Chapter 5: Phoenix Rebirth (And some other Stuff)

James blinked sleepily in the dark. What time was it? He swiveled his head around, trying to figure out where he'd placed his glasses. He pushed aside the bed-curtains quietly. As he reached out his free hand to pick his glasses up off the nightstand, he felt a weight shift on his other arm. He put on his glasses and turned back warily.

Lily was still asleep, cuddled into his body. Her legs were still tangled with his, and her long red waves were tossed carelessly across the pillow and his arm, a crimson flood around her. Her lashes were thick and dark against the creaminess of her face, and her full lips pouted a bit as she mumbled softly in her sleep and cuddled closer. Instinctively, James wrapped an arm around her loosely, kissing the top of her head. Then the full realization of where he was and what had happened the night before dawned on him, and he froze.

Oh, Merlin. His mind raced as he tried to figure out what he should do next. We were fighting, I remember that…I accidentally called Lily a 'freak'…she was furious…and then…and then… His eyes took in the twisted state of the blankets and sheets, the clothes thrown haphazardly on the floor, the small dark marks that were forming all over Lily's neck, chest…James couldn't see any lower than that without moving, and he didn't have full control over his limbs yet. He reasoned, in shocked awareness, that there were probably marks like that all over her—and all over him, now that he really thought about it… He caught sight of the clock on the wall: it was nearly five-thirty in the morning. What should I do? What should I do? Oh, Merlin. What'll happen if she wakes up? When she wakes up? She won't be happy about this… He didn't want to confront Lily about this—at least, not unclothed, in bed! Without even thinking further, he began to slowly disentangle his legs from Lily's. Very carefully, he was able to extract himself from the mess of sheets. Lily scrunched up, as if trying to protect herself from the loss of heat once he was gone. James shivered, suddenly feeling rather cold himself, and thanked Merlin that Lily was a deep sleeper.

Swiftly gathering his clothes and pulling on his pants, James tossed Lily's clothes over the back of a chair. He turned to get one last look at Lily—her childlike sleeping face, the glorious red hair tumbling around her. He went back and tucked the blanket up around her naked shoulders before turning toward the door and padding softly out towards his own room.

As James's footsteps retreated along the stairway and back into the lounge, Lily's eyes snapped open. The look in their brilliant green depths was confused, and she shivered a bit at the coolness of the sheets without another body to keep them warm. She pulled the blankets all the way up to her chin, brow furrowed. She didn't know what would happen when she had to see James again the next day—but preferred not to think about it. Her eyes drifted closed, and a small smile quirked her lips at some memory from the previous night.

It was rather late in the morning when Lily woke up; she stretched, sitting up in bed, and felt strangely sore. It all came rushing back to her then—the events of the previous evening and night. A small frown creased her forehead as she sat and wondered what she would do when she saw James that day. Deciding not to think about that until the time came, she crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a long, relaxing bath.

Smelling faintly of lilac, Lily emerged from her room a good half-hour later, her hair still slightly damp. Shuffling slowly down the stairs and being extremely grateful that it was the weekend, she realized that she was really hungry. Small wonder, she thought wryly, as she and James had both skipped dinner last night—and she'd most likely missed breakfast. Opting to go quickly down to the kitchens and get food directly from the house-elves, she left her hair hanging loose and grabbed her wand before heading out the portrait-hole.

Arriving at the portrait of the bowl of fruit and tickling the pear, Lily smiled as she remembered the first time she'd ever come to the kitchens. It had been with James, on one of their "dates"…they'd come late at night under his invisibility cloak, stopping at random intervals to kiss—shy, lingering kisses, both of them a bit unsure of the other's feelings. They had tiptoed around each other back then, Lily recalled, with a dreamy smile, which changed to a bit of a scowl when she decided that if she wanted to continue the analogy, they now stomped rather than tiptoed. It had been a long time since they had actually been considerate of one another.

The portrait swung open and Lily was greeted with the usual squeaky voices of the house-elves, who at once rushed to welcome her back to the kitchens. It wasn't the house-elves that made her stop and stand, jaw hanging loose, apprehension registering across her features, however. It was James.

It seemed James had slept in and missed breakfast as well—or else he was just really hungry again—and he was already sitting at a small table in the corner of the vast kitchens, a sumptuous feast spread before him. The table fairly groaned under the weight of all those dishes, and the pleasant aroma of buttery toast and several delectable treats was emanating from that general direction. The elves, who always seemed to know more than they let on, ushered Lily over to the table, where another chair was pulled up for her. "Lily Potter eats with James Potter," they squeaked. Lily wondered faintly how they knew that she was married while so many of the students didn't, but it wasn't a very important question and left her head as soon as her mind voiced it. Sitting down primly and spreading a napkin across her lap, Lily began to silently help herself to some of the dishes. James, who had been reading a copy of the Daily Prophet before she'd entered, turned back to his newspaper after shooting her several wary glances. A dull red color burned in his cheeks and his lip twitched a bit, as though he were trying not to smile, Lily noticed, as his eyes traveled along the neckline of her robes. She looked down and noticed that there were several—er—marks along her neck, and tugged at her neckline in a futile attempt to hide them, feeling her own face flushing in answer. She noted that James was wearing a turtleneck sweater underneath his robes and sweating slightly—it was sweltering in the kitchens—and barely hid her smug smile.

Neither of them spoke; they merely sat and ate in silence, which was slightly charged but not nearly as hostile as the silences that ensued when they ignored each other during quarrels. Lily finished choking down some food as fast as she could, sipped her pumpkin juice, wiped her mouth quickly, and voiced her intention of going back to her room to do some correcting. She was speaking more to the house-elves than to James, but she did direct her voice somewhat in his direction, and he nodded almost imperceptibly as she stood and fended off all the house-elves who wanted her to take food back with her.

Lily was nowhere to be seen when James arrived back at the lounge in the afternoon, having dawdled purposely in the kitchen over his newspaper for a lengthy period of time to avoid having to confront her. He noticed that her door was closed, though, and assumed that she'd really gone back up to her room to do her grading, as she'd said. Sighing inaudibly, he went up the stairs to his own room and flung himself down on the bed—he'd already finished his grading during class.

He seemed to have fallen on something that rumpled under his weight, and on picking himself back up, he was able to pull a set of robes out from underneath him. They were the robes he'd worn yesterday, he realized, recognizing the Hogwarts crest emblazoned on their front. They were clean and had obviously just been laundered, pressed, and folded—that is, before he'd heaved himself on top of them and undid some house-elf's meticulous work. That's funny, he thought, puzzled. I don't remember putting these into the hamper…

Suddenly he realized where, exactly, he'd put them—that is, thrown them, dropped them, whatever it could be termed. He recalled in blinding detail what he'd been doing when removing those robes…his brow wrinkled briefly as he detected an oddly recognizable scent, and he held the robes up to his nose and inhaled deeply. Lilac. Where had he come across this scent before? Something clicked into place in his mind and he dazedly dropped the robes onto the bedspread. Lily. Lily always used lilac scent for everything—lilac-scented lotion, lilac-scented body wash and shampoo, lilac-scented laundry detergent…

Lily must have washed these. Lily, who hated working house-elves more than necessary, whose cleaning spells always left their laundry at home smelling faintly of lilac. She must have cleaned it while he'd still been in the kitchens, and folded it back onto his bed for him.… James was now grinning like a fool. Just a small gesture, but it was something, right? The fact that she was still taking care of him…he shook his head. Lily always took care of him.

Before he could continue along this vein of thought, though, there was a rapping at the door. Shaking his head slightly and walking to the door, James called out, "Who is it?" Too late he realized it must have sounded stupid to ask who was there…no one but Lily could access the lounge or his room.

"It's me. Dumbledore wants to see us in his office," Lily's voice replied, a little dryly.

He wondered what this could possibly be about. Checking to make sure he had his wand with him, he opened the door. Lily stood on the threshold. Without making eye contact, she turned and headed down the stairs. He followed her swiftly, and the two of them walked silently out of the lounge and down the deserted halls towards the stone gargoyle that hid Dumbledore's office. James wondered how he should go about starting conversation, and it surprised him how little antagonism there was between the two of them at the moment—and how much awkwardness. He couldn't remember being this awkward with Lily since—well, since they'd just started seeing each other that way at Hogwarts. Like the first time he'd tried to ask her to Hogsmeade, or the first time he'd tried to hold her hand…

"Potter? James??" A laughing voice interrupted his wandering thoughts.

His eyes came back into focus and he straightened to attention. He realized, in chagrin, that there were several pairs of eyes fastened on him intently—the questioning, slightly mocking green of Lily's and the somewhat subdued blue twinkle of Dumbledore's being the ones that jumped out at him first. Turning, he found the bemused black eyes of one Sirius Black, who was standing next to Remus and Peter. It took him a few moments before he fully recognized some of the other people there—a number of Ministry workers, a few old schoolmates, several from among the Aurors, as well as Hagrid and a few others from Hogsmeade. There were perhaps a good twenty people in the room, which, for some reason, didn't seem crowded in the least.

"Thank you for joining us, James," Dumbledore said, his mouth twitching oddly, as though he were trying not to chuckle. He turned and nodded towards Lily. "Lily."

The room quieted as Dumbledore gazed about him, obviously seeking their undivided attention. Addressing everyone, his calm and seriousness permeated the room. "I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here."

Dumbledore moved back to his desk, deliberately. "As all of you have noticed, there has been increased Death Eater activity in these past few weeks. While Voldemort"—here several people cringed, but most just took the name in stride—"has not shown himself at these attacks, from all accounts heard, the reviving of the Dark Order seems to have been taking place. Many had hoped this past year of peace would become a permanent thing, but as we all know, the dark side is not so easily deterred from its quest for power and domination. Having suspected certain things from various contacts I have maintained in other magical communities, I took the liberty of asking Professors McGonagall and Flitwick to go on a rather important investigation on my behalf." There was an anxious murmur around the room, which subsided as Dumbledore looked around solemnly.

"Most of you will remember that there was a new Order initiated with Voldemort's rise in order to combat the Dark Order: the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore smiled wryly at Fawkes, who was perched precariously on a stand and looked absolutely horrible. The bird's feathers were molting terribly. "On discussion with various colleagues, it has been deemed wise—no, necessary—to reinstate the Order." He opened his hands to the group. "You know what is being asked of you, and the risks and sacrifices it may call for. Some of you may not wish to join, and may take this time to return home to your families, after a brief Memory Charm for your own safety. This is strictly voluntary. However, I would like to advise you to consider everything carefully, before either leaving or re-taking the oath to join the Order. The responsibilities and costs are great, as is the cause for which you may choose to fight."

There was a moment of stunned silence. Several people looked as though they would like to turn to their neighbours and begin deliberating over the matter at hand, but somehow, the weight of the issue seemed to discourage discussion. The choice was for each individual, and they were on their own.

The seconds ticked by and the tension in the air was almost tangible. Nobody made a move.

A voice spoke out—two voices, actually. "I'll do it," they said, the heaviness of decision weighing on each word. The two black-haired men turned to each other and grinned suddenly, proudly. They then turned in unison to the side, from which a figure had stepped forward silently at the same time they had. Both of them gazed down at the green eyes that were looking back at them steadily—no one spoke, but the look shared between the three of them said everything.

Dumbledore watched as more people stepped forward with the same decision. Remus followed immediately, hesitating, as always, feeling that his secret held him back. He looked directly into Dumbledore's eyes as he took the step, and the older wizard's eyes softened with a glance that put him at ease. Peter followed Remus, always a step behind the group—but his look was defiant, as he summoned up the courage to join his friends. Dumbledore's eyes drifted back toward the original three—James, Sirius, and Lily were standing, not looking at each other, heads lifted, staring at something straight ahead that only they could see. The headmaster's eyes as he watched them bore a look resembling paternal affection, as he observed his best and brightest face their decision without fear.

Others joined the ranks, though a few stood for a long time, pondering. Some people left, though only after an Obliviate had been performed on them to protect both them and the other members—it wouldn't do for the names of those working in the Order to fall into the wrong hands.

Finally, the room was still. Taking out their wands, wizards and witches raised them as one, and Dumbledore led them through the oath. Their voices resonated in the air as they completed the vows. A momentous pause followed the last words, and they held their wands in the air as though waiting for something. Dumbledore set the last ring of finality to it.

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."

That evening, back at their lounge, Lily and James sat in armchairs near the fire. Neither of them spoke. Remus, Sirius, and Peter were in the room as well, equally silent. Sirius sat on the table, his motorbike helmet dangling loosely from one hand as his dark eyes contemplated the floor unseeingly. Remus leaned with one arm in a worn sleeve propped against the mantelpiece, gray eyes trained upon the fire. Peter sat on the floor, back leaned against the wall next to the fireplace, thin hair tossed back, eyes closed.

They had been in the same position for the past half-hour, each lost in thoughts that they didn't want to share—yet.

James broke the silence at last. His eyes flicked up, away from the fire, to glance at each of his friends. "You do realize this means things have gotten very serious very fast—with Dumbledore suddenly starting up the Order again."

Remus closed his eyes briefly, tiredly, bowing his head a little. Sirius didn't even bother to make a crack about James's use of "serious." He just nodded in acknowledgment. Peter opened his eyes and sat up straighter, an unreadable expression flitting across his face.

They lapsed into silence once more.

"You do know that we can't afford to be petty anymore," Sirius suddenly said. He was glancing pointedly from James to Lily and back again. His tone was perfectly neutral, but they all knew what he meant. Remus coughed, the rasping sounding a bit like "finally." Peter choked, and shrank back into his corner, face twitching mischievously.

If Lily and James understood, they made no move to show it. Both of them still sat, expressionless, staring into the fire. Sirius sighed after watching them for a while, and mumbled something about heading back home. He strode out the portrait-hole, clamping a hand on James's shoulder and ruffling Lily's hair as he passed them. Remus and Peter soon followed suit.

The portrait-hole closed. More silence. Finally, Lily sighed.

"They're right, you know," she said, albeit softly and somewhat awkwardly. "We've got more important things to worry about now. We should set the differences aside. We need to—"

"—work together, I know," James finished for her. For the first time that day, the two of them made direct eye contact. They stared at each other for a few moments, and then cracked half-smiles, shyly. "All right."

They stayed still for a few minutes more, before neither of them could take it anymore. They leaped up out of their armchairs simultaneously, saying, "I think I'll do some work." It made them both stop and gape for a moment, then burst into nervous laughter before running off abruptly to their rooms.

Both reappeared in the lounge to begin work—Lily, with some last papers to grade; James, with a new assignment to map out. They seated themselves at the large table and got to work in, if not friendly, at least non-hostile silence.

After about an hour or so of working like this, James decided to start up a conversation. After all, it'd been a while since they'd actually talked. "So…" he began warily, feeling ready to smack himself over the head. Yes, start a conversation without a topic, why don't you.

Lily could see James's face getting flustered, and felt a bit bad for him, though she was still highly amused. "Yes?" she asked politely, trying not to burst into laughter.

There was an uncomfortable pause as James searched wildly through his mind for something, anything to talk about. "So…uh…how…are you dealing with your Slytherins? Seems as though they like to give you trouble," he said lamely, when he suddenly remembered that technically, he shouldn't know about the Slytherins giving her trouble. He found himself wishing he could throw himself out the window. When was the last time he was so muddled and upset trying to begin a conversation with Lily? Beginning of sixth year?

"Ah…yes. Well. There really isn't much I can do, is there, that would allow me to keep any dignity as a professor. I try to ignore them most of the time, and I take points, but there isn't much else," Lily supplied, feeling guilty because she was having so much fun with James's discomfort.

James nearly sighed in relief. Maybe Lily hadn't picked up on that "seems as though" part of his comment…yes, maybe she'd missed it completely…

"And how would you know about the Slytherins giving me trouble, Professor Potter? I don't recall confiding this particular problem in you," Lily arched an eyebrow gracefully, now looking openly amused.

Missed it completely? HA! Smartest witch in our year, like she'd miss a bloody thing. "I—er—heard it from…a…er, reliable source." Smooth, James, very suave. Think, think, who would Lily confide in? Who?

Lily decided to give James a break. He obviously didn't know what to say next, and she certainly wouldn't want him grilling her about certain things she knew about his fan club. "You probably heard it from the portrait, then. I knew she wouldn't keep quiet, honestly." She could feel a laugh coming at the ridiculous look of relief on James's face. She felt a nice thrill, though, and a tiny voice said in the back of her mind, He looks cute flustered.

Shaking her head, she sighed. "Yes, and it seems everyone noticed our little—hexing—session that day."

James frowned a little. "Yes, and I think Snape has been telling his class things about us that we'd rather not have them know, especially the Slytherins."

"You're right," Lily said, frowning a little, herself. "Why, that greasy, slimy, no-good wank—"

James's eyes had lit up.

"LILY!" he exclaimed, "I've got an idea!" He leaned back in his chair, a devious grin on his face. Lily could feel her heart beat a little faster, just watching the expression on his face. She knew she would love his idea. "Let's get a little revenge on Snape, shall we? Mess around a bit with his cunning little mind."

Lily burst out laughing at last. "But James, remember what Dumbledore said about behaving ourselves in front of the faculty…"

James pouted comically. Marauder sensibilities were at large once again and awkwardness was completely forgotten. "Oh, come off it, Lils, it'll be fun! And no one will ever know it's us…well, all right, so Dumbledore might suspect…but really…it will be completely harmless!" His eyes brightened even more. "We could do it on Halloween! Snape will just think one of the ghosts' mischief—probably Peeves! It's perfect! Positively brilliant!"

Lily looked at him calculatingly, as though considering whether to make him stop. James gave her the puppy-dog look that had been his main tool of coercion during Hogwarts, and she melted visibly and joined in the fun. "What shall we do?" she asked, eyes sparkling with mirth.

The two of them began a devious plan for the Halloween Feast, not noticing that outside the window, three pairs of eyes were peeking inside gleefully and three faces were grinning. Just then Peter lost his balance and elbowed Remus, who tried to move away and ended up smacking Sirius. "THAT'S IT!" Sirius roared, never one to keep his temper. "Both of you! Off my bike! NOW! OFF! OFF!!!" He started up the engine and kicked off the ledge they'd been balanced on and took off for the grounds, Remus and Peter hanging onto the seat for dear life. Luckily for them, Lily and James were too immersed in their plans for revenge on Snape to hear anything.

Dumbledore watched from his window as a figure on a motorbike sped away through the night air, driving near the ground with sharp turns and sudden dips in an effort to shake off the two passengers who were trying to stay on. "OFF! OFFFFF!!!" could be heard faintly. He smiled, shaking his head slowly as two shrieks of, "Stop—SOD OFF, PETER!" resounded, as it seemed the figure called Peter had attempted to get back on the bike by climbing up Remus's and Sirius's arms and legs. Behind the chuckling headmaster, Fawkes burst into brilliant, red-gold flame.

Notes:

Perhaps I've played too much with this idea—didja notice that to everyone else, James's flustered expression is horrifying, while Lily thinks it's cute? It's like James loving Lily's baking while Hagrid finds it disgusting. Maybe it's an overused topic, but I really sappily like the idea of falling in love with someone and loving even their oddest little quirks that would totally turn other people off.

I felt like I was being a bit overdramatic in this chapter what with the Order and all, but I wasn't sure how to deal with this issue and I didn't want to skirt it completely since we do know that there was some sort of Dumbledore-involved group back in the day and that the Potters were probably part of it, along with Sirius and their other friends...I think I'll try and leave this as vague as possible, though, since I'm no good with technical particulars. :)

Till next time, then.  I hate to beg desperately, but….please review!!  Heheheh…I'd like to get some feedback for some of my questions.  I'm not too sure of myself right now…perhaps I need to write more fic. ;)