UltraM2000: It's over! *sniff* It's so touching! Thank you for staying with me to the end!
Gojyo: Only because you dragged us into this pit of youkai!
M2000: Better not cross me, dear Gojyo. I'm working on your fiction as we speak. You don't want me to break your *other* wrist, do you?
Gojyo: ME? NO! What goes on in it?! I don't want to have more fluff! And whaddya mean my other wrist? You stabbed Hakkai in the lungs and took Han's throat out, what are you going to do to me?! Oi! Answer me! Don't run away!
UltraM2000: Gomen! Must go upload this ultra-fluffy conclusion!

Hakkai fans (as opposed to, say, […x]Hakkai[x…] fans ;)), rejoice! This fic is unadulterated Saiyuki/Hakkai fluff! It's based wholly on the anime, since I have had no experience with the manga. I hope you enjoy(ed) it, and please do R and R! I would greatly appreciate it! ^_^
flare--sankyuu! :)
Lady L. Artemisan--Don't we BOTH wish we were Meiryu-chan just to um...hem...get close to a certain bishounen? ;)
Gokugurl--Reread the previous chappie. Now ya happy, you violent little kouhai? ^_^ And btw, that was not yaoi, it was fluff. Hell is still nice and hot.

As sure as the Saiyuki ikkou drive to the west and as sure as I have come up with one last epithet for my disclaimer…Gensoumaden Saiyuki is not mine in any way. Neither is the song 'Open Up Your Mind' which is sampled here. I only own a Saiyuki fanbook that is falling apart after only a month—but I do own these translations, and I would love to be a spectator in this fluffy conclusion to Smile of The Father. Tissues, please. Lots of 'em. *sniff*

Smile of the Father
By UltraM2000

CONCLUSION
A SELFISH SONG
Mitsukarareta Warai

Images played before Hakkai's eyes in the darkness—images of his childhood, his encounter with Kanan, how the love between them had deepened and grown, how she had been stolen from him, how Gojyo had saved him, and at last how Cho Gonou had become Cho Hakkai.

Such a sad, blood-tinged past, one would think. Such a sad goodbye.

Dakara…sayounara, Gonou…

Kanan. How long had he waited for this day? How long had he waited to die if only to be with her once more? Six long years—it seemed closer to sixteen.

And then, he heard it. The Voice.

'Hakkai-niichan! Ne, Hakkai-niichan! Come on, let's go! The rice is ready for harvesting! Let's go do it together! We can tell them how sorry we both feel for it, how it has to die for us to stay alive, and it'll be all right…

'Won't it, otousan? Won't it? Otousan?'

Hakkai smiled sadly, a smile that had seen much use but seemed so very unworn. "Sumimasen ne, Kanan…forgive me. Mou osoi narimasu…desu…kedo…"

_I'm going to be late again. But I have something to live for now, and while Meiryu is with me, I will fight Death for all I'm worth._

--------------------

Hakkai slowly opened his eyes and looked around. All was dim and peaceful, and the faint smell of oranges and pine was in the air. He could swear he heard singing.

How much painkiller had they forced into him anyway, he wondered.

Even if it looks like everything just can't go your way today
When you feel like you must give up the fight
If you close your eyes and look deep within your heart
You'll find it bears a world of light

_Don't tell me heaven looks like an ordinary bedroom too…_ he thought.

No. It wasn't heaven. Heaven wouldn't have Meiryu kneeling beside the bed, asleep with her head on her arms and long brown hair all askew.

Hakkai reached out—the still-raw wound in his chest reminded him of its presence, making him wince—and touched her silken hair with his fingertips. She stirred slightly, and woke.

In this world when life can be so tough you must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don't you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

"Otousan…" she murmured, struggling to maintain her composure. Hakkai shook his head gently, beseeching her silently to not speak as he ran his hand through her tresses over and over, tracing the contours of her small, slight face, as if to assure himself that yes, she was real and alive and the part of him he had lost six years before. Her own small digits closed tight round his wrist, the only part of him she could reach, and she pressed his hand to her own warm cheek as the tears ran down. Her tiny shoulders shook with pent-up sobs.

Even on a lonely night, even when you're lost and full of fright,
Even if you are alone now, with these legs, there isn't anywhere
To where you cannot walk on your own…

"Meiryu, don't cry…please, don't be sad. You've cried so much already…"

"I won't cry no more…I'm not sad…I'm just so happy…I'm so, so happy because I finally found you!" she exclaimed, giving his hand a fervent squeeze.

"Meiryuu…Boku mo ureshii desu yo…aeru kara…" whispered Hakkai, and father and daughter embraced knowing each other for the first time. The music reached a crescendo.

Just hold on tight, if you close your tired eyes
Look inside yourself, there is light shining through your soul
Yes, I want you to believe all that must be
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight, though your heart is breaking down
Reach into your soul though you can't see tomorrow coming
Yes if you have that power to survive
You can take another look from the other side
'Til you find all that we can call our love…

Now we have found all that we call our love…

They made a pretty picture, those two—pale cheek to pale cheek, green eye next to green eye and their tears of joy mingling as one.

--------------------

After a week, with provisions all tied down in the back of Hakuryuu, the Sanzo-ikkou was ready to leave. Now the town was cleansed of demons, the villagers had no more to fear. Life would begin anew, and the town would grow once more, as it should.

"Hakkai's late," grumbled Sanzo.

"Oh, let him be, blondie," snapped Gojyo, "he deserves the downtime."

The fact Sanzo just shrugged and shut up is proof enough that the world is full of miracles.

At what used to be Old Han's shack, Meiryu had her head resting on Hakkai's shoulder, taking in his clean scent again. "Please don't go, otousan. We just met, and I…I don't want to lose you again."

_Unfortunately, another sad goodbye,_ thought Hakkai to himself. "Meiryu…" He untied his thick green bandanna and
placed it in her hand. "As long as you have this…" he touched Kanan's cross choker, "…And this…" he indicated the headband, "and this," he continued, touching her chest over the heart, "we will always have each other."

Meiryu nodded, and hugged Hakkai for the last time, trying hard not to cry like she had promised him. "Goodbye, otousan. Take care," she said, her voice trembling.

"Goodbye, musume." Hakkai really had to struggle to smile this time. Tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes. "Be a
good girl and listen to your future guardian, ne?"

Meiryu nodded. "I will! But come back for me someday, won't you?"

Hakkai nodded, ruffled her hair and left.

Minutes later, she heard Hakuryuu start up and drive off with a happy 'kyuu!', and she ran from the shack, following the path of the green jeep.

"Otousan! Otousan! Take care! Otousan! Sanzo-niichan! Gojyo-niichan! Goku-niichan! Sayounara!!!"

He would be back. He promised!

Goku waved for all of them until Meiryu disappeared from sight. Sanzo was quietly reading the newspapers. "Hakkai, Hakuryuu's weaving all over the road. Are you all right?" he asked without looking up.

"Yes…yes I am," Hakkai replied cheerfully, but his eyes seemed especially moist and shiny.

Goku, however, had a lot more intelligence than the others credited him for. He knew right away something was wrong, and leaned comfortingly over Hakkai's shoulder to whisper something in his ear.

"Naa, Hakkai, where's your headband?"

"A-anou..."

--------------------

At the inn that night, Hakkai was doing his laundry in the bathroom and humming softly to himself. He looked over his green jacket carefully. The mended rip across the chest wasn't even noticeable—he was quite proud of his sewing skills, but…

_Hello, what's this on the back of my shirt? _

Two small handprint-shaped stains of dried blood stared him in the face and Hakkai felt a pang of loneliness.

Y'know, the cloth he slung over his shoulder would hide the stains. Maybe he should just leave the prints there to remind him somewhere out there, he had someone to live for. Maybe he should leave them there to remind himself he had fought and defended. Maybe…

No. He had better memories of Meiryu within him. Much, much better than two small and bloody handprints.

Hakkai got out the soap and started scrubbing.

--------------------

Someday, I will come back, Kanan, and take our child from the village to live with me. She will be taller, older, and the cross will be a choker once again, but we will remember each other. Your malachite eyes and mine are hers as well, as is our brown-ebon hair and the love we shared for each other. She is our proof.

I must live long and cheat death for longer, for my life must pay for your own too, must it not?

Someday, I will have a family again.

Someday, when I can stop driving Hakuryuu towards the blood-red setting sun.

-oshimai-

--------------------

Japanese notes

Boku mo ureshii desu yo…aeru kara = In this context, 'I'm glad that I found you too'. (I'm glad we were able to meet too)
Mou osoi narimasu desu kedo = 'although I'm going to be late again…'
Musume = daughter
Sumimasen = excuse me, sorry
Oshimai = The End.

If you got this far without clicking off, know that this chapter of S.O.T.F. is dedicated to my grand-aunt who died yesterday. She was almost 90 and passed on in her sleep, but the fact remains death is still death.

*silently goes and glomps Hakkai-sama. Whether he glomps back is his own decision.*