Title: A Dança
Summary: "I Hope You Dance" (Let's say its an epilogue to 'Supernova' – except its not!) Hints at N/S *Complete*
A/N: The Lee Ann Wormack song "I Hope You Dance" inspired this story. It is very brief, and complete! Let's say it's an epilogue to my first story Supernova, except it doesn't really fit the definition of an epilogue. Its Grissom's thoughts following his conversation with Sara in Supernova (which means its not G/S – hope that doesn't offend you. It will, instead, allude to both N/S and G/C.)
A brief summary of Supernova for those who haven't read it: Supernova followed Sara through my interpretation of her reaction to the events in "Playing With Fire."
Thanks for reading. Feedback is always appreciated – but certainly not an obligation. I owe a huge thanks to those who reviewed Supernova: A Bloom, SAR, adpi24 and MissyJane – your encouragement means a lot to me.
Wishing you peace and happiness ~ Lynn
***
"I
hope you still feel small
when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever
one door closes
I
hope one more opens,
Promise
me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And
when you get the choice to sit it out or dance...
I hope you
dance..."
Lee Ann
Womack ~ I Hope You Dance ~ I Hope You Dance (2000)
***
"I need to go," she said softly, but clearly. "Please."
Grissom stared at Sara as she stood in the doorway. Her eyes spoke volumes. They pleaded for understanding; a feeling he knew was reflected in his gaze. He nodded, knowing that he needed to let her go. It wouldn't be fair to toy with her, simultaneously pulling her closer and pushing her further away. He hadn't even been able to tell her about the operation. How could he be honest about his deepest feelings when he couldn't even tell her he was in surgery?
She caught his eyes one last time before she turned to leave. Her eyes reminded him of a sepia photograph. They wore a timeless expression that emanated class and intellect. He hoped that he interpreted the emotions playing across her features as acceptance, gratitude and understanding. Anger, fear or pain were emotions he had difficultly managing in himself, and this made it harder to deal with in others.
The light from the hallway once again streamed into his office as Sara left. His eyes followed her footsteps and then her shadow down the hall towards the parking lot, childishly hoping she'd turn around. When he turned her invitation to dinner down, he said he wasn't interested. When he let her walk out of his door without an argument, he said he wouldn't fight. He now had no right to ask her to wait for him. He wasn't ready for a relationship with Sara. Maybe in another universe a relationship would have been possible, but in this one the stars weren't aligned.
Grissom tried to return his attention to the paper work piled deep on his desk. Catherine never was one for the menial or precise tasks, and she certainly hadn't done anything beyond necessary while he was off. Catherine thrived on the abstract, delving with ease into the chaotic motivations and emotions of killers, kidnappers and arsonists. He needed the precision and perfection of order, and that meant he understood crime scenes and bodies better than almost anyone else in the country. It did mean, as well, that paperwork was a welcome task.
This time, however, he tossed the folders back onto the desk in frustration. Grissom relaxed into his chair, trying to focus on something pleasanter than his work or his love life – or rather lack of. Both these topics were making his head spin. His thoughts slowly turned to the last time he had visited with Catherine and Lindsay. He was trying to be there for Cath, but it was hard. He didn't know how to support her, but he certainly was making an effort.
The day after she was suspended, he took her a picnic dinner for Lindsey and her before he went to work. Cath had asked him to stay, but he declined. The dinner was meant to allow her to reconnect with Lindsey, not entertain him. He had promised to return on his break, and he kept his promise. Grissom smiled as he remembered watching Cath sing Lindsey to sleep.
***
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
***
Cath told him afterwards she wanted to impart some morality on Lindsey, to remind her that just because her life wasn't perfect that it couldn't be fun.
***
I hope you never
fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have
gone.)
***
Grissom wondered if Cath hadn't been trying to tell him something.
***
I hope you still feel small when you
stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have
gone.)
***
He wandered down the hall, pausing to look out of the window overlooking the parking lot. Traffic was busy, but his trained eyes still distinguished the shape of Tahoe as traffic streaked by. He wondered if it was Sara.
Grissom continued his walk throughout the lab. He didn't know where he was going, but eventually he came to Greg's lab. His desk was always a mess, Grissom thought absently. He approached Greg's desk, gazing at the photographs strewn across the back. Photos of the team. Warrick and Nick arguing about some sports team. Cath giving someone her best mother look. Sara laughing at something. Cath and himself. Sara flanked by Nick and Warrick on the break room coach. Cath and Warrick goofing around in the break room. Nick and Sara walking down the hall, Nick's arm casually resting on Sara's shoulders.
Grissom picked up the last photo, looking at Sara carefully. He noticed how happy she was. He replaced the frame in the same spot, always paying attention to the details. He probably should go home. He needed some sleep.
The locker room was unusually quiet. The dayshift was already busy working away. Grissom was pleased that he wasn't bothered by anyone looking for meaningless small talk. He just wanted to go home.
A ball of paper lay crumpled on the ground. He picked it up, noticing Nick's writing on the sheet.
***
Sara:
If you want, I'll be at the diner at 8:00am. I'd like your company.
Nick.
***
A smile slowly emerged on Grissom's face. It wasn't a happy smile, and it wasn't a sad smile. It was an expression of relief. She could move on.
He gazed over at her locker.
"I hope you dance," he said quietly, feeling slightly sentimental as he moved towards the door, his coat slung over his shoulder.
***
The End
Note: the title means "dance" in Portuguese.
