Chapter 6
A/N: Thank you all SO much for the reviews. You have no idea how happy you make me.
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"So how was your group session, Buffy?"
I'm sitting in Willow's office.
I told my mom what happened. She cried, she screamed, she was furious that I wouldn't tell her who did it. She doesn't understand. I'm barely holding on right now, telling would just make it worse.
I shrug at Willow. I'm ashamed of myself, that I can't pour out my feelings to all those people. Rather, I just sit there. I hope my courage builds up soon.
"Buffy, please, let me in. What really happened that night? What happened to you to make you go off the deep end only now? Please, sweetie, I just want to help you."
I'm thinking. . . Maybe I should, but-
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Willow nods at me.
"OK."
*****
2 Years Ago
"Buffy! Buffy, wait up!"
I turn around and see him walking up to me.
He is SUCH a hottie!
"Do you want to go out with me on Saturday?"
"Absolutely!"
I put on my biggest smile and rush off to tell my friends. Cordy'll be SO jealous!
~~~
Saturday
"Hey, Buff, you ready?"
I walk out the door with him after saying goodbye to my mother.
Once we reach the Bronze, he barely lets me out of his sight.
I start to get woozey. I don't know why, all I've had to drink is the root-beer he gave me.
After another few dances, he takes me out of the Bronze.
"There's this place behind the Bronze that I want to show you," he says.
I giddily nod my head. I walk beside him with a slight waver in my step. Can too many root-beers make you dizzy?
We're to his spot. It's not so special. Why did he bring me here?
"Who are you, Buffy?"
Who am I? What does he mean by-
A hand is clamped over my mouth. I'm pushed back up against the cold brick wall. What's going on?
A zipper pulls. A hand moves downwards. A scream is sounded.
Wait- no- what's he doing. . .
Words are shouted. A plea is whimpered. Why isn't he stopping?
A shiny object is pulled out of a bag. Skin is cut. So much blood. . .
No, no, no, no, no, no-
"Angel!"
Darkness.
*****
Present
"The essay."
I nod. The essay is the cause of this emotional breakdown. The question, the soul-searching.
You can't search your soul without bringing up horrifying memories.
You try so hard. . . Never good enough.
Tears stream down my face. I pull up my sleeve and show her the long scar travelling down my arm.
Her face is showing shock, revulsion, fear. . .
"I told you that you weren't ready."
..........................................................................................................................................
I walk out of the school with my face still stained by the tears I have cried.
How can you live with yourself, how do you keep from slitting your wrists, how do you just get through the day?
I don't know. I was thinking about giving up until I met him. But I'll try. . . for him. I'll live. . . if for nothing else than the fact that he believes in me.
Step by step, little by little. First I have to love myself again, Willow says. No one can save me but myself, she says.
It helps that he will try, even if he can't be the knight in shining armor he wants to be.
I've gotta get on my own 'Trusty Steed' and rescue myself.
I'm halfway home.
A car pulls up next to me.
The window rolls down.
"Hello, lover."
..........................................................................................................................................
TBC. . .
A/N: Please review! They are my inspiration. Sorry for the short chapter, I've had a lot of homework lately. Love to all,
Andi
A/N: Thank you all SO much for the reviews. You have no idea how happy you make me.
..........................................................................................................................................
"So how was your group session, Buffy?"
I'm sitting in Willow's office.
I told my mom what happened. She cried, she screamed, she was furious that I wouldn't tell her who did it. She doesn't understand. I'm barely holding on right now, telling would just make it worse.
I shrug at Willow. I'm ashamed of myself, that I can't pour out my feelings to all those people. Rather, I just sit there. I hope my courage builds up soon.
"Buffy, please, let me in. What really happened that night? What happened to you to make you go off the deep end only now? Please, sweetie, I just want to help you."
I'm thinking. . . Maybe I should, but-
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Willow nods at me.
"OK."
*****
2 Years Ago
"Buffy! Buffy, wait up!"
I turn around and see him walking up to me.
He is SUCH a hottie!
"Do you want to go out with me on Saturday?"
"Absolutely!"
I put on my biggest smile and rush off to tell my friends. Cordy'll be SO jealous!
~~~
Saturday
"Hey, Buff, you ready?"
I walk out the door with him after saying goodbye to my mother.
Once we reach the Bronze, he barely lets me out of his sight.
I start to get woozey. I don't know why, all I've had to drink is the root-beer he gave me.
After another few dances, he takes me out of the Bronze.
"There's this place behind the Bronze that I want to show you," he says.
I giddily nod my head. I walk beside him with a slight waver in my step. Can too many root-beers make you dizzy?
We're to his spot. It's not so special. Why did he bring me here?
"Who are you, Buffy?"
Who am I? What does he mean by-
A hand is clamped over my mouth. I'm pushed back up against the cold brick wall. What's going on?
A zipper pulls. A hand moves downwards. A scream is sounded.
Wait- no- what's he doing. . .
Words are shouted. A plea is whimpered. Why isn't he stopping?
A shiny object is pulled out of a bag. Skin is cut. So much blood. . .
No, no, no, no, no, no-
"Angel!"
Darkness.
*****
Present
"The essay."
I nod. The essay is the cause of this emotional breakdown. The question, the soul-searching.
You can't search your soul without bringing up horrifying memories.
You try so hard. . . Never good enough.
Tears stream down my face. I pull up my sleeve and show her the long scar travelling down my arm.
Her face is showing shock, revulsion, fear. . .
"I told you that you weren't ready."
..........................................................................................................................................
I walk out of the school with my face still stained by the tears I have cried.
How can you live with yourself, how do you keep from slitting your wrists, how do you just get through the day?
I don't know. I was thinking about giving up until I met him. But I'll try. . . for him. I'll live. . . if for nothing else than the fact that he believes in me.
Step by step, little by little. First I have to love myself again, Willow says. No one can save me but myself, she says.
It helps that he will try, even if he can't be the knight in shining armor he wants to be.
I've gotta get on my own 'Trusty Steed' and rescue myself.
I'm halfway home.
A car pulls up next to me.
The window rolls down.
"Hello, lover."
..........................................................................................................................................
TBC. . .
A/N: Please review! They are my inspiration. Sorry for the short chapter, I've had a lot of homework lately. Love to all,
Andi
