was lost. She looked from one face to another, until her eyes met James'. "I- I don't know how to explain it", she whispered, forgetting the whole scenario that she'd rehearsed in her head over and over again." He- He- He is not what he seems to be"

James Potter gasped loudly, making several heads turn to his direction. His face went from scarlet red to white pale.

"He- he has deceived you, every one of you. Making you think that he is something he's not." Lily's emerald green eyes were darted on him the whole time, as his face became paler and paler. Some of the students began to whisper, others looked curiously from Lily to James and back again. Professor McGonagall looked bewildered, not quite knowing what to say or do. "Lily, I don't think-"

"But his secret won't be saved with me" Lily ended, interrupting Professor McGonagall in the middle of her sentence.

"No, Lily! Please don't!" James suddenly burst out, breathing heavier." You don't know what you are talking about!"

There was a tense moment when James and Lily stared at each other, their eyes fighting with one another in a quiet struggle, while the others waited for the next line. Even Professor McGonagall.

"He has- has taken advantage of someone in this school!" she cried suddenly, the words running out of her mouth like water.

Everyone gasped at the same time. James backed away. Now looking more confused than he ever. But as her words slowly sank in his mind and he came to realise what she was talking about, his face became crimson red and his whole body trembled of rage. "What are you talking about?" He whispered." I haven't done anything like that, ever in my life. And would never do that"

Lily glanced at Professor McGonagall, who looked as choked as anyone else in the room. "I don't think that you know what you're saying Miss. Evans", Professor McGonagall breathed in, staring at James.

"I thought you knew me better, Lily" James said firmly right after Professor McGonagall's statement.

Lily suddenly lost her track, while James looked at her with eyes filled with confusion.and something else. Was it sadness, anger? But at the same time as she looked away, she found her courage. "Do I? Does anyone in this school know who you really are, James Potter?" she hissed. "Your face, your whole being, makes us wonder "who is he?"?

James held quiet, looking down.

"Don't sink lower, Potter", she spat, ignoring the clapping hands of Snape." I didn't want to say anything, but this isn't right! How can you be such a bastard and deny it!"

"Lily!" Lotta Partil shrieked, her eyes filled with love looking pleadingly at James "How can you say such things, you're just mad!"

"Because it's true, damm it!" she responded, filling the adrenaline run through her blood. .

"Oh, that's what you're saying", a Hufflepuff fifth year prefect said through gritted teeth. "But who is she, how do we know that what you're saying is true Lily? How can you even accuse someone like that, when you don't even have the slightest proof, tell me?"

Professor McGonagall looked at Lily." Now, let's take this calmly. Lily can of course have right", she glanced at James. "Or wrong. But this is something that we teachers should handle together with the parents of this girl, and James-"

"I know that I'm right!" Lily interrupted yet again, dreading of how Melissa would react if Professor McGonagall would come to her and tell her that she knows everything, and what she would say if her parents would be informed. Lily knew that Melissa didn't want anyone, absolutely anyone to know. "Because- because-"

She looked down at her feet, and swallowed the big lump in her throat. She dried quickly the single tear running along her cheek, and breathed in. It was time.

"Because what, Lily?" Arabella Figg, asked quietly and sadly.

She had to do it. There was no turning back.

Lily looked up, and looked directly into the eyes of James. "Because that girl is me"

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To be continue.

I really love your reviews! Thank you so much!!

I'm currently writing chapter 7.

Lots of hugs!! Claudia

Ps. Anyone interested in beta reading??