Note: Hola! It's me again. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, or at
least I had a lot of fun with the bottom half. Poor Duo. He gets so
embarrassed! Maybe it's karma. I hope you guys liked this as much as I
liked writing it! There are probably a lot of typos on here, and I might
fix it all later. For now, I'm tired, so they stay. At the bottom of
this, I'll ask people a question. It'll be great if I could get some
replies to it! I don't own Gundam Wing sadly, and if I did, 1+2+1 would be
the ruler of all which is coincidentally the pairing in this fic. Oh what
a surprise. Please read and review!
Chapter Fourteen
"What?" large amethyst eyes stared straight into Heero's Prussian blue orbs, astonished and confused at the unexpected challenge.
"If you defeat me in combat, I'll give you Wing," he repeated himself with simplicity.
"Are you serious?" Duo laughed incredulously, the tittering dying when he saw the impassive, waiting pair of eyes. "Overly confident there, or do you just not like your gundam?"
"I won't lose to you, Duo Maxwell," he stated simply. 'Not now, not ever.'
"Look, man, I don't know about this. The stakes are really high, and I don't feel like getting anyone hurt right now, ok?" He glanced at the Japanese pilot nervously.
"Not now, you baka," Heero exasperated. "You're still injured, and I wouldn't want any disadvantages. Besides there are other ways to fight." he trailed off.
"Ohhhhhh!" Duo grinned sheepishly, flushing a soft pink. 'I should have known.' "Hey! At least I got you to talk again, right?" "Hn," Heero nearly snorted.
"So a-how do you think we should fight?" a mischievous grin lit his impish, heart-shaped face. "And when?"
"You're the creative one," the other boy pointed out. "I'm a soldier, not a childish baka like you." 'Yes, he's childish and idiotic.'
A flash of pain struck Duo's expression for the briefest moment, and somehow in that moment, Heero had decided to look away, missing the crack in an almost perfect mask. "Aww, come one, Heero! I'm only fifteen. I can be serious and boring like you when the time calls." 'No way you're getting off that easy. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get you to open up so much in the past few days? I mean it's not a lot by far, but it's a really big deal for you. I know you don't mean it. You can't mean it. And you can't defeat Shinigami that easily.'
"I didn't say it wasn't normal," the Japanese youth defended his choice of words. '/ Admit it, Heero. You know that he's an adult even if he can act silly sometimes. At least he has the courage to be himself, unlike you. / If he's hiding, he's not being himself. / It's how he deals with pain. Everyone has different ways. Stop insulting him, Heero. / Urusai. / Why do you do it? Tell yourself that much at least. /'
"Oh well..." the braided one sighed softly. "The sky is beautiful tonight, don't you think?"
"I hadn't really taken note of it," in a faraway voice, Heero's tone barely reached his ears.
Duo let out a light chuckle, "You not notice something? Now that is unheard of."
"As long as it's not important," he explained.
"Come on, I'll make you notice what's beautiful!" grinning, Duo grasped onto Heero's palm, pulling the perfect soldier into an open field in full view of the night skies.
Again, the Japanese boy allowed himself to be led to another place, but this time, it was more like following Duo rather than being towed along. He wanted to be near him, yet his consciousness couldn't admit that simple fact. '/We all have needs, Heero. We need to feel like we belong. We need love and be loved. Those are so basic, so simple. / Huh? Who had said that to me?'
"It's weird-" Duo gazed upon the darkened horizon, pulling both boys to sit on the dewy grass.
"What is?"
"Being with you," he turned to smile at the Prussian eyed boy, searching him with his own set of blue-violet eyes, now deepening to a dark purple, shining in the moonlight.
"Why?"
"I've spent most of my life alone," a splinter of wist ornamented his soft voice. "It wasn't easy watching all those people die, loosing so much. You might not believe it, but I actually distanced myself from most people," he laughed almost sadly.
"I might believe more than you think," dark, midnight blue stared at the joker.
"What do you mean?" his fine brows furrowed in puzzlement.
"You're not the only one with insight on character," Heero turned away once more, to gaze at the shimmering blanket of stars painted over the dark shadows of space.
Duo grinned again, lying down with a groan, laughing at the sudden reaction it caused the alerted soldier. Surely enough, a less brooding glare was shot directly at the cheerful pilot who simply laughed harder. "Omae o korosu," he warned darkly.
"Aww, Heero." he cooed. "It'll be ok."
"Don't patronize me," growled the Japanese boy.
"You do it all the time!" Duo pointed out.
Heero grunted, "Hn, there are no standards for me. You are still a prisoner."
Duo sent a sour expression in Heero's direction, "You sure don't treat me like one," he mumbled under his breath.
"Would you like me to?" he asked softly.
"I-think I'll keep my mouth shut this time," the boy grinned. "All though..."
"I think this way is much more effective anyway," Heero murmured enigmatically.
"Huh?" sudden interest flared in glimmering, violet orbs.
"I wouldn't have gained your trust otherwise. You are in a much more dangerous position now than if I would have been beating you. You have told me things you never told those guards, haven't you?" he reminded him quietly.
Shock, hurt, and anger ignited within Duo. "Bastard," he seethed lowly. "You're a fucking bastard, Yuy." Tension sharpened the light mood in an instant, loosing the imprint of the earlier atmosphere almost completely.
"Duo-" the other soldier began.
"Save your damn breath," the braided man interjected.
"I-"
"You know, I bet the only reason you're letting me live is so I can play the fool for you, be the dumb ass that you can use to amuse yourself with," angry words streamed from his mouth.
"Would never-"
"I ain't a fool. I can't believe that I actually started to care about your well being. Do me a favor, and just tell me the fucking truth, or shut the hell up."
"Do that to you," Heero finished his sentence.
It was only then that Duo realized he had been speaking as his mind desperately tried to piece together the words. "What?" he choked out. "Do what?"
'You're everything I'm not, yet somehow we are so much alike. I feel like we can understand each other better than anything, and we both know things about each other that we didn't even know existed in ourselves. These past few days have been a strange fusion of hell and wonder. I don't understand how you can affect me this way, and make me feel things I thought were long dead. I just want to be near you, to be with you. You manage to make things more interesting and both worse and better.'
'I find myself giving you so much freedom, and surprisingly you didn't stray away. You've always kept a promise, and you never even tried to escape. You've put your life in my hands more than once, so trusting. And somehow it made me want to fight harder, to not let you down. I don't understand how you can be so trusting or why you care about me. I pushed you away, and I said I didn't trust you. You have gotten to close to me, and the boy lost within the war, the soldier you know only as Heero Yuy. I felt a fragment of peace and joy because of you. You're so much like sunshine, and yet you call yourself the God of Death.'
'When I look into those violet eyes, I almost freeze, not daring to breathe. They look so kinda and so good yet haunted by death. And I find myself wondering about you. Who is Duo Maxwell? I know that you know what I mean when I ask that question. I want answers so desperately, but at the same time it feels like that doesn't matter, and all I want to do is feel, not analyze it. Are there ever any easy answers in this subject field? It's not like math where there's one, clear answer. In here, everything is shrouded. I don't like uncertainty.'
'If I had to kill you, would I be able to? I've already failed to kill you so many times when I had every opportunity. Then I didn't have to, but what if in the future I will? I would have to, wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I be able to kill you? There's just something about you. I can't quite grasp it. It's natural to be with you and do things with you. Duo, you have made me fail so many expectations both unsaid and specified, and that is more than perilous. Even more shocking is that I-trust you, and I care about you. Imagine that.'
A subconscious confession composed itself in Heero mind while his conscious mind shut it out almost completely; the words slipping past his lips where only the tip of the iceberg. "I wouldn't and haven't used you for simply informational purposes. I'm surprised that you trust me because hardly anyone would, especially in your position."
"Who said I trusted you?" amethyst eyes narrowed.
"I can see it," Heero spoke slowly, his gaze never leaving the braided one's.
"Fine."
"I wouldn't break your trust if I don't have to. Duo, as strange as this sounds, I don't want you to be angry with me. I only told you the truth because you have granted me the same. I appreciate that after so many lies," a little tidbit of emotion made an entrance to his speech and his eyes.
"Heero," Duo smiled, instantly relieving Heero's mind, "that's like the nicest thing you have said to me since I got captured! It means a lot to me," he nodded in confirmation.
"Why do you trust me?" Heero asked him suddenly, mild interest glimmered in darken, blue pools.
"I can't honestly say that I know. There hasn't really been a reason not to." the braided boy shrugged with nonchalance. "But uh-thanks."
"What have I done?"
The violet-eyed soldier chortled lightly, "Well, you saved my life. I might have died there, you know. And just being here with me is thanks enough. It's weird, but change can be good."
"Iie," the same dark sapphires had never once left Duo's form. "It's been not all unpleasant," hesitant words slipped from his throat.
Duo unleashed a warm grin, tilting his head in observation of the Japanese pilot. Silenced reigned supreme between the slightly awkward pair of soldiers, neither knowing what to say. 'Heero, Heero, Heero, what can be said about such a strange soldier? I can remember only that time that we have known each other, but I really want to know more about my past. How in God's name could I forget someone like you? What did they do?'
"Why are you looking at me?" inquired the Japanese soldier suddenly.
At that, Duo's lips curled back into his smirk. "Trying to figure you out."
"Can you see my thoughts?"
"Not exactly, but this is just a natural human reaction," the chestnut- haired boy responded. "What do you think about when you gawk at me?"
"Who are you?" the same, familiar question was asked once more after being left alone for so long.
Smiling sadly, the braided wonder surprised the perfect soldier, "You're best friend," he spoke so lowly, the words almost sounding like a hushed whisper.
"What happened? In your dream?" the nagging curiosity returned with fervor.
"You weren't a perfect soldier then. I'm not sure you would be able to handle how innocent you were, and how you let emotions in to your life, willingly, and wanting them," warned Duo.
"Tell me," Heero persisted.
"It was a long, long time ago, more than half our lives ago," he sighed, beginning to piece together the memory. "Dr. J had selected you to train to be the perfect soldier. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that I was loosing my best friend," an inappropriate chuckle sounded at that moment as Duo gazed at the star-kissed skies.
Heero stared at the image right beside his figure, suddenly serious but still wearing a smile. 'No jokes. It obviously means a lot to him.'
"You," he turned to stare back at the grown reflection of the six-year- old boy in the same manner as before. Neither spoke for a moment until Duo decided to continue on with the tale. "I pretended that I was ok, that it was a normal day, and that we would be able to go steal some food from the dingy bakery down on 8th Street. You thought I didn't remember, and you just had to remind me. Still I was all smiles until you ordered me to let it down. You've always had a way to make me do things no matter how much I don't want. I have to admit that it was getting harder to keep it up."
"I envied your calmness even though I could see a storm brewing in those intense eyes. It was one of the saddest and most happy days of my life. You told me how you felt about everything or at least as much as you knew," the America turned his eyes downward as Heero unconsciously leaned closer to him.
"What did I say?" his words were quieter than usual.
Dark lilac eyes lifted, meeting unexpectedly with intense, Prussian blue. They nearly lost themselves in each other's gaze, and surprisingly, Duo was the first to break away. "I'll put it this way. The things you said made me love myself because your opinion mattered so much to me and more than any other person I knew or even know right now. It was so sweet," he smiled unevenly. "And in between those words, I told you almost exactly how much you had meant to me. We never really had to communicate verbally to know what was felt."
"What did you say?" Heero asked almost not wanting to hear the answer. 'Why would it matter what he thinks about me anyway? I'm just curious to if this dream could spark some memory. Nothing seems familiar, but I get the strangest feeling. And I don't know or understand what it is, but I intent to find out soon. What have you done to me, Duo Maxwell?'
His cheeks blushed softly, "Uh." he stammered nervously, shying away from Heero's intense, Prussian, blue pools. "I'm sorry. It's kind of embarrassing to say. I mean it's been a long, long time ago, and we've changed a lot. I don't want you to scoff at me or anything."
The Japanese youth swallowed, throat constricting with tension for a second unintentionally, "Onegai," he pleaded softly, a bit of emotion and nervousness stinging this monotone.
"Promise you won't scoff or laugh?" Large, blue-violet eyes stared doubtfully into his own set of dark blues.
"I promise," he vowed again in his quite voice.
"Alright," Duo sighed meaningfully, taking in a deep breath beforehand, "I was being pretty childish then, but hey, I was six. You were always the more mature one in our friendship, and I guess that hasn't changed," he attempted to lighten the serious atmosphere. "I mean, you're right, I am an idiot, especially compared to you. And-" he continued to babble on.
'No, that's not true.' "Duo." he reminded the braided pilot trifling his chestnut tresses, "what did you say?"
"I said that. that you deserved to have an identity, and now you had one or at least an alias. I was elated for you, but I still didn't have a real name that my parents gave me. You are an amazing friend and person. When I first met you, you had pulled me out from my depression and suicidal tendencies. You, Heero," he stared into enormous pools of almost black midnight blue, his voice thick with emotion. 'I'll make it through this. I mean this is in the past right? Why should that affect me so much now? /Duo, you baka. Nothing has really changed has it? / He's not the same person anymore. Now he's just an icy soldier. / You know your best friend is in there somewhere, and I know that you've seen him come out, especially in the past few days. You've never backed away from a challenge before, remember? So why are you now? /'
With renewed self-resolution, the boy in the black outfit continued on with a stronger voice, "I had a reason to live again when I saw no point," Subtle changes swirled in Heero's eyes, so small and insignificant, but Duo could notice the slight differences. 'He's not hiding so much anymore! When I first saw him, his eyes were so empty and void, but it's changed. I shouldn't get my hopes up though.'
"You caught my interest, and you were so mysterious and enigmatic; I wanted to catch your interest, too. I just had to figure you out, you know? I know about the past life you had led on L1; it was so harsh and inhuman, but you weren't like most people that lived on the streets. You were never bitter about it or hateful, and you have always put other's interests before your own. I think part of the reason you actually willingly went with the doctor was because you didn't want to see the people suffer. You have given up so much for them, and they hate you because they don't understand. It's not just because of the orders, Heero. It's because of how selfless you are, compassionate."
'No... You're wrong, Duo. Do you know how many people I've killed? How much blood is stained on my hands? How many lives I've ruined? I'm not suppose to be human.' "And you made me realize that I wouldn't be doing people a favor by dying. I mean those colonies out there," his hand gestured upward to the stars, "they need us to protect them. If I killed myself, it would have been that the oppressive government would have won. I'm not going to let that happen at least not when I'm still alive. I knew then that I wanted to fight, resist, and make a difference for the better. Maybe then I would finally be someone, and I would make them pay for all the pain and suffering. Around you I felt like something, and I would like to think that I became a better person. I liked who I was around you, but umm-you had to go. Life goes on, but it's not the same. I-" 'Loved you with all of my heart, as a friend. And that was more that enough, more than I deserved. Now I find myself wanting something else. It can't be... Can it? Just those little things about you, those little moments. I don't know anymore.'
"You what?"
"I just wanted to let you know how much you meant to me before you were gone for good," Duo improvised flawlessly, granting the dark-haired soldier with a grin.
"You're not an idiot, Duo," all of a sudden, the sentence streamed out of his mouth.
A radiant smile replaced the pilot's false grin, "Thanks."
"What else happened?"
"Well," he tapped his index finger in thought, "you got pissed off at me cuz I was putting myself down. You told me that I had an identity, that I was Duo Maxwell, your best friend. That almost made my day, and it would have if you didn't have to go. And then uh." his flushed deepened further as the braided boy glanced away from the dark blue gaze of his companion. "You kinda, sort um-kissed me," with an unsteady digit, he roughly grazed the corner of his lip where the kiss still burned in his memory.
"What?" the perfect soldier was taken a back as momentary shock crossed his Asian features. In one, miniscule blink, the stunned look was gone, replaced by the usual emotionless stare.
"Damn, Heero. Don't make me say it again..." Duo chuckled at himself, shaking his head lightly in laughter.
"I kissed you before," in his monotonous voice, the question sounded more like a statement. "I don't see why you're embarrassed about it if it was me that did it."
"Oh hush, and you KNOW what I mean. I'm not going through that not talking phase all over again," Duo began his prattling once more, leaving the almost inhuman man to ponder over his words.
"Then what?" the low baritone inquired, redirecting the American's attention back to his "dream."
"Oh right," thoughtfulness entered his expression before he spoke, "I kind of just watched you walk away in a state of shock. I mean what you felt was nothing compared to how I felt then." he trailed off. "I felt helpless, you know? All these thoughts started to flood my mind before I snapped back into reality. And then when it hit me, I ran like hell, and tackled you pretty much," the loudmouthed joker grinned. "I managed to knock you down and off your feet."
"It started to rain finally because it was one of those gloomy days with no sun. I guess the weather reflected the situation, huh? Anyway, I told you that, uh, I would find you again no matter what, and I would fight by your side. Until then, I ordered you not to die on me," He never mentioned how much he had wanted to cry or that he thought he saw Heero brush away a tear. "I knew it was for the best, so I let you go. I mean I had to do that, right? Just in case though, I followed you and that old guy, and I heard some conversation."
"What did we say?"
"Umm... He asked you something," once again, the obnoxious pilot of Deathscythe colored, cheeks reddening. "He um asked I was your," he coughed, "lover," he cleared his throat again. Impassive dark blue blinked at him once, and the braided soldier promptly erupted in laughter. "And the way you looked at him was just so hilarious! I mean your eyes were like huge, and you just stared him like what are you smoking? It's either that or how did you know?! I'm just kidding, don't worry. We didn't fuck each other silly that I know of."
"You can dream about that later," Heero spared him a wary glance though a small wisp of amusement illuminated the blue.
"Hey! If I wanted to, I could so seduce you!" his male ego somewhat deflated, Duo shot back the crude comment, his mind not really processing the words.
"Why would you want to?" Heero raised an eyebrow.
"Um... Oh hell! You know what I mean!" Duo nearly pouted at the Japanese boy.
"I wouldn't bet that you could," he spoke simply, staring straight into violet orbs as he uttered the words.
With his mouth hanging slightly open and eyes growing in enormity, Duo could only gawk back at Heero's lack of certainty. 'I'll show you, Yuy. I soooooooo could seduce you.' "Oh, hell yes I can," his voice was menacingly low an evil smirk playing on his lips.
"You have no proof," the soldier reminded Duo in a matter-of-fact tone. 'I'll never relinquish my control to you.'
"Neither do you," he fired back. 'How did I get into this argument? Ugh! I hate how he can push my buttons.'
"I know you can't," he responded coolly with assurance.
"I don't have to convince you anything," Duo replied, rolling into a kneeling position, shoulders hunched, looking like a predator with a dangerous glint in his eye.
"You're afraid," Heero stated calmly.
"I'm... not... afraid..." he enunciated each word heavily. 'Don't mess with me, Yuy.'
"I can see it," the stoic youth announced quietly.
"Damn you," Duo swore. 'Alright, that's it! I'll show you...' With every word they spoke to one another, the pair had drawn closer and closer together instinctively.
Even with every taunt Heero had uttered to the braided baka, he could have never expected that Duo would do anything about it. He failed to predict every circumstance, and that singular error could cause failure. Without warning, the American boy sprung forward, pressing against Heero's taut body, and taking advantage of the surprise, pushed the Japanese youth to lying on his back, staring incredulously into amethyst pools. "Wha-" he asked breathlessly before he felt a set of soft lips crush against his own, muffling his gasp and his words.
The forceful kiss almost unwilling softened yet nevertheless filled with the same passion that was fueled by anger. The intimate touch managed to douse the strong emotion somehow, and both boys felt more inclined to surrender to the different feeling than first intentions. Unresponsive lips began to kiss back, trembling in uncertainty and feeling. 'Duo... It feels so right somehow. I don't understand what's happening or what I feel, but right now I don't really care. It feels so strange but undeniably good. I can barely think... I'm loosing control, and I want... I want...'
Feeling his own restraint slipping away, Duo still held the most part of the control in the touch. It had been the first time since he was rescued and captured by the Japanese boy that he had been in more power, teaching the perfect soldier. The intense heat emulating from Heero only heightened his desire, and somehow even this wasn't close enough. Lips locking, he began to slowly suckle on the bottom of the Prussian-eyed boy's mouth, causing both to release a soft moan. Using his moist tongue, the American wetted Heero's lips, coaxing them to allow him entrance. They parted, and his tongue slipped into the other boy's mouth, exploring the cavern.
With his tongue, Duo explored Heero's mouth, tasting him thoroughly. Their taste buds sparred, touching, caressing, sucking, losing themselves in the moment, and the kiss. 'I'm kissing Heero. I'm actually fucking kissing Heero! Damn. And God I don't want this to stop... Nothing has ever felt so good or so right...'
"Yuy?" a surprised voice harshly whispered, alarming both soldiers as they violently tore apart. "And. And. Ma-" the stranger's voice cut off as soon as he saw the pleading look in violet pools. 'What the hell is going on?!'
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Replies to reviews.
Lora-Helen- Hey hun! Wow, thank you very much for giving me that review! I'll be sure to return the favor sometime soon with your new one. It's intriguing...
Lokogato- Thank you so much for yet another great review. It's really nice to know that people want to read this fic. Great for my self-esteem, too! Thank you for the awesome possum compliments! I hope you won't mind that it's taking me long to do this. I need breaks from computers every now and then.
Sivy- Salut! Thanks a bunch for the review because we all know how much I love getting those. The fight will have to wait a while, but if Duo wins- doesn't that mean that Heero won't have Wing anymore?! I can just imagine the stealing back and forth. I'll figure something out!
OminousuRinne- Hi! Thank you very much for giving me a review! I'm actually getting new readers? That's fabulous! I hope the last part was what you considered a move. I thought it would be very um fun. Hehehe. Anyone vote for lime in here? I'm thinking about that.
Shinigami's Voice- Hey! Danke Schon for the great, nice, long review. I love to read those. Don't hit me for not completely revealing the gundam pilot part! I really tried, but I thought that this way would be better- and stuff... I'll definitely keep in the mind the spectacular part though because that sounds like a very interesting idea. I most likely will take a while with the next chapter. I just kind of need a break from writing, writing, writing this all the time. Maybe if I start a new fic. Juggling usually isn't the greatest idea for me though... But I got the weirdest idea for a Romeo and Juliet thing where they perform the play, but something goes wrong and... Ok... I need to stop ranting. Thanks again!
Loz- Hi! It's like almost three AM right now, and I think I'll post it later this morning after I get some sleep. Mucho gracias for the review! See? Heero got to hear all about the dream in this chapter. And yeah, I actually did intend to wait it out this long this time. That usually doesn't happen, and people have to remind me. I hope you liked this part of the fic! I wonder how long this is actually going to be...
Silver Shinigami- Hey! Hey! How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while. Thanks a lot for the review! And I did not scheme. Well ok maybe a little... I mean, I wanted to see if you would actually want to read it instead of bother you with kind of proofing it all the time. And are you implying that I made a lot of OOPS's in the other chapter? I wouldn't be surprised if I had. What exactly did you need help with on PC again? It seems like you have a lot of figured out already.
Phoenix- Hi! I'm sorry about you not seeing chapter thirteen when it was up. It just didn't actually show up in the menu on chapter twelve until like a day later. Hopefully, everything is all caught up now! Don't hit me because I didn't actually reveal the gundam pilot thing yet. I just thought it would be more interesting and better this way. I feel so bad now... Thank you very much for the fabulous review!
SayianPride- Hi! Ooh, a short 'n sweet review. Thank you so much for giving one to me! I know there's probably not a whole lot to say about the chapters. Kool pen name, by the way. I had a brief obsession with that, but I didn't really have an opinion on pairings. Well I hope you liked this chapter!
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Phew! Now that I'm done answering reviews, I can do the whole ending thing. Then I have to go back through eight or nine pages double spacing just in between paragraphs so you readers have less grief trying to read this thing. If I don't do that, well everything gets smushed together! Owwie... My back and legs and shoulders hurt a lot right now. I hope you guys like this chapter because I sure enjoyed writing it all! I'm probably going to start a new fic either soon or after I finish this one. I had the weirdest idea about doing a Romeo and Juliet thing. They gundam boys have to act it out in school, and it'll be AU, but in the end something happens. In their own lives a different version of it will be going on except it's not family hate this time but intolerance of homosexuality. I'm not sure if it's going to have a bittersweet or happy ending. I can explain it better later. Well anyway, I would love a review! Tell me what you think and how to improve it!
Chapter Fourteen
"What?" large amethyst eyes stared straight into Heero's Prussian blue orbs, astonished and confused at the unexpected challenge.
"If you defeat me in combat, I'll give you Wing," he repeated himself with simplicity.
"Are you serious?" Duo laughed incredulously, the tittering dying when he saw the impassive, waiting pair of eyes. "Overly confident there, or do you just not like your gundam?"
"I won't lose to you, Duo Maxwell," he stated simply. 'Not now, not ever.'
"Look, man, I don't know about this. The stakes are really high, and I don't feel like getting anyone hurt right now, ok?" He glanced at the Japanese pilot nervously.
"Not now, you baka," Heero exasperated. "You're still injured, and I wouldn't want any disadvantages. Besides there are other ways to fight." he trailed off.
"Ohhhhhh!" Duo grinned sheepishly, flushing a soft pink. 'I should have known.' "Hey! At least I got you to talk again, right?" "Hn," Heero nearly snorted.
"So a-how do you think we should fight?" a mischievous grin lit his impish, heart-shaped face. "And when?"
"You're the creative one," the other boy pointed out. "I'm a soldier, not a childish baka like you." 'Yes, he's childish and idiotic.'
A flash of pain struck Duo's expression for the briefest moment, and somehow in that moment, Heero had decided to look away, missing the crack in an almost perfect mask. "Aww, come one, Heero! I'm only fifteen. I can be serious and boring like you when the time calls." 'No way you're getting off that easy. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get you to open up so much in the past few days? I mean it's not a lot by far, but it's a really big deal for you. I know you don't mean it. You can't mean it. And you can't defeat Shinigami that easily.'
"I didn't say it wasn't normal," the Japanese youth defended his choice of words. '/ Admit it, Heero. You know that he's an adult even if he can act silly sometimes. At least he has the courage to be himself, unlike you. / If he's hiding, he's not being himself. / It's how he deals with pain. Everyone has different ways. Stop insulting him, Heero. / Urusai. / Why do you do it? Tell yourself that much at least. /'
"Oh well..." the braided one sighed softly. "The sky is beautiful tonight, don't you think?"
"I hadn't really taken note of it," in a faraway voice, Heero's tone barely reached his ears.
Duo let out a light chuckle, "You not notice something? Now that is unheard of."
"As long as it's not important," he explained.
"Come on, I'll make you notice what's beautiful!" grinning, Duo grasped onto Heero's palm, pulling the perfect soldier into an open field in full view of the night skies.
Again, the Japanese boy allowed himself to be led to another place, but this time, it was more like following Duo rather than being towed along. He wanted to be near him, yet his consciousness couldn't admit that simple fact. '/We all have needs, Heero. We need to feel like we belong. We need love and be loved. Those are so basic, so simple. / Huh? Who had said that to me?'
"It's weird-" Duo gazed upon the darkened horizon, pulling both boys to sit on the dewy grass.
"What is?"
"Being with you," he turned to smile at the Prussian eyed boy, searching him with his own set of blue-violet eyes, now deepening to a dark purple, shining in the moonlight.
"Why?"
"I've spent most of my life alone," a splinter of wist ornamented his soft voice. "It wasn't easy watching all those people die, loosing so much. You might not believe it, but I actually distanced myself from most people," he laughed almost sadly.
"I might believe more than you think," dark, midnight blue stared at the joker.
"What do you mean?" his fine brows furrowed in puzzlement.
"You're not the only one with insight on character," Heero turned away once more, to gaze at the shimmering blanket of stars painted over the dark shadows of space.
Duo grinned again, lying down with a groan, laughing at the sudden reaction it caused the alerted soldier. Surely enough, a less brooding glare was shot directly at the cheerful pilot who simply laughed harder. "Omae o korosu," he warned darkly.
"Aww, Heero." he cooed. "It'll be ok."
"Don't patronize me," growled the Japanese boy.
"You do it all the time!" Duo pointed out.
Heero grunted, "Hn, there are no standards for me. You are still a prisoner."
Duo sent a sour expression in Heero's direction, "You sure don't treat me like one," he mumbled under his breath.
"Would you like me to?" he asked softly.
"I-think I'll keep my mouth shut this time," the boy grinned. "All though..."
"I think this way is much more effective anyway," Heero murmured enigmatically.
"Huh?" sudden interest flared in glimmering, violet orbs.
"I wouldn't have gained your trust otherwise. You are in a much more dangerous position now than if I would have been beating you. You have told me things you never told those guards, haven't you?" he reminded him quietly.
Shock, hurt, and anger ignited within Duo. "Bastard," he seethed lowly. "You're a fucking bastard, Yuy." Tension sharpened the light mood in an instant, loosing the imprint of the earlier atmosphere almost completely.
"Duo-" the other soldier began.
"Save your damn breath," the braided man interjected.
"I-"
"You know, I bet the only reason you're letting me live is so I can play the fool for you, be the dumb ass that you can use to amuse yourself with," angry words streamed from his mouth.
"Would never-"
"I ain't a fool. I can't believe that I actually started to care about your well being. Do me a favor, and just tell me the fucking truth, or shut the hell up."
"Do that to you," Heero finished his sentence.
It was only then that Duo realized he had been speaking as his mind desperately tried to piece together the words. "What?" he choked out. "Do what?"
'You're everything I'm not, yet somehow we are so much alike. I feel like we can understand each other better than anything, and we both know things about each other that we didn't even know existed in ourselves. These past few days have been a strange fusion of hell and wonder. I don't understand how you can affect me this way, and make me feel things I thought were long dead. I just want to be near you, to be with you. You manage to make things more interesting and both worse and better.'
'I find myself giving you so much freedom, and surprisingly you didn't stray away. You've always kept a promise, and you never even tried to escape. You've put your life in my hands more than once, so trusting. And somehow it made me want to fight harder, to not let you down. I don't understand how you can be so trusting or why you care about me. I pushed you away, and I said I didn't trust you. You have gotten to close to me, and the boy lost within the war, the soldier you know only as Heero Yuy. I felt a fragment of peace and joy because of you. You're so much like sunshine, and yet you call yourself the God of Death.'
'When I look into those violet eyes, I almost freeze, not daring to breathe. They look so kinda and so good yet haunted by death. And I find myself wondering about you. Who is Duo Maxwell? I know that you know what I mean when I ask that question. I want answers so desperately, but at the same time it feels like that doesn't matter, and all I want to do is feel, not analyze it. Are there ever any easy answers in this subject field? It's not like math where there's one, clear answer. In here, everything is shrouded. I don't like uncertainty.'
'If I had to kill you, would I be able to? I've already failed to kill you so many times when I had every opportunity. Then I didn't have to, but what if in the future I will? I would have to, wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I be able to kill you? There's just something about you. I can't quite grasp it. It's natural to be with you and do things with you. Duo, you have made me fail so many expectations both unsaid and specified, and that is more than perilous. Even more shocking is that I-trust you, and I care about you. Imagine that.'
A subconscious confession composed itself in Heero mind while his conscious mind shut it out almost completely; the words slipping past his lips where only the tip of the iceberg. "I wouldn't and haven't used you for simply informational purposes. I'm surprised that you trust me because hardly anyone would, especially in your position."
"Who said I trusted you?" amethyst eyes narrowed.
"I can see it," Heero spoke slowly, his gaze never leaving the braided one's.
"Fine."
"I wouldn't break your trust if I don't have to. Duo, as strange as this sounds, I don't want you to be angry with me. I only told you the truth because you have granted me the same. I appreciate that after so many lies," a little tidbit of emotion made an entrance to his speech and his eyes.
"Heero," Duo smiled, instantly relieving Heero's mind, "that's like the nicest thing you have said to me since I got captured! It means a lot to me," he nodded in confirmation.
"Why do you trust me?" Heero asked him suddenly, mild interest glimmered in darken, blue pools.
"I can't honestly say that I know. There hasn't really been a reason not to." the braided boy shrugged with nonchalance. "But uh-thanks."
"What have I done?"
The violet-eyed soldier chortled lightly, "Well, you saved my life. I might have died there, you know. And just being here with me is thanks enough. It's weird, but change can be good."
"Iie," the same dark sapphires had never once left Duo's form. "It's been not all unpleasant," hesitant words slipped from his throat.
Duo unleashed a warm grin, tilting his head in observation of the Japanese pilot. Silenced reigned supreme between the slightly awkward pair of soldiers, neither knowing what to say. 'Heero, Heero, Heero, what can be said about such a strange soldier? I can remember only that time that we have known each other, but I really want to know more about my past. How in God's name could I forget someone like you? What did they do?'
"Why are you looking at me?" inquired the Japanese soldier suddenly.
At that, Duo's lips curled back into his smirk. "Trying to figure you out."
"Can you see my thoughts?"
"Not exactly, but this is just a natural human reaction," the chestnut- haired boy responded. "What do you think about when you gawk at me?"
"Who are you?" the same, familiar question was asked once more after being left alone for so long.
Smiling sadly, the braided wonder surprised the perfect soldier, "You're best friend," he spoke so lowly, the words almost sounding like a hushed whisper.
"What happened? In your dream?" the nagging curiosity returned with fervor.
"You weren't a perfect soldier then. I'm not sure you would be able to handle how innocent you were, and how you let emotions in to your life, willingly, and wanting them," warned Duo.
"Tell me," Heero persisted.
"It was a long, long time ago, more than half our lives ago," he sighed, beginning to piece together the memory. "Dr. J had selected you to train to be the perfect soldier. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that I was loosing my best friend," an inappropriate chuckle sounded at that moment as Duo gazed at the star-kissed skies.
Heero stared at the image right beside his figure, suddenly serious but still wearing a smile. 'No jokes. It obviously means a lot to him.'
"You," he turned to stare back at the grown reflection of the six-year- old boy in the same manner as before. Neither spoke for a moment until Duo decided to continue on with the tale. "I pretended that I was ok, that it was a normal day, and that we would be able to go steal some food from the dingy bakery down on 8th Street. You thought I didn't remember, and you just had to remind me. Still I was all smiles until you ordered me to let it down. You've always had a way to make me do things no matter how much I don't want. I have to admit that it was getting harder to keep it up."
"I envied your calmness even though I could see a storm brewing in those intense eyes. It was one of the saddest and most happy days of my life. You told me how you felt about everything or at least as much as you knew," the America turned his eyes downward as Heero unconsciously leaned closer to him.
"What did I say?" his words were quieter than usual.
Dark lilac eyes lifted, meeting unexpectedly with intense, Prussian blue. They nearly lost themselves in each other's gaze, and surprisingly, Duo was the first to break away. "I'll put it this way. The things you said made me love myself because your opinion mattered so much to me and more than any other person I knew or even know right now. It was so sweet," he smiled unevenly. "And in between those words, I told you almost exactly how much you had meant to me. We never really had to communicate verbally to know what was felt."
"What did you say?" Heero asked almost not wanting to hear the answer. 'Why would it matter what he thinks about me anyway? I'm just curious to if this dream could spark some memory. Nothing seems familiar, but I get the strangest feeling. And I don't know or understand what it is, but I intent to find out soon. What have you done to me, Duo Maxwell?'
His cheeks blushed softly, "Uh." he stammered nervously, shying away from Heero's intense, Prussian, blue pools. "I'm sorry. It's kind of embarrassing to say. I mean it's been a long, long time ago, and we've changed a lot. I don't want you to scoff at me or anything."
The Japanese youth swallowed, throat constricting with tension for a second unintentionally, "Onegai," he pleaded softly, a bit of emotion and nervousness stinging this monotone.
"Promise you won't scoff or laugh?" Large, blue-violet eyes stared doubtfully into his own set of dark blues.
"I promise," he vowed again in his quite voice.
"Alright," Duo sighed meaningfully, taking in a deep breath beforehand, "I was being pretty childish then, but hey, I was six. You were always the more mature one in our friendship, and I guess that hasn't changed," he attempted to lighten the serious atmosphere. "I mean, you're right, I am an idiot, especially compared to you. And-" he continued to babble on.
'No, that's not true.' "Duo." he reminded the braided pilot trifling his chestnut tresses, "what did you say?"
"I said that. that you deserved to have an identity, and now you had one or at least an alias. I was elated for you, but I still didn't have a real name that my parents gave me. You are an amazing friend and person. When I first met you, you had pulled me out from my depression and suicidal tendencies. You, Heero," he stared into enormous pools of almost black midnight blue, his voice thick with emotion. 'I'll make it through this. I mean this is in the past right? Why should that affect me so much now? /Duo, you baka. Nothing has really changed has it? / He's not the same person anymore. Now he's just an icy soldier. / You know your best friend is in there somewhere, and I know that you've seen him come out, especially in the past few days. You've never backed away from a challenge before, remember? So why are you now? /'
With renewed self-resolution, the boy in the black outfit continued on with a stronger voice, "I had a reason to live again when I saw no point," Subtle changes swirled in Heero's eyes, so small and insignificant, but Duo could notice the slight differences. 'He's not hiding so much anymore! When I first saw him, his eyes were so empty and void, but it's changed. I shouldn't get my hopes up though.'
"You caught my interest, and you were so mysterious and enigmatic; I wanted to catch your interest, too. I just had to figure you out, you know? I know about the past life you had led on L1; it was so harsh and inhuman, but you weren't like most people that lived on the streets. You were never bitter about it or hateful, and you have always put other's interests before your own. I think part of the reason you actually willingly went with the doctor was because you didn't want to see the people suffer. You have given up so much for them, and they hate you because they don't understand. It's not just because of the orders, Heero. It's because of how selfless you are, compassionate."
'No... You're wrong, Duo. Do you know how many people I've killed? How much blood is stained on my hands? How many lives I've ruined? I'm not suppose to be human.' "And you made me realize that I wouldn't be doing people a favor by dying. I mean those colonies out there," his hand gestured upward to the stars, "they need us to protect them. If I killed myself, it would have been that the oppressive government would have won. I'm not going to let that happen at least not when I'm still alive. I knew then that I wanted to fight, resist, and make a difference for the better. Maybe then I would finally be someone, and I would make them pay for all the pain and suffering. Around you I felt like something, and I would like to think that I became a better person. I liked who I was around you, but umm-you had to go. Life goes on, but it's not the same. I-" 'Loved you with all of my heart, as a friend. And that was more that enough, more than I deserved. Now I find myself wanting something else. It can't be... Can it? Just those little things about you, those little moments. I don't know anymore.'
"You what?"
"I just wanted to let you know how much you meant to me before you were gone for good," Duo improvised flawlessly, granting the dark-haired soldier with a grin.
"You're not an idiot, Duo," all of a sudden, the sentence streamed out of his mouth.
A radiant smile replaced the pilot's false grin, "Thanks."
"What else happened?"
"Well," he tapped his index finger in thought, "you got pissed off at me cuz I was putting myself down. You told me that I had an identity, that I was Duo Maxwell, your best friend. That almost made my day, and it would have if you didn't have to go. And then uh." his flushed deepened further as the braided boy glanced away from the dark blue gaze of his companion. "You kinda, sort um-kissed me," with an unsteady digit, he roughly grazed the corner of his lip where the kiss still burned in his memory.
"What?" the perfect soldier was taken a back as momentary shock crossed his Asian features. In one, miniscule blink, the stunned look was gone, replaced by the usual emotionless stare.
"Damn, Heero. Don't make me say it again..." Duo chuckled at himself, shaking his head lightly in laughter.
"I kissed you before," in his monotonous voice, the question sounded more like a statement. "I don't see why you're embarrassed about it if it was me that did it."
"Oh hush, and you KNOW what I mean. I'm not going through that not talking phase all over again," Duo began his prattling once more, leaving the almost inhuman man to ponder over his words.
"Then what?" the low baritone inquired, redirecting the American's attention back to his "dream."
"Oh right," thoughtfulness entered his expression before he spoke, "I kind of just watched you walk away in a state of shock. I mean what you felt was nothing compared to how I felt then." he trailed off. "I felt helpless, you know? All these thoughts started to flood my mind before I snapped back into reality. And then when it hit me, I ran like hell, and tackled you pretty much," the loudmouthed joker grinned. "I managed to knock you down and off your feet."
"It started to rain finally because it was one of those gloomy days with no sun. I guess the weather reflected the situation, huh? Anyway, I told you that, uh, I would find you again no matter what, and I would fight by your side. Until then, I ordered you not to die on me," He never mentioned how much he had wanted to cry or that he thought he saw Heero brush away a tear. "I knew it was for the best, so I let you go. I mean I had to do that, right? Just in case though, I followed you and that old guy, and I heard some conversation."
"What did we say?"
"Umm... He asked you something," once again, the obnoxious pilot of Deathscythe colored, cheeks reddening. "He um asked I was your," he coughed, "lover," he cleared his throat again. Impassive dark blue blinked at him once, and the braided soldier promptly erupted in laughter. "And the way you looked at him was just so hilarious! I mean your eyes were like huge, and you just stared him like what are you smoking? It's either that or how did you know?! I'm just kidding, don't worry. We didn't fuck each other silly that I know of."
"You can dream about that later," Heero spared him a wary glance though a small wisp of amusement illuminated the blue.
"Hey! If I wanted to, I could so seduce you!" his male ego somewhat deflated, Duo shot back the crude comment, his mind not really processing the words.
"Why would you want to?" Heero raised an eyebrow.
"Um... Oh hell! You know what I mean!" Duo nearly pouted at the Japanese boy.
"I wouldn't bet that you could," he spoke simply, staring straight into violet orbs as he uttered the words.
With his mouth hanging slightly open and eyes growing in enormity, Duo could only gawk back at Heero's lack of certainty. 'I'll show you, Yuy. I soooooooo could seduce you.' "Oh, hell yes I can," his voice was menacingly low an evil smirk playing on his lips.
"You have no proof," the soldier reminded Duo in a matter-of-fact tone. 'I'll never relinquish my control to you.'
"Neither do you," he fired back. 'How did I get into this argument? Ugh! I hate how he can push my buttons.'
"I know you can't," he responded coolly with assurance.
"I don't have to convince you anything," Duo replied, rolling into a kneeling position, shoulders hunched, looking like a predator with a dangerous glint in his eye.
"You're afraid," Heero stated calmly.
"I'm... not... afraid..." he enunciated each word heavily. 'Don't mess with me, Yuy.'
"I can see it," the stoic youth announced quietly.
"Damn you," Duo swore. 'Alright, that's it! I'll show you...' With every word they spoke to one another, the pair had drawn closer and closer together instinctively.
Even with every taunt Heero had uttered to the braided baka, he could have never expected that Duo would do anything about it. He failed to predict every circumstance, and that singular error could cause failure. Without warning, the American boy sprung forward, pressing against Heero's taut body, and taking advantage of the surprise, pushed the Japanese youth to lying on his back, staring incredulously into amethyst pools. "Wha-" he asked breathlessly before he felt a set of soft lips crush against his own, muffling his gasp and his words.
The forceful kiss almost unwilling softened yet nevertheless filled with the same passion that was fueled by anger. The intimate touch managed to douse the strong emotion somehow, and both boys felt more inclined to surrender to the different feeling than first intentions. Unresponsive lips began to kiss back, trembling in uncertainty and feeling. 'Duo... It feels so right somehow. I don't understand what's happening or what I feel, but right now I don't really care. It feels so strange but undeniably good. I can barely think... I'm loosing control, and I want... I want...'
Feeling his own restraint slipping away, Duo still held the most part of the control in the touch. It had been the first time since he was rescued and captured by the Japanese boy that he had been in more power, teaching the perfect soldier. The intense heat emulating from Heero only heightened his desire, and somehow even this wasn't close enough. Lips locking, he began to slowly suckle on the bottom of the Prussian-eyed boy's mouth, causing both to release a soft moan. Using his moist tongue, the American wetted Heero's lips, coaxing them to allow him entrance. They parted, and his tongue slipped into the other boy's mouth, exploring the cavern.
With his tongue, Duo explored Heero's mouth, tasting him thoroughly. Their taste buds sparred, touching, caressing, sucking, losing themselves in the moment, and the kiss. 'I'm kissing Heero. I'm actually fucking kissing Heero! Damn. And God I don't want this to stop... Nothing has ever felt so good or so right...'
"Yuy?" a surprised voice harshly whispered, alarming both soldiers as they violently tore apart. "And. And. Ma-" the stranger's voice cut off as soon as he saw the pleading look in violet pools. 'What the hell is going on?!'
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Replies to reviews.
Lora-Helen- Hey hun! Wow, thank you very much for giving me that review! I'll be sure to return the favor sometime soon with your new one. It's intriguing...
Lokogato- Thank you so much for yet another great review. It's really nice to know that people want to read this fic. Great for my self-esteem, too! Thank you for the awesome possum compliments! I hope you won't mind that it's taking me long to do this. I need breaks from computers every now and then.
Sivy- Salut! Thanks a bunch for the review because we all know how much I love getting those. The fight will have to wait a while, but if Duo wins- doesn't that mean that Heero won't have Wing anymore?! I can just imagine the stealing back and forth. I'll figure something out!
OminousuRinne- Hi! Thank you very much for giving me a review! I'm actually getting new readers? That's fabulous! I hope the last part was what you considered a move. I thought it would be very um fun. Hehehe. Anyone vote for lime in here? I'm thinking about that.
Shinigami's Voice- Hey! Danke Schon for the great, nice, long review. I love to read those. Don't hit me for not completely revealing the gundam pilot part! I really tried, but I thought that this way would be better- and stuff... I'll definitely keep in the mind the spectacular part though because that sounds like a very interesting idea. I most likely will take a while with the next chapter. I just kind of need a break from writing, writing, writing this all the time. Maybe if I start a new fic. Juggling usually isn't the greatest idea for me though... But I got the weirdest idea for a Romeo and Juliet thing where they perform the play, but something goes wrong and... Ok... I need to stop ranting. Thanks again!
Loz- Hi! It's like almost three AM right now, and I think I'll post it later this morning after I get some sleep. Mucho gracias for the review! See? Heero got to hear all about the dream in this chapter. And yeah, I actually did intend to wait it out this long this time. That usually doesn't happen, and people have to remind me. I hope you liked this part of the fic! I wonder how long this is actually going to be...
Silver Shinigami- Hey! Hey! How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while. Thanks a lot for the review! And I did not scheme. Well ok maybe a little... I mean, I wanted to see if you would actually want to read it instead of bother you with kind of proofing it all the time. And are you implying that I made a lot of OOPS's in the other chapter? I wouldn't be surprised if I had. What exactly did you need help with on PC again? It seems like you have a lot of figured out already.
Phoenix- Hi! I'm sorry about you not seeing chapter thirteen when it was up. It just didn't actually show up in the menu on chapter twelve until like a day later. Hopefully, everything is all caught up now! Don't hit me because I didn't actually reveal the gundam pilot thing yet. I just thought it would be more interesting and better this way. I feel so bad now... Thank you very much for the fabulous review!
SayianPride- Hi! Ooh, a short 'n sweet review. Thank you so much for giving one to me! I know there's probably not a whole lot to say about the chapters. Kool pen name, by the way. I had a brief obsession with that, but I didn't really have an opinion on pairings. Well I hope you liked this chapter!
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Phew! Now that I'm done answering reviews, I can do the whole ending thing. Then I have to go back through eight or nine pages double spacing just in between paragraphs so you readers have less grief trying to read this thing. If I don't do that, well everything gets smushed together! Owwie... My back and legs and shoulders hurt a lot right now. I hope you guys like this chapter because I sure enjoyed writing it all! I'm probably going to start a new fic either soon or after I finish this one. I had the weirdest idea about doing a Romeo and Juliet thing. They gundam boys have to act it out in school, and it'll be AU, but in the end something happens. In their own lives a different version of it will be going on except it's not family hate this time but intolerance of homosexuality. I'm not sure if it's going to have a bittersweet or happy ending. I can explain it better later. Well anyway, I would love a review! Tell me what you think and how to improve it!
