AN: Hey this is a short chapter, but a few things happen I hope you guys
are going to like. Anyways this is the last time I'll be posting until
atleast Sunday night. I have to go out of town and there is no internet
connection POOH! Oh well it gives you guys time to review!! LOL
"Dri, this can't go on," Duncan told her.
"I don't know what you're talking about," She replied.
"Don't get cute."
She smiled innocently.
After Mac had finished wrapping her hand she had gone back into her room. Mac followed. He wasn't going to let this go. He couldn't. Not when she was hurting herself like this.
Dri was currently lying on her bed staring at the ceiling as if it was the first time she'd ever seen it. Duncan was standing next to the bed staring at her.
"You're hurting yourself and I think I know why," He said sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Mac come on, it's not as though I'm cutting myself or anything. I just was angry and the wall happened to be there. If you had been standing in front of me I would have hit you and my hand would probably look the same."
"I'm not indestructible. I just would have moved out of the way," He said with a hint of sarcasm.
"That would have just pissed me off more," Dri replied still staring at the ceiling.
Duncan sighed. "Why are you so angry? Tell me, please!"
Dri's eyes looked towards Mac, but her eyed stayed where it was.
"It won't change anything if I tell you."
"How do you know unless you tell me?"
She looked back at the ceiling. "Because I know all right!"
"No, it's not all right," Duncan told her. "Look at what you're doing to yourself."
"It's nothing I don't deserve," She mumbled.
"What do you mean?" Mac asked.
Dri sighed. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Nothing, I didn't mean that."
"Dri," Duncan said in that voice that told her he knew she was lying.
She closed her eyes tightly as if trying to push away some image.
"Look Mac, there's a lot you don't know about me. There's a lot I want to tell you, but I'm not ready. I have to deal with this myself."
"You don't always have to be strong."
"Yes I do," Dri replied. "I won't let myself become susceptible again. Not to anyone."
"You know what your problem is?"
"No, but I bet your going to tell me," She replied dryly.
"You're afraid."
She looked over at Mac. "What are you talking about?"
"You said it earlier. Physical pain eases the emotional. You can handle the physical pain, but you're afraid to face the pain that's inside."
"Whatever."
"That's why you want to train so much and why you push yourself until you're in pain."
"Shut up Duncan."
"That's why you spend hours upon hours in the dojo. So you can forget about everything in that head of yours."
She was sat up. "Shut up!"
"You won't let anyone get close to you. That way you can keep running from everything that's got you scared."
Dri went to hit Duncan with her left hand, but he grabbed her wrist. She went to hit him with her right hand even though it was bandaged but he caught that to, so she reverted to her legs. Duncan grabbed her and pulled her into his arms holding her tightly in the fetal position so she couldn't move.
She struggled in his arms, but he was too strong.
"Let go of me you bastard!"
"It's all right, Dri," Duncan told her. "Let it out."
"I hate you!" She cried. "I hate you!"
Mac held Dri tightly making sure she didn't hurt him or herself. She tried to hit him, but she couldn't. She tried to get free from his grip, but he was to strong. Her frustration levels were rising. Finally, she collapsed in his arms and started sobbing. For the first time since Duncan had met Dri, she was crying.
"That's it sweet heart. Let it out."
He loosened his grip knowing she wouldn't fight. Her wall had broken or at least cracked a little. Dri wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder. Duncan held on to her and rubbed her back as the sobs shuddered through her body.
"It's all right sweet heart. Everything's going to be all right."
Dri continued to cry for about twenty minutes until her hysterics were reduced to silent tears and soft hiccups. Duncan was still rubbing small circles on her back and rocking her back and forth in his lap.
"I hate this," She whispered, her face still buried in his shoulder.
"What?" He asked.
"Being weak."
"Crying doesn't make you weak. Sometimes the body needs to cry as a release."
"I promised myself a long time ago that I would never cry again no matter what. I broke that promise."
"Why is that?" He pushed.
"You don't want to know." She said between hiccups.
"Yes, I do. This isn't something that can be let go."
Dri sighed. "The last time I cried was when..." She trailed off.
"Was when what?" Mac encouraged.
She hiccupped, but didn't say anything.
"Come on Dri. Tell me. When was the last time you cried? Why did you promise never to do it again?"
Her body shuddered and she pulled back from him. She got off his lap and sat next to him. Duncan didn't protest.
"Talk to me."
She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her chin on top of her knees.
"When my brother died." Dri whispered. "The last time I cried was when my brother died."
TBC. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!
"Dri, this can't go on," Duncan told her.
"I don't know what you're talking about," She replied.
"Don't get cute."
She smiled innocently.
After Mac had finished wrapping her hand she had gone back into her room. Mac followed. He wasn't going to let this go. He couldn't. Not when she was hurting herself like this.
Dri was currently lying on her bed staring at the ceiling as if it was the first time she'd ever seen it. Duncan was standing next to the bed staring at her.
"You're hurting yourself and I think I know why," He said sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Mac come on, it's not as though I'm cutting myself or anything. I just was angry and the wall happened to be there. If you had been standing in front of me I would have hit you and my hand would probably look the same."
"I'm not indestructible. I just would have moved out of the way," He said with a hint of sarcasm.
"That would have just pissed me off more," Dri replied still staring at the ceiling.
Duncan sighed. "Why are you so angry? Tell me, please!"
Dri's eyes looked towards Mac, but her eyed stayed where it was.
"It won't change anything if I tell you."
"How do you know unless you tell me?"
She looked back at the ceiling. "Because I know all right!"
"No, it's not all right," Duncan told her. "Look at what you're doing to yourself."
"It's nothing I don't deserve," She mumbled.
"What do you mean?" Mac asked.
Dri sighed. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Nothing, I didn't mean that."
"Dri," Duncan said in that voice that told her he knew she was lying.
She closed her eyes tightly as if trying to push away some image.
"Look Mac, there's a lot you don't know about me. There's a lot I want to tell you, but I'm not ready. I have to deal with this myself."
"You don't always have to be strong."
"Yes I do," Dri replied. "I won't let myself become susceptible again. Not to anyone."
"You know what your problem is?"
"No, but I bet your going to tell me," She replied dryly.
"You're afraid."
She looked over at Mac. "What are you talking about?"
"You said it earlier. Physical pain eases the emotional. You can handle the physical pain, but you're afraid to face the pain that's inside."
"Whatever."
"That's why you want to train so much and why you push yourself until you're in pain."
"Shut up Duncan."
"That's why you spend hours upon hours in the dojo. So you can forget about everything in that head of yours."
She was sat up. "Shut up!"
"You won't let anyone get close to you. That way you can keep running from everything that's got you scared."
Dri went to hit Duncan with her left hand, but he grabbed her wrist. She went to hit him with her right hand even though it was bandaged but he caught that to, so she reverted to her legs. Duncan grabbed her and pulled her into his arms holding her tightly in the fetal position so she couldn't move.
She struggled in his arms, but he was too strong.
"Let go of me you bastard!"
"It's all right, Dri," Duncan told her. "Let it out."
"I hate you!" She cried. "I hate you!"
Mac held Dri tightly making sure she didn't hurt him or herself. She tried to hit him, but she couldn't. She tried to get free from his grip, but he was to strong. Her frustration levels were rising. Finally, she collapsed in his arms and started sobbing. For the first time since Duncan had met Dri, she was crying.
"That's it sweet heart. Let it out."
He loosened his grip knowing she wouldn't fight. Her wall had broken or at least cracked a little. Dri wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder. Duncan held on to her and rubbed her back as the sobs shuddered through her body.
"It's all right sweet heart. Everything's going to be all right."
Dri continued to cry for about twenty minutes until her hysterics were reduced to silent tears and soft hiccups. Duncan was still rubbing small circles on her back and rocking her back and forth in his lap.
"I hate this," She whispered, her face still buried in his shoulder.
"What?" He asked.
"Being weak."
"Crying doesn't make you weak. Sometimes the body needs to cry as a release."
"I promised myself a long time ago that I would never cry again no matter what. I broke that promise."
"Why is that?" He pushed.
"You don't want to know." She said between hiccups.
"Yes, I do. This isn't something that can be let go."
Dri sighed. "The last time I cried was when..." She trailed off.
"Was when what?" Mac encouraged.
She hiccupped, but didn't say anything.
"Come on Dri. Tell me. When was the last time you cried? Why did you promise never to do it again?"
Her body shuddered and she pulled back from him. She got off his lap and sat next to him. Duncan didn't protest.
"Talk to me."
She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her chin on top of her knees.
"When my brother died." Dri whispered. "The last time I cried was when my brother died."
TBC. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!
