AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews, it makes it worth continuing :-)
Chapter 7
(Continued from before)
Rachel was now sitting on the edge of the bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around her and Ross was lying down, looking at her back.
He sat up and moved next to her, laying the blanket across his lap.
"Are you ok?" he asked, kissing her shoulder, and tracing his finger along her arm.
"Yeah" she said softly "We haven't done that for awhile"
"I know," said Ross "It was amazing"
Rachel nodded.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Ross
"Nothing" said Rachel "Actually.. something"
"What is it?"
"Something that is creeping me out" said Rachel, moving away from him
"I know what it is," said Ross, shaking his head "You don't need to say it"
Rachel covered her face with her hands "I'm sorry, I can't help it"
"I know," said Ross "But if it makes you feel any better, I was NOT thinking about that when I was making love to you"
"It doesn't" said Rachel, standing up "It doesn't make me feel any better that you weren't thinking about her, because I still am and now I know what she looks like, I can put a face to her and it makes it 10 times worse"
"Think about something else" suggested Ross "Think about how much you and I love each other and how much I want to be at home with you, Emma and Joshua"
"I can't" said Rachel "I wasn't ready for what just happened, it was a mistake"
"But I asked you, I made sure you were Rach," said Ross "You said you were"
"I thought I was," said Rachel "And I did enjoy it, but now all I can think about is you and her, doing that sort of stuff, You making love to someone who wasn't me"
"It wasn't making love," said Ross "There was no love between us"
"Still." said Rachel
Ross stood up and reached for her waist, pulling her into his lap on the bed
"It's only you I think about Rach," he said, "I swear to God"
"That may be true," said Rachel, freeing herself from him and moving over to the bathroom doorway "But it still doesn't change how I feel"
"How do you feel?" asked Ross "And tell me the truth"
Rachel took a deep breath "I feel...I feel like I can't do this"
"You can't do this?" asked Ross confused "What's this? What we just did?"
"No, everything" she said "I can't live my life, thinking about you and this other woman all the time, I feel like every time I would be kissing you, every time I would be with you, She'll be popping into my head and I just can't do it"
"So what are you saying?" said Ross "That this is it?"
"No, it's not it" said Rachel "But there are so many things I need to learn to deal with, I need to learn how to forgive, I need to learn how to forget..."
"I can help you," said Ross, "Let me help you"
"You can't help me," said Rachel, as tears started to roll down her face "You're part of the problem"
Ross stood up and started putting his clothes back on, a frosty silence developed between them
"I'm sorry," said Rachel softly "It's my issue"
"Don't be sorry" said Ross, coming to her side "I understand that there will never be anything that I can do to make it up to you. I understand that it's my fault that you're feeling this way and I will never forgive myself for putting you through this"
He kissed her gently "So now I'm going to step back"
"Step back?" she asked
"Yes, I've tried Rach, I've done everything I can but if things can't be worked out, then I can't do anymore," said Ross
"I'm not saying never," said Rachel
"Maybe not" said Ross "And I will wait for you, but for now I think that you need to sort out what you want, make up your mind. I've told you what I want, now it's time for you to decide,"
They heard a knock on the door and a voice said "Mommy? Daddy?"
"Just a second Sweetie" said Ross "Wait and I'll be out in a moment"
He looked at Rachel who was standing, still wrapped in a sheet with a sad and tormented look on her face.
"Can I take the kids out this afternoon?" he asked "To Central Park or something?"
"Of course" said Rachel
"Do you want me to come here for them?" he asked "Or do you want me to send Monica for them?"
"No, No" said Rachel "It's not going to be like that. You can come here and pick them up, this is your home too you know"
"I don't think it is anymore," said Ross sadly "My home is room 32, ****** Hotel"
"Ross please" said Rachel
"If this was my home, then I would be here," said Ross "It's fine, what more could I expect really? I'm lucky that you are even talking to me, among other things"
"What time will you be here?" asked Rachel, changing the subject
Emma suddenly barged through the door and looked back and forwards from Rachel to Ross.
"EMMA!!" said Rachel "What did your Dad just tell you?"
"Mommy, why are you wearing a sheet?" said Emma "And Daddy, why do you have your shirt on back to front?"
Ross looked down at himself and realised it was true, He had his shirt on back to front, he must be going crazy.
Rachel was looking at him, with a tiny smile on her face. He was such a big goof.
"No reason" he said "Get out of here and we'll be out in a second"
"Were you making up?" asked Emma
"Leave" said Ross "Out the door"
"Fine" said Emma, stomping out, shutting the door behind her.
They both looked at the door before Rachel sat on the bed, Ross sat back down next to her
"It was great before" he said, "I've missed everything about you" "I've missed you too" admitted Rachel
"I love you," said Ross
"I love you too" said Rachel
"So now we both know where we stand then?" said Ross, standing up and heading for the door "You love me and I love you"
"I guess," said Rachel "But love doesn't fix everything"
"I know" said Ross "I'll be back in an hour or so, is that ok?"
"Yes," said Rachel "Can you lock the front door behind you?"
"No problem" said Ross
He pulled the bedroom door over behind him, peeking his head around before he shut it fully "Bye Rach"
"Goodbye" she said.
As the door shut, Rachel flopped back down across the bed. Everything about this was so hard, She thought that maybe if they were together, she would forget about it, just enjoy being with him and it could be another step towards their new relationship but instead, all it did was bring up all the feelings again. Why couldn't there be a simple answer to everything, She wondered if it would be easier just to let it go, throw it all away, get a divorce and be friends who used to be married with a couple of kids? Or would it be easier just to bring him back into their lives, back home, start over and pretend it never happened?
(Living room)
Ross walked back out into the living room, Emma and Josh were playing on the floor and both looked up as he walked out.
"I'm going now," he said "Can I have a hug?"
"Daddy, what were you and Mommy doing in there?" asked Emma curiously
"Nothing sweetie, Just talking" said Ross
"Talking with no clothes on?" asked Emma
"Something like that" said Ross "It's nothing to you"
"Are you coming home soon?" said Emma "Did Mommy say you could yet?"
"Not yet" said Ross "But I am coming back for you guys in an hour, we're going to Central Park for the afternoon"
"Really?" asked Emma "Just us or Mommy too?"
"Just as" said Ross "Now give me a quick hug before I go, you guys need to get ready"
Emma and Josh both jumped into his arms, hugging him so tightly he had to peel them off "I'll see you soon"
"Bye Daddy" said Josh, kissing his cheek "I love you"
"I love you both too" said Ross, as he closed the door behind him, turning his key to lock the door and walking downstairs and out into the sunshine.
He headed across the road, towards Joey and Chandler's apartment block.
He walked into Monica and Chandler's apartment to see Joey and Chandler sitting on the couch, watching a football game. Neither turned around when he entered.
"Guys" he said, getting no answer he repeated himself "GUYS"
Both jumped and turned around
"Hey man," said Chandler "What's going on?"
"Nothing much" said Ross, joining them on the couch and saying to Joey "Dude, Don't you have a home to go to?"
"I do but me and the lady of the home had a fight," said Joey "Phoebe told me to get out and go over to Chandler's to watch the football. She's being very mean to me lately"
"Where's Mon?" Ross asked Chandler "And Jamie and Taylah?"
"They went across the hall," said Chandler "Basically we swapped, I get rid off Monica and gain Joey"
"Fair enough" said Ross, grabbing a beer off the table
"How are things with you?" asked Chandler "Did you talk to Rachel?"
"Yeah" said Ross "And other things"
"Other things?" said Joey suspiciously "What other things?"
"Well we were talking, then I bumped into her when she was coming out of the bathroom, She was wrapped in a towel and boy did she look hot, She was complaining of neck pain so I gave her a massage and I guess one thing led to another" said Ross
"You didn't?" said Chandler
"We did," said Ross
"Are you serious?" asked Joey "She actually had sex with you again, after everything you've done?"
"So, are things looking up?" said Chandler, smiling
"I wish I could say Yes," said Ross "Once we were finished, with the.uh .stuff. She got upset because all she could think about was me doing that with someone who wasn't her, all she could see was Amanda's face"
"So she was picturing a woman when you were having sex" said Joey with a cheeky look on his face "Nice"
"Get your mind out of the gutter Joey," said Ross "It wasn't during, it was after"
"Sorry" he said "Go on"
"And then she said that she can't do it, she can't live her life, be with me and having Amanda's head popping up all the time" said Ross
He went silent for a moment
"And..." prompted Chandler
"She said that it was her problem, she needed to learn how to forgive, and how to forget but when I offered to help her she told me that wouldn't help, because I'm part of the problem"
"Whoa" said Joey "That had to hurt"
"What did you say?" asked Chandler
"I told her I would step back, let her make up her mind, sort out her issues" said Ross "What else could I say?"
"Don't ask me" said Joey "I'd never cheat on Phoebe, she'd cut my balls off"
"So I'm taking Em and Josh out this afternoon" said Ross "I'm so grateful she's letting me see the kids again, I've missed them so much"
"That's good then," said Chandler, slapping his shoulder
"She still loves me ya'know," said Ross "She told me today, I told her I loved her and she said she loves me too"
"It's going to work out," said Joey "I know it is"
"I agree," said Chandler "You guys have been through so much to just throw it all away"
"I can only hope. Hope that our love for each other is enough for us to make it through this" said Ross "God this morning was so amazing, I didn't realise how much I had missed the physical side of our relationship. Feeling her body, her skin, her lips against mine, I love every single part of her"
"That good?" said Joey
"It really was" said Ross "Out of this world"
"I gotta go make up with Phoebe," said Joey, standing up and walking towards the door "See ya"
"I better go too" said Ross "I told Rach I'd be back for the kids in an hour and I want to go the store first"
"Have fun" said Chandler "I'm going to sit here on my lonesome until Mon comes back with the kids and chaos begins"
"Sounds great," said Ross "I'll see you later"
(Ross and Rachel's)
Rachel was struggling to dress Joshua, against his wishes when she heard a knock at the door.
"Emma, can you get it Sweetie?" she called out in the direction of Emma's bedroom.
No answer came so she called out "Who is it?"
"It's me" came Ross' reply
She looked at the clock; he was early "Come in"
He came in the door and saw her wrestling with Joshua.
"What's going on here?" he asked
"I don't want to get dressed," said Josh, breaking free and running into Ross's arms, clad in his jocks and Singlet
Rachel stood up, defeated.
"Will you let Daddy dress you?" she asked Josh
"Yes" he said
"Well go ahead Daddy," said Rachel, handing him a pair of Bob the Builder overalls and a T-Shirt. "I'll get the other one"
She walked out of the living room and Ross sat down on the couch, with Joshua in his lap
"Are you being naughty for Mommy?" he asked
"Yep" replied Joshua with a laugh
"That's not very nice," said Ross
"Oh well" said Joshua
"Oh well, not Oh well" said Ross "When did you become such a cheeky little boy?"
Rachel was on her way back into the living room, when she heard them talking. She paused in the doorway
"Mommy deserves a break," said Ross "She's been through a lot lately"
"She has?" said Joshua
"Yeah, most of it being Daddy's fault but he's trying to make up for it" said Ross "Do you know how much Daddy loves you, Emma and your Mommy?"
"This much?" said Josh, spreading his little arms out as wide as they could go.
"That much and more" said Ross, spreading his arms out farther
"That's lots," said Joshua "I love you that much too but I want you to stay here"
"That's good to hear," said Ross "And I'm trying as hard as I can, to get Mommy to let me come home, I don't think she knows just how much I miss her"
"Lots" suggested Joshua
"Yeah" said Ross "Lots"
Rachel was standing, listening with a thoughtful expression on her face when Emma bumped into her from behind, causing her to jump and smack her hand off the door frame
"Shit!!" she cursed loudly, causing Ross to look up "Emma that hurt"
"Sorry Mommy" she said, running by her and jumping on the couch next to Ross "Hi Daddy"
"Hey Princess" said Ross, kissing her head "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure am," she said brightly
"I guess we'll be off then" he said, "Do you have your sunhat Sweetie?"
"No" said Emma, looking around the room
"I'll get it," said Rachel, walking out, locating the hat in Emma's messy room and coming back into the living room.
"Here you go honey," she said, handing her the hat "Have a good afternoon guys"
"What are you doing this afternoon?" asked Ross, "Being free of your children for a few hours"
"Nothing probably" said Rachel "Visit Monica and Phoebe maybe, same old stuff"
"Do you want to come?" asked Ross hesitantly
"Uh." said Rachel "I don't know"
"Come Mommy" said Emma "Daddy really wants you too"
"Does he now?" said Rachel, looking at Ross
"He thinks it would be fun," said Ross "Come on"
"I'm not even dressed," said Rachel, looking down at herself wearing only her underwear and her robe
"We'll wait won't we kids?" said Ross
"We will," said Emma "Hurry Mommy"
"All right" said Rachel "You've convinced me, I'll be 2 minutes"
She went into the bedroom, grabbed a pair of ¾ cargo pants, a Singlet top and some thongs, throwing them on before running a brush through her still damp hair.
She went out and found Emma pacing by the door "Are you ready?"
"I am" said Rachel, grabbing her handbag and picking up Joshua
"Let's go then," said Ross, grabbing Emma's hand as they went out the front door.
(Central Park)
Ross and Rachel were sitting on the grass, watching Emma and Josh spin round and round on a piece of equipment, Rachel laughing as Josh hopped off, very dizzy and fell down.
"We make some cute kids don't we?" said Ross
"We do" said Rachel "It helps that they have 2 attractive parents, they've got good genes"
"Yeah" said Ross
"Joshua looks like you though," said Rachel "He has the same goofy personality too"
"Hey." said Ross "I'm not a goof"
"You are a goof," said Rachel "I should call you BG, short for big goof"
"You're lucky I'm such a gentleman, or else I would have drop rolled you right down this hill" joked Ross "But I won't"
Rachel smiled "I know"
They sat, just watching the kids for a while. Emma was chasing Joshua, who Rachel could see was becoming tired out and sure enough, he collapsed on the grass, laughing madly a few moments later.
Rachel looked at Ross and could see the look of happiness on his face as he watched his children play; she knew that they truly were his everything.
"Hey, you know what I said this morning" began Rachel "I didn't mean that it was never going to happen, I just meant that I needed some time, to sort out my thoughts before I made any decisions, you know?"
'Yeah I know" said Ross "It's going to take time"
"But you won't move on will you?" asked Rachel
"No way Rachel" said Ross "If things don't work out between us, then that is it for me. There can never be anyone else, if I don't get you back in my arms then I will never be with a woman again. Pure and Simple"
"You don't mean that," said Rachel "Seriously"
"I do" said Ross "I will never find another person who can make me feel the way you do, who makes me laugh, who makes me smile, who makes me feel eternally grateful to have met them. I don't know why it took my unfaithfulness to make me see how lucky I am to have you, how lucky I am to have you as my wife"
"You didn't realise that before?" asked Rachel
"No, I did but it took something stupid to make me think about it again" said Ross "If I got you back, I would never do anything to mess it up, Ever"
"Could that be another promise?" asked Rachel "Considering your track record with promises"
"It is a promise" said Ross "I've learnt my lesson twice over, there is nothing more in this world that means as much to me as repairing the damage I've done, making you have faith and trust in me again. Making you my wife again"
"I'm still your wife," said Rachel "Estranged maybe but I haven't signed any divorce papers"
"Yet" said Ross
"I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel
Ross was stunned by her revelation and his hopes were instantly lifted "You're not?"
"No" said Rachel, looking up at the sky then looking back down at him "I mean I should, but I won't"
"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that," said Ross, grabbing her hand "What does this mean?"
"It means that I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel "Whatever comes next, I'm not so sure about yet"
"What should I say?" said Ross "But what about what you said before, about thinking and making decisions?"
"You could shut up for once and hug me," said Rachel "I'm a little chilly"
Ross grinned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close
"I'm not ready to have you at home yet" said Rachel "But I think I am ready to start over"
"Are you sure?" asked Ross
"Yeah" said Rachel, deliberating over her decision. This wasn't something she could throw away, She nodded slowly "I am"
TBC
Chapter 7
(Continued from before)
Rachel was now sitting on the edge of the bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around her and Ross was lying down, looking at her back.
He sat up and moved next to her, laying the blanket across his lap.
"Are you ok?" he asked, kissing her shoulder, and tracing his finger along her arm.
"Yeah" she said softly "We haven't done that for awhile"
"I know," said Ross "It was amazing"
Rachel nodded.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Ross
"Nothing" said Rachel "Actually.. something"
"What is it?"
"Something that is creeping me out" said Rachel, moving away from him
"I know what it is," said Ross, shaking his head "You don't need to say it"
Rachel covered her face with her hands "I'm sorry, I can't help it"
"I know," said Ross "But if it makes you feel any better, I was NOT thinking about that when I was making love to you"
"It doesn't" said Rachel, standing up "It doesn't make me feel any better that you weren't thinking about her, because I still am and now I know what she looks like, I can put a face to her and it makes it 10 times worse"
"Think about something else" suggested Ross "Think about how much you and I love each other and how much I want to be at home with you, Emma and Joshua"
"I can't" said Rachel "I wasn't ready for what just happened, it was a mistake"
"But I asked you, I made sure you were Rach," said Ross "You said you were"
"I thought I was," said Rachel "And I did enjoy it, but now all I can think about is you and her, doing that sort of stuff, You making love to someone who wasn't me"
"It wasn't making love," said Ross "There was no love between us"
"Still." said Rachel
Ross stood up and reached for her waist, pulling her into his lap on the bed
"It's only you I think about Rach," he said, "I swear to God"
"That may be true," said Rachel, freeing herself from him and moving over to the bathroom doorway "But it still doesn't change how I feel"
"How do you feel?" asked Ross "And tell me the truth"
Rachel took a deep breath "I feel...I feel like I can't do this"
"You can't do this?" asked Ross confused "What's this? What we just did?"
"No, everything" she said "I can't live my life, thinking about you and this other woman all the time, I feel like every time I would be kissing you, every time I would be with you, She'll be popping into my head and I just can't do it"
"So what are you saying?" said Ross "That this is it?"
"No, it's not it" said Rachel "But there are so many things I need to learn to deal with, I need to learn how to forgive, I need to learn how to forget..."
"I can help you," said Ross, "Let me help you"
"You can't help me," said Rachel, as tears started to roll down her face "You're part of the problem"
Ross stood up and started putting his clothes back on, a frosty silence developed between them
"I'm sorry," said Rachel softly "It's my issue"
"Don't be sorry" said Ross, coming to her side "I understand that there will never be anything that I can do to make it up to you. I understand that it's my fault that you're feeling this way and I will never forgive myself for putting you through this"
He kissed her gently "So now I'm going to step back"
"Step back?" she asked
"Yes, I've tried Rach, I've done everything I can but if things can't be worked out, then I can't do anymore," said Ross
"I'm not saying never," said Rachel
"Maybe not" said Ross "And I will wait for you, but for now I think that you need to sort out what you want, make up your mind. I've told you what I want, now it's time for you to decide,"
They heard a knock on the door and a voice said "Mommy? Daddy?"
"Just a second Sweetie" said Ross "Wait and I'll be out in a moment"
He looked at Rachel who was standing, still wrapped in a sheet with a sad and tormented look on her face.
"Can I take the kids out this afternoon?" he asked "To Central Park or something?"
"Of course" said Rachel
"Do you want me to come here for them?" he asked "Or do you want me to send Monica for them?"
"No, No" said Rachel "It's not going to be like that. You can come here and pick them up, this is your home too you know"
"I don't think it is anymore," said Ross sadly "My home is room 32, ****** Hotel"
"Ross please" said Rachel
"If this was my home, then I would be here," said Ross "It's fine, what more could I expect really? I'm lucky that you are even talking to me, among other things"
"What time will you be here?" asked Rachel, changing the subject
Emma suddenly barged through the door and looked back and forwards from Rachel to Ross.
"EMMA!!" said Rachel "What did your Dad just tell you?"
"Mommy, why are you wearing a sheet?" said Emma "And Daddy, why do you have your shirt on back to front?"
Ross looked down at himself and realised it was true, He had his shirt on back to front, he must be going crazy.
Rachel was looking at him, with a tiny smile on her face. He was such a big goof.
"No reason" he said "Get out of here and we'll be out in a second"
"Were you making up?" asked Emma
"Leave" said Ross "Out the door"
"Fine" said Emma, stomping out, shutting the door behind her.
They both looked at the door before Rachel sat on the bed, Ross sat back down next to her
"It was great before" he said, "I've missed everything about you" "I've missed you too" admitted Rachel
"I love you," said Ross
"I love you too" said Rachel
"So now we both know where we stand then?" said Ross, standing up and heading for the door "You love me and I love you"
"I guess," said Rachel "But love doesn't fix everything"
"I know" said Ross "I'll be back in an hour or so, is that ok?"
"Yes," said Rachel "Can you lock the front door behind you?"
"No problem" said Ross
He pulled the bedroom door over behind him, peeking his head around before he shut it fully "Bye Rach"
"Goodbye" she said.
As the door shut, Rachel flopped back down across the bed. Everything about this was so hard, She thought that maybe if they were together, she would forget about it, just enjoy being with him and it could be another step towards their new relationship but instead, all it did was bring up all the feelings again. Why couldn't there be a simple answer to everything, She wondered if it would be easier just to let it go, throw it all away, get a divorce and be friends who used to be married with a couple of kids? Or would it be easier just to bring him back into their lives, back home, start over and pretend it never happened?
(Living room)
Ross walked back out into the living room, Emma and Josh were playing on the floor and both looked up as he walked out.
"I'm going now," he said "Can I have a hug?"
"Daddy, what were you and Mommy doing in there?" asked Emma curiously
"Nothing sweetie, Just talking" said Ross
"Talking with no clothes on?" asked Emma
"Something like that" said Ross "It's nothing to you"
"Are you coming home soon?" said Emma "Did Mommy say you could yet?"
"Not yet" said Ross "But I am coming back for you guys in an hour, we're going to Central Park for the afternoon"
"Really?" asked Emma "Just us or Mommy too?"
"Just as" said Ross "Now give me a quick hug before I go, you guys need to get ready"
Emma and Josh both jumped into his arms, hugging him so tightly he had to peel them off "I'll see you soon"
"Bye Daddy" said Josh, kissing his cheek "I love you"
"I love you both too" said Ross, as he closed the door behind him, turning his key to lock the door and walking downstairs and out into the sunshine.
He headed across the road, towards Joey and Chandler's apartment block.
He walked into Monica and Chandler's apartment to see Joey and Chandler sitting on the couch, watching a football game. Neither turned around when he entered.
"Guys" he said, getting no answer he repeated himself "GUYS"
Both jumped and turned around
"Hey man," said Chandler "What's going on?"
"Nothing much" said Ross, joining them on the couch and saying to Joey "Dude, Don't you have a home to go to?"
"I do but me and the lady of the home had a fight," said Joey "Phoebe told me to get out and go over to Chandler's to watch the football. She's being very mean to me lately"
"Where's Mon?" Ross asked Chandler "And Jamie and Taylah?"
"They went across the hall," said Chandler "Basically we swapped, I get rid off Monica and gain Joey"
"Fair enough" said Ross, grabbing a beer off the table
"How are things with you?" asked Chandler "Did you talk to Rachel?"
"Yeah" said Ross "And other things"
"Other things?" said Joey suspiciously "What other things?"
"Well we were talking, then I bumped into her when she was coming out of the bathroom, She was wrapped in a towel and boy did she look hot, She was complaining of neck pain so I gave her a massage and I guess one thing led to another" said Ross
"You didn't?" said Chandler
"We did," said Ross
"Are you serious?" asked Joey "She actually had sex with you again, after everything you've done?"
"So, are things looking up?" said Chandler, smiling
"I wish I could say Yes," said Ross "Once we were finished, with the.uh .stuff. She got upset because all she could think about was me doing that with someone who wasn't her, all she could see was Amanda's face"
"So she was picturing a woman when you were having sex" said Joey with a cheeky look on his face "Nice"
"Get your mind out of the gutter Joey," said Ross "It wasn't during, it was after"
"Sorry" he said "Go on"
"And then she said that she can't do it, she can't live her life, be with me and having Amanda's head popping up all the time" said Ross
He went silent for a moment
"And..." prompted Chandler
"She said that it was her problem, she needed to learn how to forgive, and how to forget but when I offered to help her she told me that wouldn't help, because I'm part of the problem"
"Whoa" said Joey "That had to hurt"
"What did you say?" asked Chandler
"I told her I would step back, let her make up her mind, sort out her issues" said Ross "What else could I say?"
"Don't ask me" said Joey "I'd never cheat on Phoebe, she'd cut my balls off"
"So I'm taking Em and Josh out this afternoon" said Ross "I'm so grateful she's letting me see the kids again, I've missed them so much"
"That's good then," said Chandler, slapping his shoulder
"She still loves me ya'know," said Ross "She told me today, I told her I loved her and she said she loves me too"
"It's going to work out," said Joey "I know it is"
"I agree," said Chandler "You guys have been through so much to just throw it all away"
"I can only hope. Hope that our love for each other is enough for us to make it through this" said Ross "God this morning was so amazing, I didn't realise how much I had missed the physical side of our relationship. Feeling her body, her skin, her lips against mine, I love every single part of her"
"That good?" said Joey
"It really was" said Ross "Out of this world"
"I gotta go make up with Phoebe," said Joey, standing up and walking towards the door "See ya"
"I better go too" said Ross "I told Rach I'd be back for the kids in an hour and I want to go the store first"
"Have fun" said Chandler "I'm going to sit here on my lonesome until Mon comes back with the kids and chaos begins"
"Sounds great," said Ross "I'll see you later"
(Ross and Rachel's)
Rachel was struggling to dress Joshua, against his wishes when she heard a knock at the door.
"Emma, can you get it Sweetie?" she called out in the direction of Emma's bedroom.
No answer came so she called out "Who is it?"
"It's me" came Ross' reply
She looked at the clock; he was early "Come in"
He came in the door and saw her wrestling with Joshua.
"What's going on here?" he asked
"I don't want to get dressed," said Josh, breaking free and running into Ross's arms, clad in his jocks and Singlet
Rachel stood up, defeated.
"Will you let Daddy dress you?" she asked Josh
"Yes" he said
"Well go ahead Daddy," said Rachel, handing him a pair of Bob the Builder overalls and a T-Shirt. "I'll get the other one"
She walked out of the living room and Ross sat down on the couch, with Joshua in his lap
"Are you being naughty for Mommy?" he asked
"Yep" replied Joshua with a laugh
"That's not very nice," said Ross
"Oh well" said Joshua
"Oh well, not Oh well" said Ross "When did you become such a cheeky little boy?"
Rachel was on her way back into the living room, when she heard them talking. She paused in the doorway
"Mommy deserves a break," said Ross "She's been through a lot lately"
"She has?" said Joshua
"Yeah, most of it being Daddy's fault but he's trying to make up for it" said Ross "Do you know how much Daddy loves you, Emma and your Mommy?"
"This much?" said Josh, spreading his little arms out as wide as they could go.
"That much and more" said Ross, spreading his arms out farther
"That's lots," said Joshua "I love you that much too but I want you to stay here"
"That's good to hear," said Ross "And I'm trying as hard as I can, to get Mommy to let me come home, I don't think she knows just how much I miss her"
"Lots" suggested Joshua
"Yeah" said Ross "Lots"
Rachel was standing, listening with a thoughtful expression on her face when Emma bumped into her from behind, causing her to jump and smack her hand off the door frame
"Shit!!" she cursed loudly, causing Ross to look up "Emma that hurt"
"Sorry Mommy" she said, running by her and jumping on the couch next to Ross "Hi Daddy"
"Hey Princess" said Ross, kissing her head "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure am," she said brightly
"I guess we'll be off then" he said, "Do you have your sunhat Sweetie?"
"No" said Emma, looking around the room
"I'll get it," said Rachel, walking out, locating the hat in Emma's messy room and coming back into the living room.
"Here you go honey," she said, handing her the hat "Have a good afternoon guys"
"What are you doing this afternoon?" asked Ross, "Being free of your children for a few hours"
"Nothing probably" said Rachel "Visit Monica and Phoebe maybe, same old stuff"
"Do you want to come?" asked Ross hesitantly
"Uh." said Rachel "I don't know"
"Come Mommy" said Emma "Daddy really wants you too"
"Does he now?" said Rachel, looking at Ross
"He thinks it would be fun," said Ross "Come on"
"I'm not even dressed," said Rachel, looking down at herself wearing only her underwear and her robe
"We'll wait won't we kids?" said Ross
"We will," said Emma "Hurry Mommy"
"All right" said Rachel "You've convinced me, I'll be 2 minutes"
She went into the bedroom, grabbed a pair of ¾ cargo pants, a Singlet top and some thongs, throwing them on before running a brush through her still damp hair.
She went out and found Emma pacing by the door "Are you ready?"
"I am" said Rachel, grabbing her handbag and picking up Joshua
"Let's go then," said Ross, grabbing Emma's hand as they went out the front door.
(Central Park)
Ross and Rachel were sitting on the grass, watching Emma and Josh spin round and round on a piece of equipment, Rachel laughing as Josh hopped off, very dizzy and fell down.
"We make some cute kids don't we?" said Ross
"We do" said Rachel "It helps that they have 2 attractive parents, they've got good genes"
"Yeah" said Ross
"Joshua looks like you though," said Rachel "He has the same goofy personality too"
"Hey." said Ross "I'm not a goof"
"You are a goof," said Rachel "I should call you BG, short for big goof"
"You're lucky I'm such a gentleman, or else I would have drop rolled you right down this hill" joked Ross "But I won't"
Rachel smiled "I know"
They sat, just watching the kids for a while. Emma was chasing Joshua, who Rachel could see was becoming tired out and sure enough, he collapsed on the grass, laughing madly a few moments later.
Rachel looked at Ross and could see the look of happiness on his face as he watched his children play; she knew that they truly were his everything.
"Hey, you know what I said this morning" began Rachel "I didn't mean that it was never going to happen, I just meant that I needed some time, to sort out my thoughts before I made any decisions, you know?"
'Yeah I know" said Ross "It's going to take time"
"But you won't move on will you?" asked Rachel
"No way Rachel" said Ross "If things don't work out between us, then that is it for me. There can never be anyone else, if I don't get you back in my arms then I will never be with a woman again. Pure and Simple"
"You don't mean that," said Rachel "Seriously"
"I do" said Ross "I will never find another person who can make me feel the way you do, who makes me laugh, who makes me smile, who makes me feel eternally grateful to have met them. I don't know why it took my unfaithfulness to make me see how lucky I am to have you, how lucky I am to have you as my wife"
"You didn't realise that before?" asked Rachel
"No, I did but it took something stupid to make me think about it again" said Ross "If I got you back, I would never do anything to mess it up, Ever"
"Could that be another promise?" asked Rachel "Considering your track record with promises"
"It is a promise" said Ross "I've learnt my lesson twice over, there is nothing more in this world that means as much to me as repairing the damage I've done, making you have faith and trust in me again. Making you my wife again"
"I'm still your wife," said Rachel "Estranged maybe but I haven't signed any divorce papers"
"Yet" said Ross
"I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel
Ross was stunned by her revelation and his hopes were instantly lifted "You're not?"
"No" said Rachel, looking up at the sky then looking back down at him "I mean I should, but I won't"
"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that," said Ross, grabbing her hand "What does this mean?"
"It means that I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel "Whatever comes next, I'm not so sure about yet"
"What should I say?" said Ross "But what about what you said before, about thinking and making decisions?"
"You could shut up for once and hug me," said Rachel "I'm a little chilly"
Ross grinned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close
"I'm not ready to have you at home yet" said Rachel "But I think I am ready to start over"
"Are you sure?" asked Ross
"Yeah" said Rachel, deliberating over her decision. This wasn't something she could throw away, She nodded slowly "I am"
TBC
