A New Breed of Slayer
A/N: Alright, sorry it took me so long. I've been really busy with school and all. A big thank you to all who reviewed and hopefully I'm going to be able to continue this well enough despite the fact that I know how it ends now. As Romance being the secondary genre, that will come into play later in the story. Also, a little reminder that this takes place after the episode 'First Date' but I might incorporate some things from the later episodes just to make it effective but I doubt that I'll be bringing Caleb into the mix; I hated him and am more than glad he died but I really don't have much of a use for him and Xander's eyes will remain intact. Anyway, on with the story then, I think you've waited long enough for this next chapter.
Ch 5 Renegade Prt.1
Xander sat opposite of Faith in Dawn's small, private, hospital room. The sterile smell stung his nose and he stroked Dawn's hand, his tears threatening to emerge once again. The doctors had sedated Dawn after her outburst and she had quietly drifted off to sleep without a struggle. Despite the doctor's assurance that now that Dawn had awoken from her coma it was likely she would be alright, despair still hung over all of their hearts. Faith was the worst. The doctors had tried to convince her to go home, wait for a call, but Faith had pushed passed into Dawn's room and had not left her side since. Xander, Willow and Cordelia had all been surprised by Faith's love for Dawn. It was a different kind of love from that of lovers themselves, it was a sisterly love. Nonetheless, love was something none of them thought Faith was capable of.
Willow and Cordelia had returned to the Hyperion to get some rest, both dead tired, but Xander had stayed behind with Faith. He couldn't bring himself to leave, in fear that if he did something horrible would happen. Hospitals had become too familiar to Xander in the time that he and Willow had befriended Buffy. From having to see Willow in a coma to Buffy drained of blood because of Angel, it never became any easier for him to handle. He had always been able to hold together, to go out and help on the field, but with Dawn it seemed different. His heart ached seeing her innocent face bruised and battered, the fang marks in her neck that had nearly been her death and the cast on her arm that lay gingerly over her stomach. Xander had seen all these things before, on his friends and himself, but seeing them on Dawn made them seem more real. The fact that Angelus had caused this seemed to further the pain on Xander's heart. Xander couldn't understand why he felt this way. He had become almost accustomed to death over the years, almost because one could ever be accustomed to such a thing, but when Dawn had died briefly he felt more despair than he thought possible.
He remembered Buffy's death then, both of them. He remembered how the first time she died he'd been able to bring her back, be the hero who saved her. The second time had been different. Buffy had not been grateful, she had changed, he had torn her from heaven. He remembered when Angelus had kidnapped Giles as they tried to bring Angel's soul back and how Willow had ended up in a coma. He remembered being there for Joyce's death, waiting for the autopsy. He had been there after Buffy had been shot, had been by her side as the doctors struggled to keep her alive. The despair of all those times amounted inside him to how he felt now. He hadn't been able to help Dawn this time, protect her from what had happened. Buffy had trusted him to be her keeper. To keep her out of trouble, but instead he had let Faith take her out to help find Angelus, he had nearly had her killed. He had sent the one person he was supposed to keep out of danger into the heart of it.
Dawn's features were light and innocent. She looked peaceful but Xander knew that was just the sedatives, she had been thrown into a dreamless sleep. Foggy eyed, Xander tried to keep the tears from falling as he reached to Dawn's hand and grasped it. He and Dawn were mere mortals. They didn't have special healing powers, they weren't demons or Vampires, or Slayers and neither had the kind of power Willow had. They were alone, out of the spotlight as he had put it, kindred souls trying to help the slayer any way they could and yet when the big fight came down he knew that the slayer would do all she could to keep them miles away from the danger. Sure, he was her strength, her white knight, but she would not let him fight by her side in fear that he would die. He and Dawn understood each other, their life in the shadows, their desperation to be allowed in the fight and their fear that Buffy would allow them to fight. The love he felt for Dawn was indescribable.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," the tired voice startled Xander. He looked up to Faith, sitting up in her chair, yawning. Xander started at her and wondered how long she had been awake. The words reverberated in his head and for a second he wondered if Faith could read his mind. "It's not your fault, we've went over that."
"I know," Xander muttered, "I-I just can't lose her Faith. We-we've just lost so many already, we can't lose her. Buffy...she'd..."
"B would pull a fit," Faith shrugged, "What else is new?"
"You don't understand Faith," Xander accused, "Buffy, she sacrificed her life so that Dawn could live, and have a life."
"I understand that Xander," Faith said, "I understand what's going on and how I'm not really going to be welcomed with open arms back in Sunnydale, especially not after this, and if Dawn had died I-I don't know what I'd have done."
"Dawn has that affect on people huh?" Xander sighed as he moved to sit on the bed and brushed some of Dawn's brown hair away from her face, "What you told me before, about that bond you and Dawn have, I think I have something like it."
"Hell Yeah," Faith nodded and looked Dawn over a minute, "Damn, B really doesn't know what she's got."
"I think she might," Xander sighed, "But not really like we do." Xander smiled faintly at the rogue slayer and leaned over and kissed Dawn's forehead. They sat in silence a while and Xander's stomach rumbled. "I'm going to get something to eat," he announced, "Want something?"
"Whatever," Faith shrugged. Xander nodded and left the room, hesitating a moment before closing the door behind him.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(Meanwhile, at the Summers' home in Sunnydale.)
Buffy paced, the sunrays illuminating her petite features. Ever few seconds the blonde slayer would glance at the phone then out the window. It was taking too long. She hadn't heard from Willow, Xander or even Spike since they had sprung Faith from jail and she was worried. It might've helped if the night before Sunnydale hadn't been so dead. A fight might've taken her mind off of the Angelus problems, but there hadn't been a Vampire in sight, not even a Bringer had attacked. Something didn't feel right.
Brushing Anya and Andrew off once again as they entered the living room asking if there was any news Buffy finally picked up the phone and dialled Angel's number at the hotel slowly. Letting it ring once she hung up, trying to convince that everything was alright and it was better not to worry the others with her call. The phone rang seconds later and Buffy quickly answered it, "Hello?"
"Uh, Buffy did you just call here?" Willow's voice sounded strained and tired.
"Yeah," Buffy sighed, relieved to hear Willow's voice not even noting her friend's tone.
"Is something wrong?" The witch asked, panicked.
"No," Buffy replied, "I was just wondering how things were going over there. I mean, is Angel back yet?"
"Uh...yeah," Willow's voice faltered slightly, "He's...uh...in his room resting..."
"Wills, is everything alright there?" Buffy had picked up on her friend's tone and despair surged through her again.
"Well, we might be delayed here a little longer," Willow responded, "Something kind of happened and we won't make it back tonight."
"What happened?" Buffy asked a number of horrible thoughts of what might've happened raced through her mind, "When will you be back?"
"I don't know when we'll make it back," Willow admitted, "Hopefully soon. If...if anything happens over there we'll...well if anything happens with the First in Sunnydale Spike and I'll come back....just...just don't worry Buffy."
"Willow, what happened?" Buffy repeated her first questioned and looked up to see Giles, Andrew, Anya and some potentials gathering in the room. Kennedy had rushed over to Buffy, her eyes begging to here that Willow was alright. Giles stood on the other side of her watching intently as Anya was nearly pressing her ear to the phone to here. The others kept their distance, not wanting to intrude on the conversation.
"We don't want to worry you," Willow explained, "Just keep focused on battling the First. We'll take care of everything here."
"Willow..." Buffy pressed but her friend cut her off.
"I'm sorry Buffy," Willow choked, "I...I got to go..." The line went dead.
Buffy slammed the receiver down on the end table and turned to the troubled looks of her friends and potentials. They all waited for her to speak, to explain her troubled expression and about the conversations with the troops sent to LA. They all remained silent waiting for her to speak but soon Kennedy grew inpatient. "What did Willow say?" she demanded.
"Angel's back but they're not coming home yet," Buffy muttered, "Something's wrong."
"Is Xander all right?" Anya wanted to know, "I mean, is he dead?"
"I...I don't know," Buffy struggled to remain strong. Her sister, her best friends, her fellow slayer, and Spike were in LA and something bad had happened. From what she could tell Spike and Willow were okay, but what about Faith, Dawn and Xander? Had something happened to them? She looked around to room once again. The potentials all stared wide-eyed at her, Kennedy stood staring witheringly at the telephone as if it was its fault, and Anya hugged herself and Giles had placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sure they'll be alright," the Watcher tried to assure her.
"I don't know Giles," Buffy turned to face him, "I just don't know."
~*~*~*~*~*~
(At Dawn's hospital room in LA.)
Dawn groaned. Those damn sedatives. She remembered waking up from her coma to the full room, remembered the look Faith had given her right before she left, remembered the doctors standing over her, remembered the visions of Angelus' torture and lastly the needle releasing the sedatives into her blood and then it had been all black. Luckily being sedated meant no dreams, no flashbacks from the horrid night she had endured. Horrid, even that word was not a strong enough to define what she had been through. Slowly Dawn became fully aware of everything, her body, her cast and bandages, the pain. Pain that she wished would go away, disappear. Using her good arm, Dawn tried to lift herself into a sitting position but winced as a sharp pain ran through her upper body. "Damn broken ribs," she heard a voice from beside her mutter, "Hurts like a bitch doesn't it?"
"Yeah," Dawn agreed turning her head to find Faith sitting in the corner of the room, leaning back in a chair, watching her.
"How you doing?" Faith asked, leaning forward from the shadows.
"Sure as hell not Five by Five," Dawn responded smiling weakly at the slayer, "Where's Angel?"
"Home," Faith replied, "Sun's up already, been a couple hours that Gunn came got him and Spike."
"I remember seeing him," Dawn murmured, "When I was dead. Is he alright?"
"No better than you," Faith sighed.
"Sure," Dawn laughed bitterly, "He's not in a hospital bed."
There it was again. That haunted look. It had reappeared on Dawn's face as soon as she had mentioned Angel. Faith looked at her fellow slayer's little sister guiltily and thought of Buffy herself. She remembered that feeling of revenge that had surged through her when she woke up from her coma. What was going through Dawn's mind right now? Was she thinking about what revenge she would bring upon Angel? Faith watched her closely. She showed no signs of anger, all that was there was pain. Dawn wasn't thinking about revenge right now, Faith realized this; Dawn was still trying to overcome her demons. Demons that Angelus had put into her head, or maybe they had already been there, whatever these demons were. "Dawnie," Faith's voice softened, "What happening in that building with Angelus?"
"I..." Darkness crossed over Dawn's face, "No, I can't go back there, no..."
"I want to help," Faith offered.
"No," Dawn repeated, "No, no, no. You can't help. No one can help."
"Let me try," Faith put in, "What did Angelus tell you?"
"Go away!" Dawn exclaimed, tears filling her eyes once more, "Go! I'm not going to go back!" Faith took a deep breath as the door to the room opened and a nurse entered.
"I see your awake," she said cheerily, "Sorry Ms. Summers, but you'll have to leave you sister for a while. She can't get too riled up." Faith nodded and stood, leaving the room. The nurse came into the room, checked Dawn's vital stats and left, left Dawn alone.
It was dark. The blinds on the window had been shut as were the lights. Dawn almost wished Faith was still here. Fear engulfed her as she felt her heart in her throat. Flashes of Angelus hitting her, sinking his teeth into her neck came to her and Dawn's hand whipped to where the bandages on her neck were. Tears were now streaming down her face as his words echoed in her brain. You were the reason Buffy wasn't there. The reason they had to mourn. The reason Tara almost died. You hurt them. "No!" Dawn echoed her words from earlier that night. Yes, you've caused them all pain. They hate you. They all do. "No, no, no," Dawn sobbed harder, "No, you're wrong."
"No Dawnie, I'm very, very right," the voice was no longer in her head, but in the room and Dawn looked up, up right into the eyes of Angelus grinning evilly down at her.
"You're not Angelus," Dawn murmured closing her eyes tightly and then consoled herself, "It's not Angelus, it's not Angelus."
"Aw, come on Dawnie," Angelus, the First, cackled, "Let's have a little fun!"
"You're not Angelus," she continued to chat blocking her ears and shaking her head profusely, "You're not Angelus."
You've been a bad girl for a very long time.
The words were in her head again, and Dawn squeezed her eyes shut tighter trying to chase the voice away, cover it up with happy memories. Like the time Xander had babysat her when Joyce was working and Buffy patrolling, they had played a board game, Monopoly, and she had won. Xander had made her laugh a lot that night, cracking jokes incessantly. The voice didn't dissipate though. It echoed through her memory. She tried another memory, one where Faith had come into her room late one night, the first time that she had snuck in, she had helped Dawn climb out the window and headed to where Faith was supposed to patrol that night. Faith had fought and then let her stake the first Vampire they came across that night, Dawn's first Vampire, and Dawn knew that eventually she'd be able to fight one on her own. The voice only became louder as Dawn remembered through.
You hid things from Buffy about Faith. You knew she was meeting the mayor. She told you everything. You could've stopped her. Prevented all the horrible things she had done to Buffy and the others, to Angel. When Faith was out of her coma, after she came to visit, you could've told Buffy. Then when she told you she was going to get back at Buffy, switch bodies. You wanted her to, didn't you? You wanted Faith to be Buffy, your sister? You wanted Buffy to rot away in jail in Faith's place didn't you Dawn?
"You're not Angelus," Dawn muttered aloud, "You can't make me believe you are. You're the First. You're the First. You're not Angelus. Go away. Leave me alone."
"I can't fool you" the voice was aloud again and had changed and Dawn dared to open her eyes. Angelus was gone, morphed into the form of Buffy
"Go away!" Dawn hissed at the figure, "Go away! Go back where you came from!"
"I can't," The first shook its head, "You're the reason I'm here. You killed me. If you had never come here I wouldn't have had to die, to be resurrected. Look at all that you've done."
"You're not real," Dawn quivered, "You can't hurt me."
"Oh, but I can," It smirked, "In more ways that you can imagine. Just think of how much better the world would be if you had never existed. Buffy would never have died again, Tara wouldn't have gotten her brains sucked out and nearly died and all the bad things that followed wouldn't have happened. You hurt everything you touch. Even our mother."
"Shut up," Dawn whispered fiercely at the image of her sister, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Dawn's face sparkled with tears and she choked on her sobs as the image of Buffy in a flash was gone and her mother stood in her place. Dawn's eyes widened at the image of Joyce. "NO!" she yelled despite the pain that ran through her like knives, "YOU CAN'T USE HER! YOU CAN'T BE HER!" She threw a pillow towards the figure but it sailed through. The door to her room swung open, a panicked Xander stood next to Faith. Dawn pointed to where the First had stood in the form of Joyce, but it was already gone.
I wish you had never exited.
The words spoken in Joyce's voice rang through her head as she melted into her bed and cried, the pain overpowering her. Xander had rushed over to her side and carefully pulled her into an embrace. Faith stood at the door in fighter's stance and looked about, ready to pounce on whatever had made Dawn cry and yell but the room was empty beside the three of them and Faith knew instantly what had been here. The First. She stepped out of the room leaving Xander to comfort Dawn and headed to the Pay Phones.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(The Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles.)
Willow was seated on a couch next to Spike. She hugged one of her knees as tears streamed down her cheeks freely. She did nothing to prevent them. She had to cry, wanted to cry. She had gotten off the phone with Buffy not long ago, pained by the fact that she could not bring herself to tell the slayer, her best friend, that her sister was in the hospital. The white-blonde haired Vampire next to her looked just as stricken as she. Willow knew how protective Spike was of Dawn. She also knew that Dawn wasn't a defenceless child anymore. Everyone tried to protect her from the world, shield her from evil and Willow realized that they had only pushed her closer towards it. Maybe, just maybe if they had let her help out more often then just telling her that she was too young, maybe things would've been different, maybe Dawn wouldn't have been so curious about the evil of the world. Maybe, if Buffy had just been a little less protective, let her help out more than with bed arrangement and research Dawn wouldn't have wanted to come to LA with them, wouldn't have been lying in a hospital bed on the verge of death beaten and battered because of Angelus. Of course, Xander had told her that if Dawn wouldn't have come with them Faith would not have broken out of jail and they would not have asked her to.
The loud ringing of the telephone echoed through the quiet hotel and Willow could not bring herself to get up to answer it. After all, this was not her home. Angel and the others worked here, lived here, and it was not her place to answer their phone. Also, she dreaded that it might be Buffy again, demanding that Willow tell her what was wrong. After a while the ringing stopped and Willow thought that the person might've hung up. Then she realized Fred had managed to retrieve the phone and was handing it over to her. Willow shook her head profusely and nodded over to Spike. Fred sadly held the phone out to Spike but before the Vampire could answer it Willow decided she would talk to whoever it was on the other line. It could be Faith with news on Dawn. The Vampire cursed her under his breath as he sat back to listen to Willow's end of the conversation as the titian haired witch pressed the receiver to her ear. "Hello?" she asked the phone.
"We need to get her out." It was Faith.
"Dawn?" Willow questioned knowing very well that it was Dawn Faith was speaking of, "Why?"
"The damn First showed up," Faith explained, "Xander and I were not there in the room. The kid's hysterical."
"Do you know anymore of what Angelus told her?" Willow wondered, "I mean if the First is showing up it must be in his form and torturing her he same way Angelus did."
"She wouldn't tell me," Faith informed, "All I know is we need to get her out before the doctors decide she's insane. B won't be any happier if Dawn gets locked up in the loony bin."
"How are we going to get her out?" Willow wondered, "She's hooked up to all those machines and she's lost a lot of blood..."
"I don't know," Faith replied, "Talk to that Gunn guy and see what he thinks. We can't take her back to Sunnydale but at least to the hotel."
"Alright," Willow nodded to herself.
"And Red, see if Angel will tell you what happened," Faith added before she hung up.
Willow hung up the phone right after Faith did and noticed Spike was watching her expectantly. Willow ignored him for the time being and went looked over to Fred who was still looming near-by. "Where's Gunn?" she asked.
"I think he's in the basement with Conner and Wesley dismantling Angelus' cage," Fred replied. Willow smiled appreciatively at Fred and walked towards the Basement.
Spike was right behind her. "The bloody First visited the Niblet?" he coaxed.
"Yes," Willow nodded, "And Faith wants us to help get Dawn out of there before they locked her up in an insane asylum for seeing things." They Willow raced down the stairs and came in sight of Conner, Wesley and Gunn in the far corner of the basement carefully placing the dismantled pieces of the cage on the floor. Wesley was the first one to notice her and Spike.
"Any news on Dawn?" he wondered. Willow nodded.
"The First visited her when Xander and Faith weren't in the room," Willow told them. Conner and Gunn just took in the news unsure of what to make of this, Wesley on the other hand cursed under his breath. Willow continued after a moment, "Dawn's hysterical and Faith wants us to try and sneak her out before they lock her up for seeing things. She told me to come to Gunn, ask if he had any ideas."
"I'll do what I can," Gunn acknowledged. Willow nodded and turned to Spike who was seemed to be sniffing around.
"Bloody Hell," The Vampire cursed, "There's a bloody dead body in here."
"That's Lilah," Fred said from behind them, "She's this evil lawyer from Wolfram and Hart, Evil Cordelia killed her."
"Mind if I 'ave a taste?" Spike wondered, "Wouldn't want the blood to spoil." Wesley glared at the Vampire who approached Lilah's body in the opposite corner of the room. Spike didn't drink though; he was about to morph into his Vamp face when something in his peripheral vision caught his eye, a talisman type thing in Lilah's hand. Spike curiously moved over and pried it from the dead woman's hand. "What's this trinket?" he asked, directing the question towards the ex-watcher.
"I-I had no idea she was even holding anything," Wesley admitted as he took the necklace talisman from Spike. Fred bounced over and looked at the thing over Wesley's shoulder.
"It could be for some sort of ritual," She offered, "I've never seen anything like it before. What was Lilah doing with it though?"
"No clue," Wesley muttered, "But I'm going to find out." He slinked towards the stairs not taking his eyes off of the talisman and began up, Fred followed close behind. Spike muttered something under his breath that Willow couldn't hear.
"I'm gonna head over to the hospital," Gunn announced, "See how the place works." Within seconds Gunn had also disappeared up the stairs. Willow, Conner and Spike were left alone in the basement and Willow remembered what else Faith had wanted her to do. She looked between Angel's son and grand-sire and sighed. Hopefully, if she left these two alone Conner wouldn't end up staking Spike. She saw the look of extreme hatred in Conner's eyes as he stared towards Spike.
"I've got to go see Angel," she finally said, "Spike, if you get staked things won't be any better for us, so play nice. Conner, Buffy kind of relies on Spike for help and well, things aren't looking good for us right now, so if it can be avoided don't stake Spike."
"I can't promise anything," Conner growled, not taking his eyes off the white-blonde haired Vamp. Willow sighed and hesitated a moment before leaving them alone in the basement. It wouldn't be a big deal for her if Spike was staked, but Buffy needed Spike for some reason or another and Willow had to trust the Slayer's judgement.
Willow made her way through the hotel walking towards where she had been told was Angel's room. The window's all had curtains over them to keep the sunlight out and the beautiful hotel was dark and shadowed, perfect for a Vampire. Willow remembered Angel's mansion, the lonely, gloominess of it all and was glad that Angel seemed to have his friends near-by now, that he was not alone. She reached the door to Angel's room in the large hotel and listened for noise inside, she heard the faint voices of Cordelia Chase and Angel conversing inside and Willow paused a moment before knocking lightly on the door.
Seconds after the knock the door opened slowly revealing Cordy to her who smiled slightly before opening the door the rest of the way to let Willow into the room. Willow entered and immediately saw Angel; he was sitting in the corner of the room a tortured expression covering his features. Willow felt a pang in her heart upon seeing Angel this way and quietly followed Cordelia over to where Angel was. He looked worse than before, that was the first thing Willow noted when she came in full view of Angel's face and she wondered if the First had visited Angel as well since or before its visit to Dawn. "Angel," she whispered, kneeling beside the Vampire, "The doctors say that Dawn's going to be fine."
"She won't be," Angel said simply, "They don't know anything."
"She's awake now," Willow informed, "A little shaken up due to a visit from the first but she's awake."
"It'll keep coming," Angel muttered, "It won't stop until she's dead."
"Angelus is gone," Cordelia was next to Willow now, "He's inside of you but he's gone. He can't hurt Dawn anymore."
"Not Angelus," Angel told them, "It wants her dead."
"The First?" Willow inquired.
"Yes," Angel nodded, "It wants Dawn dead."
"Why?" Willow wanted to know.
"I-I don't know," Angel admitted. Willow tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear contemplating what Angel had just told her. She didn't understand why the First would want Dawn dead, what it could possibly gain from killing the sister of the slayer. Dawn had once been The Key to the Universe but Buffy had sacrificed herself so Dawn could be normal. Why was the First suddenly so interested in Dawn? Cordelia was now talking to Angel, trying to coax him to leave the room and see the others. Willow didn't hear Angel's response; she was too deeply buried in her thoughts.
Finally, she spoke again, "Angel, Faith wanted me to ask you what happened with Angelus and Dawn."
"I can't tell you," Angel seemed to try to slip further into the corner at Willow's question.
"Angel, we need to know," it was Cordelia who spoke now, "If this First person is trying to kill Dawn and can take form of any dead person it's probably using what Angelus said against her. We need to know if we're going to help Dawn."
"Please Angel," Willow added after Cordelia was done. Angel looked between the two women and shook his head.
"Angel, Gunn and Faith are working together with Xander to get Dawn out of the hospital," Willow enlightened, "They need to get Dawn out before another visit from the First happens and the doctors decide she's crazy. They're going to bring her here. If the First shows up we need to know what to say to Dawn to convince her it's not true."
"It won't only come as me," Angel said, "It'll come as Buffy and Dawn like it came to me. I-I can't tell you what Angelus said, it'll bring him too close to the surface and I don't want to feel what he did to her anymore than I already do. I won't do it."
Willow didn't know what else to say. She saw the look on Angel's face and knew she better not press the issue. She got up and headed towards the door, Cordelia lingered behind with Angel, her eyes pleading with him to get up. Finally, Angel did so and he and Cordelia followed Willow into the lobby where Lorne was talking with Fred and Wesley, Spike and Conner appeared from the basement stairs, both not speaking. Willow examined each of Angel's LA crew, excluding Gunn, as they looked up at Angel descending the stairs. Angel was not looking at them though, he was looking at Spike.
"What've you guys got on the trinket Spike found in Lilah's hand?" Willow asked, ignoring Angel and Spike.
"Nothing as of yet," Wesley admitted. Angel's gaze had shifted away from Spike as he made his way over to Wesley and looked at what he was holding.
"I bet Wolfram and Hart would know," he stated simply, sounding like the old Angel for the first time since his soul was returned.
"We can't exactly just barge in and demand to know what it is," Cordelia pointed out, "And anyway, didn't the Beast destroy the Wolfram and Hart offices?"
"Yeah, and Lilah was the only one who survived apparently," Fred replied.
"And my evil self had to go and kill her," Cordelia muttered, "Just great. Maybe there's something at the books at my apartment. Plus I think I better check in and pay the rent seeing as I was missing for the past few months."
"Need any company?" Willow wondered.
"Sure," Cordelia smiled. Willow followed Cordelia out of the hotel and into the street of LA as they headed towards Cordelia apartment.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(At the Hospital, In Dawn's room.)
Dawn has quieted down slightly since her outburst earlier but she wouldn't let Xander leave her alone in the room. She clung to him, forgetting about the all the tubes and wires that were attached to her and cried. Xander's shirt was stained with her tears but he did not mind. At least she was awake. He smoothed his hand over her hair and down her back trying to comfort her, trying to tell her it was all going to be alright. Truth was, he didn't know that. Faith had returned to the room but left seconds ago with Gunn to examine the hospital's staff and their observance of the rooms, specifically Dawn's. Faith had told him the plan and Xander was all for it. Dawn needed to get out of here, this hospital.
Something seemed to have startled Dawn even more and her sobs grew louder, Xander glanced around the room quickly but remembered that the First could appear to whomever it liked and everyone else in the room would be oblivious to its presence. "Shh, Dawn," he whispered into her ear, rocking her in his arms, "It'll be alright. I'm here. I'll take care of you, I promise."
"Xander," Dawn moaned, "Xander make it stop. Make it go away."
"You have to tell me what Dawn," Xander told her, "What is it?"
"The First," Dawn groaned, "Xander make it leave. It keeps coming back and making me remember. I don't want to remember."
"Is it here Dawn?" Xander asked, "Is it here now?"
"Yes," Dawn gulped, "It's here, just make it go away!" Dawn buried her head into Xander's chest. Her shoulder's shaking violently and he felt her warm tears seep through his shirt. Xander wrapped both arms around the teen and held her tightly to him.
"Dawnie, I promise you that I won't let it hurt you," Xander assured her, "I promise you Dawn, I promise you I will protect you."
Just like you protected me from Angelus?
The voice was in his head first, Dawns' calm voice and then it became more real; echoing throughout the room until 'Dawn' was standing right there in front of the bed, smirking. Xander's grip on Dawn tightened and this gesture seemed only to amuse the First more. "Come on Xander," it chuckled, "You can't protect me. You couldn't protect me from Glory, or Angelus. How are you supposed to protect her from the First? You can't even protect yourself. Whenever you're in trouble you run to your little slayer and hide behind her until she kills whatever it is that was chasing you."
"XANDER!" he heard Dawn's muffled shriek and he wondered if she was hearing this or remembering Angelus' torture. He ignored the first standing there and focused on Dawn, focused on comforting her.
"Dawn, don't listen to what it says," he ordered, "It's not true whatever it's saying it's a lie. Don't listen Dawn."
"But you don't even know what it's telling me," the First, in Dawn's form, reminded him, "You don't even know what Angelus told me. You can't help me, you can't help yourself and you certainly can't help Buffy. In the end, even if Buffy and those stupid potentials manage to survive and get rid of me, I'll be dead and you'll be dead. Even if Buffy lets us help, lets us into the fight, even at what she thinks is the safest area we're going to die. The potentials couldn't fight the Tuork-Ahn; you think we even have a chance. We're as good as dead."
Dawn whimpered again from deep within his grasp and Xander tried still to block the first out. He knew what it was saying was likely true but he wouldn't put it into his head that it was right. He had to be strong. He had to know recognize reality from the evil and he had the real Dawn right here in his arms. He wasn't going to listen to the being of evil; he had to keep his mind focused on the positive. "Hey, Dawn, remember that time when Buffy was out patrolling and your mom was at the art gallery working, you had just moved to Sunnydale and Willow and I got roped into babysitting?" Xander encountered, he felt Dawn nod from in his grasp and he continued, "You didn't know that Buffy was the slayer then so Wills and I had to use code when we talked about slaying. You were so bored, sitting around watching television and refusing to go to sleep until your mom got home. Then, Willow got had to go home because her parents had called and we were left all alone. You had jumped onto the couch next to me and said 'Xander, wanna get married?' I laughed and said you were too young but you insisted that you weren't and leaned over and gave me a kiss."
The First was still there and watched them amusedly; he could feel what it was thinking. Thinking how lame they were trying to block it out with memories. It seemed to work though because Dawn sat up in her bed, hardly seeing the first nearby and managed a small smile. "A-And then Buffy got home," she hiccupped, "And y-you pretended that nothing happened. When Buffy tried to get me to bed I told her you had to tuck me in because we were going to get married one day. F-from then on I followed you around the house every time you came to visit."
"Too bad they're not real memories," the First had taken Glory's form then, "I mean, you're not even a real person remember. The Monks made you into the slayer's little sister pre-packed with memories and everything to keep you away from me."
"Dawn, those memories are as real as you and me," Xander promised, "You aren't the Key. You're Dawn Summers, sister of Buffy Summers and daughter of Hank and Joyce Summers."
"Xander, keep remembering," Dawn coaxed, "Keep remembering the good times, please."
"Alright," Xander nodded, "There was this one time, you probably don't remember, but it was the day you and Buffy moved here with Joyce. The moving trucks were moving everything in and Buffy was apparently inside helping Joyce because I didn't see her then. I only saw her on her first day at good old Sunnydale High. Anyway, you were sitting outside on the steps, head in hands, pouting the way only you could pout. I was passing by, just walking through going to visit Jesse and Willow. I was looking at the house wondering who was moving in and I spotted you. You looked up and for just a second we caught each other's gazes. I knew right away you were someone special."
"I don't remember that," Dawn mused, she had calmed down quite a bit and now the tears had stopped streaming and her breaths were evening out, "I remember moving in, but I don't remember seeing you there that day."
"I do," Xander smiled, "I remember clear as day that pouty little face, because you still have it down pat, and your big blue wide eyes, unknowing of what evil crept through the night, staring right into mine from down the driveway. Right then Dawn, I loved everything about you."
"You didn't even know who I was," Dawn pointed out, mesmerized by Xander's story. For a moment her pain and sadness was shut out as she watched Xander crack a grin and pull her frail body closer to his.
"I know," he whispered into her ear and Dawn could no longer see him, her head leaning against his shoulder, "But there was something in your eyes and movements that told me everything about you. I know it sounds corny, but that's how I felt." Dawn smiled and rested her eyes. Xander kissed her forehead and rested his head against hers. He knew that if the doctors or nurses entered the room he would be in trouble for being on the bed and allowing Dawn to be as she was. She was no longer feeling the pain because of the pain killers that had been given to her but her body was banged up and she was supposed to be resting. Xander didn't care though. He had to take care of her, protect her, and right now this was the only way he knew how.
There was a knock on the door as it slowly opened and Faith entered. Xander looked up into the dark haired slayer's eyes and knew it was time to get Dawn out of here. "Dawnie, you still feeling okay?" he questioned, "The pain still dulled?"
"Yeah," Dawn quietly said, nodding and looking up over to Faith.
"Alright, we're going to get you out of here," he announced, "We're taking you to the hotel. Then, when you're well enough we're going home."
"The First show up again?" Faith wondered. Sadly Xander nodded remembering the First's words to him. "Damn," Faith breathed, "Gunn's got the car ready outside and we convinced one of the nurses to help us out. She's a friend of Gunn's."
"Alright," Xander nodded. Faith wheeled in a wheel chair and they placed Dawn carefully into it. Xander took charge in wheeling Dawn in the wheel chair and carefully followed Faith's every movement. They met a nurse near the entrance who got Faith to sign some papers before she exited the hospital and flirted with the buff guard out front, making sure he was facing away from where Xander and Dawn were to escape. When Faith gave him the go ahead Xander quickly ushered Dawn's wheel chair to the van that Gunn was waiting beside. The two men carefully lifted Dawn into the passenger's seat making sure to take care around the ribs. Once Dawn was in Xander climbed in beside her and Gunn shoved the folded wheel chair into the van. Getting into the driver's seat Gunn directed the car towards where Faith waited the door on the side open. The slayer jumped into the van and closed the door as Gunn continued in the direction of the Hyperion hotel.
They had done it, Dawn was out and safe. For now.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(Cordelia's apartment, Los Angeles.)
Cordelia and Willow entered Cordelia's apartment a little later and Cordelia had taken a deep breath of the stale air in the apartment. All the windows were closed and Dennis, being a ghost, hadn't needed to open any of them. Cordelia quickly went around the apartment opening a few windows to let the fresh air in. "Dennis?" she called out, looking for her roommate. Willow frowned confusedly at Cordelia.
"I thought you lived alone," she stated.
"I do," Cordelia assured her, a slam of something coming from the kitchen indicated that Dennis had heard her, "Well, mostly. Dennis lives here too, he's a ghost."
"Oh," Willow nodded in understanding, "I'm guessing that was him in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," Cordelia nodded, "Gets a bit temperamental sometimes." There was another loud bang and Cordelia winced. "Sorry Dennis," she called out into the apartment. The light flashed on. Dennis was in the room now. "This is Willow," Cordelia introduced, "She's a friends from back home in Sunnydale. We're here to get some books for Wesley; we're looking for information on a Talisman necklace thing we found." Two books sailed over from the bookshelf. Cordelia took one from the air and Dennis handed the other to Willow.
"Thanks," the witch muttered, flipping open the cover of the book and looking through it.
"Sorry I haven't been around," Cordelia mentioned to Dennis, "I kind of ascended for a while, worked to control my powers." The sound of grinding coffee beans from the kitchen let Cordelia know that Dennis was happy for her to be home and also that he knew they were in for quite a time researching. Cordelia sighed and sat down on the coach, Willow joined her moment later reading through some text in the book Dennis had given her.
"Well, this is not it," Willow announced slamming the book shut, "And that's was the only thing that resembled what we were looking for."
"I've got nothing yet," Cordelia sighed, flipping another page and a picture popped out at here, "Wait, I think there's something." Willow peeped over her shoulder.
"That's it!" She exclaimed and read the sentences under the picture, her eyes widened, "Oh my goddess," the witch murmured.
"We better get his back to the hotel," Cordelia shared the awe tone that Willow had. The two grabbed what they needed and called their goodbyes to Dennis before heading to the hotel as quickly as possible. They had big news.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(The Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles.)
The door to the Hyperion swung open. Angel and Spike immediately stepped away from the light that poured in. Books were scattered all around the group and the Talisman was placed in the middle so they could all see. Gun followed by Faith, Xander and Dawn in a wheel chair entered the hotel and quickly shut the door behind them. Faith looked around, amusedly, at the gang doing the research and cracked, "Honey, I'm home."
"Where's Willow?" Dawn wondered, looking at each one present in the room, but as he gaze fell on Angel she quickly looked down at the cast on her arm and shuddered remembering how easily it had broken under the Vampire's wrath.
"She went out with Cordy," Fred informed, "They should be back soon." The shy girl had joined them at the door and smiled sympathetically down at the teen. She had known fear. Fred had leaved fear every day when she had been transported to Plea. She didn't know what it was like to be tortured by someone you trusted, but she knew fear. She could hardly imagine having Angelus do to her what he did to Dawn.
"Okay," the girl nodded, not taking her eyes off the cast on her arm.
"We should probably get her to a room," Xander suggested, "Before the pain killers ware off. She's not supposed to be out of bed."
"Oh, I can take you to one she can use," Fred volunteered. Xander looked to Faith a second; both knowing that they couldn't very well carry the wheel chair all the safely with Dawn in it and they had to be wary of Dawn's broken ribs.
"Xander, lock the wheels," Faith ordered, coming up with a plan. Xander followed instruction and leaned over, locking the wheelchair's wheels. "Alright," Faith declared once he had finished, "You take one wheel and the arm rest, I'll get the other."
"Be careful," Xander instructed and the dark haired slayer rolled her eyes at the comment taking her side of the chair. Slowly the two followed Fred up the stairs with the wheel chair as Dawn groaned, informing them that the pain was returning. Pain more excruciating than when she had woken up, her legs, her ribs, her arm, her neck, it all ached.
They reached the top soon enough and Fred opened a door to one of the rooms closest to the stairs. They brought Dawn in and carefully helped her into the bed. They drew the curtains open, Dawn not wanting to be in the dark, and watched the dust rise in the rays of light. Xander took a seat in the empty wheel chair and Faith at the end of the bed. Fred left the three alone understanding that this was something she was not a part of. She closed the room door behind her and rejoined the group downstairs.
Back downstairs Willow and Cordelia had entered the hotel in a frenzy slamming the book they had discovered the talisman in down in front of Wesley. Angel took this moment to retreat back to his room and Spike slunk forward to see what the two women had discovered. The musty old smell of the book wafted through the air and for the first time, Cordelia and Willow became aware of it and stepped back. "Wow, good thing I never opened this before now," Cordelia put in.
"Interesting," Wesley said as he read the text, "According to this, this might be exactly what you need in Sunnydale to trap the first, or destroy it."
"What was Lilah doing with it then?" Gunn wondered, picking the Talisman up.
"How does it work though?" Willow jumped in, overlapping her question with Gunn's. Spike remained silent, just watching. Wesley looked from Gunn to Willow, unsure of what either had said. They words had meshed together to sound like some foreign demon language that no one could understand.
"One at a time, please," he begged.
"Sorry," Willow blushed, looking down at her feet.
"Go ahead," Gunn offered the red head as he placed the talisman back down.
"How does it work?" Willow repeated, her eyes were now focused solely on the object the dead woman had clutched nearly a half hour ago in her hand. She could almost feel the power emanating from it, but she refused to tap into such power afraid of how it could affect her. Wesley seemed to catch onto this look and quickly began to explain the talisman's function.
"It isn't said where it originated or who created it," Wesley explained, "But it does say that it can be used by a souled creature, a champion and the slayer. When used it can trap the First in another dimension where it can do no harm, or destroy it completely. It is apparently very dangerous though. It doesn't exactly say how one goes about using it though."
"Can it be any souled creature?" Cordelia wondered, "Or a Vampire with a soul?"
"It said Champion as well Cordelia," Wesley pointed out, "Angel is both a souled Vampire and a Champion."
"B ain't going to be Ms. Sunshine about that," Faith had crept into the room at some point and was standing on the stairs observing them.
"Well, it doesn't look like anyone else can do it," Wesley sighed, looking over the text in the book once again.
"How 'bout me?" Spike wondered, speaking up, "I'm not a bloody champion, but I got the soul."
"It could work," Willow shrugged, "I mean Spike could be considered a Champion with the amount of times he's tried to save the world, with and without soul. And I think Buffy will be depending on Angel as a second front. If anything happens to her she'll need hi to be there."
"I still don't know if I'd trust surfer Vamp over there," Faith shrugged, plucking the Talisman from the table, "I mean, didn't the First use him to do its dirty work?"
"The First doesn't control me slayer," Spike growled.
"Hey, just making a point," Faith shrugged, open armed.
"I don't know." Willow chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, "Faith does have a point. I mean, maybe it wouldn't be a good idea after all."
"Look, I'm not the Slayer in charge," Faith replaced the talisman on the table and backed towards where the kitchen was located, "That's B. I'm just along for the ride." Faith ducked into the kitchen and left the six others behind.
"I guess Buffy will decide when we get back," Willow shrugged, "I'm going to run up and tell Xander about what we found out and check on Dawnie." With that Willow raced up the hotel stairs, followed by Spike, and left the Fang Gang to reflect over all that was happening.
(After Sunset.)
Noise filled Dawn's ears as she slowly opened her eyes. The room was dark what little light that was left in the sky cast shadows through the room. Dawn groaned. She was alone. She could hear Faith and Xander among the mass of voices downstairs. The noise was faint and Dawn could only distinguish certain voices at certain times yet all their tones were the same, conspiratorial. Dawn's gaze flickered over to the light switch, knowing what pain would follow getting up out of bed. Yet, the mass of pain was better than having to endure however long it took Faith or Xander to return in the dark.
Slowly, Dawn managed to get herself into a sitting position, legs over the edge of her bed, the cold of the floor running up her legs and engulfing her body. Taking a deep breath, Dawn heaved herself off the bed with her good arm, flinching slightly at the pain that ensued. She took a second to center herself so she wouldn't tumble over with the unfamiliarity of standing up. Although it had been twenty-four hours since she had last stood, it seemed like longer, and the sprained ankle ached under the pressure of her body. One wobbly step after another Dawn got used to having to limp and the sharp pain that ran up and down her body with ever movement. At least she was not dead. Reaching the light switch Dawn triumphantly flicked it on and grinned with pride wanting to jump with joy, but she restrained herself, she was alone and if something happened to her no one was there to witness and take action. Turning around Dawn's grin faded as she realized she wasn't alone after all. The image of her mother, Joyce Summers, stood grinning back at her. "Well look at you," it chuckled, "Getting better already. Haven't gotten the point have you?"
Dawn's gritted her teeth angrily, "You can't use her!"
"But I can," the First took a step towards Dawn and lifted her mother's hand to touch her cheek. Despite the knowledge that the First could not touch or hurt her Dawn stepped away.
"You can't," Dawn hissed, her eyes trying to see through the First, trying to get it to dissolve, "Be someone else."
Her mother's face disappeared and Angelus' appeared, smirking as usual. His tall, dark form loomed in front of her exactly as it had just the night before. The spark of evil, of sheer pleasure in her pain was dancing in his brown eyes and Dawn flinched. This amused the First further as it took a step, filling the space between the two. Dawn's whole body tensed, aware of what had come next when it had been the real Angelus, and although she knew that this one wouldn't hurt her or touch her Dawn's backed into the wall behind her, forgetting about her ankle as when she stepped she put her weight on her sprained ankle. Dawn winced and then her arm touched the knob, a door, she was leaning on a door. Almost certain that the door led to the outside hall Dawn stepped forward and swung the door opened. It was the bathroom, but nonetheless Dawn limped into it. The First followed.
"You can't hide," the First chanted, Angelus' voice ringing in her ears, "I'll always find you, no matter what."
"You're not real," Dawn whispered fiercely, "You can't hurt me."
"Then why are you so afraid of me?" It wondered, its form coming closer and closer to her and Dawn shrunk again the bathroom wall, in a space between the sink and the toilet. "You know Dawnie there's only one way to get away," The First smiled wryly, "One way that I will never find you, it's the same way you can stop hurting everyone you love. All you have to do is go, take that razor blade in the cabinet and stop living. No one will miss you."
"You're wrong," Dawn hissed, tears stinging her eyes, "Xander loves me. He loves me, he told me. And Faith."
"Is that what you think?" the First shifted, becoming Buffy, "You think they really love you? You're the slayer's sister; they have to be nice to you. Have to make you feel loved. I don't know why, I don't even love you." Dawn tensed up. She watched her sister's lips move, heard Buffy's voice float around her, wrapping its words around her whole body and Dawn's eyes wavered to the cabinet above the sink. The Pain, the pain would go away if she did what it said. The physical and mental pain would be gone, forever. "That's it Dawnie," the First coaxed, reading her mind, "Think of all the good it would do. You would be gone and everyone will be happy."
Dawn was hardly aware of her legs moving. She stood up and stared on the mirror that was the door to the cabinet. Her face scratched and bruised, stained with tears and her hair hanging just below her shoulders was a bushy mess. Her good arm reached towards the cabinet door and pulled it open. It was cluttered with old toiletries and Dawn caught sight of the blade. She reached to it and picked it up; her hands shook as she pulled it out and knocked the toilet paper holder down, hard, on the floor with a loud clang against the tiles. Her legs wobbled beneath her and she fell to the floor, kneeling down on the hard, cold floor. The cold seeped through the hospital dress she had been given and Dawn held her good arm out. The First still stood over her, whispering in the voices of her dead loved.
I Hate You.
I wish you had never existed.
It's your fault I had to die.
I never loved you.
Her Mother's voice came last as everyone else whispered their foul words. Joyce's voice was the loudest though.
You aren't even my daughter. You're not real. You should never have existed.
Dawn squeezed her eyes shut, the tears slipping through and dripping down her cheek and she held the blade lightly against her skin. She opened her eyes and a single tear dripped onto her arm. Dawn's lower lip quivered and she pierced her skin with the corner of the blade; crimson blood appeared around its edges. Dawn Summers took a deep breath and stared at the perfect blade that she pressed against her skin. She exhaled and then inhaled once more as she prepared to die, prepared to drag the blade across her vein. Her muscles tensed and her senses became acutely aware of everything as her fingers slowly dragged the bade closer and closer to the knots of veins on her wrists a perfect line of crimson blood appeared and began to drip down her arm. Dawn stared at the blade as it moved and in one more tug the vein puncture her cluster of veins and she would wait for death. Dawn stopped a second, and the First's whispers became louder and louder, her grip tightened on the blade and the muscles in arms prepared to pull...
To Be Continued...
