A very sweet and talented writer had convinced me to continue this despite my self inflicted cut-off date of April 1st. I decided to post it here as well, since it's already written. I hope it amuses, er at least a little. I miss the 'not exactly a midget'.

The characters belong to Top cow and TNT as do all their toys, accessories and appliances, including the Witchblade. Everything else is just hearsay and rumors.

poisson d'avril
ch6

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As the two detectives stepped out into the balmy spring air, Sara pleaded with her hesitant partner. "You've got to have some idea how I can get back at Nottingham, Danny. I need retribution," she insisted.

Detective Woo considered Sara's entreaty briefly before deciding to go with self-preservation, despite his partner's hopeful expression.

"Don't drag me in on this, Pez," Danny responded. "The man may be sweet on you, but I'm not so sure he wouldn't take a pot shot at me," he stated.

"He wouldn't know it was you, Danny," Sara argued. When her argument was met by silence she decided to push. "It's not like I couldn't come up with a plan on my own," she griped as they headed towards a coffee stand.

To this, Danny raised an amused eyebrow. "Okay, tell me your plan then," he challenged amicably.

Detective Pezzini furrowed her brows in thought for a full thirty seconds before giving up.

Her partner couldn't help but laugh. "Oh Sara, there is no way in hell it won't get pinned on me," He protested. "That's all I need; some dangerous guy with a vendetta," he added, shaking his head.

"C'mon, please. Just one idea, anything." Sara pleaded.

With a martyred sigh, Danny gave in - sort of. "Okay. Barter," he stated flatly.

"Barter?" Sara whined, not a bit happy with Danny's solution.

"Yeah, you tell me what was up with you this morning and I give you a trick to play on 'Vlad the stalker'," Danny replied.

Sara blanched. Of course, Danny would zoom right in on the one trade she couldn't make. "I, I was just on edge," Sara stated nervously.

"Being on edge does not explain why you found a very depressing case file suddenly incredibly amusing or why Orlinsky's tie gave you the creeps... all morning."

Sara tried for a rebuttal, but only managed silent gesticulations as Danny continued.

"Nor does it explain you suddenly freezing up and posing like some messed up mannequin. Man, Pez, you were standing there for nearly five minutes, posing with that cup like some bizarre coffee ad. Jake balanced a file on your head, you know," Danny asserted.

*So that's why there were papers fluttering around me when I came to,* Sara mused. The bracelet on her wrist snickered mockingly at Sara's reverie. "I don't have any other explanation, Danny, I was flustered," Sara insisted. "You saw all that crap Nottingham pulled on me, and... and it was worse before I even got here. He put bows on my bike!" she exclaimed.

"No deal, I'm not buying it," Danny sighed. "I'm not going to risk payback from Nosferatu for the usual, 'I was edgy/tired' excuse. You've been way too weird today and Dante said he saw you giving yourself the finger while wearing some weird 'Transformers' glove," Danny stated.

"How about a new deal, something else?" Sara suggested, handing Danny a coffee.

Danny considered the offer, while sipping what he assumed to be some sort of weak bribery. "Hm... Okay. Answer me another question... Truthfully," he suggested.

"Sure, anything," Sara quickly agreed, hoping the other question didn't also involve the blade.

"You bonked Bowman at lunch, didn't you." Danny stated, rather then asked.

Unfortunately, Sara had chosen the wrong moment to take a sip of coffee. Her response was neither a 'yes' or 'no', but a spray of hot liquid on the man who had just sold her the beverage.

"Jebus Cripes, Lady! What is you problem!" the man screeched.

"Oh! Sorry! I'm so sorry," Sara babbled, backing up just in case the man decided to take a swing at her. Fortunately, the proprietor made no such lunge, so she attempted to make amends. As she reached for a napkin, however, she noticed the wayward amulet on her wrist twinkling with glee. Not sure if it was amused by her doubled distress or hankering to get her into a brawl, she quickly flung the paper wipes at the man and rammed her hand into her jacket pocket.

As the wad of napkins smacked the street vendor in the chest, the man noticed Sara's swift and suspicious movement. Thinking she was about to threaten him with a gun, he quickly backed up as well. He was about to start screaming for the police when Sara's partner intervened, albeit not to the advantage of Sara's reputation.

"It's okay, sir. Calm down, I'm a police officer," Danny soothed, stepping between the two and flashing his badge. "This woman is a bit touched in the head, but completely harmless," he stated.

The vendor stared wide-eyed at the detective a moment before slowly nodding his understanding. "A crazy," he stated, finally.

"Yeah, just a crazy. Sorry for the trouble," Danny professed politely before snagging Sara's elbow and hustling her away. "Damn, Pez, I can't believe the stunt you pulled just to get out of answering a simple question," he complained to his miffed partner once they were out of earshot of the vendor.

"I wha? Danny, that was an accident!" Sara howled.

"Maybe my question took you by surprise, but throwing those napkins and pretending to go for a weapon, was not funny," Danny conveyed miserably. "You nearly gave the guy a seizure," he scowled.

"It was, I wh- I'm sorry," Sara groaned pitifully. She really hated the Blade today. No wonder Gabriel stayed away from his shop on April 1st. After all the Talisman's shenanigans, all it had to do was twinkle to freak her out.

Danny stopped and shook his head. "I wish you'd just told me to back off, rather than act out like that. Two reports of 'homicide detectives gone wild' in the same day would not have pleased the captain," he scolded.

Sara had forgotten about Jake's incident. She was lucky Danny had calmed the man. She really didn't need to see her picture next to Jake's in 'The Voice', under the headline: 'Homicide cops turn homicidal'.

"You definitely owe me an answer now," Danny stated irritably, causing his partner to flinch.

It took Sara a moment to realize Danny was talking about Gabriel, and not her napkin assault on the vendor. "Oh, you mean about..." Sara sighed.

"You doing Bowman," her partner finished. "God, Sara, you used to tell me all kinds of stuff. I can't believe your hiding something so minor," Danny griped.

"Danny, I did not 'bonk' Gabriel," Sara stated. "And I have no idea where you came up with that ridiculous notion," she retorted.

"Oh c'mon, Pez. You come back from lunch all calm and relaxed," Danny crooned teasingly.

"How do you derive 'I had sex' from that?" She demanded.

"You were a wreck when you left. AND you practically went crimson when you told Jake; 'Gabriel likes lots of things'. Honestly, it's obvious," Detective Woo stated with a smirk.

The Wielder was appalled. She couldn't believe she was taking the rap for her bracelet going nympho on Gabriel. "Well, you're wrong. *I* didn't do anything," Sara argued.

"Oh really?" Danny countered, obviously not convinced.

"It wasn't me," Sara began, only to have Nottingham's *I was possessed* soliloquy suddenly pop into her head, making her wish she could pop the irksome Blade. "You know what? Forget it. Fine, we went at it like rabbits. Now how do I get back at Nottingham?" Sara snapped.
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Rather than brood over what evil plot Sara's partner would cook up on her behalf, Ian decided to occupy himself by challenging the Rookie's threat. Allowing his odiferous target a little time to 'air out' before striking, he waited till the man reached his car.

Jake was fumbling for his car keys while trying to keep his fanny covered, when a shadow suddenly fell over him.

"Hello, smiley cheeks," Ian purred with a grin, deliberately startling the Rookie senseless as he materialized inches from the blonde's face.

"Gblah!" Jake blurted, nearly peeing his pants and dropping the keys.

"So when do I get it, Detective?" the assassin murmured cheekily.

"Get w- what?" the Rookie stammered, thoroughly confused by the intimidating man's question.

"What's coming to me," Ian stated archly.

Jake's mind drew a complete blank... and then started scribbling a variety of images he'd rather not see. "Whoa, hey! I'm not- um... Never," the Rookie finally managed, trying to stand his ground.

"Never?" Nottingham queried, stepping back and feigning a look of shock. He was actually grateful to have an excuse to remove himself from the blonde's proximity, as he had begun to wish he'd waited longer for Jake's 'Charlie' scent to fade. The assassin's little minion had really gotten the Rookie good.

Jake was still unsure of what the man expected to get from him but decided to stick by his decision. "Yeah, sorry pal," Jake stated, crossing his arms and trying to appear manly and in control despite his 'Empowered woman' scent.

Judging by Jake's response, the assassin concluded that the Rookie had completely forgot his threat in the precinct, even though Ian had repeated it practically word for word. Obviously, all the ass ogling had affected his mind. "That is most likely a wise decision, Detective," Ian paused before adding; "Albeit cowardly," before vanishing from view.

In the blink of an eye, Jake was left standing alone by his car. As if the assassin's departure somehow allowed his brain to resume functioning, the meaning behind the arresting, black-clad man's query smacked him in the head. "Oh crap" Jake muttered.

Furious that the intimidating stalker had tricked him into accidentally negating his boast, Jake snatched his keys from the ground and decided to head home with what little dignity he had left. A good workout and a little flexing in the mirror would probably cheer him up, though some type of revenge would be better.

As he was driving home, brooding over his temporary Alzheimer's fit and the dark man's emasculating comment, Jake happened to spy a familiar figure strolling merrily through Central Park. "Kismet," he murmured with a smile.
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