Crimson Tears

Chapter 27

By aznJEDI13


Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Anakin and Amidala and everyone else. Heck, he owns just about everything in the story. This is purely for fan enjoyment.

Notes: This takes place during the Clone Wars. I must warn you right now that I'm not a big fan of Anakin turning into Darth Vader so it probably won't end with anything like that. I hope you like this; I've been reading too many ami/obi ones I was sooooooooooooo mad. That was completely random and I'm going to write a bunch of stories to rebel against them!

Thanks to everyone who left a review! Please continue to do so. I was so shocked, I've never had so many reviews and I enjoyed reading them over and over again so please continue! I like long reviews too!!!

Once again, Italics means flashbacks or dreams. =D

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Can't be that other woman
Yes I want you bad
But she needs you much more



His mouth hung open he was sure. She smiled slightly. "Come," She motioned, "Outside."

He followed her slightly, not sure whether to walk beside her or to walk behind her. She took his hand, and kissed before gripping it tightly, "Things were so bad, Anakin. So bad."

He nodded. She turned away from him. Looking out over the balcony. Alderaan wildlife surrounded the palace. It looked beautiful. However, nothing compared to the beautiful human being standing next to either one of them.

"I was sleeping next to a stranger. I ate dinner with a stranger. I called my husband a stranger." She paused, wiping her eyes, "Once the war started getting worst, things started to fall apart. We didn't see each other often. Anakin was assigned across the galaxy. Transmitting holos was too costly and too expensive. Occasionally, we did it, but it was just too much. We just went on."

She turned to look at him. "When he came back, he was different. He yelled at my attendings, he walked far away from me. He never talked to me until one day he brought the divorce papers into my office. I loved him with all my heart, Ani, as he loved me. But it was just too much."

"Did you two?"

She shook her head. "No." She stopped as if remembering, "I've never needed him more than when I needed him then. And for that same reason, I decided against having an affair with a friend of mine who I consorted with. I needed Anakin and only Anakin."

"Who?" He asked puzzled, "Who was it?" His brow knitted in worry.

She looked up at him, panic clearly etched on his face. "Oh Ani," She cried. "It was such a dishonorable and disloyal thing to do. I loved Anakin, I loved him so much it hurt so bad sometimes to see what had happened. I have never felt so alone in my life!"

He pulled her into his embrace, "I'm sorry," He whispered in her ear, "So very sorry."

She nodded, pulling away. "I sought friendships. I sought anything to keep me from feeling empty inside." She paused. "But no one man could ever come close to being like Anakin." She went to the rail, leaning against it. Looking out over the horizon. "I only needed Anakin. No other man could take his place no matter how hard I tried. I gave up. I realized my heart burned only for him."

He turned to look at the same horizon she was gazing at. "You went back to him?"

"He came back to me," She wiped her eyes, "Because I wouldn't sign the divorce papers. But I told him then what had happened and just how much I need him."

He turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing and his voice a whisper. "Why?" He paused, nervous and anxious, frightened and scared, "What happened?"

"I was pregnant."

"...I'll find the light to light my way..."



He stuttered, astonished. "Pppregnant?" His eyes widened, "With his?"

She laughed, "Of course!" Then she sobered, "For a long time, he was still Anakin -- in bed, but it had only been then, other wise he grew so distant."

"Don't you feel used?" He questioned.

She shook her head, "I loved Anakin and I knew deep inside he loved me. I have some great memories from that time." She looked him in the eye, "He was Anakin then and that was all that mattered."

"What happened after?" His eyes narrowed, "After you told him?"

She smiled again remembering the feelings. "Oh it was glorious feeling. Knowing that something was alive inside of me -- a symbol of Anakin and my deep, passionate love for each other. A being created by us. It was wonderful. So wonderful, it seemed that Anakin had returned -- come back to me. I loved it."

"Then what?" His eyes strained, "It got worst, didn't it?"

She wiped her eyes as tears fell. He reached over and brushed them away with his thumb. She sobered, taking his hand placing it on her chest. "We had already picked out a name." She laughed, "We were foolish. We loved the child unconditionally before we even knew there was a chance there might never be one."

He nodded. "You lost it?"

She continued, wiping her eyes. "I miscarried. It took a toll on me. It hit Anakin harder. He wouldn't leave my side until he was called away again. He told me he loved me and he'd be back." She sniffled, "That was the last time I saw him."

He closed his eyes briefly, "I'm sorry."

She reached to hold his cheek in her hand, "Don't be." She withdrew her hand. "Anakin was different by then. He wasn't the loving, zealous, compassionate man I had married. That was fine with me of course, I understand that everyone changes but Palpatine was manipulating him. Twisting his mind. I'm glad he died sometimes because the consequences of him turning would have been catastrophic. I lost him. It hurt me worst then miscarrying our first child." She paused, sucking an a deep breathe. "Our first child!" Repeating it as if she hadn't said those words in the longest time, she cried as she finished.

He pulled her into an embrace. Letting her head rest against his chest as he tears soaked his front vest. He wanted to speak, but his voice in his throat. He wanted to breathe, but it just couldn't. After a long period of silence – the only noise her small cries. After he had found his voice again, he spoke. "You never told me." He replied soberly and innocently.

She shook her head. "I couldn't. Keeping it a secret is the hardest part. Obi-wan doesn't know and Palpatine must never know."

His eyes narrowed, "When did you?"

"Find out about the affair?" She laughed, "Morning sickness made him feel guilty I suppose. After all it was partially his fault too. He told me. I was shocked. He said he didn't want to jeopardize our marriage anymore. He had stopped seeing her." She laughed again, "I threw up on him."

He smiled slightly, "So you forgave him," He paused, "You loved him that much?"

"He loved me unconditionally. How could I not love him back?" She caressed his hair lovingly. "I will always love him as I will always love you."

He smiled. "And I you."

His head began to spin in imaginary circles suddenly. He blinked and then focused on Padme. She was talking. Though all he heard was bits and pieces, finally he was able to comprehend. "Obi-wan will come and get you here." She stated matter-of-factly.

She pulled him into a hug; her head rested on his shoulder. She whispered, "I have to go find Bail right now. It's almost over Ani. I will find you."

He nodded. His head still spinning. She left him kissing his cheek slightly. He leaned against the rail, the headache worsening by the second. He felt like his head was spinning, it hurt so badly and his vision was so distorted.

"Anakin!" He turned at the sound of his name. It was Obi-wan.

Suddenly, his headache increased. His head was spinning once again as visions seemed incoherent.

"Are you an angel?"

"No, no I don't want to die! No!"

"Anakin, I don't want a divorce!"

"This is the only thing that will keep me sane!"
"Then I don't want to be sane Ani, I don't want to be sane if it means loosing you."


"I love you, Padme."
"I know."


The headache increased beyond comprehension then. He heard voices suddenly.

So many voices.

He felt his body slump to the floor and began to shake uncontrollably. He couldn't feel anything. His vision was rocky and incoherent as his body convulsed. The last thing he saw was Obi-wan running towards him before everything went black.

And it was the darkest black he had ever seen.



"…I think I'll go there on my own…"




When she arrived, all she felt was emptiness. For the first time in a long time, she felt completely and utterly alone. Strange feelings for someone that was going to run away with her soul mate, her one true love -- the only man in the entire universe that could and did complete her.

But she felt so cold, so alone, so empty. As if life itself had been drained from her. All that remained was her body. Her soul, her spirit, her heart -- gone.

It was a queasy, uneasy feeling that had begun in the pit of her stomach and not before long it infected her entire system. Then a monstrous migraine strained her reeling head. It thrashed against the walls and rocked against the waves of her mind. Yearning to be free.

Soon, she found herself retching.

The sick feeling too incinerating to keep inside and buried alive. It broke free of the uncertain chains and binds and once again she felt cold and utterly alone.

Empty, she realized. Everywhere was empty. She was empty.

Without realization, glass, salty tears had begun to steadily flow down her porcelain cheeks. She slumped against the wall, the nauseous, sick feeling working its way back inside of her. Perspiration beaded her forehead as a much worse and sharp headache returned. She breathed heavily, turning her head up to the dark room.

Shadows loomed everywhere but she felt completely and utterly empty and alone. She retched again and realized she truly was alone. Tiny prickles in her mind, then strong invisible fingers reached out to her.

Padme…

Ani.

Padme…help me please…

My beautiful Ani.

I can't take it anymore…Padme…it's too much, it hurts too much…

My beautiful Ani…

His voice consumed her head. She felt his touch suddenly, electrifying her entire body. She saw his eyes suddenly, searching her depths. Then she felt him inside her head, his presence strong and vibrant. It was he. Reaching and gnawing for something to grasp, but finding nothing. Suddenly sharp pain enveloped her and she screamed.

He was gone and she was alone -– completely and utterly alone.


And she had never felt so empty.

She began to shiver the coldness of the room too much for her ivory skin and warm blood. She wrapped her arms around her self as the shivers increased. Her body began to convulse and shake uncontrollably as she collapsed against a metal wall into endless slumber.

The last thing she felt was two, strong and stalwart hands grip her convulsing body.

My beautiful Ani…

To be continued…

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