[u]Part 49[/u]
[I]Here I am, this is me, There's nowhere else on Earth I'd rather be. Here I am, it's just me and you Tonight we make our dreams come true.
It's a new world, it's a new start, It's alive with the beating of young hearts. It's a new day, it's a new plan I've been waiting for you, Here I am.
Here we are, we've just begun And after all this time, our time has come. Here we are, still going strong, Right here in the place where we belong.
It's a new world, it's a new start, It's alive with the beating of young hearts. It's a new day, it's a new plan I've been waiting for you, Here I am.
Here I am, next to you And suddenly the world is all brand new Here I am, where I'm going to stay Now there's nothing standing in our way Here I am... This is me.
Bryan Adams[/I]
"So we're still going then?" Michael sounded weary, making Tess's eyelids droop even more. She was barely managing to stay alert as it was, the couch she and Kyle were entangled on entirely too comfortable. It didn't help that she had pretty much drained all of her energy, first by mindwarping for too long earlier that night, then by healing Ren.
They had returned to the Safe House after Nasedo's judgment, all agreeing that what was needed more than another immediate trip through the portal was a good night's sleep. That didn't mean that Max hadn't insisted on meeting before they could all go to bed. Only Ren had been allowed to escape, Jennetta insisting that he undergo a full physical exam to ensure that he was truly all right. She had chosen to stay with him, telling Michael that he could speak for her. She trusted them all to make the right decisions anyway, she had added when she'd left the room.
They had all been mildly annoyed by Max's dictate, exhausted as they were, but no one had argued. He deserved a little leeway since it had been his plan that had saved them all. Max hadn't even really noticed their chagrin anyway. Of all of them, he and Liz were the only ones who seemed to be fully awake, both still on a high from whatever it was they had experienced when they had been judged. Tess snickered slightly now at the fact that they had chosen to sit on opposite ends of the meeting room, as though if they were anywhere near one another, they might just forget about everyone else's presence and jump each other.
"What?" Kyle whispered against her temple, sending a shiver down her spine. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the goose bumps that were rising on her skin.
"Is it just me or is the sexual tension in this room enough to set this whole place on fire?" Tess whispered back.
Kyle's eyes widened as they met hers. She realized abruptly that he thought she meant between the two of them. Of course, as soon as she understood this, her heart started to pound more quickly. Tess swallowed, then quickly added, "I mean between Max and Liz."
He grinned at her, his blue eyes twinkling. "Of course you do."
Tess swatted him and sat up, putting a foot between them, if only for her own present piece of mind. She forced herself to tune back in to what Max was saying, but not before meeting Isabel's gaze. The tall blonde was eyeing her knowingly. Tess smiled back innocently.
".only have to decide when," Max was replying. "I think the sooner the better, so that we can all put this behind us. But we're obviously not going to send Jennetta by herself. I need to officially abdicate and we need to make sure that everything's secure there."
"And there's still the matter of Milena," Alex spoke up. Tess looked at him curiously. Isabel's boyfriend sounded a bit tentative. "We can't just leave her running around free Max. We can't guarantee that she won't try to hijack Isabel's brain again."
"Alex, I'm fine," Isabel insisted, reaching out to squeeze his hand.
"I know you are Iz. And I don't want you to think that I don't trust you," Alex replied. "It's [I]her[/I] I don't trust."
"I agree," Michael stated. "She's still a threat."
Max sighed. "I don't know what to tell you guys. In spite of everything she's done, she's our mother."
Tess bit her lip, felt bad for her friend. When she spoke, it was only to voice her sympathy, not because she thought what she was saying would have any impact. "It's just too bad we can't take her gift away from her."
Max looked at her, frowning thoughtfully. "Wait a minute.that's actually not a bad idea." He looked over at Jemma, who was seated near the desk, merely listening now that Max was fully back in control. "It [I]is[/I] possible for us to burn out our powers. Tess did it tonight," he added, nodding towards Tess, who shifted uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at her. "I don't suppose there's any way for my mother to lose her powers permanently?"
Jemma shook her head. "Not unless she chooses it willingly. The Ring has been known to still gifts, but it is only at the individual's request."
"Okay, is there anything that Ring thingy [I]can't[/I] do?" Maria wondered.
"The Ring's possibilities are endless," Jemma replied firmly. "It's power is all power. It can do many things we have not yet even dreamed of asking of it."
"If Ren asks her." Isabel said quietly. "I'll bet she'd do it if he asked her."
They all exchanged glances, Max and Isabel's gazes locking for a long time. Max finally said, "I'll talk to him."
"Are we done here?" Maria asked, after a long moment of silence. "I want to check on Jenny."
"Just one more thing." Jemma stood up, a serious expression on her face. "We still have not decided what we will do with the cleansed Dernians. Clearly we will destroy all the cleansing pods as one of the first acts of Jennetta's new government, but we cannot allow the unfeeling ones to live among us."
There was an uncomfortable pause. Tess narrowed her eyes, could feel the uncertainty that began to invade the room.
"We are not going to destroy an entire segment of Illyria's population," Max finally stated. "Jennetta's reign will not begin with bloodshed."
"Certainly not."
Their heads all turned as Jennetta swept into the room, looking angry. She glared at Jemma. "I already told you once that I refuse to do that. It's unacceptable." Tess was surprised when the pretty young woman's face softened. "But it's not necessary anyway. The answer is so simple."
"There is no way to reverse the cleansing," Jemma argued. "There [I]is[/I] no other answer."
"There is [I]always[/I] another way," Jennetta snapped. "My father's cleansing was counteracted by the portal after all."
"His cleansing was faulty," Jemma reminded her. "The pods Laren used were modified, were not the real thing."
"I know that," Jenny continued. "Will you let me finish? I know that you see me as little more than a child Jemma, but you told me that you want to follow me. If that's true, then you need to learn to keep your mouth shut unless I ask you to open it."
Tess smirked slightly, glanced at Kyle, who seemed equally as amused by the captain's astonishment. The woman finally cleared her throat and said, "I apologize your highness."
Jennetta looked a little embarrassed by now, obviously disliking playing the queen card, but she returned to her argument. "Ren was cleansed. When my father and his four square brought him back, he was whole again, the cleansing eradicated. Why can't a four square use healing stones to do the same for other Dernians?"
Tess was impressed. She could tell that the rest of them were as well. Why they hadn't thought of this before, she wasn't sure. But it made perfect sense.
"What about the Dernians that don't want to be [I]healed[/I]?" Alex asked. Tess grimaced. She hadn't thought of [I]that[/I] either.
"As long as they are willing to accept my government, we will not force it on anyone," Jennetta replied firmly. "But I'm guessing that the majority of them will go for it." She paused, then continued quietly, "Ren will be there as an example of what it means to be turned back after all. He will be king and he is one of them. Dernians have only ever wanted to a strong leader anyway. They will follow him."
"King?" Michael demanded. "Does this mean what I think it means?" Tess raised her hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide her slight smile at his tone. He did not sound any too pleased. Her brother noticed and glared at her, then turned back to Jenny. "You've decided you're getting married already? Aren't you a bit young?"
Jennetta scratched her ear, clearly uncomfortable. "Well, no. I'm technically older than you are Michael. Ren and I haven't had a chance to talk though. No decision has been made." She raised her chin. "But whether we're together or not, I fully intend to offer that we marry and co-rule. It doesn't have to be romantic. I can't do it alone and the Dernians will accept me more easily if one of their own is my husband. He's the only choice after all. He's Jaxon and Mirana's brother, even if it is not through the royal line."
"Jennetta." Maria shook her head. "Sweetie, I don't know if that's such a great idea."
Tess agreed. There really was no telling how Ren was going to adjust to his new status as an emotional being. While they all knew he was loyal to Jenny, who knew how that would manifest itself now that he had feelings? It might not be romantic at all. As Jennetta's feelings for him were clearly romantic, she could just end up miserable. Look how bad it had been for Tess and Kyle and Tess had always known deep down that Kyle loved her. The thought of that Jennetta might be setting herself up for such pain.a loveless marriage - it not being such a great idea was actually a bit of an understatement, Tess reflected.
"I've made my decision," Jennetta replied firmly. "The offer will be made when I get a chance to speak to him alone."
"Well, I guess that's all for tonight," Max said, when no one had anything more to say after this. They were all just trying not look at each other actually. Tess sighed. She should have known that getting rid of Nasedo wouldn't necessarily mean that everything was going to just fall into place. "Get a good night's sleep everyone and relax during the day," Max continued. "If no one has any objections, we leave for Illyria after dark tomorrow night." Tess watched, amused, as he made his way over to Liz's side and they quickly left the room. Anyone who didn't know what they were headed off to do was either blind or living in denial, which Tess was pretty sure Isabel was trying to do from the look on Max's sister's face.
The rest of the group filtered out of the room. Alex and Isabel headed off in one direction holding hands, while Michael and Maria left with Jenny and Jemma in the other to check on Ren.
Tess bit her lip when she realized that she and Kyle were left alone. Whatever sexual tension Max and Liz had taken with them was obviously not enough because Tess could already feel the air beginning to pop and crackle when she finally allowed herself to meet his eyes.
"Do you want to go check on your dad?" She asked, her voice sounding a little weak to her ears, as she became aware of the look on his face. They really should look in on the Sheriff though. He had a huge bump on his head from where Nasedo had knocked him out.
"He's probably asleep," Kyle replied, his hand inching towards her across the expanse that separated them. "He told me we'd talk in the morning."
"He was really happy to see you back," Tess said, shifting away from him. "He was obviously worried about you. I hope he forgives me for what happened. It was my fault you were in the Ring that day after all." She knew she was chattering ridiculously, could see from the slight frown appearing on his face that he was beginning to wonder why.
"He never blamed you," Kyle answered, although he was quite obviously distracted. His next words confirmed why. "What's wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?" Tess squeaked. "Nothing."
"Bull. What's wrong? You're suddenly acting like I have cooties or something." He glanced meaningfully at the distance that still existed between them on the couch, although he had made an attempt to breach it.
"I." Tess trailed off nervously. "I just."
"Tess, do you think I expect you to sleep with me tonight?" Kyle demanded, so abruptly, she jumped.
"What?" She exclaimed, shocked that he was being so blunt. Although, as soon as he said it, she realized that it was exactly what she [I]had[/I] thought. There was a long pause as they both stared at each other. "I don't know. Do you want to? I mean, it [I]is[/I] the first time in a long time that we're actually going to be alone."
"Of course I want to," Kyle replied patiently. "I don't [I]expect[/I] to, but I [I]want[/I] to. I love you. But it doesn't have to be tonight, so you can stop acting so jumpy. I sort of want you awake when it happens for the first time you know. Come to think of it, I want to be awake too. We're both way too tired." He was beginning to sound amused, much to Tess's chagrin. She could feel heat rising in her cheeks.
"I [I]am[/I] tired," she admitted. She wrinkled her nose. "I just.I don't want you to think that [I]I[/I] don't want to. I just don't want to tonight."
"Then I don't either," Kyle said. "It's as simple as that." He stood. Tess watched him, still frowning slightly. She didn't have long to analyze what had just happened here though. Because in the next second, Kyle reached down and scooped her up in his arms.
"Kyle! What are you doing?" Tess shrieked in surprise.
"I'm taking you to bed," Kyle told her. "You obviously need your sleep if you think that I'd pressure you into sex. Have I or have I not been the most patient human on two planets?"
Tess scowled. "Patient? You think you're patient? You're insane Valenti. [I]I'm[/I] the patient one."
Kyle grinned at her, kissing her on the tip of her nose. "Whatever you say."
She couldn't help herself. She smiled back. "I do want to sleep with you tonight you know," she said. "[I]Sleep,[/I] sleep I mean. Will you stay with me?"
Kyle kissed her as he set her on her feet. Her knees felt weak when he finally pulled away. "I'll just have to check with my other girlfriends," he replied cheekily. When Tess pinched him, he kissed her again, then whispered against her ear, "I will always stay with you."
A quarter of an hour later, as she was drifting off with her head comfortably pressed against Kyle's chest, his heart beating steadily under her ear, Tess reflected sleepily that he wasn't going to have to be patient with her for long. She was ready to give her body to this man. What was there to be afraid of after all? He already held her heart and her soul for all time.
**
Alex was propped up by the pillows against the head-board in the room they had been assigned. He knew he was taking far too much pleasure in watching Isabel brush her teeth, but he really couldn't help it. It was just so [I]normal[/I]. It had been so long since they had enjoyed anything even approximating normalcy. He liked normal. Normal was fun.
Isabel noticed him staring at her in the mirror. She turned, frowned at him. "What?"
"Nothing," Alex shrugged. He paused, then grinned. "You look very sexy when you brush your teeth you know."
Isabel rolled her eyes. "I'm too tired to look sexy Alex." She turned back to the sink, set her toothbrush down, then came across the room and sat down beside him. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "I can trust you to keep your hands to yourself, can I not?"
"Who, moi?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. "Really Iz. You're not my type at all. It's all I can do to even lie here and not run screaming for the hills at the mere prospect of having to share this bed with you."
"Well, that's going a little overboard," Isabel grumbled, crawling under the covers and wrapping her arms around him. His heart skipped a beat when he met her eyes. They were twinkling and she suddenly seemed nowhere near as exhausted as she had moments before. "I may have to make you take that back," she added flirtatiously.
"Promises, promises," Alex replied, grimacing when his voice cracked a little. Nonchalance in this situation was becoming increasingly difficult. Isabel was now staring at his lips, her interest marked. "Although, not that I expect you to prove that," he added. "I mean, you are tired. Going to sleep right now is probably the best idea. I'm kind of tired too." He paused, then said carefully. "And I'm a little worried about you Iz. Are you sure this whole think with Milena is okay with you? I know how important she's always been to you."
Isabel sighed. "Alex, I swear I'm fine." She pulled away from him, sitting up to stare down at him. "I really mean it. You know, it's actually the best thing that ever could have happened to me - to find out for sure that there was nothing better out there for me. That I have absolutely everything I want right here." She smiled at him. "I really never [I]did[/I] need her you know. I have a mom already. I have a great dad and a great brother and wonderful friends." She leaned over and kissed him lightly. "And the most perfect boyfriend in the world."
He grinned, reassured. He knew that she wouldn't lie to him about this - not anymore. Whatever confrontation came with Milena once they were on Illyria, it would not hurt Isabel any longer. The relief of it was like a great weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Just wanted to make sure," Alex finally told her when she started to raise her eyebrows at his lack of response.
"I can't say that I'm surprised. Alex, is it possible for you to kiss me without it becoming a completely over-dramatized moment?" Isabel asked, obviously amused.
"Actually, that's a very good question," Alex admitted, shaking his head and wondering if it [I]was[/I] possible.
Isabel sighed. "I'm tired of talking. We talk way too much. Alex, shut up and kiss me."
"I love it when you're forceful," he replied, lowering his head and following his princess's command.
***
"Letting her go in there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," Michael admitted as he pulled Maria against his chest. They were still standing outside Ren's hospital room, both staring at the door through which their daughter had just disappeared.
"He's going to look after her Michael," Maria replied quietly. "Better than we ever could. She's not ours. She never really has been. She's going to do what she wants to do, no matter what we think. Our job is to support her, no matter what."
"But what if we're wrong about this?" Michael demanded. "What if he doesn't love her like she deserves? I mean, up until two hours ago, the guy had no feelings. He [I]chose[/I] to have no feelings. Maybe he won't know how to love her. It might be a gigantic disaster Maria. It might even restart a planet-wide civil war. Because if he hurts her, I'm going to have to kill him and I don't think the Dernians are going to be very happy with me if that happens."
Maria laughed. Michael scowled. She thought he was joking. He so was [I]not[/I] joking. "Michael, it's going to be fine. Jeez. I miss the days when you could barely string two words together. You're becoming really whiny."
Michael ignored her taunt, returned to his rant. "How do you know that?"
"Ren's stone wall can't possibly be any higher to scale then yours was Spaceboy. If I managed to get you to feel something, Ren should be a cinch. And whether he was cleansed or not, Ren has always felt, even if he didn't know it. He has always been loyal and loyalty comes from love. He loves her. I have no doubt."
Michael stared down at her, annoyed. "I don't know whether to feel relieved or insulted," he finally admitted.
Maria pulled away, took him by the hand and started to drag him down the clean, white hallway towards their bedroom. She turned her head and quirked a grin at him. "Try relieved. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight. We have much better things to do. And when did I become the guy in this relationship?"
Michael felt a flash of pure lust run right through him at the smoldering expression on her face, barely heard the last thing she said. He eventually stopped walking though, pulled Maria to a stop. "Wait. What about Jenny? She may need us."
"She won't," Maria assured him. "I'm sure she has much better things to do too than hang out with her parents."
Michael scowled. "Nice Maria. Ruin the mood, why don't you? I may be ill." The mere thought of Jennetta engaged in any sort of activity to which he had just been ascribing the starring role to Maria in his imagination was enough to put him off his food.
Maria merely smiled. "You can pretend you're sick or you can admit the only thing you really want to do right now is make-out with me. It's your choice Michael, but I guarantee the latter will be much more believable. And much more fun."
He couldn't help himself. He grinned at her and damn if it didn't feel good. "Fine. I surrender."
"No kidding," Maria replied, pushing him through the door into their room, slamming it behind her, then throwing herself into his arms. They tumbled onto the bed, already kissing frantically. Michael ran his hands through Maria's long reddish blonde locks, his love for her so overwhelming in that moment, he actually felt a lump enter his throat.
This was his love. They shared a daughter, but they shared so much more too, it was almost beyond his comprehension. They were the same, alien and human differences not meaning a thing. He could not imagine spending another instant not knowing that she was going to belong to him forever.
Twisting so that she was under him on the bed, he raised his head and stared down at her, wanting to memorize every part of her face at this moment. Maria opened her eyes, frowning slightly. "What's wrong?" She asked, her voice sultry. "I'm not nearly done with you yet."
Michael swallowed, wondered if it was possible for his heart to beat its way right out of his chest. He would say it quickly. That would make sure he got it all out before she started laughing. Deciding this of course meant that he went out on a tangent almost immediately. When he looked back on it later, he could only roll his eyes in irritation at how much Maria was rubbing off on him. "Do you remember that night that Jenny went into her pod and we weren't sure that she was going to survive it?"
Maria stared up at him, confusion crossing her pretty face. "Well, yeah. May I ask why you're bringing that up right now? Things are good Michael. Do we have to dredge up our horrid past?"
"I want to get married."
Maria's blue eyes widened in shock. She then blinked several times quickly, as though her brain was trying to process what he had just said. "Wh.what?" She finally sputtered.
"You heard me. I want to get married. I know we're too young, but I don't give a crap. I already feel married to you anyway. I want to make it official."
There was a long moment of silence as Maria continued to stare at him. "Say something!" He eventually pleaded, when he literally thought he might pass out if she didn't.
She seemed more bewildered than anything when she said, "I'm just trying to figure out how we went from making out, to talking about pods, to a marriage proposal in two seconds flat."
Michael sighed, raked a hand through his hair in frustration as he rolled off her. "I so knew I was going to screw this up," he muttered. "It made perfect sense in my head."
Maria propped her head up on her hand, reached out and gently turned his chin so that he was facing her. "Explain."
"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" Michael asked, closing his eyes in frustration and trying to regroup.
"I remember a lot of things," Maria replied. "What are you referring to specifically?"
"You told me that night that you thought that we had been chosen to have Jenny because we were the ones who would most know what a sacrifice it would be to lose her - that losing the chance to watch her grow up was the sacrifice we had to make to prove we were worthy."
"I did?" Maria wrinkled her nose. Michael glared at her until she smiled softly. "Fine, I did. I remember. What's your point Spaceboy?"
"You asked me if I could keep Jenny by giving you up, whether I'd do it." Michael trailed off. "We both agreed then that we would both do it. If keeping our daughter meant that we could never be together, we were positive there was no contest. We'd both choose Jenny."
Maria's expression saddened. "Yeah, I remember."
"I was thinking about that earlier tonight," Michael continued. "I realized that something's changed. I don't think I could do that anymore. I don't think I'd be able to give you up for anyone - even for our daughter. I know I should feel bad about that, but I don't. Jenny is going to be just fine without us. You were right about that before. But I know for a fact that I would never be all right again without you." He pulled the ring off his thumb, clenched in his fist. He could see Maria's eyes staring at his hand in fascination, but he managed to shut her out for a moment as he concentrated on the small circle of silver.
Moments later he opened his hand and the silver ring that would not have fit her small fingers before sat there, perfectly sized.
"Jenny doesn't need us because she's like you. She's independent and feisty and she is going to make a great queen. We'll never lose her. She's a part of us. But I can still lose you. We're going back to Roswell eventually, back to our semi-normal lives, but I want to make sure that we're square before we do. I know we're young and I know that you have all these dreams about getting out and making something of yourself. I just want you to know that whatever they are, I want to help you make them come true." He slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, kissing her knuckles after. "This is my promise to you. I won't give you up for anyone. Ever."
Maria's eyes were so wide, Michael briefly wondered if she had blinked in the last few minutes. "Well?" He finally prompted. "Silence does not bode well in our relationship Maria. Yell at me or something because.." He never got a chance to finish the sentence because Maria started kissing him again.
It took several minutes more for Michael to realize that he still hadn't received a concrete answer. He pulled back again, raised his eyebrows at her. He wanted to hear her say yes, [I]needed[/I] to hear it. She seemed to understand because she smiled up at him, her joy shining from her expressive blue eyes. "Consider yourself promised Tristandor of Dernia."
He grimaced at her. "I hate that name."
"It really is kind of stupid," Maria agreed, grinning.
"That's not what I meant," Michael retorted. "This is a new life Maria. I've always known, since I first found out who I used to be, I'm no longer him."
"That's pretty ironic, don't you think?" Maria asked. "You, of all people, in no way identifying with who you were before. When I first met you, all you wanted to know was who you were."
"It's what we both wanted to know," Michael reminded her. "And I know now. I'm yours."
Maria snorted. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm sharing this bed with a shapeshifter. You are entirely too eloquent to be Michael." She seemed pleased though, was blushing a very charming shade of red.
"I guess I'll just to prove I'm exactly who you think I am," Michael growled, burying his face in her neck and raining kisses down to her collar bone. He felt her shiver under him, raised his head with satisfaction to look into her face. "Do you still want to wait for the porn palace?"
"No," she gasped. "We aren't going to be back in Roswell for months and months. We're practically married now pally. I'd say we've waited long enough."
"I'd say you're right," Michael grinned, before allowing himself to let go completely.
***
Jennetta's heart was beating a rough tattoo against her rib-cage as she stopped next to Ren's hospital bed. She knew that she had demonstrated extraordinary confidence in her parent's presence moments before, but now that she was alone with Ren, it was all gone. He very simply held the fate of her heart in his hands and she was almost positive he hadn't even realized it yet.
His eyes had followed her approach across the room, their dark depths unreadable. He might have had his emotions returned, but the lack of expression on his face at the moment seemed to indicate otherwise.
"I'm back," she said quietly.
"I see," he replied. "Is everything all right?"
"We're going back to Illyria tomorrow night," Jennetta replied, grimacing at the awkwardness that existed between them. She almost missed their old arguments. At least then it hadn't been like this. "I told them all my plan for unifying the planet," she added. "They weren't surprised."
Ren raised his eyebrows. "Why should they be? You are the chosen one your highness. You will take on more and more of the leadership role when the king abdicates his throne."
She clenched her hands in front of her. "That's not what I meant," she said firmly. She was determined that she wasn't going to leave this room again until she said exactly what she had to say to him. She had chickened out earlier, had pretended that she needed to go check in with the others, but that hadn't been the truth at all. She had felt so uncomfortable, so unsure of him. She had been warned that he might have a difficult time adjusting to his new liberated emotions, but, instead, he seemed to have barely changed at all. It had freaked her out.
And, yet, Max had assured her that Ren knew how she felt about him. She had no reason to feel embarrassed now. He [I]knew[/I]. If he didn't feel the same, if her parents and all their friends had misinterpreted his loyalty, well, she would deal with it. Because she needed him. They were the only ones who could truly make things right on their home planet.
"I wish you'd call me by my name," she told him.
"You are my queen," Ren reminded her. "It is right that I call you by your title."
"But you're the brother of the king," Jennetta argued. "In fact, some might say you are more royal than I am."
"I am illegitimate. It does not count." He met her eyes. "Jennetta, I know what you are here to say. I am honored, but I cannot accept."
Her heart dropped. "You haven't even."
"What you feel for me, it is not real. You are so young." He reached out and touched her cheek gently. A shiver ran down her spine. "I left you suddenly. You have misjudged why you missed me. I was the only one who could support you and help you to become the queen you were meant to be. They were all like lost sheep, but they are strong now. You do not need me."
"I did not misjudge," Jennetta snapped. "I know what I feel. I love you. And it [I]is[/I]you I need."
Ren sighed, leaned back against the pillows wearily. "Jennetta."
"No," she interrupted firmly. "Don't use [I]me[/I] as an excuse if you don't want this. Tell me the truth. If you're confused or having problems adjusting to your feelings, then tell me. There is no rush Ren. I'll wait. Just tell me.and don't lie. I'll know if you're lying."
She wasn't sure where the strength to say this to him came from. She was disappointed that the pieces weren't just going to fall into place. Yet, it didn't hurt nearly as badly as she might have expected. Looking back later, she was able to see that, finally, what he needed was more important to her than what she wanted. And, somehow, she already knew that he needed time - time to adjust to what she was offering him, time to accept actually being able to feel whatever emotion it engendered within him.
She asked him her question anyway, if only to give him something to think about. "If I wasn't going to be queen, would your answer today be different?"
He opened his eyes in surprise, stared at her for a long moment, seemingly unable to speak.
The small flame of hope that still burned in her heart jumped. "If it wouldn't be, you'd say so right away," she told him triumphantly. "And so I'll wait. We have a lifetime."
With that, she leaned forward, kissed him lightly on the cheek, wondering how on Earth it was possible that she was able to be this calm. She supposed it was because she knew that, in the end, she was going to get exactly what she wanted. They both were. He needed time and she would give it to him.
As she left the room, she just hoped that she could be patient. She grinned slightly to herself. Given her parentage, it might be a problem.
***
Liz slipped back under the covers, her journal tucked under her arm. She grimaced when Max shifted and muttered in his sleep, then smiled slightly when he merely turned over so that he was now facing her, still dead to the world. He even started to snore lightly. She was going to have to bug him about that later. They had both been so wired when they had gone to bed, they had actually made a bet over who was going to fall asleep first.
Of course, she [I]had[/I] cheated to win. She had exhausted him, quite obviously. She had been even [I]more[/I] energized after they made love, while he had passed out almost immediately. It didn't mean she wasn't going to enjoy the full body massage he now owed her. In fact, she shivered slightly at the mere thought of it.
She knew she should try and go to sleep - she was going to need her strength later - but she still wasn't at all tired. It was why she had decided to try and catch up on her writing. It didn't help that sunlight was beginning to peek into the room from under the blinds on the other side of the bed. The beams were falling in such a way that they lit up Max's face, making him look even more beautiful to her than he normally did. Tilting her head, she pondered whether it would be mean to wake him up and demand he pay his debt immediately. She realized that she was still grinning like an idiot, wondered if the permanent smile etched on her face would ever fade.
It was why she had gone to her journal actually. She was going to try to get this joy down for posterity. Her poor diary was filled with so much angst. It was time for the leather-bound book to have its happily ever after.
Curling up against the pillows, she bit the end of her pen and thought about what she wanted to write. For some reason it felt important that it be perfect. She had a feeling that she would be retiring the volume soon. It was only fitting. A new beginning seemed to require a new journal. Or maybe no journal at all. Maybe it was time to stop writing about her feelings and just allow herself to [I]feel[/I] them.
What Nasedo had said to her - that he was attracted to her because she seemed so controlled, so able to mask her emotions - it had freaked her out a bit. While she knew it wasn't true, it wasn't a pleasant thing to wonder if that was how the others saw her. Max certainly knew who she was inside and out, but she didn't want to have to hide any part of herself from anyone ever again. If there was one thing she had learned over the past three years, it was that emotion and the free expression of it -good or bad - defined individuals. She knew who she was and she wanted the people she loved most to know too.
Finally, she was beginning to realize that she just didn't need the book anymore. It had been an outlet in which to examine her innermost thoughts and desires. She had Max for that now. She couldn't hide from him anyway. Their connection burned stronger than ever on the edge of her consciousness, even while he slept, reinforcing this fact. It was the scariest but, also, the best part of loving each other so completely.
In spite of her tentativeness, when her pen finally began its journey across the page, the words flowed like water.
[I]June 22, 2002 - Salisbury, England[/I]
I'm Liz Parker and it's hard to believe that Max is really lying asleep only inches away from me. It feels like my entire existence, everything we've gone through, has been all so that we could just share this perfect moment.
The way I feel about him.It's beyond me to even try and express in words any longer. I think its why its time to stop trying to do so here. He knows and [I]I[/I] know and that's all that matters. When I started this journal, everything was so new and, excuse the pun, alien, but our relationship is now the basis of who I've become.
I don't mean that we couldn't survive without each other. I know that the others wonder if that would be possible, but we could. It surprises me a bit, that they think that, because we've more than proven we can. It's just that we don't [I]want[/I] to. What happened in the Ring.It was intense. For one split second, we were the same person. I've always known in my heart that we are meant to be together, but what happened earlier tonight.It was almost primal. It was like whatever it is that exists in the Ring - whatever it is that gives it its power - has been waiting for us to come together for a long time. It was like the Ring itself was finally complete.
I'm doing a terrible job of explaining this. It's actually kind of embarrassing because I have a feeling this journal is going to end up in some sort of weird archive, like my grandma expected hers might. But, on the other hand, I don't really care if everyone reads all about my love story - about my happily ever after. What Max and I have is private but it's also something I want the whole world to share too. Everyone deserves to feel like this.
Because, in the end, in the simplest of terms, I'm Liz Parker, and I am loved.[/I]
To be continued.
[I]Here I am, this is me, There's nowhere else on Earth I'd rather be. Here I am, it's just me and you Tonight we make our dreams come true.
It's a new world, it's a new start, It's alive with the beating of young hearts. It's a new day, it's a new plan I've been waiting for you, Here I am.
Here we are, we've just begun And after all this time, our time has come. Here we are, still going strong, Right here in the place where we belong.
It's a new world, it's a new start, It's alive with the beating of young hearts. It's a new day, it's a new plan I've been waiting for you, Here I am.
Here I am, next to you And suddenly the world is all brand new Here I am, where I'm going to stay Now there's nothing standing in our way Here I am... This is me.
Bryan Adams[/I]
"So we're still going then?" Michael sounded weary, making Tess's eyelids droop even more. She was barely managing to stay alert as it was, the couch she and Kyle were entangled on entirely too comfortable. It didn't help that she had pretty much drained all of her energy, first by mindwarping for too long earlier that night, then by healing Ren.
They had returned to the Safe House after Nasedo's judgment, all agreeing that what was needed more than another immediate trip through the portal was a good night's sleep. That didn't mean that Max hadn't insisted on meeting before they could all go to bed. Only Ren had been allowed to escape, Jennetta insisting that he undergo a full physical exam to ensure that he was truly all right. She had chosen to stay with him, telling Michael that he could speak for her. She trusted them all to make the right decisions anyway, she had added when she'd left the room.
They had all been mildly annoyed by Max's dictate, exhausted as they were, but no one had argued. He deserved a little leeway since it had been his plan that had saved them all. Max hadn't even really noticed their chagrin anyway. Of all of them, he and Liz were the only ones who seemed to be fully awake, both still on a high from whatever it was they had experienced when they had been judged. Tess snickered slightly now at the fact that they had chosen to sit on opposite ends of the meeting room, as though if they were anywhere near one another, they might just forget about everyone else's presence and jump each other.
"What?" Kyle whispered against her temple, sending a shiver down her spine. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the goose bumps that were rising on her skin.
"Is it just me or is the sexual tension in this room enough to set this whole place on fire?" Tess whispered back.
Kyle's eyes widened as they met hers. She realized abruptly that he thought she meant between the two of them. Of course, as soon as she understood this, her heart started to pound more quickly. Tess swallowed, then quickly added, "I mean between Max and Liz."
He grinned at her, his blue eyes twinkling. "Of course you do."
Tess swatted him and sat up, putting a foot between them, if only for her own present piece of mind. She forced herself to tune back in to what Max was saying, but not before meeting Isabel's gaze. The tall blonde was eyeing her knowingly. Tess smiled back innocently.
".only have to decide when," Max was replying. "I think the sooner the better, so that we can all put this behind us. But we're obviously not going to send Jennetta by herself. I need to officially abdicate and we need to make sure that everything's secure there."
"And there's still the matter of Milena," Alex spoke up. Tess looked at him curiously. Isabel's boyfriend sounded a bit tentative. "We can't just leave her running around free Max. We can't guarantee that she won't try to hijack Isabel's brain again."
"Alex, I'm fine," Isabel insisted, reaching out to squeeze his hand.
"I know you are Iz. And I don't want you to think that I don't trust you," Alex replied. "It's [I]her[/I] I don't trust."
"I agree," Michael stated. "She's still a threat."
Max sighed. "I don't know what to tell you guys. In spite of everything she's done, she's our mother."
Tess bit her lip, felt bad for her friend. When she spoke, it was only to voice her sympathy, not because she thought what she was saying would have any impact. "It's just too bad we can't take her gift away from her."
Max looked at her, frowning thoughtfully. "Wait a minute.that's actually not a bad idea." He looked over at Jemma, who was seated near the desk, merely listening now that Max was fully back in control. "It [I]is[/I] possible for us to burn out our powers. Tess did it tonight," he added, nodding towards Tess, who shifted uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at her. "I don't suppose there's any way for my mother to lose her powers permanently?"
Jemma shook her head. "Not unless she chooses it willingly. The Ring has been known to still gifts, but it is only at the individual's request."
"Okay, is there anything that Ring thingy [I]can't[/I] do?" Maria wondered.
"The Ring's possibilities are endless," Jemma replied firmly. "It's power is all power. It can do many things we have not yet even dreamed of asking of it."
"If Ren asks her." Isabel said quietly. "I'll bet she'd do it if he asked her."
They all exchanged glances, Max and Isabel's gazes locking for a long time. Max finally said, "I'll talk to him."
"Are we done here?" Maria asked, after a long moment of silence. "I want to check on Jenny."
"Just one more thing." Jemma stood up, a serious expression on her face. "We still have not decided what we will do with the cleansed Dernians. Clearly we will destroy all the cleansing pods as one of the first acts of Jennetta's new government, but we cannot allow the unfeeling ones to live among us."
There was an uncomfortable pause. Tess narrowed her eyes, could feel the uncertainty that began to invade the room.
"We are not going to destroy an entire segment of Illyria's population," Max finally stated. "Jennetta's reign will not begin with bloodshed."
"Certainly not."
Their heads all turned as Jennetta swept into the room, looking angry. She glared at Jemma. "I already told you once that I refuse to do that. It's unacceptable." Tess was surprised when the pretty young woman's face softened. "But it's not necessary anyway. The answer is so simple."
"There is no way to reverse the cleansing," Jemma argued. "There [I]is[/I] no other answer."
"There is [I]always[/I] another way," Jennetta snapped. "My father's cleansing was counteracted by the portal after all."
"His cleansing was faulty," Jemma reminded her. "The pods Laren used were modified, were not the real thing."
"I know that," Jenny continued. "Will you let me finish? I know that you see me as little more than a child Jemma, but you told me that you want to follow me. If that's true, then you need to learn to keep your mouth shut unless I ask you to open it."
Tess smirked slightly, glanced at Kyle, who seemed equally as amused by the captain's astonishment. The woman finally cleared her throat and said, "I apologize your highness."
Jennetta looked a little embarrassed by now, obviously disliking playing the queen card, but she returned to her argument. "Ren was cleansed. When my father and his four square brought him back, he was whole again, the cleansing eradicated. Why can't a four square use healing stones to do the same for other Dernians?"
Tess was impressed. She could tell that the rest of them were as well. Why they hadn't thought of this before, she wasn't sure. But it made perfect sense.
"What about the Dernians that don't want to be [I]healed[/I]?" Alex asked. Tess grimaced. She hadn't thought of [I]that[/I] either.
"As long as they are willing to accept my government, we will not force it on anyone," Jennetta replied firmly. "But I'm guessing that the majority of them will go for it." She paused, then continued quietly, "Ren will be there as an example of what it means to be turned back after all. He will be king and he is one of them. Dernians have only ever wanted to a strong leader anyway. They will follow him."
"King?" Michael demanded. "Does this mean what I think it means?" Tess raised her hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide her slight smile at his tone. He did not sound any too pleased. Her brother noticed and glared at her, then turned back to Jenny. "You've decided you're getting married already? Aren't you a bit young?"
Jennetta scratched her ear, clearly uncomfortable. "Well, no. I'm technically older than you are Michael. Ren and I haven't had a chance to talk though. No decision has been made." She raised her chin. "But whether we're together or not, I fully intend to offer that we marry and co-rule. It doesn't have to be romantic. I can't do it alone and the Dernians will accept me more easily if one of their own is my husband. He's the only choice after all. He's Jaxon and Mirana's brother, even if it is not through the royal line."
"Jennetta." Maria shook her head. "Sweetie, I don't know if that's such a great idea."
Tess agreed. There really was no telling how Ren was going to adjust to his new status as an emotional being. While they all knew he was loyal to Jenny, who knew how that would manifest itself now that he had feelings? It might not be romantic at all. As Jennetta's feelings for him were clearly romantic, she could just end up miserable. Look how bad it had been for Tess and Kyle and Tess had always known deep down that Kyle loved her. The thought of that Jennetta might be setting herself up for such pain.a loveless marriage - it not being such a great idea was actually a bit of an understatement, Tess reflected.
"I've made my decision," Jennetta replied firmly. "The offer will be made when I get a chance to speak to him alone."
"Well, I guess that's all for tonight," Max said, when no one had anything more to say after this. They were all just trying not look at each other actually. Tess sighed. She should have known that getting rid of Nasedo wouldn't necessarily mean that everything was going to just fall into place. "Get a good night's sleep everyone and relax during the day," Max continued. "If no one has any objections, we leave for Illyria after dark tomorrow night." Tess watched, amused, as he made his way over to Liz's side and they quickly left the room. Anyone who didn't know what they were headed off to do was either blind or living in denial, which Tess was pretty sure Isabel was trying to do from the look on Max's sister's face.
The rest of the group filtered out of the room. Alex and Isabel headed off in one direction holding hands, while Michael and Maria left with Jenny and Jemma in the other to check on Ren.
Tess bit her lip when she realized that she and Kyle were left alone. Whatever sexual tension Max and Liz had taken with them was obviously not enough because Tess could already feel the air beginning to pop and crackle when she finally allowed herself to meet his eyes.
"Do you want to go check on your dad?" She asked, her voice sounding a little weak to her ears, as she became aware of the look on his face. They really should look in on the Sheriff though. He had a huge bump on his head from where Nasedo had knocked him out.
"He's probably asleep," Kyle replied, his hand inching towards her across the expanse that separated them. "He told me we'd talk in the morning."
"He was really happy to see you back," Tess said, shifting away from him. "He was obviously worried about you. I hope he forgives me for what happened. It was my fault you were in the Ring that day after all." She knew she was chattering ridiculously, could see from the slight frown appearing on his face that he was beginning to wonder why.
"He never blamed you," Kyle answered, although he was quite obviously distracted. His next words confirmed why. "What's wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?" Tess squeaked. "Nothing."
"Bull. What's wrong? You're suddenly acting like I have cooties or something." He glanced meaningfully at the distance that still existed between them on the couch, although he had made an attempt to breach it.
"I." Tess trailed off nervously. "I just."
"Tess, do you think I expect you to sleep with me tonight?" Kyle demanded, so abruptly, she jumped.
"What?" She exclaimed, shocked that he was being so blunt. Although, as soon as he said it, she realized that it was exactly what she [I]had[/I] thought. There was a long pause as they both stared at each other. "I don't know. Do you want to? I mean, it [I]is[/I] the first time in a long time that we're actually going to be alone."
"Of course I want to," Kyle replied patiently. "I don't [I]expect[/I] to, but I [I]want[/I] to. I love you. But it doesn't have to be tonight, so you can stop acting so jumpy. I sort of want you awake when it happens for the first time you know. Come to think of it, I want to be awake too. We're both way too tired." He was beginning to sound amused, much to Tess's chagrin. She could feel heat rising in her cheeks.
"I [I]am[/I] tired," she admitted. She wrinkled her nose. "I just.I don't want you to think that [I]I[/I] don't want to. I just don't want to tonight."
"Then I don't either," Kyle said. "It's as simple as that." He stood. Tess watched him, still frowning slightly. She didn't have long to analyze what had just happened here though. Because in the next second, Kyle reached down and scooped her up in his arms.
"Kyle! What are you doing?" Tess shrieked in surprise.
"I'm taking you to bed," Kyle told her. "You obviously need your sleep if you think that I'd pressure you into sex. Have I or have I not been the most patient human on two planets?"
Tess scowled. "Patient? You think you're patient? You're insane Valenti. [I]I'm[/I] the patient one."
Kyle grinned at her, kissing her on the tip of her nose. "Whatever you say."
She couldn't help herself. She smiled back. "I do want to sleep with you tonight you know," she said. "[I]Sleep,[/I] sleep I mean. Will you stay with me?"
Kyle kissed her as he set her on her feet. Her knees felt weak when he finally pulled away. "I'll just have to check with my other girlfriends," he replied cheekily. When Tess pinched him, he kissed her again, then whispered against her ear, "I will always stay with you."
A quarter of an hour later, as she was drifting off with her head comfortably pressed against Kyle's chest, his heart beating steadily under her ear, Tess reflected sleepily that he wasn't going to have to be patient with her for long. She was ready to give her body to this man. What was there to be afraid of after all? He already held her heart and her soul for all time.
**
Alex was propped up by the pillows against the head-board in the room they had been assigned. He knew he was taking far too much pleasure in watching Isabel brush her teeth, but he really couldn't help it. It was just so [I]normal[/I]. It had been so long since they had enjoyed anything even approximating normalcy. He liked normal. Normal was fun.
Isabel noticed him staring at her in the mirror. She turned, frowned at him. "What?"
"Nothing," Alex shrugged. He paused, then grinned. "You look very sexy when you brush your teeth you know."
Isabel rolled her eyes. "I'm too tired to look sexy Alex." She turned back to the sink, set her toothbrush down, then came across the room and sat down beside him. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "I can trust you to keep your hands to yourself, can I not?"
"Who, moi?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. "Really Iz. You're not my type at all. It's all I can do to even lie here and not run screaming for the hills at the mere prospect of having to share this bed with you."
"Well, that's going a little overboard," Isabel grumbled, crawling under the covers and wrapping her arms around him. His heart skipped a beat when he met her eyes. They were twinkling and she suddenly seemed nowhere near as exhausted as she had moments before. "I may have to make you take that back," she added flirtatiously.
"Promises, promises," Alex replied, grimacing when his voice cracked a little. Nonchalance in this situation was becoming increasingly difficult. Isabel was now staring at his lips, her interest marked. "Although, not that I expect you to prove that," he added. "I mean, you are tired. Going to sleep right now is probably the best idea. I'm kind of tired too." He paused, then said carefully. "And I'm a little worried about you Iz. Are you sure this whole think with Milena is okay with you? I know how important she's always been to you."
Isabel sighed. "Alex, I swear I'm fine." She pulled away from him, sitting up to stare down at him. "I really mean it. You know, it's actually the best thing that ever could have happened to me - to find out for sure that there was nothing better out there for me. That I have absolutely everything I want right here." She smiled at him. "I really never [I]did[/I] need her you know. I have a mom already. I have a great dad and a great brother and wonderful friends." She leaned over and kissed him lightly. "And the most perfect boyfriend in the world."
He grinned, reassured. He knew that she wouldn't lie to him about this - not anymore. Whatever confrontation came with Milena once they were on Illyria, it would not hurt Isabel any longer. The relief of it was like a great weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Just wanted to make sure," Alex finally told her when she started to raise her eyebrows at his lack of response.
"I can't say that I'm surprised. Alex, is it possible for you to kiss me without it becoming a completely over-dramatized moment?" Isabel asked, obviously amused.
"Actually, that's a very good question," Alex admitted, shaking his head and wondering if it [I]was[/I] possible.
Isabel sighed. "I'm tired of talking. We talk way too much. Alex, shut up and kiss me."
"I love it when you're forceful," he replied, lowering his head and following his princess's command.
***
"Letting her go in there was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," Michael admitted as he pulled Maria against his chest. They were still standing outside Ren's hospital room, both staring at the door through which their daughter had just disappeared.
"He's going to look after her Michael," Maria replied quietly. "Better than we ever could. She's not ours. She never really has been. She's going to do what she wants to do, no matter what we think. Our job is to support her, no matter what."
"But what if we're wrong about this?" Michael demanded. "What if he doesn't love her like she deserves? I mean, up until two hours ago, the guy had no feelings. He [I]chose[/I] to have no feelings. Maybe he won't know how to love her. It might be a gigantic disaster Maria. It might even restart a planet-wide civil war. Because if he hurts her, I'm going to have to kill him and I don't think the Dernians are going to be very happy with me if that happens."
Maria laughed. Michael scowled. She thought he was joking. He so was [I]not[/I] joking. "Michael, it's going to be fine. Jeez. I miss the days when you could barely string two words together. You're becoming really whiny."
Michael ignored her taunt, returned to his rant. "How do you know that?"
"Ren's stone wall can't possibly be any higher to scale then yours was Spaceboy. If I managed to get you to feel something, Ren should be a cinch. And whether he was cleansed or not, Ren has always felt, even if he didn't know it. He has always been loyal and loyalty comes from love. He loves her. I have no doubt."
Michael stared down at her, annoyed. "I don't know whether to feel relieved or insulted," he finally admitted.
Maria pulled away, took him by the hand and started to drag him down the clean, white hallway towards their bedroom. She turned her head and quirked a grin at him. "Try relieved. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight. We have much better things to do. And when did I become the guy in this relationship?"
Michael felt a flash of pure lust run right through him at the smoldering expression on her face, barely heard the last thing she said. He eventually stopped walking though, pulled Maria to a stop. "Wait. What about Jenny? She may need us."
"She won't," Maria assured him. "I'm sure she has much better things to do too than hang out with her parents."
Michael scowled. "Nice Maria. Ruin the mood, why don't you? I may be ill." The mere thought of Jennetta engaged in any sort of activity to which he had just been ascribing the starring role to Maria in his imagination was enough to put him off his food.
Maria merely smiled. "You can pretend you're sick or you can admit the only thing you really want to do right now is make-out with me. It's your choice Michael, but I guarantee the latter will be much more believable. And much more fun."
He couldn't help himself. He grinned at her and damn if it didn't feel good. "Fine. I surrender."
"No kidding," Maria replied, pushing him through the door into their room, slamming it behind her, then throwing herself into his arms. They tumbled onto the bed, already kissing frantically. Michael ran his hands through Maria's long reddish blonde locks, his love for her so overwhelming in that moment, he actually felt a lump enter his throat.
This was his love. They shared a daughter, but they shared so much more too, it was almost beyond his comprehension. They were the same, alien and human differences not meaning a thing. He could not imagine spending another instant not knowing that she was going to belong to him forever.
Twisting so that she was under him on the bed, he raised his head and stared down at her, wanting to memorize every part of her face at this moment. Maria opened her eyes, frowning slightly. "What's wrong?" She asked, her voice sultry. "I'm not nearly done with you yet."
Michael swallowed, wondered if it was possible for his heart to beat its way right out of his chest. He would say it quickly. That would make sure he got it all out before she started laughing. Deciding this of course meant that he went out on a tangent almost immediately. When he looked back on it later, he could only roll his eyes in irritation at how much Maria was rubbing off on him. "Do you remember that night that Jenny went into her pod and we weren't sure that she was going to survive it?"
Maria stared up at him, confusion crossing her pretty face. "Well, yeah. May I ask why you're bringing that up right now? Things are good Michael. Do we have to dredge up our horrid past?"
"I want to get married."
Maria's blue eyes widened in shock. She then blinked several times quickly, as though her brain was trying to process what he had just said. "Wh.what?" She finally sputtered.
"You heard me. I want to get married. I know we're too young, but I don't give a crap. I already feel married to you anyway. I want to make it official."
There was a long moment of silence as Maria continued to stare at him. "Say something!" He eventually pleaded, when he literally thought he might pass out if she didn't.
She seemed more bewildered than anything when she said, "I'm just trying to figure out how we went from making out, to talking about pods, to a marriage proposal in two seconds flat."
Michael sighed, raked a hand through his hair in frustration as he rolled off her. "I so knew I was going to screw this up," he muttered. "It made perfect sense in my head."
Maria propped her head up on her hand, reached out and gently turned his chin so that he was facing her. "Explain."
"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" Michael asked, closing his eyes in frustration and trying to regroup.
"I remember a lot of things," Maria replied. "What are you referring to specifically?"
"You told me that night that you thought that we had been chosen to have Jenny because we were the ones who would most know what a sacrifice it would be to lose her - that losing the chance to watch her grow up was the sacrifice we had to make to prove we were worthy."
"I did?" Maria wrinkled her nose. Michael glared at her until she smiled softly. "Fine, I did. I remember. What's your point Spaceboy?"
"You asked me if I could keep Jenny by giving you up, whether I'd do it." Michael trailed off. "We both agreed then that we would both do it. If keeping our daughter meant that we could never be together, we were positive there was no contest. We'd both choose Jenny."
Maria's expression saddened. "Yeah, I remember."
"I was thinking about that earlier tonight," Michael continued. "I realized that something's changed. I don't think I could do that anymore. I don't think I'd be able to give you up for anyone - even for our daughter. I know I should feel bad about that, but I don't. Jenny is going to be just fine without us. You were right about that before. But I know for a fact that I would never be all right again without you." He pulled the ring off his thumb, clenched in his fist. He could see Maria's eyes staring at his hand in fascination, but he managed to shut her out for a moment as he concentrated on the small circle of silver.
Moments later he opened his hand and the silver ring that would not have fit her small fingers before sat there, perfectly sized.
"Jenny doesn't need us because she's like you. She's independent and feisty and she is going to make a great queen. We'll never lose her. She's a part of us. But I can still lose you. We're going back to Roswell eventually, back to our semi-normal lives, but I want to make sure that we're square before we do. I know we're young and I know that you have all these dreams about getting out and making something of yourself. I just want you to know that whatever they are, I want to help you make them come true." He slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, kissing her knuckles after. "This is my promise to you. I won't give you up for anyone. Ever."
Maria's eyes were so wide, Michael briefly wondered if she had blinked in the last few minutes. "Well?" He finally prompted. "Silence does not bode well in our relationship Maria. Yell at me or something because.." He never got a chance to finish the sentence because Maria started kissing him again.
It took several minutes more for Michael to realize that he still hadn't received a concrete answer. He pulled back again, raised his eyebrows at her. He wanted to hear her say yes, [I]needed[/I] to hear it. She seemed to understand because she smiled up at him, her joy shining from her expressive blue eyes. "Consider yourself promised Tristandor of Dernia."
He grimaced at her. "I hate that name."
"It really is kind of stupid," Maria agreed, grinning.
"That's not what I meant," Michael retorted. "This is a new life Maria. I've always known, since I first found out who I used to be, I'm no longer him."
"That's pretty ironic, don't you think?" Maria asked. "You, of all people, in no way identifying with who you were before. When I first met you, all you wanted to know was who you were."
"It's what we both wanted to know," Michael reminded her. "And I know now. I'm yours."
Maria snorted. "You know, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm sharing this bed with a shapeshifter. You are entirely too eloquent to be Michael." She seemed pleased though, was blushing a very charming shade of red.
"I guess I'll just to prove I'm exactly who you think I am," Michael growled, burying his face in her neck and raining kisses down to her collar bone. He felt her shiver under him, raised his head with satisfaction to look into her face. "Do you still want to wait for the porn palace?"
"No," she gasped. "We aren't going to be back in Roswell for months and months. We're practically married now pally. I'd say we've waited long enough."
"I'd say you're right," Michael grinned, before allowing himself to let go completely.
***
Jennetta's heart was beating a rough tattoo against her rib-cage as she stopped next to Ren's hospital bed. She knew that she had demonstrated extraordinary confidence in her parent's presence moments before, but now that she was alone with Ren, it was all gone. He very simply held the fate of her heart in his hands and she was almost positive he hadn't even realized it yet.
His eyes had followed her approach across the room, their dark depths unreadable. He might have had his emotions returned, but the lack of expression on his face at the moment seemed to indicate otherwise.
"I'm back," she said quietly.
"I see," he replied. "Is everything all right?"
"We're going back to Illyria tomorrow night," Jennetta replied, grimacing at the awkwardness that existed between them. She almost missed their old arguments. At least then it hadn't been like this. "I told them all my plan for unifying the planet," she added. "They weren't surprised."
Ren raised his eyebrows. "Why should they be? You are the chosen one your highness. You will take on more and more of the leadership role when the king abdicates his throne."
She clenched her hands in front of her. "That's not what I meant," she said firmly. She was determined that she wasn't going to leave this room again until she said exactly what she had to say to him. She had chickened out earlier, had pretended that she needed to go check in with the others, but that hadn't been the truth at all. She had felt so uncomfortable, so unsure of him. She had been warned that he might have a difficult time adjusting to his new liberated emotions, but, instead, he seemed to have barely changed at all. It had freaked her out.
And, yet, Max had assured her that Ren knew how she felt about him. She had no reason to feel embarrassed now. He [I]knew[/I]. If he didn't feel the same, if her parents and all their friends had misinterpreted his loyalty, well, she would deal with it. Because she needed him. They were the only ones who could truly make things right on their home planet.
"I wish you'd call me by my name," she told him.
"You are my queen," Ren reminded her. "It is right that I call you by your title."
"But you're the brother of the king," Jennetta argued. "In fact, some might say you are more royal than I am."
"I am illegitimate. It does not count." He met her eyes. "Jennetta, I know what you are here to say. I am honored, but I cannot accept."
Her heart dropped. "You haven't even."
"What you feel for me, it is not real. You are so young." He reached out and touched her cheek gently. A shiver ran down her spine. "I left you suddenly. You have misjudged why you missed me. I was the only one who could support you and help you to become the queen you were meant to be. They were all like lost sheep, but they are strong now. You do not need me."
"I did not misjudge," Jennetta snapped. "I know what I feel. I love you. And it [I]is[/I]you I need."
Ren sighed, leaned back against the pillows wearily. "Jennetta."
"No," she interrupted firmly. "Don't use [I]me[/I] as an excuse if you don't want this. Tell me the truth. If you're confused or having problems adjusting to your feelings, then tell me. There is no rush Ren. I'll wait. Just tell me.and don't lie. I'll know if you're lying."
She wasn't sure where the strength to say this to him came from. She was disappointed that the pieces weren't just going to fall into place. Yet, it didn't hurt nearly as badly as she might have expected. Looking back later, she was able to see that, finally, what he needed was more important to her than what she wanted. And, somehow, she already knew that he needed time - time to adjust to what she was offering him, time to accept actually being able to feel whatever emotion it engendered within him.
She asked him her question anyway, if only to give him something to think about. "If I wasn't going to be queen, would your answer today be different?"
He opened his eyes in surprise, stared at her for a long moment, seemingly unable to speak.
The small flame of hope that still burned in her heart jumped. "If it wouldn't be, you'd say so right away," she told him triumphantly. "And so I'll wait. We have a lifetime."
With that, she leaned forward, kissed him lightly on the cheek, wondering how on Earth it was possible that she was able to be this calm. She supposed it was because she knew that, in the end, she was going to get exactly what she wanted. They both were. He needed time and she would give it to him.
As she left the room, she just hoped that she could be patient. She grinned slightly to herself. Given her parentage, it might be a problem.
***
Liz slipped back under the covers, her journal tucked under her arm. She grimaced when Max shifted and muttered in his sleep, then smiled slightly when he merely turned over so that he was now facing her, still dead to the world. He even started to snore lightly. She was going to have to bug him about that later. They had both been so wired when they had gone to bed, they had actually made a bet over who was going to fall asleep first.
Of course, she [I]had[/I] cheated to win. She had exhausted him, quite obviously. She had been even [I]more[/I] energized after they made love, while he had passed out almost immediately. It didn't mean she wasn't going to enjoy the full body massage he now owed her. In fact, she shivered slightly at the mere thought of it.
She knew she should try and go to sleep - she was going to need her strength later - but she still wasn't at all tired. It was why she had decided to try and catch up on her writing. It didn't help that sunlight was beginning to peek into the room from under the blinds on the other side of the bed. The beams were falling in such a way that they lit up Max's face, making him look even more beautiful to her than he normally did. Tilting her head, she pondered whether it would be mean to wake him up and demand he pay his debt immediately. She realized that she was still grinning like an idiot, wondered if the permanent smile etched on her face would ever fade.
It was why she had gone to her journal actually. She was going to try to get this joy down for posterity. Her poor diary was filled with so much angst. It was time for the leather-bound book to have its happily ever after.
Curling up against the pillows, she bit the end of her pen and thought about what she wanted to write. For some reason it felt important that it be perfect. She had a feeling that she would be retiring the volume soon. It was only fitting. A new beginning seemed to require a new journal. Or maybe no journal at all. Maybe it was time to stop writing about her feelings and just allow herself to [I]feel[/I] them.
What Nasedo had said to her - that he was attracted to her because she seemed so controlled, so able to mask her emotions - it had freaked her out a bit. While she knew it wasn't true, it wasn't a pleasant thing to wonder if that was how the others saw her. Max certainly knew who she was inside and out, but she didn't want to have to hide any part of herself from anyone ever again. If there was one thing she had learned over the past three years, it was that emotion and the free expression of it -good or bad - defined individuals. She knew who she was and she wanted the people she loved most to know too.
Finally, she was beginning to realize that she just didn't need the book anymore. It had been an outlet in which to examine her innermost thoughts and desires. She had Max for that now. She couldn't hide from him anyway. Their connection burned stronger than ever on the edge of her consciousness, even while he slept, reinforcing this fact. It was the scariest but, also, the best part of loving each other so completely.
In spite of her tentativeness, when her pen finally began its journey across the page, the words flowed like water.
[I]June 22, 2002 - Salisbury, England[/I]
I'm Liz Parker and it's hard to believe that Max is really lying asleep only inches away from me. It feels like my entire existence, everything we've gone through, has been all so that we could just share this perfect moment.
The way I feel about him.It's beyond me to even try and express in words any longer. I think its why its time to stop trying to do so here. He knows and [I]I[/I] know and that's all that matters. When I started this journal, everything was so new and, excuse the pun, alien, but our relationship is now the basis of who I've become.
I don't mean that we couldn't survive without each other. I know that the others wonder if that would be possible, but we could. It surprises me a bit, that they think that, because we've more than proven we can. It's just that we don't [I]want[/I] to. What happened in the Ring.It was intense. For one split second, we were the same person. I've always known in my heart that we are meant to be together, but what happened earlier tonight.It was almost primal. It was like whatever it is that exists in the Ring - whatever it is that gives it its power - has been waiting for us to come together for a long time. It was like the Ring itself was finally complete.
I'm doing a terrible job of explaining this. It's actually kind of embarrassing because I have a feeling this journal is going to end up in some sort of weird archive, like my grandma expected hers might. But, on the other hand, I don't really care if everyone reads all about my love story - about my happily ever after. What Max and I have is private but it's also something I want the whole world to share too. Everyone deserves to feel like this.
Because, in the end, in the simplest of terms, I'm Liz Parker, and I am loved.[/I]
To be continued.
