Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry (Yet again. . .), I had to go down south on a 4 hour drive to get a stinky little award that they could've just sent to me. And of course, we just HAD to stay another 2 nights. . .

Lots of love,

Andi

PS: This will be a fairly long chapter, so I'm sticking ANOTHER song in it. I just love songs. The seem to set the mood so perfectly, you know? Any ways, it's 'Good Enough' by Sarah McLachlin. ~Did I spell that right? Also, I kind of altered a quote from 'French Kiss'. See if you can find it. If you do, I'll send you a cookie!

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It feels like the world's moving so fast, but I'm just standing still. I'm an accessory to murder, I've been raped twice, my 'rock' is sitting on the floor in the bathroom crying because of everything that's happened. . .

His mom called. Dru, her name was? Hmm. . . Either way, he won't talk about it. And I have too much respect in him to pry. He'll tell me when he's ready.

Faith came home with us. Took a shower in mom's bathroom. We gave her something to eat. She's downstairs sleeping on the couch right now. In the morning, we're going to try and find one of her relatives, see if she can go stay with them for a while.

And I? I am sitting on my bed. I am trying to figure out how the hell all of this could've happened. I'm trying to preserve my last shred of innocence by not crying. Crying will wash it all away, into a vast abyss in space.

The door opens. A tear-stained face comes through and shuts the door behind him. He sits down facing me on my bed.

"Hey."

"Hey."

His eyes are so full of pain. I never realized that this could effect him so much. . . Something he was so detached from.

He lays his head down on my shoulder and holds me so tight I feel I might break.

"She was calling about her precious Angel. Said he'd been missing for about 2 weeks. I told her that I didn't know anything. . . Where he was, what he was doing. . ."

He pauses to let out a sad chuckle.

"Don't think she'd appreciate knowing we dumped him and the murder weapon in the Pacific ocean."

I run my fingers through his silky hair and kiss the top of his head softly.

"I need you. . ." I start.

"You need me. . ."

"That's it. I just need you."

He looks in my eyes and I can still see all the pain and terror he's been through this past week. But I also see a faint glimmer of lust, and something that looks like love, through the walls he's put up.

~Hey your glass is empty

it's a hell of a long way home

why don't you let me take you

it's no good to go alone

I never would have opened up

but you seemed so real to me

after all the bullshit I've heard

it's refreshing not to see

I don't have to pretend

she doesn't expect it from me~

I scoot away from him and sit up. Clothes slowly come off in a silent comfort zone.

He takes me in his arms and lays me back onto the bed. Tears stream down his face and mine, but neither of us move to wipe them away.

He places his lips over mine in a surrendering movement as our hands map out each others' bodies.

Foreplay is uneeded, unwanted. It would take to long, and this is only meant as a stripping of vulnerabilities to hardship, and for giving love and comfort where it is so desperately needed.

~Don't tell me I

haven't been good to you

don't tell me I

have never been there for you

don't tell me why

nothing is good enough~

He enters me slowly, drawing in and out, maintaining a slow pace. I cry out softly as he fills me to the brink.

We both reach orgasms at the same moment, silently drawing langorous breaths and whispering words of tenderness.

It's the first time I've given myself willingly, and I can't imagine it getting any better or more heart-felt than this. Granted, I know all is not candles and romance, but sometimes, it's just what is needed.

~ Hey little girl would you like some candy

your momma said that it's OK

The door is open come on outside

no I can't come out today

it's not the wind that cracked your shoulder

and threw you to the ground

who's there that makes you so afraid

you're shaken to the bone

and I don't understand

you deserve so much more than this~

He wraps us up in the blanket and spoons against me. I feel so safe and loved, it's scary, because I know it can't last. This is just an illusion to things to come.

He kisses my neck and his breath becomes even. I can't sleep. I just stare at the wall, it's posters and picture frames another illusion to hide the devastation that is my life.

I remember when my life used to be simple, when all I thought about was how popular I was or how late I could get away with being out. When pom-poms and cheerleading were the goals I had set to stay with forever. That was me, soon-to-be 'Laker-Girl Buffy'. I miss those days.

~ So don't tell me why

he's never been good to you

don't tell me why

he's never been there for you

don't you know that why

is simply not good enough

Oh, so just let me try

and I will be good to you

just let me try

and I will be there for you

I'll show you why

you're so much more than good enough...~

Sleep overtakes me.

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~2 Weeks Later~

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Then take the sodding test and prove me wrong!"

"No!"

"So I'm right?!"

"Of course not! I just don't need YOU to tell me what to do!"

"Are you late?"

"What the hell's that got to do with it? And it's 6'O clock in the afternoon, what would I be late for?"

"Your monthly-"

"Oh God, do NOT go there!"

"So you are."

"I've been stressed! And I've been through a-an extremely traumatic experience! Stressed women are alowed to be late for EVERYTHING, including. . . That which shall not be named!"

"Just take the bloody test already!"

"Fine! I'll show you, you little-"

*Slam*

I slam the bathroom door shut behind me.

Who is he to think I'm--. I mean, lots of people get sick in the mornings. And, and, lateness is not THAT unusual. And I'm NOT crazy for wanting asparaugus on my ice cream. It's perfectly natural.

Who am I kidding?

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I walk out of the bathroom holding the little stick that shall decide my fate with wide eyes.

He looks down, looks up with a shocked look on his face, looks down, and looks up again.

"I'm pregnant."

God, I hope he catches me. This floor is pretty hard.

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A/N: Oooh! Who's is it? Plz review, I really, really need them. They're my (Well, almost. . .) life! Lots of love,

Andi