[u]Part 39[/u]

"But how can it be safe if you still don't know who's doing it?" Pause. "Yes Michael, I [I]get[/I] that Jemma is investigating, but does she really expect to find out who it is in the, oh, three hours we have until the portal closes again?" Another longer pause. "Fine. I'll tell her. She wants to go anyway."

Alex was speaking in a low voice into his cell phone. Isabel could tell that he was trying not to disturb her, but she was presently so in tune with her surroundings, even the fact that he was a good thirty feet away from where she sat on the damp grass in the middle of the stone circle didn't stop his words from being as clear as a bell. Her eyes were closed but she could tell exactly where he was, could actually [I]see[/I] him pacing in her mind's eye.

The power surging through her veins frightened a small part of her, but mostly made her feel whole in a way she had not since the whole Michael/Tristandor debacle had started. In fact, she felt better than she had in months. It was only when the weight had been lifted that she understood how out of control of her own mind she had been for a long time. She had thought that when those horrible dreams - the ones where everyone she loved died in horrible, bloody ways - ended recently that she was back to herself, but it was only now that she could see that it was not true. Those dreams had only been the first step in a very well-orchestrated plan to weaken her mind and, then, attack when she was ill-prepared to deal with it.

Isabel sighed heavily, tuned Alex out again, returning his well-loved voice to the section of her brain that was presently ignoring the sound of crickets and the traffic noises from the motorway. Whatever Michael was telling him could wait. For the moment she had to focus all of her energy on reaching her mother.

For what felt like the hundredth time she reached out with all her senses, pulling the power from the lay-lines which met underneath the stone circle.

[I]Mother! Mother, please answer me![/I] She waited, all senses tuned for the slightest tremor in the fabric of the dream plain. But, still, there was nothing.

[I]This is taking too long. Max needs me. The longer this takes, the less likely it is that we'll get back in time to open the portal and the more likely it is that we're just going to abandon them all to a fate worse than death. Every second we waste is one more second in which they might be taking them away from us.[/I] Isabel let her eyes snap open and stared at the standing stone she was now facing in frustration.

Because, in the end, that was what brainwashing did. It was what [I]cleansing[/I] did and it was why it was wrong. It took away the vital part of every individual that made them who they were. Max had already suffered it once. Isabel was not going to let her brother or Liz or Tess or Kyle go through that. Not when she had the ability to help them by opening the portal and sending reinforcements after them. In her heart, Isabel knew that, to Max, being brainwashed again [I]would[/I] be a fate worse than death. And now that she was finally beginning to get control of her own mind again, she could certainly understand why. She had almost lost herself because someone had been messing with her head. But that was over now. She would not let it interfere with her goal any more.

Isabel ran her hands through her hair, glared at the stone. Where was Milena? She realized that it was the only time since first contacting her mother that she had actually been unable to reach her. Occasionally it had taken longer than others, but it had certainly never taken this long, nor had she ever felt the complete emptiness she felt now as she tried to connect with her mother's soul.

It had been Jemma who had told her that. That when she spoke to her mother telepathically, they were really connecting souls, [I]essences[/I]. It was particularly easy for them to do it, being as they shared the close bond of being mother and child, as well as being dreamwalkers. Isabel had liked thinking of it in those terms - that for the few precious moments she and her mother spoke mentally, their souls were united.

She frowned. For some reason tonight she didn't like the idea nearly as much. Becoming aware of how easily her mind could be controlled, in spite of the power she was supposed to possess over it.It was not a pleasant thought. And, in the end, what did she really know about her mother anyway?

Isabel blinked. Now where had [I]that[/I] thought come from? She took a deep breath, closed her eyes again and forced herself to examine her feelings. Maybe this sudden aversion to completely opening her thoughts to another being was what was blocking her from reaching Milena. An unconscious reluctance [I]was[/I] completely understandable, considering what she had been forced to feel because someone else had willed it. But why would she be feeling this way about her mother of all people? Milena had only ever been kind and loving the few times Isabel had spoken with her.

[I]Except for the first time.[/I]

The thought appeared unbidden, a natural progression from the direction her musings had taken. Isabel was dismayed to realize it was true. The very first time Milena had ever spoken to her telepathically had not been pleasant at all. It had been back when Max was missing and they had no hope at all that they were ever going to see him again when, abruptly, her mother had been there. The whole experience had been quite horrifying and it had [I]hurt[/I] too. It had physically hurt her.

[I]Use your dreams.[/I]

Her mother's last instruction to her from that first time ran through her mind like a pointed dart.

For Isabel, her dreams had always been a safe haven. They had been a security blanket for a vulnerable girl growing up [I]different[/I] from everyone around her, the one place she could control. But after her mother had thrust her way into her mind, her dreams had ceased being a comfort zone, had become a battle field instead. And, yet, she had continued to retreat to her dreams, in spite of it.

[u]Use your dreams.[/I]

It no longer seemed like an instruction, a hint, but, rather, an order - almost a demand.

Isabel climbed to her feet, her fists clenched at her sides, relieved for the first time that she had been unable to reach Milena. Something was not right with any of this. Until she figured out exactly what, she would not risk using her abilities again. Opening her mind at all was dangerous. Her gut was telling her so and the fact that she was even beginning to suspect her mother of evil.

She needed a break from it all.

Isabel could see Alex waiting for her just outside the stone circle. He was leaning forward slightly, as though unsure whether she was done and unwilling to interrupt her if she wasn't. Because it was June, it wasn't completely dark yet, but it was getting close. She felt a shiver run down her spine, glanced at her watch. Only three hours until midnight - the end of the solstice. And they still had to drive back.

They [I]needed[/I] to get through that portal. Circumstances were now even more desperate because Isabel felt that the only place she was really going to get any answers about any of this was on Illyria itself. She would come face to face with her mother - finally - would see that the way her suspicions were leaning was ridiculous. She would meet other dreamwalkers who would teach her to manage her own mind, to protect herself from outside influence.

"No luck?" Alex asked as she joined him.

"No," Isabel admitted. "But Alex, I don't think it's a bad thing."

His gaze narrowed with concern. "Isabel, what's wrong? I can tell from your face that something is wrong. Did someone try and get to you again?" His tone was angry. He was starting to glance around the desolate countryside suspiciously. "I [I]knew[/I] we hadn't gone far enough!"

Her heart thumped with affection for him. How could she have so taken him for granted? His constant concern and desire to protect her, which had once felt a little stifling, now warmed her soul in a way she could not even explain to herself. The lack of it for the past week -the lack of [I]him[/I] - it all came rushing over her, bringing tears to her eyes.

Alex had turned back by now, saw this and real panic crossed his face. "What? Izzy, what is it?"

"I love you."

Alex started, stared at her. "What?"

"I said I love you," Isabel repeated, taking a step forward and touching his face. "I hope you know that through all of this, it was the one thing I [I]never[/I] stopped knowing."

"I love you too," Alex said, reaching out and pulling her against him. "I knew you would come back to me. I'm just sorry I wasn't patient enough to wait for you. I promise never to kidnap you again."

Isabel snorted, dismayed that he was starting to blame himself. "Alex, you are the soul of patience. If I looked [I]patience[/I] up in the dictionary, your picture would be beside it. How you even put up with me."

"You're worth it," he interrupted, pulling back and staring right into her eyes. "As much as you try and pretend you're not, you [I]are[/I] worth it Izzy. I would wait for you forever."

"Alex, I don't want you to [I]wait[/I] anymore," Isabel smiled. "I'm [I]glad[/I] you kidnapped me. I don't really think I would have found my way back without you. You are my anchor Alex Whitman. You see me for who I really am and you keep me grounded in her. I [I]am[/I] Isabel Evans and that is who I want to stay. Because Isabel Evans belongs to you and always will."

Their gaze remained locked for several long moments, both overcome by the emotion of finally baring their souls. Isabel knew that she had kept herself slightly removed from him since the beginning. It was going to end now. She had almost lost herself because of it. It was scary to turn your heart and soul over to another person, but the experience of having it ripped away from her had taught her one thing above all others. The only person she trusted to hold hers was Alex. And she would tell him so every day for the rest of their lives. Because she didn't tell him enough and he [I]deserved[/I] to know.

Alex cleared his throat. She could see that his dark eyes were shining slightly, as though he was feeling a little teary. "I want to kiss you. Is it okay if I kiss you?" He asked, sounding a little breathless, like he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

"Kiss away." Isabel beamed at him, felt her heart starting to pound against her rib-cage in anticipation.

When his lips met hers, she felt her tears finally begin to fall, but not in sorrow. For the first time in her life, she actually knew what it meant to cry because you were happy, because your heart was so full, it was the only way to even go on, to let some of it out.

He filled her heart. Tristandor might have been Mirana's love, but Alex was hers, and she was never going to let anyone try and make her forget it again.

And to do that, they needed to get through that portal.

Isabel pulled back slightly, smiled at him. "We should go," she whispered.

"I know," Alex replied. "I'm annoyed, but I know." He looked around. "Let's come back though. I like it here. This is one stone circle that's going to hold fond memories."

"I promise we'll come back someday," Isabel said. "We'll bring our kids and tell them that this is where their mommy finally opened her eyes."

"Kids?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "Are you proposing to me your highness? Isn't that my job?"

"It certainly is," Isabel replied. "And it better be good buster."

"Well, great. Now I have to worry about this?" Alex pretended to be outraged. "I can only handle one crisis a day you know. You'd think that exorcising your past-life identity would be enough for you, but [I]no[/I]."

Isabel sighed. "Are you going to shut-up and give me another quick kiss before we drive for a hundred miles, or do I have to take matters into my own hands?"

Alex grinned. "Yes ma'am. Or should I say yes your highness? I probably should, it being more accurate and all."

Isabel just rolled her eyes and kissed him instead.

**********************************************

[b]The Ring, Illyria[/b]

"Are you scared?" Tess whispered, clutching Kyle's hand tightly as the transport in which they were riding pulled to a stop. She could feel her heart beating double-time against her ribcage, but she wasn't really nervous. Amazingly enough, she was excited.

She knew this was right. Even though she had no idea what power governed the Ring or what it truly meant to be judged, she knew that she had made the right decision by damning the consequences and showing the Illyrians that she loved Kyle. It had been wrong to deny it. They had both spent far too much time lying to themselves. Lying to complete strangers was just pointless and annoying. Allowing people she didn't even care about to force her to hide her feelings.It had become unacceptable.

But while she knew that Kyle loved her back, she couldn't help but worry that she had given him little choice in the matter. It was she who had confronted the guard after all and while he had accepted it at the time, he had been entirely too quiet since they had left the Citadel.

"I'm scared," Kyle admitted. Tess felt her heart drop with disappointment. He was looking out the window of the transport at the Ring, framed by two of the planet's moons, which were shining down brightly, lighting up the whole of the Gilded Plain so that it shone like its namesake.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Kyle looked at her sharply. "I'm not scared that we're doing this," he amended quickly. "I'm not pretending I understand what all this "judging" crap means, but I know it's going to be fine. Hell, if Michael and Maria survived it, we'll pass with flying colours."

Tess narrowed her gaze. "So then.?" The last was raised in the form of a question.

"I'm scared what passing means," Kyle replied, grinning wryly. "I guess I have to stop complaining about all the alien stuff if I'm going to be with one."

Tess rolled her eyes. "Kyle."

"Tess, I'm serious," Kyle interrupted her. "I know that I've been a total ass about all of it for a long time. It's just.I can't explain it. It's hard to finally accept it and it's even harder to know that I should have a long time ago. I fought it for so long and so hard."

"Why?" Tess asked. "Seriously, what is it about it that freaks you out so much?" She tried not to sound hurt. She was, a bit, but she was more interested in the way he thought than anything. If this was going to work then they needed to be honest with each other, needed to [I]understand[/I] each other. And it was really the first chance they'd had to be alone since arriving on Illyria. Ironic that, but it was true. He had tackled she and Max through the portal and they hadn't had a moment to themselves since. Even when they shared their prison, they had never been alone.

Well, that wasn't entirely accurate. The one time they [I]had[/I] been alone, when their guard had run off to tell Hamor that she had broken, they had had much better things to do. She smiled slightly, her skin warming just at the thought of it.

And, now, here they were finally alone, waiting to be judged. It was actually pretty funny.

"What?" Kyle demanded. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Sorry," Tess demurred, blushing. "I was just thinking that we haven't had much chance to talk about any of this. But I want to talk about it Kyle. Please don't worry that you're going to hurt my feelings. I just want to know."

Kyle stared at her for a long moment, as though he was assessing whether she was stretching the truth or not. Finally he shrugged and said slowly, "I guess the fact that I didn't get much of a choice was part of it." She could tell that he was still tentative, like he was worried that what he said would somehow alienate her. "It all just happened so fast. I was dating Liz one day and then the next she went all bananas on me. I swear to God, I barely even knew Max Evans existed before she started being all secretive about him. And then suddenly my dad's asking me all these questions about him. It just annoyed the hell out of me. [I]He[/I] annoyed the hell out of me. And then suddenly, after he healed me, all I could think about was the fact that I was going to be just like him."

Tess frowned, "So this is [I]still[/I] about Max?" She asked, trying not to sound frustrated.

Kyle sighed. "No. It's never really been about him. I think I just felt railroaded or something. I felt like I was being pulled into something I wanted nothing to do with and it pissed me off. And then I went and fell in love with you."

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"It's not. Of course it's not," Kyle replied firmly. "I love you. And you know what I've finally come to realize? If it wasn't for Max Evans and all the crap knowing him has rained down on me..actually let me rephrase that.all the stuff that I [I]thought[/I] was crap, I never in a million years would have met you. If Liz hadn't been shot, if Max hadn't healed her, Nasedo never would have brought you to Roswell. And if that hadn't happened, I never would have had the chance to even know you."

"So then all the crap was worth it?" Tess asked, more confused now than she had been when they started the conversation.

Kyle reached out with the hand that wasn't clenched tightly in hers and gently touched her face. "God yes. I would morph into Yoda if it meant being with you."

She laughed. "You really are obsessed with Yoda, aren't you?" When he looked surprised at that, she explained further, "You and Alex.that day in the compound, when Jennetta went into the pod.You were both obsessed with the Star Wars metaphors."

"You remember that?" Kyle asked, sounding amazed.

"I remember everything you've ever said Kyle," Tess admitted, flushing again. "I've loved you for a long time, even if I hadn't even admitted it to myself."

He seemed pleased, but apparently decided to joke, seeing that she was embarassed, "Well, he is pretty cool. Yoda I mean. Even if he is three feet tall and green and slimy." Kyle was momentarily pensive. "You don't suppose I'll come back from this judging thing with the Force do you? 'Cause that would be kind of cool." He paused, then his expression brightened. "Hey! Maybe this Ring thing [I]has[/I] the Force."

"Kyle, I don't think the Ring has the Force."

"Do you know that for sure?" He demanded, grinning. "I mean, [I]for[/I] sure, for sure?"

"Well, no," Tess admitted. "I just don't think it does."

"I wonder what it [I]is?[/I]" Kyle said, staring out at it again. "The whole thing is just kind of weird."

"I don't know," Tess replied, laying her head on his shoulder and following his gaze to the magnificent stone circle which held so much sway over the inhabitants of this planet. She wished she did though. She wondered if she had understood it any better when she had been Sabrya. It was unlikely. She and Jaxon had not been judged as far as she knew, no attempt to pretend that their marriage was anything more than a political act. It was strange that only couples who claimed the right to be together because they loved each other were judged. Criminals and lovers. Another irony that that the Illyrians failed to recognize. Was it the inherent fear on this planet of all-consuming emotion that required it? Even the Illyrians, who opposed cleansing, seemed afraid of strong feeling. It was a crime here.

Tess felt for them. Because anyone who didn't allow themselves to feel what she felt for Kyle.Well, they were missing out, plain and simple.

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes. "I wonder what's taking so long?" Tess finally said. "I mean, while I'm not scared, I would like to get this over with."

"I was just wondering the same thing," Kyle replied. She could hear the frown in his voice. "I can see Hamor over there. He doesn't look very happy."

Tess leaned over his lap, stared in the direction he was pointing. "What's he doing?"

"I saw him talking into his communicator a few minutes ago," Kyle answered. "He's been pissed off since then."

Tess frowned. "I wonder if he talked to Max?"

"That's what I was thinking," Kyle muttered. "Hamor seemed pretty hot to trot to get us out here. I can't see what's holding him back now if it isn't his royal highness." The last said with a sarcastic twinge that made Tess roll her eyes.

"Must you always say it like that?" Tess demanded. "I thought you said you were over your Max envy."

"Sorry," Kyle smirked. "Habit."

Tess sighed, realized that Kyle was unlikely to ever give Max a break. It was just too inherently part of his make-up now. And she wasn't really in the mood to get into a fight about it anyway. It didn't seem to bother Max after all. "Well, I'm tired of waiting," she announced. She reached across Kyle again, hit the mechanism that was supposed to open the door. "Damn. It's locked."

"Duh. We [I]are[/I] still prisoners Tess, even if we're here by choice."

"I am still the queen," she replied huffily. "And I refuse to be kept sitting here an instant longer." She started to pound on the window to get the attention of one of the guards standing nearby. "Hello! Hey you! Come here!"

The guard nearest them turned his head and regarded her suspiciously. He fingered something on his belt and the window against which she was pounding slid open silently. Tess would have fallen right through it if Kyle hadn't grabbed her by the back of her dress. "Yes your highness?" He sounded completely deferential, in spite of the circumstances in which she and Kyle found themselves.

"What's taking so long?" She demanded.

"I am not sure your highness," the guard admitted.

"Well find out," Tess snapped, then was ashamed. It wasn't the guard's fault after all. "Please," she added meekly. She heard Kyle snort in amusement behind her.

The guard nodded. "Very well your highness." The window slid shut. She watched him walk towards Hamor with satisfaction.

"Are you sure you're not going to miss being queen?" Kyle asked, apparently still amused. "You're pretty good with the orders."

"I don't have to be a queen to be annoyed when I'm kept waiting," Tess replied, tossing her head.

"Now you sound like Isabel. Patience is a virtue Tess."

She knew he was teasing her and she also knew that he wanted her to react, so she did. It was better than sitting there bored and still a little worried, even if she did want to be judged. "I am [I]extremely[/I] patient," she argued. "I put up with you don't I?"

"Touche."

"That would be touché." Tess laughed in spite of herself.

"Touche, touché, same dif," Kyle grinned. "It's like the chips, fries thing Isabel and Michael are constantly arguing about. I say potato, you say patato."

"Kyle, no one says patato."

"Well Tess, I beg to differ. If some people didn't, then there wouldn't be that saying, now would there?"

She stared at him. "Why are we even discussing this? This is probably the dumbest conversation I have ever had."

"Are you bored?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, no."

"Are you scared?"

Tess reflected on this for a moment. "Not really, no."

"I rest my case."

"You are insane, you do know that?" Tess shook her head, leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the lips.

"If this is insanity," he murmured against her lips, "Then count me in." She shivered when his hands wound through her hair, pulling her closer.

"Me too," she sighed.

What seemed like moments later, but was probably close to several minutes, Tess became aware of someone clearing their throat. "I hate to interrupt guys."

Tess's eyes snapped open and she stared over Kyle's shoulder in amazement. "Oh my God! Max!" She shrieked, crawling over Kyle and throwing herself out of the now open transport door and into Max's arms. She chose chose to ignore Kyle's snorted, "Typical."

Tess hugged Max hard. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"I'm surprised to hear you say that. You looked pretty preoccupied," Max replied wryly, setting her on her feet. "No wonder you got yourself into trouble while I was gone."

"We tried Max, I swear. I just.I couldn't pretend anymore." She glanced over her shoulder at Kyle, only then realizing that he was hugging Liz. "Liz!"

Liz turned, her eyes bright with happiness. "Hi Tess!" She moved forward and hugged her.

Tess pulled away, stared at her friend carefully. "Are you okay? I mean, really?"

"I'm okay," Liz replied firmly. She smiled past Tess at Kyle, who was hovering. "I'm perfectly fine. Really."

"God Liz, you have no idea how much everyone missed you," Tess said quietly. "I didn't think some of us were going to make it. I'm so glad you're okay." She pulled Max's girlfriend against her again, reflecting on how strange it was that this girl, this girl who she had once hated with every ounce of her being, was now among the people she most admired and loved in the universe.

Liz pulled her aside slightly, out of the earshot of the boys, her arm still around her shoulder. Tess watched Max's gaze follow them, as though even now he was loathe to let Liz step more than two feet away from him. It was sweet, but Tess felt a twinge of concern. Liz wasn't going to like being coddled for long. She made a mental note to remind Max of this. "I take it things are finally okay between you and Kyle?" Liz was saying when Tess tuned back in.

"Yes," Tess said, sighing happily. "I think he still has some issues, but being here.it's really brought us together. At least we're both on the same page now."

"I'm glad. I'm really glad Tess." Liz smiled. "I'm just happy we got here in time to stop the judgment."

Tess blinked, then frowned. "Wait a minute. We're not going to be judged anymore?"

"Of course not," Liz answered, looking at her strangely. "Max forbid it."

"What?" Tess stared over to where Max and Kyle were talking quietly, both looking a little tense. "Excuse me for a minute Liz."

She marched over to the two guys just in time to hear Max say, "It's not happening Kyle so just forget it."

"You better not be talking about what I think you're talking about Max Evans!"

Max's head whipped around and he stared at her in surprise. "What's wrong Tess?"

"Kyle and I [I]want[/I] to be judged."

"What?" Max demanded, sounding annoyed. "Don't be ridiculous!"

Kyle's arms were folded. "It's true Max."

"Max, it's the only way that our relationship will ever be accepted on this planet," Tess argued. "Michael and Maria did it and I think all four of us need to do it too."

"Tess, we know nothing about how that thing works," Max argued. "I am not risking either of you with some stupid ritual that means nothing. And I am certainly not risking Liz."

Tess grimaced when she realized that Hamor had come over and was listening to Max, a scowl on his face. "You don't make my decisions for me Max." He opened his mouth to argue, but Tess held up her hand and continued, "You can't have it both ways. Either you're the king and I'm your wife and you get to make the choice about whether I'm guilty or not, or I'm not your wife and I get to do what I want."

"Jaxon, the queen [I]must[/I] be judged," Hamor broke in. "It must be done or she must be put to death. She has committed treason. I don't pretend to understand any of the relationships you people have formed in your years away, but this is how our planet is governed. If there is any hope of achieving a lasting peace, we cannot ignore the few things we and the Dernians agree upon."

"And I want it anyway," Tess repeated. She reached out and took Kyle's hand, meeting his eyes to make sure she was speaking for him too. When he nodded firmly, she continued. "We [I]need[/I] this Max."

She saw Max glance at Liz for guidance. She was frowning, as though uncertain too. "I think that they may be right Max. We can't totally reject everything Illyria and Dernia stand for. If we do that, they're not going to listen to us at all when we try and put Jennetta on the throne."

"Liz, you're not saying that you want to be judged too?" Max sounded horrified.

Liz sighed. "Of course I don't want to be Max, but I think I have to be." She looked at Hamor. "Tarsus wanted to have me judged right after I got here." She closed her eyes briefly, as though the memory was painful. Tess felt her heart go out to her friend, wondered what she had gone through in the weeks since they had seen her last. "I don't think I would have survived that one. His plans for me were wrong. But this time." Liz's gaze locked with Max's again. He looked like he wanted to be ill, but Tess knew that he could not say no to Liz. Even if it meant the difference between her life and her death, in this instance, when she wanted it so badly, he would not say no.

"We are bonded," Liz said quietly. They all heard her, but Tess knew that she was speaking to Max alone. "And if I have to go through judgment to prove we belong together, I'll do it. I want all the doubts gone once and for all."

Tess stepped away from Kyle and took Liz's hand. The dark-haired girl turned her head and regarded Tess with surprise. "You won't be alone," Tess said. "We'll do it together."

Hamor's voice broke the tense silence that fell over them all. "So be it."

To be continued.