[u]Part 50[/u]
[b] The Citadel, Illyria - Eight Months Later[/b]
"Are they almost done?" Maria asked, poking her head around Ren's shoulder as she came up behind him so that she could see what was going on below. Michael, Max, Isabel and Tess were still gathered around the centre of the room, where Maria had left them a few hours ago, but they didn't seem to be doing much of anything.
Seeing was not believing in this case though. Maria noticed the slight spasm that ran through Michael's body, realized that her friends were still intimately connected to the process, even if they weren't controlling the healing of the Dernian lying on the table. Glancing at the faces of the second four square positioned in front of those Maria knew well, she recognized Sarra, a recent addition to Jennetta's entourage and the court.
Well, that explained why the Royal Four were so concerned that everything was going right and why it was taking so long. Sarra was the warrior of her four square - the most recent grouping added to the list Max and the others had deemed powerful enough to help heal the Dernians - and, in spite of her obvious talent, she still had Michael's former unfortunate tendency of blowing things up when she wasn't concentrating.
The new four square below was also the first fully functioning collective of healer, mindwarper, warrior and dreamwalker that included mixed members. Sarra was a healed Dernian, Stanley a changed human and Reston and Rilla Illyrians. They represented everything Maria and her friends had spent the last months trying to build. Successful union of this group would mean so much. Which would explain why the Royal Four presently looked so stressed. Because that would only be if Sarra didn't accidentally blow their patient up of course. Which made Maria wonder why they were trying this today. Hadn't Jennetta told her only that morning that Sarra wasn't ready?
Grimacing, Maria grabbed one of Ren's arms. "Oh, this can't be good. How long have they been connected?"
"Only a couple of minutes," Ren replied, his voice low. "Jennetta insisted. She wanted Max to make sure that everything was proceeding properly. She won't sacrifice the patient to make a political statement. The Royal Four are only very lightly linked, monitoring the situation."
Maria sighed with relief. "Well, that's okay then." She looked over at her daughter, who was standing at the head of the healing table, a slight frown on her pretty face as she watched. Maria felt a pang. It was taking some getting used to, that expression. It was one Jenny wore entirely too frequently these days. Maria knew how much Jennetta cared about her people, but it was almost [i]too[/i] much. It was beginning to wear on her. She was tiring herself out by insisting on playing a role in every part of the new government.
Glancing at the expressionless shapeshifter beside her, Maria felt a pang of irritation with him. While she knew that he was helping Jennetta surreptitiously from the shadows, he was still resisting any sort of relationship with Maria's daughter. It was completely clear at this point that it wasn't because he didn't want one either. The way he tensed under her hand as the group below finished up and Jennetta went to speak to Reston, the tall handsome Illyiran more than told her so.
Yes, Ren certainly cared about Jenny. But he was also still stubbornly insisting that he was unworthy of her. His guilt over his mother and father's many schemes had scarred him more than any of them had ever foreseen. He was particularly irate about Milena's role in stealing Max's throne, mainly because her only goal in that had been his ascension. Marrying Jennetta would give Milena what she wanted - Ren on the throne - and he seemed determined that this should never happen.even at the expense of his - and Jennetta's - heart.
Jennetta had been patient up to this point though, much to Maria's admiration. She had been busy after all, working with Max to ensure a smooth transition of governmental power. They had visited most of the major cities on Illyria by now, Max repeating the ceremony of abdication and Jennetta's coronation in all of them. Jaxon Falconer's complete support of the new queen, proclaimed the Chosen One of prophecy, had calmed the waters. Things were going much more quickly and much more effectively than any of them had ever dreamed.
In fact, if what Jenny had told Maria last night was true, the Earthly contingent might be able to return to their planet much sooner than any of them had ever anticipated.
Suddenly Maria knew exactly why Jenny had allowed the new four square's attempt at a healing to go forward. Healing the Dernians was the last function of which the Royal Four were in complete control. When there was a significant enough four square ready to take over.Well, then it would be time to go home.
Maria swallowed at the thought, her eyes glued to Jennetta, who was standing close to Reston, her hand on his arm. The very idea of leaving her daughter.It was heartbreaking. But Maria also knew that she and Michael truly did not belong on Illyria. For one, Michael was too closely linked to Max, Isabel and Tess through their four square to be truly happy without them nearby. If they went, then he would have to as well.
The other reason was that they both knew that they could not spend their existence living vicariously through their daughter. They had known since the very beginning that they were going to have to give her up at some point, that they were going to have to leave her to lead her own life.
They needed to live [I]their[/I] lives. Because, in the end, they were both still barely nineteen years old.
And, yet, the thought of being brave enough to move on.it was still supremely torturous. To leave her child behind.Maria really just didn't know if she could do it, in spite of her assurances to Jennetta that she would.
Particularly if she was going to be leaving her daughter all alone, thanks in large part to the stubborn shapeshifter beside her. Which was why she said it. She regretted it immediately and, yet, didn't. What was going on below had reinforced to her that she was running out of time to interfere. She was Jennetta's mother. It was her [I]job[/I] to interfere. Michael wouldn't agree and had told her so many times over the past months. But Michael was wrong. He was [I]always[/I] wrong. And, while she couldn't presently think of an instance where he [I]had[/I] been wrong recently, she knew he was.
It was now or never. "They make a cute couple, don't they?"
Ren turned his head and stared down at her. "Who?"
"Jennetta and Reston," Maria replied, wanting to take the words back immediately. Ren might not still be completely comfortable with his emotions, but the expression on his face.Well, she hadn't meant to slaughter him, just wake him up.
She wrinkled her nose. Damn. He wasn't supposed to look like that. He was proving Michael right darn him!
Ren was looking down at the pair again. They had moved to stand near Michael and Sarra, who were speaking quietly, Michael using his hands to accentuate what he was telling the apprentice warrior. Maria felt a flash of pride, in spite of her present annoyance at her fiancé that he had been right. Four years ago she never in a million years would have even guessed that Michael would turn out to be such a patient and competent teacher. He insisted on training all the healing four squares personally. He had told Maria once that it was because he understood better than anyone how completely stupid one could feel with great power at one's disposal and no comprehension of how to use it properly.
"Jennetta is kind to everyone," Ren was saying, pulling Maria out of her reflection. "It doesn't mean anything." Maria could hear the uncertainty in his voice though.
Maria sighed. "But what if it did Ren? What then?"
"I don't understand you."
She rolled her eyes. "You understand me all right. You think you're only hurting yourself by staying away from her. First of all, it's not true, but you know what the really hard thing is going to be? Someday, it will be. She's going to have to move on if you can't give her what she needs. And the question is, will you survive that?"
"What I want is unimportant," Ren snapped. "She is the queen. She will marry where she wills."
"I beg to differ," Maria flared back. "She [I]wills[/I] to marry you. It's your stubbornness that is making her miserable. She [I]needs[/I] you."
He didn't reply, merely closed his eyes, a spasm of pain running across his face.
Maria squeezed his arm. "Why are you torturing yourself like this? You know you need her too," she said quietly. "It is so stupid Ren. What will it take to make you see that you can't run from her forever?"
There was a long pause. When he finally spoke, it was barely a whisper. In fact, Maria wasn't even sure if she'd heard him correctly. "I don't know."
But he had said it. Maria pressed her lips together, determination coursing through her veins. If Ren didn't know, then Maria would find out for him. And she knew just where to start.
***
"That was excellent," Isabel said, taking Rilla by the hand and squeezing. "You helped Sarra through it. It's exactly what the matched pair of a four square is supposed to do. Good work."
Rilla smiled shyly. "She was open to it. It wasn't difficult at all." The young dreamwalker's voice reflected her amazement.
"You sound surprised," Isabel replied.
"I." Rilla swallowed, then continued, "I must admit that I was unsure. She is.well, she is Dernian."
Isabel nodded. "She is. But she's also part of you now. The four of you are a bonded unit. That means something Rilla. Believe me. From now on, she will always be one of you first and Dernian second."
Isabel knew that what she was saying weren't merely words. She had [I]felt[/I] it through the connection she had maintained with the newer four square. This was really going to work. They were really healing the wounds that had paralyzed their planet for generations. And all it had taken was making both sides open their eyes to each other.
It had been sheer brilliance on Jemma's part to insist on bringing the changed humans through the portal with them. Their ease with each other and their pure connections through their four squares had easily defused the guilds, which had always been opposed to seeing their particular members join too intimately with groups bearing other gifts. It had been a belief that doing so would dilute the gifts, but the Royal Four and the changed humans had shown that the bonds the four squares created actually strengthened their powers. It had been a revelation and was changing the way that the guilds interacted, which was only emphasizing the new rapprochement between Illyria and Dernia.
Isabel knew that a lot of the changed humans planned to stay on Illyria once the Royal Four left. Some of them had never felt like they truly belonged on Earth after their rebirths anyway. They were looking forward to rebuilding their lives in the newly emerging order of Jennetta's rule.
She didn't really understand it, this desire some of the humans felt to leave Earth behind. She could feel pure joy running through her even now as she thought of home. She had tried hard not to think of it over the past months, knew that it would only make it seem longer, but with every step they took forward like this, they came that much closer to being able to return. She would finally be allowed to go home to her real mother and father. She would be going home with Alex so that they could start their lives together - so that they could go [I]back[/I] and really be kids again.
"Shall we join the others?" Isabel asked Rilla now. She could see that Jennetta was helping the newly healed Dernian to his feet, Max's counterpart Reston at the shapeshifter's other elbow. He looked disoriented as they always did after the abrupt return of their emotions. Over the months they had discovered that it usually took several weeks for a healed Dernian to adjust, but that they soon started behaving as though they had never lost their ability to feel.
Ren, in his stubbornness, was of course the exception, Isabel reflected, catching sight of her brother on the balcony above them. Before she could call to him, he had disappeared though, like the shadow he had become lately. She shook her head, forced herself to forget about her concern for him at the moment. She had other things to worry about.
It was wonderful to watch their people regain something they didn't even know they had lost. And, yet, Isabel still wanted to go home. Because, while Illyria would always hold a piece of her heart - just like Michael and Tristandor would, those memories her mother had brought to the forefront still existing - she did not belong here. As the time drew closer for them to leave for good, the more certain she was.
And, yet, there was still one more piece of business that needed to be taken care of. She and Max had agreed that it would be today. They had been distracted by the new four square's desire to try healing and Jennetta's request that they support them, but she knew that they still meant to get it over with. As she came up beside her brother, Max turned his head and raised his eyebrows questioningly. She nodded.
"If we're done here Jennetta," Max said, "Izzy and I have somewhere we need to be."
"Of course," Jennetta answered, looking up. She was in the process of signing a paper that an aide had just thrust before her. Michael was standing beside her, an annoyed expression on his face. Isabel knew that he wanted to speak to the young queen about exactly why she had been so eager to have the mixed four square try this so soon - perhaps [I]too[/I] soon. He had gone along, but Isabel had felt through their recent connection how unhappy he was about it.
It [I]had[/I] been slightly reckless, Isabel allowed silently to herself. And, yet, Jennetta had been right. The new four square had been ready. It had only emphasized again how competent Jenny was, how ready to rule by herself.
"I'd like to see you both in my chambers in a couple of hours if that's all right?" Jennetta called after them.
"Okay," Max replied. "We'll be there."
Isabel followed her brother out of the great chamber and into the hallway that led deeper into the fortress. They didn't bother to speak. She could feel Max's tension easily, was glad that she wasn't the only one not looking forward to laying eyes on their mother again. It had to be done though, if only to close the book on that chapter of her life. She didn't need the woman, but she certainly needed to assure that she wasn't going to mess with Isabel's head again.
It had been something of a shock when Milena had turned herself in the week before. Neither sibling had been ready to deal with her then, mainly because it had come out of nowhere. In fact, Max had been on the other side of the planet with Jennetta, Liz, Maria and Michael, performing one of the last ceremonies of abdication, while Isabel had been in the next city over with Alex, Tess and Kyle forming four squares with the blessing of the guilds.
The queen mother had been in hiding since her return through the Ring on the day Nasedo had finally been vanquished. One of Max's last actions as king had been to send out a contingent of the Royal Guard to track her down. There had been no sign of her anywhere though, not after she had initially been sighted coming through the Ring. She had disappeared almost immediately, quite obviously not alone. It could have been nothing less than a mindwarp at work, which had surprised none of them. Jendar's body had been missing from where they had originally found it outside the Ring, clearly not quite as dead as they had all thought. The mindwarp really was the most irritating of gifts when it wasn't on your side, Isabel reflected ruefully now.
Milena's emergence seemed to indicate that she had been waiting to see how Jennetta's ascension to the throne played out before allowing herself to be found. It had been Jenny's idea to start circulating the rumour in the countryside that the new queen planned to marry Ren, the former king's brother, even though it wasn't yet entirely true. None of them had been aware she had done it until Milena showed up. It being the one thing Milena had wanted above all others - her son by Nasedo on the throne - Jenny had been right in her suspicion that was what would finally bring their mother out.
They had all finally arrived back at the Citadel only the night before. Max and Isabel had agreed that they would wait until today to face the woman who had given them life twice, but had also felt it was her right to control their destinies because of it.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this Iz?" Max asked as they reached the bottom of the staircase that led to the dungeons. "I can talk to her alone you know."
Isabel rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous Max. I need to finish this with her just as much as you do. You were right when you said yesterday that we can't make Ren talk to her. It'll be too hard on him."
Isabel knew for certain that this was true. As the only one of her children at the Citadel when Milena had arrived, it had been Ren that had been forced to deal with her. He had been particularly non-communicative since. Isabel had developed a fairly keen ability to read her half-brother since his emotions had been returned, mainly because she had bullied him into developing a relationship with her, much to Max's amusement. They shared a mother and he deserved a family beyond his horrible parents. Ren had seemed nonplused at first but had recently started to open up to Isabel. His abrupt shut-down had told her better than anything that he was definitely upset. Isabel had no idea what their mother had said to him, although she suspected that it was something about marrying Jenny because he had quite clearly been avoiding Jennetta since her return to the fortress.
Not that he hadn't been lurking, as his appearance on the balcony moments ago indicated. She hoped that Jennetta hadn't hurt her own cause with Ren by using him to bring Milena out of hiding. He had been slowly adjusting to his new role as a member of the royal family, even though he continued to deny himself any position because of it. Isabel was pretty sure he had been on the verge of caving, of admitting that he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him, but Milena's sudden reappearance might have put a damper on the whole thing.
"Okay then," Max replied, sighing. "We go in, tell her what we want, then leave. She'll try and play us if we let her Isabel. She's done it all along."
"I still feel sorry for her Max," Isabel admitted as they paused outside the cell door. The guard standing there had his hand up to let them in, but Isabel waved him away without thinking about it. She didn't even realize she'd done it until Max raised his eyebrows, amused. She felt a flash of embarrassment. She knew she had allowed herself to become slightly imperious again since they had been there, but it was hard not to with all the bowing and scraping that went on. Even if Max was no longer king, in the eyes of the Illyrians, they would both always be royal. Yet another reason she couldn't wait to get home. She needed a serious reality check. Thank God she had her brother and Alex and the others to keep her in line. Illyria was not her reality - not for much longer.
She glared at Max, even though she knew she deserved that look. "Well, don't you?" She demanded.
"No," Max answered firmly. "She chose her path. Now she has to pay the price."
"But Max, without her, you never would have found Liz," Isabel argued.
"Not true," Max returned. "Liz and I would have found each other eventually. I won't let her take credit for it. She doesn't deserve it. She tortured you Isabel and now she's torturing Ren."
"Ren is torturing himself," Isabel sighed. "We really need to do something about that Max."
"Which is why I'm here."
Isabel and Max both turned their heads and stared at Maria, who had obviously just followed them down the stairs.
"Stop looking so shocked," Maria ordered. "This woman has done just about enough to screw with people I care about. Her very existence is keeping my daughter from having what she wants and needs and it's going to stop. Today."
"Maria."
"Don't Maria me. I'm going to make her do what needs to be done."
Isabel looked at Max, who shrugged. "If you think you can make her give up her gift, then more power to you," he said. "I just want her under control once and for all. We can't leave here until she is."
"Okay then." Maria crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. "I'll give you guys a few minutes alone with her. I know you need that. And then I'm coming in."
Isabel almost felt sorry for her mother. Almost.
She reached up and placed her hand firmly against the handprint that activated the cell door. It slid silently into the wall. She stepped back and allowed Max to go first. Maria grabbed her hand quickly and squeezed. "Be careful," her friend whispered.
Isabel smiled, then entered the cell.
Milena was seated on a stool near the small table under the single window in the room. Her face was expressionless as she took in her two children. "So, you've come at last," she finally said, her voice weak and cracking slightly. She seemed more broken than Isabel had expected considering she was the one who had allowed herself to be captured. "I wasn't sure you would see me."
"I can safely say that if I trusted you alone with Isabel, I wouldn't have," Max informed her, sounding angrier than Isabel had heard him in a long time. As much as he was trying to pretend that his mother's betrayal in his last lifetime didn't matter to him, Isabel knew that it really did. He would never admit it, but there could be no doubt if simply being in her presence made him so mad.
"I know I deserve that," Milena sighed. "But you are happy my Jaxon. I know you are. You have everything I ever wanted for you. You have the life that is right for you."
"It wasn't your decision to decide what was right," Max snapped. "You are not allowed to take credit for my life. Everything you have done in [I]your[/I] life more than shows that you don't care about either of us. It's yourself you love."
"That is [I]not[/I] true," Milena argued, getting to her feet and reaching out her hands pleadingly. "You must believe that I only had your best interests at heart. I held the throne for you."
Max snorted. "I'm sure you really believe that too, which is the saddest part of this whole thing."
Isabel frowned, placed her hand gently on Max's shoulder. He was shaking slightly, obviously trying to control his rage. He was going to be really annoyed at himself later that he had allowed Milena to upset him so quickly. This woman had sorely tested her brother's even temper. "Mother, you yourself admitted that you want the throne for Ren," she said quietly, deciding to take over the conversation. "You held this planet under interdict so that Max could abdicate on Ren's behalf. We know that is the truth."
Isabel watched her birth mother's eyes brighten slightly. "I saw him - yesterday. He has grown into a handsome man."
"We know," Isabel replied. "But you should have known that. It was he who brought Jennetta to you after all."
"I never saw him then," Milena said quietly. "I have not seen him since he was a babe in arms. He was weaned and podded and Laren took him away from me after that. I did not know who he was when he brought Jennetta to me. My husband dealt with all of that. It was only after he was sent through the portal after her that I realized who he was. But it was too late. Hamor had already ordered him to protect the child. He was gone before I ever saw him. I went to confront Laren after that, which was why I was here when Liz was brought to Illyria." She raised her chin. "My son did not know who he was, quite clearly. Laren made sure of that and, yet, the prophecy that the chosen one would journey to Earth through the portal was fulfilled anyway. He is destined to rule. Laren refused to accept this, but I knew what it meant."
"But that could have just as easily meant Max [I]or[/I] Jenny," Isabel reminded her. "They both went through the portal then too."
Milena shook her head. "Jaxon is destined to be with his Liz. He always was, was born into the wrong time and place. Jennetta cannot be the Chosen One. She is not Illyrian. But if you cannot see that, it is fine. She will still be queen when she marries my son."
"[I]We[/I] choose her," Max told her flatly, obviously now in control of his temper again. "And so she is the one meant to rule. I don't believe in any of this destiny garbage anyway. She is queen in her own right and you won't interfere with that."
Milena smiled slightly. "Oh my dear son. You argue so fervently against it but you are living your destiny. Will you ever stop being so stubborn?"
"Mother, you tried to have us killed," Isabel interrupted. Max was beginning to look steamed again. It was really amazing how this woman knew exactly which buttons to push to irritate him.
"I did not Mirana, I swear it," Milena said firmly. "Laren lied about that. Neither you, nor Tristandor were meant to die that day. Neither was Jaxon actually. Laren told me that he had found a way to get Jaxon to Earth. Since I knew it was all my son really wanted anyway, I allowed him to proceed with his plan. When you died." She trailed off, swallowed. Isabel wondered how this woman could really seem to care about them and, yet, she did not understand what it meant to love unconditionally. She had worked out in her head what she thought was meant to be and couldn't let it go, no matter what they said to her. "Which was why I had to make sure that you and your Tris found your way back to each other," she finished quietly.
"But it did happen. And the fact that you actually believed that I would have been happy without my brother.That I ever could have accepted what you allowed to happen to him.The consequence of what you did to me is that I remember exactly who I was then and there is no way I ever would have forgiven you." Isabel raised her chin. "I'm glad I died. This is the life I want. I love Earth and I love my parents there. My mom wants me to be whomever I want to be. You can't say the same, can you? You want me to be who you remember and I'm not her anymore. Your schemes made sure of that."
Milena closed her eyes, sighing. "I regret it my child. I hope you believe that."
"It doesn't really matter," Isabel replied. And she realized it was true. It didn't. Whatever had come before was over now. If she wanted to, Milena could believe that she had orchestrated it all. They would leave her behind and live the lives they wanted. How they had gotten there was no longer important. It only mattered that they had arrived.
There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Milena seemed to compose herself. When she opened her eyes, she was staring right at Isabel. "I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day my daughter."
"I don't need to forgive you Mother. It's over," Isabel replied. "But if you need to hear it, then know that I do. Because it really doesn't matter to me anymore."
"It's not that simple Iz," Max reminded her. "We can't trust her."
"Is there nothing I can do or say to change your minds?" Milena asked. "I will do anything. I simply want to be allowed to live out my last days in peace and spend time with my children."
"You won't see us again," Isabel told her. "We don't belong here. And Ren won't see you either. Everything that you've done.He blames himself. He won't marry Jennetta because it's what [I]you[/I] want."
"What?" Milena sounded horrified. "Why would he do such a thing?"
"Because he's not like you Mother. He actually understands that sometimes the ends do not justify the means."
"So much for destiny," Max muttered, quite obviously disgusted. "You've meddled him right off the throne."
"Is there nothing that can be done to change his mind?" Milena asked desperately. "This makes no sense. Why would he want to give up what is meant to be?"
"He's punishing you." This came from Maria, who was standing in the doorway of the cell, an annoyed look on her face. Their friend had obviously been unable to wait any longer to blast this woman. Isabel smiled slightly, wondered if Maria had been eavesdropping the whole time. It was highly likely. "But you're going to convince him that you've been punished enough," Maria continued. "Because I, for one, will not stand around and watch him continue to punish my daughter and himself for your actions."
Milena stared at Maria, a perplexed expression on her face. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to willingly give up your gift so that Isabel can live without looking over her shoulder," Maria told her. "If you can show Ren that you are truly sorry for what you've done, maybe he'll get over himself."
"He won't believe it," Isabel said, shaking her head. "He has trouble controlling his emotions, even now. The guilt factor.I don't think anything is going to be able to take it away."
"If she becomes insignificant, if she knows that he can't mess with any of you anymore by her own choice, then maybe he'll be able to move on," Maria argued.
"Maybe." Isabel wrinkled her nose. "But I doubt it."
"I'll do it," Milena said. "I will do anything to make you all see that I have changed. I do not need my gift any longer. Everything has ended as it was meant to."
Isabel looked at Max. She could feel her brother's satisfaction running through her own veins and his next comment reflected it. "I won't say no to that. It's what we want. Iz, you may trust her, but I don't and I won't leave here until I know she can't ever hurt you again. She's going to lose you and I'm not at all convinced by this change of heart. She'll try and bring you back. I know she will."
"I just don't see how it will make Ren change his mind," Isabel told him.
"[I]Something[/I] has to," Maria sighed. "It's worth a try."
Isabel felt a pang of sympathy run through her as she looked at her mother. She couldn't help it. The woman was so intent on making amends, she was going to willingly give up a part of her that made her who she was. Isabel knew how empty she would feel if she lost her gift. Maybe Milena really [I]had[/I] changed.
"Mirana." Isabel raised her head, met her mother's eyes. "It is all right my child. I choose this. Maria is right. It may do some good. It may also bring you back to me completely some day..maybe Ren as well. It is worth it to me. I will do anything to regain your trust."
Isabel glanced at Max. His expression was implacable, unbending. He didn't feel at all bad about this. It worried her. But if it was what Milena wanted. "Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "Let's go to the Ring and get it over with."
***
"I want to know what's going on with you. That was a very big risk we just took down there. There was no way of knowing that Sarra was ready to handle a healing."
Jennetta sighed. She threw herself down onto the Earth-style couch she had ordered built for her private office before looking at Michael, who was standing in the doorway, his arms folded sternly. "I knew she could do it Michael."
"You're taking too many chances Jenny. You have to stop it. We'll leave when we're done our work here. Speeding things up to get us off Illyria is dangerous."
"Slowing things down just so you don't have to go back is ridiculous," Jennetta flared back. "I know what you're doing Michael. You're trying to convince yourself I still need you so that you don't have to leave."
Michael narrowed his eyes. "Are you telling me you [I]don't[/I] need us?"
"No," Jenny replied. "You know I do. But I also don't need you to tell me what to do. I'm not a kid and I have to do this on my own. I have to make these calls. Sarra told me she was ready and I chose to trust her. Was I or was I not right?"
"You were," Michael allowed gruffly. "I just want to know that you didn't let her go ahead to convince me that we can leave."
"You know I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just don't want you to have to stay any longer than necessary. The longer you're gone from Earth, the harder it will be to get your lives back. I mean, you've all been gone for almost a year! Do you really think that you can just melt back into Roswell after all this time?"
"Who cares?" Michael demanded. "We'll adjust. Besides, we won't be there long. Most of them are going off to college anyway."
Jennetta blinked at the absurdity of that fact. "That's just really weird, isn't it?"
Michael snorted. "I'll say." He came and flopped down beside her, lacing his hands behind his head and staring up at the high ceiling. "Our lives are weird Jenny. We either accept it or we lose our minds. It's as simple as that."
Jennetta giggled. "Normal's boring though. Don't you think?"
"I think," he agreed. He turned his head so that he was looking at her. "But I don't want you doing anything to jeopardize this planet just to get us off it sooner. We'll go home eventually. And I can't say that I mind spending time here with you."
"But you don't belong here Michael," Jennetta reminded him quietly. "I know you know that, but I also know you feel guilty about it. I just want you to stop. We can't help who we are or how I grew up. It's done, we have to accept it."
"It's not that easy," Michael retorted. "You're my kid. It's my job to protect you." He scowled. "I was willing to allow that maybe it wouldn't always be my job, but that was before I knew what a stubborn ass Ren was going to be. I'm not leaving you here alone Jennetta. If he doesn't shape up, we're not going anywhere."
Jennetta smiled, although a pang of sadness ran through her at the thought of Ren. She hated to see him torturing himself the way he was, but she had noticed him bending recently. She was not the only one who had become aware of Reston's interest in her. She had seen Ren watching them together and while she had absolutely no interest in the healer, she was pretty sure Ren wasn't aware of that. She hadn't really done anything to reassure him either. Let him wonder. She might be patient, but she couldn't help her slight anger either. His stubbornness was about to drive her insane.
She really wasn't worried though. She knew that they were meant to be together. She would wait forever if she had to. She also knew that Michael was serious though. He wouldn't leave Illyria until he knew she was really settled. It was why she had sent Reston to find Ren. She needed to talk to him, needed to make him see that he wasn't just hurting himself any longer. He was hurting everyone.
She had wanted to talk to Ren since the evening before anyway, when he had seen Milena, but he had been avoiding her. Of course, he always avoided her, but this seemed more deliberate than usual.
Now really wasn't the time to be thinking about this though. She still had her father to deal with. "Michael, you have to stop worrying about Ren. He'll come around. I know he will."
Michael sat up. "How? How do you know?"
"If he didn't love me, he wouldn't be hurting so much over what his mother and father did," Jennetta replied.
"If he loved you, he wouldn't be hurting you by staying way," Michael snapped.
"You're right."
Jennetta started, turned to the door to see Ren standing there, his usual blank expression on his face. It amazed her that, in spite of his emotions, he still managed to remain completely unreadable most of the time. It didn't mean that she didn't understand him though. Because he couldn't control his emotions, he hid them. And he hid them because he was in pain. No one hid joy.
"I'm right about what?" Michael demanded, getting to his feet. "That you don't love her?"
Ren didn't answer. He just looked at Jennetta. "I've been told you want to see me. I'm glad. I wanted to speak to you too. Alone," he added meaningfully when Michael didn't appear to be any rush to leave.
"If you think I'm going anywhere, you're nuts," Michael said.
"Michael." Jennetta glared at him. "Go away."
"Oh for." He scowled. "Fine. But I'll be back. Soon." He practically stomped out. Jennetta grinned in spite of herself. It was peculiar having to deal with a teen-age father and his volatile emotions. Their lives were indeed weird.
After he left, a long silence fell over the room. Jennetta shifted, not uncomfortable, just a little nervous. Her heart was pounding steadily with awareness, as it always did when Ren was near. She could feel his eyes on her, as comforting as they always were and, yet, there was something different this time. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.
"Why did you want to see me?" Ren finally asked. He had moved across the room and was perched on the couch beside her.
Jennetta looked at him. "I wanted to make sure you were all right," she admitted. "I know you saw Milena. It must have been hard for you."
Ren looked away, frowning slightly. "It was surprisingly easy. When I met her." He shrugged. "I felt how much she truly did love me. It was not what I expected."
"What do you mean?"
He didn't answer right away. He was still staring off into the distance, a puzzled expression on his face. Finally he said, "I was just surprised. I did not expect that she truly felt that way about me. I know my father did not. It was a revelation."
"That you are loveable?" Jennetta flared, annoyed in spite of herself. "[I]I[/I] love you, you jerk. Isabel loves you. Maria does too. You should know that by now."
Ren stared at her, seemed mildly amused. "That's not what I meant my queen."
"Jennetta," she snapped automatically. They had been having this argument for months, when he deigned to speak to her that was. He still refused to call her by her name though.
"Jennetta," he agreed. She blinked, then stared at him.
"What?"
"I spoke to Maria earlier," Ren said, changing the subject for some reason Jennetta didn't understand. She was still flabbergasted that he had actually used her name. "She asked what it would take to make me to see that I couldn't run from you forever."
Jennetta sighed, decided she was going to have to have a word with her mother. Why couldn't either of her parents understand that they couldn't force the situation between she and Ren? Why couldn't they see that she was fine? "I'm going to kill her," she muttered.
"No. It was good that she said it. She helped me to work something out that I've been thinking about since I met Milena yesterday anyway. I told her I didn't know, but that wasn't entirely true. I realized that all this time I needed to know that you were not better off without me."
Something in his voice made her heart start to beat more quickly. "You say that as though that's no longer true. Like you do know now."
"Meeting my mother." He trailed off, obviously searching for the words. "I realized something - something I never expected. She loves me and she thinks that because of it she can control who I am and what I am meant to be. Everything she has done shows that." He swallowed, his voice cracking slightly with barely controlled emotion. "All I have wanted to ensure since I found out who she was to me was that I not be like her, just as I never wanted to be like my father. It was only after meeting her that I realized that I have been exactly like her. That because I love you, because I felt that you were better off without me, I could make you see it too. But it was not fair. I have been trying to control you, just as she tried to control me."
Jennetta shook her head slightly, wondering if she was really hearing correctly. "Did you just say what I think you said?"
Ren frowned. "What?"
"That you love me. Did you actually just admit it?"
He blinked, then smiled almost shyly. "Well, yes. But you knew it my queen." He paused, then said in a voice so gentle, it was almost a caress. "You knew my Jenny." He reached out, took her hands in his. "I can no longer deny you - deny myself - simply because this will fulfill what she thinks is my destiny. She's just right. You [I]are[/I] my destiny. I do love you and if you still want me, then I want to marry you."
Jennetta felt tears filling her eyes. "If I still want you? Of [I]course[/I] I want you. I could never want anyone else." She threw her arms around his neck.
They sat there for several moments, just enjoying the feel of each other's bodies. Ren finally pulled back, smoothing her hair away from her face. "You must understand something though Jennetta. I won't be king."
She stared at him. "What? Why not?"
"I will support you in every way and I will love you, but I will not rule. I must insist on that. [I]You[/I] are the chosen one. You are [I]my[/I] chosen one. You always have been, whether I understood it or not. They say that the cleansed become focused on one thing. You were always my focus, my obsession, and my love. From the very first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you belonged to me. I just didn't understand what it meant."
"But I want you to be king," Jennetta argued.
"You want it because you love me," Ren replied. "But I really don't want to be. I just want you."
Jennetta felt her heart contract again. "Well, when you put it that way." She smiled. "All I want is you too. I don't care if you're king. You will be in every way that matters anyway. To me, you will be."
His eyes darkened. She knew what was coming next. Her entire body did. She could feel the blood singing in her veins in anticipation.
The kiss, when it came, was so sweet and full of promise, she could no longer stop the tears that had been lingering on her lashes since he had first admitted that he loved her.
They were so wrapped up in each other, Jennetta wasn't aware that they were no longer alone until she heard someone clear their throat.
She turned her head, still slightly dazed from the intensity of Ren's kisses, and met Max's amused gaze. "Well, I can see that our interference wasn't required after all."
Jennetta blinked. "Pardon me?"
"Never mind," Max replied. He turned, pushing Isabel and Maria out of the room. They had obviously come in behind him and were both still standing with their mouths hanging open. "We'll just leave you two alone. We'll be back later."
"What was that all about?" Jennetta wondered aloud.
"Does it really matter?" Ren asked, kissing her temple.
She turned back to him, grinning. "Actually, not a bit. If they want to leave us alone, who am I to say no?"
And, with that, she kissed him again.
To be continued.
[b] The Citadel, Illyria - Eight Months Later[/b]
"Are they almost done?" Maria asked, poking her head around Ren's shoulder as she came up behind him so that she could see what was going on below. Michael, Max, Isabel and Tess were still gathered around the centre of the room, where Maria had left them a few hours ago, but they didn't seem to be doing much of anything.
Seeing was not believing in this case though. Maria noticed the slight spasm that ran through Michael's body, realized that her friends were still intimately connected to the process, even if they weren't controlling the healing of the Dernian lying on the table. Glancing at the faces of the second four square positioned in front of those Maria knew well, she recognized Sarra, a recent addition to Jennetta's entourage and the court.
Well, that explained why the Royal Four were so concerned that everything was going right and why it was taking so long. Sarra was the warrior of her four square - the most recent grouping added to the list Max and the others had deemed powerful enough to help heal the Dernians - and, in spite of her obvious talent, she still had Michael's former unfortunate tendency of blowing things up when she wasn't concentrating.
The new four square below was also the first fully functioning collective of healer, mindwarper, warrior and dreamwalker that included mixed members. Sarra was a healed Dernian, Stanley a changed human and Reston and Rilla Illyrians. They represented everything Maria and her friends had spent the last months trying to build. Successful union of this group would mean so much. Which would explain why the Royal Four presently looked so stressed. Because that would only be if Sarra didn't accidentally blow their patient up of course. Which made Maria wonder why they were trying this today. Hadn't Jennetta told her only that morning that Sarra wasn't ready?
Grimacing, Maria grabbed one of Ren's arms. "Oh, this can't be good. How long have they been connected?"
"Only a couple of minutes," Ren replied, his voice low. "Jennetta insisted. She wanted Max to make sure that everything was proceeding properly. She won't sacrifice the patient to make a political statement. The Royal Four are only very lightly linked, monitoring the situation."
Maria sighed with relief. "Well, that's okay then." She looked over at her daughter, who was standing at the head of the healing table, a slight frown on her pretty face as she watched. Maria felt a pang. It was taking some getting used to, that expression. It was one Jenny wore entirely too frequently these days. Maria knew how much Jennetta cared about her people, but it was almost [i]too[/i] much. It was beginning to wear on her. She was tiring herself out by insisting on playing a role in every part of the new government.
Glancing at the expressionless shapeshifter beside her, Maria felt a pang of irritation with him. While she knew that he was helping Jennetta surreptitiously from the shadows, he was still resisting any sort of relationship with Maria's daughter. It was completely clear at this point that it wasn't because he didn't want one either. The way he tensed under her hand as the group below finished up and Jennetta went to speak to Reston, the tall handsome Illyiran more than told her so.
Yes, Ren certainly cared about Jenny. But he was also still stubbornly insisting that he was unworthy of her. His guilt over his mother and father's many schemes had scarred him more than any of them had ever foreseen. He was particularly irate about Milena's role in stealing Max's throne, mainly because her only goal in that had been his ascension. Marrying Jennetta would give Milena what she wanted - Ren on the throne - and he seemed determined that this should never happen.even at the expense of his - and Jennetta's - heart.
Jennetta had been patient up to this point though, much to Maria's admiration. She had been busy after all, working with Max to ensure a smooth transition of governmental power. They had visited most of the major cities on Illyria by now, Max repeating the ceremony of abdication and Jennetta's coronation in all of them. Jaxon Falconer's complete support of the new queen, proclaimed the Chosen One of prophecy, had calmed the waters. Things were going much more quickly and much more effectively than any of them had ever dreamed.
In fact, if what Jenny had told Maria last night was true, the Earthly contingent might be able to return to their planet much sooner than any of them had ever anticipated.
Suddenly Maria knew exactly why Jenny had allowed the new four square's attempt at a healing to go forward. Healing the Dernians was the last function of which the Royal Four were in complete control. When there was a significant enough four square ready to take over.Well, then it would be time to go home.
Maria swallowed at the thought, her eyes glued to Jennetta, who was standing close to Reston, her hand on his arm. The very idea of leaving her daughter.It was heartbreaking. But Maria also knew that she and Michael truly did not belong on Illyria. For one, Michael was too closely linked to Max, Isabel and Tess through their four square to be truly happy without them nearby. If they went, then he would have to as well.
The other reason was that they both knew that they could not spend their existence living vicariously through their daughter. They had known since the very beginning that they were going to have to give her up at some point, that they were going to have to leave her to lead her own life.
They needed to live [I]their[/I] lives. Because, in the end, they were both still barely nineteen years old.
And, yet, the thought of being brave enough to move on.it was still supremely torturous. To leave her child behind.Maria really just didn't know if she could do it, in spite of her assurances to Jennetta that she would.
Particularly if she was going to be leaving her daughter all alone, thanks in large part to the stubborn shapeshifter beside her. Which was why she said it. She regretted it immediately and, yet, didn't. What was going on below had reinforced to her that she was running out of time to interfere. She was Jennetta's mother. It was her [I]job[/I] to interfere. Michael wouldn't agree and had told her so many times over the past months. But Michael was wrong. He was [I]always[/I] wrong. And, while she couldn't presently think of an instance where he [I]had[/I] been wrong recently, she knew he was.
It was now or never. "They make a cute couple, don't they?"
Ren turned his head and stared down at her. "Who?"
"Jennetta and Reston," Maria replied, wanting to take the words back immediately. Ren might not still be completely comfortable with his emotions, but the expression on his face.Well, she hadn't meant to slaughter him, just wake him up.
She wrinkled her nose. Damn. He wasn't supposed to look like that. He was proving Michael right darn him!
Ren was looking down at the pair again. They had moved to stand near Michael and Sarra, who were speaking quietly, Michael using his hands to accentuate what he was telling the apprentice warrior. Maria felt a flash of pride, in spite of her present annoyance at her fiancé that he had been right. Four years ago she never in a million years would have even guessed that Michael would turn out to be such a patient and competent teacher. He insisted on training all the healing four squares personally. He had told Maria once that it was because he understood better than anyone how completely stupid one could feel with great power at one's disposal and no comprehension of how to use it properly.
"Jennetta is kind to everyone," Ren was saying, pulling Maria out of her reflection. "It doesn't mean anything." Maria could hear the uncertainty in his voice though.
Maria sighed. "But what if it did Ren? What then?"
"I don't understand you."
She rolled her eyes. "You understand me all right. You think you're only hurting yourself by staying away from her. First of all, it's not true, but you know what the really hard thing is going to be? Someday, it will be. She's going to have to move on if you can't give her what she needs. And the question is, will you survive that?"
"What I want is unimportant," Ren snapped. "She is the queen. She will marry where she wills."
"I beg to differ," Maria flared back. "She [I]wills[/I] to marry you. It's your stubbornness that is making her miserable. She [I]needs[/I] you."
He didn't reply, merely closed his eyes, a spasm of pain running across his face.
Maria squeezed his arm. "Why are you torturing yourself like this? You know you need her too," she said quietly. "It is so stupid Ren. What will it take to make you see that you can't run from her forever?"
There was a long pause. When he finally spoke, it was barely a whisper. In fact, Maria wasn't even sure if she'd heard him correctly. "I don't know."
But he had said it. Maria pressed her lips together, determination coursing through her veins. If Ren didn't know, then Maria would find out for him. And she knew just where to start.
***
"That was excellent," Isabel said, taking Rilla by the hand and squeezing. "You helped Sarra through it. It's exactly what the matched pair of a four square is supposed to do. Good work."
Rilla smiled shyly. "She was open to it. It wasn't difficult at all." The young dreamwalker's voice reflected her amazement.
"You sound surprised," Isabel replied.
"I." Rilla swallowed, then continued, "I must admit that I was unsure. She is.well, she is Dernian."
Isabel nodded. "She is. But she's also part of you now. The four of you are a bonded unit. That means something Rilla. Believe me. From now on, she will always be one of you first and Dernian second."
Isabel knew that what she was saying weren't merely words. She had [I]felt[/I] it through the connection she had maintained with the newer four square. This was really going to work. They were really healing the wounds that had paralyzed their planet for generations. And all it had taken was making both sides open their eyes to each other.
It had been sheer brilliance on Jemma's part to insist on bringing the changed humans through the portal with them. Their ease with each other and their pure connections through their four squares had easily defused the guilds, which had always been opposed to seeing their particular members join too intimately with groups bearing other gifts. It had been a belief that doing so would dilute the gifts, but the Royal Four and the changed humans had shown that the bonds the four squares created actually strengthened their powers. It had been a revelation and was changing the way that the guilds interacted, which was only emphasizing the new rapprochement between Illyria and Dernia.
Isabel knew that a lot of the changed humans planned to stay on Illyria once the Royal Four left. Some of them had never felt like they truly belonged on Earth after their rebirths anyway. They were looking forward to rebuilding their lives in the newly emerging order of Jennetta's rule.
She didn't really understand it, this desire some of the humans felt to leave Earth behind. She could feel pure joy running through her even now as she thought of home. She had tried hard not to think of it over the past months, knew that it would only make it seem longer, but with every step they took forward like this, they came that much closer to being able to return. She would finally be allowed to go home to her real mother and father. She would be going home with Alex so that they could start their lives together - so that they could go [I]back[/I] and really be kids again.
"Shall we join the others?" Isabel asked Rilla now. She could see that Jennetta was helping the newly healed Dernian to his feet, Max's counterpart Reston at the shapeshifter's other elbow. He looked disoriented as they always did after the abrupt return of their emotions. Over the months they had discovered that it usually took several weeks for a healed Dernian to adjust, but that they soon started behaving as though they had never lost their ability to feel.
Ren, in his stubbornness, was of course the exception, Isabel reflected, catching sight of her brother on the balcony above them. Before she could call to him, he had disappeared though, like the shadow he had become lately. She shook her head, forced herself to forget about her concern for him at the moment. She had other things to worry about.
It was wonderful to watch their people regain something they didn't even know they had lost. And, yet, Isabel still wanted to go home. Because, while Illyria would always hold a piece of her heart - just like Michael and Tristandor would, those memories her mother had brought to the forefront still existing - she did not belong here. As the time drew closer for them to leave for good, the more certain she was.
And, yet, there was still one more piece of business that needed to be taken care of. She and Max had agreed that it would be today. They had been distracted by the new four square's desire to try healing and Jennetta's request that they support them, but she knew that they still meant to get it over with. As she came up beside her brother, Max turned his head and raised his eyebrows questioningly. She nodded.
"If we're done here Jennetta," Max said, "Izzy and I have somewhere we need to be."
"Of course," Jennetta answered, looking up. She was in the process of signing a paper that an aide had just thrust before her. Michael was standing beside her, an annoyed expression on his face. Isabel knew that he wanted to speak to the young queen about exactly why she had been so eager to have the mixed four square try this so soon - perhaps [I]too[/I] soon. He had gone along, but Isabel had felt through their recent connection how unhappy he was about it.
It [I]had[/I] been slightly reckless, Isabel allowed silently to herself. And, yet, Jennetta had been right. The new four square had been ready. It had only emphasized again how competent Jenny was, how ready to rule by herself.
"I'd like to see you both in my chambers in a couple of hours if that's all right?" Jennetta called after them.
"Okay," Max replied. "We'll be there."
Isabel followed her brother out of the great chamber and into the hallway that led deeper into the fortress. They didn't bother to speak. She could feel Max's tension easily, was glad that she wasn't the only one not looking forward to laying eyes on their mother again. It had to be done though, if only to close the book on that chapter of her life. She didn't need the woman, but she certainly needed to assure that she wasn't going to mess with Isabel's head again.
It had been something of a shock when Milena had turned herself in the week before. Neither sibling had been ready to deal with her then, mainly because it had come out of nowhere. In fact, Max had been on the other side of the planet with Jennetta, Liz, Maria and Michael, performing one of the last ceremonies of abdication, while Isabel had been in the next city over with Alex, Tess and Kyle forming four squares with the blessing of the guilds.
The queen mother had been in hiding since her return through the Ring on the day Nasedo had finally been vanquished. One of Max's last actions as king had been to send out a contingent of the Royal Guard to track her down. There had been no sign of her anywhere though, not after she had initially been sighted coming through the Ring. She had disappeared almost immediately, quite obviously not alone. It could have been nothing less than a mindwarp at work, which had surprised none of them. Jendar's body had been missing from where they had originally found it outside the Ring, clearly not quite as dead as they had all thought. The mindwarp really was the most irritating of gifts when it wasn't on your side, Isabel reflected ruefully now.
Milena's emergence seemed to indicate that she had been waiting to see how Jennetta's ascension to the throne played out before allowing herself to be found. It had been Jenny's idea to start circulating the rumour in the countryside that the new queen planned to marry Ren, the former king's brother, even though it wasn't yet entirely true. None of them had been aware she had done it until Milena showed up. It being the one thing Milena had wanted above all others - her son by Nasedo on the throne - Jenny had been right in her suspicion that was what would finally bring their mother out.
They had all finally arrived back at the Citadel only the night before. Max and Isabel had agreed that they would wait until today to face the woman who had given them life twice, but had also felt it was her right to control their destinies because of it.
"Are you sure you're ready to do this Iz?" Max asked as they reached the bottom of the staircase that led to the dungeons. "I can talk to her alone you know."
Isabel rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous Max. I need to finish this with her just as much as you do. You were right when you said yesterday that we can't make Ren talk to her. It'll be too hard on him."
Isabel knew for certain that this was true. As the only one of her children at the Citadel when Milena had arrived, it had been Ren that had been forced to deal with her. He had been particularly non-communicative since. Isabel had developed a fairly keen ability to read her half-brother since his emotions had been returned, mainly because she had bullied him into developing a relationship with her, much to Max's amusement. They shared a mother and he deserved a family beyond his horrible parents. Ren had seemed nonplused at first but had recently started to open up to Isabel. His abrupt shut-down had told her better than anything that he was definitely upset. Isabel had no idea what their mother had said to him, although she suspected that it was something about marrying Jenny because he had quite clearly been avoiding Jennetta since her return to the fortress.
Not that he hadn't been lurking, as his appearance on the balcony moments ago indicated. She hoped that Jennetta hadn't hurt her own cause with Ren by using him to bring Milena out of hiding. He had been slowly adjusting to his new role as a member of the royal family, even though he continued to deny himself any position because of it. Isabel was pretty sure he had been on the verge of caving, of admitting that he wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him, but Milena's sudden reappearance might have put a damper on the whole thing.
"Okay then," Max replied, sighing. "We go in, tell her what we want, then leave. She'll try and play us if we let her Isabel. She's done it all along."
"I still feel sorry for her Max," Isabel admitted as they paused outside the cell door. The guard standing there had his hand up to let them in, but Isabel waved him away without thinking about it. She didn't even realize she'd done it until Max raised his eyebrows, amused. She felt a flash of embarrassment. She knew she had allowed herself to become slightly imperious again since they had been there, but it was hard not to with all the bowing and scraping that went on. Even if Max was no longer king, in the eyes of the Illyrians, they would both always be royal. Yet another reason she couldn't wait to get home. She needed a serious reality check. Thank God she had her brother and Alex and the others to keep her in line. Illyria was not her reality - not for much longer.
She glared at Max, even though she knew she deserved that look. "Well, don't you?" She demanded.
"No," Max answered firmly. "She chose her path. Now she has to pay the price."
"But Max, without her, you never would have found Liz," Isabel argued.
"Not true," Max returned. "Liz and I would have found each other eventually. I won't let her take credit for it. She doesn't deserve it. She tortured you Isabel and now she's torturing Ren."
"Ren is torturing himself," Isabel sighed. "We really need to do something about that Max."
"Which is why I'm here."
Isabel and Max both turned their heads and stared at Maria, who had obviously just followed them down the stairs.
"Stop looking so shocked," Maria ordered. "This woman has done just about enough to screw with people I care about. Her very existence is keeping my daughter from having what she wants and needs and it's going to stop. Today."
"Maria."
"Don't Maria me. I'm going to make her do what needs to be done."
Isabel looked at Max, who shrugged. "If you think you can make her give up her gift, then more power to you," he said. "I just want her under control once and for all. We can't leave here until she is."
"Okay then." Maria crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. "I'll give you guys a few minutes alone with her. I know you need that. And then I'm coming in."
Isabel almost felt sorry for her mother. Almost.
She reached up and placed her hand firmly against the handprint that activated the cell door. It slid silently into the wall. She stepped back and allowed Max to go first. Maria grabbed her hand quickly and squeezed. "Be careful," her friend whispered.
Isabel smiled, then entered the cell.
Milena was seated on a stool near the small table under the single window in the room. Her face was expressionless as she took in her two children. "So, you've come at last," she finally said, her voice weak and cracking slightly. She seemed more broken than Isabel had expected considering she was the one who had allowed herself to be captured. "I wasn't sure you would see me."
"I can safely say that if I trusted you alone with Isabel, I wouldn't have," Max informed her, sounding angrier than Isabel had heard him in a long time. As much as he was trying to pretend that his mother's betrayal in his last lifetime didn't matter to him, Isabel knew that it really did. He would never admit it, but there could be no doubt if simply being in her presence made him so mad.
"I know I deserve that," Milena sighed. "But you are happy my Jaxon. I know you are. You have everything I ever wanted for you. You have the life that is right for you."
"It wasn't your decision to decide what was right," Max snapped. "You are not allowed to take credit for my life. Everything you have done in [I]your[/I] life more than shows that you don't care about either of us. It's yourself you love."
"That is [I]not[/I] true," Milena argued, getting to her feet and reaching out her hands pleadingly. "You must believe that I only had your best interests at heart. I held the throne for you."
Max snorted. "I'm sure you really believe that too, which is the saddest part of this whole thing."
Isabel frowned, placed her hand gently on Max's shoulder. He was shaking slightly, obviously trying to control his rage. He was going to be really annoyed at himself later that he had allowed Milena to upset him so quickly. This woman had sorely tested her brother's even temper. "Mother, you yourself admitted that you want the throne for Ren," she said quietly, deciding to take over the conversation. "You held this planet under interdict so that Max could abdicate on Ren's behalf. We know that is the truth."
Isabel watched her birth mother's eyes brighten slightly. "I saw him - yesterday. He has grown into a handsome man."
"We know," Isabel replied. "But you should have known that. It was he who brought Jennetta to you after all."
"I never saw him then," Milena said quietly. "I have not seen him since he was a babe in arms. He was weaned and podded and Laren took him away from me after that. I did not know who he was when he brought Jennetta to me. My husband dealt with all of that. It was only after he was sent through the portal after her that I realized who he was. But it was too late. Hamor had already ordered him to protect the child. He was gone before I ever saw him. I went to confront Laren after that, which was why I was here when Liz was brought to Illyria." She raised her chin. "My son did not know who he was, quite clearly. Laren made sure of that and, yet, the prophecy that the chosen one would journey to Earth through the portal was fulfilled anyway. He is destined to rule. Laren refused to accept this, but I knew what it meant."
"But that could have just as easily meant Max [I]or[/I] Jenny," Isabel reminded her. "They both went through the portal then too."
Milena shook her head. "Jaxon is destined to be with his Liz. He always was, was born into the wrong time and place. Jennetta cannot be the Chosen One. She is not Illyrian. But if you cannot see that, it is fine. She will still be queen when she marries my son."
"[I]We[/I] choose her," Max told her flatly, obviously now in control of his temper again. "And so she is the one meant to rule. I don't believe in any of this destiny garbage anyway. She is queen in her own right and you won't interfere with that."
Milena smiled slightly. "Oh my dear son. You argue so fervently against it but you are living your destiny. Will you ever stop being so stubborn?"
"Mother, you tried to have us killed," Isabel interrupted. Max was beginning to look steamed again. It was really amazing how this woman knew exactly which buttons to push to irritate him.
"I did not Mirana, I swear it," Milena said firmly. "Laren lied about that. Neither you, nor Tristandor were meant to die that day. Neither was Jaxon actually. Laren told me that he had found a way to get Jaxon to Earth. Since I knew it was all my son really wanted anyway, I allowed him to proceed with his plan. When you died." She trailed off, swallowed. Isabel wondered how this woman could really seem to care about them and, yet, she did not understand what it meant to love unconditionally. She had worked out in her head what she thought was meant to be and couldn't let it go, no matter what they said to her. "Which was why I had to make sure that you and your Tris found your way back to each other," she finished quietly.
"But it did happen. And the fact that you actually believed that I would have been happy without my brother.That I ever could have accepted what you allowed to happen to him.The consequence of what you did to me is that I remember exactly who I was then and there is no way I ever would have forgiven you." Isabel raised her chin. "I'm glad I died. This is the life I want. I love Earth and I love my parents there. My mom wants me to be whomever I want to be. You can't say the same, can you? You want me to be who you remember and I'm not her anymore. Your schemes made sure of that."
Milena closed her eyes, sighing. "I regret it my child. I hope you believe that."
"It doesn't really matter," Isabel replied. And she realized it was true. It didn't. Whatever had come before was over now. If she wanted to, Milena could believe that she had orchestrated it all. They would leave her behind and live the lives they wanted. How they had gotten there was no longer important. It only mattered that they had arrived.
There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Milena seemed to compose herself. When she opened her eyes, she was staring right at Isabel. "I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day my daughter."
"I don't need to forgive you Mother. It's over," Isabel replied. "But if you need to hear it, then know that I do. Because it really doesn't matter to me anymore."
"It's not that simple Iz," Max reminded her. "We can't trust her."
"Is there nothing I can do or say to change your minds?" Milena asked. "I will do anything. I simply want to be allowed to live out my last days in peace and spend time with my children."
"You won't see us again," Isabel told her. "We don't belong here. And Ren won't see you either. Everything that you've done.He blames himself. He won't marry Jennetta because it's what [I]you[/I] want."
"What?" Milena sounded horrified. "Why would he do such a thing?"
"Because he's not like you Mother. He actually understands that sometimes the ends do not justify the means."
"So much for destiny," Max muttered, quite obviously disgusted. "You've meddled him right off the throne."
"Is there nothing that can be done to change his mind?" Milena asked desperately. "This makes no sense. Why would he want to give up what is meant to be?"
"He's punishing you." This came from Maria, who was standing in the doorway of the cell, an annoyed look on her face. Their friend had obviously been unable to wait any longer to blast this woman. Isabel smiled slightly, wondered if Maria had been eavesdropping the whole time. It was highly likely. "But you're going to convince him that you've been punished enough," Maria continued. "Because I, for one, will not stand around and watch him continue to punish my daughter and himself for your actions."
Milena stared at Maria, a perplexed expression on her face. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to willingly give up your gift so that Isabel can live without looking over her shoulder," Maria told her. "If you can show Ren that you are truly sorry for what you've done, maybe he'll get over himself."
"He won't believe it," Isabel said, shaking her head. "He has trouble controlling his emotions, even now. The guilt factor.I don't think anything is going to be able to take it away."
"If she becomes insignificant, if she knows that he can't mess with any of you anymore by her own choice, then maybe he'll be able to move on," Maria argued.
"Maybe." Isabel wrinkled her nose. "But I doubt it."
"I'll do it," Milena said. "I will do anything to make you all see that I have changed. I do not need my gift any longer. Everything has ended as it was meant to."
Isabel looked at Max. She could feel her brother's satisfaction running through her own veins and his next comment reflected it. "I won't say no to that. It's what we want. Iz, you may trust her, but I don't and I won't leave here until I know she can't ever hurt you again. She's going to lose you and I'm not at all convinced by this change of heart. She'll try and bring you back. I know she will."
"I just don't see how it will make Ren change his mind," Isabel told him.
"[I]Something[/I] has to," Maria sighed. "It's worth a try."
Isabel felt a pang of sympathy run through her as she looked at her mother. She couldn't help it. The woman was so intent on making amends, she was going to willingly give up a part of her that made her who she was. Isabel knew how empty she would feel if she lost her gift. Maybe Milena really [I]had[/I] changed.
"Mirana." Isabel raised her head, met her mother's eyes. "It is all right my child. I choose this. Maria is right. It may do some good. It may also bring you back to me completely some day..maybe Ren as well. It is worth it to me. I will do anything to regain your trust."
Isabel glanced at Max. His expression was implacable, unbending. He didn't feel at all bad about this. It worried her. But if it was what Milena wanted. "Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "Let's go to the Ring and get it over with."
***
"I want to know what's going on with you. That was a very big risk we just took down there. There was no way of knowing that Sarra was ready to handle a healing."
Jennetta sighed. She threw herself down onto the Earth-style couch she had ordered built for her private office before looking at Michael, who was standing in the doorway, his arms folded sternly. "I knew she could do it Michael."
"You're taking too many chances Jenny. You have to stop it. We'll leave when we're done our work here. Speeding things up to get us off Illyria is dangerous."
"Slowing things down just so you don't have to go back is ridiculous," Jennetta flared back. "I know what you're doing Michael. You're trying to convince yourself I still need you so that you don't have to leave."
Michael narrowed his eyes. "Are you telling me you [I]don't[/I] need us?"
"No," Jenny replied. "You know I do. But I also don't need you to tell me what to do. I'm not a kid and I have to do this on my own. I have to make these calls. Sarra told me she was ready and I chose to trust her. Was I or was I not right?"
"You were," Michael allowed gruffly. "I just want to know that you didn't let her go ahead to convince me that we can leave."
"You know I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just don't want you to have to stay any longer than necessary. The longer you're gone from Earth, the harder it will be to get your lives back. I mean, you've all been gone for almost a year! Do you really think that you can just melt back into Roswell after all this time?"
"Who cares?" Michael demanded. "We'll adjust. Besides, we won't be there long. Most of them are going off to college anyway."
Jennetta blinked at the absurdity of that fact. "That's just really weird, isn't it?"
Michael snorted. "I'll say." He came and flopped down beside her, lacing his hands behind his head and staring up at the high ceiling. "Our lives are weird Jenny. We either accept it or we lose our minds. It's as simple as that."
Jennetta giggled. "Normal's boring though. Don't you think?"
"I think," he agreed. He turned his head so that he was looking at her. "But I don't want you doing anything to jeopardize this planet just to get us off it sooner. We'll go home eventually. And I can't say that I mind spending time here with you."
"But you don't belong here Michael," Jennetta reminded him quietly. "I know you know that, but I also know you feel guilty about it. I just want you to stop. We can't help who we are or how I grew up. It's done, we have to accept it."
"It's not that easy," Michael retorted. "You're my kid. It's my job to protect you." He scowled. "I was willing to allow that maybe it wouldn't always be my job, but that was before I knew what a stubborn ass Ren was going to be. I'm not leaving you here alone Jennetta. If he doesn't shape up, we're not going anywhere."
Jennetta smiled, although a pang of sadness ran through her at the thought of Ren. She hated to see him torturing himself the way he was, but she had noticed him bending recently. She was not the only one who had become aware of Reston's interest in her. She had seen Ren watching them together and while she had absolutely no interest in the healer, she was pretty sure Ren wasn't aware of that. She hadn't really done anything to reassure him either. Let him wonder. She might be patient, but she couldn't help her slight anger either. His stubbornness was about to drive her insane.
She really wasn't worried though. She knew that they were meant to be together. She would wait forever if she had to. She also knew that Michael was serious though. He wouldn't leave Illyria until he knew she was really settled. It was why she had sent Reston to find Ren. She needed to talk to him, needed to make him see that he wasn't just hurting himself any longer. He was hurting everyone.
She had wanted to talk to Ren since the evening before anyway, when he had seen Milena, but he had been avoiding her. Of course, he always avoided her, but this seemed more deliberate than usual.
Now really wasn't the time to be thinking about this though. She still had her father to deal with. "Michael, you have to stop worrying about Ren. He'll come around. I know he will."
Michael sat up. "How? How do you know?"
"If he didn't love me, he wouldn't be hurting so much over what his mother and father did," Jennetta replied.
"If he loved you, he wouldn't be hurting you by staying way," Michael snapped.
"You're right."
Jennetta started, turned to the door to see Ren standing there, his usual blank expression on his face. It amazed her that, in spite of his emotions, he still managed to remain completely unreadable most of the time. It didn't mean that she didn't understand him though. Because he couldn't control his emotions, he hid them. And he hid them because he was in pain. No one hid joy.
"I'm right about what?" Michael demanded, getting to his feet. "That you don't love her?"
Ren didn't answer. He just looked at Jennetta. "I've been told you want to see me. I'm glad. I wanted to speak to you too. Alone," he added meaningfully when Michael didn't appear to be any rush to leave.
"If you think I'm going anywhere, you're nuts," Michael said.
"Michael." Jennetta glared at him. "Go away."
"Oh for." He scowled. "Fine. But I'll be back. Soon." He practically stomped out. Jennetta grinned in spite of herself. It was peculiar having to deal with a teen-age father and his volatile emotions. Their lives were indeed weird.
After he left, a long silence fell over the room. Jennetta shifted, not uncomfortable, just a little nervous. Her heart was pounding steadily with awareness, as it always did when Ren was near. She could feel his eyes on her, as comforting as they always were and, yet, there was something different this time. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.
"Why did you want to see me?" Ren finally asked. He had moved across the room and was perched on the couch beside her.
Jennetta looked at him. "I wanted to make sure you were all right," she admitted. "I know you saw Milena. It must have been hard for you."
Ren looked away, frowning slightly. "It was surprisingly easy. When I met her." He shrugged. "I felt how much she truly did love me. It was not what I expected."
"What do you mean?"
He didn't answer right away. He was still staring off into the distance, a puzzled expression on his face. Finally he said, "I was just surprised. I did not expect that she truly felt that way about me. I know my father did not. It was a revelation."
"That you are loveable?" Jennetta flared, annoyed in spite of herself. "[I]I[/I] love you, you jerk. Isabel loves you. Maria does too. You should know that by now."
Ren stared at her, seemed mildly amused. "That's not what I meant my queen."
"Jennetta," she snapped automatically. They had been having this argument for months, when he deigned to speak to her that was. He still refused to call her by her name though.
"Jennetta," he agreed. She blinked, then stared at him.
"What?"
"I spoke to Maria earlier," Ren said, changing the subject for some reason Jennetta didn't understand. She was still flabbergasted that he had actually used her name. "She asked what it would take to make me to see that I couldn't run from you forever."
Jennetta sighed, decided she was going to have to have a word with her mother. Why couldn't either of her parents understand that they couldn't force the situation between she and Ren? Why couldn't they see that she was fine? "I'm going to kill her," she muttered.
"No. It was good that she said it. She helped me to work something out that I've been thinking about since I met Milena yesterday anyway. I told her I didn't know, but that wasn't entirely true. I realized that all this time I needed to know that you were not better off without me."
Something in his voice made her heart start to beat more quickly. "You say that as though that's no longer true. Like you do know now."
"Meeting my mother." He trailed off, obviously searching for the words. "I realized something - something I never expected. She loves me and she thinks that because of it she can control who I am and what I am meant to be. Everything she has done shows that." He swallowed, his voice cracking slightly with barely controlled emotion. "All I have wanted to ensure since I found out who she was to me was that I not be like her, just as I never wanted to be like my father. It was only after meeting her that I realized that I have been exactly like her. That because I love you, because I felt that you were better off without me, I could make you see it too. But it was not fair. I have been trying to control you, just as she tried to control me."
Jennetta shook her head slightly, wondering if she was really hearing correctly. "Did you just say what I think you said?"
Ren frowned. "What?"
"That you love me. Did you actually just admit it?"
He blinked, then smiled almost shyly. "Well, yes. But you knew it my queen." He paused, then said in a voice so gentle, it was almost a caress. "You knew my Jenny." He reached out, took her hands in his. "I can no longer deny you - deny myself - simply because this will fulfill what she thinks is my destiny. She's just right. You [I]are[/I] my destiny. I do love you and if you still want me, then I want to marry you."
Jennetta felt tears filling her eyes. "If I still want you? Of [I]course[/I] I want you. I could never want anyone else." She threw her arms around his neck.
They sat there for several moments, just enjoying the feel of each other's bodies. Ren finally pulled back, smoothing her hair away from her face. "You must understand something though Jennetta. I won't be king."
She stared at him. "What? Why not?"
"I will support you in every way and I will love you, but I will not rule. I must insist on that. [I]You[/I] are the chosen one. You are [I]my[/I] chosen one. You always have been, whether I understood it or not. They say that the cleansed become focused on one thing. You were always my focus, my obsession, and my love. From the very first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you belonged to me. I just didn't understand what it meant."
"But I want you to be king," Jennetta argued.
"You want it because you love me," Ren replied. "But I really don't want to be. I just want you."
Jennetta felt her heart contract again. "Well, when you put it that way." She smiled. "All I want is you too. I don't care if you're king. You will be in every way that matters anyway. To me, you will be."
His eyes darkened. She knew what was coming next. Her entire body did. She could feel the blood singing in her veins in anticipation.
The kiss, when it came, was so sweet and full of promise, she could no longer stop the tears that had been lingering on her lashes since he had first admitted that he loved her.
They were so wrapped up in each other, Jennetta wasn't aware that they were no longer alone until she heard someone clear their throat.
She turned her head, still slightly dazed from the intensity of Ren's kisses, and met Max's amused gaze. "Well, I can see that our interference wasn't required after all."
Jennetta blinked. "Pardon me?"
"Never mind," Max replied. He turned, pushing Isabel and Maria out of the room. They had obviously come in behind him and were both still standing with their mouths hanging open. "We'll just leave you two alone. We'll be back later."
"What was that all about?" Jennetta wondered aloud.
"Does it really matter?" Ren asked, kissing her temple.
She turned back to him, grinning. "Actually, not a bit. If they want to leave us alone, who am I to say no?"
And, with that, she kissed him again.
To be continued.
