First. Answers to Reviews and notes:

This is my first time posting of Fanfiction.net, so let me know what you think so far, but please don't be too mean, ok? ^_^ Sapphiregirl Thanks for the encouragement! ^_^ My first review! I'm so happy. Now if everyone's reviews are like that, I'll be even happier! Any little input is appreciated. Ah, and yes, Nuriko is a boy pretending to be a girl. :D (Not that he'd mind playing the role, considering he's a cross- dresser already. ^_^ )
Disclaimers are at the end. ^_^

The Wizard of Suzaku

Part 1: Somewhere Past the Light of Suzaku

:: The curtain rises to reveal a purple-haired girl running down a dirt path with her rather large dog following::

Narrator: Our story begins with a girl......

Doriko: Hey! I'm not a girl!

Narrator: Well, I'm sorry but that's the role you've been cast for...

Doriko: Well, I guess that's OK. After all, I'm beautiful enough and I am still partly a woman at heart! ^_^.

Patti: That's one of the things that are so endearing about him..... ^_^

Narrator: o.O; Ahem, nooo comment. Anyway... the girl is running
down the street from her neighbor, Mrs. Gulch's house.

Doriko:: Looking over his shoulder:: I don't think she's following
us, Ashitoto. *puff puff* But just you wait until I tell Aunty
Emmiaka and Uncle Tamahenry about this! They'll take care of her for
sure!

Ashitoto:: Growls in agreement.::

Doriko: She shouldn't be trying to get you like that, but that still
doesn't give you any excuse to be chasing those disgustingly cute
Nyan Nyan's like that!

Ashitoto: Whine......

Doriko: Oh well... let's just get home and tell the others about
this, and I'm sure they'll solve the problem. ::Thinking as he
runs:: Hmm... I bet that all she really needs is some beauty
cream... I bet that would fix her sour disposition!

::Sniggers from audience::

Narrator: o.O Hehe. Ahem... anyway... So Doriko ran until he...
er... she... reached her farm.

Doriko:: Runs up to where his Aunt and Uncle were gathering eggs::
Aunty Emmiaka! Uncle Tamahenry! Wait until I tell you about what
Mrs. Gulchkun did to....

Aunty Emmiaka:: Gathering eggs from under the chickens and putting
them in a hat that Tamahenry is holding:: Doriko, can't you see that
we're busy?

Doriko:: Frustrated:: But Aunty Emmiaka!! She hit Ashitoto on the
back with a rake, just because he was chasing her Nyan Nyan's! And
he didn't know any better... :: he thought:: and he
couldn't catch them anyway!

Aunty Emmiaka: Oh, Doriko. I think that you're just making too much
out of a little thing! Now go and play. Your Uncle Tamahenry and I
are busy!

Tamahenry:: Counting the eggs Emmiaka is putting into the hat::
65.... 66.... 67...... Yeah... we could.... 68..... get... a lot of
69...... money for these!

Patti: -_-;;; Tamahome......

Narrator: -_-;;; And so a much vexed Doriko went off in search of
the farmhands, whom she was sure would listen to her. When she found
them, Chichiri and Mitsukake were working on a wagon, and Tasuki was
busy feeding the pigs.

Doriko:: Going over to where Chichiri and Mitsukake were busy with
the wagon::

Mitsukake: Watch yourself, I'm going to lower it now.

Chichiri: Go ahead, you know!

Mitsukake:: Lowers the wagon, catching Chichiri's fingers in it::

Chichiri:: An SD'd Chichiri comes out from under the wagon holding
his hand and jumping around:: Daaaa!!! That really hurt you know!!!
Ouch!!!! You got my fingers with that, you know!

Mitsukake: Then you should have kept them out of the way.

Chichiri: Well, you should watch where you put that thing, you know!
:: Blowing on his hand:: That really hurt you know!

Doriko: Are you ok?

Chichiri: I'll be fine, you know. I'll just have to watch out next
time, you know.

Doriko: That's good. Do you know about Mrs. Gulchkun? She was so
mean to Ashitoto today! She's always been after him!

Chichiri:: Picks up a hammer and begins nailing the wagon back
together:: Well, if you want to know what I think, I think you
should just not go around her house, you know. If you go around,
then Ashitoto won't chase her Nyan Nyan's, and then there won't be
any trouble, you know! And no one will get hurt! You've just got to
use your brain, you know!
:: He grabs a nail and swings at it with the hammer, and hit's
his hand.::
OWWW!!!! THAT REALLY HURT YOU KNOW!!!!! o__o Just what is a twister anyway? He asked.

Narrator: -_-;; *sigh* It's a very large, dangerous, and powerful windstorm in the shape of a funnel. It destroys everything in its path!

Chichiri: 0.x Oh. That's not good, you know.

Narrator: No, it's not.
Anyway.... Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Aunty Emmiaka, and Uncle Tamahenry had finished with the horses and other animals, and were getting into their storm shelter, as the twister loomed closer.

Chichiri: Look, the 'Twister' is Looming clos....:: Pauses, noting the narrators raised hand, and SD's:: ;;.....er...I mean, The Twister is getting closer you know, and Doriko and Ashitoto are still out there, you know!

Aunty Emmiaka: She could be in trouble out there!

Mitsukake: What about Ashitoto?

Aunty Emmiaka: Who cares? (He once killed Nuriko after all.)
*o* DORIKO! DORIKO!!!

Patti: That's right!

Tasuki:: Yelling to be heard over the roaring wind:: C'mon Emmiaka! There's nothin' more we can do for her! We've gotta get under cover b'fore that Twister chews us up!

Aunty Emmiaka: No! We have to wait for her!

Uncle Tamahenry: I just hope that thing doesn't trash the house, it'll cost a fortune to repair it!

All: Sweatdrop

Chichiri:: Also yelling:: He's right, you know! There's nothing else we can do but hope she's safe you know! Doriko's not stupid! He'll be ok you know!

Narrator: So Tasuki and Chichiri dragged the still-struggling and resisting Emmiaka back into the shelter and closed it. Meanwhile.......Doriko and Ashitoto have just about reached home. The wind is blowing very hard and there is a lot of debris in the air. The Tornado is roaring, coming ever closer.....

Doriko:: Looking up:: Uh oh. That Twister is getting way too close for my comfort! Where is everyone anyway??

Twister/Soi: HA! They're DEAD! And soon, you will be too 'Doriko'!! HA HA HA HA!!!!! Now FRY!!!! Your friends killed me and my Nakago! And now you will pay!!! :: Lightning splits the air as Soi unleashes her Seishi powers on Doriko, nearly hitting the frantically dodging Seishi/girl and Ashitare.:: FRY! FRY! HA HA HA!!!

Narrator: O.O;; Umm... Soi.... That's not part of the script.....

Twister/Soi: So what? Haven't you ever heard of improvising?? DIE!! FRY!!!! HA HA!!

Narrator: O.O SOI!! You're not supposed to kill them!!!

Twister/Soi:: Ignoring The Narrator:: Die!

Doriko:: Has been frantically dodging debris and lightning, and is rapidly tiring; Ashitoto as well.::

:: The audience begins to worry, as the lightning is starting to go offstage..... and they're starting to think that all of them are about to bite the bullet::

Fan: Hey! Someone make her stop before she kills us all!

Narrator: SOI!!! -_-;; :: Upon still being ignored, The now very ticked-off narrator blasts the Frenzied Soi with a blast of her super author-ess powers strong enough to destroy the tornado and send Soi flying.:: Soi! You are a TWISTER! NOT a fire Dancer or Lightning-goddess! You are a TWISTER! You blow people away with wind or impale them with debris! NOT Fry them with Electricity! And Killing Doriko and Ashitoto is NOT in the Script!

Soi: * OUCHIE!* You're gonna pay for that! My vendetta was with the Suzaku warriors, but since you expressed an interest..... :: Pause:: In any case, where's the fun in that story line??

Narrator: -_-;; Right. If you say so. But if you keep threatening me, I'm going to have you grounded, and then you'll go back to floating about in the spirit world! And in any case, this is the best we could do for you! We could always get a replacement for you. This is a very popular position, you know. So unless you want that, I suggest that you clean up your act and stick to the script!

Soi: *grumble*

Narrator: Well? Are you going to stay in character or not?

Soi: * grumble* FINE! But I'll deal with you later! You're not going to get away with that blast you hit me with!

Narrator: O.O;; Umm...(help)...right....Just remember; NO KILLING!!!! They're supposed to LIVE!

Patti: And you just can't kill my Nuriko-sama.......

Narrator: Or my Chichiri.... ^_^

Soi: *grumble* Yes, I remember. :: Starts up the tornado again and
chases Doriko and Ashitoto to the house.::

:: The audience breathes a sigh of relief and comes out from under
their seats::

Narrator: ::To the audience:: Y'know, that wouldn't have done you
any good anyway, those seats are metal...

Audience: O.O

Doriko:: Now that he didn't have to constantly dodge lightning
bolts, he was able to reach the house fairly quickly, with Ashitoto
close behind:: Aunty Emmiaka!!!! Where are you?

He fought his way against the wind, and made his way up to the
porch of their house. When he managed to get the screen door open,
the strong winds jerked it from his grasp and carried it away. He
ignored this, and made his way through the rooms of the house,
calling for Aunty Emmiaka.

Doriko: Aunty Emmiaka!!! Aunty Emmiaka!! Where are you?!

Narrator: Upon not finding her in the house, Doriko made her way
back outside to the storm shelter, and banged on it.... but there
was no answer...no one could hear her over the sound of the
approaching twister. And so, Doriko and Ashitoto made their way back
into the house, and into Doriko's room, where she fretted over what
was going to happen next.......

::As Doriko stood in front of the window, the whole house suddenly
began to shake as the twister found the house, and the window
suddenly flew into the room, hitting Doriko, and knocking him out.::

Narrator: When Doriko finally came to, she felt as though her whole
world was spinning..... and upon looking out of the window she found
that that was just what it was doing...... and there were people and
animals flying past her window.....

Doriko: Oh my... we must be up inside the twister, Ashitoto!
::He looks out the window, and looks over at Ashitoto::

We should do something..... what should we do?

Ashitoto: Grrrwlll.....

Doriko: Good idea! I'll call for help. ::He grabs a phone, and dials
the police::

Hello? Police? I'm inside my house right now, and I'm stuck up
inside a twister!!! ::Looks out window:: O.o.;; And * we've got cows
right now!!! ::He said, watching as a cow flew by the window::
Uh... maybe I should call back.......

Narrator: ^_^;;; Anyway....... as Doriko looked out the window,
she saw the mean old lady Mrs. Gulchkun riding a bike outside her
window. As she watched, however, the mean woman turned into an ugly
old witch riding a broomstick..... and at this point, the house was
spinning so fast that it made her and Ashitoto dizzy, and they
passed out........ as the twister carried them into a strange
land.........

End of Part 1

I do not own the movie Twister I do not own Fushigi Yuugi I do not own The Wizard of Oz
Thank you. ^_^ Those are my disclaimers for the day. :Ds