Chapter Eight
Kagome and Inuyasha sat on opposite sides of a tree. So close…but not close enough… She was waiting for the sun to set, for Kikyou to fall asleep, for Inuyasha to become full human. She was waiting for a lot more than that, though. Kagome was waiting for this last battle, for the moment when her fate would finally be decided. She had finally figured out what Kikyou was doing. Killing Inuyasha slowly, through these exhausting battles. Then, when this last battle was over, Inuyasha would be dead, and she would join him in the otherworld. Kagome could guess who this last battle would be against. Naraku. And in his present state, Inuyasha didn't stand a chance.
Sneaking around Kikyou like this allowed her a lot of time to think about things. And mostly she thought about the end. She had little hope now, of saving Inuyasha. But she planned for it anyway. She had to try, at least. She considered various possibilities. Kagome knew he wouldn't let her take the necklace off tonight, so she would have to help him defeat Naraku, and take it off after that. Or take it off before he fought Naraku. Kagome's head was so foggy, she didn't know what to do. All she could think about was the way she was sure it would end. She imagined how it would happen. She would fail, and Inuyasha would die before her eyes. As much as it hurt to imagine, she forced herself to look at the situation. Kikyou would pull him into the otherworld… there wouldn't be much time for Kagome to follow. She would have to be fast.
"You comin' over, or not?" Inuyasha said quietly, from the other side of the tree. Kagome looked up. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed the sunset. She creeped quietly around the tree. Kagome had gotten very good at being quiet.
"How you feeling?" She looked at the bruised and battered black haired boy before her. He just shrugged. They had come to a sort of understanding. He would let her take care of him when she could and she wouldn't try snatching the necklace from him.
"Well, you look awful." Kagome didn't even try keeping her voice lighthearted anymore. They were beyond that. This could be their last real conversation, and they both knew it. That fact put them both in a somewhat somber mood. She had brought some ointments, but no bandages. Inuyasha said he had to look the same when Kikyou woke. "Take off your shirt, and let me help."
Inuyasha sighed, but obeyed. Kagome gasped, looking at his wounds. It was a wonder he could still move at all. He lay face down, stretched out before her. She sat cross-legged by his head, and he put his head in her lap, wrapping his arms around her waist, and snuggling his head against the pit of her stomach.
Kagome pulled out the ointments. There were two different ones, one to ease his pain, and another to speed healing. Not that that would do much good, the ointment needed some time to take effect. And time they did not have. First she did her best to clean the wounds, feeling Inuyasha's every wince as if it were her own. In his human form he was weaker, and he felt pain much more sharply. Before she put on the soothing ointment, she stroked his beautiful black hair for a few moments.
"What do you think will happen, tomorrow?" She asked, quietly.
"I've been trying not to think about it." Inuyasha's voice was muffled. Kagome pushed the hair back from his face and gazed at him, absorbing him with her eyes. "I will die. That is the only thing that is certain."
"No." Kagome kept her voice level. "I will save you, or we will die together."
Inuyasha's eyes looked strange. He clenched them shut. He still doesn't want me to see him cry.
"Please, Kagome…" He was going to start in again, trying to get her to leave.
"Don't you want to stay with me, Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice was full of hurt. "Do you hate me so much that you will kill yourself, and force me to watch you do it? Don't you care for me at all, Inuyasha?"
"Kagome, don't think like that! I'm trying to protect you! If you had left when I asked you too, you wouldn't have to watch me die. If you left now…"
She cut him off again. "Oh, so you just wanted me to spend the rest of my life, knowing that I turned my back on you when you needed me the most? That I let you die without even trying to save you? Is that it, Inuyasha? How would you feel if I asked that of you?"
He looked at her as if that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.
"I would never leave you, Kagome, you know that."
"Well then why are you leaving me now? I'll be all alone if you die!" Kagome hadn't thought she had any tears left, but she did, and they were beginning to fall. "How can you do that to me?"
Inuyasha winced. He was always so unreadable. Kagome couldn't tell what emotions were flitting across his face.
"I don't have a choice, Kagome." His voice was pained. "I did this to Kikyou, now I have to make things right. Even though I hate leaving you, I know you'll be okay. You can go back to your own time, and you'll be safe."
It was Kagome's turn to look at him as if he were stupid.
"Naraku did this to her, and to you. You did nothing wrong, Inuyasha. Loving Kikyou didn't kill her, but it's going to kill you." She began dabbing the pain relieving ointment on his back, blinking back the tears. "As for not having a choice, I could fix that. If you'd let me. Naraku will kill you tomorrow, and does anyone care that now I have to get the jewel shards from him all by myself?"
She was trying to guilt him into staying with her. The truth was that she didn't even care about the jewel shards anymore. All they caused was pain, and suffering, and if she ever got her hands on another one, she'd just smash it into smithereens. She just wanted Inuyasha to be with her for forever. She just wanted them to be happy, alive, and together.
Selfish? Yes. Do I care? Not any more.
"Kagome, why won't you just accept the way things are?" Inuyasha sounded tired of the argument.
"I have been pushed past the brink of acceptance, Inuyasha. I have accepted the fact that you do not love me. I have accepted that you may never. I have accepted, and tolerated, and understood everything that has been shoved down my throat. But I will not accept life without you. And that is that. Why don't you accept it? Now how can I help you tomorrow?"
Inuyasha rolled partly over, and looked up into her eyes.
"You're serious, aren't you?" He looked shocked, but slightly pleased.
Kagome let herself smile, and stroked his face with her fingers. "Of course I am. Inuyasha, please don't leave me here alone. Please, let me help you tomorrow. I still have my bow, and lots of arrows left!"
Inuyasha smiled as he sat up and embraced her. She held him tightly in response, trying not to hurt his poor wounded body, and failing.
"There's just no getting rid of you, is there?" He spoke kindly into her neck. "I do love you, Kagome. So don't ever say that I don't again. But Kikyou… I have to put my past to rest. I don't know how to do that, Kagome. I let her die! How can I let her go, without betraying her again?"
Kagome had no answers for him. All she could do was hold him tighter, and comfort him with her kisses.
