[u]Part 44[/u]
[I]Strange and beautiful are the stars tonight That dance around your head. In your eyes I see that perfect world, I hope that doesn't sound too weird. And I want to world to know, That your love's all I need, All that I need.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together. And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
Stand before this faceless crowd, I wonder I bother. So much control by so few, Stumbling from one disaster to another. I've heard it all so many times before, It's all a dream to me now, Dream to me now.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together. And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
In the silence of this whispered night I listen only to your breath. In that second of a shooting star, Somehow it all makes sense. I want all the world to know, That your love's all I need, All that I need.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
Blue Rodeo [/I]
"Please tell me I'm having some sort of horrible nightmare." Kyle's tone was so annoyed, it made Max smile slightly, in spite of the fact that he was just as confused as the rest of them, but he wasn't scared. Better for Kyle to be irritated rather than frightened. Because somehow Max knew that they weren't in danger. Kyle turned his head and glared at Tess. "We failed that judgment after all! Didn't we?"
Max could feel Liz's hand trembling where it was cradled in his. He squeezed lightly, trying to reassure her. He didn't understand why they were here, but he knew this place. It was unlikely that they would be hurt here.
"You didn't fail Kyle," Max said patiently. "We're on the dream plain. I think we've taken some sort of detour."
Max knew he was right. He had visited this place often enough with Liz during the time when he had been stranded on Illyria with no idea about who he really was. He was surprised that Liz didn't recognize it. She was looking around, a slight frown on her face.
"Max, are you sure?" She finally said in a small voice. "It looks different. Where's the grass?"
Max shrugged. "I'm pretty sure. We're in the Ring aren't we?" They were indeed still in a Ring of some sort, although without the waving grasses surrounding it to which Liz was referring. Instead it was as if they were on a small island in the middle of a field of stars.
"This is what happens when we take strange portals," Kyle complained. "We end up lost. This is just unfrickingbelievable."
"Oh Kyle, settle down," Tess ordered, sounding a bit nervous if Max was not mistaken. "That portal was there for a reason. I think we were brought here on purpose."
"Is it too much to just go home?" Kyle sighed. "I just [I]really[/I] want to go home."
"You are home my son."
All four teens turned their heads in the direction of the voice. Max brought his arm around Liz, an entirely natural protective gesture, but one he somehow also knew was pointless.
The man standing nearby did not look the least bit threatening. He had a long white beard and was fragile enough that it appeared that the lightest breeze might blow him over. But there was strength in the line of his neck, the angle of his chin.
And suddenly Max knew exactly who this was, although he had never met him in this life-time.
"Lucianus."
"Yes Jaxon. We meet again." The old man's smile was gentle. "I am pleased that it has been allowed. But all the requirements have been met. You have all learned the lessons that were required for me to be permitted to give you the answers you have all long-sought."
Max's heart skipped a beat. "Is that why we're here? Someone is finally going to tell us what we're supposed to do?"
"No." Lucianus shook his head patiently. "You already know. I have merely brought you here to give you an opportunity to discuss it amongst yourselves."
Max looked around at Liz, Kyle and Tess. They all wore the same expressions of confusion he was sure was reflected on his face as well. "I don't understand," he finally admitted.
"You will. Be patient my young king. We are still awaiting the arrival of more guests." The words had barely left the old man's lips when the space between two of the stones across the way lit up so brightly, Max was forced to avert his head in order not to be blinded.
He heard Liz gasp and then a shriek of joy from across the way. "[I]Liz[/I]!"
The next thing he knew, Liz had wrenched away from him, was throwing her arms around Alex and Maria. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief and the warmth of satisfaction as he finally began to understand what was happening here.
They were being reunited, not on Earth, not on Illyria, but somewhere safe where they would have a chance to figure out where they were meant to go from here without the interference of any outside influences.
Max looked beyond them, his gaze meeting Isabel's, who was staring at him. Her dark eyes filled with tears as he watched. He was surprised when the first words out of her mouth were, "I'm so sorry Max."
"For what?" He asked, truly perplexed. He was just so happy to see her, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what she was sorry about.
"For not believing you," Isabel replied. "I was wrong to doubt your bond with Liz. You knew she was alive and I." She glanced around. "We all should have believed you."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Max insisted. "I swear Izzy. If there's anyone who should be apologizing, it's me, for having left without you all in the first place. I know you were all pretty freaked. I didn't have the right to do that."
"We gave you no choice," Isabel argued.
It was when Alex interrupted them by saying, "Oh will you two just hug and get it over with?" that Max realized that everyone else had stopped their own reunions to listen.
Max grinned and opened his arms. Isabel came flying into them, hugging him so tightly, he was forced to plead for mercy after a few seconds. "Whoa Iz. Okay. I forgive you."
"And I forgive you," Isabel said pertly, although she sniffed, indicating that she was still emotional.
Max looked around at the circle his friends were now forming around he and Isabel. Alex was still holding Liz's hand and Maria had her arm around her. Michael and Tess were speaking to each other softly, the brother and sister obviously glad to see each other again. Kyle stood slightly to the left of them, but was no less a part of the whole picture.
Max felt a rush of pure relief. Finally, all together again, all united as they were meant to be, couples, friends, [I]family[/I].
A perfect circle of love, loyalty and faith in each other. He finally understood what the stone circle had been trying to tell them all along. Together they stood strong. Divided they fell, just like the symbolic Ring. The power lay not in the stones themselves, but in the people who believed in them, in each other.
Perfect union.
And, yet, there was still much to be discussed. He looked at Lucianus, who was watching it all with a slight smile on his face. "Why are we here?"
"Mainly for what I have just witnessed," the old man replied. "But also to help you to move forward now that you have learned that you cannot do so without each other."
"Where's our mother?" Isabel asked, looking around abruptly, as though only just becoming aware of something. Max's gaze met hers again and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Milena Max. She was on Earth. She was the one who pulled Alex and me into the portal."
"She does not belong here," Lucianus spoke up, answering that question. "She has gone on through to Illyria, her rightful place. Milena loves too well in many ways. She cannot control love though and it frightens her." Lucianus's ageless eyes met Max's and then Isabel's. "You must always believe that Milena loves you, because she does. But she lost her ability to love unconditionally when Ren was stolen from her."
"She needs to be punished," Alex spoke up. "For what she did to Isabel. She's been messing with her mind for months now." Max was surprised. That kind of talk was unlike Alex, who was really a peace-maker at heart. It could only mean that Isabel had gone through even worse horrors since he had seen her last. He stared at his sister in dismay.
"The loss of your love and the loss of Ren's love - which she has never known - will be punishment enough. Milena's games have ended. She no longer has any more power over any of you. The circle of love you have created between the eight of you will protect you from her from now on." Lucianus looked at Alex with compassion. "I know you have suffered along with Isabel Alex, but you must let your hatred go. Milena lives in a prison of her own making."
"But how can we know that she won't try it again?" Michael demanded. "You don't know what Isabel's been through!"
"What we've [I]all[/I] been through," Isabel piped up, looking at Maria while she said it, smiling with something approximating apology. "But she won't bother us anymore guys. Because, ironically, in the end, she's going to get what she wants. And it's what we all want too."
"Ren on the throne?" Max interrupted. "You guys know about all of that?"
"Oh, we know," Alex muttered, shaking his head. "That woman is crazy."
"But what about Jennetta?" Liz asked the question that had been on the tip of Max's tongue. "Jenny is the Chosen One."
"Jennetta is in love with Ren," Maria said. "And there's little doubt that he feels the same way, even if he was cleansed. Not with the way his entire world revolved around her before he died." Max frowned, realized that what Maria called love might have been the obsession the cleansing seemed to instill in every Dernian who went through it. There was no way of knowing if it was really love or not. But Maria seemed so sure, he decided to let it go for the moment. The obviously had a lot of notes to compare before they could move forward, which was another reason he was grateful for this opportunity. He listened as Maria continued, "When we bring him back, I can pretty much guarantee they're going to end up together."
"Wait a minute!" Kyle said, his confusion obvious. "Ren died?"
"It's a long story," Maria sighed. "Suffice it to say, we think the four square can bring him back. But we need to get back there as soon as possible."
"What I want to know is why exactly we're [I]here?[/I]" Michael spoke up again. "We don't really have time for a pit stop, as happy as I am to see everyone again and to get this opportunity." He looked around, scowling slightly. "And where exactly are we anyway?"
"We're on the dream plain," Isabel said, sounding pretty certain. Max was glad that he had been right. Isabel would know this place better than anyone, being the one who spent the most time here.
"You are and you are not," Lucianus interjected. "We are, in fact, in the axis that divides worlds." He gestured around, indicating the various doorways that the stones seemed to create. "All these portals lead to different worlds. Normally when you go through a portal you do not remember this axis. It is here that those of you who have met through your dreams have been. It occasionally appears different, depending on how you expect it to look. It is the spot connecting all the worlds. Most people can only come here in their subconscious. Mirana's main gift is the access of this spot in the waking world. She can walk through here and visit anyone's subconscious. Jaxon's ability to open portals comes from their very close link as twins. He cannot access it as intimately or as regularly as his sister, but he can open the gates. The universe is very closely linked in every way - physically, emotionally and mentally - but some bonds are stronger than others."
"Which explains why people emotionally bonded to gatekeepers can also open the portals?" Liz asked. Max smiled slightly to himself. He could almost see the wheels of her scientific mind trying to grasp the reality and complexity of how the universe worked in the expression on her face, in the way she bit her lip slightly. He could also tell that she didn't quite buy it, even though she had made the proof herself by starting to open the portal back in the cave with Nasedo.
"Indeed," Lucianus replied.
"If people can only come here in their subconscious, then why are we all here now?" Tess asked.
"Twice a year on all worlds, the portal here is accessible from various rings of power scattered all over the universe," Lucianus explained. He glanced at Alex, smiling wryly. "I watched you uncover the truth about the portal's "switch" as you all called it. You were not entirely correct in your translation. The main occurrence on the solstices is that the portal here opens of its own volition." Alex frowned, apparently a little embarrassed that he had gotten it wrong. Lucianus seemed to understand this though, because he continued. "The fact that you got as far as you did though, it was impressive, and it didn't make a difference in the end. You were all in the Ring when you needed to be."
"What I don't get is that if this portal opens twice a year, why don't more people accidentally get sucked into it?" This came from Michael, who looked a little annoyed that all of this had to be so complicated.
"It is only visible to those who expect to find it. Very few people ever get the chance. Illyria was more advanced than Earth in one way. It knew of the portals generations ago, which resulted in all of you knowing of them. You all happened to be looking for portals at the same time and, so, they were waiting for you."
"Weird." Michael just shook his head, starting to look belligerent. "And just a little bit too coincidental if you ask me. Who are you anyway? You've been interfering in our lives for the past three years and I don't like it."
"Michael." Maria said warningly.
"No, it is fine," Lucianus said. "Michael's question is a valid one." He paused, seemed to be searching for the words. "I am who you need me to be during the times when you need guidance. A messenger if you will."
"God," Liz breathed. "Is that who you are?"
Max's eyes widened. It was the question she had asked Ren the last time they had spoken of Lucianus - whether he was God. Ren had said no, but from what Max had discerned since, Ren was just as lost about a lot of this as the rest of this. He hadn't even known that he was Milena's son after all.
"If that is who you need me to be," Lucianus replied quietly. "But really no. I am the energy of the universe, all wrapped up into a single entity. I am the guardian of the worlds accessed through these portals, because I [I]am[/I] the portal. Everyone who has lived, will live and all who live now know me in some form or other. I am all of you in some ways, which is why you can all see me. I appear thus because it is who you all expect me to be." He was smiling kindly at Liz now. "I could just as easily be someone else."
"Like who?" Liz asked, although Max could tell by the way she perked up that she already had someone in mind.
"Like me Honeybear."
Max watched in amazement as Lucianus disappeared and was replaced by the woman who had played such a large role in Liz's life, and in his, although he had never known it.
Grandma Claudia.
[I]Strange and beautiful are the stars tonight That dance around your head. In your eyes I see that perfect world, I hope that doesn't sound too weird. And I want to world to know, That your love's all I need, All that I need.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together. And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
Stand before this faceless crowd, I wonder I bother. So much control by so few, Stumbling from one disaster to another. I've heard it all so many times before, It's all a dream to me now, Dream to me now.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together. And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
In the silence of this whispered night I listen only to your breath. In that second of a shooting star, Somehow it all makes sense. I want all the world to know, That your love's all I need, All that I need.
And if we're lost, Then we are lost together.
Blue Rodeo [/I]
"Please tell me I'm having some sort of horrible nightmare." Kyle's tone was so annoyed, it made Max smile slightly, in spite of the fact that he was just as confused as the rest of them, but he wasn't scared. Better for Kyle to be irritated rather than frightened. Because somehow Max knew that they weren't in danger. Kyle turned his head and glared at Tess. "We failed that judgment after all! Didn't we?"
Max could feel Liz's hand trembling where it was cradled in his. He squeezed lightly, trying to reassure her. He didn't understand why they were here, but he knew this place. It was unlikely that they would be hurt here.
"You didn't fail Kyle," Max said patiently. "We're on the dream plain. I think we've taken some sort of detour."
Max knew he was right. He had visited this place often enough with Liz during the time when he had been stranded on Illyria with no idea about who he really was. He was surprised that Liz didn't recognize it. She was looking around, a slight frown on her face.
"Max, are you sure?" She finally said in a small voice. "It looks different. Where's the grass?"
Max shrugged. "I'm pretty sure. We're in the Ring aren't we?" They were indeed still in a Ring of some sort, although without the waving grasses surrounding it to which Liz was referring. Instead it was as if they were on a small island in the middle of a field of stars.
"This is what happens when we take strange portals," Kyle complained. "We end up lost. This is just unfrickingbelievable."
"Oh Kyle, settle down," Tess ordered, sounding a bit nervous if Max was not mistaken. "That portal was there for a reason. I think we were brought here on purpose."
"Is it too much to just go home?" Kyle sighed. "I just [I]really[/I] want to go home."
"You are home my son."
All four teens turned their heads in the direction of the voice. Max brought his arm around Liz, an entirely natural protective gesture, but one he somehow also knew was pointless.
The man standing nearby did not look the least bit threatening. He had a long white beard and was fragile enough that it appeared that the lightest breeze might blow him over. But there was strength in the line of his neck, the angle of his chin.
And suddenly Max knew exactly who this was, although he had never met him in this life-time.
"Lucianus."
"Yes Jaxon. We meet again." The old man's smile was gentle. "I am pleased that it has been allowed. But all the requirements have been met. You have all learned the lessons that were required for me to be permitted to give you the answers you have all long-sought."
Max's heart skipped a beat. "Is that why we're here? Someone is finally going to tell us what we're supposed to do?"
"No." Lucianus shook his head patiently. "You already know. I have merely brought you here to give you an opportunity to discuss it amongst yourselves."
Max looked around at Liz, Kyle and Tess. They all wore the same expressions of confusion he was sure was reflected on his face as well. "I don't understand," he finally admitted.
"You will. Be patient my young king. We are still awaiting the arrival of more guests." The words had barely left the old man's lips when the space between two of the stones across the way lit up so brightly, Max was forced to avert his head in order not to be blinded.
He heard Liz gasp and then a shriek of joy from across the way. "[I]Liz[/I]!"
The next thing he knew, Liz had wrenched away from him, was throwing her arms around Alex and Maria. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief and the warmth of satisfaction as he finally began to understand what was happening here.
They were being reunited, not on Earth, not on Illyria, but somewhere safe where they would have a chance to figure out where they were meant to go from here without the interference of any outside influences.
Max looked beyond them, his gaze meeting Isabel's, who was staring at him. Her dark eyes filled with tears as he watched. He was surprised when the first words out of her mouth were, "I'm so sorry Max."
"For what?" He asked, truly perplexed. He was just so happy to see her, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what she was sorry about.
"For not believing you," Isabel replied. "I was wrong to doubt your bond with Liz. You knew she was alive and I." She glanced around. "We all should have believed you."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Max insisted. "I swear Izzy. If there's anyone who should be apologizing, it's me, for having left without you all in the first place. I know you were all pretty freaked. I didn't have the right to do that."
"We gave you no choice," Isabel argued.
It was when Alex interrupted them by saying, "Oh will you two just hug and get it over with?" that Max realized that everyone else had stopped their own reunions to listen.
Max grinned and opened his arms. Isabel came flying into them, hugging him so tightly, he was forced to plead for mercy after a few seconds. "Whoa Iz. Okay. I forgive you."
"And I forgive you," Isabel said pertly, although she sniffed, indicating that she was still emotional.
Max looked around at the circle his friends were now forming around he and Isabel. Alex was still holding Liz's hand and Maria had her arm around her. Michael and Tess were speaking to each other softly, the brother and sister obviously glad to see each other again. Kyle stood slightly to the left of them, but was no less a part of the whole picture.
Max felt a rush of pure relief. Finally, all together again, all united as they were meant to be, couples, friends, [I]family[/I].
A perfect circle of love, loyalty and faith in each other. He finally understood what the stone circle had been trying to tell them all along. Together they stood strong. Divided they fell, just like the symbolic Ring. The power lay not in the stones themselves, but in the people who believed in them, in each other.
Perfect union.
And, yet, there was still much to be discussed. He looked at Lucianus, who was watching it all with a slight smile on his face. "Why are we here?"
"Mainly for what I have just witnessed," the old man replied. "But also to help you to move forward now that you have learned that you cannot do so without each other."
"Where's our mother?" Isabel asked, looking around abruptly, as though only just becoming aware of something. Max's gaze met hers again and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Milena Max. She was on Earth. She was the one who pulled Alex and me into the portal."
"She does not belong here," Lucianus spoke up, answering that question. "She has gone on through to Illyria, her rightful place. Milena loves too well in many ways. She cannot control love though and it frightens her." Lucianus's ageless eyes met Max's and then Isabel's. "You must always believe that Milena loves you, because she does. But she lost her ability to love unconditionally when Ren was stolen from her."
"She needs to be punished," Alex spoke up. "For what she did to Isabel. She's been messing with her mind for months now." Max was surprised. That kind of talk was unlike Alex, who was really a peace-maker at heart. It could only mean that Isabel had gone through even worse horrors since he had seen her last. He stared at his sister in dismay.
"The loss of your love and the loss of Ren's love - which she has never known - will be punishment enough. Milena's games have ended. She no longer has any more power over any of you. The circle of love you have created between the eight of you will protect you from her from now on." Lucianus looked at Alex with compassion. "I know you have suffered along with Isabel Alex, but you must let your hatred go. Milena lives in a prison of her own making."
"But how can we know that she won't try it again?" Michael demanded. "You don't know what Isabel's been through!"
"What we've [I]all[/I] been through," Isabel piped up, looking at Maria while she said it, smiling with something approximating apology. "But she won't bother us anymore guys. Because, ironically, in the end, she's going to get what she wants. And it's what we all want too."
"Ren on the throne?" Max interrupted. "You guys know about all of that?"
"Oh, we know," Alex muttered, shaking his head. "That woman is crazy."
"But what about Jennetta?" Liz asked the question that had been on the tip of Max's tongue. "Jenny is the Chosen One."
"Jennetta is in love with Ren," Maria said. "And there's little doubt that he feels the same way, even if he was cleansed. Not with the way his entire world revolved around her before he died." Max frowned, realized that what Maria called love might have been the obsession the cleansing seemed to instill in every Dernian who went through it. There was no way of knowing if it was really love or not. But Maria seemed so sure, he decided to let it go for the moment. The obviously had a lot of notes to compare before they could move forward, which was another reason he was grateful for this opportunity. He listened as Maria continued, "When we bring him back, I can pretty much guarantee they're going to end up together."
"Wait a minute!" Kyle said, his confusion obvious. "Ren died?"
"It's a long story," Maria sighed. "Suffice it to say, we think the four square can bring him back. But we need to get back there as soon as possible."
"What I want to know is why exactly we're [I]here?[/I]" Michael spoke up again. "We don't really have time for a pit stop, as happy as I am to see everyone again and to get this opportunity." He looked around, scowling slightly. "And where exactly are we anyway?"
"We're on the dream plain," Isabel said, sounding pretty certain. Max was glad that he had been right. Isabel would know this place better than anyone, being the one who spent the most time here.
"You are and you are not," Lucianus interjected. "We are, in fact, in the axis that divides worlds." He gestured around, indicating the various doorways that the stones seemed to create. "All these portals lead to different worlds. Normally when you go through a portal you do not remember this axis. It is here that those of you who have met through your dreams have been. It occasionally appears different, depending on how you expect it to look. It is the spot connecting all the worlds. Most people can only come here in their subconscious. Mirana's main gift is the access of this spot in the waking world. She can walk through here and visit anyone's subconscious. Jaxon's ability to open portals comes from their very close link as twins. He cannot access it as intimately or as regularly as his sister, but he can open the gates. The universe is very closely linked in every way - physically, emotionally and mentally - but some bonds are stronger than others."
"Which explains why people emotionally bonded to gatekeepers can also open the portals?" Liz asked. Max smiled slightly to himself. He could almost see the wheels of her scientific mind trying to grasp the reality and complexity of how the universe worked in the expression on her face, in the way she bit her lip slightly. He could also tell that she didn't quite buy it, even though she had made the proof herself by starting to open the portal back in the cave with Nasedo.
"Indeed," Lucianus replied.
"If people can only come here in their subconscious, then why are we all here now?" Tess asked.
"Twice a year on all worlds, the portal here is accessible from various rings of power scattered all over the universe," Lucianus explained. He glanced at Alex, smiling wryly. "I watched you uncover the truth about the portal's "switch" as you all called it. You were not entirely correct in your translation. The main occurrence on the solstices is that the portal here opens of its own volition." Alex frowned, apparently a little embarrassed that he had gotten it wrong. Lucianus seemed to understand this though, because he continued. "The fact that you got as far as you did though, it was impressive, and it didn't make a difference in the end. You were all in the Ring when you needed to be."
"What I don't get is that if this portal opens twice a year, why don't more people accidentally get sucked into it?" This came from Michael, who looked a little annoyed that all of this had to be so complicated.
"It is only visible to those who expect to find it. Very few people ever get the chance. Illyria was more advanced than Earth in one way. It knew of the portals generations ago, which resulted in all of you knowing of them. You all happened to be looking for portals at the same time and, so, they were waiting for you."
"Weird." Michael just shook his head, starting to look belligerent. "And just a little bit too coincidental if you ask me. Who are you anyway? You've been interfering in our lives for the past three years and I don't like it."
"Michael." Maria said warningly.
"No, it is fine," Lucianus said. "Michael's question is a valid one." He paused, seemed to be searching for the words. "I am who you need me to be during the times when you need guidance. A messenger if you will."
"God," Liz breathed. "Is that who you are?"
Max's eyes widened. It was the question she had asked Ren the last time they had spoken of Lucianus - whether he was God. Ren had said no, but from what Max had discerned since, Ren was just as lost about a lot of this as the rest of this. He hadn't even known that he was Milena's son after all.
"If that is who you need me to be," Lucianus replied quietly. "But really no. I am the energy of the universe, all wrapped up into a single entity. I am the guardian of the worlds accessed through these portals, because I [I]am[/I] the portal. Everyone who has lived, will live and all who live now know me in some form or other. I am all of you in some ways, which is why you can all see me. I appear thus because it is who you all expect me to be." He was smiling kindly at Liz now. "I could just as easily be someone else."
"Like who?" Liz asked, although Max could tell by the way she perked up that she already had someone in mind.
"Like me Honeybear."
Max watched in amazement as Lucianus disappeared and was replaced by the woman who had played such a large role in Liz's life, and in his, although he had never known it.
Grandma Claudia.
