Cry a Little For Me
By Sukunami Taka
This is a sequel to Kei's fic 'If You Only Knew'….
A solitary youth walked slowly, his surroundings a mere blur to him. Hunched over with his hands deep in his pockets, a woeful sigh escaped from pouting lips. A pitiful breeze rustled past, ruffling through his dusky locks that fell over his demure oak-brown eyes. Ambling along with short strides, he was oblivious to everything until a cheerful voice brought him out of his dark thoughts.
His pale, slightly sunken face tilted sideways when he spotted a spiky haired teen, with eyes of the brightest sapphires and a seducing smile that just made his heart beat pulse harder……..then he noticed the lean dispassionate guy next to the sixteen-year old and he faltered.
His hands clenched as he made his way to the two, then he braved on an unsure smile. His breath quickened with each step……..until…
"Sempai….ohaiyo…."
The jubilant Sendoh Akira looked at him in surprise, one hand still tugging on the reluctant rookie's sleeve as he was in the process of persuading him to got to the festival, but he nodded to his younger teammate.
"Jus….Koshino……"
Rukawa Kaede just stared at him with piercingly cool azure eyes.
"Anon, sempai….." Koshino Hiroaki hesitated, "Want to practice later?"
Sendoh blushed, almost apologetically….rousing a stirring pain within the brown-eyed youth who already knew the answer…..
"Komen, Kosh….I'd love to…demo….Kae-chan and I kindda have some plans….."
"Oh…"
Seeing the disappointment upon his friend's face, Sendoh quickly added, "Eto…..want to come? We're going to the Tanabata Festival tonight…."
Koshino could see that it was a forced invitation and politely declined with a heavy heart. As he watched the two aces, previously fierce competitors going off in the distance , Sendoh with one arm casually slung around Rukawa's shoulder, he wondered why he felt this way…….the longing to be with his senior like they used to be……and the bitter dislike towards the young uncaring rookie………but then, he already knew…..
Night came on silently, cloaking the rumbling bus. Koshino dreamily stared out of the window, undisturbed, as he was one of the few passengers on board. His thoughts swirled in his troubled mind…..
Nande…….why does it have to be like this……Sendoh sempai….iya….why do I keep thinking of him…..him and…..that overconfident icebox of a Rukawa…..Aki-kun…..we used to be close….ne….. I was his best friend…….now all he does is hang with his……yah mah tae……I shouldn't be thinking this……what is wrong with me……I…..bokuwa baka….demo…..Sendoh…..Aki-kun…..huh……sou des ka………aishteru des……baka watashiwa aishteru………
Something passed by and Koshino jerked to attention. The bus was halted next to the square where the Tanabata Festival was held, and just there, hidden in the comfort of a tree, was a couple….
Sempai and Rukawa, Koshino realized, and his heart leaped as the older youth bent closed, gently seeking for the rookie's lips, his tongue flitting out teasingly licking Rukawa's lower lip, then his mouth closed in for a full heated kiss….
Flashback~ "Nande!?!" yelled Koshino, his body taut with tension as he glared at the baby blue-eyed youth, "Nande des ka!?! It doesn't matter what others think! You never cared, why do you care now?!? You know how I feel….why do you still hesitate?! Answer me, Akira!"
Sendoh spunned around, an adamant derisive frown upon his strong shaped face, "It isn't easy, ok?" he muttered softly, containing himself.
"Nan….!"
"Yah mah tae ro, Hiro! This is final, ok!?! We can't be together, so just deal with it!!!!" He stalked off with a stormy gaze, leaving Koshino alone in the room…..falling back in despair, his head clutched in his hands…….~
"Sempai…." His quiet voice broke up the kiss….Rukawa drew back with a slight pout, the shadows masking his ivory like face. Sendoh was clearly shocked, his cerulean eyes narrowing darkly, "Koshino, nani des?"
With his head bowed, the emotion-filled lad did not let his senior see that he was trembling, "Aki-kun…nande? Why do you do this to me?"
"What are you…"
"You know how I felt…..still feel about you….nande? I accepted your decision because I thought it would affect your basketball career…but now….now you are….nande, sempai?"
"Koshino, this is not the time…."
"You used to call me Hiro-chan….why don't you do that anymore? We were great together….."
"Koshino…..yah mah tae…….."
"NANDE!!!!! Answer me!!!!! Why him????Is he better??? Is it because he's better in basketball?? Nande? Wa ka taie mash ta maiee yon!!! Why are you with that f***ing b****!!!!???????"
"Urusai!!"
The side of Koshino's cheek burned…..he lifted his head to look into the eyes of the man he loved, the startling blue eyes that now held anger and stared back with none of the feelings that he felt…
"Nande……Aki-kun………..you would hit me…just for him? I would do anything for you………..loved you with everything that I've got…..do you still remember all that we used to share…? I would do anything……you just have to ask……what do you want that would convince you of my love….of my desire?"
"Why don't you just die?"
"……"
"Die for me, Hiro-kun. That's what I want. Can you do it? I don't care about us……I don't care about what you can give, alright? Why don't you just leave me alone?"
"is that what you want…."
"Yes………..come on, Kaede……." Pulling Rukawa along, Sendoh retreated to the shadows…
A tear fell upon the ground……..
---
Sendoh opened the door, one hand holding a towel to his damp hair. Outside stood Aida Hikoichi, looking rather sheepish. Ryonan's ace grinned, "Nani?"
"Anon……komen….demo….."
"Hai?"
"I'm……arre…………Koshino……."
"Ko……..oh………" Sendoh looked away, "What does he want now? I don't know what's wrong with him, honestly. Just a few hours ago, he blew such a fit……….."
Hikoichi bit his lip, his busy hands nearly tearing apart his notebook.
"Koichi?"
"Ah? Oh……ano………..I'm worried about Koshino sempai….."
"What about?"
"I…..don't really know……..I saw him on the way to the festival, but when I tried to talk to him, he just continued walking……….."
"Is that all………he's always…"
"Iya, Sendoh-kun………Koshino…he's been abit off the last few days…and the rest of the guys are worried too………..Uozumi even tried to call him a few times but his phone has been switched off……."
"He's just….."
A muffled beeping came from Hikoichi. He hurriedly dug out his phone and pressed some buttons. The expression on his face slowly changed from puzzlement to horror….
"Koshino's hurt!"
~
I guess this is what dying feels like………..it's not so bad…ne…….just sort of getting sleepy…..everything is going all grey…..well….except the blood……it's till bright red…….
His eyelids struggled to flutter…there were harsh voices around him…yelling…..shouting…..he wanted to tell them to be quiet…..to just listen……..he could hear singing…….
Warm arms gathered his still body up, cradling him gently…..hot splashes fell on his cold skin…his light brown eyes opened and saw the watery ones of Sendoh…..and he smiled…….
"Aki-kun….."
"sshhhhhhhh…..don't speak……..you need to relax…….it'll be alright….the ambulance is coming….."
"iya, Aki-kun…….I'm going………"
"ssssshhhh…don't…"
"I'm happy, Aki-kun………..I finally did something right…….this is what you want……….."
"Baka………what are you saying………I don't want you to die…."
"Sou des ka…….I guess I must have heard wrong then…….it doesn't matter now…….."
"Kosh……"
"I'm just sorry it's not the night of the celestial lovers…….that was….last night…..Tanabata…………you know the story, ne….Aki-kun…?"
"Hai…….."
"Could you just tell it to me….like you did the first time?"
"Hai……ssshhh……..there were two lovers…..both were fated to never be together, but they believed in the stronger power of love, and was determined to run away so that they could be with one another…..but as the fates work, before they could meet each other on the bridge, one died…and the other killed herself………the heavens took pity upon the lovers and allowed their spirits to meet one another only on one night……the night of the Tanabata Festival………………ssshhhh, it's ok…….there, it's done…"
"arigato……….Aki-kun…………..I guess I would go first then, Aki-kun………"
"Yah mah tae…..you're not going anywhere……….."
"Sou des ka………"
"Where are they?!? Where are the paremedics??"
"Aki-kun………." Koshino coughed hackingly, spewing blood across….
"shhhhhh………don't……..don't speak……."
"I must…..just……..one thing…..before…….before I won't see you again…….."
"Of course you are………it'll be alright…."
"aishteru………Aki-kun……"
"Kosh………..it's ok….come on….stay with me here…..Kosh!"
"Sendoh-kun…"
"NANI!?" snapped the worried youth, his brows furrowed as his mind whirled in confusion…..
Hikoichi silently handed him a piece of paper and bowed…….slowly, the blue eyes trailed along the words….
I held my desire,
For you to love me,
As I did you,
Yet I only see the ice,
Refusal in your eyes,
Through lonely nights,
The fire grew,
As did your coldness,
If it is to see you smile,
Demand my death,
Then farewell to this life,
I'll hold you in the next.
Aishteru…..hontorni..Aki-kun…..
Hiro…
The paper crumpled…..and he quivered as tears streamed down his face……
Holding the lifeless body close, Sendoh finally realized what he had done……and he sobbed against the young boy's neck……choking calls of "Hiro-kun..." at last said by the devastated love one of Koshino Hiroaki…..
Koshino's poem is available at fictionpress.net
