It's a Wonderful Love Life by B.E.N.
Chapter One
Okay, I suppose it's best to start from the beginning, even though I'm sure you're all VERY curious to find out who I fell in love with. (giggles nervously) But that is yet to come, because I have a lot to tell.
It all started a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.well actually, NO galaxy is far away because you can just transport from one to the next, just like that-but that doesn't matter. And it wasn't all that long ago either.maybe three weeks ago. But it seems like an eternity.
I was sitting on the roof of the Benbow Inn, thinking of how happy I was. Then I realized that I hadn't had a relationship lately. Well, there was that thing with Silver, but it crashed and burned within a couple of days, and by that time, we were both ready to get out. It had pained me so much that I hadn't had any relationships since.
Anyhow, as it happened, just as I was climbing down and getting into the kitchen again (the noon shift was about to start, and it's always crazy) , when I heard this creak as the door opened. It wasn't the door I'd heard, I knew; that was the sound of a BP358 model-just twenty years younger than mine. And by the squeak from the swiveling of the hips, I knew it was a girlbot. I stepped out of the kitchen to say hello, and I just stood there, my mouth hanging open. Then the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me occurred right then.
My memory circuit fell out. And of course, no one was there to help me, so I had to turn around and get it! Imagine that! Two milliseconds after we meet, and I'm already showing my wires! Anyway, she giggles.kinda like this (giggles in a feminine way), and just smiles when I turn around, my mandible all rusty. I decide not to draw attention to the inappropriate scene, and extend my hand. Then I draw it back as she goes to shake it! (I'm losing my brains every second!) This was because I had dirty dish water all over it, and it's very impolite for a dirty robot to shake hands with a clean robot.
She was lovely. Her bronze curls stuck out in every direction ( I mean that in a very endearing way) and she had the most gorgeous Central Processing Unit I've ever seen. Very sleek and stylish, and she kept it well-shined. She was the prettiest copper color I've ever seen I think, and she blinked her blue eyes at me. She even had electronic eyelashes, batting along with her computerized pupils. And the purse she carried, Oh! You should've seen it, you'd DIE. It's just the most PERFECT shade of lilac!
She smiled when I explained that I had dirty hands, and nodded ever-so- primly. "How do you do, I'm P.A.T."
"P-p-pat? That wouldn't chance to stand for anything, would it?" I asked, my electronic pulse unit beating faster. I had to know; I just couldn't wait to find out if it all-well, if someone else had an acronym name like me!
"Why yes, it does. How did you know?" she wondered, blinking those dainty blue eyes at me.
"A-a-actually, my name is B.E.N. S-stands for Bio E-electronic N-n- navigator."
"Really. Well, mine stands for Personal Automatic Translator. I speak in 8 billion different languages.and I can spell "handsome" in every one of them." She turned, swiveling her squeaky hips one more time, and then headed for the stairs. P.A.T. turned one more time to look at me. "By the way, you ought to get your voice modulator fixed.it's making you stutter all the time." And with that, she'd gone up the steps to speak with Mrs. Hawkins and get a room.
I whirled into the kitchen, in an unseasonably good mood as I began to prepare a hearty feast. I went the extra mile, even baking a cake with pink frosting on it. I didn't realize truly how much P.A.T. had affected me until I found myself writing PAT in lovely white icing on the cake's top. By the time I noticed what I'd done, lunch was nearly there. I panicked, running all over the kitchen.
**
The meal I prepared for noon was spectacular, nothing too done or too raw or too runny. Everything was perfect. I sat back and listened while everyone paid his compliments to the chef. Then it was time for dessert. I brought out the cake, and for a while everyone just stared at it.
" 'Pat a baby on the Head Day?'" Delbert frowned; he hadn't heard of it before. Of course, no one had heard of it, but that's beside the point. "I don't know that I have ever celebrated that one."
"Oh sure you have, Doc. Remember, even the Mayor of the city would celebrate this one!"
"No actually, I think that's Memorial Day, B.E.N. But oh, well. Cake looks good."
His wife smiled at him as, with a gentlemanly flourish of his arm, he cut the cake and began to serve it. She took a bite and swallowed; looked at the cake; then took another bite, bigger this time, and swallowed again. A smile spread across her face; I knew she loved it.
Then P.A.T., who had declined lunch that day (much to both my relief and sorrow), came down the stairs to have some cake! I was about to die, of course, and I hoped upon hope that she wouldn't take the piece with her name on it.but she did. And I nearly fell off my chair. But she ate it, apparently without realizing that her name was on the piece of cake she was eating so calmly! But I told myself, No one knows that it was an accident...no one has to know.
I therefore retreated to my little room off the kitchen to think about..P.A.T..
Chapter One
Okay, I suppose it's best to start from the beginning, even though I'm sure you're all VERY curious to find out who I fell in love with. (giggles nervously) But that is yet to come, because I have a lot to tell.
It all started a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.well actually, NO galaxy is far away because you can just transport from one to the next, just like that-but that doesn't matter. And it wasn't all that long ago either.maybe three weeks ago. But it seems like an eternity.
I was sitting on the roof of the Benbow Inn, thinking of how happy I was. Then I realized that I hadn't had a relationship lately. Well, there was that thing with Silver, but it crashed and burned within a couple of days, and by that time, we were both ready to get out. It had pained me so much that I hadn't had any relationships since.
Anyhow, as it happened, just as I was climbing down and getting into the kitchen again (the noon shift was about to start, and it's always crazy) , when I heard this creak as the door opened. It wasn't the door I'd heard, I knew; that was the sound of a BP358 model-just twenty years younger than mine. And by the squeak from the swiveling of the hips, I knew it was a girlbot. I stepped out of the kitchen to say hello, and I just stood there, my mouth hanging open. Then the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me occurred right then.
My memory circuit fell out. And of course, no one was there to help me, so I had to turn around and get it! Imagine that! Two milliseconds after we meet, and I'm already showing my wires! Anyway, she giggles.kinda like this (giggles in a feminine way), and just smiles when I turn around, my mandible all rusty. I decide not to draw attention to the inappropriate scene, and extend my hand. Then I draw it back as she goes to shake it! (I'm losing my brains every second!) This was because I had dirty dish water all over it, and it's very impolite for a dirty robot to shake hands with a clean robot.
She was lovely. Her bronze curls stuck out in every direction ( I mean that in a very endearing way) and she had the most gorgeous Central Processing Unit I've ever seen. Very sleek and stylish, and she kept it well-shined. She was the prettiest copper color I've ever seen I think, and she blinked her blue eyes at me. She even had electronic eyelashes, batting along with her computerized pupils. And the purse she carried, Oh! You should've seen it, you'd DIE. It's just the most PERFECT shade of lilac!
She smiled when I explained that I had dirty hands, and nodded ever-so- primly. "How do you do, I'm P.A.T."
"P-p-pat? That wouldn't chance to stand for anything, would it?" I asked, my electronic pulse unit beating faster. I had to know; I just couldn't wait to find out if it all-well, if someone else had an acronym name like me!
"Why yes, it does. How did you know?" she wondered, blinking those dainty blue eyes at me.
"A-a-actually, my name is B.E.N. S-stands for Bio E-electronic N-n- navigator."
"Really. Well, mine stands for Personal Automatic Translator. I speak in 8 billion different languages.and I can spell "handsome" in every one of them." She turned, swiveling her squeaky hips one more time, and then headed for the stairs. P.A.T. turned one more time to look at me. "By the way, you ought to get your voice modulator fixed.it's making you stutter all the time." And with that, she'd gone up the steps to speak with Mrs. Hawkins and get a room.
I whirled into the kitchen, in an unseasonably good mood as I began to prepare a hearty feast. I went the extra mile, even baking a cake with pink frosting on it. I didn't realize truly how much P.A.T. had affected me until I found myself writing PAT in lovely white icing on the cake's top. By the time I noticed what I'd done, lunch was nearly there. I panicked, running all over the kitchen.
**
The meal I prepared for noon was spectacular, nothing too done or too raw or too runny. Everything was perfect. I sat back and listened while everyone paid his compliments to the chef. Then it was time for dessert. I brought out the cake, and for a while everyone just stared at it.
" 'Pat a baby on the Head Day?'" Delbert frowned; he hadn't heard of it before. Of course, no one had heard of it, but that's beside the point. "I don't know that I have ever celebrated that one."
"Oh sure you have, Doc. Remember, even the Mayor of the city would celebrate this one!"
"No actually, I think that's Memorial Day, B.E.N. But oh, well. Cake looks good."
His wife smiled at him as, with a gentlemanly flourish of his arm, he cut the cake and began to serve it. She took a bite and swallowed; looked at the cake; then took another bite, bigger this time, and swallowed again. A smile spread across her face; I knew she loved it.
Then P.A.T., who had declined lunch that day (much to both my relief and sorrow), came down the stairs to have some cake! I was about to die, of course, and I hoped upon hope that she wouldn't take the piece with her name on it.but she did. And I nearly fell off my chair. But she ate it, apparently without realizing that her name was on the piece of cake she was eating so calmly! But I told myself, No one knows that it was an accident...no one has to know.
I therefore retreated to my little room off the kitchen to think about..P.A.T..
