Disclaimer: Characters owned by Nintendo. Lucky Bastards...
Field Day
By Li Kenta
Chapter 5
Li: Hi, guys.
Link: Hey, Li. Who's that?
(Link points to a squirming two-year-old in Li's arms.)
Li: Oh, this is my baby cousin Micheal.
Zelda: Oh he's so cute.
(Zelda takes the baby from Li's hands into hers and tickles the little guy. Micheal laughs happily apparently taking a
liking to the hylian princess.)
Saria: Can I play with him?
(Zelda reluncantly handed Saria the baby, the kokiri begins playing with the little guy.)
Li: Seeing as how you like the him, can I ask a favor?
Ganondorf: Hmm, what is it?
Li: Could you baby-sit him, you see I'm going somewhere and it's to dangerous for him.
Link: Okay, no problem.
Li: Oh, and if he becomes to much of a problem just take him to Malon, she'll know what to do.
Ganondorf: *crotching* How can this pathetic little thing be a problem?
(Micheal looks at the evil Gerudo for a while, then takes out his favorite toy, a wooden hammer.)
Ganondorf: Ahh, you gonna hit me with that pathetic ascuse for a weapon?
(Immediatly after Ganondorf finished his question, the toddler smashed the hammer against the wizaeds nose.)
Link: Li, I really like your cousin.
Ruto: *grabs Mike* Yeah, he's so cute.
(Mike looks at her for a while before crying loudly.)
Zelda: *takes Mike, he stops crying* What did you do to him?
Ruto: Nothing, I just grab him like this.
(Ruto grabs the baby agian, and like before he crys.)
Zelda: *takes Mike* Seems like he doesn't like you.
Ruto: Yeah, right.
(Again dhe attempts to take him, this time before he could reach him he let out a small yelp.)
Li: Thanks, you guys are a big help.
Zelda: Actually, I have some diplomatic issues I need to attend to.
Saria: I have to check on the forest.
Nabooru: Some men were captured spying on the fortress, I need to decide their...punishment.
Impa: I must go with princess.
Rauru: The Light temple needs to be cleaned.
(Li looks at the four remaining, Link, Ganondorf, Ruto and Darunia.)
Li: First off, Darunia your not going to baby-sit him.
Darunia: Why?
Li: First, I saw you give that "friendly" pat to Link, second you'd probably mistake baby-sitting as actually sitting on
the kid.
Link: Yeah it's true.
Ruto: You do kind have a habit of doing that.
Darunia: Fine, I'll go but hear this Li, I'll be back and when I am you will go through tremendous amounts of pain!
Li: *picking food out his teeth* What? I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention.
Darunia: Damn you.
(Darunia walks toward Death Mountain.)
Li: Okay, thanks guys, *hands Mike to Link and leaves*
(Li begins to walk away and before he's out of hearing range, yells.)
Li: Remeber, if he becomes a problem take him to Malon!!
Ganondorf: How can this Imp be a problem?
Link: He could wack you in the nose again with his hammer.
Ganondorf: He got lucky.
Link: Well kid, let me give you a brief rundown of Hyrule.
(He takes the toddler on his shoulder.)
Link: Over their is Hyrule castle too it's left is Kakoriko Village and Death Mountain. Behind us is Lake Hylia, to our
left is Lon Lon Ranch, and in the west is Gerudo Fortress. To our right is the river that leads to Zora's Domain.
Ganondorf: I don't know why you tell him this, he's an idiot and doesn't understand a word you say.
(Without warning a small wooden hammer nailed Ganondorf right between the eyes, causing him to fall into the river.
Ruto: I think he understood that.
Link: Huh? What's that sign say?
(Link and Ruto head towards the sign, while a large group a Octorok surrond Ganondorf.)
Ganondorf: Uh...guys?
Link: 'Warning do not enter water, Otorock mating season'?
Ganondorf: They...look pissed...
Ruto: Of course, during Otorock mating season, going into this river is suicide.
Link: Why?
Ruto: The males shoot rocks none stop until the invader is either dead or leaves.
(At those words the Otorocks launched rocks out of their mouthes, each one nailing Ganondorf.)
Ruto: Should we help him?
Link: *restraining laughter* Give it a few minutes,
(They continued to watch Ganondorf get the shit beat out of him. Eventually a tooth flies from Ganondorf's mouth.)
Link: I think now is a good time to help him.
(They drag Ganondorf unconsious carcass from the river.)
Ruto: *slaping him* Wake up!"
(They continue to try waking him up. Mike suddenly jumps from Links hands and lands on the gerudo's stomch, which, in
turn causes him him to spit a stream of water right in Links face.)
Ganondorf: *cough, cough*
Ruto: Are you okay?
Ganondorf: *in a daze* Night, mommy...
Link: I really like this kid.
(Ruto smacks Ganondorf getting him out of his hallucinating state. At the same time Mike starts crying uncontrolably.)
Ruto: Why's he crying? I didn't touch him.
Ganondorf: Turn it off!
Link: I think this is a good time to take him to Malon.
(After a few minutes of walking with bawling two-year-old, they reach Lon Lon Ranch.)
Link: Malon!!
Malon: *appears from behind the stables* What? huh, oh Micheal.
(Malon takes Mike from Link's arms and at that preciswe moment he stops crying.)
Link: Looks like Li isn't the only one in the Kenta family that likes red-heads.
Malon: Micheals just a bit hungry, I'll get him some milk.
Link: I could use some.
(The trio enter Malon's house, leaving Ganondorf and Ruto by themselves.)
Ruto: So...
Ganondorf: *snicker*.
Ruto: What's so funny?
Ganondorf: That cuccos has taken a liking to your leg.
(Ruto looks down to see indeed a cuccos cuddling next to her leg.)
Ruto: Hey!! Buzz off!!
Ganondorf: Doesn't look like he's listening.
(Ruto walks away from the would-be poultry, hoping it would give it the rooster the idea to leave her alone. Instead
the bird continued to follow her, while Ganondorf sat in the shadows, curious to see what would happen.)
In Malon's house...
Link: You sure know how to handle the little guy.
Malon: Yeah, well, he's been here before.
Link: Really, how?
Malon: Li, comes here all the time when not in his fanfic.
Link: Oh...
Outside...
Ruto: I told you leave me alone. *kicks the rooster*
(At that exact moment every animal went silent, Ruto looked around to see cuccos every where, in front of her, behind, on
the roof and fences. Finally she saw the rooster she kicked looking pissed.)
Ruto: Uhhh...
Rooster: PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!
(At the mighty call every cuccos in the ranch attack Ruto.)
Back at the house...
Link: Huh? Ganodorf, where the hell's Ruto?
(Ganondorf looks through the window, and saw Ruto running from the ranch, with a fleet of cuccos chasing and pecking
her.)
Ganondorf:...She had to leave suddenly.
Link: Oh, okay.
Malon: OH, NO!!!!!!!!!!
(The two men cringed at the sound of Malon's screech, and saw her running down the stairs.)
Meanwhile with Ruto...
Ruto: Get off. *throws cuccos off her*
(Ruto continues running until she reaches Zora's river, getting the idea that she is safe she jumps in. Immediatly the
flock of birds stop in their tracks and back of.)
Ruto: What? *throws water* afraid of a little...
(Without warning a group of Octoroks surrond her.)
Ruto: Crap...
(In perfect unison the group of males shot rocks at her.)
Back at Malon's...
Malon: Micheals, missing!!
Link: Oh shit, if Li finds out he'll kill us or least add more chapters.
Reader: Yes!!
Ganondorf: Oh, shut up!
Link: Where did you see him last?
Malon: I was putting him down for a nap and I opened a window so it...that's it!!!
(The trio runs up the stares to the bedroom, only to see the window gutters fluttering. The immediatly looked through it,
and indeed the find Micheal walking on the roof.)
Malon: Ganondorf go get him!!
Ganondorf: What makes you think I'll...
Malon: NOW!!!!!
Ganondorf: Yes, Ma'am.
(The gerudo king steps on the roof and begins following Micheal.)
Ganondorf: Okay runt, come here.
(Mike looks at Ganondorf for a while before throwing his hammer at him. Again the the hammer met with a portion of his
face, this time his jaw.)
Ganondorf: That's it! *dives for Micheal*
(The little guy merely sat down, causing Ganondorf to miss him completly.)
Ganondorf: Damn, missd...
*CRASH*
(Ganondorf head ramed right through the wall of the stables.)
Malon: Oooo...
Link: That would hurt him.
(That situation sudenly turned bad as Mike jumped off the side of the roof.)
Malon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Oh no.
(Link goes to the side of the roof and see's...Mike happily bouncing in a pile of hay.)
Link: He's okay!
Malon: Thank, Farore! I'll be right down.
Link: *jumps down* Okay Mike let's go.
(Toddler just ran towards the horse's.)
Link: No, come back!
(Mike goes behind a horse, wanting to play with it's tail.)
Link: Come here.
(Link reaches for Mike only to accidently touch the hores rump. The horse, feeling his personal space was beyond violated,
gave Link a solid kick with his back legs.)
Link: *clutching head and chest* Pain...
Malon: There you are.
(Malon picks up the happy toddler and cradles him in her arms.)
Malon: Don't you ever scare me like that again.
Li: Hey guys, you here!?
Malon: Li!
(Malom quickly ran to the entrance of her ranch and saw Li, draging Ruto unconsious carcass and being followed by an army
cuccos.)
Li: Don't ask.
(Link and Ganondorf appear behind him, looking beyond pissed.)
Li: I see the little guy gave you a bit of trouble.
Malon: He wasn't any trouble at all.
Ganondorf: Yeah, he was a curse!
(For the fourth time that day Mike's hammer met a portion of Ganondorf's face, this time his left eye.)
Link: I don't care what anybody says, this kid's great.
Ruto: Eggs are funny. *collapse*
Li: Well, I have to go, Mike's got to be at home by five or my aunt's going to have my head.
Malon: I'll help you out.
(The pair leave with Mike.)
Link: Whew.
Ganondorf: What?
Link: You have to realize that eveytime Li ends a chapter he hurts someone badly.
Ganondorf: Well I'm leaving.
(The gerudo king walks of, leaving a nervous Link standing alone.)
Link: Looks like I'm safe.
*SLAM*
(Out of nowhere Darunia body slams Link.)
Darunia: That's what you get for leaving me out of this chapter Li. *pounds Links body into the ground*
(After the pummeling Link he grabs him by the collar, and finally realizes who he is.)
Darunia: Oops... *drops Link*
(Darunia looks around before whistling and walks off.)
A/N: Well here you are a new chapter, bet you didn't expect my cousin to make an apperance. For all of you asking, yes,
he does act like that, not literally but he likes to hit and jump on people, well me at least. Also I would like to thank
an author that has been reviewing since the beginning. Kiana, thank you.
Field Day
By Li Kenta
Chapter 5
Li: Hi, guys.
Link: Hey, Li. Who's that?
(Link points to a squirming two-year-old in Li's arms.)
Li: Oh, this is my baby cousin Micheal.
Zelda: Oh he's so cute.
(Zelda takes the baby from Li's hands into hers and tickles the little guy. Micheal laughs happily apparently taking a
liking to the hylian princess.)
Saria: Can I play with him?
(Zelda reluncantly handed Saria the baby, the kokiri begins playing with the little guy.)
Li: Seeing as how you like the him, can I ask a favor?
Ganondorf: Hmm, what is it?
Li: Could you baby-sit him, you see I'm going somewhere and it's to dangerous for him.
Link: Okay, no problem.
Li: Oh, and if he becomes to much of a problem just take him to Malon, she'll know what to do.
Ganondorf: *crotching* How can this pathetic little thing be a problem?
(Micheal looks at the evil Gerudo for a while, then takes out his favorite toy, a wooden hammer.)
Ganondorf: Ahh, you gonna hit me with that pathetic ascuse for a weapon?
(Immediatly after Ganondorf finished his question, the toddler smashed the hammer against the wizaeds nose.)
Link: Li, I really like your cousin.
Ruto: *grabs Mike* Yeah, he's so cute.
(Mike looks at her for a while before crying loudly.)
Zelda: *takes Mike, he stops crying* What did you do to him?
Ruto: Nothing, I just grab him like this.
(Ruto grabs the baby agian, and like before he crys.)
Zelda: *takes Mike* Seems like he doesn't like you.
Ruto: Yeah, right.
(Again dhe attempts to take him, this time before he could reach him he let out a small yelp.)
Li: Thanks, you guys are a big help.
Zelda: Actually, I have some diplomatic issues I need to attend to.
Saria: I have to check on the forest.
Nabooru: Some men were captured spying on the fortress, I need to decide their...punishment.
Impa: I must go with princess.
Rauru: The Light temple needs to be cleaned.
(Li looks at the four remaining, Link, Ganondorf, Ruto and Darunia.)
Li: First off, Darunia your not going to baby-sit him.
Darunia: Why?
Li: First, I saw you give that "friendly" pat to Link, second you'd probably mistake baby-sitting as actually sitting on
the kid.
Link: Yeah it's true.
Ruto: You do kind have a habit of doing that.
Darunia: Fine, I'll go but hear this Li, I'll be back and when I am you will go through tremendous amounts of pain!
Li: *picking food out his teeth* What? I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention.
Darunia: Damn you.
(Darunia walks toward Death Mountain.)
Li: Okay, thanks guys, *hands Mike to Link and leaves*
(Li begins to walk away and before he's out of hearing range, yells.)
Li: Remeber, if he becomes a problem take him to Malon!!
Ganondorf: How can this Imp be a problem?
Link: He could wack you in the nose again with his hammer.
Ganondorf: He got lucky.
Link: Well kid, let me give you a brief rundown of Hyrule.
(He takes the toddler on his shoulder.)
Link: Over their is Hyrule castle too it's left is Kakoriko Village and Death Mountain. Behind us is Lake Hylia, to our
left is Lon Lon Ranch, and in the west is Gerudo Fortress. To our right is the river that leads to Zora's Domain.
Ganondorf: I don't know why you tell him this, he's an idiot and doesn't understand a word you say.
(Without warning a small wooden hammer nailed Ganondorf right between the eyes, causing him to fall into the river.
Ruto: I think he understood that.
Link: Huh? What's that sign say?
(Link and Ruto head towards the sign, while a large group a Octorok surrond Ganondorf.)
Ganondorf: Uh...guys?
Link: 'Warning do not enter water, Otorock mating season'?
Ganondorf: They...look pissed...
Ruto: Of course, during Otorock mating season, going into this river is suicide.
Link: Why?
Ruto: The males shoot rocks none stop until the invader is either dead or leaves.
(At those words the Otorocks launched rocks out of their mouthes, each one nailing Ganondorf.)
Ruto: Should we help him?
Link: *restraining laughter* Give it a few minutes,
(They continued to watch Ganondorf get the shit beat out of him. Eventually a tooth flies from Ganondorf's mouth.)
Link: I think now is a good time to help him.
(They drag Ganondorf unconsious carcass from the river.)
Ruto: *slaping him* Wake up!"
(They continue to try waking him up. Mike suddenly jumps from Links hands and lands on the gerudo's stomch, which, in
turn causes him him to spit a stream of water right in Links face.)
Ganondorf: *cough, cough*
Ruto: Are you okay?
Ganondorf: *in a daze* Night, mommy...
Link: I really like this kid.
(Ruto smacks Ganondorf getting him out of his hallucinating state. At the same time Mike starts crying uncontrolably.)
Ruto: Why's he crying? I didn't touch him.
Ganondorf: Turn it off!
Link: I think this is a good time to take him to Malon.
(After a few minutes of walking with bawling two-year-old, they reach Lon Lon Ranch.)
Link: Malon!!
Malon: *appears from behind the stables* What? huh, oh Micheal.
(Malon takes Mike from Link's arms and at that preciswe moment he stops crying.)
Link: Looks like Li isn't the only one in the Kenta family that likes red-heads.
Malon: Micheals just a bit hungry, I'll get him some milk.
Link: I could use some.
(The trio enter Malon's house, leaving Ganondorf and Ruto by themselves.)
Ruto: So...
Ganondorf: *snicker*.
Ruto: What's so funny?
Ganondorf: That cuccos has taken a liking to your leg.
(Ruto looks down to see indeed a cuccos cuddling next to her leg.)
Ruto: Hey!! Buzz off!!
Ganondorf: Doesn't look like he's listening.
(Ruto walks away from the would-be poultry, hoping it would give it the rooster the idea to leave her alone. Instead
the bird continued to follow her, while Ganondorf sat in the shadows, curious to see what would happen.)
In Malon's house...
Link: You sure know how to handle the little guy.
Malon: Yeah, well, he's been here before.
Link: Really, how?
Malon: Li, comes here all the time when not in his fanfic.
Link: Oh...
Outside...
Ruto: I told you leave me alone. *kicks the rooster*
(At that exact moment every animal went silent, Ruto looked around to see cuccos every where, in front of her, behind, on
the roof and fences. Finally she saw the rooster she kicked looking pissed.)
Ruto: Uhhh...
Rooster: PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!
(At the mighty call every cuccos in the ranch attack Ruto.)
Back at the house...
Link: Huh? Ganodorf, where the hell's Ruto?
(Ganondorf looks through the window, and saw Ruto running from the ranch, with a fleet of cuccos chasing and pecking
her.)
Ganondorf:...She had to leave suddenly.
Link: Oh, okay.
Malon: OH, NO!!!!!!!!!!
(The two men cringed at the sound of Malon's screech, and saw her running down the stairs.)
Meanwhile with Ruto...
Ruto: Get off. *throws cuccos off her*
(Ruto continues running until she reaches Zora's river, getting the idea that she is safe she jumps in. Immediatly the
flock of birds stop in their tracks and back of.)
Ruto: What? *throws water* afraid of a little...
(Without warning a group of Octoroks surrond her.)
Ruto: Crap...
(In perfect unison the group of males shot rocks at her.)
Back at Malon's...
Malon: Micheals, missing!!
Link: Oh shit, if Li finds out he'll kill us or least add more chapters.
Reader: Yes!!
Ganondorf: Oh, shut up!
Link: Where did you see him last?
Malon: I was putting him down for a nap and I opened a window so it...that's it!!!
(The trio runs up the stares to the bedroom, only to see the window gutters fluttering. The immediatly looked through it,
and indeed the find Micheal walking on the roof.)
Malon: Ganondorf go get him!!
Ganondorf: What makes you think I'll...
Malon: NOW!!!!!
Ganondorf: Yes, Ma'am.
(The gerudo king steps on the roof and begins following Micheal.)
Ganondorf: Okay runt, come here.
(Mike looks at Ganondorf for a while before throwing his hammer at him. Again the the hammer met with a portion of his
face, this time his jaw.)
Ganondorf: That's it! *dives for Micheal*
(The little guy merely sat down, causing Ganondorf to miss him completly.)
Ganondorf: Damn, missd...
*CRASH*
(Ganondorf head ramed right through the wall of the stables.)
Malon: Oooo...
Link: That would hurt him.
(That situation sudenly turned bad as Mike jumped off the side of the roof.)
Malon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Oh no.
(Link goes to the side of the roof and see's...Mike happily bouncing in a pile of hay.)
Link: He's okay!
Malon: Thank, Farore! I'll be right down.
Link: *jumps down* Okay Mike let's go.
(Toddler just ran towards the horse's.)
Link: No, come back!
(Mike goes behind a horse, wanting to play with it's tail.)
Link: Come here.
(Link reaches for Mike only to accidently touch the hores rump. The horse, feeling his personal space was beyond violated,
gave Link a solid kick with his back legs.)
Link: *clutching head and chest* Pain...
Malon: There you are.
(Malon picks up the happy toddler and cradles him in her arms.)
Malon: Don't you ever scare me like that again.
Li: Hey guys, you here!?
Malon: Li!
(Malom quickly ran to the entrance of her ranch and saw Li, draging Ruto unconsious carcass and being followed by an army
cuccos.)
Li: Don't ask.
(Link and Ganondorf appear behind him, looking beyond pissed.)
Li: I see the little guy gave you a bit of trouble.
Malon: He wasn't any trouble at all.
Ganondorf: Yeah, he was a curse!
(For the fourth time that day Mike's hammer met a portion of Ganondorf's face, this time his left eye.)
Link: I don't care what anybody says, this kid's great.
Ruto: Eggs are funny. *collapse*
Li: Well, I have to go, Mike's got to be at home by five or my aunt's going to have my head.
Malon: I'll help you out.
(The pair leave with Mike.)
Link: Whew.
Ganondorf: What?
Link: You have to realize that eveytime Li ends a chapter he hurts someone badly.
Ganondorf: Well I'm leaving.
(The gerudo king walks of, leaving a nervous Link standing alone.)
Link: Looks like I'm safe.
*SLAM*
(Out of nowhere Darunia body slams Link.)
Darunia: That's what you get for leaving me out of this chapter Li. *pounds Links body into the ground*
(After the pummeling Link he grabs him by the collar, and finally realizes who he is.)
Darunia: Oops... *drops Link*
(Darunia looks around before whistling and walks off.)
A/N: Well here you are a new chapter, bet you didn't expect my cousin to make an apperance. For all of you asking, yes,
he does act like that, not literally but he likes to hit and jump on people, well me at least. Also I would like to thank
an author that has been reviewing since the beginning. Kiana, thank you.
