Disclaimer: laughs Yeah... I don't  own FFIX... Or maybe I do...?

A/N: Ah, yes. I forgot to mention that this fic was actually based on Clue. Oh well. On with the story...

Chapter Four: Merchant Eiko

~*~*~*~*~*~

~The Playroom~ (this is what you were waiting for...)

Eiko: silently opens the old, wooden door and peeks inside

Kuja: folds his arms Are we going in or what?

Eiko: Maybe you wanna go in first?

Kuja: Whatever. Move aside. pushes her aside and storms in

Eiko: tiptoes behind Kuja

Kuja: Hurry up and stop being such a scaredy cat.

the door shuts closed

Eiko: What was that???

Kuja: Probably just the wind...

Eiko: How could it be wind if all the doors and windows in this place are closed???

Kuja: Then... Maybe it's a...

Eiko: I-it's a what...?

Kuja: ten minutes later

Eiko: Hello?! What?!

Kuja: ...a ghost...

Eiko: horrified look on her face Oh... my... gosh...

Kuja: laughs You actually BELIEVED me?! Gullible oaf! There're NO such things as GHOSTS! falls over

Eiko: Then what's that? points at a corner

Kuja: stops laughing takes out a flashlight A ghost.

Eiko: But I thought there were no such things!

Kuja: Well I fooled you again! Stupid...

Eiko: face turns red

Kuja: Eiko! You're turning red!

Eiko: suddenly turns blue Uh, no.

Kuja: Hmph. Let's just look around...

they begin searching

Eiko: spots a rocking horse Oh wow! I always wanted one of these! hops on

Kuja: Hey, stop that... I need to go to the bathroom.

Eiko: still rocking Then go.

Kuja: I don't know where it is.

Eiko: Look behind you. having the time of her life

Kuja: That's not a bathroom! That's an old closet with a corpse of some dead guy... cough He looks really familiar though... examines it closer

Corpse: Hey, freak, lay off.

Kuja: Yeah... oh, and would you happen to know where the bathroom is? 

Corpse: There isn't any.

Kuja: But I really need it!!!

Corpse: And I care because?

Kuja: Ah, forget you! I'll just hold it in.

Eiko: finally stops rocking Hmm...

Kuja: What are you 'hmm'-ing about?

Eiko: Nothing... I just need to go to the bathroom too...

Corpse: Hehehe... You'll both rot in here like I did!

Eiko: Shut up, corpse. No one asked you.

Corpse: Well, fine... Oh and by the way... I just remembered where the BATHROOM is! But, too bad... No one seems to care... sniffle

Eiko: Tell!

Kuja: Tell!

Corpse: Man, you two are blind! Read the sign!

Kuja: looks around for the sign

Eiko: Where?!

Corpse: UUUUUGGGHHH! Over there!

a door pops up with a sign that says: 'Bathroom here! Free toilet paper!'

Corpse: Told you!

Eiko: Oh... thanks... I guess...

Kuja: Funny... I don't need to go anymore.

the sign changed and now reads: 'Fine. Don't want it? It was your last chance. See ya!'

Kuja: O.O

Eiko: I think we've searched this place enough... Let's go Kuja.

Kuja: Hmm... Wait... I feel like...

...

...

...

...

...

Eiko: patiently waits for Kuja to finish

...

...

...

...

Kuja: Dance.

Eiko: Oh, me too! Yay!

Kuja: Really?! Yay! I've been waiting for this moment for the  longest time! smiles happily

the room turns into a ballroom and they dance for five hours

Kuja: still dancing When  should we stop?

Eiko: Maybe... Now?

Kuja: Ok.

room turns all icky again

Kuja: That was fun!

Eiko: Yeah! And you know what else would be fun??? innocent look

Kuja: What?

Eiko: Come closer...

Kuja: leans closer to Eiko

Eiko: Closer...

Kuja: leans even closer

Eiko: CLOSER!

Kuja: leans yet closer so now he's bent over that his back now forms a 90 degree angle

Eiko: This! bops Kuja over the head with her flute so he falls unconscious

Kuja: unconscious

Eiko: Hey, corpse! Come over here! Let's steal his equipment!

Corpse: Goodie!

(Kuja's thoughts): That little brat! Hmph... Hey! That's my bracelet! Lay off the brace- Ugh! There goes the bracelet! Man, am I gonna teach you! When I wake up...

he wakes up

Kuja: Wow. That was fast!

Moumantai's voice: Hmm. You should thank me. I had pity on you.

Kuja: ignores Moumantai Hmm... Eiko ran away huh... I'll show her! TRANCE!

Moumantai's voice: Hey look! You're all aura-full now! I'm impressed. claps

Kuja: looks at himself Yeah... pretty cool, huh? Ack! I have to get that brat! flies off

~*~*~*~*~*~

Eiko: running towards the Snack Table with Kuja's stuff

~Back at the Snack Table~

Eiko: I'mmmmmmmmm... Back!

Zidane: sips more coffee Join the club.

Freya: Where's Kuja?

Eiko: Probably chasing me... Lookie! I stole his bracelet!

Beatrix: approaches Eiko excitedly I'll pay you 500,000 Gil for it!

Eiko: Deal! hands it over

Quina: approaches Eiko too Eiko have food? licks his/her lips

Eiko: searches her stolen goodies pile Hm... I have an expired pack of crackers.

Quina: Quina take it! pays Eiko a million Gil

Eiko: counts her money Three-hundred thousand and one... two...three...

Steiner: searches through Eiko's goodies too Wow! A limited edition Excalibur II figurine! How much do you want it for, Eiko?

Eiko: Let's see... 650,000 Gil.

Steiner: digs in his pocket Ah, here, 650,000 Gil.

Eiko: Thank you for your patronage.

Freya: Ooooohhhh... I want this spear sharpener! How much?

Eiko: 10 Gil.

Freya: searches her pockets sigh I'm broke.

Eiko: Okay... Since you're such a good friend, I'll slash off a large 99.99%!

Freya: I'm still broke.

Eiko: Well, hmph! Move it then!

Freya: Meanie...

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kuja: making his way through the many hallways, still in Trance mode I'll find you, my pretty! You just wait and see! witchy laugh

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Whew! That was long! huff huff Please review! ^_^

SEARCH RECAP:

Playroom: searched

Remaining room(s):

Basement