Chapter 6

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Peter tried to hide his lingering anger with his siblings and in-laws, but as time passed along, he overheard too many conversations or even passing remarks that told him the rest of the family just didn't believe he was really going to go through with marrying Christina. His ulcer slowly began to get worse, and Dr. Matsuyama provided him with a prescription and a gentle suggestion that he might think about seeing a psychiatrist. Peter took the medication, but he balked at the idea of going to a shrink. The only person he told was Christina. "Don't you think we should let your family know?" she asked worriedly. "Especially your brothers and sisters - after all, they're the ones who're getting to you."

"Nothing I say will get through to them," Peter said stonily. "I've always been Peter the Playboy to them, and I always will be."

"They can't possibly think that once we're married," Christina said sensibly.

"Just try them," Peter retorted. "Five years after the wedding they'll all probably be wondering how much longer it'll be before I announce I'm getting divorced."

"That's pretty harsh," Christina observed, massaging Peter's shoulders from behind his favorite old armchair. "Do you really think they'll go that far?"

"I wouldn't put it past them," said Peter.

Christina sighed gently and went on massaging for a little while; then she let him go and came around to kneel in front of him. "Peter," she said, "what if you tell your parents? They've always seemed supportive of you. Maybe they'll run interference with the others and make them understand that their skepticism is getting to you."

"I don't want Mom and Dad to worry about me," Peter insisted. "I'll deal with this on my own, honey. I've got to do it myself. Talking to a shrink about it isn't going to make it go away."

Christina considered the problem for a bit while Peter lost himself in a gloomy cloud. "What if we set the date for the soonest we can get everything set up?" she offered. "I don't see any point in waiting around. Seeing us actually saying the vows should be enough, I'm sure."

Peter shrugged. "I hope you're right," he mumbled.

Christina, determined, went doggedly on. "And if it doesn't, I'll find a way to make sure they change their minds. I told you before, I'm behind you all the way. We're going to turn your family into believers, and you'll never hear another discouraging word again."

Peter finally smiled. "Cindy was right - you're too good for me. I'm glad I waited for you . . . even if I had to date every woman in L.A. just trying to find you." Christina laughed and hugged him.

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They didn't make a family announcement as with their engagement; instead, they simply went ahead with their plans, letting only Scott and Cindy in on the date in advance. One Sunday morning, Peter and Christina met at Scott and Cindy's house so that Cindy could help Christina address wedding invitations. Scott had asked Peter to help him plant some shrubs in the front yard, and the two worked out front while the women sat at the kitchen table with fifty printed invitations, a few books of stamps, and glasses of lemonade.

They talked about little subjects now and then, until finally Cindy focused on Christina and asked point-blank, "What's wrong with Peter? He doesn't look too good, and I think he's losing weight. Is he sick or something?"

Christina's face took on a mask of anxiety. "Peter asked me not to tell the family because he wants to solve the problem himself . . . but I'm really worried about him, Cindy. He's got an ulcer."

Cindy stared at her. "How'd that happen?"

"Well . . . " For a long moment Christina wavered, then sighed and gave in to the urge to talk. "You've always helped us out, Cindy, and you're just about the best friend I've got. I know you and Scott are behind us. You see, he thinks the rest of the family's to blame." She told Cindy the whole story while Cindy sat with her eyes getting bigger and bigger.

"Holy cow," Cindy breathed slowly when Christina finished. "I can see why Peter's so upset. It's true - the whole family has that image of him. Even Mom and Dad figured Peter was just not the type of guy who'd ever settle down. But I had no idea it was getting to him so much. He probably didn't mind the image before. But now he's got you - I really think you're the one he's been looking for all these years - and he's done running around and dating every woman he sees." She scowled. "What I'd like to know is why nobody's willing to change their minds about him."

"That's what I'd like to find out, too," Christina agreed.

Cindy nodded firmly. "Well, in that case, we're going to find out. You and I are going to pay a little visit to everybody else in the family and set them straight - " Suddenly her expression changed and she gulped audibly, sitting up straight. " - as soon as I finish throwing up." She jumped up and raced for the bathroom. Christina grinned ruefully and addressed another invitation.

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It seemed to both girls that they got the same response no matter where they went. Bobby hooted with laughter and told them, "Peter's always had a problem deciding what he wants. Why should it be different for him now?"

Greg was sympathetic, but he and Nora were divided. "If you can get Pete down the aisle," Greg said, "more power to you, but I don't know how long he'll be content with being a husband."

"Don't listen to him," Nora said. "I wish you both the best of luck."

Phillip, too, thought Peter should be given the benefit of the doubt. But Jan offered, "I'll be more than happy to come to the wedding, but I honestly can't imagine Peter in a tux with a gold ring on his finger. Sorry, but his history just gets in the way."

"If you really think he's serious," Marcia said a little doubtfully, "then I hope you're right. Peter means well, but he has a long record of messing up. I mean, usually it's not intentional, but he was never sure of success before and I don't know why he is this time."

Cindy glared at her. "That's horrible, Marcia. Listen to yourself!"

Marcia turned red but only shook her head. "I just don't want him to hurt Christina, even accidentally. Everybody really likes her, and it'd be a shame if Peter finds another excuse to back out of that commitment."

Wally, of course, was right there listening. "Pete's a great guy," he said, "but it's hard for me to picture him all tied down. If he sets a date, then I'll wait to see if he goes down the aisle. If he says 'I do', then -- "

At that moment Christina reached her boiling point. "You're the worst one of all," she cried, "even worse than Bobby, and he was pretty bad. Not one of you has a shred of faith in Peter. If that's the way you persist in looking at it, you might find yourself alienating Peter one of these days. We're going to prove the whole lot of you wrong. You just wait, Wally Logan!" She fled the house.

Cindy paused only long enough to snap, "See what you've done now? I hope you guys are proud of yourselves." Then she rushed out after Christina, and found her sister-in-law leaning against the car with her head in her arms, crying.

"They'll be sorry," Cindy assured her. "Don't worry, Christina. Scott and I know you and Peter'll make it. You two are perfect for each other. You'll be together till you're both a hundred and twenty-seven, and you'll outlive them all."

"We're going to elope," Christina sobbed furiously. "That'll show them all. And when we do, maybe we won't come back, ever. Maybe we'll start a whole new life in Tahiti or Australia."

Cindy grinned to herself. "Hey, I don't blame you for feeling that way. But geez, if Peter could just see you now. Having you on his side is enough for him - who needs that truckload of doubting Thomases anyway? Come on, let's go on home. No, wait - let's go to my parents' house. I don't care what Peter says, they ought to know."

So they drove to the familiar house on Clinton Way, and Mike and Carol welcomed both girls in. "Where's Peter?" Carol asked Christina curiously. "Usually you two are inseparable."

"Actually, Peter doesn't know we're doing this, Mrs. Brady," Christina explained a little shyly, her eyes still aching from the tears she'd shed.

"What's the matter?" Mike asked.

Cindy was still full of righteous wrath at her brothers and sisters, and she wasted no time getting to the point. "Mom, Dad, let's sit down. This might take a little while." Once they were seated, she went on. "Everybody else thinks Peter's engagement to Christina is going to end just like his other engagements did. I don't understand those idiots at all. I mean, Peter had good reasons for getting rid of the other ones, right? Jill just used him to make her old boyfriend jealous, and Valerie wanted to be a career girl more than she wanted to be Peter's wife. And don't forget Ellen . . . the aspiring nun."

Carol winced with the memory and Mike chuckled. Christina looked aghast. "You mean he's been engaged three times before?"

"Yup," Cindy said with a sigh. "If it had really been right - not just for Peter but for the girls too - he'd have married one of them and be living happily ever after by now. But it wasn't. Jill didn't really love Peter, and Ellen had a higher calling that she felt she had to answer. And Peter knew that if he took Valerie at her word and married her, it would've ended eventually. Valerie thought she wanted Peter, but Peter could tell that her career had first priority with her and she wouldn't have put all the effort into the marriage that she should."

"You're right, Cindy," Mike said. "Very perceptive of you. Unfortunately, it looks as if the rest of the family thinks otherwise."

"What they think," Cindy said hotly, "is that Peter just didn't feel like tying himself down and simply wanted to be free. They refuse to see him as anything but a swinging bachelor. They're so sure he's going to back out of this engagement that they've actually told Christina and me exactly what they think, and they weren't even remotely diplomatic about it. I've heard my share of smartypants jokes going around the family too, so I know it's true."

"Well," Carol said confidently, "once they see Peter exchange his vows with Christina, they'll be singing a different tune in a hurry."

"I don't think so, Mrs. Brady," Christina murmured hopelessly.

"It's so bad that Christina's on the edge of telling Peter they ought to elope," Cindy said, "and guess what else. Everybody else's lack of belief in Peter has given him an honest-to-God ulcer."

Mike and Carol looked at each other, now genuinely alarmed. "An ulcer!" Carol blurted. "And this is just from Greg and Marcia and Jan and Bobby being skeptical?"

"I think it's been coming on ever since he met Christina," Cindy said. "Before then he was fine, but when he met Christina he realized she was his Ms. Right. And look at all the good luck she's brought into his life. He's been promoted, he's making better money, he's saving for a house, and he's crazy in love with Christina and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. And she loves him right back, just the same way. They're going to last forever, no question about it. But nobody else believes it and Peter knows it, and it's been eating holes in his stomach."

"My God," Carol murmured. But before she could say any more, the phone rang.

Mike picked it up, and his face went ashen. "What? Which hospital? We'll be right there!" He banged the receiver down and barked out, "That was Scott. Peter's in the hospital!"

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Scott's voice shook as he explained what had happened. "Pete and I were planting some shrubs in our front yard. After Cindy and Christina left, we spent the morning digging some holes and carrying bushes from the jeep to the yard. I had the jeep parked out front. Well, we had some lunch, and then went back out . . . and Pete lifted another bush out of the jeep, but it must have blocked his vision because he tripped on the curb. Near as I can figure, he twisted around, trying to fall so he wouldn't crush the bush, but on his way down I think he banged his head on the jeep somewhere. When I saw him, he was lying there, half in the yard and half in the street, and he was unconscious. He hasn't woken up yet."

"Where is he now?" Carol asked anxiously.

"Trauma," Scott said, glancing away. "When the doctors examined him, they found two marks that showed the impact where he hit. So I think he hit not only the jeep going down, but then the ground or even the curb when he landed."

"It's worse than I thought," Christina said, in tears. "I thought it was just his ulcer attacking or something, but this has nothing to do with that."

"Oh man, Pete's got an ulcer too?" Scott groaned. "How?"

"Long story, honey," Cindy said, sighing.

"I'm calling the others," Mike said grimly and rose from his chair. Within half an hour Greg, Marcia, Jan and Bobby and their spouses had all arrived, concern in every face. Greg insisted on conferring with the doctors who had examined Peter, and finally explained, "It's like Scott told you earlier. Peter has two heavy contusions where he hit his head. It looks like he's got a concussion, and it might be serious, since he's still out cold."

"I need to see him," several voices announced immediately. Carol, who had been one of them, put her head in her hands and began to cry. It reminded her much too closely of Bobby's accident and how the whole family had spent hours in the hospital room waiting for word.

Just as with Bobby, the doctors decreed that only family would be allowed in to see Peter. Scott, Tracy, Nora, Wally and Phillip accepted this without argument, but Christina was devastated. "But I'm his fiancée!" she protested tearfully. "We're going to be married!"

"Family only," one young doctor repeated firmly, "and I think for now even that should be restricted to his parents. Sorry, miss."

Cindy scowled at the doctor in frustration and led Christina to where she had been sitting with Scott. "Maybe Mom and Dad will have some good news," she said hopefully.

After about ten minutes Mike and Carol emerged from Peter's hospital room, surprise in their eyes. "I think he's trying to wake up," Mike said. "Whenever someone talks to him, he mumbles and moves his head back and forth a little. Can't make out what he's trying to say, though."

Marcia and Jan went in next and came back with much the same report. "He almost sounds like he's growling," Jan said. "It's really weird, you guys should hear it."

So Bobby and Cindy took their turn. Peter lay still and quiet on the bed, but when Bobby approached him and said softly, "Hey, Pete, it's me," Peter moved and mumbled the way Mike, Carol, Jan and Marcia had said. Bobby looked at Cindy. "Can you figure out what he's trying to say?"

Cindy frowned and leaned over so she could speak directly into her brother's ear. "Peter, it's Cindy," she said, slowly and clearly. "Everybody's here and they're waiting for you to wake up."

"Mmmmmph," Peter moaned. "Grrrrrrrr . . . nummmmmm. Ssssssssee . . . grrrrrnnnnummmm."

"Sounds like a Neanderthal," Bobby commented with a half-grin.

"So do you, a lot of the time," Cindy shot back and leaned down again. "Peter, we're listening. Keep trying."

"Sssssssseeeeee . . . grrrrrrrrrrnnummmmmm," Peter repeated, as if he'd heard.

" 'See' something," Cindy mumbled.

Then Peter spoke almost clearly. "Grrrrr . . . eee . . . nuhhhhhh . . . "

Cindy gasped and straightened up, and Bobby looked blown away. "It sounded like he just said 'Christina'!" Bobby blurted.

Cindy was beaming. "There he is, trying to fight his way out of a coma, and the first person he asks for is Christina," she said triumphantly. "We told you and told you - you and Marcia and Greg and Jan. He's dead serious about her. But you just wouldn't listen. I'm going to bring Christina in here, no matter what the doctors say. He's asking for her."

Cindy bounded back into the waiting room with a dazed-looking Bobby trailing behind her. "Come on, Christina," she said. "We figured out what Peter was trying to say. He wants to see you!"

"But she isn't even family!" exclaimed Wally abruptly.

"WALLY!" That came out of everyone, and was followed by a chorus of annoyed "SSSHHHH"s from the nurses at the admissions desk. Marcia gave her husband a not-so-light whack on the arm. "Bigmouth."

Christina rose hesitantly from her seat. "He really wants to see me?"

"You bet," Cindy said. "I heard him myself, and even Bobby the Skeptic couldn't mistake it for anything else. Come on, Christina. You're going in, doctors or no doctors."

Not only did Christina follow Cindy in, but so did Mike, Carol, Greg, Marcia, Jan and Bobby. Nora, Tracy and Wally might have gone in as well, but Phillip reminded them severely, "Family only."

"All at the same time?" Tracy asked, frowning. "They're lucky the doctors didn't come around and stop them."

Nora, who was a nurse herself, smiled. "I think it's for a good cause, Tracy," she said, "especially if what I think is going to happen actually does happen."

Wally sat reluctantly back down. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"No, you'll believe it when you hear about it," Phillip said firmly. "It wouldn't surprise me at all if you turned out to be the last person Peter wanted to have visiting him right now."

Cindy pushed open the door to Peter's room and nudged Christina in ahead of her. One by one, the other Bradys crowded into the room and ringed the hospital bed, while Cindy tugged a very uncertain Christina along with her till both young women stood beside Peter at the head of the bed. "Take his hand and tell him you're here," Cindy directed in a whisper.

Christina followed her sister-in-law's directions and leaned down to murmur into Peter's ear. "Hi, honey, it's Christina."

They all saw Peter squeeze Christina's hand and relax, and a tiny smile crossed his face. "Go on," Cindy urged excitedly.

"Peter," Christina went on, her voice soft and still uncertain, "I think it's time for you to wake up. I've been so scared and I want to be sure you're going to be okay. Please wake up and tell me it's all right. I love you, Peter." Her voice grew thick with tears, and one dripped off her cheek and onto his.

"Chris . . . teee . . . nuhhhh." Peter sighed deeply, then his eyes opened slowly and he blinked. All the Bradys let out delighted exclamations; Mike and Carol hugged each other.

Peter kept blinking, obviously trying to clear his vision. "Hey," he muttered, so that only those who were at the head of the bed could hear him, "when did you people get yourselves cloned?"

Cindy burst out laughing and Christina kissed Peter on the lips, right there in front of all the others - the first time she'd ever done that. "You're back," Christina exclaimed, "thank God!"

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Peter was discharged from the hospital the next afternoon, and Mike and Carol brought him to their house to take care of him for a few days till he could handle things on his own again. By that evening he was getting a string of visitors who hung around looking sheepish for some reason. His brothers and sisters and in-laws all found excuses to linger, until Peter found himself facing a living room full of relatives. Christina, who had come to the Brady house straight from work, sat next to Peter as if bolted to his side.

Mike came in from the kitchen with Carol, where they'd been having a light supper, and both senior Bradys stared in surprise at all six of their children and in-laws. "Didn't you people see your brother enough at the hospital yesterday?" Mike inquired facetiously.

Bobby and Tracy moved to the floor so Mike and Carol could have a place to sit. "Well, Dad, there's kind of a good reason we're all here," Greg admitted finally.

"Really?" Mike studied them and unexpectedly asked, "Stop me if I'm wrong, but could it be you kids have a little apologizing to do?"

They all nodded, looking subdued, and Jan spoke first. "We've been laying it on pretty thick, Peter. Some of us worse than others, and I guess I was one of the ones who were worse. When you asked for Christina in the hospital yesterday even before you woke up, that convinced me you really mean to stick with her forever." She smiled. "I'm so sorry for all the grief I've been giving you both. Cindy's right - you two are perfect for each other."

"Yeah," Marcia agreed. "Jan spoke for me there. I guess you were just waiting for exactly the right woman to come along, and she finally did. I'm sorry, Peter and Christina."

"Nora was behind you," Greg said, "but I admit I kind of had my doubts. They went right out the window after what I saw yesterday. I apologize, Pete."

There was a short silence, and everyone saw Tracy dig her elbow into Bobby's side. "Come on, Bobby, your turn. You've been the worst of everybody."

"Except maybe Wally," Marcia put in with a meaningful glance at Wally, who was unusually quiet.

"Sorry, Pete," Wally mumbled on cue, and Peter grinned.

"Me too," Bobby said at last. "I've really been shooting off my mouth a lot, and Tracy gets on my case about it sometimes, but I couldn't get past the old playboy image. But man, if you ask for Christina even in your sleep, it's GOTTA be the real thing."

"Well, good," said Cindy with satisfaction, grinning at Scott and then at Peter and Christina. "Now we can get these two married off, and Christina won't have to consider eloping, and Peter's ulcer will heal . . . and we'll all live happily ever after."

"Eloping?" squealed Marcia, Jan, Nora and Tracy.

"Ulcer!?" exploded Greg, Bobby, Phillip and Wally.

"Happily ever after?" Carol asked Cindy, half teasingly. "Of course," Cindy said. "We're the Brady Bunch. We couldn't live any other way."

So two months later, Peter Brady and Christina Jensen were married in Mike and Carol's living room, as Jan, Marcia and Bobby had been before them. Bobby walked free of a cane for the first time in almost five years. In time, Peter's ulcer healed . . . and Nora gave birth to a baby boy who was named Nicholas . . . and Tracy had a baby boy named Adam . . . and Cindy, not to be outdone by Jan, produced twins, a boy and a girl, named Stephen and Susan.

"Disgusting," was Mickey Logan's word for all this unbridled happiness. "All these goody-two-shoes running around. I think I'm gonna divorce this family and become a Simpson."

"You should," said Jessica. "You're as big a jerk as Bart, and you and Homer could have burping contests. We could adopt Lisa in your place."

Wally smirked. "Mickey Logan, the Anti-Brady. Can't wait to see how he turns out . . . "

T H E E N D

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[Author's Note: All these characters belong to Sherwood Schwartz, except Scott and Christina Jensen, Deborah and Melissa Covington, Nicholas and Adam Brady, and Stephen and Susan Jensen. Since Robert Reed has been gone for 11 years now, we'll probably never find out what really happened to the Brady family, but there were too many loose ends left untied and that's my way of tying them up. Anyone else can feel free to write about Mickey, the Anti-Brady. : ) ]