Disclaimer: I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena so don't sue me.
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CHAPTER 4
THE AKIO CAR CHAPTER
A few days pass with typical abnormal activity that wasn't weird enough to write about. On the sixth day of the first week...
Akio smirked to himself as he sat down in his chair next to Kanae "The time has come." Kanae looked up from her book slightly confused "What're you talking about?" Akio jumped up pointing a finger into space "I must go!" She proceeded to run outside and hop into the Akio Car before driving away. Kanae simply shook her head and sighed "I guess the midlife crisis hit early."
Akio smirked to himself once more "Time for me to try and corrupt those new kids... eh heh heh..."
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Meanwhile Utena and Heather are trying to play tennis in the courtyard
"You know, now that you have that Rose Ring, you're a duelist, and you'll have to fight some of the other students." Heather frowned "Who?"
"Oh, you know... most of the kids tutoring your pals and me."
"Oh. Is that all?"
"Hey, if you win, you get the Rose Bride. Isn't that a great prize?"
Heather looked over towards the garden and her most unfortunate friends whom Anshi has dressed in a baby bonnet and wheeling around in a stroller. Heather only nodded "...Yeah. Greeeeeat."
"Hey, you don't know what the guys on this campus would give up to get that kind of treatment." Utena remarked defensivly "Oogah."
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Sarah tapped her foot impateiently waiting for Miki to wake up. "Man, where is he? Leave it to a guy to sleep in. I'll just go and bug him til he wakes up..." After another few minutes of waiting Sarah decides to wake him up herself. She felt her eyes about to bug out as she saw Miki and his SISTER Kozue sleeping in the piano with their arms thrown over eachother. "Gyaaaaahhhh!!!! That is SO wrong!!!" She said hysterically as Miki began to wake up "Wha?... Hmm... Huh?..." He noticed her glaring at him and looked around frantically "Oh, ummm... Kozue's afraid of the dark, and one thing lead to another, and, ahhhh..." Sarah smacked a hand to her forehead "Good grief."
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Heather frowned getting the details in order before she spoke. "So, let me get this straight: I'm going to have to fight the slaphappy green-haired guy, the eyelashless orange-haired chick, the eyelash-loaded, blue-haired guy, the white-haired snot, the redheaded womanizer AND you before I can get ahold of this "Rose Bride?""
Utena chuckled slightly "Well, when you put it that way it doesn't sound so glamorous, but you've got the idea." Heather frowned seeing no point to the entire thing "Couldn't I just pay for her?"
"What've you got?"
"I have an American Express card." She said pulling out a wallet Utena frowned and shook her head "Sorry. Akio won't accept anything but Visa, and he only rents her out anyway." heather snapped her fingers "Nuts."
It was highly unusual that Touga would walk into a room not accompanied by about teen throusand giggling school girls. But of couse he did "Ahem..." His did this apparently expecting something. Well none the less he got something. A five minute silence. "...Yeah?" Utena looked at him a little bored "......Line!"
A Gofer then popped up out of thin air and scribbles his lines on a cue card the began holding the cue card up. Heather and Utena sweatdropped in the background as he cleared his throat. "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!"
As he said this Akio, and his Car, a sleek looking red sportscar commonly known as 'The Akio Car'. Heather known for her bad luck is right in the cars path as Akio fails to apply the breaks fast enough and runs over Heather. He then put the car in PARK and looked back "Don't blame me. You had plenty of time to get out of the way." He remarked to Heather who pulled herself out from under the car "Don't worry about it. I've been run over by better cars than that anyway." Akio did his best to contain his rage and spoke through gritted teeth "What?"
Heather put a hand on the back of her head and laughed "Yeah, I was squished by some pretty cool cars before..."
*FLASHBACK*
Heather is seen walking down a street in Gotham City. She Pauses to cross a street to get to the bus stop "Let's see.. that pink-haired girl sleeping in the coffin said that I could catch the 26-B to Nutley right over here. I-" She heard a fierce roar and turned left just in time to see the Batmoblie flatten her. Just as this happens a bus going in the opposite direction runs over her to. She pulled herself to her feet and tried to regain her balance "Hey, that was the 26-B! DOGGONE IT!"
*FLASHBACK TWO*
Heather is now seen walking down the street in London. She frowns and scratches her head "I wonder where that kid that sold me the Princess Scout cookies went? I needed to tell her she gave me an extra box of Tugalongs, and-" She says this and the James Bond car comes screeching out from a corner just as one of it's on-board missles launched and blew poor Heather sky high. She lands just in time to be run over again. She forced herself to sit up "Errrrgh... Maybe Mr. Bond shouldn't drink and do it at the same time... I saw that lady's foot hit the missile launcher... ughhhh... Well, no use just sitting here. I have to-" She finds herself stopped in mid sentence as Mr. Bean's car runs over her and then proceeded to hit a three wheeled car.
(End Flashbacks)
Heather finished and eyed Akio "See?"
Akio crossed his arms pouting "Hmmmph. OK, you've got me on the Bond car, but even that couldn't take you to the world of your desires. Get in, kid."
Utena frowned "I would suggest that you don't go, Heather..."
Heather nodded glaring at Akio "I don't think I will. He IS a stranger, and you should never accept rides from strangers."
Akio smirked "Oh, come on! I have candy!" He said holding up a lollipop. HEathers eyes lit up "Sold!" She proceeded to hop in the back seat. Touga got into the front seat next to Akio and the car drove off "....(Grumble grumble obscenity grumble)"
While the car drove towards what the students had labeled as "The END of the World Heather eyed teh large array of buttons and special features in the back of the car as she licked her lollipop."Hmmm... Air conditioning, tape player, CD player, mini-TV, cigarette lighter... this place has the works!" Akio smirked "I know. I added most of them myself." Touga leaned over to whisper to the dean "What're you going to do with her, anyway?" Akio got that sadistic smile on his face "I'll drive her to my Florida house and seduce her."
Meanwhile in the backseat Heather was eyeing that big red buttong that said 'DO NOT PRESS'. IN a voice like DeeDee from dexters labratory she lifted her finger towards the button and asked "Hey, what does this button do?"
Akio's eyes widened in fear " No, wait! DON'T PRESS THAT-"
Of course Heather isn't going to listen is she? She proceeded to hit the button and herself and Touga are ejected from the car and proceeded to fly into the darkness. Akio looked slightly relieved "...Oh, that was the ejection seat, not the self-destruct! Whew... I've got to get warning labels for my little red buttons." He shrugged and continued to drive into the blackness "
Heather and Touga crash down facing each other, Heather dusted herself off as she got up and looked to Touga. Who was for one reason or another in a sort of glass case that was currently filling up with water. Heather looked highly amused "Hey, are you going to do that Houdini escape trick? I LOVE that one! Try to do it in under five minutes!
(Man, this kid's thicker than the width of my-) Touga throught to himself "Hey, I'm dead. I drowned a long time ago. Don't you see that, kid?"
Heather proceeded to look oblivious "No." Touga looked frustrated his red hair floating in the water "Oh, for crying out loud..." The water has filled up to the top and Touga proceeded to swim upwards and crawls out falling on top of Heather "URGGH You feel real enough." She remarked as he proceeded to get off of her "I know. It was just a symbolic gesture. Now, let's get out of here. You don't even want to begin to know what's out here." Just as he says this Water starts filling up the glass case that the two are in now "Son of a-"
"Relax. I have a plan." Heather remarked nocholantly.
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Meanwhile, Akio has driven back to Ohtori and is contemplating who to try to seduce next "That was fun. Let's see, who shall I seduce now?..." He then spotted Becky and Juri walking into the gym for fencing practce. He placed a hand on his chin in thought "Hmmm..."
The two were of course unaware of the deans precence as Juri spoke "Your form is improving, Becky. You'll be a fine duelist." Becky looked puzzled "What?"
Juri sweatdropped "Whoops! Did I make a little booboo? I meant 'fencer.'"
"You've sure been acting strange ever since I've showed up." Becky said raising an eyebrow "Ahhhh... It must be the temperature. I go crazy if the humidity goes up beyond 62 percent. I mean, it's not like I like you, or anything, and-URK! I mean, I don't think about you all the time, and- EEERRRGH!"
Becky sweatdropped at Juri's actions "Ah ha." Juri then proceeded to break down again "I can't help it! Ever since Shiori left me I've been SOOOO LONELYYYYYY!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAHHHH-HAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
(Here we go again)"There, there, Juri..." She proceeded to pat Juri on the back. Just sniffed "Would you pat a little lower?..."
Becky shrugged "Sure." She patted a little lower. Juri looked slightly happier "Oh, yeah. Oooh, that's the spot. (BURP)"
"I'm not doing it again."
Akio's car suddenly came crashing though the wall, not nearly as formal as he was with Heather "Get in. The world of your desires awaits."
Juri frowned at him "You know, the janitor's still angry about the last time you did that." Akio ignored the red head "Come along." he said throwing the blonde in the backseat "Well, it'll be a welcome change, considering that I've been listening to Juri blubbering for the past week."
Akio smirked "You will enjoy this world, I assure you."
Becky eyed the front seat. "Now, I know that I'm only 16, and I don't even have my learner's permit, but... can I drive?" Akio frowned "No."
"Pleeeeeeeeease?"
"No."
At this point the blonde haired teen had resorted to begging "Pretty pretty pretty pretty pleeeeeease?!"
Akio smirked "Will you service me sexually for it?"
"Sure!" He frowned once more
"No."
At this point Becky was practically leaning over the drivers seat "Awwww... Lemme just hold the steering wheel!" She leans forward putting her hands on the steering wheel. Akio was just about to have a cow "Get your hands off my car!" The car had begun to swerve all around "Wheeee! This is fun!" Becky had never been so happy Akio however was about to have a heart attack "Stop! STOP! If I don't take the right exit on the Purgatory Interstate, who knows where we'll turn up!!!"
"What?" She made the car do a hard right turn and they went crashing off into the darkness. The darkness fades and the car is orbiting around saturn. Akio gave Becky a death glare. The teen chuckled nervously "Eh heh heh... Oops?"
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Back in the Ohtori courtyard Utena is frowning worriedly "Heather's been gone a long time. I wonder if-"
As she says this a splash is heard as Heather and Touga crawl out of the fountain in full scuba gear "Having those scuba suits on you was a stroke of genius."
Heather gestured towards her pants pockets as she removed the scubba suit "Hey, it pays to have deep pockets."
Utena looked from one to another "You guys are OK?" Touga laughed "Akio would have seduced her if she hadn't pulled the ejection seat lever." He snickered "Man, you should have seen the look on that purple-haired freak's face when we went flying! It was a riot!!!"
Utena frowned "I've never heard of anyone escaping Akio's car before." She proceeded to get starry eyed "You MUST be my prince!"
Heather frowned looking both puzzled and annoyed "What is it with you and this whole 'Prince' thing anyway?"
Touga looked at his watch "Uh-oh! I have to go; Akio's scheduled to try to seduce the cat next. See you later!" He said taking off down the sidewalk "...Oh, well. Shall we get back to the tennis match?"
Utena sweatdropped and sighed heavily as the teen proceeded to walk off like none of this had ever happened.
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Danielle was not a happy camper when Touga arrived at Anshi's bridcage of a garden. She was still being pushed around in a baby carriage "I sure wish she'd do that to me." He sighed then looked around "...Where IS he?..."
Fifteen minutes and 99 death threats from Danielle to Anshi and Akio is nowhere in sight "Oh, hell. I'll just do my line now and he can crash later. Hey, cat! Yeah, you!" Danielle frowned "What? Sorry, It's hard to hear with this baby bonnet on!" Anshi smacked her on the top of her head "Be quiet, George! It's rude to interrupt someone when they talk to you!" Touga proceeded to speak "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" Touga seems shocked, Danielle is nearly hysteric and Anshi just stands looking stupid as Akio's car comes crashing through the wall. Suprisedly one time. Becky lets go of the wheel "Wow! What a rush! Danielle, you've GOT to try riding in here! It's so cool!!!"
Danielle frowned crossing her arms "I don't know, Becky. Must I repeat the story of the horrible trauma that man made me suffer?"
Akio smirked resting a hand on his chin "Do tell." Dnaielle hissed at him angrily. Becky smiled pulling Danielle towards the car throwing her in the back seat "Oh, come on! You two will be best friends in no time!"
Akio smirked slightly "Yes, best friends... of course..." He looked back to the red haired cat girl and licked his lips. Danielle wimpered as he started teh car and began to drive off Anshi waving as they left "Byyyyye! Take care of George, big brother!"
The car is speeding through the darkness yet again as Becky and Danielle are sitting in the backseat "You're going to love where we end up. It's a real scream. All your wildest dreams will be fulfilled."
Becky's eyes lit up "You mean I can finally swim in an ocean of spaghetti and ham without having to pay for it all and getting weird looks from the neighbors?"
Akio sweatdropped "Uh... yeah." Danielle looked out of the side of the car her face rather pale "Ohhhh... I don't feel so hot..."
Becky placed a hand on the girls head "Danielle, do you have a fever??" Danielle shook her head "It's all the stuff flyin' past... I can't keep up with it... I think I'm gonna- " She bent down till her head was touching the back of Akio's seat The scream was heard around the world "NOOOOOO!!!!"
Danielle raised up looking slightly relieved "AAAAACKTHPPPPH) Oh... I feel better now."
Akio stopped the car "OK, that's it! We're not going anywhere!"
Becky glared at the red head "Thanks a lot,Danielle! Now I'll never be able to do the spampaddle!"
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Meanwhile in the cafeteria Saionji and Josh ar cooking things on the stoves "Gee, Mr. Saionji, I've learned a lot from you in the past week. And this slap-proof helmet I made works like a dream!"
As if to prove it Saionji slaps Joshs head, the helmet then gave off an electric charge and shocked him "Aaagh! You get high marks for ingenuity." He remarked staring at his crispy hand "
Just as he said this Akio's car came crashing through the wall, Akio then hit the eject seat button and Becky and Danielle do flying out. The land in chairs meraculiosly unharmed "That was fun!"
Danielle frowned still looking sick "Gurrrrrgghhhh... I always get sick in moving vehicles that have been tainted with black magic..." Akio stood up and gestured to Josh "Come to a world of your strongest desires! Err... Get in the front seat, OK?"
Josh shrugged "All right." He does as he's told and Akio drives off. Touga comes in looking flustered "I'm here! I'm here! I... oh, NUTS! Is he gone already?! This is going to come out of my paycheck, I'm sure of it..."
Akio smirked as the drove along "I like you, Josh. You've clever and innovative. You could replace Saionji on the student council if you'd like." Josh frowned "Student council? Me? Well, I don't know..."
"Oh, come now. Think about it, my boy." He reach over to pat Josh on the head. Big mistake, Josh is still wearing the shock helmet Akio is electrocuted and passes out "...Whoops. Ah, well. I might as well drive." Josh pushed Akio into the back of the car and grabbed the wheel and put on the left turn signal.
An hour and twelve french fries later Miki and Sarah are in the music room playing the piano "Just relax your fingers and let them do the playing. Breathe in and out, in and out..."
Sarah looked to the blue haired teen "Are you a yoga teacher in your spare time?"
Miki shook his head "No, I just act like one."
Sarah frowned "So, ah, what was that whole, ah, thing, ah, with you and, ah, your sister, ah, in the piano?"
Miki frowned "Oh, that? I already told you. She's afraid of the dark."
Sarah shook her head "Riiiiight. Prove it."
"All right." Miki whistled "Kozue!"
Kozue appeared in the doorway "Yeah, Miki?"
"Go and lock yourself in the closet." He pointed to the nearby closet "OK!" She nodded and ran over to the closet going inside and closing the door. After about five seconds they was a sound of mass hysteria emerging from it "Let me out! LET ME OUT! AAAAHHHH!!! THE CLOWN... HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!! AAAAHHHH!!! THE ALIENS ARE GONNA PROBE ME!!! AHHHHH!!! Hey, Jimmy Hoffa's in here!"
Touga suddenly runs into the room out of breath and sweaty. He raised a hand "Nobody's going to stop me from saying my lines this time! Ahem... Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" ON cue Akio's car crashes into the wall, it hits the piano which flies backwards and hits the closet door. Kozue poked her head out, "I'm free!"
Miki looked angry "Akio, I've told you a million times not to hit the piano!"
Much to everyones suprise it was not Akio but Josh whom emerged from the car "Sorry." He said as the three in room did a group "HUH?!"
Josh is sitting in the drivers sear of the Akio car, he holds a paper sack in one hand and there's a soda can in the cup holder "Akio short-circuted himself, so I drove. I just stopped at Burger King. Akio wasn't hungry, so only I ate. Hey, who wants an extra Big Mac?"
Kozue raised her hand bouncing slightly "Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" Josh tossed the food to Kozue who wolfs it down "Thank you! Ooh, I'm gonna shave your eyebrows GOOD tonight!"
Josh looked puzzled "...Eh?" A groan is hear as Akio climbed out of the back seat with flecks of....something...coating parts of his face "Errrrrgh... These kids are nuts... You, lifeguard girl! Get over here!"
Sarah shook her head "No way. I know where that car goes." She said crossing her arms. Touga frowned "Just go." He said as he stuck
Saarah in the back seat. "Hey, I said I didn't wanna get in! Ewww, someone threw up back here, and someone else stepped in it!"
Akio frowned "Well, not "stepped" exactly... Come along, we're going for a ride." Sarah got that look of rebelion in her eyes "I don't think so!" She said pulling out a swiss army knife and plunging it into the rear right tire, she then hops over the regergitation and knifes the rear left tire. Akio has a look of distress on his face "HEY!!! What're you doing?!"
"You would not believe the symbolism in doing this." She said to no one as Akio fumed with rage "Why you little... Well, we can still drive, even with two flat-" He then got a look at the fuel gage which boldly stated EMPTY. "AAAAHHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS?! It's ALWAYS FULL!!! WHERE'S MY GAS?!" What he didn't know was there was a large pipe connected to the bottom of the car which connected with the other pipes that lead down into the cafeteria, where Saionji is filling up oil drums "There we go. Fifty gallons of pure petrolium I can cook with. Thank you, Mr. Satan." He said saluting up at the ceiling towards Akio.
Back in the music room Akio is still furious "ARRRRGH! That does it!!! You're in for it now, kid!" He was now somehow holding a bag of gummi bears he pulled out from somewhere. Sarah looked a little
frightened "Oh, no!!!"
She tried to run but Akio leaps on her and begins to stuff gummi bears into her mouth by the handfuls "Take THAT! And THAT! And THAT!"
"MMMMRRRRRRFFFF"
Kozue frowned "Should we... help her?"
Josh continued staring on "Don't worry; it looks like she's about to help herself." Akio is still stuffing gummi bears into Sarah's mouth, until there are so many cramped into such a small spot that one pops back out and flies into Akio mouth "GRAAAAGGGHHHHH!!! I'm gummi-intolerant! BLAAAUUUCHHHHH!!! I've gotta find an easier kid to seduce! Ohhh, I'm gonna be sick..." He said as he got into his car and drove away. "Ack! GHAAACK." Kozue looked slightly panicked "Oh, no! She's choking on the gummi bears!"
"Someone do a heimlich maneuver!" Josh suggested. Touga frowned "It won't work. There's too many gummis and they've already begun to fuse together."
Miki raised a hand "I know what this calls for." He said justly as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number "Hello? Yeah, it's Miki. Lissen, are they still chasing you? Good. Listen, I want you to run through this room... OK? Good." He said hanging up then looking back to the rest of them "Help is on the way."
Everyone watches as Sailor Mercury comes charging through the room, followed by three huge sumo wrestlers. Before they pursue her out the window, they all body-slam Sarah. On the third slam, the huge ball of gummi bears goes flying out of her mouth and sticks to the ceiling. Sarah breathed a sight of relief "Whew... Thanks, Miki!"
Miki blushed "You're welcome." And Kozue pouted "Hmmph. Traitor."
Miki frowned at his siter "Don't start THAT again!"
Becky frowned "Guys, that gummi bear ball is looking like it's gonna fall..." SHe pointed out just as Anshi came charging into the room "George! Are you OK?" As if this wasn't either his own or Danielle's day Mikage leapt out from ubehind a curtain laughing maniaclly "Ah ha ha ha! Die, Anshi! DIE-"
The gummi bear ball falls and bops him on the head, knocking him out and sending him crashing to the floor. Touga pointed and laughed at the poor pink haired black rose duelist imatating Nelson laugh "Ha-hah!"
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Meanwhile Nanami and the Easter Island Boy are trying to work in the theater "Come on! Don't just sit there like a rock! Say your lines! Repeat after me: "Hark! Through what light doth yonder window breaks?"
The Akio car came crashing through knocking down the scenery. Nanami smacked her forehead "Hey, Stonehenge kid! Get in the backseat." he ordered, Easter Island boy walked over and got in the car. The Front of the car lifted up and the wheels spin helplessly in the air. Akio looked frustrated and started to break down "Why me?... WHY ME?..."
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CHAPTER 4
THE AKIO CAR CHAPTER
A few days pass with typical abnormal activity that wasn't weird enough to write about. On the sixth day of the first week...
Akio smirked to himself as he sat down in his chair next to Kanae "The time has come." Kanae looked up from her book slightly confused "What're you talking about?" Akio jumped up pointing a finger into space "I must go!" She proceeded to run outside and hop into the Akio Car before driving away. Kanae simply shook her head and sighed "I guess the midlife crisis hit early."
Akio smirked to himself once more "Time for me to try and corrupt those new kids... eh heh heh..."
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Meanwhile Utena and Heather are trying to play tennis in the courtyard
"You know, now that you have that Rose Ring, you're a duelist, and you'll have to fight some of the other students." Heather frowned "Who?"
"Oh, you know... most of the kids tutoring your pals and me."
"Oh. Is that all?"
"Hey, if you win, you get the Rose Bride. Isn't that a great prize?"
Heather looked over towards the garden and her most unfortunate friends whom Anshi has dressed in a baby bonnet and wheeling around in a stroller. Heather only nodded "...Yeah. Greeeeeat."
"Hey, you don't know what the guys on this campus would give up to get that kind of treatment." Utena remarked defensivly "Oogah."
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Sarah tapped her foot impateiently waiting for Miki to wake up. "Man, where is he? Leave it to a guy to sleep in. I'll just go and bug him til he wakes up..." After another few minutes of waiting Sarah decides to wake him up herself. She felt her eyes about to bug out as she saw Miki and his SISTER Kozue sleeping in the piano with their arms thrown over eachother. "Gyaaaaahhhh!!!! That is SO wrong!!!" She said hysterically as Miki began to wake up "Wha?... Hmm... Huh?..." He noticed her glaring at him and looked around frantically "Oh, ummm... Kozue's afraid of the dark, and one thing lead to another, and, ahhhh..." Sarah smacked a hand to her forehead "Good grief."
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Heather frowned getting the details in order before she spoke. "So, let me get this straight: I'm going to have to fight the slaphappy green-haired guy, the eyelashless orange-haired chick, the eyelash-loaded, blue-haired guy, the white-haired snot, the redheaded womanizer AND you before I can get ahold of this "Rose Bride?""
Utena chuckled slightly "Well, when you put it that way it doesn't sound so glamorous, but you've got the idea." Heather frowned seeing no point to the entire thing "Couldn't I just pay for her?"
"What've you got?"
"I have an American Express card." She said pulling out a wallet Utena frowned and shook her head "Sorry. Akio won't accept anything but Visa, and he only rents her out anyway." heather snapped her fingers "Nuts."
It was highly unusual that Touga would walk into a room not accompanied by about teen throusand giggling school girls. But of couse he did "Ahem..." His did this apparently expecting something. Well none the less he got something. A five minute silence. "...Yeah?" Utena looked at him a little bored "......Line!"
A Gofer then popped up out of thin air and scribbles his lines on a cue card the began holding the cue card up. Heather and Utena sweatdropped in the background as he cleared his throat. "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!"
As he said this Akio, and his Car, a sleek looking red sportscar commonly known as 'The Akio Car'. Heather known for her bad luck is right in the cars path as Akio fails to apply the breaks fast enough and runs over Heather. He then put the car in PARK and looked back "Don't blame me. You had plenty of time to get out of the way." He remarked to Heather who pulled herself out from under the car "Don't worry about it. I've been run over by better cars than that anyway." Akio did his best to contain his rage and spoke through gritted teeth "What?"
Heather put a hand on the back of her head and laughed "Yeah, I was squished by some pretty cool cars before..."
*FLASHBACK*
Heather is seen walking down a street in Gotham City. She Pauses to cross a street to get to the bus stop "Let's see.. that pink-haired girl sleeping in the coffin said that I could catch the 26-B to Nutley right over here. I-" She heard a fierce roar and turned left just in time to see the Batmoblie flatten her. Just as this happens a bus going in the opposite direction runs over her to. She pulled herself to her feet and tried to regain her balance "Hey, that was the 26-B! DOGGONE IT!"
*FLASHBACK TWO*
Heather is now seen walking down the street in London. She frowns and scratches her head "I wonder where that kid that sold me the Princess Scout cookies went? I needed to tell her she gave me an extra box of Tugalongs, and-" She says this and the James Bond car comes screeching out from a corner just as one of it's on-board missles launched and blew poor Heather sky high. She lands just in time to be run over again. She forced herself to sit up "Errrrgh... Maybe Mr. Bond shouldn't drink and do it at the same time... I saw that lady's foot hit the missile launcher... ughhhh... Well, no use just sitting here. I have to-" She finds herself stopped in mid sentence as Mr. Bean's car runs over her and then proceeded to hit a three wheeled car.
(End Flashbacks)
Heather finished and eyed Akio "See?"
Akio crossed his arms pouting "Hmmmph. OK, you've got me on the Bond car, but even that couldn't take you to the world of your desires. Get in, kid."
Utena frowned "I would suggest that you don't go, Heather..."
Heather nodded glaring at Akio "I don't think I will. He IS a stranger, and you should never accept rides from strangers."
Akio smirked "Oh, come on! I have candy!" He said holding up a lollipop. HEathers eyes lit up "Sold!" She proceeded to hop in the back seat. Touga got into the front seat next to Akio and the car drove off "....(Grumble grumble obscenity grumble)"
While the car drove towards what the students had labeled as "The END of the World Heather eyed teh large array of buttons and special features in the back of the car as she licked her lollipop."Hmmm... Air conditioning, tape player, CD player, mini-TV, cigarette lighter... this place has the works!" Akio smirked "I know. I added most of them myself." Touga leaned over to whisper to the dean "What're you going to do with her, anyway?" Akio got that sadistic smile on his face "I'll drive her to my Florida house and seduce her."
Meanwhile in the backseat Heather was eyeing that big red buttong that said 'DO NOT PRESS'. IN a voice like DeeDee from dexters labratory she lifted her finger towards the button and asked "Hey, what does this button do?"
Akio's eyes widened in fear " No, wait! DON'T PRESS THAT-"
Of course Heather isn't going to listen is she? She proceeded to hit the button and herself and Touga are ejected from the car and proceeded to fly into the darkness. Akio looked slightly relieved "...Oh, that was the ejection seat, not the self-destruct! Whew... I've got to get warning labels for my little red buttons." He shrugged and continued to drive into the blackness "
Heather and Touga crash down facing each other, Heather dusted herself off as she got up and looked to Touga. Who was for one reason or another in a sort of glass case that was currently filling up with water. Heather looked highly amused "Hey, are you going to do that Houdini escape trick? I LOVE that one! Try to do it in under five minutes!
(Man, this kid's thicker than the width of my-) Touga throught to himself "Hey, I'm dead. I drowned a long time ago. Don't you see that, kid?"
Heather proceeded to look oblivious "No." Touga looked frustrated his red hair floating in the water "Oh, for crying out loud..." The water has filled up to the top and Touga proceeded to swim upwards and crawls out falling on top of Heather "URGGH You feel real enough." She remarked as he proceeded to get off of her "I know. It was just a symbolic gesture. Now, let's get out of here. You don't even want to begin to know what's out here." Just as he says this Water starts filling up the glass case that the two are in now "Son of a-"
"Relax. I have a plan." Heather remarked nocholantly.
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Meanwhile, Akio has driven back to Ohtori and is contemplating who to try to seduce next "That was fun. Let's see, who shall I seduce now?..." He then spotted Becky and Juri walking into the gym for fencing practce. He placed a hand on his chin in thought "Hmmm..."
The two were of course unaware of the deans precence as Juri spoke "Your form is improving, Becky. You'll be a fine duelist." Becky looked puzzled "What?"
Juri sweatdropped "Whoops! Did I make a little booboo? I meant 'fencer.'"
"You've sure been acting strange ever since I've showed up." Becky said raising an eyebrow "Ahhhh... It must be the temperature. I go crazy if the humidity goes up beyond 62 percent. I mean, it's not like I like you, or anything, and-URK! I mean, I don't think about you all the time, and- EEERRRGH!"
Becky sweatdropped at Juri's actions "Ah ha." Juri then proceeded to break down again "I can't help it! Ever since Shiori left me I've been SOOOO LONELYYYYYY!!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAHHHH-HAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
(Here we go again)"There, there, Juri..." She proceeded to pat Juri on the back. Just sniffed "Would you pat a little lower?..."
Becky shrugged "Sure." She patted a little lower. Juri looked slightly happier "Oh, yeah. Oooh, that's the spot. (BURP)"
"I'm not doing it again."
Akio's car suddenly came crashing though the wall, not nearly as formal as he was with Heather "Get in. The world of your desires awaits."
Juri frowned at him "You know, the janitor's still angry about the last time you did that." Akio ignored the red head "Come along." he said throwing the blonde in the backseat "Well, it'll be a welcome change, considering that I've been listening to Juri blubbering for the past week."
Akio smirked "You will enjoy this world, I assure you."
Becky eyed the front seat. "Now, I know that I'm only 16, and I don't even have my learner's permit, but... can I drive?" Akio frowned "No."
"Pleeeeeeeeease?"
"No."
At this point the blonde haired teen had resorted to begging "Pretty pretty pretty pretty pleeeeeease?!"
Akio smirked "Will you service me sexually for it?"
"Sure!" He frowned once more
"No."
At this point Becky was practically leaning over the drivers seat "Awwww... Lemme just hold the steering wheel!" She leans forward putting her hands on the steering wheel. Akio was just about to have a cow "Get your hands off my car!" The car had begun to swerve all around "Wheeee! This is fun!" Becky had never been so happy Akio however was about to have a heart attack "Stop! STOP! If I don't take the right exit on the Purgatory Interstate, who knows where we'll turn up!!!"
"What?" She made the car do a hard right turn and they went crashing off into the darkness. The darkness fades and the car is orbiting around saturn. Akio gave Becky a death glare. The teen chuckled nervously "Eh heh heh... Oops?"
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Back in the Ohtori courtyard Utena is frowning worriedly "Heather's been gone a long time. I wonder if-"
As she says this a splash is heard as Heather and Touga crawl out of the fountain in full scuba gear "Having those scuba suits on you was a stroke of genius."
Heather gestured towards her pants pockets as she removed the scubba suit "Hey, it pays to have deep pockets."
Utena looked from one to another "You guys are OK?" Touga laughed "Akio would have seduced her if she hadn't pulled the ejection seat lever." He snickered "Man, you should have seen the look on that purple-haired freak's face when we went flying! It was a riot!!!"
Utena frowned "I've never heard of anyone escaping Akio's car before." She proceeded to get starry eyed "You MUST be my prince!"
Heather frowned looking both puzzled and annoyed "What is it with you and this whole 'Prince' thing anyway?"
Touga looked at his watch "Uh-oh! I have to go; Akio's scheduled to try to seduce the cat next. See you later!" He said taking off down the sidewalk "...Oh, well. Shall we get back to the tennis match?"
Utena sweatdropped and sighed heavily as the teen proceeded to walk off like none of this had ever happened.
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Danielle was not a happy camper when Touga arrived at Anshi's bridcage of a garden. She was still being pushed around in a baby carriage "I sure wish she'd do that to me." He sighed then looked around "...Where IS he?..."
Fifteen minutes and 99 death threats from Danielle to Anshi and Akio is nowhere in sight "Oh, hell. I'll just do my line now and he can crash later. Hey, cat! Yeah, you!" Danielle frowned "What? Sorry, It's hard to hear with this baby bonnet on!" Anshi smacked her on the top of her head "Be quiet, George! It's rude to interrupt someone when they talk to you!" Touga proceeded to speak "Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" Touga seems shocked, Danielle is nearly hysteric and Anshi just stands looking stupid as Akio's car comes crashing through the wall. Suprisedly one time. Becky lets go of the wheel "Wow! What a rush! Danielle, you've GOT to try riding in here! It's so cool!!!"
Danielle frowned crossing her arms "I don't know, Becky. Must I repeat the story of the horrible trauma that man made me suffer?"
Akio smirked resting a hand on his chin "Do tell." Dnaielle hissed at him angrily. Becky smiled pulling Danielle towards the car throwing her in the back seat "Oh, come on! You two will be best friends in no time!"
Akio smirked slightly "Yes, best friends... of course..." He looked back to the red haired cat girl and licked his lips. Danielle wimpered as he started teh car and began to drive off Anshi waving as they left "Byyyyye! Take care of George, big brother!"
The car is speeding through the darkness yet again as Becky and Danielle are sitting in the backseat "You're going to love where we end up. It's a real scream. All your wildest dreams will be fulfilled."
Becky's eyes lit up "You mean I can finally swim in an ocean of spaghetti and ham without having to pay for it all and getting weird looks from the neighbors?"
Akio sweatdropped "Uh... yeah." Danielle looked out of the side of the car her face rather pale "Ohhhh... I don't feel so hot..."
Becky placed a hand on the girls head "Danielle, do you have a fever??" Danielle shook her head "It's all the stuff flyin' past... I can't keep up with it... I think I'm gonna- " She bent down till her head was touching the back of Akio's seat The scream was heard around the world "NOOOOOO!!!!"
Danielle raised up looking slightly relieved "AAAAACKTHPPPPH) Oh... I feel better now."
Akio stopped the car "OK, that's it! We're not going anywhere!"
Becky glared at the red head "Thanks a lot,Danielle! Now I'll never be able to do the spampaddle!"
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Meanwhile in the cafeteria Saionji and Josh ar cooking things on the stoves "Gee, Mr. Saionji, I've learned a lot from you in the past week. And this slap-proof helmet I made works like a dream!"
As if to prove it Saionji slaps Joshs head, the helmet then gave off an electric charge and shocked him "Aaagh! You get high marks for ingenuity." He remarked staring at his crispy hand "
Just as he said this Akio's car came crashing through the wall, Akio then hit the eject seat button and Becky and Danielle do flying out. The land in chairs meraculiosly unharmed "That was fun!"
Danielle frowned still looking sick "Gurrrrrgghhhh... I always get sick in moving vehicles that have been tainted with black magic..." Akio stood up and gestured to Josh "Come to a world of your strongest desires! Err... Get in the front seat, OK?"
Josh shrugged "All right." He does as he's told and Akio drives off. Touga comes in looking flustered "I'm here! I'm here! I... oh, NUTS! Is he gone already?! This is going to come out of my paycheck, I'm sure of it..."
Akio smirked as the drove along "I like you, Josh. You've clever and innovative. You could replace Saionji on the student council if you'd like." Josh frowned "Student council? Me? Well, I don't know..."
"Oh, come now. Think about it, my boy." He reach over to pat Josh on the head. Big mistake, Josh is still wearing the shock helmet Akio is electrocuted and passes out "...Whoops. Ah, well. I might as well drive." Josh pushed Akio into the back of the car and grabbed the wheel and put on the left turn signal.
An hour and twelve french fries later Miki and Sarah are in the music room playing the piano "Just relax your fingers and let them do the playing. Breathe in and out, in and out..."
Sarah looked to the blue haired teen "Are you a yoga teacher in your spare time?"
Miki shook his head "No, I just act like one."
Sarah frowned "So, ah, what was that whole, ah, thing, ah, with you and, ah, your sister, ah, in the piano?"
Miki frowned "Oh, that? I already told you. She's afraid of the dark."
Sarah shook her head "Riiiiight. Prove it."
"All right." Miki whistled "Kozue!"
Kozue appeared in the doorway "Yeah, Miki?"
"Go and lock yourself in the closet." He pointed to the nearby closet "OK!" She nodded and ran over to the closet going inside and closing the door. After about five seconds they was a sound of mass hysteria emerging from it "Let me out! LET ME OUT! AAAAHHHH!!! THE CLOWN... HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!! AAAAHHHH!!! THE ALIENS ARE GONNA PROBE ME!!! AHHHHH!!! Hey, Jimmy Hoffa's in here!"
Touga suddenly runs into the room out of breath and sweaty. He raised a hand "Nobody's going to stop me from saying my lines this time! Ahem... Prepare to be taken to the place where all your wishes are granted!" ON cue Akio's car crashes into the wall, it hits the piano which flies backwards and hits the closet door. Kozue poked her head out, "I'm free!"
Miki looked angry "Akio, I've told you a million times not to hit the piano!"
Much to everyones suprise it was not Akio but Josh whom emerged from the car "Sorry." He said as the three in room did a group "HUH?!"
Josh is sitting in the drivers sear of the Akio car, he holds a paper sack in one hand and there's a soda can in the cup holder "Akio short-circuted himself, so I drove. I just stopped at Burger King. Akio wasn't hungry, so only I ate. Hey, who wants an extra Big Mac?"
Kozue raised her hand bouncing slightly "Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" Josh tossed the food to Kozue who wolfs it down "Thank you! Ooh, I'm gonna shave your eyebrows GOOD tonight!"
Josh looked puzzled "...Eh?" A groan is hear as Akio climbed out of the back seat with flecks of....something...coating parts of his face "Errrrrgh... These kids are nuts... You, lifeguard girl! Get over here!"
Sarah shook her head "No way. I know where that car goes." She said crossing her arms. Touga frowned "Just go." He said as he stuck
Saarah in the back seat. "Hey, I said I didn't wanna get in! Ewww, someone threw up back here, and someone else stepped in it!"
Akio frowned "Well, not "stepped" exactly... Come along, we're going for a ride." Sarah got that look of rebelion in her eyes "I don't think so!" She said pulling out a swiss army knife and plunging it into the rear right tire, she then hops over the regergitation and knifes the rear left tire. Akio has a look of distress on his face "HEY!!! What're you doing?!"
"You would not believe the symbolism in doing this." She said to no one as Akio fumed with rage "Why you little... Well, we can still drive, even with two flat-" He then got a look at the fuel gage which boldly stated EMPTY. "AAAAHHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS?! It's ALWAYS FULL!!! WHERE'S MY GAS?!" What he didn't know was there was a large pipe connected to the bottom of the car which connected with the other pipes that lead down into the cafeteria, where Saionji is filling up oil drums "There we go. Fifty gallons of pure petrolium I can cook with. Thank you, Mr. Satan." He said saluting up at the ceiling towards Akio.
Back in the music room Akio is still furious "ARRRRGH! That does it!!! You're in for it now, kid!" He was now somehow holding a bag of gummi bears he pulled out from somewhere. Sarah looked a little
frightened "Oh, no!!!"
She tried to run but Akio leaps on her and begins to stuff gummi bears into her mouth by the handfuls "Take THAT! And THAT! And THAT!"
"MMMMRRRRRRFFFF"
Kozue frowned "Should we... help her?"
Josh continued staring on "Don't worry; it looks like she's about to help herself." Akio is still stuffing gummi bears into Sarah's mouth, until there are so many cramped into such a small spot that one pops back out and flies into Akio mouth "GRAAAAGGGHHHHH!!! I'm gummi-intolerant! BLAAAUUUCHHHHH!!! I've gotta find an easier kid to seduce! Ohhh, I'm gonna be sick..." He said as he got into his car and drove away. "Ack! GHAAACK." Kozue looked slightly panicked "Oh, no! She's choking on the gummi bears!"
"Someone do a heimlich maneuver!" Josh suggested. Touga frowned "It won't work. There's too many gummis and they've already begun to fuse together."
Miki raised a hand "I know what this calls for." He said justly as he pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number "Hello? Yeah, it's Miki. Lissen, are they still chasing you? Good. Listen, I want you to run through this room... OK? Good." He said hanging up then looking back to the rest of them "Help is on the way."
Everyone watches as Sailor Mercury comes charging through the room, followed by three huge sumo wrestlers. Before they pursue her out the window, they all body-slam Sarah. On the third slam, the huge ball of gummi bears goes flying out of her mouth and sticks to the ceiling. Sarah breathed a sight of relief "Whew... Thanks, Miki!"
Miki blushed "You're welcome." And Kozue pouted "Hmmph. Traitor."
Miki frowned at his siter "Don't start THAT again!"
Becky frowned "Guys, that gummi bear ball is looking like it's gonna fall..." SHe pointed out just as Anshi came charging into the room "George! Are you OK?" As if this wasn't either his own or Danielle's day Mikage leapt out from ubehind a curtain laughing maniaclly "Ah ha ha ha! Die, Anshi! DIE-"
The gummi bear ball falls and bops him on the head, knocking him out and sending him crashing to the floor. Touga pointed and laughed at the poor pink haired black rose duelist imatating Nelson laugh "Ha-hah!"
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Meanwhile Nanami and the Easter Island Boy are trying to work in the theater "Come on! Don't just sit there like a rock! Say your lines! Repeat after me: "Hark! Through what light doth yonder window breaks?"
The Akio car came crashing through knocking down the scenery. Nanami smacked her forehead "Hey, Stonehenge kid! Get in the backseat." he ordered, Easter Island boy walked over and got in the car. The Front of the car lifted up and the wheels spin helplessly in the air. Akio looked frustrated and started to break down "Why me?... WHY ME?..."
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