Disclaimer: Any characters seen in J.K Rowling's Harry Potter series belong to her. Any you don't see and the plot belong to my own twisted mind.
Authors note: Oh my gosh. This chapter just wrote itself. It only took me about two hours but I loved writing it. I totally felt this chapter the entire time I was writing on paper, I never was stuck over any of the major pieces I wanted to put in. Well the plot is chugging along quite nicely I think there will probably only be about three or four more chapters. So eek, it's all coming to an end very quickly and I actually can't wait. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, even if you didn't review. An extra special thanks to everyone who did review. You people rock my world and make me want to write more. I hope that when this is all over you'll give my next story a chance. I'm getting excited about that one. It will center on Ron and will involve Harry and Hermione but this one is a Ron thing. Which is odd because I don't particularly like him more than any other character (like Seamus) but it grabbed my brain and it won't let go! Well enough out of me, for all you Fred and George fans like me, go enjoy the chapter.
When you're gone chapter 9
"Morning luv, that's a pretty jacket." Laura's bell-like voice rang out across the empty diner. George grinned up at her from the stack of dishes they had left the night before.
"Shopping night," George told her, although Laura already knew.
"How's Tag been treating my favorite employee? You look tired. Have you been eating enough?" Laura had crossed the diner while they spoke; she reached out to touch one of the bags under George's eyes.
"Don't worry Laura – just too much partying is all." George winced internally. He hated lying to Laura, but he didn't want her to know about the daily pains and the haunting memories of his brother.
"Take it easy George – I mean it," Laura shook her head as she placed her arms around George in a warm hug, "You're getting skinny."
"Laura, I'm fine!" George forced a cheerful smile on to his face as he pulled back from Laura's grasp.
"See that you are! You've been good for Tag and for business." Laura affectionately ruffled his hair before grabbing a stack of clean dishes and moving towards the kitchen.
George felt a genuine smile form on his features as he watched Laura go. She had become a haven for him, a beacon in the dark, easing his constant pain. When he was around Laura, she triggered memories of his mother. George could almost smell Mrs. Weasley's pudding when Laura entered a room. George frowned slightly as the dull throb in his stomach pulsed, to remind him that sanctuary was fleeting. George had discovered that when his mind was not kept busy, his thoughts always turned to Fred. George had also discovered that the pain increased as he consciously thought about his twin. When George had concluded that thought of Fred and pain went together, he had resolved to stop thinking about his family entirely. 'Easier said than done,' George thought bitterly. George was reminded of home at every turn; Laura reminded him of his mum, Tag's close friendship with him was ghostly reminiscent of his twin, Owl reminded him of his shy, bright little sister. The pain was becoming a numbing constant in his life. George had reached the point where trying to focus on something other than the pain inevitably had the opposite effect. The only reprieve he had from the pain was when he was alone with Laura and she was comforting him. George felt the pain returning to his abdomen. 'I'm not even thinking about him!' George screamed at his mind. The pain increased tauntingly. George let out an angry growl and threw down his dishcloth. He violently wiped frustrated tears from his eyes and dropped his head to his arms, defeated.
"Is everything alright dear?" Laura materialized at his side.
"Its fine, nothing's wrong." George mumbled quickly through the thick fabric of his jacket.
"It's not everyday you abuse your dishtowels for no reason…" Laura coaxed.
"Um, wicked difficult burnt on grease?" George questioned more than answered.
Laura chuckled, before growing serious and laying her hand firmly on George's shoulder, "I'm worried about you. I don't like seeing you this way – you can talk to me, you know that right?"
George tried to smile for her, but he was sure it looked more like a twisted grimace. "It's nice to have someone to worry about me again."
Laura leaned closer to him, placing an arm around his shoulder to draw George closer to her. "Have you spoken to anyone about the loss of your family?"
George shook his head against her, clutching at her shirt. Laura sighed helplessly, "Tag told me you had a twin brother… were you two close?"
George stopped fighting the tears as pain cracked through his skull. "Inseparable," he managed to whisper.
Laura's heart broke for the boy in front of her; she desperately wanted to protect him from the pain he felt. "Shh," Laura hushed, rocking George back and forth slightly, "Tell me about him Hun, I'll help anyway that I can."
George stiffened. Talking about Fred would only bring more pain. 'Maybe if Laura heard, she could help me not think about him. I could endure the pain for that. Maybe she really can help.' Taking a shuddering breath, George pulled back to look Laura in the face.
"Fred and I were identical, I don't look the same anymore – changed my hair when I came here. We used to do everything together. We were strikingly similar in everyway; we didn't have individual quirks that could help people tell us apart. Even our mother confused us. I was so happy that I had him; I never had to worry about being alone. Some kids pitied us – because we always had someone in our face, never alone. But I always pitied them – they'll never have the level of love and friendship I experienced; they'll never belong the way I belonged with my brother. Even when we were dating, we always started out the night as four. I had a safe haven, a place where the bad in my life couldn't touch me. My brother was my anchor and life doesn't feel right without him." George paused to take a shuddery breath and rub his hand along his face, wiping the tear tracks away. "It feels like I'm floating, drifting aimlessly with nothing but the pain to remind me that I'm alone. The last time I saw him – five weeks ago – he said… the last words he…"
"Breathe George, we'll get through this! What did Fred say?" Laura soothed, rubbing circles around the back of his hand with her thumb.
"He… He told my brothers – Percy and Ron, that he wished I'd never been born. He said they didn't know how horrible it was to be a twin – how he wished I was dead. He said… said he'd be… ha-happier." George choked on his sobs as Laura gasped. Her free had flew up to cover her heart as tears welled up in her eyes. "Had you been fighting George?" George nodded shakily. "Oh luv, he was just angry! Everyone says hateful things in the heat of the moment – I'm positive he would have taken it all back if he could." Laura gathered the shaking boy into her arms. Looking up, Laura noticed a movement in the shadows. Her eyes narrowed and she pulled George closer to her body as she peered into the falling darkness. Tag stepped forward from his place against the wall, eyes downcast and face solemn. He nodded slightly to the unvoiced question in Laura's eyes. Yes, he had heard everything.
George looked up, stiffening when he saw Tag standing across the room. He hurried to compose himself, clearing his throat and muttering excuses of dust in his eyes as he frantically rubbed away the tears.
"Don't be ashamed Trix, I'm not going to judge you mate. I just want to help. You shouldn't have to go through this alone." Tag hesitated, unsure if he should move towards George. He settled for pulling a chair over to Laura and George.
"I have to!" George's conviction surprised the two people before him. "It's my fault."
"It's not one's fault George." Laura assured him.
"Trix – George, we can't replace your family, we wouldn't want to. But you can't stop us from caring." Tag slammed his open palm down onto the back of the chair he was straddling. Laura made a noise of agreement.
George looked up, "I'm sorry, thank you, I'll try to work on this – but I really just want to stop thinking about Fred, until it hurts less."
Tag nodded in understanding, "I know a little of what you're feeling – but you're not alone Trix. Talk to us when you're ready."
George nodded and Tag looked over to Laura. Laura rose from the chair and went to collect George's belongings. Returning she cast a soft glance at George, "You can take some time off work dear, until you feel ready if you would like."
"No!" George responded quickly, his voice high pitched with panic. "I mean, being here helps distract me, and I feel calmer." Laura looked like she was going to cry again, but settled for grabbing George into a bone-crushing hug. "I'll see you tomorrow luv, try to get some sleep."
***************
"You're sicker than you're letting on." George turned sharply to face Tag as they turned from the main street onto the compound's back drive. "What?" George hoped that his voice sounded innocent.
"Don't play games with me mate, I'm not daft. I haven't known you that long, but I do know you well." Tag's tone was serious.
"Yeah, I am." George said with resignation. It was no use trying to hide things from Tag. "I think I'm dying."
"That's just the pain talking man – don't say things like that." Tag laughed uneasily.
"I can feel it – a voice calling me; pulling me towards the end, the promise of peace. I'll get to see Fred there one day, he won't be angry with me anymore, so I'm not afraid." George's voice had become detached and ghostly.
Frightened, Tag gripped George's arm and shook him. "You're not going to die Trix. We'll get you help – we'll go to the hospital."
"And what are you going to do when they ask you to fill out all those forms?" George didn't know much about muggle hospitals but he knew they asked a lot of questions. Questions he didn't have the answers for.
"Shit, you're right. I'll ask Laura, she'll –" George grabbed Tag's shirt, cutting off his rambling.
"No! Do not worry Laura. There's nothing she can do, I don't want to burden her more."
"What can we do George? We have to do something – I won't watch you die!" Tag looked to be near tears and George felt the weight of his sadness added to his shoulders.
"Just find me something strong enough for the pain, and we'll see how long I can last." As they entered the warehouse, George turned his eyes to the sky, 'I'm sorry Fred, I meant to come home, but I can't let you see me die.'
****************
George didn't know how or when he had fallen asleep, but he awoke to the sound of arguing. He bit back a groan at the all too familiar pain in his limbs as he shifted to listen to the conversation. George could make out the voices of Tag and Flame but struggled to place the third.
"Lopes are you insane?" Tag hissed.
'Ah, that's who it was.' George smiled sluggishly.
"Look Tag, I know what you're worried about – I am too!" Lopes whispered harshly.
"No – there's got to be something else." Tag's voice held a degree of disbelief that puzzled George.
"Nothing else that we can get! Lopes is right. It will stop his pain Tag." Flame sighed.
There was a long pause before Tag sighed, "We'll try it. But he can't have it a lot and we're looking for another way!"
"Of course!" Lopes and Flame quickly agreed.
George heard steps coming down the hall in the direction of his room, and hurried to make himself appear as though he was still asleep. He pretended to pull himself from sleep at the soft knock on the door.
"Are you awake Trix?" The door opened and Tag, Lopes and Flame walked in; Flame softly shut the door behind them.
"What's going on?" George asked, the confusion in his voice genuine.
"I told Lopes and Flame everything." Tag sat on the foot of the bed. George winced. "I know you don't want people worrying, but I needed their help, and their support."
"Jesus man, how did it get so bad so fast?" Flame swore, "It was just a stomachache a week ago."
George smiled weakly, "I don't know, maybe it's been happening all along and I only just noticed a week ago."
"You hang in there; we're going to figure this out." Lopes promised.
"Thanks guys." George winced at a particularly sharp pain.
Tag, Lopes and Flame shared a look and Tag rose, walking to the head of the bed, "We got you something for the pain. But this is only temporary." Tag assured. Nodding to Flame, he stepped back.
Flame moved to George's side and withdrew a syringe from his pocket. Ripping a clean tip from a sterilized package, he clicked the two pieces together and reached for George's arm. George felt the cool liquid enter his bloodstream. The effects were almost immediate and George felt a calm settle around his body. George sat up, feeling no pain, only to be pushed back down by Tag.
"I don't feel a thing." George whispered in awe and joy.
Tag smiled sadly, "Get some sleep if you're going to work at Laura's tomorrow."
George sank back into the pillows, catching Tag's arm as the boys turned to leave. "What is this stuff?"
"They call it heroine. Sleep," Tag gently pulled George's hand off his arm and left the room.
TBC
