So, here's the first chapter! Sorry for the long wait, but it's long! And there's humour…

Also, some people had asked if there's going to be slash…well…no. I (asia) wanted at first, but since so many people protested, I changed my mind. If it disappointed you, I'm sorry!

Lastly, thanks for the reviews! Although most of it was asking about the slash thingy…

U-turn

Chapter 1

            "We shouldn't have come here." Pansy complained like a spoilt child and aimed her leather gloves annoyingly at Malfoy's mini head half hidden by the collar of his thick winter coat.

            "Whad da ya fhink ya are doin'" Malfoy swirled around and faced Pansy. "You're are the one foo suggested fhis drip fo Hogsmead for Frismas presents and fere you are grumblin' like Mcgonagall the pea-brain. If ya fhink it's cold fere, fen go back! Ya know, I'ad missed somth meetin' with Goyle and Crabbe back dere at Hogwadth just foo accompany ya fere?"

            "Oh, just forget it, Draco dear. I really can't hear your mufflin' clearly, so just let us treat it as if I've said nothin', ok?" Pansy continued to mutter "But I'm really cold…"

            Malfoy reached for Pansy's shoulders and rubbed it reassuringly, trying to apologise for his rudeness and to keep his girl warm at the same time. Pansy gave a sign of resignation and slipped her arm into Malfoy's, heading unknowingly towards Honeydukes around the corner of the street, covered in thick layers of snow.

*************

"Hey, wait a minute." Malfoy took a few steps backwards and came to a shop beside Honeydukes. "Look."

            Beside the crowed candy shop, a shop stood quietly and contentedly on the ground. Icicles formed on the roof and layers of snow had collected on the huge signboard.

            "'Wizard Wheezes'… sound like a trick-shop. And what's the word in front of 'Wizard Wheezes'?"

            "Beats me… wow! Look at these!"

            In the display window, a whole series of prank sets laid beautifully on the velvet cloth.

            "This is heaven." Malfoy breathed. "Let's get in there!"

            As the two stepped into the shop, they were greeted by —

*************

            "Fred, you dropped my quill."

            "So what?"

            "So, pick it up boy."

            "No, I won't"

            "Yes, you'll, bro."

            "No, I won't."

            "Aargh. Forget it." Both chorused as the twins squatted down together to reach for the fallen quill under the counter.

            Click. The door opened.

            "Psst, George, our very first customer of the day! Wait till he experience our latest designed door chime!" Fred whispered excitedly.

            "Way to go! Whoosh!"

*************

            As the two steeped into the newly opened shop, they were greeted by —

            "Snow huh?" Malfoy spatted some of it from his mouth.

            When they entered the shop, snow fell onto them and right away, they became snowmen.

            "Chill out!" That's what the door said. "Welcome!"

            Malfoy and Pansy struggled out of the snow and looked somewhat flustered. Malfoy looked a bit annoyed.

            "What is this? A door chime? A prank? I had enough, Pansy. Let's get outta here."

            "Wait a minute, people." The door slammed closed.

            "What is it now?" It certainly felt weird talking to a bewitched door in a prank shop.

            "Oh, sorry about the snow. Apologises!" The door sounded apologetic and continued. "Er… well, you are our very first customer! And erm…to make up for the prank, how about this? You are welcome to choose a product from our shop and it's for free! Free! Feel free to take anything from the shelf! Go ahead and enjoy yourself then!"

            "Is this another joke of yours, door?" Malfoy wondered if he really sounded stupid when Pansy giggled uncontrollably.

            "No."

            Malfoy then turned to Pansy who smiled knowingly at him and they were off to the shelves.

            All these while, the twins under the counter had been excitedly listening to the conversation between their first customer and the bewitched door. Now that the pair of customers had went off to the shelves…

"Fred, our door is great! We ought to feed his hinges with more oil later to reward him."

            "Yeah. But… Don't you find that voice familiar?" Fred questioned his twin.

            "Mmm. Quite true. I think I've heard it somewhere — "

            "In Hogwarts –—"

            "In Quidditch matches —"

            "In Slytherin —"

            "From their seeker —"

            "Draco Malfoy!" The twins gasped under the counter.

            "Did you hear someone calling my name, Pansy?" A nasty voice came from the shelves.

            "Erm…no."

            In the twin's fabulous minds, numerous pranks and tricks showed up in the speed of light. And in unison, they thought up of a well-developed plan. Perhaps the best plan they've ever came up with. And Fred started talking loudly under the counter.

            "Oh! My dear Mark! Have you seen the potion I had just came up with? The extremely powerful one?"

            By now, Malfoy and Pansy had decided that the shopkeepers were indeed invisible.

            "Eh, Kenny, yes I did. What did you want that for? Isn't that supposed to be on the shelf, for sale?"

            "Yes, certainly. Just want to make sure." Fred winked at George.

            "Anyway, haven't you come up with the antidote for that deadly potion?"

            "Ay, ay, Mark! The potion's labelled 'Drink Me'. The antidote's called 'Eat Me'. You know, they are great for pranks! But I shall not speak of what's it for. Leave it to the one who is fated to find it among the numerous bottles of potions." George nudged Fred who was trying to act rather mysterious but had failed.

            "By the way, Kenny. I'll tell you where I've put the bottle." Making sure that Malfoy and Pansy were listening in the corner, "Cough. Ahem. It's on the second last shelf near the back of the shop. Fourth uppermost shelf, be careful with the ladder, and err, move your view down to the first shelf on the ground, move up to the third shelf, turn to your left and count six pink bottles containing orange bubbly brew, and when you come to the green bottle, sing! No, not yet, but singing does help in improving patience.

            "Then, erm. Move up to the sixth shelf, count twenty-one diamond shaped bottles on your right and move up to the eighth shelf and count three purple bottles diagonally and get to the lowest shelf; and go for the first bottle. Aha, you've got it!"

            After lots of shuffling noises, Malfoy finally emerged to the front of the shop with Pansy.

            And with the bottle of "Drink Me" clutched in his hand, his hair sticking out in different angles, they attempted to exit the shop and got snowed again.

            "Damnit." Malfoy swore, and they were off.

            Fred and George finally emerged from under the counter and shook their bums, giving each other high-fives.

            "Weasley Wizard Wheezes rules!" Whoosh!"

************

            "Now class, as the 'Simple Mind' potion requires your absolute concentration, I want everyone to pay keen attention to the ingredient list, especially you, Mr. Longbottom. Blah blah blah……" Professor Snape drone on in the Sixth year Gryffindor and Slytherin potion class.

            Draco Malfoy yawned as soon as he was not in his teacher's sight. This is so boring, he thought restlessly. I could practically do this in my sleep. He glanced across the room at his seat near the front of the classroom. Everyone was busily copying down notes, even Crabbe. He frowned as he rested his eyes on a certain redhead, sitting beside his best friend. Well, except for Weasley. He's always looking at Granger every time he thinks no one's looking. Ha. Everyone knows about his feelings towards the muggle-born. For once, Granger is in the dark about some thing.

            He looked down at the potion brewing perfectly in his cauldron and looked at his partner, Pansy. She was examining her freshly polished nails, blowing on it to make them dry faster. So, she must be feeling as bored as him. Well, time to spic things up.

            "Hey, Pansy." He tapped on her shoulder.

            "Remember the potion that we got at the joke shop? The one with a really funny name? 'Drink Me' or something like that?" he asked Pansy, whose attention was now fixed on him.

            "Of course I remembered, darling. What about it?"

            "Well, since we're both feeling that we're going to fall asleep any moment, I was thinking, why don't we mix them together?"

            Pansy looked at him as if he had grown two heads. "Draco dear, you know we can't do that. Snape will have our heads!"

            "Don't be silly, you honestly think that Snape will minus points from his own House?" He pointed out. "Anyway, I want to give 'lover boy', sitting in front of us, a surprise." He then whispered his plan to Pansy.

*************

            Everything was going as planned. Malfoy had mixed the potions together, waited tensely for a moment as it looked as if it was about to explode. When nothing happened, he relaxed and proceed to the next step: taunting Weasley.

            "Hey lover boy!" he whispered loudly, leaning forward.

            Ron turned around, much to his surprise. Lover boy, huh?

*************

            Ron looked around and found everyone else minding their own business, either throwing dried Billywig stings into their cauldrons or keeping themselves awake above the constantly popping bubbles of the vivid sapphire blue brew. He then turned and regarded Harry's fiddling of his new quill besides him, who felt just as weary as he did. At the back of the chilly dungeon, Snape was occupied in supervising a couple of Slytherins who had added an extra bezoar into their blend. Good, no one's looking.

            "Does Snape expect us to drink this vile concoction to let us get an experience out of it, or is he trying to massacre us the muggle way?" Parvati Patil thought aloud disapprovingly, while being choked by the dense purplish smoke rising from the cauldron.

            "Don't worry, Parvati. Though this stuff might look a bit intimidating with its colour, but it's safe. The bezoar we added was supposed to save one from most poisons, so even if the Billywig stings were poisonous, we'll be fine. Anyway, Billywig stings were said to be a component in the fizzing Whizbees I found in the pocket of your cloak you sent for laundry this morning."

            "What? This yucky stuff in my favourite candy? Hermione, where in the world did you get the idea from?"

            "Blimey, it's in our year one textbook! 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them' by Newt Scamanders. Line two on page four and lines three and four on page five. Seems to me that you've long forgotten about year one work already. The OWLs is just a few months away, Parvati."

            Parvati made a strangled noise in her throat and said nothing, while Hermoine rolled her eyes, stirring the potion listlessly.

            Ron was watching Hermione all these while, anticipating as a stranger in her conversation, admiring her ability and academic talent. He loves her straight forwardness, her wisdom, her seriousness at work which complement her cheerful character perfectly. 

            But how his heart ached! To Hermione, he was nothing as compared to Victor Krum, the famous, popular and skilful Quidditch player for England. His maturity was what Hermione preferred to Ron's childishness. Now that she and Victor are going out together, Ron had been trying to avoid her. But absence made the heart grew fonder instead of more hostile. The cruellest thing a girl can do to a guy is to make him fall in love when she does not intend to catch his fall at all…and that really hurts…

            "Hey lover boy!" Malfoy whispered loudly, leaning forward.

            Ron turned around, much to his surprise. Lover boy huh?

            "Yeah, I'm talking to you, redhead." Malfoy's evil smile curled into a taunting sneer.

            "What do you know, Malfoy? Mind your own business." Ron tried to act tough, but he can't. He swirled back into his seat and faced the front, humiliated. Even Malfoy, the last person he expected to know anything about his affection towards Hermione, had suspected that something was wrong. Though his tone, one could even deduce that Malfoy knew something was going on. And now what?

            "You can't run away from love, you know, Weasley." Malfoy smirked. "You've got to face it, lover boy. You fancy Granger, don't you?" At this point, Pansy giggled.

            "I don't know what you're talking about." A downright lie.

Malfoy gave a snort of satisfaction now that his plan was working.

            "Gee, I love your honesty. Guess what, lover boy? How about me helping you broadcast your true feelings towards Granger? She'll real glad. Oh on, wait. Doesn't she has a boyfriend now? Oh yes, Victor Krum, the Quiddtich expert. Oh gosh, even Pansy used to fancy him, don't you dearie?"

            Pansy nodded with much languishing.

            "Looks like you haven't got a chance huh, lover boy? I fell so sorry for you —"

            "Shut your filthy mouth, Malfoy." Harry finally turned around in anger, intolerable that his greatest enemy was humiliating his best friend.

            "Wow, the famous Harry Potter finally decided to stand up for his best friend huh? How brave of you."Malfoy's sarcasm worked its way through Ron's heartstrings as Malfoy reached for Pansy's hand to give it a kiss. "You'd better help your friend here. I think he's gotten it hot for the Granger girl."

            "Mind your own business, Malfoy. Be careful about your girl though. She's a great flirt. Before you even know it…right, Pansy?" Harry mocked back, hiding his anger.

            Malfoy gave a suspecting glance of fury at Pansy who fiddled with her quill nervously. Malfoy gave a disapproving snort and looked into his potion, as if it'll tell him the truth.

            Harry turned around and caught sight of Ron's face. Were Malfoy's words really true? The answer seemed obvious. Funny that he hadn't realise it though.

            "Ron, cheer up. And erm, …I'm sorry about it. Lately, I haven't been able to talk to you much." Harry confessed.

            "It's ok." And Ron muttered to himself. "Just rub salt into the wound."

            "What?" Harry was sure Ron had said something.

            "Nothing." (As if)

*************

            Just when Harry was comforting his friend, he noticed something strange was happening to Malfoy's potion.

            It was blowing up larger and more bubbles than expected. Could it be that Malfoy had finally messed up a potion? Unbelievable. Out of the corners of his eyes, he saw Malfoy smirking and slowly pushed his cauldron towards the edge of his desk.

            "No!" Harry cried, pulling Ron with him as he shielded both of them from the boiling liquid using his outer robes.

*************

            minutes earlier…

            Snape was examining a student's potion when he heard the short exchange between his favourite student and Weasley. Something about Weasley and Granger.

            He was just about to take away points from Gryffindor for bothering a fellow classmate with his non-existent love life when he stopped. His sharp eyes had seen that Malfoy's potion was about to blow up. Very soon.

            Using a speed that's usually used to save potions from spilling over his students, he dashed across the room. Heart beating too fast to see that Potter and his sidekick had already successfully protected themselves from harm.

            He could have cast a spell to save the concoction from exploding, but he wasn't expecting Malfoy to succeed in his plans and pushed the cauldron off his desk.

*************

            It was supposed to hit Weasley and then, he could laugh at his facial expression when the potion does whatever it was supposed to do.

            It most definitely was not supposed to hit his professor and watched his favourite potions master swallowed some of the potion in panic, eyes widening at the thought of what the potion could do.

            "Oh, shit." Malfoy stared at his teacher as he shrank bit by bit.

            It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but it did. He was going to get into so much trouble now, and he don't think his fearsome father could help him get out of this.

*************

            Harry and the others stared in horror as their hatred professor reached the size of a small child, smaller than most of the first years.

            So, watched in horror they all did when the now child-sized Snape blinked his eyes rather owlishly at them. He would be regarded as 'cute' if it wasn't for the fact that this is their greasy professor.

            If their eyes had only been widened to the size of tennis balls before, their jaws would most likely to be touching the ground when they saw Snape bursting into tears a moment later and running to cling onto Harry's legs.

            They were still in shock when the Headmaster went to see what was all the commotion about.

            "Um…Professor Dumbledore?" Harry saw the old wizard by the door. "Can you help with this?" He gestured below to the still crying child.

            "I think my legs had gone numb."

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