Late night talk
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The days seemed to pass quickly and slowly at the same time. They comprised of getting up late, eating hearty breakfasts, swimming or fishing in the lake. Going for walks through the forests or along the trails by the waters edge. Two days had passed and Sam thought they had passed slowly as they went by but settling in front of the log fire for the third night she felt like the week was too quickly coming to an end. Tomorrow would prove to be slightly different as they had promised the General and Janet they would telephone halfway during the week to say how they were. Only thing was they would have to drive into the small town twenty miles away to get to a phone. It would give them a change of scene, although Sam was quite happy to stare at the scenes around her. It was a well deserved rest from their busy lives.
Tealc had settled by her as Jack and Jonas prepared supper. Sam felt spoilt, the men, especially Tealc had been insistent on cooking. She had managed to cook dinner the day before but since then, they had all taken dibs in the kitchen. Sam sat back and smiled, if they wanted to they could, gave her more time to do nothing. She wondered why she did not feel guilty at herself for taking so much pleasure in doing nothing. It was so much unlike her. Sam Carter did not sit around doing nothing for hours on end.
"May I say you are looking better everyday Samantha?" said Tealc looking over at her from his end of the couch
"Aw thanks Tealc" replied Sam from her half-reclined position. She flashed her friend an appreciative smile "It's so relaxing here. I feel like I could stay here forever"
"You say that now but it gets cold in winter Sam" shouted Jack from the kitchen.
Tealc smiled and turned his gaze to the burning fire.
"Does the lake freeze over during the winter months O'Neill?"
"Actually T it does, why?"
"Are you able to fish in the lake at winter?"
"Not unless you get a sledge hammer and break a hole in the ice. Then of course you've gotta be willing to sit out in the cold and freeze your ass off hoping for a bite. So to answer your question, nope you cant fish in the winter"
"Then I agree with Samantha. This would be a most pleasing place to stay, Especially during winter"
Sam took a sly glance over to Jack back to Tealc and burst into laughter. She shook her head and giggled until tears filled her eyes, God how long had it been since she had had a good out and out laugh. Tealc certainly knew when to test his humour out on them. She had to hold her side as a stitch started her laughter becoming uncontrollable for a moment when she heard Tealc's own hearty laugh joining with her own. When they both managed to semble some sort of composure Sam wiped her tear filled eyes to glance over at Jack and Jonas who were standing staring in complete surprise, possibly as Tealc's hearty laugh. Sam sighed and stretched a little more on the sofa. It felt like, for a moment, the black cloud, which had been plaguing her, had lifted a little in that small moment. Tealc still sitting with a beaming smile on his face stared into the fire.
Jack and Jonas looked at each other in surprise as Sam and then Tealc started to laugh heartily. They looked over at the two, Sam was holding her side giggling, and Tealc had his head thrown back in laughter. Certainly seemed contagious over there. Jonas' smile grew wider as he watched the two sharing the joke. Jack watched Sam; it was about time she had a good laugh. It had been a rarity. When the two finally stopped laughing for a moment Sam had looked in his direction and he swore he saw the familiar old sparkle which seemed to light the whole of her eyes. That was also something he missed, he was glad to see it returning. He smiled back to her before bending back over the grill cooking the fish, which he and Jonas had caught, that day proving there was indeed fish in his lake.
He served the fish along with grilled vegetables and a sauce Jonas had made up, after memorising a cookbook. They settled down by the fire, Sam slipped down from her corner of the sofa to the floor by the coffee table nearer the fire to eat. Jonas took her place on the sofa; Jack took a seat by the fireside near Sam. They chatted about the day's events, the kind of idle chitchat that most family shared. There were plenty of other things to talk about but no one was willing to dispel the good laid back atmosphere talking of the week before events, yet each one knew it was inevitable the subject would have to be addressed.
Sam set her plate in the middle of the table as jack poured red wine out for herself and Jonas. He and Tealc had a beer each. Sam hugged her knees to her chest, one arm wrapped around them, and the other hand picking up the glass from the table. She raised it to her lips but did not sip. Her thoughts were filled with memories and images, the light of the fire reminded her of Baal's chamber and she involuntarily shivered. She closed her eyes and pushed the images of that place from her mind. She jumped slightly and tensed as hands rested lightly on her shoulders and pinched softly.
"You ok Sam?" asked Jack from behind her softly.
She relaxed once more and nodded her head.
"Yeah just memories I'd rather soon forget" she replied honestly. If they ever came across alien with the technology to erase certain memories, shed gladly give herself as a test subject.
"We'd all like to forget," said Jack, his fingers gently massaging into her shoulders.
Sam took a sip of her wine and relaxed as Jacks fingers gently kneaded. She nodded, in agreement that is why they were at the cabin.
"Its funny how certain things, smells or images can bring back memories. Make it feel like they happen just yesterday"
"Wanna talk about it?" asked Jonas quietly from the sofa where he was staring past Sam into the flames of the fire. Sam looked over to him but his gaze was concentrated on watching the burning embers. She reached over and set another log on the fire, before leaning back against Jack's chair.
"Just the light from the fire, its like the same light" she paused, Tealc and Jonas didn't even know the full story, in fact she couldn't remember telling even the General or Janet about the torture chamber. Just that Baal had captured them.
"The same light as the torture chamber" finished off Jack. He had thought the same thing. He agreed it was strange that such a small thing could jolt a memory. Jack stole a glance to Tealc and Jonas, who both kept silent. Jonas looked slightly taken aback but catching Jack's glance shifted in his seat took a sip of his wine and waited for either of the two to continue. Tealc kept his gaze on the dancing flames. Jack looked down at Sam, who had nodded softly. Jack was about to continue but Sam seemed to shake herself a little, sat further back. She shifted her position to sit sideways, legs curled under her. She lay an arm comfortably over Jacks legs, turning her back to the fire.
"Some stuffs so vague. It is like waking from a dream and not remembering. Then an image will be so vivid in my mind; I can remember how I felt, what was going on. What was going through my mind? I remember being restrained on this cold hard surface. It felt like concrete, my head was pounding and my body was aching. I could hear sounds, but the light was so dim it was impossible to see. It was like that for a while. I forget what happened then. Maybe I had passed out, nothing happened for so long, or maybe I just do not remember. I do remember feeling tired and weak, and I couldn't think because my head felt like lead. I woke up at one point and there was a man there, he was the one who put those instruments on me. He was so, so revolting. He was leering as he placed instruments on me, at one point he was cutting off my clothing and I remember the way he was looking down at me. I thought maybe, maybe he was going too"
Sam paused her voice breaking slightly, and shivered again, this time a little more violently. She could see his face so clearly and yet in hindsight, looking at what she had suffered at the hands of Baal, maybe what Dal'ric may have done would have been better than what had happened. She smiled and took a sip of wine.
"Funny how a dim light can bring back all that to me"
Jack leaned forward and ran a hand along her arm for a moment.
"I remember seeing you lying on that table. And seeing that Gould's eyes. The pleasure in them. I'll never forget that look. It brought back memories of the first time. I remember thinking if I didn't get out of there, I would have told him everything. Given him iris codes, gate co ordinates. Gladly become his servant just to not go through it all repeatedly. When I back the first time, the amount of guilt I felt was overwhelming. The thought that a few more times and things would have been so different. We wouldn't be sitting here now talking like this for one. He knew who I was, and he knew how close I had been to giving up, handing my life into his hands willingly. He knew he could break me, and he was going to use Sam as bait, and then once he got me he knew he'd have her."
"But he did not break you or Samantha, O'Neill. Moreover, you defeated him. Together you fought, the way you always have. The way We always have, as a team. I doubt very much any others would have been able to survive the first time as well as a second"
"We worried and fretted but we never doubted you'd be back. All the SGC knew you'd be back. To be honest we had no idea if you'd been taken to the fortress or taken by ship elsewhere. However, speaking as someone who hasn't been around that long, the people at the SGC they just don't give up, like there's some unspoken rule about keeping up all hope. On Kelowna, things are so different. Trust is not something you earn or place in someone. Its something that got to be proved, you fail, you cant be trusted, faith isn't given just by face value, by the fact you work as a certain rank. If you are good at your job that is great, but woe, betide anyone who fails. You aren't given second chances. If something like this had happened on Kelowna, they would have given up on you within days. I am not saying it is the people, it is the government and on Kelowna, the government rules practically with an iron fist. I just did not realise until I came here. I think it's the first time in my life I've ever lost sleep worrying over people. All other times its over some superficial thing, like the Naquadria research. Would the bomb be assembled in time, would it be effective. Never people"
Jonas was talking down at his hands, which were holding the stem of the wineglass. He managed to raise his eyes and he lifted the glass to his lips. It was a hard thing to admit especially about his own people, but he had started the path when he had stolen the Naquadria and brought it to the SGC. Since then, he had been learning things about people and himself and the faults in everyone. He also saw change in himself and it was something he was personally proud of. The fact it had not been too late to change. Sam smiled over to him as he raised his eyes for a moment. She knew it had been a hard thing for him to say, but like all things with Jonas, he had handled it well. She suddenly felt very tired and laid her head on her arm closing her eyes for a moment. It had felt strangely easy to open and tell them what she remembered, there was more but she had to deal with things slowly. The memories were still vivid but after sharing, they did not seem so sinister. She smiled as she dosed. It certainly was good to talk. And the presence of three important people in her life made it that much easier to say. She yawned, maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the heat, probably both. She felt jack urging her from using his legs as a pillow.
"I think maybe someone needs an early night"
She smiled and sat up Jack stood and helped pull her too her feet. He picked up some of the dishes and took them to the kitchen
"Maybe you right" she replied, before another yawn set in, she covered her mouth as she mumbled "Night tealc, night Jonas."
"Goodnight Samantha. Sleep well"
"Goodnight Sam" said Jonas standing "I think I'll turn in myself"
"Goodnight JonasQuinn"
"Night Tealc, night Jack"
He followed Sam who had disappeared down the hall towards her bedroom after taking some dishes to the kitchen and saying goodnight to Jack. Tealc joined Jack in the kitchen and helped Jack clear the dishes.
"Kids just can't keep up with the pace," said Jack absent mindedly as he wiped down a bench
"I think both feel somewhat relaxed after our talk tonight"
"Yeah" agreed Jack "Its always good to get thing off the chest and out into the open. I'm glad Sam started opening up a bit"
"I am sure I am safe in saying we could say the same of you O'Neill. I for one am glad yourself and Samantha have come through the experience safely"
"Is that your way for saying your glad to have us back T?"
Tealc bowed his head in agreement and placed the last dried dish on the counter.
"Thanks T I appreciate it"
"I think I may retire now O'Neill. Goodnight"
"Night T, see you in the morning"
Jack checked the windows and doors, a habit from home although probably unnecessary here and turned off the lights. He sat in his chair and watched as the fire embers burn down. He stamped the odd embers out, and after double checking all was safe set down the hall to check on Sam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The days seemed to pass quickly and slowly at the same time. They comprised of getting up late, eating hearty breakfasts, swimming or fishing in the lake. Going for walks through the forests or along the trails by the waters edge. Two days had passed and Sam thought they had passed slowly as they went by but settling in front of the log fire for the third night she felt like the week was too quickly coming to an end. Tomorrow would prove to be slightly different as they had promised the General and Janet they would telephone halfway during the week to say how they were. Only thing was they would have to drive into the small town twenty miles away to get to a phone. It would give them a change of scene, although Sam was quite happy to stare at the scenes around her. It was a well deserved rest from their busy lives.
Tealc had settled by her as Jack and Jonas prepared supper. Sam felt spoilt, the men, especially Tealc had been insistent on cooking. She had managed to cook dinner the day before but since then, they had all taken dibs in the kitchen. Sam sat back and smiled, if they wanted to they could, gave her more time to do nothing. She wondered why she did not feel guilty at herself for taking so much pleasure in doing nothing. It was so much unlike her. Sam Carter did not sit around doing nothing for hours on end.
"May I say you are looking better everyday Samantha?" said Tealc looking over at her from his end of the couch
"Aw thanks Tealc" replied Sam from her half-reclined position. She flashed her friend an appreciative smile "It's so relaxing here. I feel like I could stay here forever"
"You say that now but it gets cold in winter Sam" shouted Jack from the kitchen.
Tealc smiled and turned his gaze to the burning fire.
"Does the lake freeze over during the winter months O'Neill?"
"Actually T it does, why?"
"Are you able to fish in the lake at winter?"
"Not unless you get a sledge hammer and break a hole in the ice. Then of course you've gotta be willing to sit out in the cold and freeze your ass off hoping for a bite. So to answer your question, nope you cant fish in the winter"
"Then I agree with Samantha. This would be a most pleasing place to stay, Especially during winter"
Sam took a sly glance over to Jack back to Tealc and burst into laughter. She shook her head and giggled until tears filled her eyes, God how long had it been since she had had a good out and out laugh. Tealc certainly knew when to test his humour out on them. She had to hold her side as a stitch started her laughter becoming uncontrollable for a moment when she heard Tealc's own hearty laugh joining with her own. When they both managed to semble some sort of composure Sam wiped her tear filled eyes to glance over at Jack and Jonas who were standing staring in complete surprise, possibly as Tealc's hearty laugh. Sam sighed and stretched a little more on the sofa. It felt like, for a moment, the black cloud, which had been plaguing her, had lifted a little in that small moment. Tealc still sitting with a beaming smile on his face stared into the fire.
Jack and Jonas looked at each other in surprise as Sam and then Tealc started to laugh heartily. They looked over at the two, Sam was holding her side giggling, and Tealc had his head thrown back in laughter. Certainly seemed contagious over there. Jonas' smile grew wider as he watched the two sharing the joke. Jack watched Sam; it was about time she had a good laugh. It had been a rarity. When the two finally stopped laughing for a moment Sam had looked in his direction and he swore he saw the familiar old sparkle which seemed to light the whole of her eyes. That was also something he missed, he was glad to see it returning. He smiled back to her before bending back over the grill cooking the fish, which he and Jonas had caught, that day proving there was indeed fish in his lake.
He served the fish along with grilled vegetables and a sauce Jonas had made up, after memorising a cookbook. They settled down by the fire, Sam slipped down from her corner of the sofa to the floor by the coffee table nearer the fire to eat. Jonas took her place on the sofa; Jack took a seat by the fireside near Sam. They chatted about the day's events, the kind of idle chitchat that most family shared. There were plenty of other things to talk about but no one was willing to dispel the good laid back atmosphere talking of the week before events, yet each one knew it was inevitable the subject would have to be addressed.
Sam set her plate in the middle of the table as jack poured red wine out for herself and Jonas. He and Tealc had a beer each. Sam hugged her knees to her chest, one arm wrapped around them, and the other hand picking up the glass from the table. She raised it to her lips but did not sip. Her thoughts were filled with memories and images, the light of the fire reminded her of Baal's chamber and she involuntarily shivered. She closed her eyes and pushed the images of that place from her mind. She jumped slightly and tensed as hands rested lightly on her shoulders and pinched softly.
"You ok Sam?" asked Jack from behind her softly.
She relaxed once more and nodded her head.
"Yeah just memories I'd rather soon forget" she replied honestly. If they ever came across alien with the technology to erase certain memories, shed gladly give herself as a test subject.
"We'd all like to forget," said Jack, his fingers gently massaging into her shoulders.
Sam took a sip of her wine and relaxed as Jacks fingers gently kneaded. She nodded, in agreement that is why they were at the cabin.
"Its funny how certain things, smells or images can bring back memories. Make it feel like they happen just yesterday"
"Wanna talk about it?" asked Jonas quietly from the sofa where he was staring past Sam into the flames of the fire. Sam looked over to him but his gaze was concentrated on watching the burning embers. She reached over and set another log on the fire, before leaning back against Jack's chair.
"Just the light from the fire, its like the same light" she paused, Tealc and Jonas didn't even know the full story, in fact she couldn't remember telling even the General or Janet about the torture chamber. Just that Baal had captured them.
"The same light as the torture chamber" finished off Jack. He had thought the same thing. He agreed it was strange that such a small thing could jolt a memory. Jack stole a glance to Tealc and Jonas, who both kept silent. Jonas looked slightly taken aback but catching Jack's glance shifted in his seat took a sip of his wine and waited for either of the two to continue. Tealc kept his gaze on the dancing flames. Jack looked down at Sam, who had nodded softly. Jack was about to continue but Sam seemed to shake herself a little, sat further back. She shifted her position to sit sideways, legs curled under her. She lay an arm comfortably over Jacks legs, turning her back to the fire.
"Some stuffs so vague. It is like waking from a dream and not remembering. Then an image will be so vivid in my mind; I can remember how I felt, what was going on. What was going through my mind? I remember being restrained on this cold hard surface. It felt like concrete, my head was pounding and my body was aching. I could hear sounds, but the light was so dim it was impossible to see. It was like that for a while. I forget what happened then. Maybe I had passed out, nothing happened for so long, or maybe I just do not remember. I do remember feeling tired and weak, and I couldn't think because my head felt like lead. I woke up at one point and there was a man there, he was the one who put those instruments on me. He was so, so revolting. He was leering as he placed instruments on me, at one point he was cutting off my clothing and I remember the way he was looking down at me. I thought maybe, maybe he was going too"
Sam paused her voice breaking slightly, and shivered again, this time a little more violently. She could see his face so clearly and yet in hindsight, looking at what she had suffered at the hands of Baal, maybe what Dal'ric may have done would have been better than what had happened. She smiled and took a sip of wine.
"Funny how a dim light can bring back all that to me"
Jack leaned forward and ran a hand along her arm for a moment.
"I remember seeing you lying on that table. And seeing that Gould's eyes. The pleasure in them. I'll never forget that look. It brought back memories of the first time. I remember thinking if I didn't get out of there, I would have told him everything. Given him iris codes, gate co ordinates. Gladly become his servant just to not go through it all repeatedly. When I back the first time, the amount of guilt I felt was overwhelming. The thought that a few more times and things would have been so different. We wouldn't be sitting here now talking like this for one. He knew who I was, and he knew how close I had been to giving up, handing my life into his hands willingly. He knew he could break me, and he was going to use Sam as bait, and then once he got me he knew he'd have her."
"But he did not break you or Samantha, O'Neill. Moreover, you defeated him. Together you fought, the way you always have. The way We always have, as a team. I doubt very much any others would have been able to survive the first time as well as a second"
"We worried and fretted but we never doubted you'd be back. All the SGC knew you'd be back. To be honest we had no idea if you'd been taken to the fortress or taken by ship elsewhere. However, speaking as someone who hasn't been around that long, the people at the SGC they just don't give up, like there's some unspoken rule about keeping up all hope. On Kelowna, things are so different. Trust is not something you earn or place in someone. Its something that got to be proved, you fail, you cant be trusted, faith isn't given just by face value, by the fact you work as a certain rank. If you are good at your job that is great, but woe, betide anyone who fails. You aren't given second chances. If something like this had happened on Kelowna, they would have given up on you within days. I am not saying it is the people, it is the government and on Kelowna, the government rules practically with an iron fist. I just did not realise until I came here. I think it's the first time in my life I've ever lost sleep worrying over people. All other times its over some superficial thing, like the Naquadria research. Would the bomb be assembled in time, would it be effective. Never people"
Jonas was talking down at his hands, which were holding the stem of the wineglass. He managed to raise his eyes and he lifted the glass to his lips. It was a hard thing to admit especially about his own people, but he had started the path when he had stolen the Naquadria and brought it to the SGC. Since then, he had been learning things about people and himself and the faults in everyone. He also saw change in himself and it was something he was personally proud of. The fact it had not been too late to change. Sam smiled over to him as he raised his eyes for a moment. She knew it had been a hard thing for him to say, but like all things with Jonas, he had handled it well. She suddenly felt very tired and laid her head on her arm closing her eyes for a moment. It had felt strangely easy to open and tell them what she remembered, there was more but she had to deal with things slowly. The memories were still vivid but after sharing, they did not seem so sinister. She smiled as she dosed. It certainly was good to talk. And the presence of three important people in her life made it that much easier to say. She yawned, maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the heat, probably both. She felt jack urging her from using his legs as a pillow.
"I think maybe someone needs an early night"
She smiled and sat up Jack stood and helped pull her too her feet. He picked up some of the dishes and took them to the kitchen
"Maybe you right" she replied, before another yawn set in, she covered her mouth as she mumbled "Night tealc, night Jonas."
"Goodnight Samantha. Sleep well"
"Goodnight Sam" said Jonas standing "I think I'll turn in myself"
"Goodnight JonasQuinn"
"Night Tealc, night Jack"
He followed Sam who had disappeared down the hall towards her bedroom after taking some dishes to the kitchen and saying goodnight to Jack. Tealc joined Jack in the kitchen and helped Jack clear the dishes.
"Kids just can't keep up with the pace," said Jack absent mindedly as he wiped down a bench
"I think both feel somewhat relaxed after our talk tonight"
"Yeah" agreed Jack "Its always good to get thing off the chest and out into the open. I'm glad Sam started opening up a bit"
"I am sure I am safe in saying we could say the same of you O'Neill. I for one am glad yourself and Samantha have come through the experience safely"
"Is that your way for saying your glad to have us back T?"
Tealc bowed his head in agreement and placed the last dried dish on the counter.
"Thanks T I appreciate it"
"I think I may retire now O'Neill. Goodnight"
"Night T, see you in the morning"
Jack checked the windows and doors, a habit from home although probably unnecessary here and turned off the lights. He sat in his chair and watched as the fire embers burn down. He stamped the odd embers out, and after double checking all was safe set down the hall to check on Sam.
