Hey funky people! Well I know this fic sucks but I don't really care cause I do it for fun when I'm crazy… so yeah please enjoy and review!! Thank you!!

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Harry Potter in Hobbiton

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Chapter 2

After lunch the group was standing around in circle when there was a sudden pop. They turned around and saw Dobby the house elf standing there looking at them.

"Dobby! What are you doing here?" Harry asked surprised.

"Mr. Harry Potter sir! I had a feeling you were in trouble so I came to defend you!" Dobby squeaked, his large eyes filled with anxiousness.

"Oh Dobby you're so sweet! But there's no one here trying to hurt me!" Harry said smiling at Dobby while twisting a used tissue in his hand.

Meanwhile in the bushes two males (A/N: Well I think they are… I'm not really sure… you'll know who I'm talking about in a little while!) put their guns back into their striped pants pockets.

Back with Harry Potter…

"Harry would you mind introducing me to your little friend here?" Sam asked looking at Dobby and winking in a seductive way. Dobby looked back and giggled.

"Um excuse me Sam, but weren't you just making out with me before?" Hermione asked glaring at Sam.

"Oh move along little girl! I'm with Dobby now!" Sam replied still looking at Dobby and giving him little winks every now and then.

"Fine! I'll go back to Victor; he gave me better sex than you ever will!" Hermione yelled at him.

"You had sex with him?" Ron asked shocked, "But I was supposed to be with you!"

"Ron I'd never get with you even if you were the last man on Earth!" Hermione told him disgusted.

"Don't talk to my Ronnikins like that! I'll kill you I will!" Gimli growled at her.

"And exactly how are you going to do that, you little dwarf?" Hermione asked.

"WITH MY AXE!" Gimli bellowed grabbing his axe from his belt. Then suddenly his axe turned into a rubber chicken.

"HA!" Hermione yelled, "It's one of Fred and George's fake wands!"

Gimli looked at it then stuffed it all in his mouth and swallowed. Everyone stared at him.

"Erm… I've always wanted to try chicken," He mumbled.

"Anyway Sam, why the hell would you want to get with a little house elf?" Hermione asked trying to cover up the awkward silence. But when she turned to look at Sam he wasn't there. Hermione saw a bush moving in the distance and heard a couple of noises from it which sounded a lot like Dobby. Hermione had the feeling she didn't want to look in that bush. Hermione fell to the ground and started crying. Her one true love had left her.

"Herm-own-ninny! I love you!" A voice yelled from the bottom of the hill. Everyone turned and looked. Victor Krum was running up the hill towards them. When he reached where they were standing he sat down on the ground next to Hermione and starting pashing her. The pashing quickly changed to taking each others clothes off. Everyone at this point decided to leave them alone.

Suddenly there was another pop behind them. They all turned and looked. There were two people lying on the ground. One of them was the old school Quidditch captain Oliver Wood and the other was a tall, tanned, dark haired, pretty girl who looked around 13 or 14.

"Tegan!" Bridget yelled, "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I don't know! One minute I was at home eating a clock (A/N: Sorry Teg!! I had to have something weird happen in here!) and the next minute I was here!" Tegan replied looking around. She stood up and looked around.

"Oh my god!" She said shocked, "I am in Hobbiton! Oh and there's Harry, Ron, Parvati, Gimli and Legolas."

She then looked behind her and saw Krum and Hermione fully naked on the grass.

"EUWWWW! I SO DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THAT!" she yelled, disgusted. She then looked next to her and saw Oliver Wood looking at her. She smiled and he smiled back.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Oliver asked her. Tegan smiled and nodded and they walked off into the distance holding hands.

"Well that was a quick visit," Bridget said watching them walk away.

Suddenly two bananas' jumped out of the woods.

"Hey!! You're the Bananas In Pajamas!" Bridget yelled.

"Yes we are… and holy cricket your Harry Potter!" B1 said, "erm I mean we are here to kill you Harry,"

"Hey that was MY line!" Hermione yelled from the ground. B1 and B2 looked at them then they covered their eyes.

"I AM BLINDED FOR LIFE!!!" they both yelled in unison.

"Anyway what were you two saying about here to kill me?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Yes… we are here to kill you so run!" They both yelled and then they chased after Harry.

"Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs, bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears, cause on Tuesdays they try to catch them unaware!" Bridget started singing while they ran around in circles.

Everyone looked at her strangely.

"Err… I used to watch them on TV," she said quickly.

"Yes, yes that's a likely story! Everyone makes up stupid excuses… that one's just gone TOO FAR!" Harry said loudly.

"Harry… are you okay?" Bridget asked.

"Oh I've just been eating some magic mushrooms! AHAHAHAHA!" Harry yelled gleefully. 

Everyone looked at him. Harry quickly shoved a used tissue in his mouth and ate it quickly.

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