Part 20

The Citadel, Illyria, June 2002

Max stroked Liz's soft hair lightly. She had finally fallen asleep, her quiet sobs gradually dying out. Now she was just sniffing occasionally, her breathing ragged, even in her exhausted slumber. Each tear had been like a dagger to Max's heart, hardening his resolve that Tarsus was going to pay for every single tear that Liz had ever cried because of him.

She had taken the news well at first, not entirely surprised it seemed. Tarsus had semi-prepared her. She had not allowed herself to believe it until Max had told her for sure though.

She had just stared at him blankly. "Did they suffer?" She had finally asked, looking up at him, her lower lip beginning to tremble.

Max hadn't known what to say. He hoped they hadn't. The inferno had been quick according to the Sheriff. "No." He said. But his hesitation had been noticeable. She had flinched. He had mentally berated himself for that, for even causing her a shred more pain. "I am so sorry Liz." Max wanted to apologize for everything - for the fact that knowing him, being involved with him, had been the reason she had lost her parents. But he had known that she didn't need to hear self-recrimination from him right now. That was selfish. She needed him to comfort her, to be there for her.

While he did blame himself, he knew that Liz never would. Even bringing it up to her would be ridiculous and beside the point.

And so he had just drawn her into his arms and had let her cry out her grief. He hadn't even told her that Tarsus would be punished for what he had done. She did not need that right now either.

She just needed oblivion. And so he had gently rocked her to sleep, kissing her gently, letting her know how much he loved her, that as long as he lived she would never be alone.

And so now he lay on the cot in their prison cell, Liz gently cradled against his chest, trying his best to make sure that she slept peacefully at least until dawn.

But it was not meant to be.

The door hidden in the wall across the chamber slid open several minutes later, throwing soft light across the shadows cast by the dying lumoglobe.

Max's eyes narrowed. He knew that Tarsus wasn't going to let him stay with Liz forever. He was still surprised that the evil one had let him come at all, but then he still did not understand Tarsus. His enemy's lack of emotions made him a total loose cannon all the time.

Max had decided to play along with Tarsus's farce that he was willing to accept Max as his king, as long as it meant he could be with Liz.

It looked like the game was over sooner than he had hoped. He spared a brief thought for Tess and Kyle, wondered if they had found his people, if they were even now marching on the Citadel. He sincerely hoped so, because while he fully intended to play Tarsus's game for all he was worth, he knew that he was at a supreme disadvantage.

If it went on for too long, Tarsus would win. All he had to do was steal Max's memories again, truly make him his puppet. He had done it once with little to no trouble. He would have no qualms about doing it again. But Max would fight him every step of the way.

He stared at the doorway, could not see the features of the figure who stood there. The light was brighter than he had realized. He sat up carefully, gently laid Liz back down, pulling the cover up around her shoulders. She was already beginning to shiver, having lost his natural heat. He would fight to stay with her as long as possible for if she had never needed him before, being his strong capable Liz, she needed him now.

"What do you want?" He asked sharply, playing the king for all he was worth.

"I would speak with you Jax…er, Max." The soft, feminine voice caused Max's eyes to widen.

He had heard that voice only twice before in this lifetime and neither time had been particularly pleasant. The first time it had told him things about his so-called destiny that had completely destroyed all the hopes and dreams he had for his own life, had almost completely ended any chance that he could ever be with Liz. The second time he had been sure that she had betrayed him, that she was his enemy.

It was his mother.

Max felt his heart beating unsteadily in his chest, reached down and picked up Liz's hand briefly, squeezing lightly. Even just touching her like that gave him the strength to stand up and face this confrontation.

He could not describe later how he felt in that moment. He knew exactly how Isabel would have felt. She would have been ecstatic, overjoyed, would have thrown herself at this strange woman that she had always missed.

Max had fibbed to Liz earlier that he had known that his mother was distracting Tarsus. He had not seen her since he had been brought to the Citadel. He wasn't sure why he had lied. Maybe he had not wanted to deal with Liz's concern over how he was going to feel in this moment. Maybe he hadn't wanted to think about that himself.

And now that the moment was there, all he felt was numb.

"Max?" Her voice was tentative, beginning to sound resigned that he did not want to speak to her.

"Come in." He said it quickly before he could change his mind. He picked up Liz's hand again, stroking it gently as she slept on behind him, completely oblivious to the life-changing moment taking place beside her - and yet she comforted him.

The door slid shut silently behind the figure. The soft light from the table revealed the stunningly beautiful woman he remembered, the one who looked so much like Isabel. It made him feel a momentary pang for his sister. He wondered if she was furious at him for leaving her behind, whether she believed him now about Liz…

"Mirana believes you. Even now she searches for a way to come to you." Milena said softly. Max blinked at her.

"Are you reading my mind?"

"No. Our connection has always been strong though my son. I have a natural gift of empathy as well. I sensed where your thoughts were drifting. I know that your sister looks much like me." She smiled gently. "I long to meet her in this life."

"I'd prefer it if you'd let me tell you what I want you to know." Max knew that the words sounded harsh, but he barely knew this woman. He did not want her trying to decipher every one of his thoughts. He had put on a brave front for Liz when he had first come to her, but he still didn't know exactly who to trust here. He knew that Liz had come to respect Milena, and yet there had been a slight hesitation when she had spoken of her, as though she knew something that she wasn't sure she wanted Max to know.

And if there was one person's judgment that he trusted, it was Liz's.

"Very well." She moved to sit down on one of the stools near the lumoglobe. Max could feel her eyes on his face, even in the semi-darkness. He tried to imagine what it must feel like for her to see him like this, after so many years. She had seen him that one time of course, but he had not been himself then. He was now the person he would want her to know. "Is everything well with you two?" She asked after a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" Max asked defensively, immediately cursing himself, wondering why he was feeling so hostile to this woman. It was beyond weird. It was just a gut instinct he had, something about her that he did not trust. He knew it was ludicrous, knew that she had held his kingdom, his planet for him for a generation. He tried to squelch the feeling of uncertainty, forced himself to say, "Have they treated you well…Mother?"

He sensed rather then saw the tears fill her eyes at his use of the title. "As well as is to be expected. Tarsus respects me for some reason. He had never been unkind. But then he is never deliberately cruel. He doesn't feel the joy some evil beings do at cruelty. He only does what he feels must be done."

"Like murder and regular mayhem." Max muttered darkly to himself, the rage he felt at the thought of Tarsus causing him to momentarily tense up. He realized that he was gripping Liz's hand too tightly, relaxed his hold and gently set it down. "Maybe you can tell me Mother - what does he want from me, from Liz, from any of us? Until I understand him, I can't defeat him."

"I truly do not know my son. I wish I did. I felt sure that when Danala died on Earth, he would let go of this conflict, that he would allow you all to return, would allow Jennetta to take her rightful place on the throne. It has not worked out that way."

"And so we are stuck playing his twisted games until he tires of them." Max finished bitterly.

"Why did you come here my son? It is so dangerous for you. You totally negated the sacrifice that your Liz made for you by coming with Tarsus." Milena sounded truly curious, as though she was trying to understand.

"I love her. I would never abandon her. Just as she would give up everything, even me, to protect me, I would give up my planet, my family, my own life, to protect her."

It was a simple answer but it was the main truth in Max and Liz's relationship, had been from day one, from that day in the Crashdown when he had patched a bullet hole below her heart, bringing her irrevocably into his life.

It had been the day his life had begun.

He had told her that once, during those dark days when Tess had first come, threatening all they had, when Pierce had kidnapped him, almost killed him. It was as true now as it had been then. He did not become Max Evans until he healed Liz Parker. It was the day they had become one.

And suddenly he knew exactly what Grandma Claudia had meant about the bonding.

That had been the day that he had given his whole heart to Liz Parker. He had loved her from afar for so long, but until the day he risked his entire existence for her, he had not deserved her.

It was the day that had bonded him to her.

He was unsure if it was true the other way around. It would be something to discuss with Liz later.

And yet Max could see that Milena did not truly understand, although she was trying to. "Lucianus told me that this is how it would be." She finally said. "I did not understand. I did not even understand when Liz spoke of you."

"Did you love my father?" Max asked, frowning slightly.

"I loved him well." Milena replied quietly, "But it was an arranged marriage. We were happy for a time, especially when you and your sister were born, but he was so preoccupied with the war. I was not the centre of his existence as your Liz appears to be to you."

"But loving Liz doesn't mean that other things don't matter to me Mother. Loving her only reinforces how much I want to make both this planet and Earth safe for her and the children we might have some day."

Max felt sad for Milena. Something had been missing from her life it seemed. Perhaps this is why she had loved her children enough to send them away to another planet, in the hopes that they would one day return to her.

He and Isabel were all she had.

"I am glad for you Max." Milena rose gracefully to her feet. "And since I know you two have so little time to be alone - I feel that Tarsus will soon try and separate you again - I will leave you."

"Mother!"

She turned at the doorway, looked back at him with shadowed eyes. "Yes my son?"

"You have to tell me if you know what he wants with Liz. I can't really protect her unless I know." Max felt the desperation deep in his belly. He couldn't believe that he hadn't asked her this before now. She was leaving. Why was she leaving so quickly?

"I think that loving her will be protection enough." Milena replied, smiling sadly.

She was gone an instant later.

Max stared after her, closed his eyes briefly in frustration. That conversation had left him with more questions than answers.

He jumped slightly when he felt Liz's small hand on his back. "Max?"

He turned around, forced a smile. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. "You're supposed to be asleep." He admonished gently.

"Nearly having my hand squeezed off sort of woke me up." She teased wryly. Max felt his cheeks heat up slightly.

"Sorry about that." He pulled her up so that he could hold her more closely. "How are you feeling?"

"Sad." Liz replied quietly. "And not just about my parents. That was a very strange conversation you just had."

Max sighed, tucked her head under his chin. "I know."

"I've never heard you describe our relationship that way before." Liz said after they had sat in companionable silence for a while.

"Like what?"

"Like a mutual protection pact." Liz replied. He could hear the affection in her voice. "We really are a pair aren't we? We keep thrusting ourselves into life-threatening situations trying to protect each other, completely throwing what the other one was trying to do out of whack."

Max grinned into her hair. "When you put it that way, it does sound a little bit ridiculous."

"I think we need a new pact." Liz said firmly.

He pulled back slightly, kissed her lightly on the nose. "You do, do you?"

"Knowing what happened to my parents, I am happy about one thing." Liz told him. Max raised an eyebrow at her, gently pushed her hair behind her ears, waited for her to continue. "At least they died together. They loved each other so much, I just know that they would have wanted it that way."

"That's a nice way to look at it sweetheart." Anything to make her grief a little less.

"Max, I think we need to stop trying to protect each other so much." Liz continued. "I think we just need to live each day to the fullest, being grateful for the time we do have together."

"Liz…"

"No Max, listen to me. I know that you want to protect me because I feel exactly the same way. But we aren't really living. We're always on edge, always freaking out. We could both die tomorrow for all we know. Heck, I've already died three times by my count." She added wryly. "I don't want to spend the time we do have together worrying all the time. I just want to be with you, I just want to love you." She paused, biting her lip. He could tell that she wanted to say something more, but was reluctant to do so.

"Liz?"

"Max, I don't want to wait anymore."

He felt his heart stop. "Huh?"

"Think about it for a minute. There is one reason and one reason alone that we haven't made love." Liz told him matter-a-factly. Her face was turning a charming shade of crimson, but she forged ahead. "It was another way to protect each other. We saw what happened to Michael and Maria. They gave in, they lost their daughter in the long run."

"Ummmm…" Max didn't even know what to say to her. He was barely managing to form coherent thoughts. Suddenly how close she was to him was no longer about comfort…

But she was on a roll now anyway. "I mean, we always thought they must have regretted it, hurting each other that badly, but Max, really, they got Jennetta out of it! Isn't having her and losing her better than never having her at all? And they haven't even lost her at all have they? She's grown up now but she's still a part of their lives."

She paused, lowered her eyes. "I love you. I want to be with you. I always have. I don't want to wait anymore." Max's entire body tensed up as she began to rain kisses down his neck.

Her lips were on his a moment later, her hands gently cupping his face. He realized that he had stopped breathing, forced himself to take great gulps of air. And then he was kissing her everywhere, trying to show her how much he loved her with his lips and his hands.

What seemed like ages later, he managed to pull away briefly to stare right into her eyes. For a moment they were back in the desert, on the night when they had first discovered an orb, on the night that had started them on the long journey that had brought them to this point. "Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life - other than the fact that we were made for each other." Liz told him quietly. He could see tears beginning to well in her dark eyes. He gently kissed them away.

"I love you." He told her, lowering his head again.

It was his last coherent thought for a long time.