Unique Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

-

Voldemort and Feminism

a very short story by sida

-

This message brought to you by the 'Voldemort for Supreme-World-Leader' fund.

-

The television flickers on at the command of Lucius Malfoy's very dark and gothic universal remote. On the screen is

Voldemort, trying to look very sincere and concerned. He clears his throat.

"Greetings, my soon-to-be slav- er... Greetings. It has come to my attention that my opponent in the race for

Supreme World Leader has been spreading false rumors about my standing on the role of women in the workplace.

These rumors are not true. I support women in the workplace immensely, just take a look of this video clip of an

average day in my life."

Cut to Voldemort on the beach, surrounded by a dozen girls in bikinis, rubbing sun tan lotion on him and giggling.

"Oh, girls, what would I do without you?" he laughed.

Back to sincereish-Voldemort.

"As you can see, I do not discriminate against women at all. I enjoy them quite a lot. If you haven't been convinced

by the first clip..."

Cut to Voldemort sitting on a throne in his obligatory scary castle, surrounded by girls in bikinis giggling.

Back to seriousish-Voldemort, who is now surrounded by, you guessed it, girls in bikinis giggling.

"Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have. But as you can tell, I certainly hold nothing against women. And remember-

when the time comes to cast your ballot for supreme world leader, but that check mark next to 'Voldemort'!"

-end-