Crimson Tears

Chapter 4

By aznJEDI13


Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Anakin and Amidala and everyone else. Heck, he owns just about everything in the story. This is purely for fan enjoyment.

Notes: This takes place during the Clone Wars. I must warn you right now that I'm not a big fan of Anakin turning into Darth Vader so it probably won't end with anything like that. I hope you like this; I've been reading too many ami/obi ones I was sooooooooooooo mad. That was completely random and I'm going to write a bunch of stories to rebel against them!

I hate love triangles but I write them because it's a plot twister. Right now I have no clue if I'm going to add it or not, actually I have no clue if I'll even finish this one. I don't really know where its going so this is a really questionable story. ENJOY! Feedback is REALLY appreciated.

Thanks to everyone who left a review! Please continue to do so. I was so shocked, I've never had so many reviews and I enjoyed reading them over and over again so please continue! I like long reviews too!!!

Sorry this is so short! They'll get longer soon!!!!!

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'…Baby when I found you, I just knew that I couldn't live without you…'



She continued to sleep, tossing and turning. She need her sleep – she would board the ship in the morning.

But when sleep came, then came the dreams and then she remembered.


"Little Ani," She paused, "You're still so very forward."

He looked at her quizzically and then he pumped out his chest comically, "Little? Who you calling little? Not when I have something like this." He said motioning to his body.

Stone-faced, she spoke sarcastically, "Or an ego like that either." She let a teasing smile slip to mock him.

Smirking, he held out his hand offering a handshake, "Nice to meet you Padme, ever the serious one."

She took his hand just as humorously and laughed all along, "And Anakin, the little boy in the man's body with an ego bigger then his head."

He dropped her hand in fake disgust and muttered incomprehensible words before speaking cynically, "I missed you too, Am."

She scoffed, "Oh little Ani, so sensitive."

He made a face of defeat, causing her to laugh as he frowned. Then he offered her his arm, motioning for him to walk with him. She gladly accepted.

"And how are we today, your majesty?"

"Knock it off short," she glanced at him, "stuff…" and continued before laughing, "You know I'm not Queen anymore."

He stopped walking and then ran the back of his hand over her cheek, silencing her, "You were born to be a queen, Padme."

A silence invaded them. One full of awkwardness and inevitableness sucked them into a lasting and unbearable void.

She hit his shoulder softly, giving him the subtle hint that still they were just 'friends', "Don't flatter me, Anakin Skywalker."

He looked down at his feet, taking the hint and was just about to throw it at her face, "About that Padme…" His voice trailed off.

She put a finger to his lip and spoke softly, "Don't."

She looked into his eyes as opal met cerulean blue for the first time in ages. He moved her finger from his lips and continued, "Words will not express what the heart already knows." He lowered his eyes from her, "Or what the heart denies," He paused, "Padme."

She pressed her finger against his lips once more; "I can't Anakin…"

She turned away from him, speaking in a whisper, "It would be," She struggled for her words, "Too awkward, too unusual, Anakin." She paused, "I wouldn't want to ruin what we already have as friends." She continued to walk again, releasing his arm, "Besides I'm five years your senior. What would people say or think?"

He grabbed her arm; "Does it matter what they say?"

She tried to shake from his grasp, "Ani," She struggled out of his grip, "Please, Ani, please…"

Irritated by her persistence, he turned away and released her, "Fine." He paused, "Ignore your heart – ignore your feelings, my feelings!"

She frowned as he began to trudge away from her, "Ani…"

He had this inconsistent negative attitude that annoyed her more then his egotistical arrogance irritated her. He had this huge tendency to annoy her everytime he reappeared from somewhere because of this mood, even though his visits were limited to once every couple of months.

They had some kind of fight at least once during his visit.

And it was always about the same thing – love.

She had loved him since that day he had kissed her, but she had denied it. It was better that way. Always thinking up excuses to contradict her heart, but now it seemed too much. She couldn't do it, couldn't deny her heart anymore.

She couldn't deny her true self.

Without him she would always be missing something, she knew it.

"Anakin," she ran after him, grabbing his arm.

His indolent, negative attitude hit her as soon as he turned around and mumbled an annoyed, "What?" His eyes set into hers, "Padme, listen," He paused struggling to lock his feelings away, "I understand-"

She put her finger up to silence him. She smiled at him and brought her lips up to meet his. One kiss and she pulled away leaving him stunned.

"Anakin Skywalker, I swear you are something…"

"But you love me any ways."

And he kissed her again.

Unfortunately day came and she left her dream world. She went on living, awaiting the dreams - the memories - that would visit her each night. She lived without him, only with the knowledge that somewhere he was alive.

And with the dreams that kept him alive.

Otherwise she too had died when he died. She should have been buried with him. Except he had never been buried. Only given up for dead.

But she continued life with hope, living day after day with that faith. But today was a special day. Today she began her journey to find her lost love. And the dreams would remind her of what she missed.

And what she was searching for.

She packed, with the hope that somewhere he was alive and waiting for her. And she would love him this time with all her heart.

'…It can change your life forever or it may never hear you call…'


Her private jet took off on time. Flying through the endless stars that he had once loved so much. Jetting through various regions that he had traveled to and passing places he had set foot on. Everywhere she went, she was reminded of him.

The sky was the color of his eyes. The setting sun cast the clouds that same beautiful golden color of his gentle facial features and soft glowing curls.

The star systems, an endless reminder of a vow he had made when he had first met her. He had wanted to be the first one to see them all.

And the moon, a reminder of a creature he had once called her. He had demanded that she had to be one. That she had to be an angel. She recalled that moment every time she saw the soft glow of the luminous moon.

The celestial skies, a home for his angels and she was beginning to wonder, with him being an angel just as well, that perhaps he had joined them. That he was there watching over her. His beautiful eyes making sure to see her every move. The blue in those eyes so potent that its intensity broke that of the sun. He would have long, beautiful wings that allowed him to fly whenever, wherever desired. Those very wings would allow him to come to her whenever she was scared and alone.

She wondered if he was an angel and if sometime soon she would join him in that haven. She wanted to sleep in the softness of the fluffy white clouds, drink into the passion of the stars, and to wipe away the crimson tears of pain, of joy and of content. Her own tears, tears of mourning, tears of joy and tears of pain; crimson tears, a soft reminder of what she had longed to have for so long and now yearned to have return.

Then again he could be alive, living and searching for a way home - a way back to her.

He was not dead. Despite how good it sounded for him to be an ethereal being of beauty, she knew deep in her heart that he was still alive. Her love for him still existed in her aching heart. It was still there in the hollow of her breast though for sometime it had been long forgotten.

She hadn't wanted to visit that part of her; it still hurt.

She had never felt his pain; she had never felt him die. Therefore how could he ever be dead? If he had truly died, she would have felt his death, wouldn't she have?

As her ship continued to glide through the dark, solid ocean, the black void of space. A Nubian pilot busy at the helm, monitoring the controls Anakin had once loved so much. She slipped into unconsciousness waiting patiently for the dreams that continued to her haunt her of his voice, of his touch, of the hole he had left in her heart. She could only imagine herself reaching out to him, awaiting the false sensations of his arms that felt so real.

She found herself sometimes wishing that her dreams could be reality.

She dreamed of the stars that night, something he loved almost as much as he had loved her. The stars, the stars made her cry those crimson tears all over again.

And once again she found herself wanting to live in her dream world…

Ani's visit that afternoon had improved her spirits and given her enough tolerance for a few more galactic senate meetings. She promised to meet him afterwards once she had retreated away from the public's eye.

He complained that she didn't want people to know of their love and she had argued that she wasn't ready for the whole system to know of her romantic entanglements. He insisted then that it wasn't just some silly affair, he knew it was real and so did she.

She had passed someone in the hall who had told her that he had retreated to her chambers not long after the meetings had concluded and before she had went to address the paparazini and reporters. It was dark by the time she had finished, she only hoped he'd understand what had kept her so long.

She found him on the balcony. Staring up at the star and looking as if he was in a trance. He stood serenely his face pointed toward the luminous balls of fire. His eyes closed in meditation or in sleep, she couldn't decide. Yet they opened as soon as she stepped near the door. She could tell he could sense her presence.

She saw him smile as she closed the sliding glass door behind her. He acknowledged her without turning around, "Aren't they beautiful?" he questioned.

She smiled, "Yes," she sighed, "They are,"

She went up the rail, a little more then parallel from him. She leaned against it, using the thick marble rail to hoist her up from the ground. She smelled the soft Naboo air, allowing it to fill her nostrils and to flow through her entire being.

They stood there in silence for minutes.

She turned and looked at him and furrowed her brows at his emotionless face. It took him some time for him to realize she was looking at him and when he finally acknowledged her confused expression he moved to lean against the marble rail. The moonlight bathed on his features. Creating the illusion that he was glowing ethereally.

He hung his head down extra low.

She reached out and touched his cheek with her hand, "What is it, Anakin?"

He furrowed his brow in consternation. Then he looked up at her and smiled, before he leaned down and brushed his lips against her own, speaking softly, almost in a whisper, "Ask me some other time, Padme."

She rolled her eyes, "If you insist."

He took her hand and for a second relished in her soft touch and silky skin. He studied the tiny fingers that fit so perfectly within his own coarse hands.

She looked up at him, at first confused and then knowingly.

He bowed and kissed the top of her hand before planting a kiss on each fingertip, he looked up at her and smiled, "Would you like to dance, Milady?"

She nodded, "I would appreciate it Milord."

She wound her slender arms around his neck and he placed his hands on her waist. She laid her head against his chest as they began to sway to an unknown, unamed tune.

After a while she turned to see his face, "I'm sorry I was so long Ani."

His hands tightened around her waist, before he spoke he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "It's all right, I understand."

"You do?" she furrowed her brow and then sighed, "You know…" her voice trailed off, "That's how it always going to be I'll always be…"

He stopped her speech by brushing his lips against her once more, "It's all right, I told you I understand."

She pulled him down for another kiss, which he happily returned. For a while they stood there, bathed in the moonlight, lips pressed against each other in a gravity-defying kiss. More than one kiss, though, they kissed once, twice, and kept going.

When they pulled away, she leaned her head on his shoulder once again; "We'll talk later, Ani." She sighed, "Let's enjoy the peace while we still can."

The calm before the storm.


She tightened the hold she had around his neck as he placed his head on hers, kissing the top of her head before he leaned his head on her own. She smiled.

This is love, she thought.

They danced in silence once more, the hum of the crickets a soft melody in the bath of luminous light. She closed her eyes slightly to hear the soft music and relax in her lover's arms.

"I love you Padme."

With her eyes closed, she smiled once again contently and spoke softly, "I know."

And she thought for sure that love couldn't get any better.


She awoke to the feeling of landed as her ship glided softly onto the landing pad. For a second she turned to wake Anakin up, but she caught herself quickly remembering that he was not there. That he had not been there for a while now.

Her heart skipped a beat when she remembered what was going on and what she was doing. This was the moment she had been waiting for, that she had been yearning for so long.

This moment made her dreams seem even more facsimile and factitious.

To be continued…

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