Communicating on all Levels.

Rating: R

Spoilers: Last three eps of Season 8.

Disclaimer: I don't own the JAG crew. They belong to DPB, CBS and Paramount. I also don't really own Grandma Sarah's dogs. (If you recognize, whom I named them for you'll understand why I felt the need to say that.)

Summary: Sequel to Harm Learns to Communicate. You really didn't think Mac was just going to let it end there did you?

A/N: in my little universe Harm doesn't want back at JAG and Webb died on the mission in Paraguay. Also folks you need to remember I tend to come at things from really different angles. What little I know about AA comes from a friend that was a member. She also had a long distance unofficial sponsor who reworked some of the steps with her long distance. I also realize that this isn't common. I'm using it as a why Mac wants to talk to Harm. I'm not going into a lot of detail about the conversation because that's not the point of the fic.

*JAG Headquarters Immediately after Harm leaves**

Harm just left. He doesn't want to be here. He chewed us all out, even the admiral. We're all just standing around like we're in shock. I guess that's because we are. The admiral tells us to get back to work and we all head for our desks or offices. I wander in to mine, sit down and close my eyes thinking about everything Harm just said. My wonderful sense of time fails me and I have no idea how long I sit there.

Eventually I hear a knock on my door. Sitting up I tell the person to enter and to me surprise it's Bud, Sturgis and Harriet. The come in and we talk for 45 minutes about what Harm said and come to the realization that we have taken Harm for granted. We've assumed he was always going to be there and could always fix a problem. We also figured if he was having problems dealing with something he'd tell us. Eventually Bud and Harriet leave to get AJ from daycare. Sturgis suggests him and I go get some dinner but I decline. I have something I need to do.

Once Sturgis is gone, I pull out my cell phone and punch speed dial #nine. It's not a number I use very often but I think I have to tonight. I call my AA sponsor. Well, actually she's not anymore. She was my sponsor years ago when I was at my first duty station after OCS. I couldn't afford the long distance bills calling Uncle Matt every time I had a problem. Helen and I met at AA meetings off base and gradually became friends. After I went through my third sponsor in six months, Helen suggested that she be my sponsor. When I transferred out 19 months later, she said call her anytime. I called regularly for about two years after that, since then I've only called when I had a major problem. I think this qualifies.

I get through to Helen and give her a basic run down of what's going on. She tells me to get my butt home and get some dinner this is going to take awhile. I reach into my briefcase and grab the headset I recently bought for my phone so I can talk and drive at the same time. Helen has me start at the very beginning of the story. She has me start with Singer's death and my mission in Paraguay. She waits until I'm safely home to get into the stuff that's going to make me cry. We talk for two hours, 16 minutes, and 53 seconds until Helen says the thing I've been expecting.

"Mac you need to go back and rework some of the steps. You lost yourself somewhere in this journey and things aren't going to better until you really find what you've lost."

"I know Helen. I know. I'm not sure I have it in me to find a person here, which I can trust enough to tell them everything."

"I'll do what I can over the phone and then we'll figure something out for what I can't help you with over the phone."

"Okay Helen, what do you want me to start with and when."

"How about now and start with step four."

We talk for another Four hours and 27 minutes during which time I work on steps four and five. Helen tells me that for step 8 I need to find Harm and talk to him. Not "talk'' like we've been doing since he returned from flying but sit down and have an honest to god conversation with him. She says that from what I've told her about what he said in the office he might be willing to do that. Even if he's not, I need to at least try. Try for me, not him. If we can't have a conversation then I need to write everything down and send t to him in a letter. Even if he never responds I need to go through the step so I can heal. I promise to do that and to call her in a week to let her know how things go. As well as email her step 10 sometime during the week.

I hang up and decide to try and get some sleep. I know it won't be easy but I need to talk to the admiral and Sturgis before I take my next step and they won't appreciate being woken up this early on a Saturday.

It's 7:15 a.m. when I wake up. I lay in bed for 20 minutes making my plan of attack. I shower, grab some breakfast and head for the Admiral's hoping to catch him at home so I can ask for a week's leave. He's home and Meredith isn't with him. I ask him for leave and he wants to know if I'm going to use it to go see Harm. When I say yes, he denies my request. I try to talk him out of it.

"Sir, I need to do this."

"Request denied, Colonel. I'll not have my Chief of Staff running off trying to convince a disillusioned officer to come back." That's it, I'm ticked.

"Dammit Sir that's not what I was planning on doing. It's Harm's decision on whether or not he wants to come back. I just know that for ME, for my sake, my sanity, and MY SOBRIETY, I need to talk to Harm and clear the air between us. There's so much I need to get out. Things that have needed to be said for YEARS. I'm going to have that conversation with Harm, whether you give me leave or not. If you won't let me take leave then I guess I'll just have to resign. It's not what I want but if you can't understand why I need to have this conversation then resigning is what I need to do."

"Request granted Colonel. I want you back on duty two weeks from today. Good luck."

"Thank you sir and my apologies for my behavior. I don't think I need more than a week, sir."

"Apology accepted and maybe not Colonel but I'd say you've earned it and you have it on the books so use it."

Once I leave the admiral's house I call Sturgis. He's home and tells me to stop by whenever. Once I arrive, he tells me he's sure Harm went to his grandmother's and he can give me the number if I want. I thank him and head home to pack.

Once I'm packed, I call Harm's grandmother. I'm lucky that Harm doesn't answer the phone. I explain to her what I want and she gives me directions to the farmhouse. She also says she'll keep Harm busy elsewhere so I can arrive without him knowing and avoid a confrontation for a little while. I write down the directions and promise to call her when I reach Altoona.

I spend the drive thinking about what Helen and I talked about and planning what I'll say to Harm. I arrive at Sarah Rabb's farmhouse at 5:02 p.m. It should have taken me longer but I tend to speed when I'm wanting to get something over with.

I pull into the driveway and notice the garage door is open and an older woman standing in the garage motioning for me to pull in. Once I'm in the garage I turn off the engine and start to get out of the car when I'm attacked by two big dogs. One is a big Saint Bernard, who jumps on me, putting his paws on my shoulders and giving me a slobbering kiss on the cheek. The other dog is a Chocolate lab who runs right into the first dog knocking him further into me. All of a sudden Mrs. Rabb is next to me trying to control the dogs.

"DB, Kip get down. You know better than that. I'm sorry about that Sarah."

"That's okay Mrs. Rabb. What are their names?' "Please call me Sarah. The Bernard is DB and the Lab is Kip. I love them both dearly but DB is kind of stupid and Kip will follow him anywhere and do anything he does."

"Call me Mac, Sarah."

"Let's get your stuff inside Mac. I show you where you'll be staying. Harm should be back in about an hour. You know this isn't going to be easy don't you?'

"Yes, but like I told you over the phone, it's something I have to do."

TBC ??? Depends on your reactions. I'm not sure about this one. Opinions please. Communicating on all Levels 2/?

**Disclaimer and all info in part one**

A/N: I really am a nice person I just have a sick sense of humor. Sorry so short the muse broke out her bat and wouldn't leave me alone until I did this.

**Sarah Rabb's Kitchen 5:50 p.m.**

Sarah Rabb showed me to my room and left me to freshen up from my drive. I unpacked the essentials from my bag and prepared to take a shower. I stood under the shower head for 17 minutes and 20 seconds allowing the pulse of the shower to beat away the stress of the day. After my shower I dress and go downstairs to the farmhouse's kitchen. I find Sarah just coming in from outside.

"Feel better, Mac?"

"Yes much, I'm afraid I may have used all your hot water though."

"I doubt it I have a huge hot water heater. Would you care for some iced tea?"

"That would be wonderful ma'am."

"Mac..."

"Sorry, that would be wonderful, Sarah."

She invites me into the kitchen with her where she fixes each of us a glass of iced tea. She then begins to fix dinner. When I offer to help, she has me pull up a stool and start chopping vegetables. I just know she's going to start asking me questions.

"So, Mac do you know what's going on with Harm?"

"Some why don't you tell me what you know and I'll fill in what I can. Okay Sarah?"

So she tells me what she knows. It doesn't take long. Then I tell her what I know.

"Mac, what do you hope to accomplish while you're here?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I just know that he and I need to clear the air. We need to sit and get all THIS out between us. Even if it ends up destroying our friendship, we need to get it out in the open so we can both move on."

"Even if it destroys your relationship?"

"Well, considering the fact I don't think Harm's speaking to me at the moment, things can't get much worse. Can they?" Sarah chuckles at that.

"Probably not, but Harm can be very stubborn, even more so when he's hurting."

"Sarah, why didn't he tell us what he was feeling?"

"Because he learned years ago not to show his feelings. Trish had a hard enough time dealing with her feelings after Harm Sr. went down. She couldn't handle his too. She had a breakdown that winter. Harm had to come stay with me. He learned to hide his feelings to protect her."

"I had no idea."

"No one did. Harm has always tried to protect Trish. Even once she was strong enough to handle things."

We both hear a car pulling into the driveway. That's got to be Harm. He's about 30 minutes later than Sarah expected him to be. I wait in the kitchen while Sarah goes to meet Harm at the door. Fifty-one seconds later I hear the dogs going bonkers.

"Hi, DB how ya doing boy? Yeah, okay get down DB. Down DB. Kip would you please quit doing that? It looks like you're kissing his butt." Sarah calls the dogs off and Harm comes into the house.

"Hi, Grandma, why didn't you leave the garage open for me?"

"I let a visitor park in there. Come on in and say hello." As she's saying this Sarah takes the car keys from Harm and puts them in her pocket. She and Harm walk into the kitchen and Harm stops cold when he sees me.

"Hello Harm."

"What the hell are you doing here Mac?" Here we go. Somebody ring a bell round one is about to start.

"Harmon David Rabb you watch your mouth." Spoken like a grandmother.

"Sorry ma'am." Harm is instantly contrite.

"I came to talk to you. We need to clear the air."

"We have nothing left to say to each other." With this said Harm turns to leave.

"Harm please." I plead.

"No Mac I can't do this. I'll come get my stuff another time Grandma." With that said Harm stalks out of the house and into the barn where his plane's at.

"Well that's that. I'm sorry I ruined your time with him Sarah."

"Oh I wouldn't say it's over. He doesn't have a car and he can't fly back."

"Why not?"

"Well, while you were in the shower I went out and removed the fuel line from my namesake and hid it. So if can't get my car keys and your car is blocked in by my car then I guess you two are just going to have to clear the air huh?" I can't help staring at Sarah for a moment before I start laughing. I've just been outmaneuvered!

TBC