[u]Part 36[/u]

[I]Never could understand it, Why something so strong, As hard as you try to hold it Can turn out so wrong. Lying here beside you, I'm down on my knees.

Deliver me, Deliver me, I'm losing ground, You're the only one, Can't you see? Deliver me, 'Cause I hear the sound of your voice And I feel whole again babe. Please deliver me from the words we should have said, Deliver me from the shadows in my head. Baby please, deliver me.

I hear the sound of your voice and I know you'll deliver me.

Roch Voisine[/I]

Isabel opened her eyes to darkness. She felt her heart start to beat nervously as she attempted to move her hands to rub her eyes and she found that she couldn't. Where the hell was she? What had happened? The last thing she remembered was talking to Michael after he had returned from his strategy session with Jemma.

Her husband had approached her in the room they now shared. She had been relieved to see him. Whenever he left her alone she found herself thinking of Alex, found herself tempted to at least poke her head into his room to see how he was doing. But she knew if she did that, she would only hurt him more. She had to stay away from him until he had time to accept the new reality of their situation. She really didn't think it would take very long. He had never pressured her for any sort of major commitment after all. After Jennetta stopped mourning Ren, maybe she and Alex would find each other again. They had bonded instantly, those two, unlike she and Alex, who had circled each other tentatively for months.

Isabel had been in her room, trying to fall asleep, knowing that it was going to take all of her strength to open the portal long enough for their small army to use it. But Alex simply would not leave her alone, his face invading her thoughts, his expression accusing, but his dark eyes merely sad. Because, in spite of all of her attempts to dissuade herself, she knew that Alex loved [I]her[/I]. And knowing it made her feel guilty. Mainly because she loved him too.

But she knew that she couldn't avoid the truth any longer. She and Michael were meant to be together. If that wasn't the case, then why had all of her memories of their life together come back? She was destined for him. They had bonded, which meant a connection across life-times that could not be broken. She refused to fight it anymore. It was just too hard.

And seeing him when he had come to her had only reinforced it. Her heart had started to beat more quickly and her soul had called out to his, merely by being in his presence. [I]Tristandor.[/I]

"Why aren't you asleep?" He demanded gruffly, sitting beside her on the bed and reaching out to take her hand. "You need your rest Iz."

Hearing him call her Iz was painful. It had reminded her of Max and of the fact that this man sitting next to her had been like a brother to her for many years. It was difficult for her brain to accept [I]Michael[/I] as her mate. But her soul recognized Tris and refused to allow her brain to win. "I'm trying," she sighed heavily. "I just can't make my mind shut down."

His eyes had been averted from hers as he lightly stroked the back of her hand. "Let me help?" He asked gently.

"How?" She asked, curious. "Having you near is making me even [I]more[/I] jumpy," she admitted. It was true after all. Her blood was running more quickly through her veins, her heart aware of the proximity of her soulmate. Was this what it was like for Max and Liz all the time? Because, if so, it was absolutely exhausting. To never be able to shut down the connection, for even a little time.It was the one thing she found the most difficult about their newly reborn bond.

Isabel was someone who liked her privacy on occasion, something Alex had always respected, one of the reasons she had liked him so much. But, with Michael, it was as though there was no escape from him, even when they weren't together. If it had been Alex sitting beside her, she could have curled up in his arms and drifted off, secure and safe that he would be there when she woke up, ready to talk if she wanted to.

With Michael, all she wanted was to tear off his clothes and have her way with him - something that was not inherently [I]her[/I]. It wasn't that she hadn't felt that way about Alex on occasion - she certainly had - but, rather, that she missed the quiet moments most of all - moments that were about the fact that he was not just her boyfriend, but also her best friend. She was comfortable with Alex, attracted to him, yes, but also able to just [I]talk[/I] to him, something that didn't appear to be the case with Michael - which in fact had [I]never[/I] been the case. Even when they had merely shared a feeling of sibling kinship, they had argued more often than they had discussed things rationally.

"We've been told that we all share a bit of each other's gifts," Michael reminded her. "Why don't I use your ability to put you to sleep?"

Isabel had frowned, trying to meet his eyes. He was acting strangely evasive. He had been so careful about meeting her eyes lately, trying to assure her that he didn't regret abandoning Maria to try this with her, that the fact that he was avoiding her gaze now seemed a little odd.

It struck her abruptly that she didn't entirely trust Michael's sudden conversion. She had known how he felt about Maria and Jenny after all. That he had decided to thrust them aside, after denying that he would ever do it for so long, now struck her as a bit odd.

"Don't you trust me?" Michael asked. He [I]was[/I] looking at her now, his expression guarded. "You've always let Whitman help you go to sleep."

Well, he certainly played dirty. Now if she refused to allow him to put her to sleep, she would be admitting that she didn't entirely trust him as much as she did Alex. But, then, Alex had never used alien powers to help her relax. No, just being with him had been enough.

Isabel determinedly pushed Alex from her mind. "Of course I trust you," she snapped. "I just don't know if you'll be able to do it Michael. It's not that easy walking around in someone's mind you know."

"And you remember how I used to blow everything up?" Michael replied, suddenly sounding amused. "Iz, I've improved a lot since then. I'm not going to suck your brains out or anything."

"I know," Isabel replied. She took a deep breath. "Okay, go for it."

[It's not going to work. Michael will never have enough control.[/I]

It was her last thought before she lost consciousness.

And now she was awake again, bound and blindfolded. What on Earth had happened?

Isabel took deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down. She needed to try and get her bearings, needed to try and figure out where she was and how this had happened.

Once she focused, she realized almost instantly that she was in a car. She could hear the hum of the engine and the sound of wind whipping by, one of the vehicle's windows obviously cracked open.

Next she tried to determine how many people were in the car with her. She was apparently the only one in the back seat. Her cheek was pressed firmly against a plush seat and she was curled up, her head lightly touching one side of the car, her feet the other door. That meant likely no more than two people, the driver and potentially someone else in the passenger seat.

She reached out, attempting to use her mind control to probe the driver's mind. She didn't have an image of him or her in her mind of course, which was going to make this extremely difficult. But Michael wasn't the only one who had gained extraordinary control over his powers over the past couple of years. She found dreamwalking fairly easy when people were awake these days too. Her success with Pierce all those years ago, right after they had rescued Max from the White Room, had given her confidence that she could enter any mind at any time if her will was strong enough. It usually helped to know who the other person [I]was[/I], but it wasn't absolutely necessary.

Isabel expected it to be hard anyway, her captor probably aware of her capabilities and likely attempting to block her, particularly if he was alien. But it was surprisingly simple. Almost as if her enemy [I]wanted[/I] her to find a way in. Because, the instant she focused, she jerked with shock. She [I]knew[/I] this person.

"Alex!"

There was a long moment of silence. Still connected to him, Isabel could feel the tremor of fear that ran through her friend. He was obviously aware that she was going to be extremely pissed off at him. She actually [I]heard[/I] him consider not answering her, letting her wonder for a while longer.

"Alex Charles Whitman, don't even bother!" Isabel said, trying to make her tone as cold as possible. "I [I]know[/I] it's you."

Alex sighed. "Isabel, can you please get out of my mind?"

"Not until you tell me what the hell you're thinking," Isabel replied. She could feel Alex trying to throw her out of his head, but since part of him wanted her to know what was going on, he was finding it harder than he expected.

And an instant later she knew exactly what was happening because, in a way, she was reading his mind. "Michael helped you to do this?"

"Yes," Alex said, resigned. "It was the only thing we could think of."

"You think that if you get me away from him, than I'll snap out of it?" She wondered why she was so shocked that Michael had betrayed her. She had started to doubt if his intentions towards her were real after all.

"We only want to help you Izzy," Alex's tone was pleading. "You have to believe it. You don't love Michael. You've never loved Michael - not in the way you've been pretending to I mean."

"You don't know anything about my heart!" Isabel exclaimed. "Alex, stop this car. Where are we even going? We're going to miss the chance to open the portal!" But, from her little visit to his mind, she already knew that it was exactly what Michael and Alex intended. They didn't want her to open the gate to Illyria.

They [I]wanted[/I] her to abandon her brother and their friends. Which could only mean one thing.

"Who's controlling you?" Isabel whispered. "Alex, someone has to be. The last thing you'd ever want to do is leave Liz on Illyria."

"No one's controlling me Isabel," Alex replied quietly. "It's [I]you[/I] they're controlling and it's why Michael and I decided the only way to stop it is to get you away from Stonehenge."

Her blood ran cold. "Where are we going?" She repeated. "Alex, tell me."

"We're going to Scotland," Alex said, amenable enough. "We're getting as far away from that damn stone circle as we can without leaving this island."

"Oh my God." Isabel didn't say anything else for a long moment. She realized that she was no longer angry, just absolutely shocked. Michael and Alex were so sure that her mind was not her own that they were willing to leave their friends on Illyria, alone and threatened.

And, suddenly, she knew that they were absolutely right. Because as the car moved away from the site of the portal, the less her heart took every beat for Tristandor.

In fact, she couldn't even recall what she had loved about him in the first place. She still remembered their life together, but it didn't warm her blood, didn't make her soul sing as it had only hours before. It was all a pleasant memory, but nothing more.

"Alex, how far have we gone?" Isabel demanded into the silence that had sprung up again as Alex waited for her to process what he and Michael had figured out.

"We're about a hundred miles away," Alex told her. "You've been out of it for about two or three hours." There was another pause. "I'm really sorry Isabel. You know that neither Michael or I would ever do anything like this if we didn't think it was for your own good."

The fact that what they had done had placed Max and Liz and Kyle and Tess's lives on the line only reinforced the fact that she believed him. "I know," she whispered. "Alex, please. Stop the car. I swear I won't do anything. I just want you to untie me."

"Isabel."

"Alex, I swear. I swear it on Max's life." She could feel tears leaking out from her eyes, wetting the blindfold that covered them. "I want to figure this out. We have to go to Illyria tonight. I can't leave my brother there alone. I just can't." She could feel him wavering, could feel the car slowing. "You're right Alex. Whatever was happening to me.It's gone."

And it was. Completely. All she knew for certain was that, in spite of all of her memories, she did not love Michael as more than a brother. It was Alex she loved and she couldn't understand how she had ever even doubted it.

Alex seemed convinced because he said, "Okay. I can't just pull off the motorway though. It's too dangerous. We'll stop in the next town."

She waited impatiently, managing to finagle herself up into a seated position. Who had been controlling her and why? The more she tried to figure it out, the more frustrated she became, tapping her toe against the floor of the car, every mile Alex drove taking her further away from Stonehenge and the chance to save Max and the others.

"Alex? Do you guys have any idea who's doing it?" Isabel asked. "How did you figure this out?"

"It wasn't really me," Alex admitted. "I was having a little trouble seeing past.well, what was going on." Isabel felt a flash of guilt at the pain in his voice.

"Alex, I'm so sorry. None of this was ever about how I feel about you. You do know that?" She willed him to know it, her mind still slightly muddled by the sudden clarity of her feelings. How could she have not known that she was being controlled? But, then, she realized that she had not been in complete control of her own mind for a long time now - really not since she had tried contacting her mother months ago with the communicator orb they had found in the alien compound under the desert near Roswell.

It had been that attempt that had started the nightmares about everyone she loved dying, her memories of the deaths of Jaxon and Sabrya and Tristandor mixing with those of what she had thought were premonitions - Alex dying in her arms, Max and Liz perishing as well, together, in death as in life, puddles of their own blood seeping out from under them.

She had not had a single nightmare since she had arrived in England she realized abruptly, had not had a single bad dream of that type since she had started to remember her life with Tristandor. Was there some sort of connection there?

As her brain puzzled over where all those feelings for Michael had gone, she realized that Alex had not answered her question. "Alex? You [I]do[/I] know that I love you?"

He was still silent. She could hear gravel crunching under the tires as the car slowed down, finally coming to a stop. She heard a door open and slam shut and then the door against which she was leaning was opening and she had to sit up straight or tumble out. Isabel felt Alex gently reaching behind her head, untying the blindfold.

She blinked, the sudden light making her see double for a moment. She could see that it was nearing dusk. Looking out over the rolling hills behind where Alex had pulled off the road, she could see the sun setting, it's rays practically blinding.

Alex had pulled her to her feet beside him and was untying her hands now. "Sorry about the ropes," he said. "Michael just didn't want you waking up and accidentally blasting me before you understood what was going on."

Isabel felt her heart enter her throat at the thought of what she might have done to Alex in her own panic. It had not been unlikely that she would have fried him. She had been completely out of control of her own actions for a long time. She had never been someone who acted without thinking, unlike Michael. How their roles had switched! Now her almost brother was the one who planned carefully, thinking of every eventuality, while she went with whatever emotion was currently the strongest.

"Alex, I don't understand what's happened to me," Isabel whispered, feeling tears fill her eyes. "All I know is that if I go back there, I might lose myself again. But we [I]have[/I] to. I cannot leave them all alone on that planet Alex. I just [I]can't[/I]."

[I]I need my brother.[/I] Her heart was aching for Max, for his level-head and ability to see beyond the obvious - well, except for when it came to Liz of course, she amended wryly. She realized that, in the end, she wanted both Max [I]and[/I] Liz. They had become so integrated together in her psyche, Liz having helped her get through the long stretch when Max had been lost to them on Illyria, she could barely consider going to one without the other being present.

She could not desert them.

"Well, I guess we better try and get to the bottom of this," Alex replied calmly. He extended his hand, which she took gratefully. "And to do that we need to talk about how this started and exactly when. Because until we do that, we'll never be able to figure out who's controlling you."

Isabel felt her heart fill with gratitude. [I]Alex![/I] How she had missed him. She took his hand and they started to walk. Isabel realized that they were walking towards a small stone circle. She halted abruptly. "What are we doing [I]here[/I]?"

"I saw the sign for it," Alex explained carefully. "I thought it might help. It's probably better than a town. We're all alone out here."

"Alex, you and Michael think it's Stonehenge that's doing this to me!" Isabel exclaimed. "How can another stone circle help?"

"You've used lay lines before to access the parts of your mind you can't tap into normally," Alex replied. "It seems logical it might work again." He paused. "And Michael doesn't think it's Stonehenge doing it. He thinks it's Jemma Stafford, using it somehow."

Isabel frowned. "Jemma?" She shook her head. "But it started long before Jemma." She bit her lip. "Alex, I think it might have started with those nightmares. That's when I stopped being able to think for myself."

"You never did reach your mother that time Izzy."

And, it was only then, that she understood what Alex intended. She stared at the stone circle, illuminated in the dying light, looking so lovely, it made tears fill her eyes. "You want me to talk to my mother."

"Don't you think she'd be able to help?"

Isabel swallowed, suddenly afraid. It made perfect sense and, yet, she was unsure. While talking to her real mother had always been soothing and had sent her on the right path, this time it seemed [I]wrong[/I] somehow. But, she remembered the last time she had spoken to Milena, when her mother had allowed her to see that Liz still lived, that she should have believed her brother.

How could contacting Milena be wrong?

Isabel took a deep breath. "Okay." She smiled weakly at Alex. "I'll try."

Because, in the end, Isabel Evans decided, she would do absolutely anything to get her life back.

To be continued.