Owl Post

A/N Reference for those who will get confused, the to: is who the message is SUPPOSED to be going to.

To: Rose Evans

From: Sirius Black

Time Sent: 12:00 Tuesday, fourteenth of October

This is really hard for me, so just bear with me, okay?
First, I'd like to say that I've liked you for a long time. I haven't been as discreet about it as I could be. I didn't want our relationship to complicate everything. I mean, going public with it? That's a big step.

But I'm willing to try it, if you are. We just have to keep it quiet, especially around the Marauders. I doubt they'd take it well. Still, this could be the start of a great relationship, for both of us.
I look forward to talking to you.

-Sirius

To: Sirius Black
From: Lily Evans
Time Sent: 12:05 Tuesday, fourteenth of October


It's not that I'm not flattered, but... Have you lost your mind?
The whole situation is completely insane, and I think you know that. Have you been drinking? That's really the only explanation I can come up with. Please, tell me you were drinking when you thought that this would be a good idea. I can't imagine any other reason for this, and if there is another reason, I don't want to know about it.
Did Rose put you up to this? Because after seven years, you should know that Rose has a few issues, and she's not exactly the person you should go to with ideas like this. If this involved Rose at all, I'd hurt you both, but she's occasionally insane, and you really should know better than to listen to her.
To make a long story very short, cut it out. This is the last that I want to hear about it, and if that's the case, than I will forgo hexing you into next week. If I get so much as a whisper about this again, mister, there will be consequences. I hope I'm making myself clear, because I don't ever want to go through this again.
Understood?

-Lily Evans

To: Lily Evans
From: Peter Pettigrew
Time Sent: 12:10

Firstly, I'd like to say that a surprise party seemed like a wonderful idea to me. I had no idea that you'd react so strongly to the whole thing, but I apologize. I'm rather angry, however. It was supposed to be a surprised, and I thought everyone knew that. Who told you?
It's not that I consider my contribution to this group to be particularly important, it's just that a lot of work went into this, on the part of many people. I'd like to know who told, and how long you've known.
Now that the surprise is ruined, I suppose there's no point in actually having the party, but I wonder if I could persuade you to let us continue. We'll leave you out of it entirely, if that makes you happier, but I don't understand why you'd react so badly. Please let me know if we can still continue. Otherwise, I'll have to start letting people know.

-Peter

To: Peter Pettigrew
From: Sirius Black
Time Sent: 12:20

It's not that I want to sound accusatory, but you told me about the party. At least, it looked like you, around here, it's sometimes hard to tell what's going on. Is the party canceled? If it is, I don't want it on my head. I think it's a great idea to have a surprise party for Lily. I swear, I haven't said anything different to anyone. You've got to believe me, I'm fully in support of the party idea.
I mean, I've been working my butt off on this. If it is canceled, please let me know as soon as possible, there are half a dozen first years that will have to be called off. I'm not looking forward to being the person who tells them about this.
Get back to me as soon as possible, no matter what's happening. For once, I'd like to have a clue.

-Sirius


To: Sirius Black
From: James Potter
Time Sent: 12:30

Look, I certainly wasn't the one to tell you, but what am I supposed to do with a common room full of inflated balloons? I just came from there, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with these now. Even popping them will take the better part of a day, and it's time I don't have. Should I just recruit on of the Smith brothers to squash them one at a time, or just shoot off a minor hex?
I can't believe I'm struggling with this. This is not my responsibility. I'm going to just delegate it. A common room full of balloons. When I see Peter next, I'm going to wring his neck. How, exactly, did I get into the middle of this?

-James

To: James Potter
From: Lily Evans
Time Sent: 12:35
Okay....
First of all, why do we have that? Why? I know that this group is made up almost entirely of packrats, and that tendency has helped us with pranks, homework and other things more times than I care to acknowledge, but still, why? Why in the name of all that's holy would we have that cluttering up our space?
That room has a finite amount of space, and I'm becoming fairly sick of having big chunks of it unavailable because we pick up every single shiny object that we find. Get rid of it, right now. I don't care if you have the Smith brothers help you, or get a crew of prefects; I don't care. Just get rid of them, and do it soon.
I feel a monstrous headache coming on, and if it's not gone by dinner, you'll have to find a new dining partner. I'm running the very real risk of killing someone. Have you noticed that our friends are apparently insane? I know I've pointed it out before, but the messages I've been getting today have just about pushed me over the edge.
I think I'll go lie down for a while...

-Lily



To: Lily Evans
From: Rachel Brown
Time Sent: 12:40

I didn't know that I was supposed clean up the common room this week. I will recheck my chores list. In the meantime, I have finished my homework, so I'm free if you need me. We have lots and lots of stuff that have no purpose. Many, many items. I am therefore unsure as to which I am supposed to throw out.
Should I banish everything that I consider of no importance? If so, I feel I must warn you, a large percentage of our stuff will be destroyed.

As to the issue of lunch, I was unaware that I was to meet you. I was going to work on some ideas and won't be able to stop long enough to visit the Great Hall today. Perhaps another time?

-Rachel

To: Rachel Brown
From: Remus Lupin
Time Sent: 12:45

The information that you have forwarded to me is of no particular interest to me. Please send it straight to Lily seeing as she is Head Girl.
As I am unavailable for lunch, perhaps you should consider meeting Rose. I believe that she would like that. If you do hex our stuff, please tell me first, I believe my homework is in the common room along with the map and the invisibility cloak.

-Remus

To: Remus Lupin
From: James Potter
Time Sent: 1:00

I'm not even going to ask. Get to the hospital wing. I'm going to write this off as some sort of breakdown, or momentary insanity, or something. I'm not sure what, yet, but I'll figure it out. Just go to the Hospital Wing, and don't leave until you have permission to do so.
The two of us are going to have a very, very long chat, but for now, when I ask the computer where you are in ten minutes, I expect to find you in the Hospital Wing, getting checked out. If we're both lucky, there will be an explanation for your behavior that won't necessitate me damaging you somehow.
The Hospital Wing. NOW.

-James


P.S. Rose, Rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.

To: James Potter

From: Rose Evans

Time Sent: 1:10

You must be joking. I refuse to go to the Hospital wing seeing as I'm already there because SOMEBODY'S prank went wrong. It's like I'm confined here. What are you talking about? Why did you make that up? Did you hit your head or something? Maybe you should go to the hospital wing.

-Rose

To: Rose Evans
From: Sirius Black
Time Sent: 1:15

First of all, I didn't do it. I don't know why it happened, but I had nothing what so ever to do with it. I can understand your frustration, but you have to believe me, I didn't do it. I can't even tell you what happened, since I'm not clear on that myself. I'm going to do my best to figure out what's going on, and I'll get back to you.
Though I've got to say, I resent the implication. Just because something goes wrong around here doesn't automatically make it my fault. I'm getting really sick of being the first person on everyone's go to list. I've caused my share of problems, I'll admit that, but I've never been that bad.
I'll talk to James, see if he can straighten this mess out. Are we on for lunch?

-Sirius

To: Sirius Black
From: Lily Evans
Time Sent: 1:18

I'm fairly certain that there is no way that this will lead to anything good. What, exactly, did you do? More importantly, how long will it take you to fix it? Because I'm telling you right now, it has been a very, very long day, and I'm not in the mood to deal with anything like this right now. What ever it is that you've managed to do, I want it fixed before you go off duty.
Recruit people, get all the help you need, but I don't want to hear anything further on this matter. If I should feel up to it tomorrow, and I'll ask you one way or another, I want you to be able to tell me truthfully and easily, that everything is back the way it should be. The way it was yesterday, to be more specific.
Where ever you are right now, whatever you're supposed to be doing, go and fix this. Fix this right now. I didn't know we were having lunch. I hope you aren't asking me for a date, you know I like James. You were singing that annoying song just yesterday.

-Lily


To: Lily Evans
From: Remus Lupin
Time Sent: 1:20

My apologies. I thought I told everyone about the next prank. I believed that this would be sufficient warning as to my intentions. I was unaware that you would be left out of the decision making process. I do not believe I will require additional personnel to accomplish this, but if it is necessary, I will contact you.
What do you mean lunch? You know I've been trying to get up the nerve to ask Melissa out since fifth year.

-Remus

To: Remus Lupin
From: Peter Pettigrew
Time Sent: 1:25

I can't believe it! You want my help on a prank. I got a few ideas. I know, I know, you're the one who comes up with the new pranks, but if I could make some changes they would be even better.
Not to worry, though! A few minor changes, and we'll be set to go!

-Peter

To: Peter Pettigrew
From: Sirius Black
Time Sent: 1:30

Not to sound judgmental or anything, but why are you sharing this information with me? If you insist upon asking my opinion, I've got to say, I don't think Remus would appreciate it if you joined in the prank planning. He tends to be rather protective of the map and his plans.

You make a wonderful contribution to the group and the Marauders in your own way. Perhaps you should just consider prank planning to be something that would be better served if you put it aside for now. There'll be plenty of opportunities for that sort of thing later.
Like, after Remus' dead.

-Sirius

To: Sirius Black
From: Rose Evans
Time Sent: 1:47

What are you talking about? Am I the only one who feels as if I've gone insane? What is going on today? I've gotten one incomprehensible message after another! People keep telling me things that I had no desire to know! I am not the counselor! If this is some bizarre practical joke, let me tell you, I am not laughing! I'd like an explanation, and I want it now! I'm fed up with the whole thing, and if I don't get an answer soon, you can forget about dinner at the top of the astronomy tower.

-Rose

To: the Student body of Hogwarts
From: Professor McGonagall
Time Sent: 2:04


To all recipients:
We've been having some problems with the owls today. It appears that the owls have been randomly delivering them from person to person. This is why everyone has been receiving incomprehensible messages today. Please bear with us as we attempt to get this straightened out.
I believe that we have the problem and mail should be going to the right place from this point out, but I can't be sure of it. Also, anything that was sent this morning should be resent, especially if it is of an important nature. I can't be sure that anything got to its intended destination today. The owls will be redelivering a large amount of our mail, but still, it's no guarantee.
Also, whoever received the message that I had intended for Professor Jauan, please disregard. You know which one. Anyway, I hope no one noticed too many problems today.

-Professor McGonagall

To: Professor McGonagall
From: The student body
Time Sent: 2:15

We noticed.

To: Lily Evans
CC: James Potter
From: Rose Evans
Time Sent: 6:34

I'm sorry!
I know we shouldn't have done it, I know we shouldn't have. You've got to believe me; we didn't mean any harm by it. And I don't know what to do, I don't know what this message is supposed to mean, we weren't trying to hide it or anything, we just thought that being discreet couldn't hurt. We didn't want to call any additional attention to ourselves, but I swear that we weren't sneaking around.
I'm in trouble, aren't I?
I'm really sorry.

-Rose

To: James Potter
From: Lily Evans
Time Sent: 6:36
James-
Do you have any idea what that crazy sister of mine is talking about? I probably shouldn't ask, but by now, I'm really becoming terrified that I now know far too much of what's going on around here. Everything that I get isn't intended for me, in the first place. I'm beginning to grow depressed, James.

-Lily

To: Lily Evans
From: James Potter
Time Sent: 6:40

Lily-
I just talked to her. Seems that she and Sirius have been dating. In any case, she accidentally got the message I sent to Tapa, and took it to mean that we knew about her and Sirius. Needless to say, she had a bit of a nervous breakdown.
It's strange; you know how I've liked her for all these years and I find out she's dating my best friend. I really couldn't care; in fact I'm happy for them, strange. I expected to be heartbroken. Anyway, I've calmed her down, and sent her to talk to Sirius. They should be fine, as soon as they both get over their embarrassment on the matter.
In any case, you're late for dinner. Finish up beating on the owls.

-James

To: James Potter
From: Lily Evans
Time Sent: 6:55

James-
This is what I'm talking about. How can I be sure that this message was meant for me at all? For all I know, you could be meeting half the seventh year for dinner behind my back. I'm very much on edge all of a sudden. The first time someone ever professed their love for me in letter form, and it wasn't even intended for me.
I'm relieved, I swear I am, but some part of me feels a little let down. Isn't that foolish? Having Sirius be in love with me would have been awkward and strange. Still, I'm disappointed that he isn't, on some level. I think my ego's taken a blow today.
And now I'm suspicious of you, too. That message had better have been for me, sir.

-Lily

To: Lily
From: James
Time Sent: 7:03

Lily-
Come on. dinner is getting cold. And who else would I be talking to? Rachel?

-James


P.S. I think like you, if that takes any of the sting away from losing Sirius' love.

To: James
From: Lily
Time Sent: 1309 hours

It does help. I like you too.

-Lily



To: Lily Evans
From: Rachel Brown
Time Sent: 1312 hours

Excuse me?


A/N I am really bored. Anyways, this is based on a Star Trek Voyager Fanfic by Kerry. That link. If you like Star Trek Voyage, check it out. I had to blend some parts together so it doesn't make as much sense as the original. Here are the characters, they are not exact:

Sirius Black: Harry Kim and Tom Paris

Lily Evans: Captain Janeway

James Potter: Commander Chakotay

Rose Evans: EMH and Crewman Chung

Rachel Brown: Seven of Nine

Remus Lupin: Tuvok

Peter Pettigrew: Neelix (I needed someone to be Neelix)

Professor McGonagall: B'Elanna Torres