Summary: I don't know. This came
about on a whim and it resembles another fic here (sorry to the author
if she's reading) but I felt like writing it so here it is. Wanted to make
it a Rukawa and Mitsui friendship kind of thing (don't ask why, I don't
know either) but it's kind of hard. I don't know. We'll see. This is not
going to be all humour though (assuming people will find it funny 'cause
I don't do humour). There's gonna be some heavy stuff. I haven't figured
out what yet, but I will.
I'm dreaming. Probably snoring. I don't know. But I'm running after a pretty butterfly that shines with glitter in shades of yellow through a vast spread of grass up to my waist that tickles me when I run. There is something about this butterfly. I don't know what. But it doesn't matter because, oh, I'm catching up! I'm grasping air now, and it's embarrassing how I cannot catch a butterfly when I catch basketballs so deftly with these awesome hands.
Shit. I see a cliff before me. Somehow, the green has become grey. So has the butterfly. It's become a moth. A moth! What happened to my sweet, wonderful dream?! I was running pretty fast and I carry incredible momentum with me, so when I try to stop, I can't. I fall over the edge and...
*thud*
...something hits me in the arse. And it really, really hurts.
"Kuso," I mutter. When I look around me, I don't see anything sinister or dark. The moth is gone. So is the cliff. They are replaced by many pairs of eyes, all staring at me. I spot one particularly angry one and...oh. I am in class.
"Rukawa Kaede," the stupid teacher bark. "Care to share with us your very intriguing dream?"
Some students snigger. Others remain silent. A few girls gasp, in shock or something like that, it doesn't matter to me. They are probably thinking what an injustice it is that the teacher is picking on me. Hell, they are probably those idiots who stake out the gym before practice and screech like slaughtered chickens in my face. Man, they are irritating.
I don't answer. I roll my eyes. I get up from the floor, brushing away a helping hand and settling back into my chair. Immediately I feel a sore in my butt. Oh, just great, I had to fall on my arse, of all places. How did I ever achieve such a feat anyway? Normal people fall sideways and land on their arms or their thighs. I don't know how I landed on my butt.
But whatever. I, Rukawa Kaede, do not give the slightest shit. I lean back in my chair and cross my legs. I want to try to stay awake this time, instead of falling asleep as usual, because apparently, my grades have slipped, although I didn't know it was high in the first place, and if I don't show signs that I'm making an effort in class, the school will take me off the basketball team. And that cannot happen.
Actually, about the grades, I think they have slipped even more, as in I'm going from an F to a U. U for under grade.
That is pretty funny. I can't be bothered to laugh.
"Rukawa Kaede!" The teacher is suddenly in front of me, glaring in my face. I suppose he expects me to be frightened. Honestly, who can get frightened by that dough face? He has holes everywhere and he's balding, and he looks a total joke. He should just retire before he burns out and makes a fool out of himself. Oh wait, he's already accomplished that.
Okay, I will answer the poor sod. I grunt.
"Do you think you can fall asleep in class anytime you want?" he booms. Man, his voice is noise to the ears. I fear my eardrums may burst.
"This is Mathematics! It is not an easy subject! Do you think you're good at it? Do you think you can pass without paying any attention to my lessons? Huh? Answer me!"
"Do a'hou."
That was a Freudian slip. I didn't mean to say it. After that crazy dream my mouth seems to have a mind of its own. Or rather, I seem to have a mind of my own. Um, that doesn't make sense. Nevermind.
The teacher's face is almost as red as that baka Sakuragi's whenever I make a dunk. I can even swear that I saw a vein pop in the poor teacher's forehead.
"RUKAWA KAEDE!" Now he is booming for real. His loud, rough voice almost shattered the windows. And they are made of plastic.
"Is that the way to talk to your sensei? Is that respect? You are such a rude, cocky young man! You don't even deserve a place in this school! You are..."
Blah blah bliddy blah. I have heard this tune a million times before, and it's really beginning to bore me. I feel my eyelids closing again. This teacher is so boring that there isn't any distinction between him being angry and him being not angry. Both eventually meet at the same point, like two non-parallel lines: He is boring, and one day he'd probably bore himself to death.
"...detention after school!"
What else is new?
I can answer that question, actually. I'm making an effort to pay attention to this raving lunatic's boring lesson on differentiation. He is explaining how the process works, what a differentiated expression represents, stupid stuff that even a child knows. Man, what a waste of my time. I should be out practicing my game to make it top in the entire country. It's such a drag to sit through lessons about things you already know.
"Now, differentiate 2x-1,"
he drones. "What do you get?"
Oh, fucking please. This is child's play. This is so amazingly easy. This is 1+1=2. What kind of moron wouldn't know the answer?
"Hideo?"
"Um. 1?"
I roll my eyes. The answer is 2, you stupid, stupid baka.
This school is so gonna be
the death of me.
*****
"Rukawa-kun!"
"Ahhhhhhhh! Rukawa-kun! He's so kawaii!"
"Oh my god, it's him! Oh my god, he just walked past me! Oh my god, he smells sooooooo good!"
Oh my god, can you be any more annoying? I smell like a frigging garbage can, for crying out loud. I've been sweating for the entire lunch period as it's so damn hot in here. What were the school administration thinking when they decided not to install air-conditioners in this place? It's like hell, only a few hundred degree celsius hotter.
I sit down at an unoccupied table by myself and take out my food. It comes in a brown paper bag and its contents never fail to be squashed by lunch. I look inside. An apple. A slice of bread. A packet of juice.
How appetizing. I take out the apple and bite into it anyway. I hear a girl calling -- squealing -- my name but I ignore her. I ignore everybody.
Apparently people are too stupid to get my 'I don't want any of you low-lives near me so leave me the hell alone or you'll have definite hell to pay' glares, because someone actually sits down in front of me. Who the hell is this idiot? I don't want company!
"Hey Rukawa, why so lonely?"
Darn. It's Mitsui. What the hell? Does he want something from me? Is he here to convey a message about practice? Or wait...is he gay and hitting on me?
"Are you gay?"
Mitsui's expression immediately changes. He glowers at me and looks ready to strangle me.
"I'd strangle you, you idiot, but I wouldn't because I promised Anzai-sensei that I wouldn't fight, so consider yourself lucky."
I roll my eyes. Oh, how sweet. He promised our coach that he wouldn't fight and thus he is going to spare my life! Oh, how glorious, how chivalrous, how very honourable! I just want to puke.
I ignore Mitsui and continue eating my apple. It's sour and its flesh is hard to swallow. My throat hurts every time I force it down.
Mitsui is still here. What does he want?
I shoot him my 'leave me alone you baka you are invading my privacy do you want to me drool on you do a'hou' glare. It's my killer eye. It always works when I use it on girls who try to follow me into the bathroom.
"What do you want?" I say coldly.
Mitsui shrugs. "Just to hang out."
Is he insane? Or just plain freaking STUPID? What the hell is wrong with him today? Why is he acting so friendly all of a sudden? Shakespeare could not have said it better when he made Julius Caesar say, "What, is this fellow mad?"
"Don't look at me like that," Mitsui says defensively. "I don't have any hidden motives. I just thought that, as teammates, we should have a better understanding of each other so that we can play better."
I stare at him. This person looks like Mitsui. He sounds like Mitsui. He even smirks like Mitsui. But it is not Mitsui. This...person before me must be his evil twin brother sent to Shohoku to torture me. That, or he's been abducted by aliens like Johnny Depp in that crap movie 'The Astronaut's Wife' and isn't himself anymore. Or maybe he's suffering from high fever and the heat has damaged his brains.
I stand up and grab my lunch. "Get
lost," I say to him and walk out of the cafeteria.
*****
I need a moment of peace and quiet. The classroom was like a zoo before because the Physics teacher is ill and the substitute is a total weakling without a spine. Some joker in my class suggested that the class kept quiet for about ten minutes and then simultaneously drop all their Physics books onto the floor when the ten minutes are up. They did that, and the pathetic sub actually jumped. As in, her feet were off the floor and her body was suspended in mid-air for about half a nanosecond. The class found it funny and they roared with laughter. They sounded like gorillas in a zoo.
I'm not referring to Captain Akagi. Of course.
I'm at detention. Ah yes, peace and quiet, and nap time. I'd miss an hour of basketball practice but I'll make up for it by practicing at night, so it's all good.
I ignore the teacher-in-charge who calls out my name and take my seat at the last row of the room. There are a few people around but they are not talking. I don't think they know each other.
I am preparing myself for sleep when all of a sudden the door fly open with a loud 'bang'. I look up, and see Sakuragi and his friends barging into the room. Sakuragi, as per usual, is off about what a genius he is, yada yada yada, while his friends are looking amused.
I groan inwardly. Fantastic. With Sakuragi the incessant loud-mouth around, there is no way I can get any sleep, not when he's going to shove that ugly mug in my face and yell egoistic crap at me, under the illusion that I care about whatever he has to say.
Sure enough, he spots me.
"Kitsune!" he yells. Oh my god, I think a ear drum just popped. Sakuragi's loud, obnoxious voice is so much worse than Boring Mathematics Teacher's. He sounds like a crow.
He scurries over and shoves his ugly mug in my face. I ignore him and look away.
"Oi! Kitsune! Are you listening to me?"
"Were you talking?"
"Teme Rukawa! Don't be bossy just because you scored more points than me in the last game! I will beat you the next time. Mark my words!"
The only thing I'd be marking is his grave. Besides, I didn't know I was challenging him.
"Do a'hou."
His face turns red, even redder than that ridiculous red hair, however that's possible. He grits his teeth and growls, ready to head-butt me but Yohei holds him back.
"Ah, Hanamichi, calm down," he says. "The sensei's looking at you."
"Besides," Takamiya cheerfully pipes up. "You wouldn't want to be thrown out of detention too, now would you?" He snickers.
"What did you say?!"
"You were thrown out of five consecutive games! You don't want to add detention to your record of being thrown out. Trust me, Haruko wouldn't be impressed!"
"You leave Haruko-san out of this, you shit! Now you take back what you said about this super tensai or you'll regret it!"
"Tensai, my ass! More like the king of fouls!"
On and on it goes. He is actually chasing his friend around the room. The poor teacher-in-charge, another dumb weakling, is crying at them to stop but they don't listen. Of course they don't.
Sakuragi tries to head-butt Takamiya, who shoots off before Sakuragi made contact. Sakuragi ends up falling face-first onto the ground.
Congratulations, do a'hou. You have just succeeded in making yourself uglier than ever.
A/N: It too pains me to write that Hana is ugly. He isn't. He's number three on my 'hot SD characters' list, third to Mitsui (#1) and Maki.
A/N 2: The Shakespeare quote does not belong to me. It's from Julius Caesar. Act Three. In response to Artemidorous (sp). It's quite ironic as Caesar is the mad one because he dies in the end when he chooses to ignore Artie's letter of warning... Um, yes.
A/N 3: Please excuse any grammatical mistakes. I'm not perfect and I'm too lazy to edit. If you see an out of place past tense, please change it to the present mentally.
A/N 4: Pardon too any misuse of Japanese words. I really don't know anything about the language. I'm just being a poseur.
A/N 5: Review. Gracias.
