Somehow, the disclaimers are still sticking into my butt...

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Part 5

Every branch of those dead, spidery trees were teeming with bats. I stared up straight ahead, knowing the real start of the journey lay afoot. Eerie mists were swarming and feral sounds were heard in this darkness Ningens call night, and I could feel the evil chi so strongly here, as we drew closer to the foot of the mountain.

"I can't see." Yusuke mumbled softly.

Stupid Ningen eyes thought I, trudging forward, muttering, "Well I can."

Yusuke's chi charged up, "Would you please stop being so-"

A movement.

We both turned around. Yusuke's eyes wandered around anxiously, I knew he would not be able to perceive anything. I grew impatient, "Use your stupid ears, Urameshi!"

I had said it at the exact moment. Youkais flew down from above the misty clouds and darted straight towards us. Yusuke had heard them, and sent the first youkai smack into the wall with an intense kick to the head.

I had taken my katana then, and had done a great deal of slicing the others down. The rotten smell of carnage wafted into my sensitive nose. I did not cringe. I was too used to them.

Enough time wasted. I wanted to find Kurama.

"Thanks, Hiei." Yusuke said slowly watching me as I started my pace up the mountain. I didn't turn around, but acknowledged him. "Hn."

I heard Yusuke follow. His chi was stronger, more confident now. I gripped the handle of my katana tighter as I ventured into the darkness.

I am coming to save you, Kurama.

---

He shoved the redhead onto the wall. Kurama could feel blood seeping out from the back of his head. He squinted in pain, clawing Karasu on his arms; "You won't get away with this..."

A cackle, "Is that so, my little fox? We'll just see. At this very moment your two precious friends are running here with no fucking clue in their heads. They don't know how strong I've become."

"You don't know how much they've trained, either."

"Oh but I do. I've been watching them under the shadows, waiting, leering, and learning. I've been planning on this for such a long time now."

Green eyes flickered, the fox kept silent.

Karasu's bony fingers traced his cheek. "Afraid, my little fox?" His body leaned closer towards the redhead, pressing him against the wall. Kurama did his best to keep him away, but failed miserably. His head screamed with pain and his naked, wounded body wouldn't obey him. He was caught and vulnerable.

Kurama closed his eyes, "No, Karasu. I am not."

The purple-eyed demon watched his bare captive in fascination. He was so beautiful. So perfect. Good enough to eat. Karasu licked his lips, his crotch was aching, yearning to be inside him again. But that's just got to wait.

"Well you should be afraid, my fox," Grinned the taller, paler youkai. In a flash he took out a knife from his hidden pocket. The blade was polished, and gleaming, and the evil youkai thrust it into Kurama's thigh. Sharp, piercing pain bolted out of that wound, blood gushed out and trailed down his leg. The redhead gasped, opening his eyes wide, hands clenched onto Karasu. He was trembling.

Karasu grinned. "See? You really should be." He twisted the knife roughly.

Kurama's view grew dim and began to fade. He muttered, holding on to his enemy tightly, "Why...?"

Cold eyes stared back at him. A tear trickled down Kurama's cheek, and he collapsed to the ground, head lolling above his shoulder, breathing short and shallow.

Karasu's smirk widened.

So beautiful.

----

My treading stopped abruptly. I took out my katana; the metallic sound of the blade like music to my ears. I had left the youkais' blood to stain my blade. But I didn't care anymore.

I miss Kurama. I want him back.

"The entrance." I said, intensely. My eyes scanned the mouth of a dark, dreary-looking cave. Night was at its peak. The breeze was calm but deadly dry, and I took a deep breath. But before I could take a step forward, I felt something. Someone was here. I stood rooted to where I was. Yusuke held his breath. He felt it too.

"Dun-dun-dun-dun!" Dramatized a cheeky voice from above. Yusuke and I turned around immediately. My eyes trailed up to a large, fruitless tree. There was a shadow sitting on a strong, scabrous branch. He chuckled, amused; and summer-saulted down gracefully. The bats surrounding him flew away in alarm.

"Welcome to my humble abode." He said, bowing.

"Fuck off, we didn't come here for you." Yusuke said lowly.

The mysterious youkai looked genuinely taken aback. "Ouch! You've hurt me." He pressed his palm against his chest. Yusuke rolled his eyes, "You're a good actor. Now fuck off."

Kaekete's expression changed.

"No," He said, his green eyes glimmering, and suddenly, the strange youkai began glowing in shimmering white. His trenchcoat was blemish-less, the color of snow, and I could sense his chi rising. He held his arms on either side of him, in a welcoming position. "I am Kaekete." He said, his voice odd, echoing, whispering.

"I am here to destroy you."

The darkness disappeared as our enemy continued shimmering. I squinted my eyes and took a step forward. But then Yusuke's hand came to my shoulder. "I'll deal with this one. Go get Kurama."

I hesitated, then glanced at him. This Kaekete sounded very strong, but I knew Yusuke was even more powerful. So I nodded, wordlessly, and began running into the mouth of the cave. I could hear Yusuke's 'rei-gun' and I could sense their battling chi. As I ran deeper and deeper I wondered if Yusuke would be fine.

And I wondered if Kurama was still alive.

After an endlessness of trails I found myself inside a large, sphere-ish cavern. Stalactites and stalagmites were aimlessly growing about, and as I slowed my pace my boots splashed upon some puddles of clear, blue water. The splashes made echoing noises, even to the far rock ceiling. I scanned the whole area.

My eyes stopped dead at a seemingly lifeless body strewn at the middle of the cave, shackles and spikes spread around him. My heart stopped dead. It was a redhead in ragged Ningen clothes.

"Kurama?" I whispered, trudging on towards him. My pace grew quicker until I was close enough to drop down to my knees. I took a long glance at him.

He was wounded everywhere. His head, his face, arms, neck. His clothing was soaked in blood, and it seemed as if he had a large wound on his left thigh.

My heart grew heavy. I could not bare the sight of him, the pain he must be going through. I wished terribly it was me who was wounded. I hoped angrily I could accomplish his revenge. He did not deserve to hurt like this. If someone deserved this, it would be me.

I clenched my fists.

'Plick.'

A strange sound. It was my tear, which had hardened and fallen to the ground.

The Koorime tear. The precious gem. I gently picked it up and placed it inside his cold palm. My crimson eyes looked up at his face.

Was he dead?

"Kurama... Wake up... please..." I whispered, my eyes brimming with more tears. I lowered my head. My mind began to swirl. Dark thoughts crept into my head. My heart felt heavy.

I thought about how my life would go on without him. I thought of how melancholy it would seem when I'd continue helping Yusuke without Kurama. I thought how I would travel to the Makai, silent and alone. I imagined what his mother would think of this dreadful news. I thought about how the others would cope without him.

How I would cope without him.

I wondered who I would be without him.

I wondered what I would think, standing in front of his grave.

This wasn't like me, to think about these things, to hurt at such thoughts. But who ever really mastered emotion?

I thought I had, and I was wrong.

Kurama could make me lose my grip. I knew it now. If Kurama died, I would even consider kill myself.

I suddenly felt so empty. So frosted. So dead. As if all purpose in life just vanished. I choked back a sob. He couldn't be dead. I looked up at his pale face again.

He was so beautiful. I was about to mourn.

Then his wonderful green eyes fluttered open.

I widened my eyes. "Kurama!"

Breath was given back to me. Relief was wonderful. For the first time in my life I wanted to hug someone and keep him there. This emotion was overwhelming. Koorime tears were toppling down to the muddy ground. I hesitated for a moment and wondered what he would think.

But maybe this embrace will serve as my apology, for acting so crudely towards him before. He needs it, I said to myself.

But I knew I needed it even more.

I took a deep breath...

Leaned upon him gently, and put my arms around him...

I hadn't done this before. This was a very special moment for me. It felt so strange to be so close to him. To someone, for that matter. Being able to feel his warmth, to hear his heartbeat. To sense his inhales. It felt so good. Simply walking on air. It was a sensation I never felt before. I was such a subject for this emotion.

Then I heard him laugh. My eyes shot open. I took myself back and watched him. His eyes were gleaming, like never before. It oozed with cruelness and it cut through my heart. It was one of my greatest fears- being mocked for something I was awkward at.

I didn't expect this from him.

"Kurama?" I questioned, trying my best to hide my hurt with my confusion. He was looking at me indifferently; I couldn't understand it. I looked hard into those amazing green eyes. Nothing. As if he didn't see me.

"What's wrong with you?" I said, barely above a whisper.

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?" He said menacingly. "I've finally understood myself. The question is, what's wrong with you?"

I bit my lip. I know this isn't Kurama. This couldn't be the Kurama I know.

I was stuttering, "I... I thought... I thought you..."

Kurama smirked, "Died? Hah! You are a fool."

That was like a whip to my heart. But I overlooked it. There was something obviously wrong with him. My mind reeled with theories. But neither potion nor a form of magic could affect a strong youko to spout venomous lies.

So were they lies?

No. I won't accept it. These must be lies. He isn't like this. I growled out, got to my feet and glared at the walls. "What have you done to the kitsune, Karasu?!"

My harsh voice echoed inside the cavern dome. But I heard no answer. Nothing crept out from the dark. Not even a single shadow aside from ours. I sighed, and turned back to Kurama. I wished terribly that all this was just a dream. A nightmare.

But this harshness was real. This was no deception. Deep inside, I know this was still Kurama.

His sneer was demonic and angry. He was furious at me. "What has he done to me? Do you want to know? He raped me, you fool! He raped me and it's all your fault!"

I couldn't comprehend it right away. And when I did, it gave a bolt of shock down my body. And then I felt the immediate anger. How could he accuse me of all people, his savior?

"Why is it my fault!?"

"Because you're a sick bastard and you know it. You. hate. me. ADMIT IT!" I opened my mouth to speak, in outrage, but he didn't give me a chance. He began rambling.

" I've realized you hate me. I've always suspected it. But I've never admitted it because I had feelings for you. Well thank God I've been raped and tortured and shamed because now my eyes have been opened!"

I stood silent until he ceased, breathing hastily as if his heart couldn't keep up with his cruel mouth. I looked at him, the words sinking in and the silence crushing us. There was no sign of conflict within him. He wasn't lying. He meant it all. I did not show my pain.

I ignored his accusation.

The truth was, I wanted to fight him. I wanted to defend myself. After all, I would never want to hurt him. I did not give him this pain. I am even trying to save him! How could he think of me this way?

Maybe Karasu really did something to him.

But I knew the youko was much stronger than all forms of deceiving potions.

Then why?!

I looked down to my own shoes, grubby and muddy as I have traveled a long way.

"I've come to save you... Kurama."

"You're a bit too late, don't you think?" he snapped, keeping his gaze at me. Pain and guilt and anger were weighing my heart. I swallowed, and formed my hands into fists. Kneeling down before him, I slowed my speech so that I could control my emotions. My frustration.

"I didn't mean to be..." I said to him, "Kurama, this is Karasu's fault! This isn't mine! Why would I do this? What reason could I possibly-"

His hand came swiftly and hit my cheek. A tingling sensation crept up to it. I heard another koorime tear falling to the ground. I faintly hoped he did not hear it. It seemed as if he didn't.

"Don't point fingers!" He growled at me. "Don't deny it any longer. I know why Karasu has done this so I would know whose fault it is."

That was when I noticed the pain in his eyes. The horror, the fear, and the agony he must have been going through.. Oh God. It is my fault.

No wound could compare to the guilt inside my heart, the heat behind my eyes and the swelling in my throat. I took a deep breath, and tried my best to stay calm.

"I... I don't understand... Kurama... Why didn't you fight back..?"

He closed his eyes, eyebrows knotted, as if he was remembering something. He began shaking his head. "I tried... I tried so hard... Hiei." I tried to place a hand on his dirty, wounded cheek, but he pulled away and opened his eyes. The eyes were filled with new-found hate and determination. "But you just had to help him." He told me, tears streaming down his face.

The world around us stop moving for ever the slightest second.

"I didn't help him!" Of course I didn't! "Kurama what do you think of me? A back stabbing horror?"

He laughed. "I think of you as far worse things right now... Do you know how Karasu came to me?"

I shook my head silently. I wondered where he was getting at. The next thing he told me gave me another stab of guilt.

"He told me it was through the window you opened in the hospital."

Silence. I couldn't speak.

I remembered.

I knew.

"Is this correct?" He asked me, as if he himself had been denying it... He had been denying it. I swallowed, and my croaky voice could not speak. The silence screamed yes for itself.

I thought I could explain, that I hadn't meant to be so careless and so fucking clueless, but he continued talking; he didn't want to hear my excuse. I think he felt I didn't deserve it.

"—You know why I was so distracted and got hurt in the accident? Because I remembered what you said that day and it pained me so much... You've always hurt me... I cried because of you and now I am tortured and molested and fucking dying because of you."

I shook my head. No. He knows I did not mean those things I did. I wanted to shut my ears down. These horrible accusations were too much...

"I didn't mean those things. How can you be so irrational?"

"How can I not be?! Look at me! Do you think I'm enjoying this? Well for your information I feel lower than scum, Hiei, because of the koorime that ignored me and yet I stuck with for so long. I waited and waited for him and look what happened! I loathe him to my grave."

Then, no sound.

The steadying silence allowed me to think. I sealed my emotions in, and stood up. I could not think of anything to say. My mind was blank in shock and confusion. And Kurama. Let's get out of here."

I began to reach for him, but he pushed me away. I tried again without minding his resistance. I was trying to hide my pain. My tears. I will not look into his eyes. But I will carry him out of here. I will mend his wounds. I will do anything he asks because I did not want him to hurt. I never did.

He kept slapping my hands away and pounding on my chests and punching my face but I continued. I tried my best to carry him while he squirmed and hit me hard. I felt a bruise forming near my eye, but I didn't mind it. I continued quietly forcing him to calm down and attempting to carry him. I had to focus on something other than my heart.

"Where are you going to take me?! I don't want to go with you, you'll kill me!" He started moving madly, his wounds splitting open because of it. He shouted out in pain but continued trying to get out of my reach.

Then I knew what I had to do.

I put him down onto the floor.

"I'll take you to Yusuke." I said, emotionless. He stopped his stupid thrashing. It suddenly became quiet. I tried to hide the pain in my voice, looking at the floor. "Then I'll disappear from your life forever... if you want me to."

"...You'd do that for me?" He looked up at my eyes, hoping. It hurt my heart to see him so pleased if I was to leave. I looked at him, nodded, hoping against hope my fear and hurt would not show in my eyes. Then he laughed again.

"Well it's not enough." He said, loudly. " I despise you, Hiei. I want you to die. You hear me? Die. I want you to suffer the way you made me."

I couldn't take it. I burst out angrily, "What have I ever done to you?!"

"Everything, as what I have said countless times, you daft, deaf fool!" He shouted back, "You've tormented me with your indifference, you've hurt me with all your rejections, you've scarred me with your ruthless words and actions and I will never heal! You said you were my friend, but in your heart I know you've denied me even that!"

This cant be happening.

"Kurama, I do care for you."

This isn't real.

Kurama was so beautiful as he spat these words. "Why haven't you shown me, Hiei!? Why?"

I can't live without him.

And I was so cold to him. "I don't know how."

Maybe I should die.

Kurama meant each and every word. I knew that now.

"I was patient with you, I would have understood if you told me. I've waited long enough, now I don't care about you anymore. I hate you and nothing can change that."

And I looked at him sincerely.

"...What do you want me to do then?"

He looked just as serious.

"Die."

It's so strange such a small word could actually end one's world. One's life.

"Alright."