Crimson Tears
Chapter 18
By aznJEDI13
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Anakin and Amidala and everyone else. Heck, he owns just about everything in the story. This is purely for fan enjoyment.
Notes: This takes place during the Clone Wars. I must warn you right now that I'm not a big fan of Anakin turning into Darth Vader so it probably won't end with anything like that. I hope you like this; I've been reading too many ami/obi ones I was sooooooooooooo mad. That was completely random and I'm going to write a bunch of stories to rebel against them!
Thanks to everyone who left a review! Please continue to do so. I was so shocked, I've never had so many reviews and I enjoyed reading them over and over again so please continue! I like long reviews too!!!
Sorry I've been so absent. Life is hectic now that school's started! Look hopefully for an update a week.
Once again, Italics means flashbacks or dreams. =D
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'…I shouldn't be holding on,
but I'm still holding on for you…'
"Obi-wan!" Padme entered excitedly. She turned and looked at Obi-wan and the silence that invaded the room. She cast an awkward glance between Obi-wan and Jewel, "Did you see…it – I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"
Jewel looked away, "No," she sniffled, "I was just going. Good day, Obi-Wan," She looked at Padme cautiously before tipping her head, "Padme,"
Padme watched her leave with a look of consternation and then shook it off laughing and smiling; "He can walk! He says he fell cause he had a headache, but he can walk!"
Obi-wan looked at her solemnly, not even showing a faint smile, "You must tell him,"
She sobered, "Must I?'
He went over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Yes."
She laughed mockingly, "And lose the friend I have missed for so long?"
He shook his head, "And possibly gain the lover you have longed to hold in a comforting embrace?"
"How dare you read--"
"I did no such thing. I can tell Padme, I can tell. The complex emotions of the human heart leave no room for shielding."
"Those that have emotion." She replied bitterly.
He grimaced, "Passion, a Jedi craves not."
She wiped her eyes, ignoring the wounded look on Obi-wan's solitary face; "Anakin is…"
He cut her off, "Anakin is ready. He must know. He needs to know."
She laughed bitterly, "Everything is not as it seems Obi-wan. He is fragile."
"He is strong." His gaze strengthened.
She looked at him quizzically; "Can he take it?"
"Can you do it?"
A bitter silence filled the room accompanying a deep feeling of awkwardness, "Do not question my will, Obi-wan. Look at all I have gone through -- look at all I have survived."
"I'm sorry Padme," he touched her arm lightly, "I had no right."
Silence. An unavoidable and thoughtful silence invaded them.
She looked out the window thoughtfully and then turned to smile at Obi-wan. She sobered before she spoke, "All right,"
Her face grew with a look of determination, "Because I love him, Obi-Wan," Her eyes narrowed at him, "Because I love him. I will do it."
'…I don't care how far, I can go the distance,
'Till I find my hero's welcomed waiting in your arms…'
He was spinning; his mind spiraling in different directions. Twisting and turning. Visions, incoherent and distorted, blurred and cleared, cleared and blurred.
Cold marble floor.
Purple plush carpet.
Satin red, virgin white.
On the sheets, the smell of lilacs from her hair, vanilla scent from her skin.
He crumbled against the wall. The pain agonizing and excruciating. Holding his head in his hands as salty tears fell from his cerulean blue and down his robust framed face.
Early waking to a potent beauty and cream face.
Watching her sleep soundly; watching her wake groggily.
Pressing tiny kisses on her silk skin.
Running fingers through her auburn tresses.
He squinted, trying to rid the intense and torturing pain from the drums of his ear to the hollow of his head. His head convulsed vibrantly. He was shaking; he was cringing. The trembling agony; the terrifying torment -- it was all too overwhelming.
Tender kisses on gentle lips.
Morning laughter; sweet conversation.
Discreet movements under white sheets.
Gentle caresses on bare skin.
Bumps on his skin ran up his arms, down his legs, all over. It was cold, so cold. The headache increased. The writing pain shooting through his lanky body. Gentle hand on his shaking shoulder, another on his arm -- steadying him. Numbness; all sensation went dull.
Vision, incoherent and distorted, cleared and blurred, blurred and cleared. Dimmed out slightly; fading in and out.
"Ani…Ani…" Her voice beckoned, but faded. When it came back, it was no longer serene, but screaming his name, "Ani! Ani!"
Vision, cleared -- coherent and consistent.
Numbness dissipated; feelings came back. Two hands running steadily over his body. Shaking him madly and uncontrollably. Her voice began to echo through his ears. "Ani! Ani!"
His shaky hand reached out and grabbed her convulsing hand.
Her voice calmed as she helped him sit up, "Ani. Oh Ani."
Another hand reached out to hold his cheek as a salty tear hit his arm, she breathed out, "I was so scared," She dropped his hand to wipe her face and repeated, "So scared. I thought I was gonna lose you..."
He reached out and crushed her in an embrace, soothing, "It's all right now, everything's all right."
"What happened?" She asked when the tears had ceased from falling from her porcelain face.
"I had a terrible headache." He mumbled the only coherent thing to him right then.
"I could tell," she teased and then sobered, "But really, what?"
He chuckled, then grabbed his head briefly making worry grow on her beautiful concerned face. He shook it off, "I'm all right now…" he narrowed his eyes at her, "Really."
"See a doctor, Anakin." Her voice suggested softly.
He shook his head, "No need to."
"Ani, please," She grabbed his hand, squeezed it tightly and begged, "Please."
He shook his head, "All right, I will tomorrow," He swallowed a breath, "Can you help me to my chair please?"
Silence. A thoughtful serene silence.
"You can walk." She stated simply.
"No," He berated and then looked guilty. He looked away ashamed, "No, I can't."
Her face twisted pensively, "What do you mean you can't? You did this morning…"
Her voice trailed off as he interrupted her sentence, "I fell remember, I fell - I failed!" His voice sobered and spoke grimly, "I failed."
Unbeknownst to him, salty tears began to trail down his strapping, handsome face.
She squeezed his clasped hand again, "You walked before you fell," She squeezed it again and repeated, "You walked." Then she reached out and cupped his face with her gentle tiny hands, wiping away a tear; "You can do it."
His eyes narrowed at her and she nodded. He pushed himself up, using the wall to steady his stance. He closed his eyes and relaxed his tense arms. Began by putting his right foot right in front of his left. Like a mantra he repeated inside his head right, left, right, left, right, left…
The metal of the wheel chair rail came into contact with his rough fingers. His eyes snapped opened. He turned surprisingly to Padme as tears began to trickle down his eyes.
She nodded as glass tears too fell down her porcelain face.
He cried tears of pure joy, tears of happiness and tears of victory. Padme crushed him in an embrace as he gathered her in his arms. Crying in her hair and on the spot where the shoulder met the neck. Tasting his salt tears on her silk smooth skin. Breathing the vanilla scent from her skin and the lilacs from her hair auburn that was a pool of curls at the base of her neck.
"I did it," he breathed, wiping away tears, "I did it…"
Padme wiped her own eyes, laughing slightly, before hugging him tighter, "I know," She repeated half to herself, "I know..."
'…It's unnerving,
How just one move puts me by myself,
There you go just trusting someone else…'
"I told you, you could do it."
She released him as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He sniffled slightly and then smiled up at him, "Yes, you did…"
She reached away and smoothed his hair, "Then why are you still crying?"
He laughed gently, "I don't know."
Taking the back of his hand, he ran it down her cheek. He began to move his face closer to hers.
She swallowed hard.
"Padme, ever since we first met, I…" He began, leaning forward and quickly closing the distance between them. Just as their lips were going to meet, she pulled away frantically. He looked at her confused.
"I…I have to go," She muttered.
His brow creased pensively, "Why?"
"I…I…" She went to the door and answered aggravated, "Just remembered I have to do something…"
To be continued…
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