Disclaimer: Characters still owned by nintendo, despite my many attempts to gain ownership of them, damn copyright laws!

A Field Day in Hyrule

Chapter 8

By Li Kenta

(It was a peaceful day in Hyrule until...)

Ganondorf: AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

(Ganondorf rampages through the land with an army of Moblins.)

Link: Not so fast!!

(Ganondorfs army turns to the direction of the voice to see Link with the Hylian army behind him.)

Link: This ends here!

Ganondorf: Yes, for you!!!!

Link: Fat chance!!

Ganondorf: HA!!! My army is invincable, right men!!!?

(The army responds by yelling and raising their weapons to the air, only to get electrocuted by a barrage of lightning

bolts.)

All:...

Moblin Army: *sizzle*

Voice: Wrong!!

Link: Could it be?

Ganondorf: NO WAY!!!!

Voice: Wrong again!

(A wall of wind surrounds the King of Evil, blocking any escape.)

Ganondorf: Oh, son of a... *head gets smashed into the ground by a pair of booted feet*

Li: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Link: It's about damn time.

Li: You actually missed me?

Link: No, I missed the things you did to Ganondorf.

Li: Well, that's understandable.

Link: Speaking of him, when exactly are you going to let him up for air?

Li: *looks down at feet, to see Ganondorfs head still in the ground* Oops.

(Li gets off Ganondorfs head and quickly pops it out of the ground.)

Ganondorf: *weakly* I'm okay.

Link: *snaps fingers* Damn.

Li: Doesn't look like he's going to move anytime soon.

Ganondorf: That's what you think!!

(Ganondorf jumps away from the two.)

Ganondorf: You think driving my head into the hard earth is going stop me?

Li: How the hell did you recover so fast!?

Ganondorf: Ha, do you take me for a weakling?!

Link: The thought had crossed my mind, yes.

Ganondorf: Idiots, I have survived far worse by your hand Li.

Li: Yeah, he's right.

Ganondorf: It's going to take a lot more to get me down this time!

Malon: Li!!!!!!!!!!

(The three men turned to sound of the voice.)

Ganondorf: Oh shi... *gets trampled by a trio of horses*

Li: Malon!!!

(The red-head jumps off Epona and tackles Li.)

Malon: *hugging Li* I missed you so much!

Li: *quietly* Malon...

Malon: Li...?

Li: *pointing to face* Air...

Malon: Oh jeez, *let's him go* sorry.

Li: *coughing* No problem.

Zelda: Hi, Link.

Link: Hey, honey.

Impa: Looks like you took care of Ganondorfs army.

Li: Yup, we turned'im into roast pork.

Link: Literally.

(Meanwhile the pathetic villian of this story shakingly gets to his feet.)

Ganondorf: Dammit! *supports himself* I need to find a way to beat Li.

(Suddenly his support moves, Ganondorf sees that his support are Zelda and Malon's horses, and Ganondorf has there hand on

there rumps.)

Ganondorf: Oh, cra... *kicked and sent flying*

(Our supposed antagonist, again gets to his feet by supporting himself, and again the support moves, reveiling Impas horse.)

Ganondrof: Oh gods no...*again kicked and sent flying*

Meanwhile...

Impa: How long do think those horse are going to keep this up?

Link: As long as Ganondorf is still consicous, look there he goes again.

(The group continuse to look, as if in a tennis match.)

Zelda: What are they doing now?

(The three horses converge on one area just as Ganondorf falls, and in unison they kick upward sending him into orbit.)

Li: We won't be seeing him for a while.

Voice: Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Five heads turn towards the direction of the voice and see Physco Demon Fish, uhh I mean Crazy Bitch, oh jeez, what I

meant to say is...Ruto...?)

Link: Li, get out of the way!

Li: *stands still*

Link: Oh Nayru, she scared him so much, he's just standing there in mute horror!

(As Ruto gets closer, Li still does nothing, once geting close enough Ruto jumps at him, only to have him quickly side step

and her head embeded in a rock wall.)

Impa: Well, you wern't expecting that.

Saria: Hey guys, what's up?

Malon: Ganondorf.

Saria: Huh?

Zelda: He's been sent into orbit.

Saria: *turns to Li, who just shrugs* Well, at least he's gone, where's his army?

Li: I fried them, and I mean literaly. *points to a still sizzling army*

Meanwhile...

(All is peaceful on Death Mountain, that is until a flaming meteor comes crashing down.)

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(While our idiotic anti-hero stands up, we hear Darunia.)

Darunia: Hmm, flashing lights, expolsions and what sounds like Ganondorf screaming like a little girl, this could only mean

one thing, Li's back.

(Darunia rolls up in a ball and rolls down the mountain, barely missing our demented arch-fiend.)

Ganondorf: *breaths sigh of relief* That was close. *rocks hits him in the head* what the.. *another hits him* dammit, what

the he...

(Ganondorf, while looking up, gets crushed by a giant boulder, bending him so far in the wrong direction even a yoga

instructer would cringe.)

Back to Li and company...

Darunia: Hey, Li!

Li: What's up?

Darunia: Well, uhh...*sniffs air*...is someone barbecuing pork?

Link: I guess you can say that.

Nabooru: Hey, guys.

Li: Hey, Nabooru, what brings you here?

Nabooru: Well, I heard hi-pitched screaming, so I figured you did something to Ganondorf.

Zelda: Hmm, looks like the gangs all here.

Rauru: Not yet!

(We see the fatass, riding a donkey and scarfing down twinkies.)

Malon: Well, that's really showing off the pride and dignity of the Hylian clergy.

Rauru: Hey, people. *falls off his "steed"*

All:...

Link: *to himself* This guy helped me save Hyrule?

Ganondorf: Prepare to die!!!!

Li: *sighs, turns around* What do you want?

Ganondorf: For you to die!!!

Li: That's not gonna happen.

Ganondorf: Oh yes, it is, look behind you!

Li: Oh yeah like there's...eep!

Ruto: Li, my love, you will be mine.

Malon: Not if I can help!

(Malon steps in between them, wearing combat boots, camo pants, a green tank top, a pair of sunglasses and holding an

M-4 carbine with an attached grenade launcher.)

Malon: To get to him, your going to have to go through me!

Li:...Malon, I don't know if I should be telling you this but...I am SO turned on right now.

Ruto: Pretty soon that's going to be me!

All Males:...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *fall to the ground in fetal position* evil images, evil images...

Malon: That's I'm kickin' both your sorry asses.

Li: *still on the ground* Damn, she's hot today...

One rampage, three mistrails, and seventeen mental institute visists later...

Li: I can't believe that dumbass judge wanted to convict Malon, *puts arm around Malon* the nerve of him!

Zelda: Well she did kind of blow a hole through the walls of the castle...

Link: Not to mention, start that fire...

Saria: Also, use an unconscious person to beat Ganondorf with...

Impa: Then there was that stampede of horses that destroyed Kakoriko Village...

Nabooru: Finally, you two did kind of flip him off.

Li: Bastard desrved it...well he did!!

Malon: Good thing you used your author powers to restore evrything, or else I would have been in trouble.

Li: Yeah, well, you know it's a gift.

Zelda: Well, all's well that ends well.

Link: Yeah, by the way what happened to Ganondorf?

Li:...uuuuuuuhhhhhh...

Meanwhile...

Ganondorf: Damn community service...*picks up can, only to hit the back of the head by a passer byer* hey, watch it!!

Guard: Hey, shut up!

Ganondorf: *to himself* Yeah, that's gonna happen...

Guard: Or else we're going to release...The Creature.

Ganondorf: EEK!

Guard: That's what I thought.

(While Ganondorf quadrupals his work output, we get a close up on The Creature.)

Ruto: I am NOT the gods only mistake in creation of this land!

Guard: Then why are you so hideous?

Ruto: I am not, I have a beautiful body. *strikes a pose*

Guard: Oh gods my eyes, they burned, it hurts, somebody tear them out!!

Ruto:...Bastard.

Back to the group...

Li:...I dunno.

Link: Well, looks like it's time to end this.

Li: Yeah, well, I can't believe i'm going to say this but I'll miss you guys.

Malon: We'll miss you to.

Zelda: Good-bye Li.

Li: See ya guys.

A/N: Hey guys, okay at this point I know you want to kill me for making you wait nearly four months for an update, but I

have good reason, first off I moved so it took me a while to getmy internet back up and second this is well, the last

chapter of this fic so it took me a while to write it. It may come as a shock but I originally intended for this to be a

one shot fic, but my many reviewers convinced me other wise. Well it's been fun writing this fic, thank you for reading,

despite my many spelling and grammar errors and I have to say for a rookie writer I think I did quite well for myself, i

just hope this chapter lives up to the expectations of my fans, I know my last chapter kind of sucked. Finally I would

like to thank every one the reviewed my fic, as crappy as it is:

Triple M- Thanks for all the reviews buddy, your support as a friend and fellow author really helped me.

Deuce God of Thunder- Much thanks for all the reviews, and keep writing those G-Gundam fics.

Dragon Pokemon Trainer- Your reviews were much appreciated and gave me a good amount of confidence, thanks, man.

Guardian Storm Demon- Nice to see that somebody that hates Ruto as much as me, and thank you for all the kind words.

Kian- You were always one of my best reviewers, that helped me out a lot, thanks.

Also I would like to thank (I apologize for any misspellings):

Nabooru'z Gurl

Wes the Swordsmaster

Bunnylover

JustAGirl

Coolies

Shacena Dragmire

Kholdstar 1225

fire mage

broncobabe007

Eowyn-144