The characters belong to Top cow and TNT as do all their toys, accessories and appliances, including the Witchblade. Everything else is just hearsay and rumors.
poisson d'avril
ch3
*****************************
Detectives Woo and Pezinni silently waited for Jake to get out of hearing range before simultaneously exploding with laughter. Sara, gripping her aching sides, rose to close the door on Orlinsky's face before he could ask them what the hell was so funny. As the irate detective scowled outside, Sara and Danny struggled to calm their giggle fits.
"That was, Ha, a.. Excellent work, Woo'" Sara gasped.
"I aim to please," Danny stated with a smug smile, vaguely resembling the one on Detective McCarty's ass. Sara noticed this, and burst into another peel of laughter.
Danny shot Sara a questioning look, but decided not to ask. Sara had been acting weird and making faces all morning. When she had screamed at the contents of her desk drawer, he'd decided he simply wasn't in the loop of all the pranks being played and probably didn't want to be.
Musing over the rookie's potentially amusing lunchbreak, Sara and her partner settled back to working on their respective filework. Danny was calmly filling out forms while the Wielder tried to ignore the dirty jokes her bracelet was telling her between visions of Jake's late lunch.
Sara tried to hide her smirk as image after image showed people of both genders returning the smile on the rookies' behind. Jake's reaction, when he caught these looks, was swinging wildly between smug acceptance and uncomfortable dismay.
*****************************
Ian had patched his wireless into the precinct's, and his own additional, surveillance systems. The assassin had looked up from the device's screen as Jake sauntered out of the building, amused and impressed by Detective Woo's cleverness.
The exact goal of the stunt hadn't dawned on him until he noticed a group of men in suits, checking out the rookie's butt and smiling with intrigued expressions. Ian surmised that one of the men must have commented when Jake had glanced back over his shoulder. Apparently, Detective McCarty noticed the group's admiration of his posterior, as the rookie's gait had immediately switched from cocky saunter to hurried scamper.
Detective Woo's folly was simple, yet devious. The assassin sincerely hoped that if Sara did indeed retaliate, she would not turn to her partner for advice. With that thought in mind, Ian called the previously halted minion and gave him a new target.
*****************************
Luckily for Sara, Danny was too absorbed in his work to notice the odd expressions that managed to cross her face, despite her attempts to suppress them. The Wielder's mental rebukes to the Blade only served to spur it on. However, it wasn't until the bracelet showed her it's activities with Gabriel that she finally lost it. "What?" Sara screeched, jumping out of her chair.
He loud exclamation and the clattering of the chair in the previously quiet room startled her partner into violently spilling his coffee. "Jeeze, Pez. What was THAT about?" Danny asked peevishly as he wiped at the spill with a napkin.
Sara was too stunned for a moment to reply. When she finally came to her senses, she was at a loss for an explanation. "I... Uh..." she trailed off, trying to think of something believable. Danny wasn't in the least bit dense and was already suspicious of her behavior. 'I saw a spider' or the like wasn't going to fly with her perceptive partner.
"C'mon Pez, and don't tell me you saw a spider, cause you already tried that one," Danny groaned.
Fortunately for Sara, the rookie managed to save her from the inquisition. the Wielder silently sighed in relief as Jake suddenly burst into the office coughing, wheezing and reeking of perfume.
"What the-," Danny asked before pinching his nose in response to the overpowering olfactory offense. Jake's scented appearance had wiped Sara's outburst from his mind.
"Gee Jake, you smell terrific," Sara mocked as she pinched her nose also. "Though you might want to go a little lighter on the cologne next time," she added.
"Cologne?" Danny questioned with a raised brow. "Smells like girls' perfume to me," he commented. "Are you-?" Detective Woo began to ask, but was cut off by an irate Jake.
"I'm not gay!" the rookie protested vehemently.
"Take it easy Jake," Sara advised with a calming motion. "No one's challenging your machismo," she pacified. She was tempted to take a jab at his choice of fragrance but the rookie was already riled. Besides, she was a bit grateful for his opportune distraction.
"It wasn't- I didn't. Ahhg. It was this zippy little guy," he disparaged.
"Little Zippy guy?" Sara repeated, confused.
"Was it a midget?" Danny asked excitedly.
Sara sighed; she never did understand guys' bizarre amusement over midgets. She also didn't understand what midgets had to do with Jake reeking of 'Charlie', anyway.
Jake looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, not really, but close," he determined. "But he was small and really fast. He came out of nowhere, sprayed this stuff in my face and just totally coated me all over. He just kept squirting and squirting," the rookie complained morosely.
"I can't believe a trained police officer was completely helpless at the hands of a squirting midget," Danny commented, completely ignoring Jake's statement that it wasn't really a midget.
"I tried to get away, but my eyes were stinging and he was just too fast," the rookie protested.
"Ahh, um, sorry to hear that," Sara offered.
Just as Danny was about to comment, a scowling Orlinsky returned. His anticipated lambasting of Sara for slamming the door in his face and further questioning of the two detectives' mirth was aborted by a grin as he checked out Jake's ass. "I like the statement Rookie, but you might want to go a little easy on the perfume. It's not 'Deep-woods OFF', you know," he commented.
Jake half-turned to face Orlinsky, who was still flicking glances to the rookie's posterior. "What are you- Hey! Stop checking out my ass!" Jake barked at his superior. "That's harassment, you know," he added warningly.
Orlinsky simply held up his hands in surrender. Whatever was going on here was definitely not worth the trouble. Deciding to chalk the two detectives' behavior up to McCarty's hysteria, he decided to just let the matter drop and walk away.
********************************
a/n : Okay. I finally caved and made a follow up. Hope it didn't disappoint. I know, I know, Sara didn't get payback. Sorry. I had no choice, the muses seem to be running the show. Sorry they've been picking on Jake so much. I honestly have nothing against the poor guy. Rogue did want him smelling girly so at least I fulfilled one wish.
Aaaaarg. The tenebrous muses are killing me and I can't get to it because I just got caught in an undertow of work. Gah!
poisson d'avril
ch3
*****************************
Detectives Woo and Pezinni silently waited for Jake to get out of hearing range before simultaneously exploding with laughter. Sara, gripping her aching sides, rose to close the door on Orlinsky's face before he could ask them what the hell was so funny. As the irate detective scowled outside, Sara and Danny struggled to calm their giggle fits.
"That was, Ha, a.. Excellent work, Woo'" Sara gasped.
"I aim to please," Danny stated with a smug smile, vaguely resembling the one on Detective McCarty's ass. Sara noticed this, and burst into another peel of laughter.
Danny shot Sara a questioning look, but decided not to ask. Sara had been acting weird and making faces all morning. When she had screamed at the contents of her desk drawer, he'd decided he simply wasn't in the loop of all the pranks being played and probably didn't want to be.
Musing over the rookie's potentially amusing lunchbreak, Sara and her partner settled back to working on their respective filework. Danny was calmly filling out forms while the Wielder tried to ignore the dirty jokes her bracelet was telling her between visions of Jake's late lunch.
Sara tried to hide her smirk as image after image showed people of both genders returning the smile on the rookies' behind. Jake's reaction, when he caught these looks, was swinging wildly between smug acceptance and uncomfortable dismay.
*****************************
Ian had patched his wireless into the precinct's, and his own additional, surveillance systems. The assassin had looked up from the device's screen as Jake sauntered out of the building, amused and impressed by Detective Woo's cleverness.
The exact goal of the stunt hadn't dawned on him until he noticed a group of men in suits, checking out the rookie's butt and smiling with intrigued expressions. Ian surmised that one of the men must have commented when Jake had glanced back over his shoulder. Apparently, Detective McCarty noticed the group's admiration of his posterior, as the rookie's gait had immediately switched from cocky saunter to hurried scamper.
Detective Woo's folly was simple, yet devious. The assassin sincerely hoped that if Sara did indeed retaliate, she would not turn to her partner for advice. With that thought in mind, Ian called the previously halted minion and gave him a new target.
*****************************
Luckily for Sara, Danny was too absorbed in his work to notice the odd expressions that managed to cross her face, despite her attempts to suppress them. The Wielder's mental rebukes to the Blade only served to spur it on. However, it wasn't until the bracelet showed her it's activities with Gabriel that she finally lost it. "What?" Sara screeched, jumping out of her chair.
He loud exclamation and the clattering of the chair in the previously quiet room startled her partner into violently spilling his coffee. "Jeeze, Pez. What was THAT about?" Danny asked peevishly as he wiped at the spill with a napkin.
Sara was too stunned for a moment to reply. When she finally came to her senses, she was at a loss for an explanation. "I... Uh..." she trailed off, trying to think of something believable. Danny wasn't in the least bit dense and was already suspicious of her behavior. 'I saw a spider' or the like wasn't going to fly with her perceptive partner.
"C'mon Pez, and don't tell me you saw a spider, cause you already tried that one," Danny groaned.
Fortunately for Sara, the rookie managed to save her from the inquisition. the Wielder silently sighed in relief as Jake suddenly burst into the office coughing, wheezing and reeking of perfume.
"What the-," Danny asked before pinching his nose in response to the overpowering olfactory offense. Jake's scented appearance had wiped Sara's outburst from his mind.
"Gee Jake, you smell terrific," Sara mocked as she pinched her nose also. "Though you might want to go a little lighter on the cologne next time," she added.
"Cologne?" Danny questioned with a raised brow. "Smells like girls' perfume to me," he commented. "Are you-?" Detective Woo began to ask, but was cut off by an irate Jake.
"I'm not gay!" the rookie protested vehemently.
"Take it easy Jake," Sara advised with a calming motion. "No one's challenging your machismo," she pacified. She was tempted to take a jab at his choice of fragrance but the rookie was already riled. Besides, she was a bit grateful for his opportune distraction.
"It wasn't- I didn't. Ahhg. It was this zippy little guy," he disparaged.
"Little Zippy guy?" Sara repeated, confused.
"Was it a midget?" Danny asked excitedly.
Sara sighed; she never did understand guys' bizarre amusement over midgets. She also didn't understand what midgets had to do with Jake reeking of 'Charlie', anyway.
Jake looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, not really, but close," he determined. "But he was small and really fast. He came out of nowhere, sprayed this stuff in my face and just totally coated me all over. He just kept squirting and squirting," the rookie complained morosely.
"I can't believe a trained police officer was completely helpless at the hands of a squirting midget," Danny commented, completely ignoring Jake's statement that it wasn't really a midget.
"I tried to get away, but my eyes were stinging and he was just too fast," the rookie protested.
"Ahh, um, sorry to hear that," Sara offered.
Just as Danny was about to comment, a scowling Orlinsky returned. His anticipated lambasting of Sara for slamming the door in his face and further questioning of the two detectives' mirth was aborted by a grin as he checked out Jake's ass. "I like the statement Rookie, but you might want to go a little easy on the perfume. It's not 'Deep-woods OFF', you know," he commented.
Jake half-turned to face Orlinsky, who was still flicking glances to the rookie's posterior. "What are you- Hey! Stop checking out my ass!" Jake barked at his superior. "That's harassment, you know," he added warningly.
Orlinsky simply held up his hands in surrender. Whatever was going on here was definitely not worth the trouble. Deciding to chalk the two detectives' behavior up to McCarty's hysteria, he decided to just let the matter drop and walk away.
********************************
a/n : Okay. I finally caved and made a follow up. Hope it didn't disappoint. I know, I know, Sara didn't get payback. Sorry. I had no choice, the muses seem to be running the show. Sorry they've been picking on Jake so much. I honestly have nothing against the poor guy. Rogue did want him smelling girly so at least I fulfilled one wish.
Aaaaarg. The tenebrous muses are killing me and I can't get to it because I just got caught in an undertow of work. Gah!
