[u]Part 34[/u]
Alex sighed wearily and fell back against the pillows on his hospital bed. While he had been eager to be up and about only the day before, impatient with the nurses (who he now knew were changed humans with something approaching Max's healing power) and really a very annoying patient, now he was glad that he had somewhere to hide. Because as long as he stayed where he was, he didn't have to face the fact that Isabel and Michael were really together. It was sheer irony that now that he actually felt pretty good, he wished he felt like crap again.
Because, as long as he stayed here, he wouldn't have to accidentally run into them in the hallway or anywhere else. He could sulk and blame himself in peace.
It was all his own fault. Isabel had not understood what she had seen with Jennetta and had gone rushing off and done something stupid. He had brought it on himself by not being more clear with Isabel in the past that she was the only one for him. He had always let her go her own way, had given her the space he thought she needed in order to understand who she was - an alien princess with a future neither of them could avoid. But, by maintaining that slight distance between them - one Max had refused to allow Liz to give him and one Maria had tossed back in Michael's face - he had lost her.
Yet, he knew deep down that it was all about more than that anyway. He [I]knew[/I] that Michael didn't love Isabel. It had not taken him long to decipher from Maria's general avoidance of the topic that she and Michael had cooked up some scheme to try and snap Isabel out of her pursuit of her so-called "destiny." Maria was a terrible liar after all - at least in Alex's view - and she had not been nearly upset enough that the father of her child had abruptly abandoned her.
No, Alex was no fool. He knew that Michael and Maria were up to something. But it did not mean that Isabel was any less serious about her desire to be with Michael. He had not laid eyes on her since she had run out on him the day before, but he knew it, somewhere in his heart. This was all real. And it hurt like hell.
Isabel did not want to hurt him and so she avoided him. It was all making it even clearer why she had tried so hard to convince him not to come to Illyria with them all. And, the irony of it all was that it was that which had hurt him more than anything. Because his attachment to the aliens was not just about [I]her[/I]. He had always felt like an integral part of the group, but Isabel's wish to get rid of him made him question if that was really true.
Yes, he knew that Liz and Maria loved him, but they certainly didn't really confide in him anymore. Liz was so wrapped up in Max there wasn't room for anyone else and Maria was now deliberately lying to him [I]and[/I] avoiding him because she hated doing it. He had never really been close to Max and Michael anyway. Kyle didn't know whether he was coming or going from their group half the time because of his tumultuous relationship with Tess and while Alex had tried to befriend Tess, because he understood what it was like to be an outsider, they had never truly bonded. Was it any wonder that he had felt kinship for Jennetta? At least she had seemed to [I]need[/I] him sometimes.
But, now, even that was over. Because, apparently, according to Maria, with Ren's death, Jenny had gone off the deep end and it was unlikely anyone could pull her back. Alex had even tried, but whatever affection she had once harbored for him was long gone. Their discussion about her love for Ren had come at a highly inopportune time it seemed. Jenny's devastation was simply worse because just when she realized how much the grumpy shapeshifter meant to her, he was gone. Alex's heart went out to her, but he could not reach her anymore. Their conversation had been stilted and one-sided. She had not wanted to hear what he had to say about losing someone you loved, although she had politely listened, and she had left him soon after.
And, so, now here he sat, completely alone, miserable and wishing he were dead. He wondered briefly in anyone would even miss him if he was gone.
"Whitman."
Michael's gruff voice in the doorway made Alex snap his head up. He blinked. He could have kicked himself when he said in a friendly way, "Hi Michael." What was he doing? This was the person who was presently [I]sleeping[/I] with his Isabel! And, yet, his natural compulsion to be helpful and open made him be nice. Damn his personality! Once in a while he wished he had Michael's natural ability to glower, or Max's to brood, or even Kyle's to be sarcastic. He decided he could scowl though. Because he wanted to. Badly. And, so, he did.
He was slightly amazed when it actually seemed to affect Michael. Did he flinch? Alex felt his scowl slip as he tilted his head to see if it was really true. "I really need to talk to you," Michael continued carefully. "Is this a bad time?"
"Not for me," Alex snapped. "But aren't you supposed to be preparing to save the universe or something?" He paused. "Oh wait. I forgot. You're shacking up with my girlfriend. I'm sure that takes up a lot of your time too." Okay. Now where had [I]that[/I] come from? Kyle would be proud!
Michael grimaced, moved into the room. "I know I deserve that," he muttered. There was a long pause as they both stared at each other. "Maria didn't tell you what's going on then?"
"No," Alex replied, making his tone pleasant. "Was it you who asked her to lie to me? Because she sucks at it."
Michael snorted. "I'm sure. But we couldn't tell you. Isabel needs to really believe I want to pursue this with her. Or she did anyway. Now I think it was all just a stupid idea."
"So you don't care about her?" Alex demanded. "And you're sleeping with her?" His outrage on Izzy's behalf almost made him forget that she had broken his heart.
"We didn't have sex," Michael told him, apparently grossed out. Alex scowled even more. "We just slept. We've been remembering things from our past life when we're asleep, so I thought if we shared a bed, we might get more." He shuddered. "She's like my sister for God's sake. That's just [I]wrong[/I]!"
"Well, am I going to get an explanation then?" Alex asked. "What the hell is going on? Did you figure anything out?"
Michael sighed, moved forward again and flopped into the chair next to Alex's bed. "Not really. I did get a glimmering this morning that she's not really into this - Isabel anyway. When I kissed her," Alex felt ill at that, "We connected." Michael looked right at him for a moment and then away. "She was thinking about [I]you[/I]. Isabel I mean. Isabel is fighting what's happening to her." Alex's heart skipped a beat. He stared at his friend, who now appeared to be working through something in his own mind before he spoke. He scowled again, wondered if Michael was just using him as a sounding board or if he really did need something. "I think someone's doing this to us. Actually, I think someone's doing something to [I]her[/I]. My dreams haven't happened since I've been back in physical proximity to Maria. I think I was just getting leaked off images from Isabel because we spent so much time alone together before you guys got here."
"Like through the four square?" Alex asked, intrigued in spite of himself.
"Maybe. It's hard to say. Maybe the same thing would be happening to Max and Tess if they were here?" Michael shrugged. "I don't know."
"So you think Isabel was thinking about [I]me[/I] when she kissed you?" Alex prodded. "Then what are the dreams about?"
"Someone's implanting images of when she was Mirana and she can't get past them," Michael said. "I'm almost positive that's what's going on." The way he trailed off prompted Alex's next question.
"And you think you know who's doing it?"
"Yeah," Michael replied, glowering. "I think it's Jemma Stafford. I think she's using Stonehenge to invade Isabel's mind. Because none of this happened until we got here."
Alex started. "Why? What does she care if you guys are together?"
"She's a psycho Illyrian. All she cares about is the [I]cause[/I]," Michael told him, accenting the last word sarcastically. "She wants to kill all the cleansed Dernians to get rid of them and she goes around randomly turning humans into aliens. She's just bananas. I think she would do [I]anything[/I] if she thought it would get her back to Illyria. Maybe she thinks that me and Isabel together - that if we want our old lives back - she can guarantee once and for all that it'll happen? That as long as we're with humans, our hearts won't be completely in it?"
From the way Michael said the last, Alex knew that Jemma was not far wrong about that. Isabel in particular had often wanted to forget she was an alien - but all that had changed since she had come to England. And Michael would have been perfectly content to live in Roswell with Maria and Jenny for the rest of his life after his first visit to Illyria. It had been hell for him. Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt that Michael would not be going back if it wasn't Jennetta's wish to take the throne.
Alex scratched his head now. "Well, that sounds kind of logical. As much as alien motivations are ever logical," he added. "But she knows how badly we all want to get Liz and the others back. She has to know that we're going."
There was a long pause. Alex wondered at the frown that had appeared on Michael's face. "That's what I came here to talk to you about."
"What?" Alex demanded suspiciously. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of Michael's tone. Apparently Michael had a plan. Michael's plans were never good plans. Michael's plans usually involved breaking into places, consorting with crazy shapeshifters who stole your emotions or sleeping with other people's girlfriends. No, they were not [I]good[/I] plans.
"I think the key is to get Isabel away from Stonehenge," Michael told him. "I think it's what's screwing with her mind."
"But Stonehenge is how we're going to get to." Alex trailed off as dawning realization hit him. He stared at Michael. "You don't want to go, do you? You want to get Izzy away from the portal so that she can't open it."
Michael didn't answer, merely raised an eyebrow.
"What is this supposed to accomplish?" Alex asked, feeling extremely weak suddenly. "We're going to save Isabel by abandoning Liz and the others? Because that's what we're doing Michael if we don't go."
"Maxwell would understand. They'll all understand," Michael replied. "And we can still go through again six months from now."
"Which in Illyrian time is the equivalent of six millenia!" Alex yelled. "I don't think Kyle Valenti can handle wearing tights for that long Michael!"
"Alex, Isabel is going crazy!" Michael replied urgently. "We need to get her back in shape. She isn't going to be any help to us the way she is anyway. We can't go through that portal divided the way we are. We just [I]can't[/I]. I don't care how many frigging "changed" humans Jemma Stafford throws at us. We're [I]not[/I] ready."
Alex listened to him, astounded by the certainty he heard in Michael's voice. For once, he could actually believe that Michael Guerin had been a successful general in his past life. He was not willing to chance the lives of any of his [I]troops[/I] until he was completely sure of success.
Without Isabel, there was no chance of success. Michael was right. With Isabel torn in her loyalties, they would fail. With everyone at odds, they would fail.
It was then that Michael said the one thing that made Alex's heart stop beating. Because he knew that they had all tried to avoid thinking about it. Because none of them would know how to deal with it, if it was true. "Alex, they could all be dead already."
Alex closed his eyes. "Michael."
"Alex, if they're dead - if Maxwell and Liz and Kyle and my sister." he swallowed heavily, "If they're dead." There was another long silence. "Can we really risk Izzy?"
Their eyes met and held. "They're not dead," Alex finally said quietly.
"I know. But we can't risk Isabel. We're losing her Alex. We need to bring her back."
Alex took a deep breath. "Okay. Tell me what you want me to do."
************************************************
"Rock," Kyle crowed. "I win [I]again![/I]"
"This game sucks." Tess crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away, pouting.
"I told you it would be more interesting if we played the strip version," Kyle replied. "It's not my fault you're such a prude."
Tess whipped her head around and glared at him. "Kyle! We're not alone you moron!" She glanced meaningfully towards the door, where an expressionless Dernian continued to stare straight ahead, apparently ignoring their conversation completely.
"I understand. You're not an exhibitionist. We'll just wait 'til we get back to Earth for that version," Kyle told her comfortingly. He grinned when her fist whipped out in spite of herself and she socked him in the shoulder. "Ouch," he said mildly.
Tess scowled and allowed herself to fall back onto the bed. "I am sooooooooo bored," she whined. Their captivity had quickly declined from being scary to just downright annoying. Apparently no one cared what they did as long as they weren't roaming around the Citadel. Tess was even beginning to wonder if anyone really cared if the Queen was intimate with her bodyguard after all. It was beyond strange that they had locked them up together if they were trying to protect her virtue for Max after all.
She wondered if she was ever going to understand anything on this planet. Not for the first time, she wished that she [I]was[/I] back on Earth playing strip rock, paper, scissors with Kyle. At least on Earth she was allowed to be herself. Here she was constantly sitting on pins and needles, worried that she was doing the wrong thing, that she would somehow spoil everything and screw up Max's mission or Kyle's life or Jennetta's claim to the throne. She wondered if this was how she had felt all the time in her other life - as Sabrya. From the way she was treated, she didn't doubt it. There was no way that Sabrya could have been as stupid as everyone seemed to think she was. After all, Tess wasn't stupid this time around and weren't Max, Michael and Isabel all fairly close personality- wise to how Jaxon, Tristandor and Mirana were supposed to have been? Max had basically been [I]Max[/I], even when he thought he was Jaxon, and Michael was developing from a head-strong boy (which Tristandor [I]must[/I] have been to completely reject his people's ideals when joining the Illyrians) into a capable man. And from the little Tess knew about Mirana, she had apparently been slightly haughty but loving as well, just like Isabel.
Tess couldn't imagine the kind of life poor Sabrya must have lived. She had showed spunk by joining her brother in Illyria, but had then found herself trapped in a marriage to a man who didn't love her (as more than a sister anyway) and treated like a traitor and a ninny by her new people. It must have sucked.
"What are you thinking about?" Kyle asked now. Tess glanced at the guard again. Kyle seemed entirely comfortable with the shapeshifter's presence. They had both become used to it in the day or so they had been locked up here, but Tess couldn't help but wonder if the lack of expression on his face was just his way of hiding that he was taking in everything they were saying. She remembered things Maria had said about Ren, when Jennetta's bodyguard had been her guard during her time on Illyria. He had always seemed to be merely calmly listening to her when she ranted at him, but, in the end, it had been what he had learned from Maria that had resulted in his saving Jennetta from Tarsus. Who knew what their various guards were saving up to use against them later?
But, then, she really was sick of hiding things from Kyle. And talking about Sabrya was unlikely to result in a make-out session after all. They weren't both complete horndogs after all, to quote one of Michael's favorite words. She giggled in spite of herself, then felt a pang when she remembered how much she missed her brother.
"I'm just wondering about everyone else," Tess admitted. "Everything is so screwed up Kyle."
"I know," he said, sighing. "But it'll get better once Max is back. Then we can sort this whole mess out and go back to Earth."
"But we have to come back here," Tess reminded him. "To make sure Jennetta is secure on her throne."
"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "But things'll be different. There won't be any more walls." He stared at the guard, scowled, then looked back at her, his blue eyes suddenly scalding. "I hate this," he whispered. Tess felt her eyes widen as his hand started to inch across the bed towards her. She could not take her eyes off of it, felt her breath quickening.
Okay, so maybe she [I]was[/I] a horndog. Because spending so much time in close quarters with Kyle was beginning to remind her of how much she really, really wanted to be open about how much she loved him. They had only [I]ever[/I] kissed one time after all. It was downright ludicrous!
"Kyle!" She murmured urgently. "[I]Don't[/I]!"
Their eyes met for one charged moment and then he turned his head, sighing again. His arm came up to cover his face as he fell back against the pillows on the bed.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. She could almost see him closing himself off from her again.
"It's not your fault," he said after a long silence. "This just sucks."
"They're trying to make us break Kyle," she told him. "You know that. They want concrete proof to give to Max when he gets back. That I'm a traitor I mean." She paused. "They must have really hated me before."
Kyle moved his arm, turned his head to look at her. "The Illyrians?"
"I think so," Tess said. "They just don't respect me. I don't think they ever did before either."
"It doesn't matter what they think," he reminded her. "The only people who matter are Isabel and Michael." He trailed off, what he left unsaid lingering between them.
[I]And Max[/I].
Tess felt a flash of anger. "Are you ever going to get over it?" She demanded, raising her voice. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, knew that the guard was shifting, maybe to listen more closely. But at this point she didn't care.
"Over what?" Kyle asked, sounding a bit surprised.
"Over the fact that Liz chose Max over you?" Tess replied hotly. "Because I know that's what it's all really about - the way you feel about him. He's only [I]ever[/I] tried to be your friend, but you are just so jealous of him, you can't even see that, can you?"
Kyle stared at her, didn't reply. And, so, she continued, "And I understand that your father wasn't a very good one while he was investigating Max, but how is that [I]Max's[/I] fault? He didn't ask for the sheriff to do that! He even saved your life! But you act like that was something you wish he hadn't done, freaking out about how you don't want to change into an alien and blah, blah, blah!" Tess realized that she was quite losing control of herself, but she couldn't seem to stop, now that she had started. All of her own uncertainty and insecurities were coming out and so she had apparently decided to list all of Kyle's to avoid them.
"You've screwed with your own mind so much Kyle that you can't even understand that you might be someone's first choice. I don't even get how many times I can try and tell you that I don't want him, but you don't ever listen."
"You've [I]never[/I] told me that," Kyle said, sounding annoyed. "You've told me you love me, but you've [I]never[/I] told me you don't want him."
"Are you a complete idiot?" Tess shrieked. "I don't! I do not want Max! The end. Period." She was up on her knees, staring down at him. "[I]I don't love him![/I]"
Kyle sat up, stared past her at the guard. "Tess."
"It doesn't matter if I love him!" She yelled. "I don't have to love him to be his queen to these morons! Don't you get it? They don't understand [I]anything[/I]. Even the Illyrians, for all their blather about staying uncleansed, don't really get what it means to love someone. Milena more than proves that. She says she loves Max and, yet, she constantly betrays him. They're freaks! I'm not one of them and I don't want to be." She realized she was panting, took a deep breath. "It's my human side that loves you Kyle." She looked over at the guard, who was still staring at her without expression. "And I don't care who knows it anymore." She looked back at Kyle, placed both her hands on either side of his face and looked him right in the eye. "I would even die to prove it."
Kyle's eyes were bright as he swallowed and murmured, "Tess, why are you doing this?"
"Because if having them throw me in that damn Ring to be judged is the only way to prove that I love you, then I'll do it," Tess replied. She moved away from him, marched over to the guard and poked him in the chest. He didn't move. She heard Kyle behind her, obviously coming to stop her, but she ignored him. "Did you hear me buster? Hello? Is anyone in there? I want to be judged. Go tell that old goat Hamor so. The Ring will prove once and for all that Kyle and I belong together. I want it to show you all how stupid and archaic you all are." She glanced back at Kyle. "I mean, really! They managed to conquer space travel but they act like they live in the middle ages. It's absurd! If they need us at all, it's to pull them out of their own irony."
Kyle had stopped half-way across the chamber, was just staring at her open- mouthed. "Are you crazy?" He asked finally, a grin starting to break across his face.
"Yes," Tess told him. "I am crazy in love with you and I refuse to hide it anymore."
She realized that Kyle was looking over her head. "He's gone," he told her.
"I assume so," Tess said, beginning to smile. "I gave them just what they wanted after all."
"They'll be back soon."
"Yes, they will."
"So, are we going to waste the time until then?" Kyle asked. "I mean, I can't say that I'm thrilled that I'm about to be thrown to the wolves, but I think it's pretty much established that it's going to happen now."
She felt a pang of guilt, but realized that she wasn't really sorry. Not at all. "Probably." She hurried across the room and threw herself into his waiting arms. "I don't care anymore."
"What the hell," Kyle said, bringing his lips down and planting a firm kiss on hers. "I don't care anymore either. If I'm going to die, there's no one I'd rather do it for."
She pulled away slightly, placed her hands on his cheeks again and made him look her right in the eye again. "We're not going to die Kyle. This is right. It is what's meant to be. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't. I used to believe in destiny, but I don't anymore. Max says that we make our own, and if mine is to die with you, then the time has come. But I'm going to make it worth it first."
With that, she pulled his lips back to hers and let herself live.
To be continued.
Alex sighed wearily and fell back against the pillows on his hospital bed. While he had been eager to be up and about only the day before, impatient with the nurses (who he now knew were changed humans with something approaching Max's healing power) and really a very annoying patient, now he was glad that he had somewhere to hide. Because as long as he stayed where he was, he didn't have to face the fact that Isabel and Michael were really together. It was sheer irony that now that he actually felt pretty good, he wished he felt like crap again.
Because, as long as he stayed here, he wouldn't have to accidentally run into them in the hallway or anywhere else. He could sulk and blame himself in peace.
It was all his own fault. Isabel had not understood what she had seen with Jennetta and had gone rushing off and done something stupid. He had brought it on himself by not being more clear with Isabel in the past that she was the only one for him. He had always let her go her own way, had given her the space he thought she needed in order to understand who she was - an alien princess with a future neither of them could avoid. But, by maintaining that slight distance between them - one Max had refused to allow Liz to give him and one Maria had tossed back in Michael's face - he had lost her.
Yet, he knew deep down that it was all about more than that anyway. He [I]knew[/I] that Michael didn't love Isabel. It had not taken him long to decipher from Maria's general avoidance of the topic that she and Michael had cooked up some scheme to try and snap Isabel out of her pursuit of her so-called "destiny." Maria was a terrible liar after all - at least in Alex's view - and she had not been nearly upset enough that the father of her child had abruptly abandoned her.
No, Alex was no fool. He knew that Michael and Maria were up to something. But it did not mean that Isabel was any less serious about her desire to be with Michael. He had not laid eyes on her since she had run out on him the day before, but he knew it, somewhere in his heart. This was all real. And it hurt like hell.
Isabel did not want to hurt him and so she avoided him. It was all making it even clearer why she had tried so hard to convince him not to come to Illyria with them all. And, the irony of it all was that it was that which had hurt him more than anything. Because his attachment to the aliens was not just about [I]her[/I]. He had always felt like an integral part of the group, but Isabel's wish to get rid of him made him question if that was really true.
Yes, he knew that Liz and Maria loved him, but they certainly didn't really confide in him anymore. Liz was so wrapped up in Max there wasn't room for anyone else and Maria was now deliberately lying to him [I]and[/I] avoiding him because she hated doing it. He had never really been close to Max and Michael anyway. Kyle didn't know whether he was coming or going from their group half the time because of his tumultuous relationship with Tess and while Alex had tried to befriend Tess, because he understood what it was like to be an outsider, they had never truly bonded. Was it any wonder that he had felt kinship for Jennetta? At least she had seemed to [I]need[/I] him sometimes.
But, now, even that was over. Because, apparently, according to Maria, with Ren's death, Jenny had gone off the deep end and it was unlikely anyone could pull her back. Alex had even tried, but whatever affection she had once harbored for him was long gone. Their discussion about her love for Ren had come at a highly inopportune time it seemed. Jenny's devastation was simply worse because just when she realized how much the grumpy shapeshifter meant to her, he was gone. Alex's heart went out to her, but he could not reach her anymore. Their conversation had been stilted and one-sided. She had not wanted to hear what he had to say about losing someone you loved, although she had politely listened, and she had left him soon after.
And, so, now here he sat, completely alone, miserable and wishing he were dead. He wondered briefly in anyone would even miss him if he was gone.
"Whitman."
Michael's gruff voice in the doorway made Alex snap his head up. He blinked. He could have kicked himself when he said in a friendly way, "Hi Michael." What was he doing? This was the person who was presently [I]sleeping[/I] with his Isabel! And, yet, his natural compulsion to be helpful and open made him be nice. Damn his personality! Once in a while he wished he had Michael's natural ability to glower, or Max's to brood, or even Kyle's to be sarcastic. He decided he could scowl though. Because he wanted to. Badly. And, so, he did.
He was slightly amazed when it actually seemed to affect Michael. Did he flinch? Alex felt his scowl slip as he tilted his head to see if it was really true. "I really need to talk to you," Michael continued carefully. "Is this a bad time?"
"Not for me," Alex snapped. "But aren't you supposed to be preparing to save the universe or something?" He paused. "Oh wait. I forgot. You're shacking up with my girlfriend. I'm sure that takes up a lot of your time too." Okay. Now where had [I]that[/I] come from? Kyle would be proud!
Michael grimaced, moved into the room. "I know I deserve that," he muttered. There was a long pause as they both stared at each other. "Maria didn't tell you what's going on then?"
"No," Alex replied, making his tone pleasant. "Was it you who asked her to lie to me? Because she sucks at it."
Michael snorted. "I'm sure. But we couldn't tell you. Isabel needs to really believe I want to pursue this with her. Or she did anyway. Now I think it was all just a stupid idea."
"So you don't care about her?" Alex demanded. "And you're sleeping with her?" His outrage on Izzy's behalf almost made him forget that she had broken his heart.
"We didn't have sex," Michael told him, apparently grossed out. Alex scowled even more. "We just slept. We've been remembering things from our past life when we're asleep, so I thought if we shared a bed, we might get more." He shuddered. "She's like my sister for God's sake. That's just [I]wrong[/I]!"
"Well, am I going to get an explanation then?" Alex asked. "What the hell is going on? Did you figure anything out?"
Michael sighed, moved forward again and flopped into the chair next to Alex's bed. "Not really. I did get a glimmering this morning that she's not really into this - Isabel anyway. When I kissed her," Alex felt ill at that, "We connected." Michael looked right at him for a moment and then away. "She was thinking about [I]you[/I]. Isabel I mean. Isabel is fighting what's happening to her." Alex's heart skipped a beat. He stared at his friend, who now appeared to be working through something in his own mind before he spoke. He scowled again, wondered if Michael was just using him as a sounding board or if he really did need something. "I think someone's doing this to us. Actually, I think someone's doing something to [I]her[/I]. My dreams haven't happened since I've been back in physical proximity to Maria. I think I was just getting leaked off images from Isabel because we spent so much time alone together before you guys got here."
"Like through the four square?" Alex asked, intrigued in spite of himself.
"Maybe. It's hard to say. Maybe the same thing would be happening to Max and Tess if they were here?" Michael shrugged. "I don't know."
"So you think Isabel was thinking about [I]me[/I] when she kissed you?" Alex prodded. "Then what are the dreams about?"
"Someone's implanting images of when she was Mirana and she can't get past them," Michael said. "I'm almost positive that's what's going on." The way he trailed off prompted Alex's next question.
"And you think you know who's doing it?"
"Yeah," Michael replied, glowering. "I think it's Jemma Stafford. I think she's using Stonehenge to invade Isabel's mind. Because none of this happened until we got here."
Alex started. "Why? What does she care if you guys are together?"
"She's a psycho Illyrian. All she cares about is the [I]cause[/I]," Michael told him, accenting the last word sarcastically. "She wants to kill all the cleansed Dernians to get rid of them and she goes around randomly turning humans into aliens. She's just bananas. I think she would do [I]anything[/I] if she thought it would get her back to Illyria. Maybe she thinks that me and Isabel together - that if we want our old lives back - she can guarantee once and for all that it'll happen? That as long as we're with humans, our hearts won't be completely in it?"
From the way Michael said the last, Alex knew that Jemma was not far wrong about that. Isabel in particular had often wanted to forget she was an alien - but all that had changed since she had come to England. And Michael would have been perfectly content to live in Roswell with Maria and Jenny for the rest of his life after his first visit to Illyria. It had been hell for him. Alex knew without a shadow of a doubt that Michael would not be going back if it wasn't Jennetta's wish to take the throne.
Alex scratched his head now. "Well, that sounds kind of logical. As much as alien motivations are ever logical," he added. "But she knows how badly we all want to get Liz and the others back. She has to know that we're going."
There was a long pause. Alex wondered at the frown that had appeared on Michael's face. "That's what I came here to talk to you about."
"What?" Alex demanded suspiciously. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of Michael's tone. Apparently Michael had a plan. Michael's plans were never good plans. Michael's plans usually involved breaking into places, consorting with crazy shapeshifters who stole your emotions or sleeping with other people's girlfriends. No, they were not [I]good[/I] plans.
"I think the key is to get Isabel away from Stonehenge," Michael told him. "I think it's what's screwing with her mind."
"But Stonehenge is how we're going to get to." Alex trailed off as dawning realization hit him. He stared at Michael. "You don't want to go, do you? You want to get Izzy away from the portal so that she can't open it."
Michael didn't answer, merely raised an eyebrow.
"What is this supposed to accomplish?" Alex asked, feeling extremely weak suddenly. "We're going to save Isabel by abandoning Liz and the others? Because that's what we're doing Michael if we don't go."
"Maxwell would understand. They'll all understand," Michael replied. "And we can still go through again six months from now."
"Which in Illyrian time is the equivalent of six millenia!" Alex yelled. "I don't think Kyle Valenti can handle wearing tights for that long Michael!"
"Alex, Isabel is going crazy!" Michael replied urgently. "We need to get her back in shape. She isn't going to be any help to us the way she is anyway. We can't go through that portal divided the way we are. We just [I]can't[/I]. I don't care how many frigging "changed" humans Jemma Stafford throws at us. We're [I]not[/I] ready."
Alex listened to him, astounded by the certainty he heard in Michael's voice. For once, he could actually believe that Michael Guerin had been a successful general in his past life. He was not willing to chance the lives of any of his [I]troops[/I] until he was completely sure of success.
Without Isabel, there was no chance of success. Michael was right. With Isabel torn in her loyalties, they would fail. With everyone at odds, they would fail.
It was then that Michael said the one thing that made Alex's heart stop beating. Because he knew that they had all tried to avoid thinking about it. Because none of them would know how to deal with it, if it was true. "Alex, they could all be dead already."
Alex closed his eyes. "Michael."
"Alex, if they're dead - if Maxwell and Liz and Kyle and my sister." he swallowed heavily, "If they're dead." There was another long silence. "Can we really risk Izzy?"
Their eyes met and held. "They're not dead," Alex finally said quietly.
"I know. But we can't risk Isabel. We're losing her Alex. We need to bring her back."
Alex took a deep breath. "Okay. Tell me what you want me to do."
************************************************
"Rock," Kyle crowed. "I win [I]again![/I]"
"This game sucks." Tess crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away, pouting.
"I told you it would be more interesting if we played the strip version," Kyle replied. "It's not my fault you're such a prude."
Tess whipped her head around and glared at him. "Kyle! We're not alone you moron!" She glanced meaningfully towards the door, where an expressionless Dernian continued to stare straight ahead, apparently ignoring their conversation completely.
"I understand. You're not an exhibitionist. We'll just wait 'til we get back to Earth for that version," Kyle told her comfortingly. He grinned when her fist whipped out in spite of herself and she socked him in the shoulder. "Ouch," he said mildly.
Tess scowled and allowed herself to fall back onto the bed. "I am sooooooooo bored," she whined. Their captivity had quickly declined from being scary to just downright annoying. Apparently no one cared what they did as long as they weren't roaming around the Citadel. Tess was even beginning to wonder if anyone really cared if the Queen was intimate with her bodyguard after all. It was beyond strange that they had locked them up together if they were trying to protect her virtue for Max after all.
She wondered if she was ever going to understand anything on this planet. Not for the first time, she wished that she [I]was[/I] back on Earth playing strip rock, paper, scissors with Kyle. At least on Earth she was allowed to be herself. Here she was constantly sitting on pins and needles, worried that she was doing the wrong thing, that she would somehow spoil everything and screw up Max's mission or Kyle's life or Jennetta's claim to the throne. She wondered if this was how she had felt all the time in her other life - as Sabrya. From the way she was treated, she didn't doubt it. There was no way that Sabrya could have been as stupid as everyone seemed to think she was. After all, Tess wasn't stupid this time around and weren't Max, Michael and Isabel all fairly close personality- wise to how Jaxon, Tristandor and Mirana were supposed to have been? Max had basically been [I]Max[/I], even when he thought he was Jaxon, and Michael was developing from a head-strong boy (which Tristandor [I]must[/I] have been to completely reject his people's ideals when joining the Illyrians) into a capable man. And from the little Tess knew about Mirana, she had apparently been slightly haughty but loving as well, just like Isabel.
Tess couldn't imagine the kind of life poor Sabrya must have lived. She had showed spunk by joining her brother in Illyria, but had then found herself trapped in a marriage to a man who didn't love her (as more than a sister anyway) and treated like a traitor and a ninny by her new people. It must have sucked.
"What are you thinking about?" Kyle asked now. Tess glanced at the guard again. Kyle seemed entirely comfortable with the shapeshifter's presence. They had both become used to it in the day or so they had been locked up here, but Tess couldn't help but wonder if the lack of expression on his face was just his way of hiding that he was taking in everything they were saying. She remembered things Maria had said about Ren, when Jennetta's bodyguard had been her guard during her time on Illyria. He had always seemed to be merely calmly listening to her when she ranted at him, but, in the end, it had been what he had learned from Maria that had resulted in his saving Jennetta from Tarsus. Who knew what their various guards were saving up to use against them later?
But, then, she really was sick of hiding things from Kyle. And talking about Sabrya was unlikely to result in a make-out session after all. They weren't both complete horndogs after all, to quote one of Michael's favorite words. She giggled in spite of herself, then felt a pang when she remembered how much she missed her brother.
"I'm just wondering about everyone else," Tess admitted. "Everything is so screwed up Kyle."
"I know," he said, sighing. "But it'll get better once Max is back. Then we can sort this whole mess out and go back to Earth."
"But we have to come back here," Tess reminded him. "To make sure Jennetta is secure on her throne."
"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "But things'll be different. There won't be any more walls." He stared at the guard, scowled, then looked back at her, his blue eyes suddenly scalding. "I hate this," he whispered. Tess felt her eyes widen as his hand started to inch across the bed towards her. She could not take her eyes off of it, felt her breath quickening.
Okay, so maybe she [I]was[/I] a horndog. Because spending so much time in close quarters with Kyle was beginning to remind her of how much she really, really wanted to be open about how much she loved him. They had only [I]ever[/I] kissed one time after all. It was downright ludicrous!
"Kyle!" She murmured urgently. "[I]Don't[/I]!"
Their eyes met for one charged moment and then he turned his head, sighing again. His arm came up to cover his face as he fell back against the pillows on the bed.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. She could almost see him closing himself off from her again.
"It's not your fault," he said after a long silence. "This just sucks."
"They're trying to make us break Kyle," she told him. "You know that. They want concrete proof to give to Max when he gets back. That I'm a traitor I mean." She paused. "They must have really hated me before."
Kyle moved his arm, turned his head to look at her. "The Illyrians?"
"I think so," Tess said. "They just don't respect me. I don't think they ever did before either."
"It doesn't matter what they think," he reminded her. "The only people who matter are Isabel and Michael." He trailed off, what he left unsaid lingering between them.
[I]And Max[/I].
Tess felt a flash of anger. "Are you ever going to get over it?" She demanded, raising her voice. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, knew that the guard was shifting, maybe to listen more closely. But at this point she didn't care.
"Over what?" Kyle asked, sounding a bit surprised.
"Over the fact that Liz chose Max over you?" Tess replied hotly. "Because I know that's what it's all really about - the way you feel about him. He's only [I]ever[/I] tried to be your friend, but you are just so jealous of him, you can't even see that, can you?"
Kyle stared at her, didn't reply. And, so, she continued, "And I understand that your father wasn't a very good one while he was investigating Max, but how is that [I]Max's[/I] fault? He didn't ask for the sheriff to do that! He even saved your life! But you act like that was something you wish he hadn't done, freaking out about how you don't want to change into an alien and blah, blah, blah!" Tess realized that she was quite losing control of herself, but she couldn't seem to stop, now that she had started. All of her own uncertainty and insecurities were coming out and so she had apparently decided to list all of Kyle's to avoid them.
"You've screwed with your own mind so much Kyle that you can't even understand that you might be someone's first choice. I don't even get how many times I can try and tell you that I don't want him, but you don't ever listen."
"You've [I]never[/I] told me that," Kyle said, sounding annoyed. "You've told me you love me, but you've [I]never[/I] told me you don't want him."
"Are you a complete idiot?" Tess shrieked. "I don't! I do not want Max! The end. Period." She was up on her knees, staring down at him. "[I]I don't love him![/I]"
Kyle sat up, stared past her at the guard. "Tess."
"It doesn't matter if I love him!" She yelled. "I don't have to love him to be his queen to these morons! Don't you get it? They don't understand [I]anything[/I]. Even the Illyrians, for all their blather about staying uncleansed, don't really get what it means to love someone. Milena more than proves that. She says she loves Max and, yet, she constantly betrays him. They're freaks! I'm not one of them and I don't want to be." She realized she was panting, took a deep breath. "It's my human side that loves you Kyle." She looked over at the guard, who was still staring at her without expression. "And I don't care who knows it anymore." She looked back at Kyle, placed both her hands on either side of his face and looked him right in the eye. "I would even die to prove it."
Kyle's eyes were bright as he swallowed and murmured, "Tess, why are you doing this?"
"Because if having them throw me in that damn Ring to be judged is the only way to prove that I love you, then I'll do it," Tess replied. She moved away from him, marched over to the guard and poked him in the chest. He didn't move. She heard Kyle behind her, obviously coming to stop her, but she ignored him. "Did you hear me buster? Hello? Is anyone in there? I want to be judged. Go tell that old goat Hamor so. The Ring will prove once and for all that Kyle and I belong together. I want it to show you all how stupid and archaic you all are." She glanced back at Kyle. "I mean, really! They managed to conquer space travel but they act like they live in the middle ages. It's absurd! If they need us at all, it's to pull them out of their own irony."
Kyle had stopped half-way across the chamber, was just staring at her open- mouthed. "Are you crazy?" He asked finally, a grin starting to break across his face.
"Yes," Tess told him. "I am crazy in love with you and I refuse to hide it anymore."
She realized that Kyle was looking over her head. "He's gone," he told her.
"I assume so," Tess said, beginning to smile. "I gave them just what they wanted after all."
"They'll be back soon."
"Yes, they will."
"So, are we going to waste the time until then?" Kyle asked. "I mean, I can't say that I'm thrilled that I'm about to be thrown to the wolves, but I think it's pretty much established that it's going to happen now."
She felt a pang of guilt, but realized that she wasn't really sorry. Not at all. "Probably." She hurried across the room and threw herself into his waiting arms. "I don't care anymore."
"What the hell," Kyle said, bringing his lips down and planting a firm kiss on hers. "I don't care anymore either. If I'm going to die, there's no one I'd rather do it for."
She pulled away slightly, placed her hands on his cheeks again and made him look her right in the eye again. "We're not going to die Kyle. This is right. It is what's meant to be. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't. I used to believe in destiny, but I don't anymore. Max says that we make our own, and if mine is to die with you, then the time has come. But I'm going to make it worth it first."
With that, she pulled his lips back to hers and let herself live.
To be continued.
