Crimson Tears

Chapter 22

By aznJEDI13


Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Anakin and Amidala and everyone else. Heck, he owns just about everything in the story. This is purely for fan enjoyment.

Notes: This takes place during the Clone Wars. I must warn you right now that I'm not a big fan of Anakin turning into Darth Vader so it probably won't end with anything like that. I hope you like this; I've been reading too many ami/obi ones I was sooooooooooooo mad. That was completely random and I'm going to write a bunch of stories to rebel against them!

Thanks to everyone who left a review! Please continue to do so. I was so shocked, I've never had so many reviews and I enjoyed reading them over and over again so please continue! I like long reviews too!!!

Sorry I've been so absent. Life is hectic now that school's started! Look hopefully for an update a week.

Once again, Italics means flashbacks or dreams. =D

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'…I'm never gonna say goodbye
'Cause I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I'd swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
'Cause I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joys and you pain
And I'd swear it all over again…'




His quarters were dim.

But she was there. He could feel her; somehow he could feel her. Her presence cried out to him fiercely, beckoning him to come to her. Her very soul intensely screamed for him.

And just as desperate, he searched for her.

Once he found her shadow, he opened his arms and she glided right into his embrace. He hugged her tightly afraid that if he let go it was possible she would slip away.

She clung to him, arms around his neck, head resting gently against his chest as he unselfishly wiped loose tears from her eyes.

When she pulled away, his adjusted eyes could make out her delicate features in the pale light of the moon. She was beautiful.

Despite the dried trail of tears, her porcelain face was glowing in the moonlight. Her auburn hair, long and curly, flowed down her back in waves of magic. It was an ocean of beauty. Her dark brown chocolate eyes were potently fixed on him, dancing in the dark, as her glass tears began to dry.

Her perfect nose, small and petite, carefully placed in the perfect spot. Just like her nose, her eyes brows gently shaped in content were placed perfectly. Her mouth held the perfect curve and her lips were perfect, not too fat, but not too small and most certainly moist and smooth. Her cheekbones were even and slender yet strong and not too big, but not too small either.

She was perfect, if that was possible. Even more so, she was an angel. She was beautiful.

Though her face was a sign of pure magnificence, he found her hands just as majestic or even more. Her hands, though petite and delicate, were smooth and soft. They had magic in them. Her touch sent shivers through his body the same time he felt the joy that they brought. Joy that came in just a light touch on his arm or a gentle caress on his rough, coarse cheek.

And her hands, whether, she knew it or not was the most curious and fascinating part of her. Though her face was beauty, her hands were strength, her hands were not crude and coarse, but were smooth and soft. Though mystery to any other soul, he knew her hands, to him they were magnificence.

He looked her straight in the eye; cerulean sky blue bore into a chocolate brown. Speaking volumes in just a single glance. He stepped towards her.

"Padme," His husky voice quivered, "You're beautiful," He brought a shaky hand to cup her cheek, "Incredibly beautiful."

She smiled sheepishly, "Ani…" She breathed, "Love me please, love me."

She pulled at his collar, bringing his lips down to meet hers. Just as they were going to touch, he pulled away to look at those chocolate eyes again. "Padme are you sure?"

She took a deep breath, reaching up to caress his golden curls, "I don't know…"

"Padme, I don't want to do anything you're not sure about."

She played with his collar, bring his face closer to hers. She whispered, "I love you Ani. I just I want to be loved." She reached down, taking his free hand, "Love me please."

She pulled his free hand to her bosom, but as soon as he felt the contact, he pulled it away. He closed his eyes, "No."

He took her hands from his neck and led her to the bed, where he sat. She looked away, "Padme, look at me please."

She stood between his legs, when he reached over and pulled her face over to look at him, "If we continued…you wouldn't be doing it with me…you'd be doing it with him…you're not ready for such dramatic changes as that…"

"Ana-" He stopped her placing his finger on her lips.

He pulled her down to look him in the eye and whispered, "But know this, know that you are loved." He leaned over and planted a tender kiss on her cheek, "You are loved."

They embraced. As he pulled away his finger got caught on something. Pulling it away gently, he looked at her.

"You kept it."

She smiled, "I did…" She furrowed her eye brows, "You just saw it this morning Anakin…"

He pulled her down onto the bed, and then he propped himself on his elbow, "Yes, but even so, after all these years you still have it."

She began to play with it, "Yes of course."

He was mesmerized; "You still wear it, even after I was given up for dead, you still wear it…"

"I have worn it every day since that funny little boy gave it to me."

"Why?" He asked, his eyes boring into hers – blue passionately meeting brown.

She looked down at the pendant, "Why? Because I loved him every second of every day since I met him."

Then she looked up at him and noticed he was crying. She reached over and wiped a tear away. He grabbed her hand and planted a light kiss on the inside of her wrist, "Missed you so much."

She smiled, wiping away her own tear, "Missed you too Ani."

He pulled her into his arms holding her at her waist as she snuggled against him and rested her head against his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat. They stayed that way, contemplating in the silence.

But for the first time that silence was a silence of content.

He sniffled, minutes later, "What's happening to me Padme? I don't know who I am anymore. I am he, Anakin Skywalker, but I am also me. One minute I'm him and another I'm me."

"I don't know," She glanced up at him, "I don't know."

He kissed the top of her head; she sighed and pulled away, out of his embrace, "What's wrong Padme?"

She looked at him, "I have to go back soon…" She paused, "My duties call, I have been away too soon."

His eyes narrowed, "You're a senator…"

She smiled slightly, "Yes, a senator…"

He looked up at her and propped himself on his elbow, "You don't want me to come with you."

She shook her head, "No, you don't want to come with me."

"This is my home now Padme! I can't just leave; all my friends are here…all the people I know are here."

She reached up and held his cheek, "I know…" She sighed, "But I can't just stay out here until you're ready Ani…I've been absent so long now…I'm not free to gallivant around the galaxy. I took a year's absence for personal reasons, but that absence started long before I found you, it started when they gave you up for dead. I had died with you."

He nodded, absorbing the information and asked, "If I stay?"

"I can't promise much Ani. I love you, know that," she sighed and ran the back of her hand down his cheek, "But it would be hard for me to get away to see you as often as you would prefer and I would like to. Our time would be limited strictly if you stayed here…my love."

"And if I go?"

She sighed once more, "You will live at my place…and most nights for a few months I'd be able to take off until you're recovery has been made complete."

"What will I then do?" He closed his eyes briefly, "Once I've fully recovered?"

"Hopefully, you can start tutorage for a fighter pilot program."

"Flying airplanes?" He questioned.

She nodded, "Yes," paused, then to study his face, "But if you don't want that - we can find something else."

"No," His shook his head, "No of course I want that."

"It's up to you, Ani. I won't push you." She smiled briefly, "But I have to go."

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes; "Can't you wait here until I've fully recovered here?"

She shook her head soberly, "You don't understand, Anakin, my job needs me."

"You love your job more than you love me!" he said startled.

"I never said that, " She pressed a kiss to his cheek, "Never." She shook her head, grabbed his hand and pressed it against her chest; "Feel this…" Her voice faded, "Feel my heart," She smiled at him, "It beats for you and you alone."

He looked away, "I'm sorry," then he turned back to her, "Then why must we go?"

"Chancellor Palpatine is trying to overthrow the republic. I need to go and take up the opposition."

"If you fail?" He questioned.

She closed her eyes quickly and then opened them again looking far away, "You will not be safe here -- he will began to invade the systems and take full command, we will need to hide."

"That's if you fail! I want to stay here Padme, this is my home!" he looked away, "I want to stay here. If you fail, I will come to you, no matter what condition I am in. Nothing will keep us apart for long, my love. But this is my home and I will stay until I feel ready to leave. You can stay with me, but I will not go with you."

She stood up off the bed, "But this is not my home, Ani, this is not where I belong!" She began to walk towards the door, wiping her eyes simultaneously, half way she turned to him, "But I need you," she paused, a loose tear fell, "I belong with you -- but I can't stay. I'm sorry my love."

She began to stalk away, but at the door she fell to her knees.

"Padme!"

He ran to her, pulled her into his arms and held her as she sobbed against his chest. He comfortingly ran a hand up and down her back.

He kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry." He whispered in her ear, "So very sorry. I shouldn't have…I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

He held her as she cried, listening to the mantra she repeated, "Need you, need you so much."

And he repeated every time she spoke, "I'm here, I'm right here."

He knew then that he had no choice but to go.

'…You can call me selfish but all I want is your love
You can call me hopeless cause I'm hopelessly in love
You can call me your perfect, but who's perfect
Tell me what I gotta do to prove that I'm the only one for you…'



"Nothing good can come of this, Padme, moving him to Coruscant?"

He paced the room tentatively; a pensive expression flittered across his face. He turned to look at her, "It's completely absurd and most definitely out of the question!" He scratched his beard, "What can you possibly be thinking?"

"I can't stay here Obi-wan," Her eyes narrowed, "Things are worsening outside this surreal bubble."

Still, he shook his head furiously, "And yet you insist on taking him with you!"

Her lips formed a thin line; "There are no other options."

He glanced away from her. Padme took a deep breath from her seat on the couch and continued to watch Obi-wan pace the room. She sat in silence as he paced. A filtered and remorseful silence, a silence full of anticipation and uncertainty -- it was a void that neither of them held any answers to.

Seconds later he turned to face her once again, "You can't throw him into a world such as Coruscant with all its vile and filth. He's remembering things -- he'd be dramatized severely. He's not ready for such a place. You can't pick unripe fruit."

She bit her lip in thought, "What am I suppose to do while he continues to recover? Roll over and pretend that what's happening's not?"

"I'm not asking you to…" His voice trailed off.

She shook her head furiously, "No, no, you're not asking; you're telling."

"It's what's best for Anakin. You can't throw him places he doesn't remember. He'd be so lost; so confused." He rationalized.

She sighed. Closing her eyes in deep thought. Obi-wan waited for her to speak again, "The fate of the galaxy is at stake right as we speak, Obi-wan. I know it; you know it."

He stepped forward and took her hand in his, "But the galaxy's fate does not lie on your shoulders."

She shook his hand away, letting it fall onto the couch. He groaned and turned to face the window, "You are so stubborn!"

"I can't sit here and condone Palpatine's actions! They're unmoral!" She argued.

He rebutted, "Then leave! Don't take him with you -- don't take him away from the only place he remembers!"

She wiped her eyes, "He's already agreed to come with me," She grabbed his hand, "I need him Obi-wan. Without him, I'm missing things, parts of me I never knew existed until he was taken from me and now, I've found those parts again," She paused, "He completes me. He's the reason for my existence."

"Padme," He sighed, "If you love him so much, you'd let him stay to continue to recover. He's in delicate condition. Unhealthy surroundings can permanently damage someone who's suffered as he has."

She shook her head, biting her lip, "Don't do this."

His eyes pleaded with her, his face, forlorn and fatigued, begged her. "I'm sorry Padme, he has to stay…"

Her emotions burned with wild rage. Anger swelled inside her petite body as she threw logic and reason out the window. She screamed at the man before her, screamed with all the passion she held up inside of her, "He wouldn't be this way, had you not insisted he serve in the dreaded war in the first place! Had you Jedi not pushed honor and duty into his head! Had you Jedi not implied he be a hero and live up to his forsaken name! He wouldn't be this way, had it not been for you and your kind! I won't let him leave me again!" She paused, "I won't lose him again."

Obi-wan sat aghast, not knowing she had had it in her. It had been a long time since he had faced Senator Skywalker and now he wished he hadn't aggravated her so much. "Padme, I'm sorry," He began, "I…its nothing like that!"

She nodded, wiping her eyes; "All I ever wanted was his love, Obi-wan, that's all I had ever asked for. But sometimes love is not enough. He is part of me Obi-wan, without him I am nothing. I won't lose him again. I couldn't bear -- I can't bear it. There's just too much love to stay away."

He shook his head, "Yet you insist on dragging him into a hellhole, feeding him to wolves!"

She bit her lip and looked away gazing out the window; "I won't take him to Coruscant."

His eyes narrowed, "Where will you go?"

She smiled to herself, whispering, "Home," Her eyes glistened through the tears, "Home to Naboo."



'…Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life has been the same
I walk around just saying your name
Without you my world would end…'




Chaotic emotions swam fervidly through his paling head, swirling around catastrophic conclusions and demeaning questions. Why push something that seemed to be well on its way?

He closed his eyes in deep thought. Hoping meditation, something that had once seemed natural to him but now was a dreaded chore instead of an avid hobby, would calm his hyped mind. He took a deep breath and drew on the force, something that had once given him a shield of comfort now only released panic and pain.

How things evolve to the way they were now he'd never know.

He rubbed at his temples. But nothing seemed to ease his mind.

Soothing, suddenly he felt soothing. His eyes opened abruptly. He found himself boring into a familiar pair of cerulean sky blue. The most unique color of eyes he had ever seen.

The figure laughed, "What are you doing?"

A ten-year-old boy appeared in his mind, laughing and talking, playing and asking, 'Master Obi-wan what are you doing?' He blinked back the sullen tears. Memories were hard to block out and impossible to forget.

He reached out and clasped the man's shoulder, "Thinking Ani, just thinking. You're leaving?"

Anakin sighed, shrugging his shoulders and slumped against the same wall Obi-wan was resting against, "I suppose so."

"You don't want to?" He questioned.

"At first I hadn't," The younger man explained, "But now I want to…"

Obi-wan shook his head to no one particular but himself, "What did Padme tell you?"

"She didn't tell me anything," He looked away from Obi-wan, "I told her I wasn't going to go and as she walked to my door she collapsed, broken tears trailing fast paths down her cheeks. I ran to her and held her," He turned back to gaze at his master, "As I held her in my arms, I saw she needed me more then I needed to stay here -- just for my insecurities; I'm everything to her."

"It's humbling really, Ani, but you don't have to go if you don't want to go. She'd understand." Obi-wan paused, taking a deep breath, "Padme wasn't always like this. Once she had been strong-willed, self-powered, cunning, brawn and beauty. But then Anakin died; her whole world collapsed. He had been her day and her night -- the sun rose and fell on him. She died with him, it took weeks for her to get over his death, but she was still never the same."

"Death does that to some one." Anakin breathed in, "The truth Obi-wan; I love her; I have from the very moment I laid eyes on her. I won't hurt her and I certainly won't leave her."

He looked away, "Anakin vowed the same thing and he died."

"I'm not him." The other man stated simply and shook his head.

Obi-wan looked away and then turned back to Anakin, "I know." The younger one's eyes narrowed, "I'm going and you can't stop me."

A void filled their conversation. A silence of thoughts, regrets, and will. Anakin looked away afraid that he had said something wrong.

"I know," Anakin turned to face him. Obi-wan reached out and took the other man's hand, "I once admonished that and look what happened. Two of my close friends had their world turned upside down. I won't do that again. I can't condone what happen last time."

Anakin's eyes narrowed, pensively in deep thought. He smirked, "You'll come and visit then?"

Obi-wan smiled, "Of course, Padawan."



'…It's hard to believe some thing like you could happen to me…'




From the end of the corridor a lone shadow watched Master and Padawan converse. She smiled to herself, clutching her hands on her chest tenderly. Fingers brushing lightly over the japor snippet she wore in her bosom.

She sniffled slightly, wiping her eyes briefly before refocusing on the two forms.

Her smile widened.

//Yes this is it,// She thought, //Ani's coming home.//

To be continued…

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