[u]Part 52[/u]
"Of course there's no choice," Jennetta said. She was standing near one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in her audience chamber, the late afternoon rays of Illyria's sun reflecting off her light brown hair. Michael could not stop staring at her. Since the instant he had understood that he was really going to have to leave his daughter behind this very day, he had been unable to take his eyes off her. He knew it was ridiculous, but for some reason he had the idea that if he memorized every detail of she looked like, he wouldn't miss her as much.
Ha. Like he wouldn't feel her absence as a dull ache for the rest of his life even though he knew intellectually that he would see her again. Kyle and Tess had spent many hours in the Citadel's archives compiling information about how to build their very own Ring near Roswell after they returned. But that likely wouldn't be ready for years and it wasn't like they could just keep jetting off to England at a moment's notice. They were still only teenagers after all. And if everything went according to Lucianus's promise, if they really did manage to return to a time before the Crashdown fire, then they wouldn't even have graduated from high school yet. Michael grimaced at the thought of it. The very idea of returning to the halls of West Roswell, if even for the few days it would entail, was enough to turn him off the concept of returning to Earth at all.
For one brief moment, his stomach did a little flip-flop. Could he just stay here? It was still a possibility. He had certainly considered remaining on Illyria when the others left. He knew Maria had too. But he also knew, in his heart, that it wasn't the right thing. They could not foist themselves on Jennetta like that. In spite of his words earlier that day, his daughter needed the chance to rule in her own right, needed them gone so that her authority would be unquestioned.
"It isn't just about Liz's parents either," Jennetta continued seriously. "You'll get to live the time you missed while you were here. This is a gift." She looked around the room at each of them, tears shining in her dark eyes. "You all deserve this chance, this opportunity to go back to your regular lives, to pretend none of this ever happened. I am so happy that you have it."
"We'll never forget," Max stated simply. Michael was glad that his friend had spoken for all of them. He was too choked up to even attempt to protest Jenny's guilt over all they had given up for her.
There was a long moment of quiet as everyone absorbed what this meant, absorbed the fact that they were really going back to Roswell tonight and that they were going to be able to pick their lives up exactly where they had left off.
"We'll prepare the transports to take you to the Ring tonight," Ren finally said, breaking the silence. He was standing near Jenny, his hands clasped behind his back, truly one of the group again for the first time since he had regained his emotions. It was only now that he was back in the fold, after his lengthy period of distance while he dealt with his demons, that Michael realized how much a part of things he had always been. Since he had first appeared that day in the cave, impersonating Eddie, seemingly holding all the answers but, in the end, knowing even less about their destinies than they did, he had become one of them.
Of course, his pleasure at Ren's sudden change of heart did not mean that Michael entirely trusted him. He did believe that a large part of his issue over the past months had been that he felt unworthy of Jennetta. But the fact that he had hurt Michael's daughter in even that small way.Well, he had to admit, he was wary.
Ren's epiphany did mean that she wouldn't be alone when they left though. At the very least there was that.
"I'm sorry about this," Liz was saying quietly. She was standing beside Maria, her arm around Michael's girlfriend's shoulder. Her guilt at taking Maria away from Jennetta so quickly was clearly evident. "But it really will solve so many problems. We won't have to explain what happened to me, we won't have lost any time." She shook her dark head in wonder. "We'll even get to graduate with our class."
Kyle grinned. "Aha! The real reason comes out! Liz, you want to be valedictorian, don't you?" Tess elbowed him soundly in the ribs, but he merely grunted and said, "C'mon, I'm kidding. But like she's not going to be."
"I really do appreciate this guys," Liz insisted, after rolling her eyes at Kyle's teasing. "I know it's a lot to ask."
"It isn't Lizzie," Maria told her firmly. "What happened to your parents was wrong. If we can make it so that it never did.Well, we'll all deal." Her voice faltered slightly. "We all knew this day was coming anyway."
"We still have a few hours," Max said softly, his sympathy for Maria in his voice. But when Michael managed to take his eyes off of his daughter for a moment to glance at his best friend, Max was looking at him, not Maria, his concern obvious. "I suggest we use it to say good-bye. I'm sure we all have people we'll want to thank. We'll meet at the Ring at sunset."
There was nothing else to say. The group filtered slowly out until only Michael, Maria, Ren and Jennetta remained. They all stood staring at each other like idiots for such a long moment, Michael actually almost felt the urge to laugh.
"This is ridiculous," he finally stated baldly. "I'm not going to get all weepy. We're going to see each other again." He heard his voice crack, pretended it hadn't.
He met Maria's gaze. Her blue eyes were bright with tears, but she raised her chin bravely and nodded. "I agree. We can't just sit here. We need to [I]do[/I] something."
Ren stepped forward. "I think I have just the thing, if you'll permit me to suggest it."
When they all agreed, Jennetta's future husband ushered them all out of the chamber.
Half an hour later they had arrived at their destination. Michael heard the stir when they walked in. Of course everyone knew who they were. It was still strange though. Michael felt a dull flush rise in his cheeks. He would never get used to it, especially after all the time he had spent during his early years on Earth trying to maintain a low profile (of course, Maxwell would tell him that his constant run-ins with the law in those days had not been the best way to do that, but Maxwell wasn't around, now was he?). Most of the patrons stood as they caught sight of them, bowing in Jennetta's direction, but many of them nodding their heads respectfully to him as well.
After they were seated, the proprietor practically giddy at their patronage as he took their order, Michael took Maria's hand under the table. He pretended to himself that it was to comfort her, but knew deep inside that it was more for his own benefit. Her fingers were trembling in his and he felt a flash of gratitude that he was not going to go through this alone. Maria would understand exactly how he was feeling, how he would feel once they were home. She was the only one who really could. Thank God he had her. He felt the ring he had given her pressing into the palm of his hand, its hard surface reassuring that he would never have to say good-bye to her too.
Michael returned his gaze to his daughter, who was looking around the room, keen interest on her pretty face. "I've never been in a place like this before," she told them, sounding a little gleeful if Michael was not mistaken.
"I didn't even know they had places like this here," Maria admitted. Michael could tell that she was struggling to maintain a light tone. He squeezed her hand.
"This planet has struggled for generations to dull emotion," Ren told her wryly. "Of [I]course[/I] we have places like this. I used to come here all the time with my old regiment."
Michael snorted. "You do realize the irony in the fact that we're sitting here?"
"No, what?" Ren asked.
"We can't even get into places like this back home," Michael replied, snickering a bit in spite of himself. He looked at Maria. "We're not legal."
It was true. Only on Illyria could they sit in a pub and not be carded. It was actually funny. He could feel the amusement bubbling up within him, knew that it was mixed with an unhealthy dose of hysteria. Good Lord! He was either about to start cackling like a maniac or bawling like a baby.
Fortunately Maria seemed to notice because she picked up on his lead and added, "Not to mention the other pertinent fact."
Michael cleared his throat, played along. Let them all pretend that nothing was wrong. It was the best way to get through it. "And that would be?"
"The fact that Czechoslovakians and Earthly alcohol don't mix." She smacked him lightly. "I mean, duh!"
"What do you mean?" Jenny asked eagerly, obviously getting into the spirit of trying to pretend they weren't all counting down the hours.
"Oh do I have a story for you two," Maria laughed. "It was all Kyle's fault of course."
In the end, it actually worked. Michael and Maria spent the few hours they had left with their daughter trying to one-up each other with funny stories about their friends and even themselves. Since returning to Illyria they hadn't had any time to just sit around and talk and Michael wondered how he hadn't realized it earlier. Their daughter [I]needed[/I] this, needed to know them.
He would have to thank Ren before they left. For his part, his future son- in-law simply sat back and listened, not interfering, letting them spend every precious moment sharing as much of themselves as they could. Michael couldn't ever remember talking as much in his life, actually felt like maybe he could do it - maybe it would be enough.
But when it was finally time to leave, as he watched Jennetta stand in her graceful way, watched her stop on her way to the pub's door to speak to an elderly man who had beckoned her over, he felt the lump return to his throat.
It would never be enough.
He was going to miss her until his dying day.
***
Liz clutched Max's hand. She didn't even realize she was shaking nervously until he brought his arm up and pulled her more closely against him, stroking her arm soothingly.
They had been the first to arrive in the Ring and, now, as their friends gradually filtered in she could feel her jitters increasing exponentially.
What if it didn't happen? What if she tore her friends away from Illyria before it was time, on the slimmest of hopes that her parents could be saved, and it didn't happen? As she watched Michael and Maria make their way slowly towards them, the last to arrive, she felt a pang of guilt at the sight of Jennetta firmly ensconced between them, as though they couldn't bear to let go of her for even a second.
"Liz, you have to stop feeling bad about this," Max told her firmly. As usual, he was completely in tune with her emotions. It embarrassed her that he knew what she was thinking. Her friends were giving her such a gift and she felt so bad about it, she couldn't even accept it gracefully. What was wrong with her?
Max turned her gently so that she was facing him. He raised her chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "Why do you think everyone wants to do this for you Liz? It's because you do feel bad about it. You always put everyone else first. This time we want you to be first. You deserve this. You risked everything to come here all alone, your only thought to protect every single one of us. You have to give everyone the chance to thank you - and this is how we want to do it."
For a moment she was perplexed. He had absolutely read her mind that time. The intensity and depth of their bond continued to amaze her and, yet, as always, he also managed to make her feel better. Since she didn't know what else to say, she simply said, "I hope you know how much I love you."
"If it's half as much as I love you than I am more lucky than I deserve," Max replied, leaning down and dropping a kiss on the tip of her nose.
"So the troops are assembled," Kyle stated. He and Tess had come over to join them, both looking almost as nervous as Liz felt. "Isabel's planning to send the changed humans first. Those who want to go that is. They're going back to England, through the Ring there. None of them belong in Roswell."
Liz looked over in the direction Kyle was nodding. Isabel was standing in the centre of the Ring, an orb in her hand, talking to Alex. Her boyfriend then turned away and relayed something to Jemma, who was obviously in charge of the returning humans. There weren't many of them at all, really only a handful. The fact that so many of those they had brought with them had chosen to stay.It only emphasized once again how alike Illyrians, Dernians and humans really were, as long as they made an attempt to understand each other.
"What did you guys do for the rest of the afternoon?" Liz asked, curious about to where Kyle and Tess had disappeared.
"Hamor took us to where Sabrya and Tristandor grew up. It was a manor house in Dernia," Tess explained, looking a little sad. "I'd never seen it. My mother's ashes were scattered there." She paused, then added quietly, "I.I made a little monument for Danala there too. In spite of everything, she was my sister. Now that everything's finally ending." She trailed off uncertainly.
"I can understand that," Liz told her gently. "You needed to make your peace with her."
Tess shrugged. "I guess so." She shook her blonde head slightly, as though to throw off her regrets. "What did you guys do?"
"Sort of the same thing," Max told her, sounding a bit grim. "But not nearly as pleasant. Liz came with me when I went to visit my mother again. Isabel did too."
"I take it from your tone that it didn't go well," Tess replied sympathetically.
Max sighed. "It was fine. We were all perfectly polite, but I finally realized something important. In my heart, she's just not my mother. I'm not angry at her anymore because, at the end of the day, I just don't care enough. My real mom is back on Earth. I can't wait to actually see her and tell her so."
"Well, I guess that's good," Tess said, glancing at Liz. She simply shrugged. She knew that it was really how Max felt. His anger [I]was[/I] gone. All he felt for Milena now was an ambivalence that probably hurt her more than his rage ever could. Liz actually felt sorry for the woman.
The sheer irony of the situation was that Isabel was much more ready to forgive her. Because, even after everything, Isabel did still care. She was secure now that Milena could never hurt her again, was content with accepting Diane Evans fully as her mother, but she would also always reserve a small place in her heart for the woman who had given her birth twice. Her ice queen façade was now truly shot, Liz reflected wryly. She had proven that afternoon that her ability to forgive was second to none.
Tess caught Liz's attention again when she heaved a small sigh. Looking at her, Liz could see that she was biting her lip as she stared at Michael, Maria and Jennetta. "I wonder how they're doing?"
"I'm betting not good." Liz sighed when she felt the stabbing guilt again, in spite of what Max had said. "I hope this is worth it."
"It will be," Kyle told her firmly. "This is the best thing for everyone Liz."
They all stood quietly for a moment after that, watching as Isabel opened the portal across the way. The sight never failed to amaze Liz, no matter how many times she saw it. Because of the power that her friend managed to pull out of that little orb - truly the ability to travel across the universe - they had suffered untold tragedy and heartache over the past three years and, yet, in the end, Liz would never tire of the simple miracle that they had all found each other in spite of the odds. That was what opening the portal represented to her every single time.
She felt Max's hand gently cradling the small of her back. She could sense his emotions, as always, and knew that he felt the same way.
When the changed humans had all disappeared, Isabel allowed the portal to close. Their path home would be different. Lucianus had explained the gist of it to she and Max when he had offered them the chance. The hardest part was yet to come.
"It's time," Max said quietly.
They all met in the centre of the Ring, the flurry of good-byes beginning almost immediately. Several of the more important people they had met over the course of their three year odyssey had joined them, as sad to see them go as they were finding it difficult to leave.
Max moved away from Liz briefly to say good-bye to the other Jaxon. The young shapeshifter was more than coming into his own, already having been promoted to a captain of the Royal Guard. He was firmly dedicated to the new queen, but Liz smiled when, much to Max's embarrassment, he insisted on going down on one knee and bowing his head to his former king. She suspected that, in spite of his abdication, King Jaxon would always be first in his namesake's heart.
Tess hugged Hamor, having gotten to know him better than anyone else over the course of her time on the planet. Liz knew that her friend viewed the old general as something of a grandfather now and that she would miss him immensely. It was unlikely that any of them would see the loyal man again either. He was more weary every day, clearly nearing the end of his lengthy life.
Ironically, Kyle had ended up becoming very good friends with Captain Lorn, his nemesis from his first days on Illyria. They shared a similar sense of humour and a keen enjoyment of the game of one-up-manship that had continued to play out over the months of their acquaintance. As Liz watched her friend shake hands with the Illyrian, she reflected that it actually didn't surprise her very much. Kyle always started off every worthwhile friendship antagonistically. Even he and Tess had spent more time teasing each other than anything else in the early days of their relationship.
Liz wished Jemma a fond farewell, glad that she had had time to get to know the feisty Illyrian. The woman had been able to tell her many stories about her grandmother, filling in the details Andrina/Claudia had left out of her journal. She had also lightened up considerably since she had returned to her home planet, simply grateful and content to be back to the place she had missed with all her heart.
Michael spent a few long moments speaking to Jemma privately as well. Liz suspected that he was giving his fellow warrior last minute instructions about keeping an eye on Jennetta. In spite of their early arguments, Jemma and Michael really did understand each other very well most of the time.
They all hugged Ren, Maria particularly hard, having shared many adventures with the shapeshifter, even before her daughter's birth. Even had she not come to love him for himself, Maria would always be grateful for the fact that it was Ren who had saved Jenny from Nasedo at the very beginning, when she was still just a baby. While they all knew by now that it had been his destiny to do so - that she had been meant for him even then - it didn't negate the fact that Michael and Maria would never have remembered, nor known, their daughter without Ren.
And, then, finally, it was time to say good-bye to Jenny.
Liz had noticed the young queen standing slightly apart through the farewells, watching and waiting for her turn. But when the time came, no one quite knew how to start. They all stood awkwardly. Liz realized that she was avoiding meeting anyone's eyes, just as she was avoiding hers, because if their gazes met, some of them - if not all - would completely lose it and break down.
As always, in the end, it was Max who stepped in to ease the moment. He moved toward the woman he would always regard as his little sister and held out his arms. She flew into them, all queenly poise forgotten. "Good-bye Jaxon."
"I'll miss you sweeting," Max told her gently, hugging her close, his hand raised to cup the back of her neck. Liz felt a lump enter her throat. She could feel Max's sorrow, but it was also combined with a healthy quantity of pride, which was reflected in his next words. "But I am so proud of you. You are doing this job so much better than I ever could have."
"Don't be silly," Jenny scoffed. "I learned everything I know from you. I love you."
"I love you too," Max replied, his voice breaking slightly as he hugged her close again.
It was one of the most charming things about Jennetta, Liz reflected. Her ability to love so completely and so openly were the exact reasons that she was the Chosen One. She had been born to show the Illyrians and Dernians, and even the eight people in the universe closest to her, exactly how love could bind people together forever.
They would stay connected to this girl, no matter the distance that separated them. And as Jennetta stopped in front of Liz, so much taller that she was forced to bend down to hug her, Liz whispered exactly that to her nominal niece. "We'll see you soon Jenny. In your dreams."
"I know it," Jennetta replied, stepping back and meeting her eyes. "Be happy Liz. You deserve it."
"You too sweetie."
Liz moved away, went to stand beside Max. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She turned her face towards him and smiled through her tears. Somehow that short moment with Jennetta had eradicated all her nerves. All she wanted now was to go home. Home to her parents, home to her boring life in Roswell, home to the beginning of her extraordinary life with Max.
She could hardly wait for it to go back so that it could all begin.
***
Isabel was the last one to hug Jennetta before the queen went to join Michael and Maria again for one final good-bye. As Jenny started to walk away, Isabel called after her.
"I'm sorry Jennetta."
Jenny turned, obviously perplexed. "For what Isabel?"
"I'm sorry we weren't really sisters," Isabel blurted out. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you sometimes."
Jennetta smiled, her eyes twinkling. "That's what [I]made[/I] us really sisters Mirana. I wouldn't have changed a thing." She glanced over at Max, who was standing talking quietly to Liz, oblivious to their conversation. "Thank you for sharing him," she added before turning away again.
Isabel felt a warm glow spread through her, realized that it was love. She had come to love the child turned queen, the one she had found so annoying, the person she had been slightly jealous of for so long. She did regret that she hadn't had a chance to really know her better.
But, in the end, through their love of Max, they had found kinship. They [I]were[/I] sisters.
Alex, who was standing nearby, came over and grinned at Isabel. "That was nice."
"It was," Isabel agreed, reaching out and hugging him. "I'll miss her Alex, but I can't deny that I am so excited to go home."
"You do realize that we won't be able to share a bed anymore," Alex teased. "I think we're in for some sleepless nights while we adjust princess."
Isabel sighed. "I know." She [I]was[/I] used to sleeping with Alex, never felt truly safe and complete unless he was beside her.
And, yet, there was something exciting about going back, about returning to the innocent days of teen romance. They were going to be able to go on dates and go to college together and just hang out.
She could hardly wait.
She could see that a glum expression was settling across Alex's face. He couldn't focus on the bad parts of going home! This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. It was what Jennetta was trying to make it and Isabel wasn't going to spoil it now.
She leaned forward and whispered into Alex's ear. "But think about how much fun we're going to have sneaking around."
Alex pulled back, stared at her, then started to laugh. "Why Princess Isabel! That sounded suspiciously like a proposition."
"You bet it was buster," Isabel replied, kissing him. "My window's always open."
***
Maria was dry-eyed. She had not shed a single tear since they had arrived in the Ring. Everyone else seemed to be a mess, but her eyes felt like sandpaper. She wasn't sure why this was the case, wondered if maybe her entire emotional mechanism had decided to shut down on her so that she would get through the next five minutes.
Was this what it felt like to be cleansed? Did the Dernians feel so completely detached and numb? If so, she couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to have all those feelings returned in one fell swoop after a healing. Because she knew that her downfall was coming and she was not looking forward to it one bit.
But, for now, she would stay strong. She would not allow her daughter's last memory of her to be that of a blubbering baby. It was her job to be the positive one, the optimistic one. She was the mother after all.
In the end though, that was the real problem. As much as she loved Jennetta, she wasn't really her mother. Her daughter's maturity and sense of responsibility far outweighed Maria's and it ashamed her. Because, finally, Maria was happy to be going home. She would miss her daughter - how could one not miss one's heart? - but she wasn't upset to be leaving Illyria.
Maybe that was why she was numb. Because she knew that she wasn't supposed to be happy and sad at the same time. But she was. She couldn't wait to see her mom, she couldn't wait to graduate from high school and she couldn't wait to live her life - on Earth, [I]her[/I] home.
Jennetta belonged on Illyria, Maria belonged on Earth and that was all there was to it.
It had to be harder for Michael, Maria reflected. She knew that, in spite of everything, he did feel an attachment to Illyria. He didn't particularly remember being Tristandor or living here before, but he did feel like he belonged here too. He had made the choice to return with her and the others though, had made the concerted decision to move forward as a human, and she still couldn't quite believe her luck. Playing with the engagement ring on her finger, she pondered whether being with Michael would be enough. whether maybe she [I]could[/I] stay.
But as she watched Jennetta say good-bye to the rest of her friends, as she saw her daughter come towards her for the final good-bye, she knew that she could not. She belonged with her friends just as much as she belonged with Michael. Michael belonged with them too.
They were a family, a unit, and a whole. The fact that Lucianus had told Max and Liz that it would take all of them to open the portal that would send them back to the correct time told her so. It was the final decision- maker. They were meant to go.
But dammit, wasn't it just typical that as she made her final decision, her heart cracked. The coldness she had fostered to protect herself from the pain of this parting deserted her and every single one of her feelings were laid raw as Jenny stopped in front of her and took her hands. Tears welled up in her eyes and she gasped, struggling to control them.
"This isn't good-bye Maria," Jennetta said quietly. Her dark eyes, so like Michael's, glimmered with unshed tears, but she was smiling. "You are going to get to live your life there, just like I'm going to get to live mine here. This is what is meant to be. But it doesn't mean that we won't see each other again."
"I know Isabel promised us we could dreamwalk anytime we wanted to," Maria replied, trying to smile too, but finding it impossible. "And with Liz developing that power, we'll have her too." She swallowed. "It will be fine."
She stared at her daughter, trying to memorize her beautiful face. She knew it wasn't necessary, knew that Jennetta would forever be branded on her heart, but she did it anyway.
Maria knew that Michael had come up behind her. She also knew that he wasn't even going to try and say anything. His pain was hidden, as always, behind his stonewall, but Maria knew it was there, knew that he had to remain silent or it would crumble. It was his defense mechanism and she couldn't fault him for it. She just wished her emotionless state had stayed intact too.
She was going to have to speak for both of them though.
"Jenny, we just need you to know." She trailed off, shook her head in frustration when the lump in her throat became almost impossible to talk around. "You are the best thing that ever happened to either of us."
There was nothing more to say. Jennetta threw herself at both of them and hugged them so tightly, Maria wondered if she was hoping not to have to let go.
They wouldn't ever let go though. Not really. None of them would. In spite of how weird the whole thing was, in spite of all the pain they had been through, the three of them were a family and no distance that separated them could ever truly part them.
Max's quiet voice finally drew them out of their private world. "I'm sorry guys," he said regretfully. "But it's time."
Maria pulled back, could see that the sun was indeed on the horizon. Illyria's day was ending. A new day was about to dawn on Earth - at least for the eight of them.
"We will be with you," she whispered fiercely into her daughter's ear as she hugged her one last time. She felt Michael's arms come up around them both. "Always. Whenever you need us, just call and we will come. No questions asked."
Michael spoke up at this. "And you need to promise that you [I]will[/I] call. What's the point of having Isabel otherwise?" He joked, clearly trying to hold it together.
"I'll remember. And I promise I will," Jennetta agreed. She smiled again, pulled away. "Don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine." And, as Maria watched her daughter turn her head to Ren, obviously looking for even a modicum of comfort in the glance they shared, she knew, finally, in her heart, that Jennetta would be.
Maria took Michael's hand and they moved towards their friends, who were huddled in the centre of the Ring. Liz's eyes met Maria's as they joined them, her concern and sympathy evident. Maria also saw the guilt her best friend felt and reached out to squeeze her hand. "This isn't your fault Liz. It's just what needs to be. We don't belong here."
Liz nodded. "Thanks Maria," she whispered.
"Anytime Lizzie." She moved closer, still holding Liz's hand, while maintaining her grip on Michael with the other. "But I'm not going to let go of you right now, if you don't mind. Because, if I do, I might just change my mind at the last minute." She was half-joking, but sort of wasn't at the same time.
"Is everyone ready?" Max asked when silence settled over the group.
Maria glanced over her shoulder at Jennetta. Her daughter was standing at the edge of the Ring, her hands clutched in front of her, watching them closely. She raised her arm in farewell as Maria's eyes met hers across the distance. Maria smiled, then raised her chin and turned back to the group. "Ready."
Everyone agreed. Isabel and Max moved to the centre of the loose circle the group formed, both with orbs in their hands.
"Okay," Max instructed. "Isabel and I are going to open the portal. Then we all need to hold onto each other, or someone might get lost. And [I]everyone[/I] needs to think about a very specific moment from the night of the prom. We need to make sure that we think of the same moments if some of the others are involved in ours or we could screw this up."
There was a minute of silence as everyone pondered their moment. Maria frowned. This was more difficult than she had imagined. She was trying to think of a moment where they had all been together. That would be the easiest after all - if they all just thought of the same instant. But the only time they [I]had[/I] all been together was in the gym at the school and they couldn't exactly just show up there.
"Can we make it a point [I]after[/I] I'd broken up with Vicky again?" Kyle asked, sounding a little embarrassed. Maria saw him glance at Tess, grimacing. "Don't really want to have to go through [I]that[/I] nightmare again."
"Kyle!" Tess exclaimed, not sounding particularly threatened, just annoyed. "That's mean. Vicky's nice."
"I agree beloved, but let's call a spade a spade here. The girl's not exactly Liz. It took me at least three different approaches to make her finally understand that it was over."
"Which wouldn't have happened if you weren't stupid enough to get involved with her in the first place," Tess flared back.
"Hey!" Kyle held up his hands defensively. "I've never disputed [I]that[/I] point." He grinned. "Are you telling me that you don't want me to break up with Vicky?" He looked at Alex. "Does it or does it not sound like that?" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Woohoo! A girlfriend [I]and[/I] a mistress." He managed to duck Tess's fist as he continued, "I guess you're going to have to be the mistress Tess. Being as how I was with Vicky first and all."
Maria couldn't help it. In spite of everything, she burst out laughing along with the rest of her friends. Tess's feigned outrage was simply too funny. The blonde was looking at Max, her blue eyes flashing vindictively. "We're going back to [I]before[/I] he broke up with Vicky." She held up her hands when Kyle lit up comically. "And you [I]are[/I] going to break up with her mister. I am no man's mistress."
"Crap." Kyle deflated and sighed. "Fine," he finally said, sounding long- suffering. "Why don't we just do the whole damn high school prom cheeziness over again?" He added. "I might as well get another chance to wear a crown."
When Maria looked at Max to make the decision, she noticed that she wasn't the only one doing so. Her friend looked perplexed though. "Well, I have no idea [I]what[/I] to suggest."
"I say pictures at Mom and Dad's," Isabel piped up. When they all turned to look at her, she blushed. "What can I say? I want to see them."
"I think Liz should see [I]her[/I] parents first," Maria reminded them all quietly. "And we don't [I]all[/I] have to be together. We just have to make sure anyone who was with us thinks of the same thing."
"I also think that it should be [I]after[/I] the prom," Alex suggested. "I mean, in spite of Kyle's desire to sport cheezy fake gold headwear again, do any of us really want to have to do [I]that[/I] again?"
They all agreed that they didn't.
"Okay then," Max spoke up. "Liz and I are going to her balcony after the prom." He looked at Liz for confirmation. She simply nodded. They were, as always, so in tune with each other, there was no question Max would pick the right place.
"Michael?" Maria said. "I say we go to the transformation chamber." She shifted uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at her. She shrugged. "It'll make it easier. I'll feel closer to her there." Everyone seemed to understand that, because Michael agreed.
"Fine then," Max looked at Isabel. "Izzy?"
She looked at Alex, who bowed slightly. "Your choice milady."
"Okay then," Isabel said. "Our backyard." She smiled at Alex. "We had some fun out there after we got home from the transformation chamber."
"Too much information," Max told her grimly. Maria met Liz's eyes and they both snickered.
"Pardon me," Isabel snapped. "We were stargazing."
"Oh Whitman, you stud!" Kyle crowed.
"Jeez Iz." Alex shook his head in dismay, although he didn't really look mad. He was smiling, obviously as excited to be going home as any of them. "Leave a man a little dignity."
"Can we please just [I]stop[/I] talking about this?" Max demanded.
"Righto your highness," Kyle smirked. He glanced at Tess, who was eyeing him suspiciously. He sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm going back to the john right before I left the prom."
"Charming," Michael snorted.
"Hey, what else can I do? She wants me to break poor Vicky's heart again? It's the only place I was alone."
Tess glared at him. "Kyle I do [I]not[/I] want you to break Vicky's heart again. And if you don't stop talking about Vicky Delaney then you're not going to have any reason to break up with her anyway."
"Ah, your threats warm my heart sweet Tess." Kyle grinned at her. Maria watched in amazement as Tess melted right before her eyes. "I know where I'll be then. Outside Vicky's house in my much-missed Mustang." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "And then I'll be on my way to Tess's, where I hope she'll be waiting for me."
"So everyone's decided then?" Max asked, looking around at everyone once more to confirm. They all nodded. "Okay, I suggest that we do whatever we have to do once we're back and then we meet at the Crashdown." He trailed off, grinned at Liz at that, then continued, "For breakfast. Any objections?" When everyone shook their heads, he nodded, pleased. "Here we go then."
Maria clutched both Michael and Liz's hand. She watched in fascination as Max and Isabel closed their eyes, concentrating on opening the portals. For one instant she felt a tremor of fear, remembering what Liz had told her about how opening both portals at the same time could be potentially deadly for whoever was using them. But Max had insisted that this was what Lucianus had told him to do. She wondered if, in some strange way, they [I]were[/I] all going to die by doing this.
This was going to be a new world for all of them. They would remember, but the innocents they had been at the point to which they were returning would never get their own chance to learn all the lessons they had.
She decided not to pursue that line of thought. It was just too damn complicated and it was all her in the end. She was pretty sure the girl she had been then would have no objection to what was happening. Everything they had hoped to accomplish had been completed. Jennetta was on her throne, they were all together and all was right on all the worlds they cared about.
Maria felt Michael tug her towards him just as the combined portals sprang to life, seeming to fill every part of the Ring. "One last look," he murmured against her ear. "Together." She looked in the direction in which he nodded.
And, so, as they left Illyria, their last sight was of their daughter smiling at them.
To be continued.
"Of course there's no choice," Jennetta said. She was standing near one of the floor-to-ceiling windows in her audience chamber, the late afternoon rays of Illyria's sun reflecting off her light brown hair. Michael could not stop staring at her. Since the instant he had understood that he was really going to have to leave his daughter behind this very day, he had been unable to take his eyes off her. He knew it was ridiculous, but for some reason he had the idea that if he memorized every detail of she looked like, he wouldn't miss her as much.
Ha. Like he wouldn't feel her absence as a dull ache for the rest of his life even though he knew intellectually that he would see her again. Kyle and Tess had spent many hours in the Citadel's archives compiling information about how to build their very own Ring near Roswell after they returned. But that likely wouldn't be ready for years and it wasn't like they could just keep jetting off to England at a moment's notice. They were still only teenagers after all. And if everything went according to Lucianus's promise, if they really did manage to return to a time before the Crashdown fire, then they wouldn't even have graduated from high school yet. Michael grimaced at the thought of it. The very idea of returning to the halls of West Roswell, if even for the few days it would entail, was enough to turn him off the concept of returning to Earth at all.
For one brief moment, his stomach did a little flip-flop. Could he just stay here? It was still a possibility. He had certainly considered remaining on Illyria when the others left. He knew Maria had too. But he also knew, in his heart, that it wasn't the right thing. They could not foist themselves on Jennetta like that. In spite of his words earlier that day, his daughter needed the chance to rule in her own right, needed them gone so that her authority would be unquestioned.
"It isn't just about Liz's parents either," Jennetta continued seriously. "You'll get to live the time you missed while you were here. This is a gift." She looked around the room at each of them, tears shining in her dark eyes. "You all deserve this chance, this opportunity to go back to your regular lives, to pretend none of this ever happened. I am so happy that you have it."
"We'll never forget," Max stated simply. Michael was glad that his friend had spoken for all of them. He was too choked up to even attempt to protest Jenny's guilt over all they had given up for her.
There was a long moment of quiet as everyone absorbed what this meant, absorbed the fact that they were really going back to Roswell tonight and that they were going to be able to pick their lives up exactly where they had left off.
"We'll prepare the transports to take you to the Ring tonight," Ren finally said, breaking the silence. He was standing near Jenny, his hands clasped behind his back, truly one of the group again for the first time since he had regained his emotions. It was only now that he was back in the fold, after his lengthy period of distance while he dealt with his demons, that Michael realized how much a part of things he had always been. Since he had first appeared that day in the cave, impersonating Eddie, seemingly holding all the answers but, in the end, knowing even less about their destinies than they did, he had become one of them.
Of course, his pleasure at Ren's sudden change of heart did not mean that Michael entirely trusted him. He did believe that a large part of his issue over the past months had been that he felt unworthy of Jennetta. But the fact that he had hurt Michael's daughter in even that small way.Well, he had to admit, he was wary.
Ren's epiphany did mean that she wouldn't be alone when they left though. At the very least there was that.
"I'm sorry about this," Liz was saying quietly. She was standing beside Maria, her arm around Michael's girlfriend's shoulder. Her guilt at taking Maria away from Jennetta so quickly was clearly evident. "But it really will solve so many problems. We won't have to explain what happened to me, we won't have lost any time." She shook her dark head in wonder. "We'll even get to graduate with our class."
Kyle grinned. "Aha! The real reason comes out! Liz, you want to be valedictorian, don't you?" Tess elbowed him soundly in the ribs, but he merely grunted and said, "C'mon, I'm kidding. But like she's not going to be."
"I really do appreciate this guys," Liz insisted, after rolling her eyes at Kyle's teasing. "I know it's a lot to ask."
"It isn't Lizzie," Maria told her firmly. "What happened to your parents was wrong. If we can make it so that it never did.Well, we'll all deal." Her voice faltered slightly. "We all knew this day was coming anyway."
"We still have a few hours," Max said softly, his sympathy for Maria in his voice. But when Michael managed to take his eyes off of his daughter for a moment to glance at his best friend, Max was looking at him, not Maria, his concern obvious. "I suggest we use it to say good-bye. I'm sure we all have people we'll want to thank. We'll meet at the Ring at sunset."
There was nothing else to say. The group filtered slowly out until only Michael, Maria, Ren and Jennetta remained. They all stood staring at each other like idiots for such a long moment, Michael actually almost felt the urge to laugh.
"This is ridiculous," he finally stated baldly. "I'm not going to get all weepy. We're going to see each other again." He heard his voice crack, pretended it hadn't.
He met Maria's gaze. Her blue eyes were bright with tears, but she raised her chin bravely and nodded. "I agree. We can't just sit here. We need to [I]do[/I] something."
Ren stepped forward. "I think I have just the thing, if you'll permit me to suggest it."
When they all agreed, Jennetta's future husband ushered them all out of the chamber.
Half an hour later they had arrived at their destination. Michael heard the stir when they walked in. Of course everyone knew who they were. It was still strange though. Michael felt a dull flush rise in his cheeks. He would never get used to it, especially after all the time he had spent during his early years on Earth trying to maintain a low profile (of course, Maxwell would tell him that his constant run-ins with the law in those days had not been the best way to do that, but Maxwell wasn't around, now was he?). Most of the patrons stood as they caught sight of them, bowing in Jennetta's direction, but many of them nodding their heads respectfully to him as well.
After they were seated, the proprietor practically giddy at their patronage as he took their order, Michael took Maria's hand under the table. He pretended to himself that it was to comfort her, but knew deep inside that it was more for his own benefit. Her fingers were trembling in his and he felt a flash of gratitude that he was not going to go through this alone. Maria would understand exactly how he was feeling, how he would feel once they were home. She was the only one who really could. Thank God he had her. He felt the ring he had given her pressing into the palm of his hand, its hard surface reassuring that he would never have to say good-bye to her too.
Michael returned his gaze to his daughter, who was looking around the room, keen interest on her pretty face. "I've never been in a place like this before," she told them, sounding a little gleeful if Michael was not mistaken.
"I didn't even know they had places like this here," Maria admitted. Michael could tell that she was struggling to maintain a light tone. He squeezed her hand.
"This planet has struggled for generations to dull emotion," Ren told her wryly. "Of [I]course[/I] we have places like this. I used to come here all the time with my old regiment."
Michael snorted. "You do realize the irony in the fact that we're sitting here?"
"No, what?" Ren asked.
"We can't even get into places like this back home," Michael replied, snickering a bit in spite of himself. He looked at Maria. "We're not legal."
It was true. Only on Illyria could they sit in a pub and not be carded. It was actually funny. He could feel the amusement bubbling up within him, knew that it was mixed with an unhealthy dose of hysteria. Good Lord! He was either about to start cackling like a maniac or bawling like a baby.
Fortunately Maria seemed to notice because she picked up on his lead and added, "Not to mention the other pertinent fact."
Michael cleared his throat, played along. Let them all pretend that nothing was wrong. It was the best way to get through it. "And that would be?"
"The fact that Czechoslovakians and Earthly alcohol don't mix." She smacked him lightly. "I mean, duh!"
"What do you mean?" Jenny asked eagerly, obviously getting into the spirit of trying to pretend they weren't all counting down the hours.
"Oh do I have a story for you two," Maria laughed. "It was all Kyle's fault of course."
In the end, it actually worked. Michael and Maria spent the few hours they had left with their daughter trying to one-up each other with funny stories about their friends and even themselves. Since returning to Illyria they hadn't had any time to just sit around and talk and Michael wondered how he hadn't realized it earlier. Their daughter [I]needed[/I] this, needed to know them.
He would have to thank Ren before they left. For his part, his future son- in-law simply sat back and listened, not interfering, letting them spend every precious moment sharing as much of themselves as they could. Michael couldn't ever remember talking as much in his life, actually felt like maybe he could do it - maybe it would be enough.
But when it was finally time to leave, as he watched Jennetta stand in her graceful way, watched her stop on her way to the pub's door to speak to an elderly man who had beckoned her over, he felt the lump return to his throat.
It would never be enough.
He was going to miss her until his dying day.
***
Liz clutched Max's hand. She didn't even realize she was shaking nervously until he brought his arm up and pulled her more closely against him, stroking her arm soothingly.
They had been the first to arrive in the Ring and, now, as their friends gradually filtered in she could feel her jitters increasing exponentially.
What if it didn't happen? What if she tore her friends away from Illyria before it was time, on the slimmest of hopes that her parents could be saved, and it didn't happen? As she watched Michael and Maria make their way slowly towards them, the last to arrive, she felt a pang of guilt at the sight of Jennetta firmly ensconced between them, as though they couldn't bear to let go of her for even a second.
"Liz, you have to stop feeling bad about this," Max told her firmly. As usual, he was completely in tune with her emotions. It embarrassed her that he knew what she was thinking. Her friends were giving her such a gift and she felt so bad about it, she couldn't even accept it gracefully. What was wrong with her?
Max turned her gently so that she was facing him. He raised her chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "Why do you think everyone wants to do this for you Liz? It's because you do feel bad about it. You always put everyone else first. This time we want you to be first. You deserve this. You risked everything to come here all alone, your only thought to protect every single one of us. You have to give everyone the chance to thank you - and this is how we want to do it."
For a moment she was perplexed. He had absolutely read her mind that time. The intensity and depth of their bond continued to amaze her and, yet, as always, he also managed to make her feel better. Since she didn't know what else to say, she simply said, "I hope you know how much I love you."
"If it's half as much as I love you than I am more lucky than I deserve," Max replied, leaning down and dropping a kiss on the tip of her nose.
"So the troops are assembled," Kyle stated. He and Tess had come over to join them, both looking almost as nervous as Liz felt. "Isabel's planning to send the changed humans first. Those who want to go that is. They're going back to England, through the Ring there. None of them belong in Roswell."
Liz looked over in the direction Kyle was nodding. Isabel was standing in the centre of the Ring, an orb in her hand, talking to Alex. Her boyfriend then turned away and relayed something to Jemma, who was obviously in charge of the returning humans. There weren't many of them at all, really only a handful. The fact that so many of those they had brought with them had chosen to stay.It only emphasized once again how alike Illyrians, Dernians and humans really were, as long as they made an attempt to understand each other.
"What did you guys do for the rest of the afternoon?" Liz asked, curious about to where Kyle and Tess had disappeared.
"Hamor took us to where Sabrya and Tristandor grew up. It was a manor house in Dernia," Tess explained, looking a little sad. "I'd never seen it. My mother's ashes were scattered there." She paused, then added quietly, "I.I made a little monument for Danala there too. In spite of everything, she was my sister. Now that everything's finally ending." She trailed off uncertainly.
"I can understand that," Liz told her gently. "You needed to make your peace with her."
Tess shrugged. "I guess so." She shook her blonde head slightly, as though to throw off her regrets. "What did you guys do?"
"Sort of the same thing," Max told her, sounding a bit grim. "But not nearly as pleasant. Liz came with me when I went to visit my mother again. Isabel did too."
"I take it from your tone that it didn't go well," Tess replied sympathetically.
Max sighed. "It was fine. We were all perfectly polite, but I finally realized something important. In my heart, she's just not my mother. I'm not angry at her anymore because, at the end of the day, I just don't care enough. My real mom is back on Earth. I can't wait to actually see her and tell her so."
"Well, I guess that's good," Tess said, glancing at Liz. She simply shrugged. She knew that it was really how Max felt. His anger [I]was[/I] gone. All he felt for Milena now was an ambivalence that probably hurt her more than his rage ever could. Liz actually felt sorry for the woman.
The sheer irony of the situation was that Isabel was much more ready to forgive her. Because, even after everything, Isabel did still care. She was secure now that Milena could never hurt her again, was content with accepting Diane Evans fully as her mother, but she would also always reserve a small place in her heart for the woman who had given her birth twice. Her ice queen façade was now truly shot, Liz reflected wryly. She had proven that afternoon that her ability to forgive was second to none.
Tess caught Liz's attention again when she heaved a small sigh. Looking at her, Liz could see that she was biting her lip as she stared at Michael, Maria and Jennetta. "I wonder how they're doing?"
"I'm betting not good." Liz sighed when she felt the stabbing guilt again, in spite of what Max had said. "I hope this is worth it."
"It will be," Kyle told her firmly. "This is the best thing for everyone Liz."
They all stood quietly for a moment after that, watching as Isabel opened the portal across the way. The sight never failed to amaze Liz, no matter how many times she saw it. Because of the power that her friend managed to pull out of that little orb - truly the ability to travel across the universe - they had suffered untold tragedy and heartache over the past three years and, yet, in the end, Liz would never tire of the simple miracle that they had all found each other in spite of the odds. That was what opening the portal represented to her every single time.
She felt Max's hand gently cradling the small of her back. She could sense his emotions, as always, and knew that he felt the same way.
When the changed humans had all disappeared, Isabel allowed the portal to close. Their path home would be different. Lucianus had explained the gist of it to she and Max when he had offered them the chance. The hardest part was yet to come.
"It's time," Max said quietly.
They all met in the centre of the Ring, the flurry of good-byes beginning almost immediately. Several of the more important people they had met over the course of their three year odyssey had joined them, as sad to see them go as they were finding it difficult to leave.
Max moved away from Liz briefly to say good-bye to the other Jaxon. The young shapeshifter was more than coming into his own, already having been promoted to a captain of the Royal Guard. He was firmly dedicated to the new queen, but Liz smiled when, much to Max's embarrassment, he insisted on going down on one knee and bowing his head to his former king. She suspected that, in spite of his abdication, King Jaxon would always be first in his namesake's heart.
Tess hugged Hamor, having gotten to know him better than anyone else over the course of her time on the planet. Liz knew that her friend viewed the old general as something of a grandfather now and that she would miss him immensely. It was unlikely that any of them would see the loyal man again either. He was more weary every day, clearly nearing the end of his lengthy life.
Ironically, Kyle had ended up becoming very good friends with Captain Lorn, his nemesis from his first days on Illyria. They shared a similar sense of humour and a keen enjoyment of the game of one-up-manship that had continued to play out over the months of their acquaintance. As Liz watched her friend shake hands with the Illyrian, she reflected that it actually didn't surprise her very much. Kyle always started off every worthwhile friendship antagonistically. Even he and Tess had spent more time teasing each other than anything else in the early days of their relationship.
Liz wished Jemma a fond farewell, glad that she had had time to get to know the feisty Illyrian. The woman had been able to tell her many stories about her grandmother, filling in the details Andrina/Claudia had left out of her journal. She had also lightened up considerably since she had returned to her home planet, simply grateful and content to be back to the place she had missed with all her heart.
Michael spent a few long moments speaking to Jemma privately as well. Liz suspected that he was giving his fellow warrior last minute instructions about keeping an eye on Jennetta. In spite of their early arguments, Jemma and Michael really did understand each other very well most of the time.
They all hugged Ren, Maria particularly hard, having shared many adventures with the shapeshifter, even before her daughter's birth. Even had she not come to love him for himself, Maria would always be grateful for the fact that it was Ren who had saved Jenny from Nasedo at the very beginning, when she was still just a baby. While they all knew by now that it had been his destiny to do so - that she had been meant for him even then - it didn't negate the fact that Michael and Maria would never have remembered, nor known, their daughter without Ren.
And, then, finally, it was time to say good-bye to Jenny.
Liz had noticed the young queen standing slightly apart through the farewells, watching and waiting for her turn. But when the time came, no one quite knew how to start. They all stood awkwardly. Liz realized that she was avoiding meeting anyone's eyes, just as she was avoiding hers, because if their gazes met, some of them - if not all - would completely lose it and break down.
As always, in the end, it was Max who stepped in to ease the moment. He moved toward the woman he would always regard as his little sister and held out his arms. She flew into them, all queenly poise forgotten. "Good-bye Jaxon."
"I'll miss you sweeting," Max told her gently, hugging her close, his hand raised to cup the back of her neck. Liz felt a lump enter her throat. She could feel Max's sorrow, but it was also combined with a healthy quantity of pride, which was reflected in his next words. "But I am so proud of you. You are doing this job so much better than I ever could have."
"Don't be silly," Jenny scoffed. "I learned everything I know from you. I love you."
"I love you too," Max replied, his voice breaking slightly as he hugged her close again.
It was one of the most charming things about Jennetta, Liz reflected. Her ability to love so completely and so openly were the exact reasons that she was the Chosen One. She had been born to show the Illyrians and Dernians, and even the eight people in the universe closest to her, exactly how love could bind people together forever.
They would stay connected to this girl, no matter the distance that separated them. And as Jennetta stopped in front of Liz, so much taller that she was forced to bend down to hug her, Liz whispered exactly that to her nominal niece. "We'll see you soon Jenny. In your dreams."
"I know it," Jennetta replied, stepping back and meeting her eyes. "Be happy Liz. You deserve it."
"You too sweetie."
Liz moved away, went to stand beside Max. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. She turned her face towards him and smiled through her tears. Somehow that short moment with Jennetta had eradicated all her nerves. All she wanted now was to go home. Home to her parents, home to her boring life in Roswell, home to the beginning of her extraordinary life with Max.
She could hardly wait for it to go back so that it could all begin.
***
Isabel was the last one to hug Jennetta before the queen went to join Michael and Maria again for one final good-bye. As Jenny started to walk away, Isabel called after her.
"I'm sorry Jennetta."
Jenny turned, obviously perplexed. "For what Isabel?"
"I'm sorry we weren't really sisters," Isabel blurted out. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you sometimes."
Jennetta smiled, her eyes twinkling. "That's what [I]made[/I] us really sisters Mirana. I wouldn't have changed a thing." She glanced over at Max, who was standing talking quietly to Liz, oblivious to their conversation. "Thank you for sharing him," she added before turning away again.
Isabel felt a warm glow spread through her, realized that it was love. She had come to love the child turned queen, the one she had found so annoying, the person she had been slightly jealous of for so long. She did regret that she hadn't had a chance to really know her better.
But, in the end, through their love of Max, they had found kinship. They [I]were[/I] sisters.
Alex, who was standing nearby, came over and grinned at Isabel. "That was nice."
"It was," Isabel agreed, reaching out and hugging him. "I'll miss her Alex, but I can't deny that I am so excited to go home."
"You do realize that we won't be able to share a bed anymore," Alex teased. "I think we're in for some sleepless nights while we adjust princess."
Isabel sighed. "I know." She [I]was[/I] used to sleeping with Alex, never felt truly safe and complete unless he was beside her.
And, yet, there was something exciting about going back, about returning to the innocent days of teen romance. They were going to be able to go on dates and go to college together and just hang out.
She could hardly wait.
She could see that a glum expression was settling across Alex's face. He couldn't focus on the bad parts of going home! This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. It was what Jennetta was trying to make it and Isabel wasn't going to spoil it now.
She leaned forward and whispered into Alex's ear. "But think about how much fun we're going to have sneaking around."
Alex pulled back, stared at her, then started to laugh. "Why Princess Isabel! That sounded suspiciously like a proposition."
"You bet it was buster," Isabel replied, kissing him. "My window's always open."
***
Maria was dry-eyed. She had not shed a single tear since they had arrived in the Ring. Everyone else seemed to be a mess, but her eyes felt like sandpaper. She wasn't sure why this was the case, wondered if maybe her entire emotional mechanism had decided to shut down on her so that she would get through the next five minutes.
Was this what it felt like to be cleansed? Did the Dernians feel so completely detached and numb? If so, she couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to have all those feelings returned in one fell swoop after a healing. Because she knew that her downfall was coming and she was not looking forward to it one bit.
But, for now, she would stay strong. She would not allow her daughter's last memory of her to be that of a blubbering baby. It was her job to be the positive one, the optimistic one. She was the mother after all.
In the end though, that was the real problem. As much as she loved Jennetta, she wasn't really her mother. Her daughter's maturity and sense of responsibility far outweighed Maria's and it ashamed her. Because, finally, Maria was happy to be going home. She would miss her daughter - how could one not miss one's heart? - but she wasn't upset to be leaving Illyria.
Maybe that was why she was numb. Because she knew that she wasn't supposed to be happy and sad at the same time. But she was. She couldn't wait to see her mom, she couldn't wait to graduate from high school and she couldn't wait to live her life - on Earth, [I]her[/I] home.
Jennetta belonged on Illyria, Maria belonged on Earth and that was all there was to it.
It had to be harder for Michael, Maria reflected. She knew that, in spite of everything, he did feel an attachment to Illyria. He didn't particularly remember being Tristandor or living here before, but he did feel like he belonged here too. He had made the choice to return with her and the others though, had made the concerted decision to move forward as a human, and she still couldn't quite believe her luck. Playing with the engagement ring on her finger, she pondered whether being with Michael would be enough. whether maybe she [I]could[/I] stay.
But as she watched Jennetta say good-bye to the rest of her friends, as she saw her daughter come towards her for the final good-bye, she knew that she could not. She belonged with her friends just as much as she belonged with Michael. Michael belonged with them too.
They were a family, a unit, and a whole. The fact that Lucianus had told Max and Liz that it would take all of them to open the portal that would send them back to the correct time told her so. It was the final decision- maker. They were meant to go.
But dammit, wasn't it just typical that as she made her final decision, her heart cracked. The coldness she had fostered to protect herself from the pain of this parting deserted her and every single one of her feelings were laid raw as Jenny stopped in front of her and took her hands. Tears welled up in her eyes and she gasped, struggling to control them.
"This isn't good-bye Maria," Jennetta said quietly. Her dark eyes, so like Michael's, glimmered with unshed tears, but she was smiling. "You are going to get to live your life there, just like I'm going to get to live mine here. This is what is meant to be. But it doesn't mean that we won't see each other again."
"I know Isabel promised us we could dreamwalk anytime we wanted to," Maria replied, trying to smile too, but finding it impossible. "And with Liz developing that power, we'll have her too." She swallowed. "It will be fine."
She stared at her daughter, trying to memorize her beautiful face. She knew it wasn't necessary, knew that Jennetta would forever be branded on her heart, but she did it anyway.
Maria knew that Michael had come up behind her. She also knew that he wasn't even going to try and say anything. His pain was hidden, as always, behind his stonewall, but Maria knew it was there, knew that he had to remain silent or it would crumble. It was his defense mechanism and she couldn't fault him for it. She just wished her emotionless state had stayed intact too.
She was going to have to speak for both of them though.
"Jenny, we just need you to know." She trailed off, shook her head in frustration when the lump in her throat became almost impossible to talk around. "You are the best thing that ever happened to either of us."
There was nothing more to say. Jennetta threw herself at both of them and hugged them so tightly, Maria wondered if she was hoping not to have to let go.
They wouldn't ever let go though. Not really. None of them would. In spite of how weird the whole thing was, in spite of all the pain they had been through, the three of them were a family and no distance that separated them could ever truly part them.
Max's quiet voice finally drew them out of their private world. "I'm sorry guys," he said regretfully. "But it's time."
Maria pulled back, could see that the sun was indeed on the horizon. Illyria's day was ending. A new day was about to dawn on Earth - at least for the eight of them.
"We will be with you," she whispered fiercely into her daughter's ear as she hugged her one last time. She felt Michael's arms come up around them both. "Always. Whenever you need us, just call and we will come. No questions asked."
Michael spoke up at this. "And you need to promise that you [I]will[/I] call. What's the point of having Isabel otherwise?" He joked, clearly trying to hold it together.
"I'll remember. And I promise I will," Jennetta agreed. She smiled again, pulled away. "Don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine." And, as Maria watched her daughter turn her head to Ren, obviously looking for even a modicum of comfort in the glance they shared, she knew, finally, in her heart, that Jennetta would be.
Maria took Michael's hand and they moved towards their friends, who were huddled in the centre of the Ring. Liz's eyes met Maria's as they joined them, her concern and sympathy evident. Maria also saw the guilt her best friend felt and reached out to squeeze her hand. "This isn't your fault Liz. It's just what needs to be. We don't belong here."
Liz nodded. "Thanks Maria," she whispered.
"Anytime Lizzie." She moved closer, still holding Liz's hand, while maintaining her grip on Michael with the other. "But I'm not going to let go of you right now, if you don't mind. Because, if I do, I might just change my mind at the last minute." She was half-joking, but sort of wasn't at the same time.
"Is everyone ready?" Max asked when silence settled over the group.
Maria glanced over her shoulder at Jennetta. Her daughter was standing at the edge of the Ring, her hands clutched in front of her, watching them closely. She raised her arm in farewell as Maria's eyes met hers across the distance. Maria smiled, then raised her chin and turned back to the group. "Ready."
Everyone agreed. Isabel and Max moved to the centre of the loose circle the group formed, both with orbs in their hands.
"Okay," Max instructed. "Isabel and I are going to open the portal. Then we all need to hold onto each other, or someone might get lost. And [I]everyone[/I] needs to think about a very specific moment from the night of the prom. We need to make sure that we think of the same moments if some of the others are involved in ours or we could screw this up."
There was a minute of silence as everyone pondered their moment. Maria frowned. This was more difficult than she had imagined. She was trying to think of a moment where they had all been together. That would be the easiest after all - if they all just thought of the same instant. But the only time they [I]had[/I] all been together was in the gym at the school and they couldn't exactly just show up there.
"Can we make it a point [I]after[/I] I'd broken up with Vicky again?" Kyle asked, sounding a little embarrassed. Maria saw him glance at Tess, grimacing. "Don't really want to have to go through [I]that[/I] nightmare again."
"Kyle!" Tess exclaimed, not sounding particularly threatened, just annoyed. "That's mean. Vicky's nice."
"I agree beloved, but let's call a spade a spade here. The girl's not exactly Liz. It took me at least three different approaches to make her finally understand that it was over."
"Which wouldn't have happened if you weren't stupid enough to get involved with her in the first place," Tess flared back.
"Hey!" Kyle held up his hands defensively. "I've never disputed [I]that[/I] point." He grinned. "Are you telling me that you don't want me to break up with Vicky?" He looked at Alex. "Does it or does it not sound like that?" He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Woohoo! A girlfriend [I]and[/I] a mistress." He managed to duck Tess's fist as he continued, "I guess you're going to have to be the mistress Tess. Being as how I was with Vicky first and all."
Maria couldn't help it. In spite of everything, she burst out laughing along with the rest of her friends. Tess's feigned outrage was simply too funny. The blonde was looking at Max, her blue eyes flashing vindictively. "We're going back to [I]before[/I] he broke up with Vicky." She held up her hands when Kyle lit up comically. "And you [I]are[/I] going to break up with her mister. I am no man's mistress."
"Crap." Kyle deflated and sighed. "Fine," he finally said, sounding long- suffering. "Why don't we just do the whole damn high school prom cheeziness over again?" He added. "I might as well get another chance to wear a crown."
When Maria looked at Max to make the decision, she noticed that she wasn't the only one doing so. Her friend looked perplexed though. "Well, I have no idea [I]what[/I] to suggest."
"I say pictures at Mom and Dad's," Isabel piped up. When they all turned to look at her, she blushed. "What can I say? I want to see them."
"I think Liz should see [I]her[/I] parents first," Maria reminded them all quietly. "And we don't [I]all[/I] have to be together. We just have to make sure anyone who was with us thinks of the same thing."
"I also think that it should be [I]after[/I] the prom," Alex suggested. "I mean, in spite of Kyle's desire to sport cheezy fake gold headwear again, do any of us really want to have to do [I]that[/I] again?"
They all agreed that they didn't.
"Okay then," Max spoke up. "Liz and I are going to her balcony after the prom." He looked at Liz for confirmation. She simply nodded. They were, as always, so in tune with each other, there was no question Max would pick the right place.
"Michael?" Maria said. "I say we go to the transformation chamber." She shifted uncomfortably when everyone turned to stare at her. She shrugged. "It'll make it easier. I'll feel closer to her there." Everyone seemed to understand that, because Michael agreed.
"Fine then," Max looked at Isabel. "Izzy?"
She looked at Alex, who bowed slightly. "Your choice milady."
"Okay then," Isabel said. "Our backyard." She smiled at Alex. "We had some fun out there after we got home from the transformation chamber."
"Too much information," Max told her grimly. Maria met Liz's eyes and they both snickered.
"Pardon me," Isabel snapped. "We were stargazing."
"Oh Whitman, you stud!" Kyle crowed.
"Jeez Iz." Alex shook his head in dismay, although he didn't really look mad. He was smiling, obviously as excited to be going home as any of them. "Leave a man a little dignity."
"Can we please just [I]stop[/I] talking about this?" Max demanded.
"Righto your highness," Kyle smirked. He glanced at Tess, who was eyeing him suspiciously. He sighed. "Okay, fine. I'm going back to the john right before I left the prom."
"Charming," Michael snorted.
"Hey, what else can I do? She wants me to break poor Vicky's heart again? It's the only place I was alone."
Tess glared at him. "Kyle I do [I]not[/I] want you to break Vicky's heart again. And if you don't stop talking about Vicky Delaney then you're not going to have any reason to break up with her anyway."
"Ah, your threats warm my heart sweet Tess." Kyle grinned at her. Maria watched in amazement as Tess melted right before her eyes. "I know where I'll be then. Outside Vicky's house in my much-missed Mustang." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "And then I'll be on my way to Tess's, where I hope she'll be waiting for me."
"So everyone's decided then?" Max asked, looking around at everyone once more to confirm. They all nodded. "Okay, I suggest that we do whatever we have to do once we're back and then we meet at the Crashdown." He trailed off, grinned at Liz at that, then continued, "For breakfast. Any objections?" When everyone shook their heads, he nodded, pleased. "Here we go then."
Maria clutched both Michael and Liz's hand. She watched in fascination as Max and Isabel closed their eyes, concentrating on opening the portals. For one instant she felt a tremor of fear, remembering what Liz had told her about how opening both portals at the same time could be potentially deadly for whoever was using them. But Max had insisted that this was what Lucianus had told him to do. She wondered if, in some strange way, they [I]were[/I] all going to die by doing this.
This was going to be a new world for all of them. They would remember, but the innocents they had been at the point to which they were returning would never get their own chance to learn all the lessons they had.
She decided not to pursue that line of thought. It was just too damn complicated and it was all her in the end. She was pretty sure the girl she had been then would have no objection to what was happening. Everything they had hoped to accomplish had been completed. Jennetta was on her throne, they were all together and all was right on all the worlds they cared about.
Maria felt Michael tug her towards him just as the combined portals sprang to life, seeming to fill every part of the Ring. "One last look," he murmured against her ear. "Together." She looked in the direction in which he nodded.
And, so, as they left Illyria, their last sight was of their daughter smiling at them.
To be continued.
