WNN, Wizard's News Network

By: Hurmynee

Disclaimer: SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!

Episode Four: Celebrity Gossip with Cho Chang.

Cho Chang: Hello, and welcome to Celebrity Gossip with me, Cho Chang.

Cho Chang: Our first bit of gossip today is about one named singer/songwriter Trelawney. Today she is under a tidbit of flameage, due to something said by Remus Lupin, that implied that she was a lesbo...I mean, leans over the other side of the white picket fence. In her defense, she is holding a live press meeting.

*The scene goes to a press meeting room*

Trelawney: Okay, I want to say I was highly offended by what Lupin had to say about my gender preference! I was moreover offended because I dated him * there is a loud coughliecough* ! And I've had a history with Hagrid. And maybe Snape. But I must say I have NEVER dated a woman! Any questions, cause I predict you people have some?

Reporter 1: If you're a master of Divination, in addition to vocals, shouldn't you have sent out a warning beforehand?

Trelawney: That would have seemed suspicious to do out of the blue! Besides, it would have ruined the cosmos of the earth!

Reporter 2: If your straight as a rail, why were you seen at the W&WSA (Witch and Wizard Specialty Awards) with Lavendar Brown?

Trelawney: ...err... no comment...

*the scene goes back to Cho, who's vomiting into a mini tin garbage can*

Cho: What? Oh, yea.

Cho: There has been rumor going around that Draco freaked out last week in a Wal-Mart after *wipes some upchuck off the side of her mouth* he saw a bunch of Harry Potter toys. I want to confirm that this is a fact. As a matter of fact, here is one of the toys *pulls out a Harry Potter chibi-ish stuffed toy with a few extra arms and legs, and two extra heads, mildly reminisant of Fluffy* . This is the least dirty of the many.

Cho: Ginny, gone Chicago? Yes, it is rumored that the actress has been recently contracted to start in the non-muggle version of "Chicago". The leading males have yet to be casted, but Hermione G. is guarunteed a spot as Velma Kelly.

Cho: Remus Lupin has stirred up quite a bit of trouble today, resigning from WNN to live within the muggle world. Apparently, he thinks that most of the men here in the wizard world are homosexual. *A line up of most of the male students in drag is shown* You, can decide for yourself.

Cho: Now, it is time for our weekly interview. We invite someone who has made a big impact on the wizard world within the last week, and let you, the viewers, ask them questions. Today, we have the Weasley Twins, Gred and Feo-I mean, Fred and George.

Fred and George: Ello, and you were right the first time.

Cho: Okay, our first call is from Pavarti of Diagon Alley, London.

Parvarti: Hello! *static* I was wondering, *static* why?*static*

Fred: Well, it's rather simple...

George: ...we ran out of ideas after the snogging prank!

Cho: THAT WAS JUST A PRANK? YOU MEAN I KISSED THAT GIRL BLAISE FOR- I mean, our next call is from Harry of Privet House Arrest.

Harry: What's the formula for your stinkbombs? Vernon and Petunia and Pig are getting on my nerves.

Fred: Well, it's homegrown, if you know what I mean. Plus starch, to make it permanent.

Cho: Gross, we'll take one more call. Terry B. of Cauldron Col-De-Sac, you're on!

Terry: Where did you buy the cast for the stinkbombs?

George: Well, we make them ourselves; with plaster of paris and newspaper.

Cho: Interesting...well, stay tuned for, "Afternoon Tea with Lucius and Snape"

Cho: I'm Cho Chang, and would SOMEONE PLEASE HAND ME MY TIN GARBAGE CAN?

A/N: I want to use this part to comment on everyone who reviewed Episode Three...

Sploosh: Hey, I think that would be a good idea! You can be Mary Sue's sister! ^^;

Rivan Knight: I'm glad you like my story! And I so love yours!

Ivory Tower: Well, Lucius and Snape are under control. Now, should I spike their tea X3

C.I.D.:I always thought I put the our in humour X'D