Chapter 10: three months later

Buffy was no longer allowed to work in the Magic Shop. She could no longer remember what she was looking for or doing for more than about a minute and it frustrated her too much to keep trying. She now spent her days either just sitting in the Magic Shop with her friends or at home watching TV. Her mind was slipping more each day. She could remember her name and who she was, she remembered names and faces of those closest to her but recently she started forgetting the names of her neighbors. Buffy didn't mind being at home because at least at him she didn't have to face Spike during the day. It hurt her so badly to see him just looking at her like her did. She knew he pitied her and she hated hit. He's no supposed to feel pity, it's not supposed to be like this, she thought. But this was the card fate had dealt her and she was going to live with it as best as she could.

Buffy didn't know that everyday she spent out of the Magic Box was another day that the gang spent trying to find a spell to cure her. Even Joyce, Giles, Xander, and Anya were in on it. Joyce was reluctant but Giles assured her that he would double check anything they wanted to try before he allowed them to do it. She made a face but he calmly stated that he hadn't been the owner of a magic shop for twenty years with out picking something up. Willow and Tara were ecstatic when the roots they ordered were finally in and took off from work to start preparing the spell. Everyone was happy to know that the progress of Buffy's incoherence would be halted and maybe reversed.

That night Spike could barely contain his glee that tomorrow they girls would do the spell and that Buffy might be back to her normal self. Buffy picked up on it as he was getting into bed and asked him what was making him so happy.

"Nothing luv, I'm just happy to be going to bed." He kissed her cheek.

"Oh, okay."

"What's wrong luv?"

"I.. just.. I.." she burst into tears.

"What, pet tell me!" He held her close. He was used to her breaking into tears and was now very good at calming his wife down.

"I can't remember you name," she mumbled through her tears. "I know who you are and that you're my husband, but I can't think of your name!"

"It's Spike, luv. But I don't care what you call me, just remember me!" He broke into tears too and they lay together sobbing until they fell asleep.

The next day at the Magic Box was frantic. Everyone was trying to get the last of the necessary items ready for the spell. Spike was frantic that it wouldn't work and that Buffy would never again remember his name and then forget who he was. Everyone else worried that the spell would be messed up and that Buffy would lose her mind completely. Finally the last of the necessary items were in place and Spike called Buffy to tell her he was picking her up.

"Not like she'll remember when I come to get her," he mumbled bitterly to himself and left to pick her up. When he got there she had forgotten that he had called and was happy to see that he had taken off of work to be with her.

"No luv, I wanted to take you to the Magic Box."

"Oh. Have we been there before?" She smiled as she asked thinking that maybe there were going somewhere cool and new.

"Ah, yeah luv. You used to work there." His grip on the steering wheel tightened as he tried not to cry while he was driving. "You'll remember it once you get there though."

"Okay." Buffy sat quietly for the rest of the ride. As far as Spike could tell she had forgotten again where they were going. He pulled up to the curb in front of the Box and went to help her out of the car. At eight months, her belly was so big that she had trouble standing up from a sitting position. He pulled on her hand and walked her to the shop. Inside, he sat her down at one of the table, hating that he had to treat her like a child.

"I'll be back in a bit, luv. Just hang out here for a bit, k?" He kissed her forehead and walked back to the store room where Willow and Tara were ready to go. "Okay ladies, do your stuff." He gave them a sad smile and moved to where he could see Buffy. She was sitting facing away from him with her elbow on the table, head in her hand, staring blankly at the space in front of her. Tara and Willow began the spell and Spike watched Buffy closely for any signs of something happening. For the first few minutes nothing happened. Suddenly, Buffy sat straight up, like someone had shoved a rod through her spine. Willow and Tara's chanting became deeper and more resonant until all Spike could hear were their voices chanting in his ear and all he could see was Buffy, rigid in her chair. They finished the spell and Spike went to Buffy. As he walked up to her she didn't move.

"Buffy?" he called. "Luv?" He touched her shoulder and she collapsed. "No! Willow? Tara! What did you do?!" He cried in anguish feeling for a pulse. There was none. Willow and Tara exchanged frantic glances as Giles started dialing 911. Spike began CPR on Buffy mentally willing her heart to start. After five minutes his arms were fatigued and he let Oz take his place. He stayed at Buffy's head crying and hoping that she would wake. Sirens were heard outside and paramedics came rushing in with a stretcher. Before Spike knew it he was shoved in the back of the ambulance with Buffy and the EMTs. In a daze they were driven to the hospital, Spike looked out the window, unable to watch as the EMTs worked on Buffy. He saw Giles' car following them and he hoped that the girls were in the car, he wanted to know what went wrong!

At the hospital Buffy was taken into ER and Spike wasn't allowed to follow her. A nurse stayed with him and began to question him about what happened and what her previous health history was. He told her about the tumor and broke into tears just as Giles and the rest of the gang from the Magic Box arrived.

"Joyce is on her way, Spike. I'm sure they're doing everything they can for her." Giles gave Spike and awkward hug. Willow, Tara, and Oz stood mutely. When nothing happened in the first twenty minutes they decided to go and sit to wait. Spike quietly asked Willow and Tara what went wrong.

"Nothing as far as we can tell. It will take time for it to take effect but we think that she collapsed because of the tumor, not us." Spike nodded knowing that it had been seven and a half months since Buffy had been diagnosed. Joyce arrived then and they filled her in on Buffy's condition and that they hadn't heard anything else. They sat for another ten minutes before a doctor in scrubs came out and asked for Buffy's family. Giles, Joyce, and Spike stood and followed him down the hall way. He stopped in front of a small room.

"I'm afraid that we don't think she is going to live." Spike sagged against the wall, "we do think that we can save the baby though. With your permission we will perform a c-section and then will try to do what we can for Mrs. Summers-Rosenberg." Giles and Joyce looked at Spike, who nodded.

"Please, do your best!" Giles told him. The doctor nodded.



"If you would like you may go see her, this may be you last time." He opened the door and the trio walked in.



Buffy had been transformed in thirty minutes. Her beautiful body was now invaded by tubes and wires monitoring every aspect of her body. Giles and Joyce each took on of her hands and gave it a squeeze. "We love you sweetie." Then they left Spike with her. He stood at the edge of her bed. Never having been with anyone who was dying before he didn't know what to do. So he sat down by her bed, kiss her cheek and cried.



"Buffy, I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. I love you so much! Please don't leave me!"



"Mr. Rosenberg I'm sorry but we need to begin operating now." The doctor had come back and was shaking his shoulder. Spike stood up to leave but leaned over her once again and kissed her cheek.



"I love you. To fate," he whispered in her ear and left.

To Spike it felt like days passed but in reality it was only a few hours. He sat remembering every moment he'd ever spent with Buffy. Her infectious laughter, her beautiful smile, the way she snored, and how she smelled so good all the time. The gang drifted in an out of the waiting room, going for coffee or going for food but he stayed hoping to hear about his love or their baby. Spike laid his head back against the wall.

"Spike, I love you so much. I'm here for you." Buffy smiled at him. They were sitting in the park where they were married, eating a picnic.

"Please don't leave me, I don't know if I can live with out you!" He held her tightly.

"Don't worry! You won't have to face the dawn without me! To fate! To hope," she whispered in his ear. "Wake up Spike, I need you! Wake up." Hands shook him awake and he caught back a sob that it was only a dream.

"Spike! They're done! She's okay!" Giles was jubilant.

"Buffy? She's okay?"

"No, the baby. You're a father. It's a girl!" He jumped up and raced to the nursery where they were just placing her in a plastic cradle.

"You won't have to face the dawn with out me," he whispered to himself, "to fate. To hope!" The doctor caught up with him then and said they needed to sign the birth certificate. When he got to the name he knew exactly what to put: Dawn Hope Summers-Roseburg.