AN: I forgot to let you all know in previous chapters that I normally write under the nickname FriendsFanatic, but for some reason I was having trouble uploading so I created another account.

(Continued on from previous chapter)

The phone was ringing and ringing when it was suddenly snatched up.

"Hello?"

"Monica?" said Ross quietly

"Ross!!" she replied, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Hi to you too" said Ross

"Don't hi me Ross" said Monica loudly "Where have you been the last week and a half and what the hell is wrong with you?"

Ross sighed, "Nothing is wrong with me"

"Nothing?" asked Monica "You cheated on your wife and then you ran away, leaving her a little note to let her know what you did and nothings wrong with you?"

"Ok so there's something wrong with me" said Ross "I'm an asshole who is also a coward who deserves to be living in the gutters with the rats for what he did"

"I wouldn't go that far," said Monica, softening up "I just can't believe you could do that to Rachel, Ross. How could you be with someone else? Rachel is your wife"

"I know," said Ross "I can't believe I did it either ok, I was drunk, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, Amanda came.."

"Amanda?" interrupted Monica "So it was this hot work colleague, Amanda was it?"

"Who said she was hot?" asked Ross "No, that doesn't matter.What matters is that I haven't stop regretting it ever since, I left because I thought it was the best thing to do, Rachel deserves better then me and I didn't want to hurt her"

"Well you've hurt her anyway Ross," said Monica "You've hurt her so much"

"I know I've hurt her. I feel like killing myself for what I've done to her and the kids" said Ross "I'm so disgusted with myself, angry at myself."

"You didn't answer my question before," said Monica, interrupting him "Where are you? Where have you been staying?"

"Some hotel uptown" said Ross "I went home before"

"You what?" said Monica "You went home?"

"Yeah, to grab some stuff and I saw Rach, Em and Josh, walking to Emma's school and I was looking at Rach's face and she looked so sad, so depressed. I wanted to run over there and just hug her, make her better," said Ross "Why didn't you?" asked Monica

"Yeah sure. Hi Honey, I'm back, I'm so sorry for cheating on you, Would it be ok if I hugged you now, stop the sadness and depression which by the way is all my fault and told you how much I love you?"

"Funny" said Monica "Are you coming back?"

"I don't know," said Ross "God knows I want too. I miss Rachel and the kids so much, but I know if I come back, it's going to cause more arguing, Rachel won't even want to speak to me, which she has every right to, I don't want to put them through any more. I hate myself enough as it is, I couldn't deal if I caused them anymore pain"

"So you're just going to deprive your children of their father?" asked Monica

"What good was I before?" asked Ross "I was never there, I was working 24/7. I couldn't keep a promise to my own daughter if my life depended on it, I made their mother upset...Maybe it's for the best if I just stay away"

"I don't think I agree" said Monica "I understand what you mean about you don't want to cause Rachel and the kids anymore pain or sadness, but I think you need to face up to it. Stop being such a coward and get your ass home"

"I don't want to upset Rachel anymore" said Ross "I hate knowing that I've caused her so much grief, She is the last person I ever wanted to hurt, I should have thought of her before I went near Amanda"

"Too right you should have" said Monica "Rachel and Josh were here this morning"

"I know," said Ross

"How? Have you been spying on her or something?" asked Monica

"What, No!!" said Ross "I was about to leave the apartment when her and Josh were coming up the stairs. She was talking to Josh about me, he asked her if I was going to be inside and she said no and he told her he wanted a Daddy cuddle, It broke my heart"

"She's been a mess," said Monica "An absolute mess. Today was the first time I saw her smile and not in her sweatpants"

"I feel so terrible," said Ross "This is the second time I've hurt her.I don't know what's wrong with me. Why did I do this? To someone who I love so much"

"Only you know the answer to that," said Monica "But if you want my advice, I think you should hang up the phone right now, Call Rachel and talk to her"

"I don't think I should do that," said Ross "She'll either hang up in my ear or scream obscenities at me" "We were talking today and she told me how much she still loves you, in spite of everything you've done and how much she misses you" said Monica "She started reminiscing about your wedding day and something you said to her up at the altar"

"How my heart was hers and only hers forever," said Ross "I can still remember saying that, I did mean it you know. I haven't given my heart to anybody else"

"That's one of the things she said, She couldn't deal if you had given your heart to this other woman" said Monica "Ross, I know I'm not very good with the advice but I'm better then Chandler or Joey so please, listen to me and call her...I really think you should"

"Really?" asked Ross "What if."

"Who cares about the what if's?" said Monica "There are way to many What if's to even think about. Do the right thing"

"Is it the right thing though?" asked Ross

"YES" said Monica "Be a man for Christ sakes, Stop being a pussy and phone your wife"

"Ok..OK" said Ross "I'll do it, but Monica I swear to god, if you are wrong about this.."

"You'll what?" asked Monica "Trust me, If you don't take the first step, take the chance that you might be able to rebuild your relationship, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life"

"OK" said Ross "What am I going to say to her, how can I ever make up for what I did?"

"Again, Only you can figure that out" said Monica "Call me after ok?"

"Ok" said Ross "Bye"

Ross hung up the phone and sat down on his bed, taking in deep breathes and wondering if what he was about to do was another one of those stupid mistakes he has a habit of making...He wasn't sure but he needed to get real and be a man.

He dialled his and Rachel's number...His palms were sweating so much and he was hoping Joshua didn't answer the phone because he didn't want to get him all excited.

The phone rang out until the answering machine and he debated wether to leave a message when the beep sounded. He decided to and began to talk

(Ross and Rachel's Apartment)

Rachel and Josh were walking towards the front door, Rachel heard the answering machine message saying they couldn't come to the phone right now and quickly fumbled for her keys. The door opened and the first thing she heard was

*Beeeeeeeeeeep*

"Rachel...Rachel it's me" came Ross's voice

Rachel nearly dropped her groceries in shock

"Daddy?" asked Josh, pointing at the phone

"I guess you're not home. Ahh...it took a lot of courage for me to call you, after everything I have done but Rach I want you to know how very sorry I am, sorry for being unfaithful, sorry for running away, Sorry for being the way I've been lately. I honestly feel so terrible, I can't believe I could ever do this to someone who I love so much, and I do Rachel, I love you so much and I miss you and the kids. I am so, so sorry for leaving you, it was a snap decision and I realise now it was the wrong one to make. I don't want to talk to the machine anymore but I had to let you know how sorry I am, how much I love you and if you ever gave me the chance, I would do everything in my power to make it up to you, Emma and Josh. If you want to return this message, call my hotel on 555-8790 ok. Again, I love you and I really want to hear your voice. Bye"

Rachel heard him hang up and wondering if she should have picked up the phone, she somehow couldn't bring herself to reach forward and pick up the receiver. She sat down on the couch, still with a shocked look on her face.

"That was Daddy," said Josh

"Yeah" said Rachel "It was."

"Me talk now?" asked Josh

"Not now Honey" said Rachel "It's naptime for you ok, Mommy needs some peace and quiet to think"

"Ok" said Josh, heading through to his bedroom, Rachel following him where she helped him in the toilet and tucked him in his bed, pulling the blinds down to block out the sunlight

"Sleep tight Sweetie" said Rachel "I love you"

"Luf you too Momma" said Josh, with his thumb in his mouth.

Rachel went out into the lounge room and played the message again, letting each word sink in. He said numerous times how sorry he was but she wondered if he was really..One part of her wanted to pick up the phone, call him and tell him to come home but another part of her wanted to call him, and tell him to stay out of her life.

But another fact was that she couldn't, as much anger, hurt and betrayal she felt, there was no way that she could block him out of her life. He was her husband and her best friend. The person she had agreed to love for all eternity, to always be there for and to always make it work, no matter what went wrong.

She put her head in her hands, as she pondered over what to do. He was right when he said that it took a lot of courage for him to call. It would take a lot of courage for her to call him back right now.

All of a sudden she decided, he had the courage to call her, now she had to make the effort to call him back.

She dialled the Hotel number, which took her to reception

"Hello, Do you have a Ross Geller staying?" she asked when the phone was picked up

"Yes, One moment please," said the receptionist and Rachel heard a series of beeps and buttons being pushed as he transferred her through.

(Ross's Hotel Room)

Ross was dozing on the bed when the phone rang.

He quickly sat up on the bed, his heart racing as he realised who it could be. No one else knew he was here so it could either be Rachel or the Hotel Reception calling.

He calmed himself down and picked up the phone, it nearly slipped out his hand and hit the floor as he grabbed it up. He lifted it to his ear

"Hello" he said. His heart was nearly pounding its way out of his chest

"Ross?" said Rachel "It's Rachel"

"Rachel..Oh my god" said Ross "I didn't know if you were going to call"

"I didn't know either," admitted Rachel "But.."

"Ho, How are you?" asked Ross, struggling to get the words out

"I've been better" said Rachel "No, I guess I'm ok"

"That's good," said Ross "How are Emma and Joshua?"

"Fine" said Rachel "Missing their Daddy but apart from that"

"Tell them their Daddy misses them too" said Ross

"Does he?" asked Rachel

"Yes," said Ross "So much" "Ross..." said Rachel

"Yes?" replied Ross

"There's something I need to know," said Rachel

"Ask me" said Ross

"WHY?" asked Rachel

"Why..." said Ross, going silent

"That's all," said Rachel "It shouldn't be that hard to answer, everything you do, you do it for a reason"

"I guess because I'm stupid," said Ross

"Stupid?" asked Rachel "Is that all you can say?"

"No" said Ross "Rachel, I was drunk, I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. About how there was this woman there, and she was throwing herself at me. Something just took over my brain.."

"Was it because of me?" asked Rachel quietly "Did I drive you to this? Was I such a bad wife that I drove you to do this?"

"No, God no Rachel" said Ross "It wasn't you. You are the best wife any guy could possibly ask for, you're kind, you're caring, and you are a fantastic mother"

"Stop" said Rachel

"I won't stop" said Ross "You deserve all the praise you get because you truly are the most fabulous, loving person I have ever known..And I can't believe I hurt you so much"

"You did," said Rachel "You hurt me so much...The amount of feelings I felt when I read that letter, I felt so much anger towards you, betrayal, and sadness. I felt so sad when I realised that my husband would rather be with someone else then me"

"No, that's not how it is" interrupted Ross "Rach, I don't want to be with anyone else but you...You are the only person I will ever love, probably the only person that I have ever truly loved"

"You keep saying that Ross" said Rachel "But what I don't understand is how can you love someone so much, yet you go out and be with someone else??"

"I don't know," said Ross "I just had all these feelings, thoughts running through my head and I made a stupid, stupid mistake and I would do anything, anything to make it up to you. I hate myself for hurting you so much and I don't blame you at all, if you hate me too"

Rachel sighed, "I want to hate you" she said "But I can't"

"You can't?" asked Ross

"No" said Rachel "I can't hate someone who I've loved for so long, the someone who gave me my children"

"You still love me?" asked Ross

"Yeah" said Rachel "I guess I do"

"Soooo" said Ross

"Sooo what?" asked Rachel "Spit it out"

"Can I come around?" asked Ross "Maybe?"

Rachel thought about it for a second "I don't think it's a good idea"

"What? Why not?" asked Ross "I want to see you, prove to you how much I want to be with you and only you, I want to see my children, Rachel please"

"I don't want you coming home and getting Emma and Josh all excited, they will think that you are home to stay and I don't think I am ready for that" said Rachel "I don't know when or if I will ever be ready for that"

"I understand," said Ross quietly. His spirits had been lifted when she said she still loved him but hearing her say she didn't know if she could ever let him come home, just brought him all the way back down again "Can I at least speak to them on the phone?"

"I guess so," said Rachel "Josh is sleeping now and Em's at school but if you call back later, she'll be home"

"Ok, I will," said Ross

"Ok" said Rachel

There were a few moments of silence before Ross spoke again

"I want to thank you Rachel, for having it in your heart to pick up the phone, for hearing me out. That's something a lot of other people in your position wouldn't have done, but you did because you are a fantastic person," said Ross "It means so much to me"

"Ok" said Rachel. She really didn't know what else to say at this point.

"I'll let you go then" said Ross "I'll call back at about 3:00 then"

"No worries" said Rachel "Good bye"

"Bye Rachel" said Ross, hanging up the phone with a sinking feeling in his chest.

She was hurt, very hurt and he was going to have to work extremely hard to make her see how important she was to him and how much he wanted to make it up to her.

(Ross and Rachel's Apartment- Later on in the afternoon)

The phone rang and Rachel, knowing who it was likely to be, said to Emma who was colouring in her book "Do you want to answer that Sweetie?'

"Nup" said Emma "I'm busy"

Rachel smiled "Ok"

She picked up the phone "Hello"

"Hi" said Ross "How are you?"

"Fine" said Rachel "Do you want your daughter?"

"Yes, thanks," said Ross

"Emma, There's someone on the phone for you" said Rachel, holding the receiver out

"Is it Eliza?" asked Emma, standing up

"I don't know," said Rachel "Here"

"Hello" said Emma

"Hey Grasshopper" said Ross "How are you?"

"Daddy?" asked Emma "Is that you?"

"Yeah" said Ross "How have you been Princess?"

"Kinda good" said Emma "But I think I'm mad at you Daddy"

"You are?" asked Ross

"Yes, because you ran away in the middle of the night, without kissing me goodbye, you made Mommy cry and be all upset for days. You're mean," said Emma

"I know Emma," said Ross "I did the wrong thing but I'm really sorry for it Sweetie"

"Super dooper sorry?" asked Emma "Coz if you are, I might be able to forgive you"

"Super, super, super dooper Sorry" said Ross "I really am"

"Are you coming home?" asked Emma "I miss you"

"I don't think so" said Ross "But I miss you too Em, It's nice to hear your voice"

"Why aren't you coming home, if you miss me so much?" asked Emma

"There's some things that Mommy and Daddy need to talk about," said Ross "I don't know when that's going to happen but I want it to be soon"

"I want it to be soon too" said Emma "Maybe if you buy Mommy some flowers or a diamond ring she might talk to you sooner"

Ross laughed, a half hearted laugh "I wish it was as easy at that, but it's not"

"I know," said Emma sadly "I know Mommy's angry at you"

"Yeah, but I'm trying Sweetie. I'm going to try my hardest to make it up to Mommy" said Ross "It might take some time though"

"I'll talk to her for you" said Emma

Rachel was sitting on the couch listening. A small smile crept onto her face as she heard her daughter say that. She knew how much Emma wanted her Daddy home.

"Do you want to talk to Mommy?" asked Emma

"If she wants to talk to me," said Ross

"Mommy, do you want to talk to Daddy?" asked Emma, covering the mouthpiece "He's got something important to tell you"

"Em" said Ross into the phone "Don't make up stuff"

"He does Mommy," said Emma "Here"

She said quickly into the phone "Bye Daddy, I love you lots ok. Here's Mommy"

Before throwing the phone into Rachel's lap.

"Hi" said Rachel "What did you have to tell me?"

"Uhh, nothing really" said Ross "Emma just wanted you to talk to me"

"Ohh" said Rachel "She's a sneaky little chica"

"She is" said Ross "Actually, I do want to ask you something"

"Yes" asked Rachel

"I wanted to ask you if I could take you out to dinner tonight" said Ross "Like a date, I guess"

"A date?" asked Rachel "Ross, I don't know if I'm ready to see you yet, I'm still not feeling the best about you."

"But if you let me take you out, we can talk" said Ross "I really want to see you. Talk to you, face to face. Please?"

"I..i suppose so" said Rachel, wondering if this was a smart decision.

"Really?" said Ross "That's great. Can I pick you up?"

"No" said Rachel "I'll meet you where ever we're going"

"Fair enough" said Ross "How about Insomnia at 7pm?"

"Sure" said Rachel "I'll see you there"

"Great" said Ross "Rachel..."

"Yeah" she said, just before she was about to hang up the phone

"I love you," he said softly

"I know," said Rachel, before hanging up the phone "I know you do"

TBC