The characters belong to Top cow and TNT as do all their toys, accessories and appliances, including the Witchblade. Everything else is just hearsay and rumors.
*warnings, apologies and excuses* Swearing ******************** denotes change of scenery
poisson d'avril ch 7 *****************************
Detective Woo snickered at his partner's impudent outburst. "Nice visual, Pez," He chortled.
Sara merely rolled her eyes. She really didn't need anymore visuals. As it was, it would probably be months before she could even look at Gabriel without turning crimson. The bawdy blade had perused every inch and nerve of his body like a band of brazen hussies. She was actually impressed by her friend's restraint, even though the sensory overload had rendered him temporarily unconscious before the Blade finally released him.
"Yo! Pez!" Danny hailed, bringing her out of her reverie.
"Uh, sorry," Sara mumbled, embarrassed that she couldn't even really blame the Blade this time.
Not wanting to know the cause of Sara's overt battle with salacity and chagrin, Danny pressed on to the task at hand. "I do have a plan for getting a little payback on your stalker," Danny began. "But we're going to need outside assistance since Mr. Badass isn't your regular Joe. If Jake thinks the guy has enough covert skills to draw a smiley on his ass without him knowing, he must be pretty stealthy and cunning, which rules out any plan involving his person or possessions," Danny surmised. "He's just a guy, not a god, Danny," Sara argued.
Disregarding Sara's protest, Detective Woo continued his assessment. "We won't be able to sneak up on him or anything like that and he'll be expecting some sort of prank from you. That also rules out any phone calls or you approaching him. So we're gonna have to do this remotely, relying on his curiosity and the assumption that he is still monitoring the office," he added.
"So what outside help were you thinking?" Sara queried. Revenge was beginning to sound impossible by Danny's observations and she was beginning to wonder if her partner was considering calling in the National Guard.
"Bowman and your bracelet," Danny stated flatly.
Sara's first thought was: *No way in hell was she letting those two in a room together again.* Her second thought was: *WHAT THE #$%*?!*
Danny simply shrugged his shoulders in response to Sara's gaping astonishment.
"My bracelet? What are you talking about?" Sara nervously babbled, tucking it behind her back as if her partner might make a grab for it.
"Pez, I'm a detective," Danny sighed. "That thing lights up like you've got an incoming call," he stated, pointing to the currently docile amulet. "And suddenly you have information that no-one else does," he asserted and took a sip of coffee while ignoring the fact that Sara looked as if she might begin hyperventilating at any moment.
"I um," Sara stammered, searching desperately for an excuse or anything to negate his theory.
"AND you're suddenly best buddies with a guy who deals in talismans and weird stuff," Detective Woo appended. "So what is it - some kind of ancient telecommunications device?" he queried flippantly.
"Um, uh... Sorta, I guess," Sara admitted reluctantly. There really didn't seem to be any point in arguing at this point. But since Danny knew something about the blade's capabilities she was a bit miffed that he'd blamed the coffee incident on her.
"So if you already guessed what this thing can do, why did you act like the coffee vendor assault was my idea?" Sara accused.
"It told you to throw napkins at the guy and ram your fist in your pocket?" Danny quipped, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "Sorry, I didn't catch it glowing that time, must've been distracted," he muttered casually.
The way he put it, it did sound ridiculous. "I... It's been acting up today," Sara sighed. She had to admit it was quite a relief that Danny had accepted her bracelet so easily. She wondered how long it had taken him to figure it out.
"Ah... So the mannequin impersonations, screaming at drawers and odd expressions were all because that thing is malfunctioning." Danny concluded. "Hm, maybe we shouldn't do this," he suggested.
"What?! No, we have to, I need this Danny" Sara whined. "Nottingham made my morning a living hell," Sara complained. "My toothpaste, my coffee, my window, the condoms..." she prattled on.
"You sure you want to risk it?" Danny queried hesitantly.
"Yes," Sara stated determinedly. She refused to back down from a challenge; she was the Wielder, after all.
"Okay, but if this backfires because of that thing glitching, I am heading for the hills and you are on your own," Danny stated earnestly.
"Understood," Detective Pezzini avowed before getting on with the scheme. "So what do we need Gabriel for?" Sara queried, feeling her resolve waver at the thought of addressing him after what her naughty blade did to him.
"He's our outside guy," Danny disclosed. "Your stalker shouldn't suspect him as the instigator and him dropping by with the ploy should be pretty believable. After that, it will be up to you and your funky bracelet to do the rest," he resolved.
*************************
Jake parked his car and headed into Central Park on foot. By the time he caught up with his intended target, Gabriel was splayed in the grass, seemingly asleep in the dappled sunlight.
The Rookie sized up Mr. Smarty-Pants as he sidled up to him, figuring he could take the slender man easily if he gave him any guff. He was really hoping he would. Someone had to pay for the crap he'd been put through and Bowman's contentedly relaxed demeanor was just asking for some whoopass.
"Hey Bowman," Jake spat derisively.
Gabriel's serene repose had been rudely defiled when some woman whose liberal application of perfume could be considered a health hazard, strode up to him. "Ugh! Lady..." he coughed before realizing it was a man addressing him.
Jake was pissed that the delinquent had gotten in the first insult, but decided to ignore the remark. As Gabriel attempted to roll over, Jake placed his foot squarely on his stomach. "Uh, uh," He warned, applying pressure when the younger man tried to wriggle away.
Squinting up at the stinky offender, Gabriel realized it was Sara's rookie partner and he was confused. "McCartey? What's with the perfume?" he queried, wondering why they guy was pinning him to the ground.
"I got a couple questions for you BOWman," Jake stated imperiously.
"If it's about your choice in fragrance, I think it fits you pretty well, but you might want to go a little lighter with the application," Gabriel asserted, still a bit disconcerted about the foot on his belly. Maybe everyone else had just run away from the man's stench and he was desperate for a captive audience to review his new girly cologne, he speculated.
"It's not about that," the Rookie snapped. His own sense of smell had adjusted to the scent and he didn't see why Gabriel was making such a big deal about it. "It's about what you've been up to today," Jake stated. "What 'have' you been doing?" he inquired in a menacing tone, leaning in closer.
Gabriel responded with a coughing fit that jiggled the detective's foot. McCartey's increased proximity brought the stench up to unbearable levels and he was beginning to consider Jake's interrogation torture. "Please,..." he managed, while grasping for something to cover his nose. His eyes had started to water by the time he managed to latch on to his discarded jacket and press it to his face. "... back off," he pleaded through the blessed fabric.
"Uh, uh," Jake replied, pleased to have the guy begging. "You're going to tell me EXACTLY everything you've done today," he commanded with a satisfied smirk.
"Everything?" Gabriel squeaked through the cloth. "But why? Can't you just ask me what you think I did?" he implored, hoping to get the session over quickly.
"What I KNOW you did," Jake corrected. "And you're going to tell me," he jeered smugly, staring Gabriel straight in the eyes.
"I... woke up; showered; had lunch with Sara and went for a stroll in the park. That's it," Gabriel shrugged. It was pretty much the truth.
"You're lying," Detective McCartey stated firmly. He could tell by the way Gabriel had quickly averted his eyes while mentioning 'lunch'. He was hiding something. "I KNOW you weren't just eating a burger or chatting with Sara around noon. I want details of every minute of your *lunch*, Bowman," Jake demanded, giving Gabriel's stomach a small thrust with his foot.
A gasp of dismay escaped Gabriel's lips with the forced exhalation. Surely McCartey couldn't know about the incident with Sara's amulet. And if he did, why would he demand details of the scandalous affair?
Bowman's reaction had confirmed Jake's suspicions. They guy had obviously been up to something, judging by his 'deer caught in the headlights' expression and sudden stillness. "Well, Bowman? I'm waiting." Jake pressured. He loved interrogations, they were his specialty.
Even if the Rookie had somehow found out about the Blade's activities with him, it still didn't explain why McCartey had suddenly turned into some deranged, lewd pervert. Did the guy think he would just dish out the details like some sort of porn essay? No way. No fucking way was he going to humor the psycho with the foot on his belly, squashed intestines or no. "Fuck off, Detective. Get your thrills elsewhere," Gabriel blurted angrily.
"Get MY thrills, I think you're the one who was getting his thrills," Jake stated accusingly. He was becoming more and more convinced that Gabriel was somehow responsible for his smiling ass and possibly the perfume assault. He'd suspected Sara had blamed the Dracula guy just to throw him off her friend's scent as he'd already seen first-hand how she let's Gabriel get away with whatever he wants.
"Wha?" Gabriel gasped in offense, blushing fiercely. "THAT is none of your business, Detective," he snapped and yanked the detective's foot off his stomach, sending the Rookie flying backward onto his ass. He'd had quite enough of the detective's audacious and obtrusive behavior. Quickly springing to his feet, he snatched up his jacket and stomped off leaving a confused Rookie sprawled on the ground.
. ********************************tbc
Ardent fan - Sorry for not keeping up with this on the LLan board. I will most likely do a mass posting there when I get a chance. My computer was having problems loading the pages. I buckled to your curiousity a little here (But slightly more on the WB board, because it's easier to edit). Writing blue is a bit embarrassing for me and I'm not very good at it. Gabriel does elaberate slightly on what happened, but I chopped it out for ff net and will most likely edit it out of the other post on Witchblade Connections. I put it in just for you, so I'll wait till I think you've seen it before editing that one also. It's just a little hint, but it's all I'm capable of writing without blushing, so I'm REALLY not looking forward to writing the the events of Ian's prank.
Thank you Mako-chan Wolf, Fae Rain, IrishRavenX and everyone else who has cheered this little accident on. The next chapter is already written, so there shouldn't be a long wait, I just have some projects I need to work on, that I've put off by reading and trying to catch up on others' stories. But I think I'm into the home stretch on this story. Whew!
Thanks, again to the wonderful Roguegal17 for beta'ing this and putting up with my guff. :)
*warnings, apologies and excuses* Swearing ******************** denotes change of scenery
poisson d'avril ch 7 *****************************
Detective Woo snickered at his partner's impudent outburst. "Nice visual, Pez," He chortled.
Sara merely rolled her eyes. She really didn't need anymore visuals. As it was, it would probably be months before she could even look at Gabriel without turning crimson. The bawdy blade had perused every inch and nerve of his body like a band of brazen hussies. She was actually impressed by her friend's restraint, even though the sensory overload had rendered him temporarily unconscious before the Blade finally released him.
"Yo! Pez!" Danny hailed, bringing her out of her reverie.
"Uh, sorry," Sara mumbled, embarrassed that she couldn't even really blame the Blade this time.
Not wanting to know the cause of Sara's overt battle with salacity and chagrin, Danny pressed on to the task at hand. "I do have a plan for getting a little payback on your stalker," Danny began. "But we're going to need outside assistance since Mr. Badass isn't your regular Joe. If Jake thinks the guy has enough covert skills to draw a smiley on his ass without him knowing, he must be pretty stealthy and cunning, which rules out any plan involving his person or possessions," Danny surmised. "He's just a guy, not a god, Danny," Sara argued.
Disregarding Sara's protest, Detective Woo continued his assessment. "We won't be able to sneak up on him or anything like that and he'll be expecting some sort of prank from you. That also rules out any phone calls or you approaching him. So we're gonna have to do this remotely, relying on his curiosity and the assumption that he is still monitoring the office," he added.
"So what outside help were you thinking?" Sara queried. Revenge was beginning to sound impossible by Danny's observations and she was beginning to wonder if her partner was considering calling in the National Guard.
"Bowman and your bracelet," Danny stated flatly.
Sara's first thought was: *No way in hell was she letting those two in a room together again.* Her second thought was: *WHAT THE #$%*?!*
Danny simply shrugged his shoulders in response to Sara's gaping astonishment.
"My bracelet? What are you talking about?" Sara nervously babbled, tucking it behind her back as if her partner might make a grab for it.
"Pez, I'm a detective," Danny sighed. "That thing lights up like you've got an incoming call," he stated, pointing to the currently docile amulet. "And suddenly you have information that no-one else does," he asserted and took a sip of coffee while ignoring the fact that Sara looked as if she might begin hyperventilating at any moment.
"I um," Sara stammered, searching desperately for an excuse or anything to negate his theory.
"AND you're suddenly best buddies with a guy who deals in talismans and weird stuff," Detective Woo appended. "So what is it - some kind of ancient telecommunications device?" he queried flippantly.
"Um, uh... Sorta, I guess," Sara admitted reluctantly. There really didn't seem to be any point in arguing at this point. But since Danny knew something about the blade's capabilities she was a bit miffed that he'd blamed the coffee incident on her.
"So if you already guessed what this thing can do, why did you act like the coffee vendor assault was my idea?" Sara accused.
"It told you to throw napkins at the guy and ram your fist in your pocket?" Danny quipped, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "Sorry, I didn't catch it glowing that time, must've been distracted," he muttered casually.
The way he put it, it did sound ridiculous. "I... It's been acting up today," Sara sighed. She had to admit it was quite a relief that Danny had accepted her bracelet so easily. She wondered how long it had taken him to figure it out.
"Ah... So the mannequin impersonations, screaming at drawers and odd expressions were all because that thing is malfunctioning." Danny concluded. "Hm, maybe we shouldn't do this," he suggested.
"What?! No, we have to, I need this Danny" Sara whined. "Nottingham made my morning a living hell," Sara complained. "My toothpaste, my coffee, my window, the condoms..." she prattled on.
"You sure you want to risk it?" Danny queried hesitantly.
"Yes," Sara stated determinedly. She refused to back down from a challenge; she was the Wielder, after all.
"Okay, but if this backfires because of that thing glitching, I am heading for the hills and you are on your own," Danny stated earnestly.
"Understood," Detective Pezzini avowed before getting on with the scheme. "So what do we need Gabriel for?" Sara queried, feeling her resolve waver at the thought of addressing him after what her naughty blade did to him.
"He's our outside guy," Danny disclosed. "Your stalker shouldn't suspect him as the instigator and him dropping by with the ploy should be pretty believable. After that, it will be up to you and your funky bracelet to do the rest," he resolved.
*************************
Jake parked his car and headed into Central Park on foot. By the time he caught up with his intended target, Gabriel was splayed in the grass, seemingly asleep in the dappled sunlight.
The Rookie sized up Mr. Smarty-Pants as he sidled up to him, figuring he could take the slender man easily if he gave him any guff. He was really hoping he would. Someone had to pay for the crap he'd been put through and Bowman's contentedly relaxed demeanor was just asking for some whoopass.
"Hey Bowman," Jake spat derisively.
Gabriel's serene repose had been rudely defiled when some woman whose liberal application of perfume could be considered a health hazard, strode up to him. "Ugh! Lady..." he coughed before realizing it was a man addressing him.
Jake was pissed that the delinquent had gotten in the first insult, but decided to ignore the remark. As Gabriel attempted to roll over, Jake placed his foot squarely on his stomach. "Uh, uh," He warned, applying pressure when the younger man tried to wriggle away.
Squinting up at the stinky offender, Gabriel realized it was Sara's rookie partner and he was confused. "McCartey? What's with the perfume?" he queried, wondering why they guy was pinning him to the ground.
"I got a couple questions for you BOWman," Jake stated imperiously.
"If it's about your choice in fragrance, I think it fits you pretty well, but you might want to go a little lighter with the application," Gabriel asserted, still a bit disconcerted about the foot on his belly. Maybe everyone else had just run away from the man's stench and he was desperate for a captive audience to review his new girly cologne, he speculated.
"It's not about that," the Rookie snapped. His own sense of smell had adjusted to the scent and he didn't see why Gabriel was making such a big deal about it. "It's about what you've been up to today," Jake stated. "What 'have' you been doing?" he inquired in a menacing tone, leaning in closer.
Gabriel responded with a coughing fit that jiggled the detective's foot. McCartey's increased proximity brought the stench up to unbearable levels and he was beginning to consider Jake's interrogation torture. "Please,..." he managed, while grasping for something to cover his nose. His eyes had started to water by the time he managed to latch on to his discarded jacket and press it to his face. "... back off," he pleaded through the blessed fabric.
"Uh, uh," Jake replied, pleased to have the guy begging. "You're going to tell me EXACTLY everything you've done today," he commanded with a satisfied smirk.
"Everything?" Gabriel squeaked through the cloth. "But why? Can't you just ask me what you think I did?" he implored, hoping to get the session over quickly.
"What I KNOW you did," Jake corrected. "And you're going to tell me," he jeered smugly, staring Gabriel straight in the eyes.
"I... woke up; showered; had lunch with Sara and went for a stroll in the park. That's it," Gabriel shrugged. It was pretty much the truth.
"You're lying," Detective McCartey stated firmly. He could tell by the way Gabriel had quickly averted his eyes while mentioning 'lunch'. He was hiding something. "I KNOW you weren't just eating a burger or chatting with Sara around noon. I want details of every minute of your *lunch*, Bowman," Jake demanded, giving Gabriel's stomach a small thrust with his foot.
A gasp of dismay escaped Gabriel's lips with the forced exhalation. Surely McCartey couldn't know about the incident with Sara's amulet. And if he did, why would he demand details of the scandalous affair?
Bowman's reaction had confirmed Jake's suspicions. They guy had obviously been up to something, judging by his 'deer caught in the headlights' expression and sudden stillness. "Well, Bowman? I'm waiting." Jake pressured. He loved interrogations, they were his specialty.
Even if the Rookie had somehow found out about the Blade's activities with him, it still didn't explain why McCartey had suddenly turned into some deranged, lewd pervert. Did the guy think he would just dish out the details like some sort of porn essay? No way. No fucking way was he going to humor the psycho with the foot on his belly, squashed intestines or no. "Fuck off, Detective. Get your thrills elsewhere," Gabriel blurted angrily.
"Get MY thrills, I think you're the one who was getting his thrills," Jake stated accusingly. He was becoming more and more convinced that Gabriel was somehow responsible for his smiling ass and possibly the perfume assault. He'd suspected Sara had blamed the Dracula guy just to throw him off her friend's scent as he'd already seen first-hand how she let's Gabriel get away with whatever he wants.
"Wha?" Gabriel gasped in offense, blushing fiercely. "THAT is none of your business, Detective," he snapped and yanked the detective's foot off his stomach, sending the Rookie flying backward onto his ass. He'd had quite enough of the detective's audacious and obtrusive behavior. Quickly springing to his feet, he snatched up his jacket and stomped off leaving a confused Rookie sprawled on the ground.
. ********************************tbc
Ardent fan - Sorry for not keeping up with this on the LLan board. I will most likely do a mass posting there when I get a chance. My computer was having problems loading the pages. I buckled to your curiousity a little here (But slightly more on the WB board, because it's easier to edit). Writing blue is a bit embarrassing for me and I'm not very good at it. Gabriel does elaberate slightly on what happened, but I chopped it out for ff net and will most likely edit it out of the other post on Witchblade Connections. I put it in just for you, so I'll wait till I think you've seen it before editing that one also. It's just a little hint, but it's all I'm capable of writing without blushing, so I'm REALLY not looking forward to writing the the events of Ian's prank.
Thank you Mako-chan Wolf, Fae Rain, IrishRavenX and everyone else who has cheered this little accident on. The next chapter is already written, so there shouldn't be a long wait, I just have some projects I need to work on, that I've put off by reading and trying to catch up on others' stories. But I think I'm into the home stretch on this story. Whew!
Thanks, again to the wonderful Roguegal17 for beta'ing this and putting up with my guff. :)
