Disclaimer: laughs Yeah... I don't own FFIX... Or maybe I do...?
A/N: Ah, yes. I forgot to mention that this fic was actually based on Clue. Oh well. On with the story...
Chapter Four: Merchant Eiko
~*~*~*~*~*~
~The Playroom~ (this is what you were waiting for...)
Eiko: silently opens the old, wooden door and peeks inside
Kuja: folds his arms Are we going in or what?
Eiko: Maybe you wanna go in first?
Kuja: Whatever. Move aside. pushes her aside and storms in
Eiko: tiptoes behind Kuja
Kuja: Hurry up and stop being such a scaredy cat.
the door shuts closed
Eiko: What was that???
Kuja: Probably just the wind...
Eiko: How could it be wind if all the doors and windows in this place are closed???
Kuja: Then... Maybe it's a...
Eiko: I-it's a what...?
Kuja: ten minutes later
Eiko: Hello?! What?!
Kuja: ...a ghost...
Eiko: horrified look on her face Oh... my... gosh...
Kuja: laughs You actually BELIEVED me?! Gullible oaf! There're NO such things as GHOSTS! falls over
Eiko: Then what's that? points at a corner
Kuja: stops laughing takes out a flashlight A ghost.
Eiko: But I thought there were no such things!
Kuja: Well I fooled you again! Stupid...
Eiko: face turns red
Kuja: Eiko! You're turning red!
Eiko: suddenly turns blue Uh, no.
Kuja: Hmph. Let's just look around...
they begin searching
Eiko: spots a rocking horse Oh wow! I always wanted one of these! hops on
Kuja: Hey, stop that... I need to go to the bathroom.
Eiko: still rocking Then go.
Kuja: I don't know where it is.
Eiko: Look behind you. having the time of her life
Kuja: That's not a bathroom! That's an old closet with a corpse of some dead guy... cough He looks really familiar though... examines it closer
Corpse: Hey, freak, lay off.
Kuja: Yeah... oh, and would you happen to know where the bathroom is?
Corpse: There isn't any.
Kuja: But I really need it!!!
Corpse: And I care because?
Kuja: Ah, forget you! I'll just hold it in.
Eiko: finally stops rocking Hmm...
Kuja: What are you 'hmm'-ing about?
Eiko: Nothing... I just need to go to the bathroom too...
Corpse: Hehehe... You'll both rot in here like I did!
Eiko: Shut up, corpse. No one asked you.
Corpse: Well, fine... Oh and by the way... I just remembered where the BATHROOM is! But, too bad... No one seems to care... sniffle
Eiko: Tell!
Kuja: Tell!
Corpse: Man, you two are blind! Read the sign!
Kuja: looks around for the sign
Eiko: Where?!
Corpse: UUUUUGGGHHH! Over there!
a door pops up with a sign that says: 'Bathroom here! Free toilet paper!'
Corpse: Told you!
Eiko: Oh... thanks... I guess...
Kuja: Funny... I don't need to go anymore.
the sign changed and now reads: 'Fine. Don't want it? It was your last chance. See ya!'
Kuja: O.O
Eiko: I think we've searched this place enough... Let's go Kuja.
Kuja: Hmm... Wait... I feel like...
...
...
...
...
...
Eiko: patiently waits for Kuja to finish
...
...
...
...
Kuja: Dance.
Eiko: Oh, me too! Yay!
Kuja: Really?! Yay! I've been waiting for this moment for the longest time! smiles happily
the room turns into a ballroom and they dance for five hours
Kuja: still dancing When should we stop?
Eiko: Maybe... Now?
Kuja: Ok.
room turns all icky again
Kuja: That was fun!
Eiko: Yeah! And you know what else would be fun??? innocent look
Kuja: What?
Eiko: Come closer...
Kuja: leans closer to Eiko
Eiko: Closer...
Kuja: leans even closer
Eiko: CLOSER!
Kuja: leans yet closer so now he's bent over that his back now forms a 90 degree angle
Eiko: This! bops Kuja over the head with her flute so he falls unconscious
Kuja: unconscious
Eiko: Hey, corpse! Come over here! Let's steal his equipment!
Corpse: Goodie!
(Kuja's thoughts): That little brat! Hmph... Hey! That's my bracelet! Lay off the brace- Ugh! There goes the bracelet! Man, am I gonna teach you! When I wake up...
he wakes up
Kuja: Wow. That was fast!
Moumantai's voice: Hmm. You should thank me. I had pity on you.
Kuja: ignores Moumantai Hmm... Eiko ran away huh... I'll show her! TRANCE!
Moumantai's voice: Hey look! You're all aura-full now! I'm impressed. claps
Kuja: looks at himself Yeah... pretty cool, huh? Ack! I have to get that brat! flies off
~*~*~*~*~*~
Eiko: running towards the Snack Table with Kuja's stuff
~Back at the Snack Table~
Eiko: I'mmmmmmmmm... Back!
Zidane: sips more coffee Join the club.
Freya: Where's Kuja?
Eiko: Probably chasing me... Lookie! I stole his bracelet!
Beatrix: approaches Eiko excitedly I'll pay you 500,000 Gil for it!
Eiko: Deal! hands it over
Quina: approaches Eiko too Eiko have food? licks his/her lips
Eiko: searches her stolen goodies pile Hm... I have an expired pack of crackers.
Quina: Quina take it! pays Eiko a million Gil
Eiko: counts her money Three-hundred thousand and one... two...three...
Steiner: searches through Eiko's goodies too Wow! A limited edition Excalibur II figurine! How much do you want it for, Eiko?
Eiko: Let's see... 650,000 Gil.
Steiner: digs in his pocket Ah, here, 650,000 Gil.
Eiko: Thank you for your patronage.
Freya: Ooooohhhh... I want this spear sharpener! How much?
Eiko: 10 Gil.
Freya: searches her pockets sigh I'm broke.
Eiko: Okay... Since you're such a good friend, I'll slash off a large 99.99%!
Freya: I'm still broke.
Eiko: Well, hmph! Move it then!
Freya: Meanie...
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kuja: making his way through the many hallways, still in Trance mode I'll find you, my pretty! You just wait and see! witchy laugh
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Whew! That was long! huff huff Please review! ^_^
SEARCH RECAP:
Playroom: searched
Remaining room(s):
Basement
