Maybe It's Just Me
Dear Diary,
How long has it been since I have written? I can't tell, I really should start dating my entries. I don't seem like the type to keep a diary, at least not when I'm around the Marauders. I don't know what happens. I mean, I have fun with my other friends, but it feels like I can't really be myself unless the whole gang is there. Maybe it's just me.
I think I am changing. They say most teens discover who they are during this period in their lives, but no one else appears to be going through this personality crisis. I don't mean Identity crisis, I know who I am. I'm not questioning my name or my family. I'm not questioning my beliefs, I'm questing how I react to things. Does that make sense? I'm not sure.
I'm supposed to be the logical one, the smart one, but what does that mean? Does that mean I have all the answers?
I'm listening to Simon and Garfunkle right now, the Sounds of Silence song. It's a nice song, I think I'll switch to Beatles soon. I'm a sucker for their music. They're as good as broken up now. I hope they all continue to write good music, especially Lennon. He's probably the most talented of all of them, though I will be sure to pick up any records made by any of them.
Rose says I should get into the Rolling Stones. She even blasted their music all summer long, I think they're starting to grow on me.
The Animagnus potion is almost done and it's almost at the holidays. After that, the Marauders won't have to put up with me anymore. Well, they will as Rose's sister, but they won't have to appease me to help them. I wonder if they'll be happy.
Now the question is being asked, should Rose and I go home for the holidays? Tapa invited me to her house, should I accept? I'll ask mum.
I feel silly writing in a journal, even if I'm alone and I have been doing so for years. Am I the only one who still does? Should I be ashamed? Maybe it's just me.
I wonder what animal I will be. I hope it's a cool animal, I mean, how pathetic would it be to turn into a bug? Maybe I should be a cat; they are excellent hunters, extremely intelligent and have a sense of independence. But that sounds more like Rose than me.
I would also like to be able to fly. That has got to be the meanest high. Being able to soar above the clouds, relying on no one but yourself. Maybe I should be a bird. How cool would it be to be a falcon? They are powerful and deadly. That doesn't fit me either.
Maybe an owl, they are powerful birds with a sense of intelligence. They fly silently and are extremely useful. They are also wise. I've heard science reports saying they aren't, but everyone knows the owls are just hiding it, don't the magical tests show owls are smart? Owls can fly through the night undetected. There is a sense of peace about them.
I think that works for me, being an owl would be quite fun and useful to the future. You never know when being able to fly will come in handy. I can't register to be an Animagnus now. I feel a little nervous about breaking the law, but at the same time, I don't care. It's a stupid law. I do feel guilty in that I won't be able to tell Dumbledore, but it's necessary, so I'll keep quite.
Will the Marauders still hang out with me when we've become Animagnus? Is my worry justified? Or am I'm getting worked up about nothing? Maybe it's just me.
Lily
A/N Sorry I've taken so long and for the short chapter. I have ideas for the next three stories after this one and have almost finished the last one, but I'm almost out of ideas of how to get through this one. Currently, everyone is in fifth year and I need to finish this story in seventh. If you stay with me through this story, you will be rewarded with three more stories that I'm almost done writing.
