Disclaimer: I do not own ER or any of its characters. They belong to Michael Crighton, NBC, etc.
Author's note: I know it's been a long time since I've last written, but I've been really busy with finals and all at the end of the year. So, now that school's finally out, I'm going to finish this story. This chapter is the first of the "two part finale" to this fanfic.
"Abby, I love you," I heard Luka say softly. No, no, no, I thought to myself, this cannot be happening. After all Carter and I have been through, I refuse to let this happen.
"Luka, I can't do this anymore," I heard myself say firmly.
"Can't do what?"
"This. All of these games we play, these awkward love triangle, 'who's Abby going to pick', lets fawn over Abby but not admit we like her games- I can't take it anymore. I've picked, I've made my decision. I love John, Luka. I like you, and I would love to be friends with you, but not if it's going to be like this for the rest of our lives."
Both of us sat there silently for a few moments, not knowing quite what to say after my little outburst. Finally Luka looked down at the ground, then back up at me, and said, "I know."
"What?" I asked somewhat annoyed "You know what?"
"I know we can't keep playing these games. I also knew that if I stayed in Croatia, I would just be running from this, and from you, for the rest of my life, and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to 'fawn over you and not admit it'. I didn't really expect you to be with me; I just needed to tell you this in person."
"Okay," I said calmly, taking a deep breath. "I can deal with that."
"So, what are we going to do now?"
"Right now, I'm going to go find Carter," I said. Luka started to say something, but I put up my hand to stop him. "I know that's not what you meant, but that's exactly what I need to do right now." I walked out of the room and down the hall to the lounge. Suddenly, I saw Susan and Carter standing outside the door, talking.
"Hey," I said gently.
"Hey," replied Carter.
"Okay, how about you two go in there, and I'll leave you alone," put in Susan.
"But what about the traumas?" asked Carter.
"I think we can manage without you guys for a few minutes. Now go," she said, pushing me into the lounge.
* * *
As I slowly sat down in one of the not-very-comfortable chairs in the lounge, I looked closely at Abby. She had changed so much since the first time I met her, almost 3 & ½ years ago, but I was still just as in love with her as I had been that day.
"So, you know, right?" asked Abby.
"Yeah, Susan told me," I said.
"Look, I should have told you about what happened, and I'm sorry, but we were doing really well then, and I didn't want to mess things up. But, I guess it's a little late for that now," Abby said.
"No, it's not too late. I shouldn't have freaked out the way I did," I responded.
"Wait- when did you freak out?"
"Umm, about five minutes ago, when I saw you in there with Luka," I muttered sheepishly, and Abby grinned at me in that way she does.
"Are you laughing at me?"
"No, I would never do that," she replied teasingly. I took her hand in mine, and we both just sat there for a moment. "Why does it have to be so hard?" she asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Us. Being together. We never really had that 'honeymoon period' where everything is just great and happy. We've always had so much drama in our relationship."
"I don't know. I don't know why it was always so hard for us. I used to think that that meant I, or we, were doing something wrong."
"And now?" she asked, looking closely at me. I paused for a moment, gathering my thoughts.
"The fact that we're still together, after all we've been through- I think it means we're doing something right. And it's going to be right for the rest of our lives."
