Losing Control And Finding Your Heart Chapter 6: The Enemy Within
Disclaimer: Ok.say it with me now.I don't own X-Men Evolution. Rogue and Scott have just moved into my brain because I'm nicer to them than the real writers of the show. Oh, with Scott unconscious, anytime you see / / with text between them, it's Rogue experiencing his thoughts/memories.
Dedication: to the woman who gives me the strength to fight my own demons, both literal and metaphorical. I love you.
Special Thanks: as usual to my wonderfully supportive reviewers. I can't thank you guys enough for all the nice things you've said.
And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages (old enough to deal with an R rating *wink * ) let's get ready to rumble!
Rogue sat on the lawn, holding Scott's prone form in her lap for five minutes, just memorizing the his face without his glasses and running her gloved fingers through his fine brown hair, still reeling from the raw emotion behind his declaration of love. She considered lugging him to the med center in the basement to make sure he was alright, but placing a hand over his heart she detected a strong steady beat and his breathing seemed to be regular. * Screw the med center. Ah've absorbed enough people by now to know that at most he'll be out for a couple of hours and wake up with one hell of a headache. It's not like he's not breathing or has no pulse * She thought. Plus, a trip to the med center, full of machinery she couldn't identify and wouldn't know how to hook up if she could, would mean calling Hank in Argentina to ask for help, in turn leading to a discussion about why Scott was unconscious. * Ah'm just not ready to tell anyone about that yet. Heck, Ah have to wait on him to wake up to tell him that I love him. There's no way that anyone else gets to find out about that before he does. * Her mind made up, she shifted Scott to the ground gently for a moment so she could stand. Bending at the waist, she lifted her unconscious love and unceremoniously slung him over her shoulder, thankful that Scott was a bit stronger than she was naturally, otherwise it'd have been a pain to carry him like that. With a smile, she began walking back towards the mansion * God, why don't Ah ever have a camera when Ah need it? * She was halfway to the back door when an urgent thought flashed across her mind about taking the candelabra back in after dinner. /She could see Scott picking the lock on the silver cabinet and carefully removing it and placing it in his bag before heading back to the stairs/. * You're lucky Ah love you Summers, cause even unconscious you can be a pain in my ass* However as she walked back to retrieve the antique candelabra, she had to admit a grudging respect for the man on her shoulder. * Never would have thought he had the guts to even try to pick a lock, let alone know how to.* She hefted the beautifully crafted candelabra in her free hand and once again headed back to the mansion. * Ah guess it's just one of those little things Ah'm going to learn about him. Ah just hope Ah won't have to do all my learning by him knocking himself out to kiss me * She grinned at the thought, * Then again, he is one hell of a kisser. There are worse ways Ah could learn about him*. Arriving on the back porch of the mansion, Rogue set the candelabra down momentarily and opened the door before picking it back up and heading inside. * First things first. Ah'll get Scott comfortable somewhere then Ah'll put this back where it belongs. But where would he be most comfortable? * She briefly considered taking him up to his room when another memory flashed across her mind / a ton of clothes flying out of the closet and landing on the bed and floor. Scott standing in just his boxers../ She quickly shut her mind to the image, a blush appearing on her cheeks. * Damn, Ah should have gone up there sooner. Ok, so his room is out of the question. Although Ah may do him a favor and destroy that ugly green and orange tiger thing while Ah have his powers. But where should Ah leave him? * A slow grin spread across her face as she realized somewhere she could leave him where they'd both be comfortable.
Rogue gently laid Scott down on her bed and stretched her arms up over her head. Even with the strength boost she'd gotten from him, it still made her a little sore carrying dead weight up the stairs and down the hall. Stepping back from the bed she felt her heart tighten in her chest as she looked at him laying in her bed. How many times had she fantasized about this very moment? * Ok..so in my fantasies we both had a lot less clothing on, and we were both conscious, but this is a start* she smiled and leaned over, kissing the top of his head lightly before picking up the candelabra from her night stand where she'd set it so she'd have both hands free to put Scott on her bed. Walking out of the room to the silver cabinet, she wondered briefly what the hell Scott had used to pick the lock in the first place, and why the hell had he relocked the damn thing after taking the candelabra. When no memory came to her on it's own, she closed her eyes and concentrated, drawing Scott's memories to the fore of her mind./ She could see a thin, short piece of metal in Scott's hand, with a flattened head, almost like a tiny screwdriver, as he slid it into the lock, wiggling it until with a distinctive click the door popped open. The reverse movement relocked the cabinet and he put the lock picking tool into his front pocket before going back to the stairs./ * My god, Ah'm gonna have to get it out of there? * she thought incredulously * Is there some vast universal conspiracy to tempt me with things Ah can't have?* She briefly considered removing his glasses and just blasting the lock open * Nah, that might be just a little too obvious* With an exasperated sigh, she set the candelabra down by the cabinet and walked back to her room and the unconscious man on her bed. Carefully she knelt by the bed and slipped her hand into his left pocket. His surprisingly empty left pocket. * Wrong pocket! * blushing furiously she tried again, this time reaching into his right pocket and slowly pulling out the lock picking tool. Relieved, she practically ran back to the silver cabinet, trying very hard not to think of how close to certain body parts her hand had just been. *Alright, Ah just have to focus, how'd he do this again? * her brow furrowed in concentration, she slid the tool into the lock, carefully wiggling it until she felt the lock pop and the door crack open a bit. Smiling, she put the candelabra back into the cabinet and relocked it. * It was romantic as hell Scott, but that damn thing was almost more trouble than it was worth *. Almost of it's own volition, her hand gently went back to her lips as she regarded the silver cabinet and its contents * Alright, it was more than worth it that he took such pains to be a romantic* With a smile she walked back to her bedroom and her love.
Climbing onto her bed, Rogue wondered what the best position would be for her to be in when he eventually woke up. Even though nothing sexual had happened, she suspected strongly that Scott would freak out just a little on waking up if she were curled up around him or laying on top of him * Might be worth it to see his face * she thought evilly. Evil thoughts aside, she realized that they'd crossed a threshold tonight, and now the lines would be even more blurred. Sighing, she leaned back against the headboard, crossing her legs and pulling Scott's head into her lap, gently running her fingers through his hair as if that would unlock the answer to all of the problems ahead of them. * What about when he wants something sexual to happen? What about when Ah do? * she wondered. Could their relationship really survive after a point with no physical intimacy. * Ah don't think he's some kind of sex fiend, and neither am Ah.but sex is still a big part of relationships" she thought despondently. " What am Ah gonna do with you handsome?" she asked the unconscious man. Looking down at him, his face completely relaxed and untroubled as if he were simply sleeping and not in something akin to a coma, she felt her despondency harden into resolve to find a way to control her powers; for the sake of their relationship, but also more importantly, for herself. Glancing at her alarm clock she saw that it had been just a little over fifteen minutes since Scott had lost consciousness. * Ah've got at least an hour and forty-five minutes before he wakes up. Ah should make the most of it*. With one final glance at Scott, she closed her eyes and began one of the meditation exercises the Professor had taught her, hoping that this time things would be different.
It was dark in her subconscious, of course it normally was without the Professor there to help her " turn on the lights" such as they were, and yet she could see everything clearly, if there was a slightly red tinge to her vision. With a start she realized that even in her subconscious mind she possessed Scott's power; reaching up she could feel his sunglasses still in place on her face and she smiled, it was somehow comforting to know that he was still with her in some form. Glancing around she could see the familiar cages she had once kept the psyches of those she absorbed locked away in, each with the owner's name distinctly printed on a placard in front of each. She'd come to think of her mind as a prison for them until the Professor had convinced her to let the psyches out of the cages for their sake and hers. They weren't gone by a long shot, just relocated. During their first session together, the Professor had explained that the reason the psyches were able to make her feel she was losing control was because of the cages. In locking the memories and experiences of those she'd absorbed away, she was fighting her own power, and in essence, fighting herself. The psyches, particularly those of cunning and manipulative people like Magneto and Mystique, were able to take advantage of her fighting herself to exercise more control over her own psyche. Over the next few sessions they had worked together to help her more fully absorb the experiences into herself, storing them in what she had dubbed a mental filing cabinet. Surprisingly, it was easier to ignore the psyches when they had been filed away, literally, and she had found that she could even reopen the files when she needed to if she concentrated hard enough, without losing any control. It was almost as if the psyches had calmed down because they were occasionally brought out. Those with pertinent information, or recently absorbed, were the thickest files, and those absorbed years ago, or without any useful information for her were usually no more than a "page" in length.
Walking to her mental filing cabinet Rogue couldn't resist opening the drawer marked " S" and pulling Scott's "file". Opening it she was overcome by the force of his love and his memories. /She saw Scott staring at her longingly in drama class..his concern for her the night she had come to him in just her night gown and gloves.his shock and attraction to her when he saw her in the hot tub..his realization that he loved her in the Fresh Stop parking lot../ Reluctantly she closed the file, putting it back in its spot in the drawer and closing it before moving on to the "R" drawer. It was a puzzle to both herself and the Professor that in all of their sessions, they had never found a file on Rogue herself. It was almost as if some part of her own psyche was missing, or perhaps locked away somewhere. Despite multiple searches, both with the Professor and on her own, she still hadn't found it, and she was convinced that finding that file would provide her with the key to controlling her powers. *If it can be found at all * she mused, pulling the drawer out and sitting down on the floor, flipping through the files in alphabetical order until she got to where hers should have been. * Ah guess it was a little much to hope that Scott declaring his love for me would make it magically appear * she sighed * After all, my life is a Shakespearean tragedy, not a fairy tale *. Determined to find the blasted file if it took until Scott's power drained from her and he woke up, she began systematically going through each and every drawer, however it was no use. Her own file just didn't exist it seemed. " No!" she screamed, slamming her fist into the gutted filing cabinet " It's not fair! Ah was just born this way.Ah didn't ask to be a mutant.Ah just want to be loved. Is that so much to ask?" Slumping against the cabinet, she let her tears flow, resting her head in her arms. She was about to end the meditation, when she heard a voice coming from behind her. " What ever is the matter dear child? * Ah know that voice * She quickly spun around, rising to her feet in one smooth motion to face the speaker, Raven Darkholme; Mystique.
Standing not five feet from her was a slender, dark haired, cruel faced woman, smirking as if she knew all the answers to Rogue's questions and had no intention of telling what they were. Which in all likelihood was the truth, as in her hands was a moderately thick file. Without even seeing the name on it Rogue knew it was hers " What're you doing out of your drawer skank? And what the hell are you doing with my file?" Rogue growled, taking a step towards the other woman. Darkholme's smile only widened at her reaction, " What language! Is that anyway to talk to your elders? As to what am I doing out?" she laughed coldly, " What makes you think I was ever in your precious little filing cabinet to begin with? All I had to do was lay low like a good little girl and you and that fool Xavier thought you had me under control. And why wouldn't I have this file? After all, I was your principal. It's only fitting that I should have your permanent record in my possession." " Give it back bitch, and Ah mean now!" Rogue advanced on the manipulative shape shifter, her hands balling instinctively into fists. Unconcerned, Mystique stepped back, shifting into her true blue skinned form, idly leafing through the file in her hands, " Why on earth would you want it? It's a rather dull read. I'd say it was almost Dickinson in the wretchedness of the protagonist's life, but that would be an insult to Dickens" as she continued to back up, the landscape of Rogue's mind underwent a transformation of its own until it resembled the cemetery she had fled to the night her powers had manifested in full. " Oh, I know..it's young mister Summers, isn't it? You still think he'd want a pathetic excuse for a mutant like yourself. How could he? You can't even touch him." She grinned, shape shifting to look like Jean " I however, can.". Rogue could feel her rage boiling up inside of her as all her private fears about her and Scott were laid bare. " You know it. Admit it Rogue, you're not good enough for Scott, you never will be. In fact, I'd be doing you a favor if I were to destroy this pesky file". Rogue stopped dead in her tracks, " No!" " How could I not help a fellow teammate?" "Jean" asked with a twisted smile as she pulled a lighter out of her pocket and flicked it on. Horrified, Rogue found herself unable to move as "Jean" touched the flame to the file with a patently insincere " Oops".
As the fire consumed her file, Rogue felt something snap inside of her. With a scream of pure rage, pain and frustration, she closed the distance between herself and "Jean" swinging a savage punch that miraculously caught the shape shifter off guard and rocked her back into a tombstone, splitting "Jean's" lip with the force of the blow. Mystique smiled, licking the blood away as she shifted back into her true form. " Is that the best you can do? Now I know why I left you with Irene all those years. I'd be embarrassed to call you my daughter. You punch like a girl.". Rogue swung at the shape shifter again, but this time Mystique was prepared and easily back flipped away from the attack. " Really, trying to fight in that ridiculous skirt. What next? Running away from an axe murderer in high heels?" Mystique sneered, closing quickly and snapping Rogue's head back with a well placed kick " Observe the freedom of an outfit with nice long slits up the leg. Oh wait, I guess you couldn't wear something like this. You'd be too afraid of hurting someone accidentally". Another powerful kick caught Rogue in her chest, knocking her over a headstone, almost knocking Scott's glasses from her face as she hit the ground. * Ah've got to do something * she thought desperately. When she stood again, she was shocked to find her skirt and turtle neck gone, replaced by her own X-Men uniform * How on earth did Ah do that? * she wondered. Unfortunately, Mystique wasn't about to let her experiment to find out. Standing on the top of a mausoleum behind Rogue, she dove off, driving both of her feet into her daughter's spine.
Rogue bit back a scream, not wanting to give Mystique the satisfaction of knowing how much that had hurt. " Alright bitch, my turn!" she snarled. Quickly, vaulting a headstone, she slammed both feet into Mystique's face and pushed off of it with her arms, sending her body weight through the motion, driving Mystique's head into the ground and bounding off. " How'd you like that little move, mama?" Rogue asked, sarcasm dripping from every word " Ah mean, Ah could do it again if you think Ah need the practice." " You pathetic little bitch" Mystique wheezed, her nose obviously shattered, " You're going to pay for that..in blood". Faster than Rogue could react, the blue skinned mutant tackled her to the ground and straddled her waist, driving punch after punch into Rogue's ribcage. * Ah can't let her beat me * Rogue thought as another blow slammed home, and she heard something snap, followed by a burning pain in her chest. She screamed in pain, and lashed out blindly, striking Mystique in the throat and causing her to fall off, gasping for air. She stood up weakly, protecting her side with one arm and moved to kick Mystique in the throat, hoping to end it quickly. Unfortunately, even injured the shape shifter was far from vulnerable. Her arm bulged suddenly with muscles, until it was as large as Juggernaut's and she slammed a boulder sized fist into Rogue's knee, shattering it and dropping the young X-Man to the ground, tears in her eyes. Mystique rose slowly, almost mockingly taking her time in moving and gracefully leapt to the top of a nearby mausoleum, leaning against the marble angel that topped it. " I have to give it to you Rogue, you tried. You really gave it your best shot to beat me," she smiled mockingly, shifting into Raven Darkholme, " You deserve an A for effort really." She shifted back to her true form and continued, " I think I'll give you a D for death instead. Like I should have when you were born, you useless, pathetic nothing! I offered you power, more power than you could ever imagine. A chance to stand at the side of those who will rule the world, and you gave it all up. For what? A boy? A foolish dream of a old, bald cripple? You can't even beat me in your own mind. What use could you be to anyone? I'll be doing Xavier a favor by ending you now, though I hate to admit it. Goodbye Rogue. I'll see you in hell". She prepared to leap down onto her daughter's chest and crush it when she found herself wrapped in the stone wings of the angel she had been leaning on and held tight. " What the fuck?!". Slowly, determinedly Rogue pushed herself to her feet, no evidence of pain in her face or stance at all. " No! It's not possible. I can't lose, not now!" Mystique howled, writhing against her restraints. " You said it bitch. It's my mind. That means my rules, not yours." Rogue smiled coldly, raising a hand to the edge of Scott's glasses which had somehow stayed on throughout the fight "Goodbye.mama" She slowly pulled the glasses off and stared directly at the woman trapped within the angel's wings, unleashing a bright red beam of pure energy that shattered both the angel and its prisoner. Exhausted, Rogue closed her eyes and put the glasses back on, slumping to the cold ground.
If she had had the energy after the fight, she probably would have cried, but she just couldn't. The tears would probably come later when she was alone, just like she would always be. * There went my last chance to find out how to control these powers * she thought. " You're not gonna blow me up too, are you?" asked a timid, frightened, and hauntingly familiar voice. Looking up, Rogue found herself staring into her own eyes. The wide and frightened eyes she had that fateful first night she found out she was a mutant. " Why would Ah do that sugah?" she asked, standing slowly to look at herself. Her mental twin motioned to her dirty and torn uniform, " You're one of them, aren't you? Those mutant hunters, the X-Men.". Despite what she'd just been though Rogue managed a chuckle, and a proud smile " Yea, I'm an X-Man. But you've got it wrong, we aren't mutant hunters, we work to help mutants and humans alike. We're the good guys. Mystique, the woman you just saw go off like a fourth of July celebration, and Irene, they lied to you sugah.". Mental Rogue, what Rogue dubbed her "twin" for lack of a better term, looked at her incredulously " How do you know Irene? Did you do something to her?" she asked pulling off her gloves and taking a step towards the battered X-Man. Rogue, smiled at her mental twin's audacity and loyalty, glad that she'd finally turned that loyalty to people who deserved it, " No, Ah didn't hurt Irene, she hurt me. Well, you.us" she said only slightly confused. Mental Rouge paused, " What've you been smoking?" she asked. " You don't see it?" Rogue replied with a smile, ignoring the sarcasm * God, am Ah really that bad? * " I'm you. A little older, a lot wiser, but still you." " Ah might be some sort of freak," her mental twin argued, " but Ah don't remember being able to blow shit up with my eyes". Rogue's smile widened " No, you can't blow shit up with your eyes. But you know one hell of a kisser who can". " Ah ask again, what have you been smoking?" Mental Rouge said, totally confused by this stranger who claimed to be her. Rogue sighed and pulled off her gloves, without a word of explanation, she grabbed her mental twin's hands. Memories, images, and feelings flowed freely between her two selves for several moments until simultaneously backed away from each other in awe. " Ah...we..did all that? Helped all those people" Mental Rogue asked, tears of happiness in her eyes. " We sure did" " And that boy? Scott..he really loves us?" Rogue felt a huge smile spread across her face as she answered, " Yes, he really does." Her mental twin stared at her for a moment, considering something carefully " Let me see your hands, like this" She demonstrated, holding her hand straight up, palm outward as if she was going to high five herself. Curious, Rogue did as she was asked and her mental twin met her palms with her own before slowly melting, flowing really, into Rogue's body. As the last of her mental twin disappeared within her, Rogue felt different somehow. * Ah know how to control my powers * she realized excitedly * but how? * * Just what, or rather who, do you think was in that file marked Rogue?* came a faint answer * You above all people should know what kind of trickster Mystique can be. If she'd really burned your psyche, she'd have destroyed herself too. Now, when do Ah get to meet Scott? * " Ah'd say right about now" Rogue muttered happily, feeling Scott's powers draining from her body. With a final thought of thanks to her mental twin, Rogue brought herself out of the meditative state, and placed Scott's glasses back on his face, waiting for the moment her love would reawaken.
Disclaimer: Ok.say it with me now.I don't own X-Men Evolution. Rogue and Scott have just moved into my brain because I'm nicer to them than the real writers of the show. Oh, with Scott unconscious, anytime you see / / with text between them, it's Rogue experiencing his thoughts/memories.
Dedication: to the woman who gives me the strength to fight my own demons, both literal and metaphorical. I love you.
Special Thanks: as usual to my wonderfully supportive reviewers. I can't thank you guys enough for all the nice things you've said.
And now ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages (old enough to deal with an R rating *wink * ) let's get ready to rumble!
Rogue sat on the lawn, holding Scott's prone form in her lap for five minutes, just memorizing the his face without his glasses and running her gloved fingers through his fine brown hair, still reeling from the raw emotion behind his declaration of love. She considered lugging him to the med center in the basement to make sure he was alright, but placing a hand over his heart she detected a strong steady beat and his breathing seemed to be regular. * Screw the med center. Ah've absorbed enough people by now to know that at most he'll be out for a couple of hours and wake up with one hell of a headache. It's not like he's not breathing or has no pulse * She thought. Plus, a trip to the med center, full of machinery she couldn't identify and wouldn't know how to hook up if she could, would mean calling Hank in Argentina to ask for help, in turn leading to a discussion about why Scott was unconscious. * Ah'm just not ready to tell anyone about that yet. Heck, Ah have to wait on him to wake up to tell him that I love him. There's no way that anyone else gets to find out about that before he does. * Her mind made up, she shifted Scott to the ground gently for a moment so she could stand. Bending at the waist, she lifted her unconscious love and unceremoniously slung him over her shoulder, thankful that Scott was a bit stronger than she was naturally, otherwise it'd have been a pain to carry him like that. With a smile, she began walking back towards the mansion * God, why don't Ah ever have a camera when Ah need it? * She was halfway to the back door when an urgent thought flashed across her mind about taking the candelabra back in after dinner. /She could see Scott picking the lock on the silver cabinet and carefully removing it and placing it in his bag before heading back to the stairs/. * You're lucky Ah love you Summers, cause even unconscious you can be a pain in my ass* However as she walked back to retrieve the antique candelabra, she had to admit a grudging respect for the man on her shoulder. * Never would have thought he had the guts to even try to pick a lock, let alone know how to.* She hefted the beautifully crafted candelabra in her free hand and once again headed back to the mansion. * Ah guess it's just one of those little things Ah'm going to learn about him. Ah just hope Ah won't have to do all my learning by him knocking himself out to kiss me * She grinned at the thought, * Then again, he is one hell of a kisser. There are worse ways Ah could learn about him*. Arriving on the back porch of the mansion, Rogue set the candelabra down momentarily and opened the door before picking it back up and heading inside. * First things first. Ah'll get Scott comfortable somewhere then Ah'll put this back where it belongs. But where would he be most comfortable? * She briefly considered taking him up to his room when another memory flashed across her mind / a ton of clothes flying out of the closet and landing on the bed and floor. Scott standing in just his boxers../ She quickly shut her mind to the image, a blush appearing on her cheeks. * Damn, Ah should have gone up there sooner. Ok, so his room is out of the question. Although Ah may do him a favor and destroy that ugly green and orange tiger thing while Ah have his powers. But where should Ah leave him? * A slow grin spread across her face as she realized somewhere she could leave him where they'd both be comfortable.
Rogue gently laid Scott down on her bed and stretched her arms up over her head. Even with the strength boost she'd gotten from him, it still made her a little sore carrying dead weight up the stairs and down the hall. Stepping back from the bed she felt her heart tighten in her chest as she looked at him laying in her bed. How many times had she fantasized about this very moment? * Ok..so in my fantasies we both had a lot less clothing on, and we were both conscious, but this is a start* she smiled and leaned over, kissing the top of his head lightly before picking up the candelabra from her night stand where she'd set it so she'd have both hands free to put Scott on her bed. Walking out of the room to the silver cabinet, she wondered briefly what the hell Scott had used to pick the lock in the first place, and why the hell had he relocked the damn thing after taking the candelabra. When no memory came to her on it's own, she closed her eyes and concentrated, drawing Scott's memories to the fore of her mind./ She could see a thin, short piece of metal in Scott's hand, with a flattened head, almost like a tiny screwdriver, as he slid it into the lock, wiggling it until with a distinctive click the door popped open. The reverse movement relocked the cabinet and he put the lock picking tool into his front pocket before going back to the stairs./ * My god, Ah'm gonna have to get it out of there? * she thought incredulously * Is there some vast universal conspiracy to tempt me with things Ah can't have?* She briefly considered removing his glasses and just blasting the lock open * Nah, that might be just a little too obvious* With an exasperated sigh, she set the candelabra down by the cabinet and walked back to her room and the unconscious man on her bed. Carefully she knelt by the bed and slipped her hand into his left pocket. His surprisingly empty left pocket. * Wrong pocket! * blushing furiously she tried again, this time reaching into his right pocket and slowly pulling out the lock picking tool. Relieved, she practically ran back to the silver cabinet, trying very hard not to think of how close to certain body parts her hand had just been. *Alright, Ah just have to focus, how'd he do this again? * her brow furrowed in concentration, she slid the tool into the lock, carefully wiggling it until she felt the lock pop and the door crack open a bit. Smiling, she put the candelabra back into the cabinet and relocked it. * It was romantic as hell Scott, but that damn thing was almost more trouble than it was worth *. Almost of it's own volition, her hand gently went back to her lips as she regarded the silver cabinet and its contents * Alright, it was more than worth it that he took such pains to be a romantic* With a smile she walked back to her bedroom and her love.
Climbing onto her bed, Rogue wondered what the best position would be for her to be in when he eventually woke up. Even though nothing sexual had happened, she suspected strongly that Scott would freak out just a little on waking up if she were curled up around him or laying on top of him * Might be worth it to see his face * she thought evilly. Evil thoughts aside, she realized that they'd crossed a threshold tonight, and now the lines would be even more blurred. Sighing, she leaned back against the headboard, crossing her legs and pulling Scott's head into her lap, gently running her fingers through his hair as if that would unlock the answer to all of the problems ahead of them. * What about when he wants something sexual to happen? What about when Ah do? * she wondered. Could their relationship really survive after a point with no physical intimacy. * Ah don't think he's some kind of sex fiend, and neither am Ah.but sex is still a big part of relationships" she thought despondently. " What am Ah gonna do with you handsome?" she asked the unconscious man. Looking down at him, his face completely relaxed and untroubled as if he were simply sleeping and not in something akin to a coma, she felt her despondency harden into resolve to find a way to control her powers; for the sake of their relationship, but also more importantly, for herself. Glancing at her alarm clock she saw that it had been just a little over fifteen minutes since Scott had lost consciousness. * Ah've got at least an hour and forty-five minutes before he wakes up. Ah should make the most of it*. With one final glance at Scott, she closed her eyes and began one of the meditation exercises the Professor had taught her, hoping that this time things would be different.
It was dark in her subconscious, of course it normally was without the Professor there to help her " turn on the lights" such as they were, and yet she could see everything clearly, if there was a slightly red tinge to her vision. With a start she realized that even in her subconscious mind she possessed Scott's power; reaching up she could feel his sunglasses still in place on her face and she smiled, it was somehow comforting to know that he was still with her in some form. Glancing around she could see the familiar cages she had once kept the psyches of those she absorbed locked away in, each with the owner's name distinctly printed on a placard in front of each. She'd come to think of her mind as a prison for them until the Professor had convinced her to let the psyches out of the cages for their sake and hers. They weren't gone by a long shot, just relocated. During their first session together, the Professor had explained that the reason the psyches were able to make her feel she was losing control was because of the cages. In locking the memories and experiences of those she'd absorbed away, she was fighting her own power, and in essence, fighting herself. The psyches, particularly those of cunning and manipulative people like Magneto and Mystique, were able to take advantage of her fighting herself to exercise more control over her own psyche. Over the next few sessions they had worked together to help her more fully absorb the experiences into herself, storing them in what she had dubbed a mental filing cabinet. Surprisingly, it was easier to ignore the psyches when they had been filed away, literally, and she had found that she could even reopen the files when she needed to if she concentrated hard enough, without losing any control. It was almost as if the psyches had calmed down because they were occasionally brought out. Those with pertinent information, or recently absorbed, were the thickest files, and those absorbed years ago, or without any useful information for her were usually no more than a "page" in length.
Walking to her mental filing cabinet Rogue couldn't resist opening the drawer marked " S" and pulling Scott's "file". Opening it she was overcome by the force of his love and his memories. /She saw Scott staring at her longingly in drama class..his concern for her the night she had come to him in just her night gown and gloves.his shock and attraction to her when he saw her in the hot tub..his realization that he loved her in the Fresh Stop parking lot../ Reluctantly she closed the file, putting it back in its spot in the drawer and closing it before moving on to the "R" drawer. It was a puzzle to both herself and the Professor that in all of their sessions, they had never found a file on Rogue herself. It was almost as if some part of her own psyche was missing, or perhaps locked away somewhere. Despite multiple searches, both with the Professor and on her own, she still hadn't found it, and she was convinced that finding that file would provide her with the key to controlling her powers. *If it can be found at all * she mused, pulling the drawer out and sitting down on the floor, flipping through the files in alphabetical order until she got to where hers should have been. * Ah guess it was a little much to hope that Scott declaring his love for me would make it magically appear * she sighed * After all, my life is a Shakespearean tragedy, not a fairy tale *. Determined to find the blasted file if it took until Scott's power drained from her and he woke up, she began systematically going through each and every drawer, however it was no use. Her own file just didn't exist it seemed. " No!" she screamed, slamming her fist into the gutted filing cabinet " It's not fair! Ah was just born this way.Ah didn't ask to be a mutant.Ah just want to be loved. Is that so much to ask?" Slumping against the cabinet, she let her tears flow, resting her head in her arms. She was about to end the meditation, when she heard a voice coming from behind her. " What ever is the matter dear child? * Ah know that voice * She quickly spun around, rising to her feet in one smooth motion to face the speaker, Raven Darkholme; Mystique.
Standing not five feet from her was a slender, dark haired, cruel faced woman, smirking as if she knew all the answers to Rogue's questions and had no intention of telling what they were. Which in all likelihood was the truth, as in her hands was a moderately thick file. Without even seeing the name on it Rogue knew it was hers " What're you doing out of your drawer skank? And what the hell are you doing with my file?" Rogue growled, taking a step towards the other woman. Darkholme's smile only widened at her reaction, " What language! Is that anyway to talk to your elders? As to what am I doing out?" she laughed coldly, " What makes you think I was ever in your precious little filing cabinet to begin with? All I had to do was lay low like a good little girl and you and that fool Xavier thought you had me under control. And why wouldn't I have this file? After all, I was your principal. It's only fitting that I should have your permanent record in my possession." " Give it back bitch, and Ah mean now!" Rogue advanced on the manipulative shape shifter, her hands balling instinctively into fists. Unconcerned, Mystique stepped back, shifting into her true blue skinned form, idly leafing through the file in her hands, " Why on earth would you want it? It's a rather dull read. I'd say it was almost Dickinson in the wretchedness of the protagonist's life, but that would be an insult to Dickens" as she continued to back up, the landscape of Rogue's mind underwent a transformation of its own until it resembled the cemetery she had fled to the night her powers had manifested in full. " Oh, I know..it's young mister Summers, isn't it? You still think he'd want a pathetic excuse for a mutant like yourself. How could he? You can't even touch him." She grinned, shape shifting to look like Jean " I however, can.". Rogue could feel her rage boiling up inside of her as all her private fears about her and Scott were laid bare. " You know it. Admit it Rogue, you're not good enough for Scott, you never will be. In fact, I'd be doing you a favor if I were to destroy this pesky file". Rogue stopped dead in her tracks, " No!" " How could I not help a fellow teammate?" "Jean" asked with a twisted smile as she pulled a lighter out of her pocket and flicked it on. Horrified, Rogue found herself unable to move as "Jean" touched the flame to the file with a patently insincere " Oops".
As the fire consumed her file, Rogue felt something snap inside of her. With a scream of pure rage, pain and frustration, she closed the distance between herself and "Jean" swinging a savage punch that miraculously caught the shape shifter off guard and rocked her back into a tombstone, splitting "Jean's" lip with the force of the blow. Mystique smiled, licking the blood away as she shifted back into her true form. " Is that the best you can do? Now I know why I left you with Irene all those years. I'd be embarrassed to call you my daughter. You punch like a girl.". Rogue swung at the shape shifter again, but this time Mystique was prepared and easily back flipped away from the attack. " Really, trying to fight in that ridiculous skirt. What next? Running away from an axe murderer in high heels?" Mystique sneered, closing quickly and snapping Rogue's head back with a well placed kick " Observe the freedom of an outfit with nice long slits up the leg. Oh wait, I guess you couldn't wear something like this. You'd be too afraid of hurting someone accidentally". Another powerful kick caught Rogue in her chest, knocking her over a headstone, almost knocking Scott's glasses from her face as she hit the ground. * Ah've got to do something * she thought desperately. When she stood again, she was shocked to find her skirt and turtle neck gone, replaced by her own X-Men uniform * How on earth did Ah do that? * she wondered. Unfortunately, Mystique wasn't about to let her experiment to find out. Standing on the top of a mausoleum behind Rogue, she dove off, driving both of her feet into her daughter's spine.
Rogue bit back a scream, not wanting to give Mystique the satisfaction of knowing how much that had hurt. " Alright bitch, my turn!" she snarled. Quickly, vaulting a headstone, she slammed both feet into Mystique's face and pushed off of it with her arms, sending her body weight through the motion, driving Mystique's head into the ground and bounding off. " How'd you like that little move, mama?" Rogue asked, sarcasm dripping from every word " Ah mean, Ah could do it again if you think Ah need the practice." " You pathetic little bitch" Mystique wheezed, her nose obviously shattered, " You're going to pay for that..in blood". Faster than Rogue could react, the blue skinned mutant tackled her to the ground and straddled her waist, driving punch after punch into Rogue's ribcage. * Ah can't let her beat me * Rogue thought as another blow slammed home, and she heard something snap, followed by a burning pain in her chest. She screamed in pain, and lashed out blindly, striking Mystique in the throat and causing her to fall off, gasping for air. She stood up weakly, protecting her side with one arm and moved to kick Mystique in the throat, hoping to end it quickly. Unfortunately, even injured the shape shifter was far from vulnerable. Her arm bulged suddenly with muscles, until it was as large as Juggernaut's and she slammed a boulder sized fist into Rogue's knee, shattering it and dropping the young X-Man to the ground, tears in her eyes. Mystique rose slowly, almost mockingly taking her time in moving and gracefully leapt to the top of a nearby mausoleum, leaning against the marble angel that topped it. " I have to give it to you Rogue, you tried. You really gave it your best shot to beat me," she smiled mockingly, shifting into Raven Darkholme, " You deserve an A for effort really." She shifted back to her true form and continued, " I think I'll give you a D for death instead. Like I should have when you were born, you useless, pathetic nothing! I offered you power, more power than you could ever imagine. A chance to stand at the side of those who will rule the world, and you gave it all up. For what? A boy? A foolish dream of a old, bald cripple? You can't even beat me in your own mind. What use could you be to anyone? I'll be doing Xavier a favor by ending you now, though I hate to admit it. Goodbye Rogue. I'll see you in hell". She prepared to leap down onto her daughter's chest and crush it when she found herself wrapped in the stone wings of the angel she had been leaning on and held tight. " What the fuck?!". Slowly, determinedly Rogue pushed herself to her feet, no evidence of pain in her face or stance at all. " No! It's not possible. I can't lose, not now!" Mystique howled, writhing against her restraints. " You said it bitch. It's my mind. That means my rules, not yours." Rogue smiled coldly, raising a hand to the edge of Scott's glasses which had somehow stayed on throughout the fight "Goodbye.mama" She slowly pulled the glasses off and stared directly at the woman trapped within the angel's wings, unleashing a bright red beam of pure energy that shattered both the angel and its prisoner. Exhausted, Rogue closed her eyes and put the glasses back on, slumping to the cold ground.
If she had had the energy after the fight, she probably would have cried, but she just couldn't. The tears would probably come later when she was alone, just like she would always be. * There went my last chance to find out how to control these powers * she thought. " You're not gonna blow me up too, are you?" asked a timid, frightened, and hauntingly familiar voice. Looking up, Rogue found herself staring into her own eyes. The wide and frightened eyes she had that fateful first night she found out she was a mutant. " Why would Ah do that sugah?" she asked, standing slowly to look at herself. Her mental twin motioned to her dirty and torn uniform, " You're one of them, aren't you? Those mutant hunters, the X-Men.". Despite what she'd just been though Rogue managed a chuckle, and a proud smile " Yea, I'm an X-Man. But you've got it wrong, we aren't mutant hunters, we work to help mutants and humans alike. We're the good guys. Mystique, the woman you just saw go off like a fourth of July celebration, and Irene, they lied to you sugah.". Mental Rogue, what Rogue dubbed her "twin" for lack of a better term, looked at her incredulously " How do you know Irene? Did you do something to her?" she asked pulling off her gloves and taking a step towards the battered X-Man. Rogue, smiled at her mental twin's audacity and loyalty, glad that she'd finally turned that loyalty to people who deserved it, " No, Ah didn't hurt Irene, she hurt me. Well, you.us" she said only slightly confused. Mental Rouge paused, " What've you been smoking?" she asked. " You don't see it?" Rogue replied with a smile, ignoring the sarcasm * God, am Ah really that bad? * " I'm you. A little older, a lot wiser, but still you." " Ah might be some sort of freak," her mental twin argued, " but Ah don't remember being able to blow shit up with my eyes". Rogue's smile widened " No, you can't blow shit up with your eyes. But you know one hell of a kisser who can". " Ah ask again, what have you been smoking?" Mental Rouge said, totally confused by this stranger who claimed to be her. Rogue sighed and pulled off her gloves, without a word of explanation, she grabbed her mental twin's hands. Memories, images, and feelings flowed freely between her two selves for several moments until simultaneously backed away from each other in awe. " Ah...we..did all that? Helped all those people" Mental Rogue asked, tears of happiness in her eyes. " We sure did" " And that boy? Scott..he really loves us?" Rogue felt a huge smile spread across her face as she answered, " Yes, he really does." Her mental twin stared at her for a moment, considering something carefully " Let me see your hands, like this" She demonstrated, holding her hand straight up, palm outward as if she was going to high five herself. Curious, Rogue did as she was asked and her mental twin met her palms with her own before slowly melting, flowing really, into Rogue's body. As the last of her mental twin disappeared within her, Rogue felt different somehow. * Ah know how to control my powers * she realized excitedly * but how? * * Just what, or rather who, do you think was in that file marked Rogue?* came a faint answer * You above all people should know what kind of trickster Mystique can be. If she'd really burned your psyche, she'd have destroyed herself too. Now, when do Ah get to meet Scott? * " Ah'd say right about now" Rogue muttered happily, feeling Scott's powers draining from her body. With a final thought of thanks to her mental twin, Rogue brought herself out of the meditative state, and placed Scott's glasses back on his face, waiting for the moment her love would reawaken.
